Hollywood Handbook - The Scoop Troop, Our Fundraising Friends

Episode Date: June 16, 2020

The Boys do a call in episode with listeners who donated to The Scoop Troop's GoFundMe for Black Lives Matter, Reclaim the Block, NAACP Legal Defense and Education Fund, Color of Change, and The Okra Project.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. to talk about my previous experience with um information security and uh passwords of course thank you for sharing this so i for many you know i've like sort of gotten into crypto uh bitcoin absolutely yes no uh you you talk about this a lot yes and not just bitcoin haze others as well uh there's every different kind of coin uh there's of course kevin coin uh which is um honestly tanking and taking the rest of the economy with it i like to say it's dripping which is the same direction as tank it is dripping it's dripping blood from essentially being double tapped economic in economic terms anyway it's crypto and crypto you know i like expanded on like my research on this and you can actually use it for a lot of stuff where like if

you were in terms of like password management is a great example like you use like a network of servers that are constantly operating and coming up with random passwords to be like

constantly regenerated so it's totally impossible to ever figure out what someone's password is uh and after like doing a lot of research in this i decided to explore it myself and uh to that end i made that password i i made my password pays bitcoin I made my password HayesBitcoin. Right. Which, unfortunately, was also the password that protected all of your Bitcoin.

Exactly. And so the problem with that was I put it in a very especially hackable, exposed account on a computer that was facing out my window which in retrospect was a mistake why why even have it yeah well so i can be outside but the computer is not outside because it gets too hot no i know but looking back it's like why even have it like that well i just said but uh but then so of course the a passing hacker saw my screen that says my password is haze bitcoin he must have wondered why you had it like that that's possible he hadn't just been told so it's very possible anyway yes it was my password

to protect my bitcoin and I did lose every single one of my cryptos stick around later in the show to hear how Dashlane has helped us out yes we are doing another one Hollywood Handbook hey everyone last week the scoop troops started a GoFundMe to raise money

for Black Lives Matter the NAACP Legal Defense and Education Fund, Color of Change, Reclaim the Block, and the Okra Project. Their initial goal was to raise $1,000, but as of this recording, they're currently at $66,000. So because of this extremely generous donation, Sean and Hayes wanted to do a call-in episode with the fans who helped fundraise all of that money. The Scoop Troop also created a fan-made version of the theme song, which is how we're going to start the episode. Again, we just wanted to say thank you to everyone who donated.

We really appreciate it, and enjoy the episode. Welcome, host. You are now in the host room and can manage your callers from the Call-In Studio web interface. So recording is on dual channel. Small, small, small Paid for Hayes and Sean Whoa, whoa Hollywood Handbook

Pro version It's nice. It is nice. It's nice? I've tried it. It is plagiarism. It is against the law. I think that goes without saying. It is a criminal act. It is against the law. I think that goes without saying.

It is a criminal act. Of course it's illegal. Of course only a criminal would be able to make it. Certainly even us playing it has exposed us to legal action from ourselves. Enormous liability. It is something that only the mind of a thief could even devise but it is nice so the fans made that is that what happened kevin i'm speaking to you what you think i'm talking to sean kevin's muted can you explain that he would be muted before we started yes hey

guys chef kevin here uh yes the scoop troop made. They all got together and chipped in a little. And that's all of them? That's every member of the Scoop Troop. The entire Scoop Troop. Do you know why they call it a cover song, Kevin? There's a difference between a cover and a tribute. Do you know why they call it a cover song, Kevin? I used to, and then something happened.

They call it a cover song because it obscures the original song. Oh. Because it covers over the artist's work and makes it harder to discover so when someone covers a song what they're saying is nobody look at the real song this is mine now and that is why it is so illegal and that is why the supreme court actually is going to be kicking the shit out of the scoop troop oh no they will be kicking the entire scoop troops ass all the way up and down main street and anyone who lives on main street dribbling them and passing them to each other and they can just look out the window and see the notorious rbg and all of her buddies just dunking the scoop troop wrapped up into a big ball through a giant hoop that someone put out on the street also illegally that person's in

trouble too talk about the freaking supreme basketball court yeah yeah no there's a reason that it's called a court so this is a call-in show i would like to take this opportunity to explain the rules the callers will be organized in a queue when you are in the queue announce your position in the queue is like say your number in order so we'll be so we'll be able to tell like what or how to organize what people are in form teams based on the theme of your question we encourage alliances we obviously don't want to hear the same question from five or six different people so if you have a question that is even similar, even share some of the same words as another member of the queue, go ahead, group up,

and you guys can come in together or assign a leader to speak for you, and we will deal with you in that fashion. If we hear the same question twice in a row, we will end the episode and you will be sent to the Supreme Court where they will dunk your ass and friggin drown you in gatorade this is of course in response to the scoop troop putting together a fundraiser that ended up raising a huge amount of money uh which i think we all assumed was designed to essentially purchase in an auction format the opportunity to do a call-in show. Kevin, you tell me that is not what it was for. No, it turns out they were fundraising for different organizations, but it did kind of turn into that. So I guess everybody wins.

Different organizations. And how much was left over after they did make their contributions? organizations but it did kind of turn into that so i guess everybody wins different organizations how much was left over after they did make their contributions and how do we uh access that yeah i think there's like uh we wanted to raise like a hundred bucks and so i guess we could try to split it up from there the remainder everything that they got kevin you are so off your game today i understand why you wanted to be on mute do you i was trying to do other things that you couldn't answer why they call it a cover song and you went into some tribute thing answering a completely different question then you said something happened to you that made you forget yeah then you bring it you said we wanted to raise i made you forget yeah then you don't bring it you said

we wanted to raise i think a hundred bucks when actually the real goal of a thousand dollars wound up being comically low we didn't need to exaggerate that and make it a hundred right that was the joke because they raised so much more than that but what he's saying is you took the reality which was already very impressive and slightly tweaked it to turn it into a joke they wanted to raise a thousand dollars we ended up raising 69 000 nice half of 138 and then and and so there was 68 left over so once after they contributed the $1,000, how do we split up the other 68, which of course would be illegal to donate

because it was over the goal? Kevin's blasted. Kevin is crushingly hungover. I'm on another level right now. Too many quarantinis last night. One too many quarantines last night one too many quarantines did you hear what i said sean no hit me i said kevin is william hung over okay that is sweet she banged she banged remember don't do don. Don't do the voice. Is that a cover? Kevin is HBO's Hungover, starring Thomas Jane.

Kevin is the movie Hung Over the Hedge. Over the Hedge. I like it. It was the third one. Well, you've been infected by Kevin as well. Well, it was the third one okay i mean he's well you've been infected by kevin as well that i well i did the first one i step up my game when kevin's on his game i step up and come over the top when kevin is this fucked up i had to do some warm-ups i dragged myself down to the level of my competition and it is a competition i'm'm in the Bradley Cooper movie, The Hungover.

That's what it is named after. It's the same idea. We really should get to these calls. All right, Engineer Devin is here to further explain the rules. Go ahead, Engineer Devin. Well, so, I mean, we're going to pick people. They're going to say the number. Maybe ahead, Engineer Devin. We're going to pick people. They're going to say the number. Maybe explain to the first caller. Maybe bring the caller on

and then we can explain the rules to that caller. That caller can be an emissary to the other callers for how this is going to work. Let's bring them on. Hello, caller. Hello. Hello.

Who is this? This is Reed Andrewrews the organizer of this fundraiser reed andrews i've heard of reed books but reed andrews weird right reed andrews organized the fundraiser congratulations reed You did a great job. It must have been scary to see it go up so high. And I know that your original plan for absconding with the money would have to be revised because it just became too much. Is that right? it just became too much. Is that right? Yes. I am now a little bit too financially liable. I think people would start to notice if I follow through on jumping over to Canada. Would you say that Hayes and I exposed you by sharing it on our feed and saying, look at this scoundrel who is trying to use the good name of our podcast in order to line his own pockets? And then at at that point you were in

the spotlight it's almost like uh the film the producers isn't it well in a way you guys are heroes i believe i mean i thought you were doing that intentionally to stop me yes it was and we did destroy you we did uh and we did expose you um but now you get to be a hero as well congratulations reed reed where are you where are you from where is this call coming from uh smack dab in the middle of illinois around the peoria area boy one day one day reed's gonna get out of this this podunk town how many horses in that town just the one it's only a one horse town that is correct just Bojack

Bojack horse man lives there just Bojack he's hanging out man that's a small town Bozak the horse man yeah we frequent the same bar frequent is right. Reid, talk about the new friends you've made as part of this process.

And also, Devin, make sure to explain the rules to Reid eventually, because he is, of course, the emissary for the rest of the queue. But talk about your new friends. My new friends are a colorful collection of people. They were very excited for this call-in show until just before it started, you guys mentioned maybe have a question or something ready, and I think that's just too much to ask.

Did not say have a question ready. We said if you do have a question, organize yourselves into teams. Yep. Gotcha. Sorry. And so one team would be the no question team. Yeah, it sounds like it's a pretty big team. Devin will put them all through at once.

They will just kind of hang there on the line. Just breathe through their mouth into the phone. And we'll kind of pick up that sound and then we will as always be left to fill the dead air devon can you explain the rules to read please uh if there is no question uh all of your responses must contain a rhyme of some sort this is devon's sick thing as if you don't if you have a question you can just ask the question i'm not going to obviously impose that the question itself rhyme that's crazy i'm sorry reed this is like a porno thing for devin it's like a and i andish and it's disgusting and i do not want to feed into his sick disturbed

uh you know various uh bedroom picadillos you know how um like cat woman the michelle pfeiffer cat woman and the original cat woman in general was kind of based off of like fetish culture. Devin has like a similar thing for Jim Carrey's The Riddler. Well, let me feed into your fetish a little bit, Devin. I actually have a question for Kevin. Oh, for Kevin. And that was a rhyme.

Yeah, that was great. That was a rhyme for you. No, it was phenomenal. Oh, the look on his face podcast the so affectionately referred to scoop troop were able to get more dollars for this fundraiser in a week than uh the show was able to amass over likely a lifetime um speak on that please what do you mean that the show was able to amass like ad sales and stuff sure maybe i don't understand how to use that word i guess so let me teach you a little bit about the economics of podcasting as someone who's been uh

doing this for a minute. We pull in unbelievable Buku bucks and have from the very beginning with ad sales of how many ads have we done for this show? Kevin.

It's in the thousands. Do you want a reality? Yes, at least a thousand. At least a thousand. At least a thousand. For, have you ever heard of the concept of $75 each? Sure. So if we could just do the math for a minute.

No, no, no, Reed, don't just say yes. I have. Have you heard of this? I have heard of this specifically, yes. Oh, you have. Oh, that's lucky. I have heard of this specifically yes this is a lot of oh that's lucky then maybe you can do the rest of the math for me and realize that in the six years that we've done the show

we've actually out earned your little fundraiser which was three or four days by almost six thousand dollars obviously we have to pay the ad sales team like that. You know, that's not cheap. It's a whole group of people.

But you said dollars amassed. I mean, you're talking gross. The amassed, yeah. Because some of the, yeah, even some of the money you raised, there's a percentage that goes to the platform. Platform, yeah. Yeah, so...

Kevin, can you go off video while you are animatedly speaking to the people silently i'm smiling at you guys and no but can you go but can you go off video and can you make your name disappear as well from the little box there you go so. So, Reed, really great try at raising more money than we have, but do come talk to us when you've raised $6,001 more.

I'm sure if the fundraiser keeps going for another week, we will accomplish that. Okay, well, we will have raised... Keep in mind that we will probably have raised an additional... $75. Yeah, $75 to $150. we will have raised keep in mind that we will probably have raised an additional 75 bucks yeah 75 to 150 dollars at that point so a week from now the uh the goal will have stretched that much

farther so please come talk to me when you've raised 6 150 dollars at that point certainly will any other rules for for reed well there's got to be some sort of sign off there has to be some sort of sign off for the uh yeah just so we know here's a little freedom for Read them! Read them! Hey, come here. Get off of that thing. So we... Whoa! Read them! So you get to do something creative and cool, which is at least you get to take a crack at.

We obviously reserve the right to veto it. Devising the sign-off that all callers will use for the rest of the episode so go ahead and pitch what do you think should be the funny and cool and efficient sign-off that everyone else uses when they end their call but sweet and like heart you know this is like a nice episode so like yeah and it should be sort of clever and like sort of like goofy and yeah but also it should feel like adult right when in doubt

whip them out okay we can and we don't have to get it the first so happy I reserved the right to veto we can go back and forth on a little bit and I guess it's like you know whip your wallets out for the fundraiser that's kind of an that's nice sure but uh i think we can improve on that a little bit that is a rhyme and i like that that was for devon and i appreciate that thank you for Devin and I appreciate that thank you

maybe it's like when maybe I can't improve on this do you have any notes Sean do you have any notes what was happening outside Sean just went

to close his window my yeah my wife is playing with my baby in the yard and the yard is of course outside the window and i'm broadcasting i close yes i closed the window as hard as i could and then i made a face and the listeners won't be able to see this face but maybe hayes can describe it and i went like yeah it was like it's really hard to describe but it was it's the what the face says is I'm recording

my flagship podcast okay do you have any notes on read sign off what was it still the same one it's still the same yeah i'm having trouble like i'm thinking like nibbling around the edges of it but there's something at the core of it that does not work yeah i would i to me it is a page one rewrite yeah uh i would i would start over from scratch do you want to try again reed sure um we could go with a standard i love you and i'm

in love with you okay i like that it's from the show yeah it is once again plagiarism uh which we've already established as illegal and that's merch so uh that is something that has been licensed copyright uh by citra premium so maybe but we can tweak it a little bit and do it as kind of like a sound alike which is a saying that is like if you come for our merch you might get murked and i and it's not literal obviously but figuratively you would get murked because the supreme court would kick down your door and the notorious rpg will will turn you into a basketball and bounce you around the damn street main street that is so um yeah if you want to do a sound like i hug you and i'm in hug with you yeah i hug you and i'm in hug with you. Yeah. I hug you and I'm in hug with you. And I love being with you today.

It's good. That's wonderful. Yeah. That's really nice. I hug you. Yeah. I hug you. Do the whole thing.

Yeah. Give us the whole thing so we can hear it. Yeah. I hug you and I'm in hug with you. And I love being with you here today. And we all give each other a hug. Big video hug. Reed, give us a hug, Reed.

Come on, Reed. It doesn't sound like you're hugging anybody. I'm hugging my phone so tight. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it. If you're really hugging tight, you make a little noise like this, and I'll do it again. Reed. I'm trying. My beard, I'm scraping it on the microphone.

No, Reed. No one asked for that. That's not necessary for the hug. The hug makes a little noise like this. How are you going to give hugs? And I'll give you one more try, and do open your ears and close your mouth on this one. Hey,

that is a nice hug and I hug you and I'm in hug with you and I love being here with you today. Reed. That's the nicest thing I've ever. Okay. Thank you. Reed. Thank you today, Reed. That's the nicest thing I've ever heard. Okay. Thank you, Reed. Thank you. Bye, guys.

Bye. Who's next? Can we see who's coming, Devin? I can message you. What? Why don't you message me with your dang mouth? This Pandora's box. Okay.

Well, next is Anna, who helped social media posts for GoFundMe. Let's bring in Anna. Anna. Hi, guys. The poster's queen. Anna Banana. I'm sorry. Yeah.

I'm sorry, Catfish Hugh Hayes. You called me Tony when you DM'd me. And it's because your name was Tony online, correct? Yes. It was my worst nightmare. Tony the Tingler? I'm Tony the Tingler. Yeah.

The one and only. I don't deserve the Tony moniker, though. And actually, I think the only solution going forward for you to un-catfish me is that your name is Tony. And it was always Tony and that is what you will be referred to today. Tony, talk about creating the perfect post. Well,

you first have to get a thesaurus because you can't use regular words. You have to, you first have to get a thesaurus because you can't use regular words. You have to, you know, I don't know. You got to make it sparkle, you know? Yes. Words are the mouth's paintings. And that is really true.

And the tongue is the brush, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it is. And the saliva is the paint. The saliva is the paint. The is the paint the lips are the frame yeah and the canvas is a friendly ear tony where are you i'm in my you mean like geographically located i'm in my living room can we back up i i called i'm sorry i called you uh and this was maybe rude i called you anna banana when you first got on the line i would

like devin if you could punch in tony baloney is your name there it is got it thank you tony baloney are you any relation to bosh's boss I didn't want to mention it, but I guess I'm forced. I guess you forced my hand, given that I mean, I am Tony now. That's right. I am just as powerful, but way less hairy than the

Tony that is Bosch's boss. So you didn't catfish haze, you actually just cat haze. Oh, I guess I don't have to feel bad then. Yeah. So you are Tony, you are a cat, you are Bosh's boss. Can you talk about how important hard hats are around the work site? Yeah, we're trying to avoid concussions as much as possible.

Thank you. Who's Chuckles over here? What's this Chuckles I keep hearing? Oh, I had to get? I had to get a... Well, okay. You forwarded a team? Funny story. So it wouldn't let me call in,

so I had a friend get in for me, and he is also on the line. It wouldn't let me call in, so I had a friend get in for me. I'm going to regret trying to untangle this one. What was it? Why wouldn't it let you? Who's the friend?

The number, I guess, got overloaded. And it wouldn't let me call even though I'm apparently a VIP. I get that message. I get it all the time. You call somebody and say,

this number is overloaded. Do you have any friends? Please call a friend. This number is overloaded. It won't let you in. Do you have a big friend? Who's your friend? I did have a big friend who's your friend i did have a big friend and then carlton carlton you want to say something carl tony yeah yeah this is carlton and you work at the job site uh yeah yeah i am employed and tony is your boss yeah yes talk about permitting and city contracts

uh well it's important to obtain contract before you begin work uh on your you know i think you're reversing it i think it's important to obtain a permit. Yeah, I'm not really on the paperwork side of things. Oh, okay. Sorry. My misunderstanding. You're the hammer maker. Well, no.

I'm more of a hammer flinger. Oh, wow. I guess if mine breaks. He flings it. You watch him fling a hammer and it sticks into the tree. With the blunt end, the hammer, the blunt part.

Right into the tree. This guy's strong as hell. He's very good at his job. That's why I keep him employed. Anna, you didn't say what, we want to know this town.

Who's Anna? Tony's on the phone. Tony, sorry. Yeah, who's... Well, it's a little bit your fault too. I'm, I'm in Koreatown right now. A nice locale for you guys.

That is a nice locale. Mm guys that is a nice locale and uh what's up with the and is your friend there as well uh carlton isn't with me physically but he is with me emotionally as far as holding my hand through all of this he's in atlanta right he's in atlanta you've got to route so very often you do have to route the phone calls through atlanta georgia the busiest airport in the world and and it's no different with phones i mean phones are basically just a flight that your mouth takes when you're about to paint a canvas of a friendly ear with your words, using your tongue paintbrush, your saliva paint and framing it between your lips. So I understand why you had to call Atlanta to get to us in L.A., even though you're actually physically so much closer to the two of us. though you're actually physically so much closer to the two of us and are you stopping at all at the little gas station that turned into a coffee shop that you is like now a drive-through coffee

shop and you pull up and go bing bing and then you go uh one uh latte please one oats with raisins please are you stopping there um i don't have a car but i've always wanted to go i don't think they are you walking through they'll let you and if you got a dog they'll give your dog a little biscuit it's also true yeah go ahead and do that and then call back okay and we'll hear from you at the end of the show tony and do you want to say your sign offoff, Carlton and Tony? Do you want to hit us with that? You both say it. Do I have to say what we said?

If you think you can beat Reed, you can get one pitch at it, but we actually helped him write it, and I think it's going to be tough to top. Oh, I meant the whatever he said before you guys punched it up.

No, the punched up version is the final version. you guys, you know, punched it up. No, no, no. The punched up version is the final version. That one. Yeah, that one's over. Carl, can you take a shot at saying this in unison? Yeah, sure. Let's do it. Okay.

I hug you. I'm in hug with you. And I am in hug with you. No, and I love being with you today. And i love being here with you yeah with you here today i love being with you here today yeah wow well you want to do it again you know spoken word is your medium not mine okay and how does it end do you remember posting and how does it end uh and i hug being with you here with you today but we have to we have to all give each other a hug okay and a big hug a little pat okay thank you all right shall we talk to katherine sure good call good to talk to tony

definitely nice catching up with tony and carl tony i i didn't mind carl tony being on there but what was he doing it sounded like he was constructing something in the background well it's his job he's constructing a hammer no i mean i can see him out my window be nice if they could down tools just for the duration of the call are you gonna pay for it it's a good point you're gonna pay for those hours it's a good point let's talk to katherine hello hello hi sean hi What up? What up? Catherine, what you sipping on? I'm sipping on water from the Hollywood Handbook Camelback bottle. The Camelback bottle has revolutionized so many lives.

It really has. I've had about three people ask me about what the Hollywood Handbook is all about, and I've failed to get them on as fans. I apologize. Well, you've done no worse than us. When we talk about doing good, lots of people, you know, we've been talking about how to do good in the world.

And I think one of our lasting legacies is this indestructible bottle that I think you can say katherine that it actually has done a pretty good job holding your water inside it is that correct it's done an excellent job of containing my water i like putting it in the refrigerator at work and it fits pretty well in there doesn't it it really fits well fits well. It was a great buy. Please don't interrupt me. And Catherine, it can be pretty satisfying to chomp on the water while you're drinking it,

which is what the Camelback technology allows for, isn't it? You bite the water. Yeah, you bite the water. I do like to chew when I drink water. I do like the chewing aspect. Have you ever seen a dog when you are shooting a hose at a dog and it's chomping trying to bite the water and doesn't that look fun and isn't that what the camelback allows that does look a lot like a lot of fun and that is what the camelback allows

may i apologize for interrupting i was one i'd like to apologize for interrupting May I apologize? For interrupting? I was... One, I'd like to apologize for interrupting. Two, I'd like to apologize. And I apologize for interrupting again. I'd like to apologize for committing the crime of assisting with the tribute song that you played at the beginning of the episode. You were one of the singing parts?

I was one of the singing parts. was one of the singing parts which part did you apologize richard gear yeah rent okay small small small whoa hollywood handbook wow those were the parts i that's a lot of it that's a ton of it you are so liable for so much of the damages what would these damages consist of well why don't you watch season one of damages and get back to me because actually it's all uh it's a lot a lot is happening in there okay go ahead and tune into that i just wanted to be upfront and honest should i do that now and then come back on the line you come back on the line but do come back as well after you do watch season one of damages i'll do that katherine did you have any trouble calling in i did not i called a

couple of times and it didn't go through but then then it went through. I did have trouble responding to Kevin when he screened me because I just thought it was part of the episode and I kind of was there quietly saying nothing while he said hello, hello. So that trouble would be on my end and not on Kevin's end. That's actually the right way to do it. You just let him wear himself out a little bit. But if you respond to the first hello,

then you won't like what comes next. But if you just let him... It's a rope-a-dope strategy when you're on the phone with... Yeah, you let him punch himself out. He's exhausted by the time you actually get into conversation and he can't do all his little stuff. Yeah. But I do think we're...

Ultimately, I wonder if it is your phone that is overloading the line because uh my phone yeah the fact that you were able to get in so easily suggests to me that uh that that is what is it like effectively created the system clog you got a big ass phone katherine and it's not you know it's this is not any kind of judgment i'm not saying it's good or bad but the fact that your phone kind of barreled its way in and got on the line so quickly means we're dealing with one big ass phone and it probably is blocking a lot of the other phones out. Oh, dear. From being able to speak on the line. So it's, you know,

and God bless you. I mean, it could have happened to anybody, but when you do call in with, there's no other way to say it, a big-ass phone like this, what you're creating, have you ever corked a bottle? I don't drink well that's the perfect way to not drink me neither me neither but i do cork bottles when you put the bottle in that is the

opposite of drinking when you put the cork in the bottle yeah when you cork it which is what which is what your big ass phone has done to the, is you create all this pressure behind it. And my fear is, of course, we do have to get you off the line at some point so that other callers can get in, that they will rush in with such force that we could get hit in the face with their word paintings because there's so much pressure built up behind your phone. Then maybe you should just let me go very slowly and I'll just ease out. We're going to need to.

There won't be such a rush. We're going to need to fade you out. Yeah, very, very, very slowly. So, Kevin, if we saber you out, we're in trouble. Right. Can we sort of begin the fade fade begin the fade as okay as katherine does her sign off here and katherine can we hear uh the the the sign off that we've designated for today of course i hug you and i'm in hug with you i love being here with you today

that's very nice we do our little hug. Devin, can I hear the hug, please? Nice. Very nice hug. Thank you. Gross. And so ever so carefully we release. How's the fade going?

It's completed. It is completed. Wow. and she is gone okay thank you katherine goodbye hollywood eating better is easy with factors delicious ready to eat meals every fresh never frozen meal is chef crafted dietitian approved ready to go in just two minutes speaking of ready to go in just two minutes chef Speaking of ready to go in just two minutes, Chef Kevin is here with his new show, The Chef Kevin Factor, where he creates fresh, never frozen meals.

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Which is this? It's a little bit of all of them. Okay. Okay, it shouldn't be. There are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long. How many add-ons? And what are some of them? It's one big add-on, and it's you on your bed. You're so tired after you eat my meal.

The promise is the meal makes us sleepy. You've been pushing that so much. You're saying that you will be added on to your bed. To your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long.

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at factormeals.com slash theboys50 to get 50% off. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying to learn and that's body language. Can Babbel teach me body language? Yes. Babbel now has visual, in-person lessons.

Part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages, handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations. What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date

and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them. They're pulling it What does that mean? Does their finger hurt? I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web.

Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates. And I need and have needed something like Babel to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i'm supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as i'm going

that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others. Can't feel good to be others there. Continue to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using Babbel

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Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys, spelled B-A-B-E-L dot com slash the boys. B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L. B-A-B-B-E-L. Dot com slash the boys b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l dot com slash the boys rules and restrictions may apply with babble we can't promise it'll always be easy but you'll always be glad you did it kind of like this podcast except it is easy for me hey guys rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. You can see all your subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, I can cancel it with a tap. I never have to get on the phone with customer service.

The subscriptions are insidious. They're the scourge of our modern life, and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged. life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know i think also by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah

and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing oh they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia

you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocket moneyoney.com slash the boys. That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Rocketmoney.com slash the boys. Hey, guys. Support for today's show comes from Dashlane. Dashlane makes everything you do easier.

Fill out forms fast, remember all your passwords, and keep your online data accessible and safe with this all-in-one app. Dashlane even safely remembers and autofills all your login information so you won't get slowed down by forgotten or misspelled passwords. Sean, do you have any stories about password management that you and today you share a story? Yes. No. I do have, obviously, we all have experiences in this modern world

with cybersecurity. And I'm always trying to make sure my stuff is protected. And one way that I used to sort of protect myself is I would create a password. I would immediately conk myself in the head so that I would forget it. And then I would have it written down on a little piece of paper that I gave to my smartest friend to hang on to so that they could tell it to me if I ever needed an emergency. Unfortunately, that friend

did turn out to actually be a total dumbass who kept his computer pointing out the window and thought that just saying like basically like that's what i felt like doing was enough of an explanation uh that it would make sense and that he didn't owe anyone anything else and that actually it was cool that he did it that way even though everybody knows that of course a hacker walked by and did see him from the sidewalk and did hack his whole ass and uh probably also got the little piece of paper that i had my password written down out of him too because he probably left that sticking out the window because like i don't know why why might he

do that hayes you seem good at coming up with reasons for stuff like this no i mean that's so weird i'm so sorry that happened to your friend uh the the idea of him pointing the computer at the window actually does make a lot of sense uh that aspect of it i i think actually is very smart and i understand why you call him your smartest friend the computer is very hot you cannot in many cases be inside in the same place as the computer. You must have the computer facing out the window, and you are outside, and you are typing through the window screen that you have punched two holes in. So I can't speak to your friend, but what you're describing actually sounds very smart and just an unfortunate sort of fact of our new reality, which is there is no real expectation of personal privacy when it comes to computers. And, you know, if they're facing out the window, which in many cases they have to be, people can walk by and see them unless you are using dash lane and yeah when that's really the point is that dash lane solves the problems for

both of us me for having a friend who is a tremendous dumbass uh and again i'm really sorry about you having a friend like that that's yeah sounds me too and i hate to ever meet that guy can't trust him with my passwords anymore so i don't i can't do it that way so i have to give How about you having a friend like that? That sucks. Sounds awful. Me too. I hate to ever meet that guy. And he can't trust him with my passwords anymore, so I can't do it that way, so I have to give him to Dashline, who I actually do trust. Dashlane, who I do trust, who is good.

My friend's got me so flustered. And it solves your problem, which is, I guess, you have a medical condition where your head is stuffed all the way up your damn ass. Plus, it works across devices, so you can access your accounts no matter what device you're using, computer or phone.

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Can I tell you guys my password? Just clear your throat first before you do anything. Can I tell you guys? It's Kevin Bitcoin, but I replaced the O with an H. Kevin, are you still there? Yes, Addy. Okay, so Kevin went off cam, but I do need you to check in every once in a while in just a normal way, just so I know. Not even that you're there, but just where you are. Okay. I need you off cam, but I can't trust you to be off cam for that long.

Just poke my head in every now and then? Mm-hmm. Just a quick little flash and go, I'm here, and want to see both your hands and that is all. Okay. I'm here. Both my hands are up and I'm leaving. Okay. And who's next? We've got Pete.

And repeat. Right? Hey, Pete. I guess repeat fell off the boat this time, huh? Yeah. Big splash. Big splash from that guy big splash from repeat pete what's your claim to fame why are we dealing with you and not one of the other people in the queue go ahead and earn your place take up that space for me pete taste yourself a little bit you know what i mean oh see yeah no that's no problem um yeah uh the reason you're talking to me today i'm guessing is probably because me and uh tony you talked to

as well as katherine a couple other folks our friend emily our friend uh tansen was there. And also our friend Troy. We were all at your show in San Francisco. And a series of events happened. And we all ended up banded together to make this newest version of the Scoop Troop on Facebook. And we've been moderating that as much as one can. Everything in moderation, am I right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And our friend Reed came up with the idea to donate to,

as Kevin put it, a couple of different organizations, including a couple of Black Lives Matter associated organizations. Weird that Kevin wouldn't say that. Don't you agree? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It was basically Reed's's idea that like hey can we like put together a gun funding and we've been chatting about it in the group chat and um he set the uh target of 1000 and where are we at now we're like 60 66 60... 66? Last time I saw it, it was 66666,

which obviously is very scary. That's the number of Beast. That's Beast's number. It's Beast's number, yeah. That's Beast from X-Men's number. If you dial that, Beast from X-Men will answer the phone. And it is Kelsey

Grammer's voice. Well, I was gonna ask, is it Kelsey Grammer? Yeah, it, I was going to ask, is it Kelsey Grammer? Yeah, it could have been Nicholas Holt, I suppose. But it is Kelsey Grammer in this case. Yeah, not as distinct. It doesn't have as much barrel-aged flavor. I'm savoring your words. Okay, and Pete is painting something delicious.

Pete, let's talk about Reed. Reed is something of a pimp and a boss, correct? Yeah, I know. See, I hear because I was on the line with Kevin for a second there, and I came back and I've been monitoring this group chat and basically everyone said that Reed went full Joker. And I'm not quite sure what he did. What has he done?

What has Reed done to us? Reed is Joker-fied. Unfortunately, yeah. Sounds like it. He's dancing on the steps, the chiming of the bells, one of the most beautiful scenes in all of cinema history. And he's also a pimp and a boss. And even though he is the Joker, he ain't no clown ass.

And I'd like you to speak a little bit about the impact that Reed getting Jokerfied has had on you and the rest of the Scoop Troop. Well, one of the most important things to me about all of this, first, well, let me start with the bottom of the list. It's a two-point list. The second point is that we have to raise money for these organizations because they really need our help right now. these organizations because they really need our help right now. And the first point is that please don't embarrass me. Yeah. And unfortunately, Reed has broken the first rule. Yeah. And I am probably going to have to fall asleep for a day,

perhaps two days, just to get over this embarrassment. Sleep and I broke up, actually. Yeah. No, I broke up, actually. Yeah. No, I'm seeing coffee now. Yeah. You and Cory Booker. Who?

Well, you're both seeing her. That's news to me, but we haven't put any labels on it yet. There's one label on it. Maxwell House. Shut up. Don't interrupt me, Pete. Well, fair game, then. haven't put any labels on it yet so you know i actually want there's one label maxwell house shut up don't interrupt me pete shut up pete sorry i am sorry about that pete but you you just have to shut up for one minute we appreciate everything you guys have done it was so kind it made us look great i mean the fact

that you started it and the way it took off and all the organization and uh it really was touching um and meant so much to us and uh you just have to shut up for just one minute and do not talk again until I give you permission. You noticed that Kevin didn't say Black Lives Matter before, but those were a lot of the organizations that you all were giving to. I did see him workshopping

a phrase earlier that I think he's maybe a little shy about using, but he has been saying you can't spell Black Lives Matter without Kevis Bartelt. Which I guess is true.

Black Lives Matter does contain all the letters. We can repeat it for you. Yeah. I thought does contain all the letters. We can repeat it for you. I thought repeat fell off, actually. There's like a kid crying. My fucking kid keeps acting up. Your kid started crying when he heard that phrase.

Kevin, do you want to say it? It's a little confusing to me. Do you want to say it? Kevin, do you want to hit us with It's a little confusing to me. Do you want to say it? Kevin, do you want to hit us with it? I know you've been practicing it. I'm screening calls right now. Okay. What were you guys saying?

About your phrase that you've been introducing, which is you can't spell Black Lives Matter without Kevis Bartelt. Wow. I forgot that I was workshopping that with you guys um it is true but the your name is not kevis wow um yeah you know i'm still screening calls so let me come back and uh and you should probably add a middle name that has the rest of the letters because we're so close yeah i mean yeah it is because we need an i mean we need an m yeah yeah uh you you figure it don't figure it

out like on my great great we could use a c as well okay kevis mc bartelt mc kevis mc kevis bartel mc kevis that's better yeah or kevis mick bartel oh okay that's my mick the mick coming to fox pete what's the how how do we say goodbye you're allowed to say goodbye that's it How do we say goodbye? You're allowed to say goodbye. That's it. Oh, I can definitely say goodbye to you guys. I really appreciate you putting this on.

No, that's not what we say. That's not what we say. We say... Well, yeah, no. See, I was following along with the hugging and the business. I've been wanting to say I yield my time, but that's not what the design is. It's a, I hug you, I'm doing hugs with you. No.

And boy, whatever, okay, big hugs. No. You know better than this. We should add big hugs. I hug you, I'm in big hugs with you. I'm big hugs with you. It's just such hugs. I'm sorry.

We should definitely add an I'm big hugs with you it's just such hugs I'm sorry we should definitely add an I'm sorry so the new phrase is I hug you I'm in big hugs with you I'm sorry that I love being here with you today and now we do our hug ah oh yes very nice

thank you so much guys bye Pete bye we have Lisa next how many people in the queue oh there's loads and I would like to propose at this point

that at the end we just turn on everybody and just see what happens and we gotta start cycling through people a little bit faster to propose at this point that at the end we just turn on everybody and just see what happens yeah you have to and we got to start cycling through people a little bit faster and this is yeah if anybody read our red at ama when people said um do you like when people are hanging out after the show you can feel how hayes talks to people for too long i don't know what it is about this guy but it's like i was so done with pete nice guy i actually prefer repeat great guy great guy great hugger very nice hug but it's like we were done that just kind of time just kind of flattens out for me when I'm talking to

yeah no you are in a state of flow yeah do we do two at once let's do two at once that's allowed let's get this team in here let's bring in Lisa hello

hello hi Lisa and let's introduce the other member of lisa's team that is travis travis hello hello hi guys your name can be rearranged to spell vartis yeah yeah and lisa's name can be rearranged to spell Vartis. Yeah. Yeah, that works. And Lisa's name can be rearranged to spell

Sail. So Vartis Sail, the Unstoppable team. You guys remember, did you ever when you were like picking teams in school, you know, and you and your buddy would in school you know and you would and you and your buddy would stay next to there you go package we're package package did

anybody else do this no you would be a package deal yeah it would be like you cannot pick me for your team without my best friend we will only play out the same team so that the following team would get two picks if they picked the package and that's sort of what we have here with varta sale yeah i'd do a similar thing except i would just scream like peas in a pod and then if they didn't pick us peas in a pod they had similar concept yes i would often announce it and then the person next to me would be like no we're good it's okay you can pick yeah they didn't know

they didn't sign off on being a part of a package with you yeah and you're much they're much better than you are at the sport or just that like making friends yeah where is everyone calling from today and what are you

sipping on i am from san diego area and i am sipping on water and are you using the i am from the travis if you shut up for a second hang on if are you at the zoo? Are you using the famous, the Hollywood handbook camelback to sip your water? Unfortunately, no. Okay, well, then your water is getting everywhere. Your water is actually falling out. Well, congratulations. I hope you have a towel. I'm slurping it from the carpet.

It's kind of hard. Go outside if you're going to drink without the camelback. Take that outside. And now, Travis? Politely? I am from Connecticut. Connecticut? Yuck. Please, could I announce that I'm from Connecticut, yes.

I'm in Connecticut. Where? Mystic. Marlborough, which is just outside of Hartford. Oh, I know it. Yeah. Believe me. You got your Marlborough miles, huh? Well, I just moved here, just bought a house,

but I am going by the Marlborough. Where were you before? Well, I was born in Newingtonington or i was raised in newington yep town name yeah brand newington yeah ccmt connecticut center for massage therapy little school in newington you might see you might see one of your friends pictures on the wall there among one of the graduated classes if you oh if you ever want to take the trip back home so i'll tell you what one of connecticut's favorite sons yes i'm new i'm one of newington's favorite sons yeah yeah you and the guy from uh perfect strangers i can't think of the name which guy he's also

connecticut uh not uh bronson pinchop okay the other guys from weathersfield that makes it tougher yeah there you go course and larry uh travis and you are sipping on what now? I just finished an iced coffee boy and I can hear it too damn dude I'm looking in a damn mirror I'm wired right now guys I'm in a damn funhouse mirror

this guy's in Connecticut drinking iced coffee I have it right Sean do you want to start talking about the meadows? yeah you ever jump the fence weird you ever jump the fence only when we

when I saw Rage Against the Machine and Wu-Tang I actually wasn't at that show to be honest with you I was there I got hit in the head with a big piece of sod I got drilled I'm very jealous I got fucking drilled with a huge piece of sod they started ripping up the lawn and i was just like walking to get a soda or whatever in my like huge

wu-tang shirt and i was like i'm part of the fun crew and then hey cool and then i got fucking hammered somebody just basically like body slammed a giant section of the lawn onto my head rocks and shit in my mouth it was fun um imagine being at that show and you're listening to that message and you're like these guys are right some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses let's let's rip out the sod they got the we'll get the sod. They got the, we'll get the sod. Yeah, they got the fence, ripped up the fence, burned it, sod. It was fun.

Did you ever jump the fence though? No, I didn't. I did. I wasn't athletic or badass enough to be able to. That's right. Sail. Can I tell you what I jumped the fence to? Jewel and Rusted Root.

Jewel and Rusted Root. And again for Paul Simon and Bob Dylan. And again for the Dave Matthews band. So when you talk about being athletic and badass, I guess you're talking to the right guy. I would like to hear from... Sale. Sale. Sale? Sale, yeah. What? I would like to hear from sale sale sale

what childhood or teen concert did you go to oh um I'm trying to think of one that is not the answer to a security question for your bank not too obscure

because I was very cool. Um, try me. Honestly, I saw this band called Harry and the Potters. It was big at the time to do wizard. Yeah. I remember Harry and the Potters.

Yeah. So, um, they had shows at library and nerd core. I went to two, I think. Yeah. Nerd core. I went to two, I think. Yeah. Nerd Corps is back.

Get MC Chris on the line. And now my kid's crying. What did Pete do? Well, mine was just trying to get on to the phone while I was talking. No. Vardis. I'm on the phone. No, go away.

I'm done with you. You're sucking up all of Sale's time. Sale. I'm sorry, Phil. I'm sorry. You're the main caller. Yes. Listen to me.

Okay. What other concert that I do know did you go to? No, I... Harry and the Potters like was good. I was more into Hungry and the Games. Yeah, that was pretty good.

They were really funny. I was listening to Ready and the Player Ones. What other ones? All of them. Every single one. I didn't get many. Okay, I had a chance to see anti-flag,

but I didn't go because I didn't think my mom would let me. A chance. As a teen? I didn't. Anti-flag? Surely you mean pro-flag. That's your mom. Unfortunately, no.

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even bring it up. I didn't even ask. Yeah. Not happening. It's a pro-flag. Yeah.

And you ever see Government Mule? I did. and you ever see uh government mule i did my dad took me to see government mule bet he did yeah man warren haynes baby we're gonna give you a little bit of education today government mule and uh rat dog playing together yeah those two leon russell that leon russell that's a double bill man dog playing together. Those two. Leon Russell. That's double bill, man. Rat dog. We got to get through these. Yep.

We got to do it. Can we hear the sign off, please? In unison, preferably. Yes. All right. I hug you. And I'm in big hugs with you and I'm in

big hugs with you and I love being I'm sorry I'm sorry and I loved

being here. Being here with you. Being with you here today. Being here with you here today. Bye. Bye. Get in here. We got a couple more lined up

Okay Here's Mario Mario Hello Mario Yeah I'm here Yeah we was Hi Mario

What's up Hi Lots of people would do some sort of italian joke super mario kind of childish i will say that the way you said yeah i'm here was much more in keeping with the attitude of wario than mario there was a lot of toot on it. And it was the sort of negativity I would expect more from Wario. Do you have anything to confess? Yeah, I do

have a dark side. I bet. I drink water. Oh, also, I'm sipping on water from Hollywood Handbook t-shirt you are ringing from the shirt water out of a hollywood handbook t-shirt that is another way to stop from a mess yeah once you so if you don't have if you don't have the camelback that's okay it's very expensive

the water is going to get everywhere you may use your hollywood handbook t-shirt as a water catcher on the floor you can mop up the spilled water with your hollywood handbook t-shirt and then squeeze the shirt into your mouth and chew on the shirt and suck and get the water out of it that is allowed so thank you mario for being polite where are you calling from mario san diego 2 that's what san diego 2 is it better than san diego 1 i don't go in much for sequels these days we have parrots over here. You have parrots? Parrots, yeah. Mario?

I don't know if it's parrots or parents. The famous San Diego parents. I guess that's why they're called the Padres. Well, there you go, yeah. Come to San Diego. We're not going to top that. Why don't you sign off for us we've got moms dads and the san diego parents uh mario unfortunately you are part of the new phase of callers that gets

maybe a third as much time as everyone else. Because we have to... How many are there, Devin? We still have about five in our queue. No, that's not as many as I thought. All right. Yeah. Okay. Well, we're going to try and get through everyone. Okay.

Yeah. Well, I've got seven minutes, so... Okay. Well, let's move on then. Here's Connie. Mario, take care of yourself. Hug you. I'm going to hug with you. Sorry. Hi, Connie. Oh, hi, Connie. Connie. Mario, take care of yourself. Hug you. I'm going to hug with you. Hi, Connie. Oh, hi, Connie.

Connie. Hi, hello. What's that short for? Con Edison. What is that short for? It's short for Constanza. So I don't tell that to people a lot because they don't know how to pronounce it

or write it. George Constanza? Yeah. George Constanza. I love that show. I love that show. I'm sort of the Kramer of my friend group. Constanta.

I think I'm the Constanta of my group yes what are you sipping on where are you calling from I'm sipping on green tea and I'm calling from Vancouver green tea and Vancouver and what's the green tea coming out of just a normal cup

just a normal cup but I was wondering what your thoughts are on using the Hollywoodllywood handbook stickers to scoop up liquids now that shirts are allowed yes you can make a funnel with the hollywood handbook sticker so it is a circle and you can twist it into sort of a cone that'll be a little hole at the end you can put that in your mouth and pour the liquid through that and that is a safe way to get most of the liquid now if the green tea is very hot it will melt the sticker don't get nervous

the sticker is vitamins we're in vancouver constanta gas town um uh no i'm from a i live in a nearby city because it's very expensive to live in vancouver okay so not vancouver is what i'm hearing are you on top of mount whistler i wish surrey yes okay I wish. Suri? Yes. Okay. That's exactly where. I knew it. As soon as she said that she was calling from Vancouver, I was like, I don't know.

It sounds like a Suri. No, I would know if you were in Vancouver. It sounds like one of these Suris. Yeah, I think you can hear it in my voice. Hey, Suri. Hey, Suri. Hey, Suri. Is that rain

It activated stop it Hey Siri how do I make Caspaccio Okay well This has been so good Constanza We do have to you are in the new The new new phase of callers who gets Even less time than Mario did

And we do need to hear The sign off very quickly. Okay, I think I have it. I hug you and I'm in big hugs with you. And I'm sorry. I love being here with you today. Wow. That was really good.

That was amazing. That was really perfect. Very well executed. Thank you. Thank you. This is worth so much more than than uh sixty six thousand dollars i know and connie actually should have gotten more time than a few of our other callers because she nailed the sign off yeah um and she lied about where she was which

to me is like so intriguing and she asked that sticker question i think a lot of people were wondering about what you can do with the stickers is if your friend has a camelback you can take the stickers and kind of create a mold in the shape of the camelback and sort of lightly hair dry them so just so you can like schlorp it off the camelback and now you basically have your own camelback. Yeah. Who's next? Another Travis.

Yet another Travis. Travis is all the way down. Hey everyone. Hey everyone. And that's Matt Apodaca's phrase as long as we're That's Matt Apodaca's.

Yeah. That's plagiarizing. Yeah. Please. I didn't mean to jump in right off the bat with more copyright infringement, so I would like to apologize to Matt Apodaca. Are you Devin?

Calling location. You do sound a lot like Devin. You sound like Devin. He doesn't sound like me. I don't sound like Devin. This is Devin's tricky ass. Devin, how are you doing this? I can see you on the video.

Did you pre-record this? I know. I'll say something you wouldn't expect, and it'll throw your script off. Oh, no. I'm so unpredictable, I could say anything at any time. That's why people listen to the show.

I've painted myself in a corner with this wild persona. It's matching up perfectly with everything. I would like to take this moment to say that I've never thought about doing improv on a podcast before. And when you're in the moment, you get very scared. Well, that's the whole lesson isn't it don't think that's what don't think is that's what don't think twice was trying to teach us yes

this is your weekend live audition okay the stakes just have gotten much higher so I would like to apologize to Devin for you know I mean not using his voice to the standards that would be expected on Hollywood Handbook. I don't know what I'm doing either I wouldn't worry about it. And the modesty uncharacteristic

Travis what are you sipping on? I am sipping on a nice, cold, foamy Cabin Crusher, cold-style ale with lemon. And that is my little shout-out to Summon Brewing Company. Where's that? That is in St. Paul, Minnesota. Oh, Summon. Is that where you are?

Wait, is this me? I'm in Minneapolis, Minnesota. This is Devin. This might actually be me. Stop being Devin. We have a Devin already. Devin being embarrassed to be on a podcast with an otter. It's a freaking doppel, Devin.

This is like the movie Enemy. This is like, oh yeah, or the lesser seen joseph gordon 11 movie the double uh was it jesse eisenberg or no it's just yeah exactly yeah that's good point okay well we already have a devon on the show so unfortunately that is your time you're stealing from the people who are not Devin. Uh, please do say the sign off and don't give the sort of nastiness to it that I

would expect from a freaking the Devin Ganger. And you're going to make this as nice as possible. I hug you. I am in hug with you. I am sorry. I enjoyed being here. Okay, no idea how big the hugs was, but it doesn't matter at this point.

Goodbye. I'll make it sound about how big the hug was. He's gone. Devin, dump yourself. I turned me off. I'm gone. Okay, and I basically have to be done now. How many people do we have left? There's six in the queue. Oh my God, more?

We can turn them all on at once. Okay, let's get them on. We'll roll through them. Let's do a party. Party call. You're on the party line. Hey, your parents don't know. This is Amin. Hello? That was Amin? How do we. Hello? That was Amin?

How do we know for sure that was Amin? Yes. Okay, that sounds like Amin. Tell me something only Amin would say. Ah, yes. You're saying, uh... Since we have six, and the way you said

hello gave me an idea, can we have everyone go, hello, hello, hello, hello? Yes, and Devin, you announce them each one at a time and they say no, it has to be better organized than that. Yeah, please. Toby is also on the line now. I am. No.

There's Toby. No, Toby, you say hello. Okay. Yes. Good. And here's Alex. Start from the beginning with the meat no the effect is we have to get all at once we want it to be layered so somebody's gonna do hello and as they sustain the note then you say the next name and then we'll get a new hello yes got it got it got hello toby alex hello ryan hello

okay great all right well that four was awesome yeah that was amazing that was like freaking you pitch perfect up in this i really felt like i was i was watching the pitches oh should we bring back everyone and do something together everyone who called previously they're all right here they all stayed on the line they sure did well these people haven't gotten there dude does anyone have anything really interesting to say alex ryan is anyone sipping on anything cool travis three yes i have a ginger ale wow strong stuff i would like to tell sean wait okay you want to tell Sean. Wait. Okay. You want to tell me what? There was a time, the ad for Quip toothbrushes. I was working at a house and I started laughing when you did the ad. And the person I was working for asked me what I was laughing at.

So I had to explain it. And that dude was an airline pilot. And he has not been comfortable leaving his stuff at an airport or at a hotel since then okay so thank you okay what was the question from alex maybe wait who was that was that ian yeah it was ace yep i thought so thank you ian um my question was um who won the rory scoville season of the bachelor or was production halted due to coronavirus really interesting so um we did find ways to do socially distanced dates um we weren't able to film them but a transcript of the entire season will be released released and the the romance in text is unbelievable it's honestly the most dramatic finale ever rory doesn't abstain with his wife who is on all the dates with him if you recall

his wife who is on all the dates with him if you recall right um but it still is like it's really good and i think who won probably the audience and that probably the audience did walked away with that final road the audience did did what rory definitely the rory marries the audience the whole audience thank you so much i been waiting. He turns to camera and he says, I'd like to propose to, and he turns to camera and says, the girl watching this. And then he goes, not you, you. And he goes, yes, you.

No, not her. Why are you looking at her? Look at me. I'm talking to you. Who else is here? We also have Ryan and Paul. Paul Ryan. Hello.

Dude, what's your fitness routine? I just love pumping iron, you know? I'll tell you what, man. You know, like the golf iron. What are you sipping on? I'm sipping on water, and I'm calling from Indianapolis. We got a hydrated group today. We sure do.

For real. We sure do. Indianapolis. You ever see any of those cutters around Indiana University Indiana University is all the way down in Bloomington all the way down like it's like the biggest state ever it's not that big

it's a lot closer to you than me buddy it's an hour and a half south all the way down oh my god an hour and a half what are we possibly going to do listen to friggin one comedy an hour and a half south. All the way down. Oh my God, an hour and a half. Yeah. What are we possibly going to do? Listen to frigging one comedy bang bang?

Fuck off. You ever see Breaking Away? I have, yes. It rocks. Pretty wild. Some pretty wild stuff in there for sure. Should we have Catherine say what season one of Damages was like? Please.

She can tell. She can have an audience here. Season one of Damages. Hello? Hello. I'm sorry. You're interrupting me while I'm watching season one of Damages. Okay. Can you just summarize what you've'm watching season one of damages okay you just

summarize what you've learned from season one of damages so far and then we'll be then we'll be out okay what i have learned from season one of damages so far is there's someone named patty um that's a drama there's legal stuff involved And it's just whacking my brain out, man. Yeah, it takes a little time to really process it. It's a lot to ask. No, we wouldn't have expected you to have a real take. Yeah. To understand what's going on with Patty.

So we'll do this again next week. Now, I have to take off. Okay. Do we have everyone on now? Everyone is on the line right now. Hi. Hi. Everyone say the sign off at the same time.

And we'll do it too. Oh, shit. The sign off actually doesn't have the word shit in it. Should we count it off? I hug you. Someone's Should we count it off? Yes, count it. Someone's got to count it off. One,

two, three, go. I hug you. And I'm being with you. I'm sorry. And I love you. And I'm sorry. And I love

and I'm playing with you here today. Here. Now say bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook.