Hollywood Handbook - The Pro Version: Listener Questions (with Ayo Edebiri)

Episode Date: March 19, 2020

The Boys are releasing one Pro Version episode from behind the paywall every Friday in Try Month. In this episode, Sean and Hayes have a little fun answering some listener questions with AYO EDEBIRI. To hear all episodes of The Pro Version and Hollywood Handbook: The Ads Version, go to stitcherpremium.com and sign up with the code ‘HANDBOOK’ to get your first month free. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. diminishes me well i wasn't at the time at the time i was not and we've been known to do ad separately sometimes okay but you like you put your headphones on you pull the mic towards you to me that is that you were ready to do they can't see are you not ready they can't see that haze that's why i'm saying that it's both of us uh and now it is but when you started talking it wasn't necessarily so we are releasing one full bonus episode every week from our premium bonus series hollywood handbook pro version it's we now and it's and it says please provide a short description that highlights how pro version differs from regular hollywood handbook episodes where to such a like a big question like where to even like begin on something like that like how is it different like

wow I mean it's different oh it's different as hell uh it is shorter than normally. Well, normally it does cost money, but in this case it is free. Yep. So now is it the same? But there's rarely a guest. Sometimes. Yeah. But not very often.

No. If you want to listen to the rest of Hollywood Handbook Pro version, go to stitcherpremium.com and sign up with the code HANDBOOK. I would say, just as a description, that the Hollywood Handbook Pro version is a free-flowing conversation that occasionally touches on mature subject matter. And how is that different from what we do on the main show? I would say that that is a very stiff, stunted conversation

that constantly explores nothing but mature subject matter. Can I just say this? You have a promo code here, yes? Yes. And what do they get for using the promo? StitcherPremium..com sign up with code handbook i think one month free okay it doesn't say that you get one month free with using code handbook you promise this it's a chef kevin guarantee write to kevin and let him know what

you got when you used it you'll get access to all our bonus episodes and add free listening experience for all earwolf and citrus shows in theer app. But you can also listen to the ads version too, Kevin, should be in here. That's right. Wow. Yeah, because the ads are all screwed up now in the free version. So if you want to listen to the show, basically the Snyder Cut of the show is basically what it is. With all the ads in their correct order,

you can listen to Hollywood Handbook the ads version it's different from the pro version but it is in there and you'll be supporting our show too thanks for listening hope you enjoy the episode and remember that's StitcherPremium.com promo code handbook and again nothing about the bonus and my name's Sean

like Kevin promised when we're sort of like walking the ground so like kind of check it out ahead of the thing uh me and max right yeah you don't have a sorry monster yeah max monster Yeah, Max Monster and I, we are, of course, getting ready for the big Universal Monsters, like, show that they do every day. But unveiling this new monster, Max Monster, who is... So we look at all the other ones and we're like, what's the thing that like makes these exciting. Yeah.

Often it is greenness. Yeah. I, I, in the case of two of them, I remember we made that chart of like, what are the commonalities? We basically mind hunted all the monsters and said,

what are the patterns that we can draw from this? What are the similarities they share? So that we can create a monster profile in order to ultimately make sure that Max Monster scares the bejews out of everybody. Yeah, and so greenness, having a wife is a big one. Very scary to have a wife. I can attest to that. Hair somewhere.

Often that is crazy. In the case of one of the wives and the one that has hair on his even face. No, we really went to battle with how do we make Max Monster's hair different, but still recognizable as hair. And what we settled on was that it comes straight off the back of his head. It's like a long cone that just juts out from directly behind his skull. And that is very scary because what if he swings, hits you with it? And the green element we wanted to exploit. And so he is an olive.

Yes. He is a big olive. With pointy cone hair off the back of his head. And he has the cone blasting off. And he has a wife who we do not see, but he talks about a lot. He goes, ah, the old lady. Let me check in with the old ball and chain first, actually. But they are in love.

Yes. Just the fact that he's checking in is nice. No, that's the thing. I think a lot of people, I'm guilty of this, they sort of enjoy peddling off their responsibilities. They're like, well, let me see if my wife will let me do it. And Max Monster is no different. But really, it's because they care,

and often they do just want to spend some time at home with their wives. And it's a convenient excuse. Sometimes it's not always fair to your spouse. So we do the show and just like the introduced music is like coming in and it's like, and he sort of tipped over backstage and like, just a little, like a part of actually the pimento part.

Yeah. You can just see sort of peeking out from behind the stage. Wings of the stage. And all the stagehands and me are like trying to lift him up. But we accidentally squeeze the pimento out. Come shooting out. It's pimento with a little kind of blue cheese filling around it. Yes.

Which smells scary. That did goosh out. And it did not suffocate a mother, but it did sort of briefly smother. Yeah, she was struggling to breathe Experience a mother smother The smothers mothers That's what she became As one of the smothers mothers

Now With a name like smuckers It's gotta be good That must be something It's an ad Right Now Now, that must be something. That's an ad. Right. Now, what was, because I was in the audience, the juice that squeezed out behind the pimento?

What was he filled with? That was like an electric brine. Yes. So it's like that is what sucked me like an electric brine. Yes. So it's like that is what. Suck me like an electric brine. In the narrative that we had invented for him, that is what is kind of keeping him alive. That his brine was effectively zapped. His brine was struck by lightning, animating him and making him the live scary Olive that we all know today. Max Monster with the big cone of hair coming off the back of his head. Shook me like an electric brine.

Hello, welcome to Hollywood Handbook, and today we are having a pro version. Yeah, it happens from time to time that we do have a pro version. Sam's here. Hi, Sam. Hi, guys. Do you want to talk about what this pro version is? You guys have listener questions. You've been working on your freaking radio voice, man.

This guy's freaking Frasier Crane over here. Do you guys remember Niles? He had a- ASMR? Or likeM nothing. Because that's the end. That's the end of your name. ASMR.

Oh, I didn't get it. Can I try one? It's over. Yeah. ASMR? More like S-A-M is. Oh, no. Our guest is here.

She's lost. What the fuck? Jesus. Get in here. She doesn't drive. Get in here. Do you need it? What do you need?

Ayo, what is happening? I thought I left my sunglasses on the table, but I didn't. So this is just sort of like humiliating. Did you find them? Did you lose them? Well, no, obviously not. I'm like here looking at the table. Are they in the lobby anywhere?

Yeah, maybe they're in the lobby. I mean, they also could, Well, you know, listen. Oh, they're... Okay, great. They are listening. They're in my bag. Because this is live. We are actually doing this right now.

Oh, we're fresh out the... Oh, nice. They're in your bag. You didn't check your bag first. They're in my bag. I didn't check my bag. Because you remember leaving them here. This is a not credible story.

No, it's not. Okay, fine. I missed you guys. I missed you. This is very thirsty It feels like she wanted you to know She has sunglasses Yeah what is

The presentation Yeah because Sean was talking smack I heard Sean talking smack You thought that I was A fucking mic addict Yeah I'm a thirsty I'm a thirsty ass You know

Mic addict Yeah Attention head ass Late ass Bob ass Mic addict Freak Mic fiend

Mic freak Are you gonna be here And while we take a question From a listener I mean like I guess I could do that You can stay for at least one Cancel your ride.

I canceled it. It's dead. I canceled the driver. Oh, no. He's canceled. The show will cover whatever the cost is of canceling. No, there's no fee. Everyone, if you have an Uber driver named Michael, he's canceled.

The driver's name is Michael? Yep. You might want to do something that I've seen funny people do, which is like make a joke about like the Uber drivers, like in a show or something. You'd be like, oh, like Habooby is here, you know, like and the name is like crazy and really funny. That's fucking sick. I'm sorry. You talk about how they like stink. Yeah.

I see a lot of people doing this online. This guy, Penis Seaman, tried to give my ass a ride. Okay. Listening to this dang world music. Yeah. Sort of like that vibe. Yeah. Yes.

I can't believe I'm being a mic hog. Dude. Put the headphones back on. What is going on? You can't believe it? You can't believe that? That's what I said. I said what I said.

Pod goddess. She loves the pod, man. Look at her. She's so alive. It was crazy because you wilted when you left the room. You had so much energy when you were potting. I got sick. I got physically sick.

Yeah, that's right. Sam had to give me a Pepto. Yeah, you got pod sick. Yeah, that's right. Sam had to give me a Pepto. Yeah, you got pod sick. Sam. Yeah. So Kevin solicited questions. We got so many, way too many. Stop being so extra to everyone who sends in all these questions.

But now we have some here that we can read. And now if you can believe, this is really the first time we have done this in like four years, possibly even five years. Would you like me to read you one? Yeah. What's the best way to throw a successful family reunion? And that's asked by Jimby. The best way to throw? In my family?

Don't. Where are you from? Huh? Where are you from? Huh? Where are you from? It's somewhere crazy Okay, just feels like you're My family's so nuts Yeah, that feels like a different

Like it feels like you've done three different accents My family is so weird First of all, there's mom Yeah, mom You're all familiar with this. Honey. Hi, honey. And don't forget a guy whose name is the dad.

Hand me that. Can you hand me that? This is like your dad's thing. Yeah. Oh, and Auntie Florence is around as well. Hey, honey. Oh, here comes little brother. Hand me that.

Okay, so it just feels like, sorry, like a family can look like anything, obviously. Just feels like you're- Thank you. Yeah, let's just actually, let's just leave it there. Maybe. Yeah. Here's the best way to throw in one man doing seven or eight impressions. Very similar phrases. Very similar.

Wait, let me, let me do this. Let me get this off. So here's the best way to throw a successful family reunion in the trash. Oh, throw it in the trash. And do come see my one man show

Please come see my one man show Blood type hand me that Hayes and Sean Hi boys We were just Just hitting our stride with that one From the Chicago show here I was wondering Borat from the Chicago show here. I was wondering.

Borat from the Chicago show. Yeah, okay, I remember that. What do you guys think of the recent trend of music biopics? And he lists five of them. And who would you like to see get a movie? Okay, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rocketman, Judy,

Yesterday, Blinded by the Light. Who's Judy? Yesterday's famous music biopic. Yesterday is not a biopic. Judy Tenuta? I think of her more as comedy than music, but I guess she did do both. They did a movie? Okay.

And who would you guys like to see get a movie? Keep up the good work. Signed, Paul Jacobson. Who would I like to see get a movie? Keep up the good work. Signed, Paul Jacobson. Who would I like to see get a movie? Me. A music biopic? No, I'd like my one-man show to be made into a cool movie. Oh, Blood Type Hand-Me-That?

Or at least an HBO special. Yeah, Blood Type Hand-Me-That. Yeah, you could get a special. He's A24 produce. Mike Berbiglier. I gotta get in front of Judd. DP. I need Judd to see my stuff.

What's weird is we're entering an era where you could basically do Ray again with Jamie Foxx, but he just takes his sunglasses off and is Jamie Foxx now. Jamie Foxx, but he just takes the sunglasses off and is Jamie Foxx now. And it's a movie about Jamie Foxx doing music now instead. And if you basically just digitally remove the sunglasses and call the movie Jamie, it would be a really good movie. He would win an Oscar. And that was actually him doing on Gold Digger. And that's nuts. He actually, and he did that.

And he thought it was going to suck. He said that? He said that. He said, I was doing it and I was like, this sucks. I remember that interview. This isn't going to be good. Who would you like to see have biopic? Of like Singer?

Yeah. Well, does he say that? He just says, what do you guys? So, well, let me say this. What do you think? Let's unpack this. Break it down. What do you think of the recent trend of music biopics?

And who would you guys like to see get a movie? Yeah, you're right. So it's two completely separate ideas you're right okay i so okay answering the second question i would like to see mr bean get a movie uh because i think that it's his time to shine what if we did narrow it down to musicians what musician did you think should get a movie? Cookie Monster? Do I have to change my answer? The Cookie Monster? I guess if I music, if I music, if I think

Tom DeLonge. Long last. Just soft rip. Something real finally. I just think the industry is so fake and full of phonies and like I just think he's the only real guy. It's been a long time coming. How do I convince my dad that sports is the real job?

That's eSports. eSports. Well, from Jordan. Jordan. Jordan, does Engineer Jordan? Jordan. Jordan. Jordan.

Does Engineer Jordan? Well, he's probably upset that you're not using your frigging BA in vocal performance. It might mean, like, they might call engineering esports now. What if it's not? What if it's Michael Jordan? Okay. Because he's got, like, he's, like, probably got debts. Okay. And that sort of thing.

Okay. That's right. And he's talking about his dad, obviously. Who was murdered. How do I convince my dad who was murdered? Who was murdered. But esports is a real job. Now, this is a challenging question.

This has become a very delicate one. Just in the proper context. People have different things that they wish they had been able to communicate with their parents. Have you seen frequency? Have you seen contact even? Yeah. If I'd just gotten the chance

to make my case that esports is a real job. To my dad. Just sick to my stomach. Before he got murdered almost 20 years ago because of the other sport that I was doing. That's not really a sport. Almost 20 years ago.

Over 20 years ago? Do you want to feel old? If only my old man stuck around long enough to be convinced that esports was a real job So here's a theory that I have Can you hand me that? Yeah go ahead Spot on impression of Michael Jordan's father Spot on

So my theory has been proven correct You and Michael Jordan's dad were never on this planet at the same time. Can I ask you a question, Haynes? Do you believe in reincarnation? Actually the version of it that I believe Is you get to You get murdered And then you get to Sort of

Regroup And just like Just like chill In heaven for like three years Yes And then you get sent down And then you get to be IO Yeah well if you're good in heaven, you pick and you get, then God lets you pick a body.

And if you're bad, then God picks the body for you. If your behavior in heaven. Exactly. Yes. Exactly. A lot of people don't read the Bible. And is your theory that Jeffrey Jordan, or sorry, James Jordan was good or bad. That he was bad.

He was bad. And so God picked you. God picked your body. James Jordan was naughty in heaven. So the real question Michael Jordan is asking is, do I approve of esports? Yes. And will I be convinced that it's real?

At least do you think, are you able to be convinced? How can he convince you that esports is a real job? Are you making that, I want to see that dough, and I want to see them benefits. Okay. Esports, as soon as esports comes with a decent benefits package. Benefits package. Yes. Dental.

Dental. I want my son to have dental. Dental. I want my son to have dental. I want him to be able to have provisions for a spouse in case they are sick. And I want them to have full coverage in case they're vaping too hard and their vape breaks and they have to suck all the steam out of the iron. And they get whole lung. And they get porous lung. They get whole long.

And they get porous long. Now, yeah, I think really what you're saying is that you convince your dad esports is a real job the same way you convince anyone anything is a real job, which is secure the bag. I have a question for Bosh. Bosh, does Tony know your name? My boss does not know my name. She calls me a different, similar name, and I've worked for her for a year. On a rare day, she knows my name. Bosh, what should I do?

She's very rich. Thank you. Please visit Milwaukee. We have a basketball team. Also, I have a professor whose name is Sean Hayes. Can you believe? I think of you every time. From Deanna.

Wait, every time what? You think of... But she's talking to Bosch first. Yeah. So she thinks of Bosch every time. And also you have a professor and a boss. What kind of school is this? This is nuts.

Um, I guess I like the assumption that also you are Bosch's boss. No, Bosch. So he actually did your research. Yeah. Is it an assumption that also you are Bosh's boss? No. No, Bosh. He actually did your research. Yeah. Bosh has a boss. There's a cat, a feral cat named Tony who lives in my backyard who Bosh does work for. Okay.

And here's all this. We can let him answer for himself. And I'm apologizing because I messed up on that one. We have a whole mythology with this show. And that is basically it at this point. Hi, hi, hi, hi. It's me, Bosh. Oh, my God, Bosh.

How's it going, dude? Oh, so good. Are you going to answer this question? Sure, yeah. I believe that Tony does know my name, but he thinks my name is You're Late. Hey, you're late hey you're late get to work i mean that's how he talks to my ass now how can you get them to learn your name same way i get everyone to learn mine do a funny joke now boss you have a joke that you've been doing lately that you think is very funny oh i haven't heard it yeah so you know the drake song going bad uh yeah yeah so

do you know this sort of like chorus of that song well has it how's it go how's it go well so the one part that for i have a joke for would it help if someone else did it or if even it were played yeah so okay yeah maybe play like part of it. Sam's not exactly springing to action, so I guess I'll do it. Well, maybe you don't have to pay for it. You know, I'm from Milwaukee. Oh, he was salty that nobody said that. Oh, right.

Frickin' Brewers. So the song is actually Meek Mill. Oh, yeah, but Drake's the one who's talking At the part that I'm thinking of About how far in is it It's a little bit in Happens a couple times Okay

This is him He's got more slaps than the Beatles Okay That's lethal Yup Don Corleone Yup He's got more slaps than The Beatles. Okay. That's lethal. Yup. Don Corleone. Yup.

It's not lonely at the top. Okay. They act like no. Hang on. Not yet. It's not there yet. Okay. Of chicken nuggets Hang on Keep going

Oh wait go back The dog part Oh it's not the dog part Here you go Of chicken nuggets That's it So every time That Drake Every time Drake says ten piece

Bosh likes to turn to everyone and go Of chicken nuggets That's sick That's so That's That's fucking sick That's like Just a ten piece dog of chicken nuggets.

I just want to, what sick do you mean? Like the cool one. Awesome. That's fucking sick. Good. Just a little 10 piece dog of chicken nuggets. Right? If you just look at classic joke structure.

Let's break down why this works. If you just look at classic joke structure. I'm using all of Topledge Top's. Jeffrey Dahmer was in Milwaukee. Hey boys, quick question. I'm quickly approaching my 28 year anniversary on this earth and I'm kind of freaking out about it. I mean, I'm still

a stud and all, but I'm starting to feel slash look like a dad. How did you guys deal with the decline of your best years? Thanks. Nick. P.S. Please come back to Portland. I waited too long to buy tickets last time and it sold out. That's on you. Just as a whole answer.

So we have to That's on you. We have to figure out who this person is the reincarnation of. Yep. So quickly approaching 28 years, which means reincarnated in. Whoever died 31 years ago. 31 years ago.

Yes, exactly. And so that's taking us back to 1991 was the reincarnation but then back to 1988 uh-huh uh so who famously died in 1988 um i don't know i'm thinking gorb Gore Vidal I really don't think so This is what I'm feeling But I could be wrong when I feel like I'm right Okay well we can check IMDB Gore Vidal was an actor

There's Anne Ramsey From Throw Mama from the Train Definitely could be the reincarnation of Anne Ramsey from Throw Mama from the Train. Definitely could be the reincarnation of Anne Ramsey. Could be the reincarnation of... Oh, and does it have a friend? That's what Anne Ramsey said. Reincarnation of Roy Orbison. Roy Orbison.

Okay. So now we're getting a very easy Biopic to do This Jean-Michel Basquiat Just You barely even have to Change the poster For Ray

It's pretty much Exactly the same Oh yeah It's pretty much the same That's right And it's also like brave It's like brave If he

Put a circular sticker Over the A And you're done And just like Wherever the movie needs a Needs a no Then you're in Yes

Because that movie has a lot of text There's a lot of text People don't remember Roy Orbison Yeah rude Because the guy was blind Exactly It's rude to do a movie

There is so much text on the screen It was never about respecting him I am And that is Happens to be the tea What's happening in the question now? What question were we answering? He's like how did you deal with the decline of your best years?

If they're starting at 28 Do you want me to take this one? How we dealt with it? Yeah Sick So I remember When you guys were really starting to like go down yeah like really because i was because that because i was like so young and i remember watching that and

like being like oh this is the moment this is like the moment that has like is shaping me and sort of like my personality and so i say backwards hats, one. Find glasses. It doesn't matter which one it is, but that's your pair. Stick to it. Get some Heelys. Heely around everywhere. And make sure people know that you're Heelying. Heely to work, from work.

Heelys. Sketch. Get a rope. Sketch with the Heelys. Lasso the car. I'm sketching with the Heelys. Lasso the car. I'm skitching with the Heelys, dog. Dear Sean and Hayden. I've got more slaps than the

Beatles. I'm skitching with the Heelys, dog. Just a little tan piece. We met on the forums two and a half years ago and have been dating ever since. Do you think this is dumb? Yeah. What the fuck? Love Sadie and Lane. Show me the

pic. There's a pic. Stop at this. Let me go click it. Stop telling me this. He's gotta go in the other room to click it. What should we talk about when he's done? This is the pic to click. We have to talk about Sam fast. So Sam

every time I see him he sort of reveals a new tattoo with his clothes. He's very selective about what skin patch he's going to be really showing. He was wearing a keyhole shirt last week. Holy cow! These two. Whoa. Wow.

They're in love. She's got great makeup. She's serving. She's absolutely serving tea. And's serving. She's absolutely serving tea. And here's a picture of them and where's the picture of the proof? This picture is sending me. Stop this. Is it giving you life?

Yeah. They have a picture of... I'm screaming. Oh my god! What? No way! This is cursed. Their two intersecting interests are Joanna Newsom and Hollywood Handbook. Okay, so someone wrote on the forums in 2017, so this was long after I stopped. I was right when I was bored.

Imagine the arguments over whether they should put on a Hollywood, like, a triumphant Comic-Con or peach plum pear when they get in the car. Let's just play both at the same time. I have to read it. One of them, I assume the guy, yes, the guy,

writes, also, you like Joanna Newsom and Hollywood Handbook too? Damn, my two favorite things. Have often wondered if anyone else on Earth

shared these intersecting interests. Lol. Oh, wait, no. She wrote that. She said that. And then he said, yeah, literally my two fave things too. Will you marry me? And she said, wait, no, she wrote that. She said that. And then he said, yeah, literally my two fave things too.

Will you marry me? And she said... And she said TBH, yeah. Now what's that? Walker, Louisiana is where he is. Where was she? Um... I don't know. This is some of the wildest shit. And they were like reacting to it. They were like

liking it badly. Can you move down a little bit? Sam, I want to see if her location is. They hearted her. Oh, no, it's not. What? That's all we have. Wow. This is.

Oh, my God. So TBH stands for topical botulism, honey. And y'all is like y'all's. Oh. Without the S, pretty much. Topical. Yeah. Like it S, pretty much. Topical. Yeah. Like, you botulinum toxin.

Mm-hmm. And instead of, like, if you don't like needles. Exactly. Just smear it on. Just smear it all over you. This guy kind of looks like the stud Randy from Real World San Diego. Yes. Oh, my God.

Is that Randy from Real World San Diego? Wow, they're, like, they're cool. They're, like, cool and nice. It is, like from Real World? Wow, they're like, they're cool. They're like cool. It is like, they're like cool, like young. He also sort of looks like the stud Cam that was working in the animation department when we were at Alec Gregory and would swing through and was like I think sleeping with the assistants on the

show. Yes. Can I say that? I think enough time has passed. Wow, that is so crazy. I love you? I don't know. Is that what I'm supposed to say?

I've said that to the fan? Yeah, you have to. I guess I do have to say that. One of you is going to have to officiate their wedding, though, because you said that. You know that, right? I'd do that. I got an

envelope what do i say okay hey boys and chef kevin i'm a graduate student in sociology if you went back to school what would you study from henry the female brain hi sean and haze have there been episodes where you left the recording knowing that you crushed it? Yeah. If so, what were they? All of them. Best, Nora. And I would love to be able to say, and you know what? I'm actually getting that feeling right now. But I don't know if we have done enough time

until I left the recording. But like... Oh, you just like dropped it like that? I would love to just be like, I'm sort of getting some kind of feeling right now that I crushed it. And it's time to say bye, but I don't know if we've done enough time. And so, Sam, but this

is me asking you. If you've done enough time contractually? Yes. I'd say about five more minutes. Okay, you gotta have that one read last or something, because that's hot. Right? Do we double back to it? Hold on, let me find the hottest one. That feels like your rapper ad-lib.

Like at the top, when the beat's still coming in, you're like, hmm, turn up the mic. It feels some kind of way. This beat's got me feeling some kind of way. Okay. So we'll come back to that one. Yeah, that'll be nice. You're just scrolling all the way through this?

Yeah, I want to find a good one. Guys, my girlfriend wants to loosen my hips. Oh boy. How do I do that safely without hurting myself? We have a waterbed. From Devin. That's correct. That's from Devin? Wow.

My girlfriend wants me to loosen my hips. Well, I mean like you gotta you gotta take a wrench. Take a wrench? You gotta take a wrench. You gotta take a wrench? Gotta get it in there with a wrench.

Loosen that. Loosen that ish. You gotta jam the wrench right into this. You gotta slide under there on the rolly board and say, all right, let's take a look at these hips. You're gonna want to lie down on a hammock, then get your buddy to lie down on a couple skateboards, roll under you with a wrench.

Take a good long look. Take a nice long look. Just loosen up all the gears. I like to do yoga. The waterbed part really unsettling. Because it's not rippling around It's very tough to settle

If that's not gonna loosen your Gentlemen If all the Earwolf employees, hosts included Had a fight to the death Who would be the last person standing? From Jake Okay Didn't we do this?

Oh it's the guy from Turbo Start It's Jake from Turbo Start It's sad that I know who all these people are Almost Except for the couple that's like In love Because of you guys Because they don't interact with us very much

Because they have someone Sort of the worst thing that can happen to our fans is that they find fulfillment in some other area of their life. It's humiliating. Honestly, thank you for skipping the one Sam where someone asks if I ever dreamed I'd be hosting three or four different podcasts at the same time. I am very happy to not be answering that question.

I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. What should I get? And that one is unsigned. What's the one, what's some of the ones, what would you say, Sam, is your... What's your best tattoo? Yeah, your most like freak carnival. Ooh, I have a cowboy boot that says Spur of the Moment.

Okay. And then a Frankenstein holding balloons that says Pop Punk Never Dies. They all say stuff. Yeah, they're all awful. I have an idea for one, and it's a little cartoon. I have an idea for one, and it's a little cartoon. You get a tattoo of like a waning crescent, and then beneath is a tattoo of a man, sort of like a professorial-looking man standing with a younger woman,

and he's pointing up, and he says, Look, honey, a full moon. What is a waning crescent and what is provisorial? Provisorial means the man looks like he's trying to appear intelligent, I guess. His little glasses and stuff. Yes, little glasses.

What about this? The guy could look just like David Wayne. He could look like David Wayne and he's saying, look, honey, a full moon, but he's pointing at what is very clearly just a sliver of moon. Um, I have an idea for one. I'll get that. I have an idea for one.

It's, it's it. It's, it's it. Okay. The ice cream? No, it's it. The clown. It's not Pennywise. That's a regional ice cream. It's not Pennywise. It's it. The clown. It's it. It's actual it. And it's, and it's like, what, It's It the Clown. It's actual It. What's your favorite letter?

The Scarlet one? Letter from a Birmingham jail. It's Letter from a Birmingham jail. It is coming out of the letter and splitting it. His face is nasty. It goes, Let her rip. That's really good.

You know my favorite letter. Let her go by passenger. Cursed. Prison. Prison for you. Only miss the road when you're coming home. She didn't want to hit him. Wanted to shame. Wanted to do his hidden things. Coming home. She had a hand of one of them.

One and a two. She had a hand of things. She had a hand of things. Coming with a ten-piece dog. Of chicken nuggets. Of chicken nuggets. I heard, so one time I heard on one of the radio stations, this guy comes on the radio and he goes, Hey, this is Ian from Passenger.

So this is a song we wrote kind of about not appreciating what you have until it's gone. Wow, I didn't get that. It's the most on the nose. Only know you'll love her when you let her go. What the heck? I thought that song was about doing Molly in the club What the heck is that about? I thought it was about chicken nuggets The thing that for some reason I always will remember

From hearing on the radio is Minnie Driver was like guest hosting on KCRW or something. And she was talking about some song, like a Michael Franti and Spearhead song or something. And she goes, I adore this song unreservedly. Okay, Sam. Okay. And there might be kind of like an interesting question to ask right now. Maybe up a little higher.

Did you lose it? Lose what? The question. Oh, my God. Would you ever consider doing a live show in Vegas? No, not this one. What are you asking me right now? When Chris Gethard says to lose

well, he's not talking about the question, okay? Come on, Sam! What are you asking me right now? You were supposed to go back to the question! There's one up above this, I think, that has a question that is setting Hayes up. When I say above... Okay, keep going. Alright, keep going. Oh, that's a funny one is setting Hayes up. When I say above.

Okay, keep going. All right, keep going. Oh, that's a funny one. Wait, scroll down. This one? This one? Yes. Sam, can you, the extremely for non-blonde, are you able to perform that one?

I don't know who that is. Okay, I'll do it. So this question is extremely for non-blonde's voice. I said Hayes. what's going on? Okay, I'm going to try it. Okay. I said, Hayes, what's going on? Those are both good. They're both good.

I can like... You can try? Yeah. Okay. I said, Hayes, what's going on? That's how they would perform it today. And I said, Hayes, Hayes, I said, Hayes, what's going on? Have you found the question yet, Sam?

It was like, have you ever felt like you crushed? Search crushed. Control F crushed. No, it was up, right? It was up. It was up. It was up. Are you sure it's up?

Oh. Oh, wait. Was it gentlemen? Just search crushed. There we go. I see it. Okay. Yeah.

Read this. Yeah. Oh, my God. Okay, yeah, read this. Yeah. Oh, my God. Hi, Sean and Hayes. Have there been episodes where you left the recording knowing that you crushed it? If so, what were they? This one. Best, Nora.

Wait, read the P.S. P.S., Sean, I was running the Uncle Drew Twitter account when it responded to you. Thank you. I'm starting to feel in kind of some way in my guts. Thank you. And it makes me want to say bye. Yes. I'll do a handbook. The pro version.