Hollywood Handbook - The Pro Version #409 + #398: A MIND SUCH AS THIS and DAN O’SULLIVAN, OUR JOURNALIST FRIEND

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

Enjoy these un-paywalled Pro Version episodes! We're back next week with new episodes of Hollywood Handbook!Zach (Clip King) returns to show to finally let the Boys trade in their tickets and show them how normal he’s been handling the spotlight.The Boys welcome DAN O'SULLIVAN on the show to talk about his new podcast, The Outfit, and challenge his journalistic integrity.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hey guys, Chef Kevin here. If you missed it last week, the boys and I are taking off some time for the holidays. So we are unpaywalling some of our favorite pro versions of the year. So there's two pro versions in this episode, and we are back next week with new episodes of Hollywood Handbook. Enjoy. This so Dutch, walk, out for a second

while we're like getting ready for the show and all that he comes back um with a glass and the amount of cold brew in the glass is I I consider that an actionable threat to me

well it's no it's no accident that it is a mason jar what I realized is sometimes we will come here in the cold brew will be empty Zatch is jarring and reselling the headgum cold brew when he comes by and he keeps being like maybe I could come by and do another pro version

and it's he is stockpiling and it's not a secret that headgum's not doing amazing and why do you think that is well that's what I'm putting together that they have I was helping him out

and it is jarring really disagree okay I really the impact to me is and it is drawing and it is jarring it's jarring to see him jarring the this coffee like that the hard-earned coffee that marty worked for i apologize i can go put it back you know what if they actually used like found bank or rocket money or one of these they would realize they would be able to track they would actually be able to track that the whole thing the whole you know people go like oh you know

Did they lose money on? I'm not going to single out some show, pick a show, but doing like Gareth's new show or whatever, you know, like whoever it is. Like if it was like, oh, is that like, you know, next we have that Gareth show is that that lose a lot of money for them just as an example, you know. And I go like, I don't want to pin it on that. Yeah, but really the coal brew too, like that was unavoidable, the Gareth thing. Yes, that's priced in. Yeah. That's, you expect that to happen.

That's about the next deal. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And then you take a bath on this one. Kevin not responding at all to Gareth's show being made fun of. He's like really. But once it does, ooh, look out. But even just a facial expression from him, we got absolutely nothing.

I was doing it a little bit for him. That's like one of his shows. I thought like, oh, this will be funny. He doesn't even remember what shows he has. He has too many. It's like, I appreciate the reminder. I'm supposed to be recording that now instead of this. She takes everything out of his pocket and puts everything back in like multiple times throughout the recording.

And there's so much at his pockets. It's like, it's just like very hard to focus sometimes when that's happening. Zatch. Yeah. I saw Zatch waiting outside when I came in with this 90 gallon. plastic container full of props but he will end up filling with

coal brew on his way out of here he's sitting right now he's sitting on the little bench looking off into the distance hand on his big plastic bin hand on my duly creating a character that I have come to think of

as forest dump remember when I misheard the mace lyric his hand on my duly no and bow money My money for problems I believe he says Handle my duty

But I always thought it was Hand on my duly And I'm a dully And I'm a dully Uh Zatch Yeah You have requested

Uh huh So you're You're pushing up against the format That we've created for you here Huh? Yeah You're starting to feel the edges And like you know

Like needing a little more room To play around You have asked for an extra long pro version. We don't have time today. I was denied. We don't have time today. We gave you a full half hour, which is longer than people get for an episode of comedy television. Because they have to incorporate ads.

That goes down to 22 minutes. If we offered you 22 minutes, I, you know. Sorry, I'm going to do this. sometimes the ads being kind of funny is not relevant at all to what we're discussing. You're saying you asked for more, you asked for more time than people get for a half hour coming television show. I can see it from your face, take that look off your face right now.

You're about to say that the time of the ads affects the length of the show. 30 minutes of entertainment. But that's not what we're saying. We're saying you were given 30 minutes to do a pro version. And this has no ads. You said you wanted more time. The pro version doesn't have ads. And we said that's more more time than is awarded to Jerry Seenfield when he's making his television show than is awarded to Raymond Romano when everyone's loving him. Christella

didn't have that much time. And so if you said to Christella like, oh, some of the ads during your show are funny, she wouldn't go, oh, I guess I had even more time than I thought for the episode. That's just not relevant. It's not true. And also, you're not going to talk to her. So don't be like... Christella would prefer you keep your distance.

Don't rehearse your conversation with Christella. I have so much of that way. Unless it's from a very long distance. Whenever I try to... To a passing car. Yes. Whenever I try to use the bathroom at headgum, Zatch is inside the bathroom already.

Door unlocked. lights off rehearsing his conversation with Christella in the mirror and it has to stop because the areas of detail that you're getting into at these conversations I see you holding

we're never going to get there. I just hope that one day I'll be able to tell Christella who I definitely know who that is fully aware. The bit is he doesn't know what Christella is. I know it's disrespectful.

no more of this guy, please. Speaking of that. We should have her on and then bring Zatch in to have her explain to Zatch who she is. That'd be nice. Every famous person's dream. Speaking of that comment, part of why I'm here, yes, we have a lot together. There's so many parts. I know, there's so many parts.

The first part, part A, I have written another song. directed at the haters and the commenters might have taken it a little bit too far might be escalating things a bit we can bleep a lot of it can bleep all of it it is seven minutes long

oh my god okay and so it's like slim shady only got six minutes six minutes slim shady you're on hmm the song They had Or please hammered

Which song is that? Yeah Um Does it happen in I'm back? Six minutes Slimshy I can hear it in my head

Well they are actually saying it at the top of rap god weirdly But I think it is referencing a song off the Marshall Mathers LP Which I think might be I'm back Guess who's back Back again? That one? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I was just trying to get to a homophobic part. Yeah. They're my favorite parts. I clip all of them out and stitch them together. Kind of I do a new song. Yeah. Oh, it also might be Remember Me. Remember Me and I'm back.

No, it's not, I'm back. All his songs were like that for like a couple albums. They were all like, knock, knock. I have no snare in my headphones. Who's there? Yeah. No, I'm back is not guess who's back. What is that? Is that guess who's back?

Guess who's back? Okay. So that was my conclusion. See, they were all. Some variation. Ding dong. I think I'm back goes, I murder a rhyme one word at a time.

You never heard of a mind as perverted as mine. You better get rid of that nine. It ain't going to help. What good's it going to do against a man who's strangles himself. And that, I think, is how I'm back starts. Gotcha. Vain Viking, Vigating, ving, ving, ving.

That's kill you. I know what is. That's kill you. That's kill you. Well, speaking of Eminem, this is an Eminem track. I was hoping you were going to say speaking of killing me. You know what? Maybe I'll wait until after the show and then we'll finally.

I'm doing great. you guys um anyway i'd love to do the song the headphones we're really starting from scratch I got it I got it um

do you guys want to put on your headphones wait start putting your headphones on again I have a soundtrack ready do the thing where you're fumbling with them again Duh Duh Buh

What is that? Oh my God Oh, boom Boom, boom No, no, no Yeah, no, yeah movies, but let's listen to this. Yeah, 2001, I got it.

Okay. Okay. Oh, and I didn't get to do the Thank you, Kevin. That thing is going down. I can't Wait! It's not going to happen.

Dude. Yes, it is. A flood. All the animals in the valleys. We needed this. Kubrick movies. That door is going to be like the elevator. The shining.

The chorus is still intact, but just imagine it's talking about the comments. Excuse me? You'll say it. It's fine. Just imagine this is about the chorus or about the comments. Because, like, the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me. Because, like, something, something, some, please know more of this guy.

Yeah, that would have worked. All right. A.I could never do my job, but please don't double check that. They say I need a beard so I can cover up the net fact. The Zat-Tap. Clip King, I'm a Zaghtag. Your bricker-brack has is a knick-knack. So I'm a hit you with.

that fucking rasmataz while I'm smoking on that motherfucking sass a frass man you the reason why there ain't another masterclass catch me up and down Main Street while kick your ass and all that jazz like I'm John Stockton give you three options but ain't nobody watching now name

a higher number before I put your six feet under just imagine these dragons the way I'm about to bring the thunder I don't ever drop the act I'm committed to this drama damn I love this fucking job man I swear that I'm my mama better take this double other way I'm like Como Tiamas for a Kame how me hiya like a curatory yama

I like to you said metfack just put the fandom in the bag man you think you're in the pack man because you wear the hat man you're scared to be your own man quit running from your ghosts man you ain't fucking pack man bars bars

there's no more of this guy he's no more of this guy you know I wasn't good of poppy until it all went south so catch me at the opera with your mama and your spouse you better watch your mouth you better watch your words before I Zach Alfanaquey ass between two firms

you and ancillaire character you remain absurd and now you're doomed to die like Rosencrantz and Gildenstern I know it hurts to learn but you'll get used to that urn Catch me in 1992, being born with a yearn. Catch me in 2002. Talking to your mom on aim in the computer room. That's right.

I'm your father. I'm your daughter. You a child. I'm your papa. That's why you remain a problem, but I remain unfathered. I'm gonna tell you ass the pieces like Chenade O'Connor. I'm a make sure ceaseless bitch on my honor. I got the votes like Mom Donnie, so if you need to find me, then on the shows where I'll be.

What have we done? Just relax. I'm sure to be gone quick like a fad, but for now you're fucking gone and done made Zach rap At least say hello before your ass gets mad before I come in sallow. You like Marquis sad But I get it. I'd be hating things that I don't have. That's why the one thing I could never hate is the fucking fag I just run the socials, but if you fuck with me, I'm gonna wind up being hostel. I mean hospital, this at gospel, spread the word like an apostle. Don't you fuck with this colossal, lest you end up as a fossil, bitch. I am B.B. Cooper.

I'm a real straight shooter. A scoop, trouper. I'm the fan surrogate. Sure to get alerted to the burden of this shit. Don't know where my soul is like a bird up in this bitch. I'm a never let the host get out a word up in this bitch. Oh my fucking God, well, you just sit and listen to the kid. Oh my God, I swear to God, this is it. Like, my name was Sean Clemency.

You must imagine sister fist. This going wind up as a clip. And I swear I'm just like, hey, is the way that I'm a pretty bitch. Don't you ever speak on Mount Amy and not even as a bit? Or they'll have to call me Adnan the way I definitely did that shit. Nice. Whoa. I will only learn of your name once are canceled like a dry guy.

I'm quoting your loved ones when I say, please know more of this guy. My name's Ash. I mean Zach. You're shit whack. I mean faxy crackers I'm like you at mass The bread of God I make it fast I'll take it in the form of cash

Guess I had will you just laugh But you just had to go and ask And that means that you can afford it And the more that you ask The more you ask gets more of it So I'm gonna beat your ass now And after that So what do you say we hit them

With a little back to back Oh my fucking Look I just want to take this time To say thank you to everyone Who left nice comments I got to tip my cap with it and have been supportive. I really appreciate it.

He blends it to mash up. Not a mashup. Midly. It's like, trust me, man. You don't want these hands. You a goofy motherfucker call you comic sands. They say the best laid plans of mice and man often go awry. So I'm looking at you like, come here, pretty bunny.

You couldn't do what I do, not even as a hobby. You want to be on this show. You're also not funny. Time to put the tragedy. back in comedy. I'm a ethically dispose of you privately. I mean, honestly, I'm in awe of me. I'm not Smash Burger, I won't squash the beef.

I'm a send you right to jail like Monopoly. I'm a park my ass in place on your property. I'm the Click King and this and the aristocracy. I'm ashamed of your deeds like your father be. And I know you tried before, but play this for your girlfriend. She'll be listening like, what's the name of this show again? Wait, is that the cute guy from the clip? You sent the one that has the views?

that are in the millions. I mean, I knew there were boys. You didn't tell me they were men. Next time that you comment, will you tell them what I said? And when do you think my odds are? Like, out of ten? You know, that movie Hall Pass kind of interesting? Wait, do you know if he reads his DMs? You know, you've been acting weird. We might be better as French. I'm feeling myself. I'm crafty like felt. I'm cooking in this bitch like Kevin Bartel. You whining, you yelp. But the cards have been dealt. You better run, coward. Like thanks this help. You just uh well, but I'm the pick of the litter Yeah, I might be bald, but I remain that ginger I mean, go figure, let me paint the whole picture

For I strike down upon you like I'm quoting be stricter I am the opposite of whatever small is I'm coming for your throat so either swallow or spit If you're coming for the king, then you best not miss Or your friends will be crying like where the fuck's while this And through all this, there's just one solid list And that is the fact that you remain quite harmless Only in danger to yourself

No one else in this city So I'm a torment your mind till you're 51-50 Jesus Christ, did you hear what he said? This dude might actually be a lunatic He just lost this shit over a few comments And then went the fuck in for like six minutes You goddamn right So cue the damn confetti

Your brain's about to be looking just like mom spaghetti About to cancel your ass faster than Alan Gregory Till you're surrounded by a mountain of allegedly's Yeah That's it It's chillow The breath control It took

I had no idea You write all this stuff out And then you try doing it And there's no you There's no like Don't say you Perverbial you You guys don't want to get it on this?

I wrote this stuff out And then I tried doing it I tried doing it. In front of you. There's no precedent for this type of behavior. There's no anteceding, like, sitting here, experiencing that in the room was like an episode of Mind Hunter. Wow. In a, oh, and which one am I?

You are the mind. I am the mind. And I'm trying to pinpoint. How do I hunt a mind such as this? I'm the question stuff there's a lot going on in here first of all let me say bars thank you I will say we must say bars it did it did just in terms of like the self-editing of it all I will say it did end on the weakest bar of the seven minutes yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was left with a little bit of a, okay. Yeah, no, I know, I know. I kind of like. Yeah, because there was points before that where I was like, oh. Yeah. I will say until like, until yesterday evening, it was just the first song. Wow. Well, I, oh, I'm glad you did the second error on our part to not rush you at here on a Sunday. Yeah, yeah. Let you get it out of your system. We need to stop this while we can. And then you set and then so this is actually helpful for mind hunting.

purposes. You said, I feel like only one person in this room looks like they belong on Mine Hunter in a certain capacity. Okay. We're talking about the song right now. Okay. You said, I apologize. I didn't. I take it back. You said, I should do another song. I had this one in the chamber ready to go. I should probably do another old song. You had some leftover. You had some leftover bars. Yeah, that I liked. Okay. I thought, how do I, can I build this out and do anything?

Right. And nothing in the first one was replaceable. Nope. Nope. Wow. Even the mess ups that were written into the. They were written in there. That was cool.

Yeah, I always wonder if people plan that stuff out, if rappers like you plan that stuff. No, I planned it out because I did go, well, you're going to be nervous. You're going to start it. and then the energy in the room is going to feel like, what the fuck are you doing? And this is, yes, as a mind hunter,

I've never encountered in my life this convergence of confidence in anxiety. I don't know how they can't exist in the same mind. It's tough, I'll tell you that. It must be. I really can't imagine. Mm-hmm.

Oh. Well, congratulations. Thank you. You've done it. the comments now will probably be about the same but they're gonna think, but they're gonna think

for just an extra second before they write. Am I giving ammunition to this madman? Oh, man. Am I gonna wind up on the next track? Yeah, am I gonna get called out by name? And in this box? Yeah, in the box. You have

Uh, I mean, it's a, it's a wonder emporium. Yeah. So this is what originally the whole episode was supposed to be before I decided to go off on people is it's time to turn in all of your tickets. Oh, okay. Which you guys. Oh, wow. You guys brought yours, right? Okay.

So what's in here is prizes for our tickets? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Okay. No, I didn't bring my tickets. That's okay. All right.

Um. So. So current total is Hayes with 28, Sean with 36. And we do have to congratulate. It's nothing. Zatch. I'm sure he alluded to this in the song at some point where I was kind of tuning out. But Zatch did go viral again.

I didn't go viral. A story Sean told about his trip to Whole Foods that Zatch wrote and produced and that Sean was sort of wondering if it was it was three different stories about one trip to Whole Foods

it's true Zatch said we'll get them all try all for is Sean was like can I just do one of these should it be one of the other ones that says we need to see how they lay down on the track and then I will

pick and then the one he picked we weren't sure then I tried to bury the whole thing and say, you know, I don't think this is going to work at all. Yeah, I mean, yeah, my memory of it happened. I was trying to protect that actually, but he did

everything. It was a lot of handholding. He really tried to avoid. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's a huge incredibly impactful clip that has really done wonders for the show the one time that we were not doing the show at all. Right.

Has pick up, oh, this is what people want is just a story about the grocery store and then so many comments that are like we need we don't need more podcasts where people just tell stories from their day to day well this is an idea that i have that i wanted to bring up and zatch maybe you could be in charge of this sure keep talking while i said i'd like to create like an AI bot you know how these things like auto respond like if somebody asks a question on reddit or something it'll automatically like link them to an answer anytime someone leaves a comment that says uh make podcasting equipment more expensive i want them to automatically get a response directly to them that says make leaving comments

on the internet more expensive that's a really good idea i think it should happen and again it's much like your rap. I don't think it'll stop anything from occurring, but I think that it will give them just a moment's pause. This is late, what we're watching Zatch put together, this little prize shelf. This is like late period,

absolute peak of his powers chaplain-esque. spilling little super balls everywhere his hands kind of like following after them and then just letting them go yeah i know some people will go wow can you have done this before the episode and it's like no no no no no no no no no no um but yeah if anybody if any of the tech geniuses that listen to the show want to help me with that project i think i could i could really punish people He was a little bag for you. Because it is like, the story was just, you know, that's just humanity. And it's not, it's not typically what we do here, but sometimes, you know, we are people and life happens.

And Zatch says, no, I don't want that. He said, don't do this. I'm going to send a clip from a totally different part of the show. Then Hayes was like, could we do like some of the whole food story, probably just the checkout line part? Then Zatch said, okay, well, this is actually the funniest part of the story and he just did the kombucha part and he was like, so this is better and the other piece is like uneditable and would never be a viral clip. And then I was like, well, can we just see it at least? And he was like, you could see it, but I don't get why, but like here I'll show it to you. And he like tried to make it bad on purpose.

And then I was like, okay, well, here's how you could make it better. and he was like, fine. I also think the the chapstick story would have worked. Although, would have gotten a lot of engagement

because there would have been so many comments saying, that was offering you chopsticks. That would have been, obviously, the kind of clip that we usually have become popular like Hayes mispronouncing a city

in Arizona, which I won't even attend. but Hayes saying tempe or so that that gets probably but only because people are so mad. The Whole Foods won a lot of people were mad because they kept going, I don't even, I mean that someone say this to me in person. They went, how is this story not just she scanned it six times? That would have been a better story. That's not what happened.

Yeah. Also like, I can't even. I can't even get into it I do like some of the comments that were like wife wife I didn't even see that I actually specifically said that I was not going to read the comments no that's good because some of them were going to make me mad

and you said that's fine I'll read the comments for you and I'll pick the best ones and chosen to filter down the and then now you are here telling me about negative comments in person which the whole point of me not reading them is because I don't want to engage with that stuff so then you showed up here to bring it up yeah it was interesting it was

I mean there are worse ones I could tell you know that was pretty harmless something's considered I just don't I just my wife is just like not in quotes she's just not in quotes specifically not in quotes okay so I got a little prize um uh tower tower for you guys where we got towers better it's a shelf that is clearly a tower parachute men bouncy balls candy some basketball card packs um a yo yo yo a tack deck oh and i also this is fun to see it all here because i'm i can picture all of it on an x-ray screen in my son's stomach absolutely um and then i also have you know how there's

you know how there's always some big prizes that are like yeah yeah you could never and if you did you'd be paying way more than they would cost anyway you have a AWO boom box yeah a genuine gift wow I love

I love the bouncy ball cup I love what you're doing with that that is so smart so so it's kind of do you how you guys want to spend your tickets you know it's your okay your whole thing here well i gotta get the i got to get the basketball cards okay you uh one pack or two genuine gift well i think i need to open the genuine gift it's one of genuine bones you don't have to

i'm warning you both they're like genuine gifts it's not it's not like a six okay i'm not gonna open it on the thing i do want my present you gave me a good present before and i want my my my real present now So I'm taking This is for a pack of basketball Yeah, I know I'm taking my three tickets back Okay, well I was just kind of helping out

Maybe for the... You may think you are Well, maybe for the listeners That don't subscribe to the video It's here you go 16, 18 My present now 20

22 24 There you are his Wow, it's really heavy Yeah, okay Here's eight for the cards Here's 25 for the present Okay.

I've got three left. There you go. Thanks. You know what? Give me the other ones. You want the other pack. Yeah, just because there's no way. Who is this?

Who is this? That is Martin McDunna. Have you seen three billboards outside? I do. No. Yeah. So he wrote that. I can't really see.

What's that? Cooper yeah yeah oh okay I've got three left you got three left so you're you get a bouncy ball um you can take that whole thing a candy or a or a safari animal well you said I could get a safari animal so oh is to say five on it you know what you said well you said that well you just said I could get it no you're right I got him okay let me let me pick out a good one. I've got a good one. All right.

I have three. Oh. Gotcha. Hmm. I'm going to take a parachute, man. Parachute man. Purple one. Parachute man's pretty good.

We've got a gorilla, a rhino, two big cats, an elephant. You know, my kids like giraffes. Yeah, drafts are cool. and what do I like this hippo cool looking hippo

I love the texture to it this looks like a reindeer which I don't really think of as a safari animal and there's a there's a Nerf is that a Nerf gun in there? Yeah so what I was so Why is there saliva around the barrel? Bye

Hollywood Handbook Hi I'm Beck Bennett I thought I was Beck Bennett No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host the show, what's our podcast here on Headgum? But we want to make sure you heard about a very special episode with a very special guest that we just released in the feed.

Yeah, it's in the feed. It was sponsored by Squarespace because they were appalled. We didn't have a website for our show yet. They were like... You don't have a website? What are you guys? Like kindergartners? They wanted to do something about that. So we built a flawless, beautiful, perfectly designed website live on the pod with our very special guests and very website. savvy guest. Should we tell them who it was? Let's, but we could play 20 questions. I don't think we have time for that. Is it person?

No, it's not. It's Finn Wolfhard. But Finn had a bunch of great ideas for the website. Beck, you had some amazing ideas for the website, too. You had some amazing ideas for the things. Well, I was sort of driving the thing. I was sort of like clicking and... And I was like, let's put a little... Let's put some widgets in there. I was talking about widgets. You get done using that phrase widgets.

Yeah, there's all sorts of stuff there. And you might want to check out the hippo. Just go check out the website. Just know that there's a hippo video and know that, you're going to want to watch that. We had a lot of fun making this episode. We had a lot of fun making this website. I think you're going to have a fun time listening to it

and maybe watching it. Think of it as our little Christmas present to you. Yeah, yeah, this is a gift for you, okay? It's just like, it's a selfless thing we did for you. Thanks to Squarespace for making us build a website, sponsoring the episode, and for supporting creators across the Headgum Network. Go check out the bonus episode. What's our website from what's our podcast on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts?

Go to Squarespace.com slash beck and Kyle for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Beck and Kyle. Yes, sir. To save 10% off your first purchase of a website domain.

Get it, Kyle. So did you smoke with O'Bomba? Was I in the Chum Gang? Is that what you're asking? I, no. I wouldn't expect that just... is pretty simple. Just because you

host a podcast with Obama's imprimatur on it doesn't mean that you are in the chum gang. Do you understand that? I think I mean, I never professed to be in the chum gang. He asked if that's what you were asking.

Right. But it was strange because what he asked was did you ever smoke with Obama? Did he smoke you up? Did Obama smoke you up? I've never been so first off this is a no I mean I can feel that it's a no

and you like really want to have like a story to it where it's like I almost did or something which like go off it's a very binary the question was easy yeah

and sometimes I actually will have thought that Obama smoked me up but like then I'll realize later when he actually did well hold up well you're on that mid shit yeah Obama's not about that booty shit I hope you know that's why he's smoking me up damn

that's why he's smoking me up I'm not smoking I guess I'm not following the smoke up Obama I'm not following the skewed logic where your shit is louder than Obama's I guess you're saying that's not what he said Dan right but you're half gone off half that

roach out of your shoe you're off that shit so he can't handle obama's shit right that means obama didn't smoke them out well actually i've been smoked up many times in my life by by sorry by a president which which one yeah yeah i'm asking you i'm asking you which one yeah i'm asking you which one you want to know about bill clinton forget it man gone off the hydroponics i mean this you got to understand saxophone bomb this was the 90s it was a different time how old were you when this was happening god damn man you're gonna make me date myself i bet bill clinton wishes he could do that you know yeah yeah that he could date himself yeah well i think he actually likes to date women outside

of his marriage yeah like that yeah i don't think he would necessarily he's trying to date himself if he could be satisfied with dating himself he'd be in a better position because he's kind of a narcissist you know so yeah okay yeah but i'm just saying like look we all date ourselves from time to time and hey it's not that kind of podcast so uh well i'm glad you brought up podcasts i'm actually glad you brought that up me too you have a new podcast it's for headgum yeah it was invented by obamba it's called the outfit that's right mm-hmm uh because you put that shit on and

it's you and somebody else who you didn't want to come today no I actually told her don't do not do this why you say you actually did something that I just said you did yeah yeah

you said no I just want to you said no as well the communication so far let's have a hard reset just on everything because he said you didn't want her to come and you said no I actually told her not to come. It's been me saying, you did this and you saying, no, I did.

Or me saying you did this and you saying, or me say, I did this. I said, no, you did that. No, you didn't. If you have your story straight yet, can I go now? Okay, thanks. So what I said was, it wasn't just that I didn't want her to come. I said, do not come. It was more affirmative than that.

You will not enjoy it. Now, look, we're doing doughboys in a couple weeks. That's the big one. Don't come. but for now do not come doboys double it's a main episode wow so kudos i didn't want to bring it up i'm just saying like look we'll save the you know save the heavy firepower they those little bar the little granola bar from like the 80s main episode like it's this like premium opportunity now like Mitch goes to the airport and has a doboy's main episode sign up it holds an eight and a half

by 11 up the lengths they will go to to have anyone but us it's just like It's not a compliment to you. It is a slight to us, obviously. Yes. Right. But it's just not. It's about us. Yeah.

Every episode of Doe Boys is about us. That's the thing that people need to understand. So if you, like, if he, if you didn't speak to Obama directly, I know, like, I'm listening to the show. I'm loving the show. Thank you. And thank you, sincerely. The fact that the birth certificate stuff is not coming up was that, like, something he. Are you saving it?

Like, is that like a final episode? or was it a directive from him not to do it or is it just kind of like everyone knows their job well like with doughboys like they waited so long to do McDonald's you know that was the big one and is this sort of your McDonald's are you so so sorry we could just get a clean question

probably because you're going to edit out some of that what was the question the question is if and when you're going to grow some fucking balls and like actually like dig into this stuff and my thing is like if there's nothing to hide then like you're a journalist I would presumably you would be like wanting to

I'd want the real story out there yes you know are you are yeah why don't you do it then you got a podcast I'm not a journalist I'm an entertainer oh so the John Stewart line oh I'm on after crank yankers I don't have to but once you do that and you'll do it

in a way that's like boring and no one wants to see but like we can translate it commentate on that actually make it accessible. Hey, this is actually interesting. We know how to communicate this to like the normal people in the world. Like what John Stewart does. A lot of people end up getting their news there when he's commenting in a funny way on some on a journalist who did sort of a dry, you know. And that's funny to you? But he didn't write the articles. You understand like you like, do you understand that? Were you under the impression John Stewart is right? Are you asking me if John Stewart's funny to me? Are you asking? I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

yikes yeah i'd say so and that was kind of like him that was kind of like the thing that he does the johnny car yeah yeah yeah all right that was pretty good yeah well that's hit yeah that's him doing john doing john carson yeah yeah rest in peace you know yeah and we honor him so much yeah john dead such inspiration yes he did did you call him john cars he did pass john carson did pass John Carson did John Carson Jonathan Carson John Carson must die

I did I actually didn't know that Johnny Carson's full name was Jonathan Carson Mm hmm Johnny Jonathan We

Listen to your podcast It's about Mafia Yeah Well the mafia Not mafia Oh my gosh These guys

I had no idea What they're up to You're doing So much I didn't know So much I didn't understand And the main premise... Oh, I was lost.

From second one, I was lost. The number one thing that it seems like you're trying to convey is that these guys were even more Italian than the stereotype. Right. That was the main thing you took away from it? That seems like what you're really driving home is like there's a stereotype about like these guys are Italian. Yeah, it feels almost cartoonish in a way. It's, you know, they've been portrayed in these kind of two-dimensional caricatures. Yes, and you're kind of saying it's actually way, way more than that.

And you said in the first episode, I think you said that you're 15, 16th's Irish. I'm a white ethnic. And the other 16th is Italian, is that right? That's right. And you say that the other 16th takes over like the venom symbiote sometimes and you, like, you lose total control of your body and you just wake up, you don't remember what happened. And it talks to you. Speak more with your hands. Well, you told me, or you told me before we started recording.

which I hadn't asked about but it is interesting that your blood type actually is raggoo. Now that, you know, and Kevin, if we could, I told you that in confidence, obviously. Oh, I'm so, I thought,

well, I mean, you know, but it's, it's good to know as a podcast host, it's good to get that out there because, like, people will send you blood, like, fans will just, like, send you blood. Has that happened to you? Oh, yeah.

And, like... Who sends you blood? And how? Fans, certain types of, you. women oh well you have women listeners i didn't know that actually we don't anymore they started to yeah okay we're starting to rebuild that yeah section in the audience we were doing how well are you doing at that so far it's a slow process you know what i mean like uh rome wasn't built in a day and neither was having you know and you've been doing this podcast 20 years 20 years

am i mad this is the journalist we have a journalist yeah but it's also but it's also but it's Also, he's all over the place because it's like, I said that I was achieving the kind buds with Bill Clinton in the 90s and it's like, how old are you? Like, he's challenging me, but then the podcast has been happening for 22 years and it's like, pick a lane. Am I older, am I young? Is it a baby or is he an old man? I genuinely don't know how old you are.

Right now I look like I'm looking at the two bullies. That's good. That's good. That's working. Yeah. The two bullies? Remember the two bullies from Christmas story? Farkas is like...

You're Scott, and then you're the one that's the littler one who's next to him. Littler than Farkis? Farkis in his yellow eyes. Yeah. And then he had the little goon next to him, remember. I think he has a couple... That part of it, I don't remember as much.

I wouldn't be like the two bullies from a Christmas story. You know what I mean? I guess you're not that much of a fan. I mean, they played on, for like a 24-hour loop. This is famous. We know his name, and then you're remembering this other thing. The two bullies. I'll tell you what.

Two bullies from Power Rangers, Balk and Skull, are the two bullies. Yeah, they're always referred to. You are like the Bumpus' dogs. Bumpus hounds is more typically what they're called. No, you're not, you're not hounds level, dude. Your dogs goaded. You wish.

Well, the Bumpus hounds get the turkey, so I think I know who I'd rather be. Well, they ruin everyone's good time. Like, people have something planned that they want to do, and they come bursting in the doors and ruin. So ignorant about Christmas. you for getting the turkey but you ruined oh i'm sorry they don't have a wonderful chinese meal in a scene that should be removed from the television rebroadcasts that's what you're saying so you're saying

that everyone should just be hungry at the end they have a roast duck they have a peaking duck at the end and there's a very offensive singing you just said you just said that that whole part should be taken out and so everyone would be you know what the way things are going today probably should be taken out yeah you just said that i did say that that's the way things are the way things are going today here or just in society

everywhere man it's everywhere ever since Obama left the show I was interested I've learned so much first episode

was about Al Capone sorry I keep saying you taught me you call him throughout the whole episode Al Chaponi which I had never heard it

I actually don't pronounced that way before right i i think mr choponi you say i mean i'm sure you recall the thing of like oh i don't i don't actually remember what i said in the episode but i'm pretty sure i i can't listen to myself right yeah yeah that hits now i have trouble listening to you as well but you know but i definitely find that you know um get lost what are we 12 minutes in that's a pretty good length for this episode no why let's talk about mafia guys sure let's go ahead man other myth i mean like you're busting myths all over the place yeah myth busted your refractory

period on myth busting is insane the way you could just like come back and just bust yeah for me as soon as i bust it's gonna be a little while before another myth is even on my mind no more myths for a while yeah i'm gonna need i'm gonna need a big long break i'm gonna go play video games or something you know but what you're playing these days huh what's what's you play in these days uh you know in between you're not gonna know it i i go deep i i'll tell you you're not gonna know it i go pretty deep on video i'm like a gamer i listen to these like get played guys and stuff and i just like i'm really like deep deep deep what's one yeah yeah yeah I mean just it's because I also like there's a whole variety of ones that I sample for it's a buffet you know there's so many there's it's not like he just plays one game no no sure but when you say what's one you're kind of acting like he only plays one game but he actually plays a lot of different I wouldn't read that into it that's an interesting I don't think anyone at home was confused by that but I play but I play yeah I play a ton of it's fun man you just disappear in the world better the movies now you just get in the story I do um

America Farm Story I do What is that I've not heard of that one What's that game? It's that's immersive That one's immersive And my guy is like

Huge now Farmer He's gotten so big Yeah yeah yeah And you can Put it on Facebook Yes People can see on Facebook

Literally everything you do on it You can with you can So that's how immersive It is actually becomes like your entire Facebook feed and your real life. It's your whole life. It's meta. I mean, it's like I'm, yeah. And it's, you know,

anyone, people you know, people you don't know, people you know from the game. It's like, it's unbelievable what these video games are now. So it's you, you can talk to, you know, I have a system and I have, yeah.

So you're farming? I'm oversimplifying a little bit. I'm not not farming. But yeah, there's more, you know, you got to take care of all the stuff. And you have to like invest. Sounds really cool. To get to farming.

Yeah, I'll check it out. Is your Facebook, it's on your Facebook? I'll definitely check it out. Yeah, it's connected to my Facebook through the Metaverse. And it's like, yeah, you can play with your parents. You can play with your... Do you play with your parents? I, you know, unfortunately no.

Unfortunately. I'm sorry, have they passed? No, just a no contact kind of thing. Cool. Their choice. So America Farm Stories, like, let me put you on that. I would appreciate it. That would be awesome.

Thank you, man. Yeah. I want to talk more about these. The Bible, I play the... Oh, go ahead. These mafia guys. Yeah, we have to. Oh, I appreciate that.

Are these the mafia, guys? The, uh, so you talk about, like, JFK, there's like this whole thing. Everyone thinks it like, oh, JFK and like the mafia was involved in like the JFK and like he and Sam Jancana. Does he talk about it? Yeah. He, like, he really gets into this shit. I'm not talking about. You're nasty.

Everyone thinks. That stuff is top secret. Everyone thinks that like the two of them were like both sea. being Marilyn Monroe and this is like part of it but dance well thing is like that's part of American Farm Story too is it is you do see Marilyn Monroe wow I'm on the she's like one like the second or last boss and it's like a puzzle where you where you move the sliders around and yeah and then like it's her pushing her dress down and it makes an image yeah solve and it you solve so there's a puzzled mini game component to American Farms well I want to talk about

mafia yeah it's huge it's part of it so his whole thing is that um jfk and this mafia guy were both seeing the same person but it wasn't maryland monroe they were both actually double teaming yogi bear yeah that and he talks about that and he can draw it as well right and one of them's boo-boos dad is that so like that was that was confusing to me when you talk about how one of them is boo-boos i don't think of them as father and son and also it's like who birthed yeah Oh, no, Yogi Bear is not Boo's dad. We know that. So, yeah.

But his whole thing is that, yes, one of them is boo-bo's dad. I don't see how that's related necessarily. To them double-teaming Yogi-Bayer. You never say which one it is. I'm not like. Well, we don't know which one it is, first of all. Okay. We know it was an M-Preg pregnancy that led to.

That led to what? That fateful day in Dallas. It was. Mm-hmm. The Yogi Bear got pregnant from getting double-teamed by those guys and one of them is boo-boos dad. Do we know for certain? That's what led to the events of Dealey Plaza, November 22nd, 1963? No.

I'm not, I never said that. Yeah, you just said. Yeah, you did. You just said that's what happened. You said, you said, do we know for certain? You said they busted a jelly sandwich so big inside Yogi's picnic basket. I did say that, yeah. That it ultimately led to.

Picconic. basket is a pick a nick sorry pick a nick basket ah pick a nick basket like that yeah yeah um but but that yeah that they double team they busted jelly sandwich so big in is pick a nick basket that that it caused basically jfk's had to explode listen what what we're doing on this show we're we're talking about how organized crime explains the world explains america and the circumstantial evidence that we'll present and let you decide the tony serpento episode yes that to me me epitomizes what's wrong with the show oh really i am always eager to take notes i was so excited to hear a real explanation of the man's life the man's crimes but also

his nobility yes that it that in a way it was not a code of honor oh okay so so what's so do you have a question yeah why did you mess it up so bad and what was the thinking behind doing a bad job yeah because basically you just start out talking about how you were in choir you were in an a cappella group in college and that you sang serpano and that was like your vocal range and then you knew from the beginning you said, oh, this guy's gonna sing like a canary. And you just basically would say that to, are you married?

No. So I guess it was Sean's wife, then. I don't know that you said, I thought in the show you said, I would turn and say it to my wife, but I guess it was. Must have been your wife. I might be like a Lars and the real girl situation. Maybe. Yeah, no, no, no.

It was via text to Sean's wife, first of all. So that's why she kept checking her phone and that it was like, watch, this guy's going to sing like a canary. After all, that's what Sopranos do. Mm-hmm. Which like, it's called, it's an okay observation. It didn't really come up for most of the show. Listen, cast yourself back.

Alan Gregory, we're staff in the writer's room. Okay? Fox, you get in the call up. Journalism. Jonah, Jonah, Jonah is sending his avail. dirty business okay we're calling you up to the big leagues bud it's time to learn how it teleplay where does he

dig this stuff up you know it's all made up me okay as many as three entries down our Google results and yeah it got canceled immediately and yeah the reviews were awful ran its course they got every they said all they want to say got every episode

got every episode up on the screen not everyone can say that i don't need 200 episodes basically a regular chicanos alan gregory right i don't need 200 episodes to tell a story of a little boy who seems like he's like some kind of genius but then the creators have decided definitively that he's not but he does talk differently than all the other kids but then it's just like i guess like a quirk but we don't really get into that at all but there's like sort of this weird adult element to him we actually knew how to end it like that show didn't know what didn't know how to allen fate alan gregory was in the bear situation where we said, you know, we said we think we can tell our story in three episodes.

And when we laid it out, they said, this feels like seven. And so, yeah, there's a little bit of treading water, you know. Obviously, episodes four and five, some people say, oh, it really feels like the story stuck a little bit. And you go, well, that's where the characters are because we are kind of extending what was, truth be told probably a three episode story into seven full length episodes. hey, they do three episode seasons because you don't have this problem. Series. They call them series.

Series over there. That's right. But I want to talk about mafia guys. I understand that you don't, but my question is, if you don't care about it, why should I? It just feels like we're bouncing all over the place. I won't stop talking about Alan Gregory. It's been off the air forever.

Speaking of bouncing all over the place, what's going on with your leg? you nervous made you caught a lie no no got something to hide this guy's like some mafia guys you know it's a bit of a tell when i'm a little impatient with some of the people i'm dealing with i just sort of you know uh-huh and that one 16th took over just now do you feel it yes that's right yep you seem to think the way you talk about tony serpano or the or the or the actor you seem to think that do you know the actor's name

well I know his name and I know you do too but I think that's maybe all you know because you seem to think that Gandalfini is like a Gandalfini is like a little version of Gandalfi yeah see you're correct to be I picked that up too like I picked that up too you the way you talk about him like

he said we've got we've had Gandalf the gray we've seen Gandalf the white now I got Gandalfini this little guy so So this is a version of Gandalf where when he's in the same shot as the Hobbits, he's the same size as them? You tell me, man, this is like, this is your thing. The way you talk about him and his, like, his tiny staff and, like, all the stuff you do with that is nasty. Yeah.

Right. Again, I don't remember. I mean, you record an episode. It goes right out of your head. I don't exactly remember. I can't listen to myself either. Yeah, I can't stand listening to you guys. I mean, you're the.

You're the road dogs. You've been doing this a while, right? It's like how many hours, you know? It's like, yeah. You know, how many years we've been doing this, right? Hey, congrats on the show, by the way. Thank you, man. Thank you.

It's not easy to get one on here. You know what I mean? I've seen some pretty big names get put in the deep freeze in terms of the show. Come on. Give me a taste. Yeah. Come on. Let's name some names here.

Come on. This is another Jonah Hill situation? Come on. Kevin would know. Kevin would know. There's some... I signed an NDA. Mm-hmm.

See, that's, you know, Kevin's a working guy. You guys could learn from this guy, you know? I feel like Kevin and I are cut more from the same cloth, you know? I feel that, too. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. What else do you do in the show?

You talk about how Joseph Bonano started the Savano Bonano's? that shocked me because they didn't they don't feel to me although I guess you know the mafia was in charge of Vegas entertainment showgirls all that stuff yeah like glitz and glamour that kind of came from them you think they were making their money off show girls in Vegas was actually the gambling more in Las Vegas you think that they were skimming money from their showgirl operation but I think this sort of uh how were they making money off show girls in Las Vegas because because the show girls are what draw you to the city and like while you're there you need something to do and so you do

currently or during the time that the mafia was sort of making it what difference would make in answering your question well i guess it's there two different questions so i struggle a little bit the difference would be one would actually be a question you were asking me related to what i was talking about and the other one would be just a total tangent that you went on about something else in order to sort of like corner yourself and protect. Is there a shot clock on this answer? Well, is he not able to talk or is he talking too much? Yeah.

I think both. Either cats got my tongue or my tongue is like just escaping all of the cats and no one could catch it. It's a, this is a lane issue. You're really straddling the center line with a, with a lot of this stuff. Well, that's your opinion. well I guess you're right that I have yeah I cannot actually respond to that in any way other than to say fair play sir what are we bowling opinion yeah what do you mean center lane

bowling oh I thought you were referring to the fair play yeah it seemed like you were responding directly to fair play right I said her line also but I but we but you have this I was talking about picking a lane earlier but I was talking about straddling this you do you do pick a lane first bowling savano bonano Jesus pick a lay buddy I say to the bullet the boy who's just like big a lane using a different lane just pick a lay it's so hard to keep score because you really can't what frame is it what lane is it yeah yeah yeah that's that's what you'd say in that situation that's crazy I'm picturing that now so you had a question well you were talking about the savano bananas yeah i was kind of trying to

connect i was like that's so surprising me the mafia would be involved in that yeah and then i was thinking about like the history of the entertainment and the showgirls it was like they've got don't get him started on that again i'm actually on his side about that you seem to think that the show girls are like i mean my question is if they're not sorry you're the expert on the mob in Las Vegas. Well, this is why I want to learn at your feet here. If they aren't making any money off the show girls at all, then like, why are they there? Did I say that?

I didn't say that. Oh, now we're saying you didn't make any money at all. I mean, you were like, oh, they're making money off of that. How are they making money off of that? The tone was like, they're not making money off of that. That's how you read into it. That's fine. You know, no problem.

I mean, look, that's your prerogative, okay? I'm just saying. The tactic is impenetrable. I can't move. So the show's on the headgum website. Yeah. Normally I think they put it on other platforms and stuff, but this is just on the headgum.

It's just the headgum. Yeah, it's somewhere on the homepage of the site. It's on Apple, Spotify. No, well, they say here everywhere podcasts are found, but their thing is like podcasts are only found on our. website like that like when they say that it means something else i thought it was like a cool tie-in of like the mafia's got secrets and now like this show is a secret like you got to kind find it on the website somewhere yeah is that so i and it moves around the player moves around

it's like escaping it's like it's like running from the feds it's like your tongue being chased by cats apparently didn't know that idiot until today no i yeah that was on the spot because i was yeah just sort of trying to oh it's It's happening again. It's happening again. But, uh, so is there sort of a,

is there like a coat of omerta kind of thing going on around like promotion for the show where, like if Amir plugs it or something, he'll get killed. Like what, like, what's the idea? Because he got a decent following. He's like one of the heads of the network.

I haven't really seen. Oh, you don't know him that well, I guess. I know. No, I don't. I know mostly from his, like, publicly available, like social media and stuff, which is where I've assumed would be most helpful.

But this is like a whisper campaign that's happening. Yeah, right. Yeah, well, I mean, as someone who has a really broad fandom, right, like really not a small, very focused exclusive. We're trying to bail back our broad fandom. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right.

We talked about that. Yeah. That's right. I remember now. Right. See, this is what I mean. I don't like listening to myself. wraps it all around yeah you know um no i i think uh you know the promotional stuff has just

been top notch we've been really enjoyed i'm sorry you haven't seen it you know i don't know what are you on rumble what where you um where you dwell mostly we're you see we're over 30 minutes yeah you do see that right well you find me on facebook you know uh any gamers out there come on get involved and um and obviously check out the outfit bye That was a hit gum podcast.