Hollywood Handbook - Tim Heidecker, Our TimXM Friend

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

TIM HEIDECKER returns to make a special new channel with The Boys.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so you know another all-nighter for me and it was me myself i was not alone i was in there with in the mixing studio with Nick Elodian. And we were planning secret messages for children in the cartoons. Do you know about this, Hayes? I've heard about this, yeah. Things about having kids buy oil. Like having them go buy gas.

But all positive stuff. All positive stuff for the economy. Like go buy gas. Right. Like, use more gas. I mean, it was mostly gas-based. It is what I was saying. The same thing as that. It's exactly what you're saying.

What, did I disagree with you? Having to buy gasoline. Yeah. Okay. You're saying it like it's the same as if I disagreed with you. I'm just wondering why you did that. No, you just said, but, and then you sort of repeated back the same did you thing that did you notice that you did that that you acted i didn't do anything with you no no yeah no you didn't the way you were so naturally you

were saying choice yeah because of the way you were saying it no it's it's an interesting story i i thought it was too but um uh you know it doesn't even matter we'll talk about it later we have obviously to do the show the hollywood handbook and inside of guy the kicking butt and dropping names in the red carpet lineback hallways of this industry we call showbiz uh special guest important guests today to us professionally having been on this show before and personally because of the role that he has played in our and our family's lives in one case uh tim heidecker is is back on the show tim hello thank you so much for being here welcome and how's it what's up thank you for having me what's up i don't know and tim and and what up

what up to you from me and from my family and of course from my son yeah the that we were just speaking the last time i was on the only time the other time i was on the first time i was on you regretfully the only time in the delivery room you were in the delivery room and my wife was there and we were having the baby and you are in many ways the first man in my baby's life you're the sort of the first person that he met and the influence has been tremendous and so you know i've been showing him your stuff he's what he's doing all the you know the whole cycle we started tom goes the mayor, and then we went through the entire catalog. Tom goes to the mayor. And recently we were doing Beef House,

and we were getting all of it in there. And he doesn't always connect to it, but when he does, it's like the light goes on in his eyes. You have kids. I mean, you know how that feels. It's very colorful, and there's a lot of music, and there's mean you know how that feels it's very colorful and there's a lot of music and there's a lot of uh yeah it's quick moving and so for for infants it can be pretty effective and it's sort of messed up some of it as well it's totally messed up

that's what we shoot for i love messed up comedy sick in the head I was talking to To Crawford This baby about Mr. America You were talking to the baby about The baby's name is Crawford Yes Is he named after Keith Crawford

From William Street From Adult Swim Yeah Just picked a name out of the credits from one of your Projects and street from adult swim yes okay yeah no it's it just picked a name out of the credits from one of your projects and yeah he's usually at the end usually at the end executive in charge of production or something like that yeah cool crawford was saying he didn't know if the lady in it was real like that she's real but if she was like faking it or what yeah your side the one year old was wondering that yeah well one and a half but yeah regardless and not that like

uh it's not a criticism necessarily but to him it was no that wasn't one of his criticisms yeah that wasn't one of that wasn't that wasn't one of the issues that he had. He had issues with Mr. America? Yeah. Look, nothing's perfect. Everybody, you know, the audience brings their own experience to it. And so like, yeah, I mean, he had... Well, for Crawford,

she was an actor. Yeah, she was cast to play that person. And she was, yeah, she was in on the... Okay, that's what he said. She yeah she was uh yeah okay that's what he said she knew what was going on that's what he said we have so there's this there's like the personal stuff but there's also like really really big like business stuff happening yes you tend to have big moves stand up you have the special out special is out it's done it's out it's on youtube what is that like releasing something like that it's out there now is it like and now it's like kind of not yours

anymore and you're watching other people have their experiences with it like what is that and uh i mean the honest truth is we did that special like a few years ago a couple years ago okay and it is a meta comedy special you know it is not it is a character who is bombing the whole night and it's the material doesn't feel dated not really you know what i mean yeah it it it kind of got stronger as it sat it kind of fermented which is a good comedy as good you know hollywood lesson is you know pick your moments if you can but it feels like when i did it we might the insiders like you and i we might have a sense sort of a spidey sense if you will about there being sort of over oversaturation of comedy in the world right now

especially in the stand-up format but that feels like your average Joe can relate to that well Crawford was saying something interesting about it when I did discuss the special with him which is actually one of his favorite things that you've

done he was talking about how stand-ups are sort of the last true warriors. And they're just up there with their mic, which is their sword. And in a country that has become overrun with kind of soy boy, that you are something of Vinicilles. Yeah, truth to I like consider him a truth teller thank you your son and me my character my many characters i get i'm i'm i forget who i am uh half the time anyways the the the smartness of this we we do a similar thing where we do a show and like it bombs and we're like oh first of all that was a long time ago we always say

when it comes out we're like oh that was like forever i forgot about that we go oh we're way better since then even if it was actually very recent because i noticed a lot of people in the audience are wearing masks not not many of them nobody's wearing masks in 2018 well not many not many but definitely like not as many as you would hope but definitely some uh and and then we say like oh first of all it was a character it was on purpose and it and it was so ago, I don't even remember. Yeah. I don't have a lot to do with it, frankly.

Like, I kind of showed up. They were filming it for whatever reason. And then it came out. So it was just one of many things I do. You know, people love it, whatever. It's almost by accident. Yeah, people freak out for it. That's great. If they don't, it's like you didn't see it whatever it's almost by accident yeah people freak out for it that's great if they don't it's like you didn't see it either so no but we do want to talk about

these of these projects space force space force coming out very soon space force on the horizon well it's a space yeah i mean um let's just be clear here it's a it's a full rebrand of space force uh we read no mark naird mark naird is still the general in charge no uh no we've read we kind of like uh it's really complicated but we uh me and greg daniels and uh steve carell like And Greg Daniels and Steve Carell flipped at the reaction when it came out on Netflix. We flipped. Really upset because we were psyched about it. Yeah. Yeah, naturally.

You know, if you saw the original Space Force, I'm not really there. I'm not really in it. And that was an issue. And so one of the strategies we had after it kind of came and bombed, frankly, it was like a really disappointing thing. It was made a long time ago. Let's do a, let's call Netflix. We got Netflix on the phone. We said, can we get the full mulligan?

We want to just wipe it, start fresh. Let's do, get everybody in. Just let us do it again please everybody came in to write on this the second pass yeah everybody so that so that was the difference most of the people were not there before was that the issue jost came in and really wrote like colin and michael like the two co-head writers on snl both came in and did a full page one rewrite of basically the whole show. No BS. So Colin Jokes is in there actually pitching some of his famous Colin Jokes. Yeah, they did such a great cleanup job on it. And so what ended up happening was it got so

radically changed. We changed the title and we got John in, got fred in and a couple other people and it's just so much cleaner which i love about that is john ralphio still going to be a part of it though i mean i remember being concerned when i didn't see him we really had to rethink the we had to rethink the entire thing like ground from the ground up like it was it was like a that's what space force should have been called from the ground up from the ground up yeah it's pretty smart yeah what they did it's now moon moon base and what's funny is it's netflix now you know they're they didn't uh they couldn't actually air the redo the mulligan so showtime came in and now they're doing it but it was yeah it's really awesome stuff that was already

that stuff is over my pay grade yes yes that gets all like in the original deal i know there was sort of built in the potential for this to happen so there was this understanding like if we're going to get all these people together let's make sure that we'll have that out, that opportunity to redo, to do a Mulligan. If we're not, if the audience isn't really thrilled with it. So luckily I think a lot of projects are doing that. Now they're building in from the ground that they're saying,

like, if this comes out, like if the new, uh, James Bond movie comes out or something, and it's not a success that there is that built in, you know, it's budgeted now it's

budgeted yeah uh for you to go for you to go like strip this to the to the down down to the copper wire you know and and redo sell some of it sell some of the part down to and down to the studs in the case of you and fred and uh john yeah yeah yeah because you know space force will like the original version that that's still playing like internationally that's still gonna be yes until you've recouped you recoup that's fine internationally you know like it's fine no with this these reboots are in the black before they roll camera the way the way they frame the way they yeah it's all pre-sold it's all pre-sold so we're happy with it it's still like very um you know it's tough it's it's still like there's an original sin i guess in there in the original space force that you just are not going to be able to cleanse for this new launch again

great pun but it's it's gonna come and go like everything like the stand-up special like my music like mr america you know it will come and go well so mr america is going to come back like keep coming back and no it's just it's gone it's i see i came and went yeah yeah oh what you're saying yes is that it's gone so we got bought since you were last year yeah by who by the radio the radio actually came in

the radio in the car WMARON so that is so interesting. W-M-A-R-O-N is, I guess, now a subsidiary. That's the M now in SiriusXM. Cool. It stands for Extra Marin. But SiriusXM, of course, is like our big parent company.

And they are constantly looking for new programming to put on this car radio. They have all these numbers, Tim. Even finding new numbers. Yes. They're finding these new numbers and they're like, oh, what do we do with this one? They just found 40 is on there in the car radio. Right. Yeah.

And they've got it. The keyboard has these emoji symbols, too, that they're thinking maybe they have channels with these what's the channel what channel is it just the hollywood handbook on channel 40 no this is a network what's the network w w m a r o n is that what the network is no this is actually this is one that we are and they actually came to us and they said there's the idea you do whatever you like you do it with this tim xm nice tim xm tim xm how's that grab you uh that is that tim related to me it could be could be could be okay obviously the big fish that we're after here is tim gunn who has expressed some interest uh-huh can we get two Tims and he said he won't do it unless we have another Tim

great and so we did an episode with Tim Simons pretty recently that was sort of an audition for this went horribly who's this he's very Tim Simons don't know him yeah he's like a tall guy he's like a golf guy

he was on Beep the HBO president jokes yeah he's like a tall guy he's like a golf guy he he's he was on uh on beep the um hbo president jokes oh beep yep okay where they're cussing they're saying fuck stick there i know what you're talking about they're going you armadillo fuck and you're like what the that's not a curse i've heard i know they're very creative he lied constantly through the entire show uh was not dressed appropriately at all uh was not a good fit for this project we might use him still but the guy doesn't know his goddamn dick from a breadstick damn what about tim daly and now we're talking wings and now we're a little bit more in my area of expertise. Right, right.

So, yes, Tim Daly is interesting. So it's weird. He's interested in doing it, but only as his character from The Sopranos who got the shit beat out of him. Uh-huh. Which I think is a strong choice, but to me, it doesn't have a lot of legs, and Tim Gunn's not going to gonna like it he abhors violence and that's not gonna make it work right no uh it's it's maybe a weird uh

it's a weird place for him to be and to be insistent on that i mean he wouldn't have the rights to that anyways he's i mean you'd have to go to chase well that's another thing legally where yeah we're gonna end up in a pretty big bind um when did i mean i know i get i can only imagine that david chase made a lot of money on the sopranos but enough to start a bank isn't that crazy and it just goes to show that investments and wealth are unrelated to actual just earning power right and he must have put it he must have immediately put every check in the bank and that it eventually got so big that it became he's like listen i can lend you money i'll lend you money and i'll take a little piece like

just kind of like maybe a lesson he learned from the mob you know money uh loan sharking essentially is what a bank is yeah they're basically saying like legal loan sharking essentially is what a bank is. Yeah, isn't it? They're basically saying like- Just legal loan sharking. There's the mob right there. But I'll keep your money too. That's one of the aspects of banks is I'll hold on to your money. It's safe with me. And that's what David Chase has shown he's very adept at.

That's why he really has not a lot of success after The Sopranos because all that energy, time, and creativity and enterprise went into Chase Bank. Here's the recipe. This is the Chase investment recipe. I did a little seminar on this. It goes 10% luck. Right. 20% skill.

15% concentrated power of will. 5% pleasure. Wow. 50% pain. Wow. concentrated power of will 5 pleasure well 50 pain wow and a hundred percent reason to remember the name and the name in this case is toby soprano toby soprano that's uh what do you sound like yogi bara with the with the percentages they were all over the place but i love it it's creative and it's fun with numbers it does actually add up i'm pretty sure it adds up exactly 200 percent 200 percent yeah that's why when that's why we and you have to admit that we do remember this name this guy yeah it was such a like this character come on he's like the ultimate hero in TV, or you could even call anti-hero.

You could say, yeah. Because for somebody who is the hero, not all of his actions are that heroic. No, he's complicated. And he almost like paves the way for other characters like... Deadwood. Ed Wood. Ed Wood.

And Brian Cramlin's show what's the brian cramlin show uh it's bronchi bad it's a it's actually yeah it's actually a really cool show and if people haven't checked this i love turning people on to this stuff there used to be a show called get up on this i don't know better call paul better call paul the show with David Cross. That one's cool. It's a little like, it doesn't have as much like shooting as the other one. So I don't know if people want to watch it. I tried. I fell asleep.

But that one could be sick as hell. I'm trying to remember because there is other shows. Oh, well, I mean, would you even say it's an inspiration a little bit for um some of your stuff what like like thicker uh-huh i mean i watch this stuff i mean i'm a you know i simp for tim i'm a timp okay i'm a timp i'm a timp simp you know i mean i'll say it i'll name your damn show i you know when you're right in front of you simps for timps simps for timps simps simps for timps the timpsons i draw a lot of inspiration from all kinds of shows we love the format of you know the sitcom format the uh the time the time and sort of the production schedule for them you know we just studied more not necessarily the content the writing just sort of how you build a schedule how you

develop the prep period and the calendar right yeah and how you like kind of appealing things how you can overlap post with production well you are you block you're shooting excuse me if you're shooting day one get start getting that footage over to your post soup and let him get to the editor orging you know let him get sort of like a timeline going or or the footage we're touching on something i do like to remind everyone of because you talk about like there's post and there's this side of it and there's the calendar and there's the line producer and people go oh where does it what's the hierarchy of this an easy way to remember nobody outranks health and safety not these days no i mean nobody outranks health and safety so my people might go oh it's tim's show he's the boss

no actually he works for health and safety now in this new covid age that will you know hopefully be living with for a long time to come because it sets a standard and And listen, I hope COVID is clear. Yeah, I hope COVID's, you know, we have the vaccine and people get back to, you know, that people don't get infected with the COVID. But I hope that the protocols and the policies that this pandemic have ingrained in us remain a part of the process. Nice to have it as a mighty cudgel to wield so that you could infect someone with it if you want.

Well, that, but also just the regimen of separating the different departments so that I can't be spoken to in the makeup chair, the grips or PA. Nobody can really communicate or be around each other. No one can be anywhere near you. They can't even come in to say good job. And if they try, you can be like, what? The thing?

Yeah. What is it? So I think going forward, let's just hope that that just becomes industry standard, that all the below the line, whatever they are, you want to call them sound guys or just the grunts, are heavily masked and wear you know incredible coverage so that they can't infect anybody and you don't have to see the talent never see them and if they approach you it's forbidden and they actually are in trouble and then you won't see any more of these uh outbreaks or pandemics it'll be sort of nip it in the bud i do hope it continues forever i appreciate that it's a barrier to entry for new

talent which for me is huge yes i felt those i felt some of these guys sort of nipping at my heels because i'm not going to do something new no but now we need experience here you can't just have someone be like wandering it's very dangerous and right yeah the gate is closed it's like the gate is closed and we're not there gate is closed. And we're not, there's no real reason to open it up. I mean, obviously we're going to have to kind of draft in younger talent. Like, you know,

if we're looking into casting a family sitcom, you're going to want like an eight-year-old, a 10-year-old. Just grab the kids. And yeah, I mean, it would be great if they come from the system. So if you have somebody that's already in development at Paramount or wherever.

And keep the money where it is a little bit. You know what I mean? A little bit, yeah. It's already coming to your house. Yeah, it's nepotism in a good way, in a positive way that sort of creates a closed loop that, frankly, we're going to need to have in place for a long time to come, hopefully. Well, we need it all, Tim, this is 24 hour tim well we have the content i mean if you don't mind just having the audio from some of this stuff i think the content that's all we can do so it's a car radio and so we there is it is all sound there is no visual component at all of course you got

the little like digital screen and so you've got like pixels that are being rearranged to like suggest one thing or another uh but you know like could simulate sex with yeah what would like what would a programming uh like a block of programming look like in your in your Well, I think we would do one hour of just jokes. Just cut up from different projects. Right. So you would say, we can get this now, honestly. We probably should.

Just the punchlines, yeah. Yeah, just like, hey everybody, it's TimXM. And these are some of my favorite ass jokes. And then you just set it off that way. Hey, everybody. It's Tim Heidecker here, and these are some of my favorite ass jokes. Take it away, Tim. Something like that.

You are Tim XM. So this is part of it, too, is that you are the station itself as well but you're in the car you're in the console i am tim this is tim xm all tim all night all day take it away tim something like that great we can put in the favorite astrox part into that we'll drop that in because we have that clean from earlier coming up a couple of tracks from my 2015 album urinal street station by the yellow river boys take it away tim that's great and then just one that's um for stuff that like didn't work as well like stuff that like you are just like less proud of because we are using all of it and so just like just so much time right um for the next hour here are some tweets from 2014

hey everybody it's tim fm tim xm sorry take two hey everybody it's tim xm coming up at the eight o'clock hour some tweets from 2014 take it away tim that's great because we will we are going to be reading all the posts yeah and we have so much of you throwing to yourself can we have some of you accepting the throw from yourself like hey thanks tim hey thanks tim coming up hey thanks tim here is some audio from my small role in the read uh let me take that again thanks tim all right coming up we got some of the audio from my classic scene with nick kroll in the National Lampoon's Vacation Reboot starring Ed Helms. That's really good. We are going to do

big, big blocks of SNL monologues. If you could just rattle off a few favorites, any that stick out. I've never done SNL. You're saying other people's uh yeah in a perfect world you would be doing some some classic snl monologues by some other people

i don't have any of those memorized uh i don't know why you would think i did i don't i don't memorize monologues from snl um okay you can shoot me over one if you want. I mean, Christopher Walken did a Christmas episode where he sang Walking in a Winter Wonderland. It's kind of funny his last name's Walken. You could really hit that. All right. Kevin, can you just like maybe pull one?

We can do that later. Maybe pull one of those up. If you get a Joseph Gordon-Levitt one, that would be great. Joseph Gordon-Levitt hosting snl monologue approaching the five timers club i think and honestly if he if he did get in there that could be a really funny one real oh you're talking about joseph gordon levitt uh has done snl five times i think he's approaching the five timers club he's he's zeroed in on the five timers club

and he's headed there do you think he'll he there. Do you think he'll hit it soon? What do you think? It's in his sights? If Don John's any indication, this guy doesn't move up too easy. You see Don John? Don John. Don John? Directorial debut.

First one he directed. I didn't get the porn one where he's addicted to porn. You're jacking off. Yes, that is jacking off. I skipped that one. I didn't watch that one. Haven one the where he's addicted to porn you're jacking off yes that is jacking off i skipped that one i didn't watch that one haven't seen it yet no i i wasn't i wasn't nuts about his that movie he did garden state so i just i felt like i nothing about you know as a director made me want to go see another one music tim i mean okay the movie sure the movie but tim the music the music was great thank you yeah i'd be happy to do one i can record it send it over at some other point but it's i don't know why would why do you think people would want to hear me doing snl monologues on my radio station

that seems a little weird well the monologue's the best part uh it's comedy uh you're gonna run out of stuff it's you then like who else would do it is what's confusing to me the whole network is named after your network well yeah you want someone else doing snl monologues i don't i'm like taking stuff off your plate and you're like put it back on i don't want to do it yeah i'll try it you know what about doing like a william shatner from the like he did a he was on there a couple times did a funny a couple of funny appearances from him i could try that it's going is that denny crane uh william shatner boston legal's denny crane right yeah that's right. And Kirk. Dana Carvey doing Khan on SNL. He goes, Kirk.

He loves it. Phil Hartman. Phil Hartman. I'm trying to shine for one second. Phil, excuse me. Phil Hartman. One second. Phil Hartman doing Bones.

Kevin Nealon doing Spock. They had it all figured out. That was my era. Kevin kevin nealon is spock that's sort of the touchstone for me so funny he'd go captain this is highly illogical and then hartman comes in with damn it jim i'm a doctor not a oh actually it was a guy choking on uh he was the premise was that star trek was now a restaurant it was a seafood restaurant in space a revolving restaurant no and and there was a guy who was uh eating some food and he started choking and and shatner's playing kirk and says, Bones, help this man.

He goes, damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a... Oh, and then he realizes, oh, this is the one time they were actually asking for a doctor. And he's trying to do the Heimlich. Heimlich's not working. Heimlich's not working. Nealon comes in as Spock, gives him the thing on the back of the neck,

the Vulcan death grip. That's what gets the food out. Now, who played the choking out now who played the choking guy who played the choking guy in the sketch anybody know kevin meanie come on that's a surprise to me kevin meanie look it up joseph gordon levitt i thought that was his first no no this is 89 it could have you know who who would love it comes in with carvey carvey's playing uh con from star trek 2 with the big blonde hair and the chest but john love it is the health inspector so con has gotten the health inspector to try to close down kirk's restaurant it's a classic sketch and we see we

hear this now in like 2020 and we're like okay star trek has a seafood restaurant i've i've seen that a hundred million times right you judge it by when it was really what people saw it at the time it's like yeah it's not scary now when a freaking train is on screen coming towards you right at the time people had not seen that before no it's right it's like yes it's a cliche because someone did it so well you here's how innovative the sketch was you've got carvey because this is live right snl is live there's no net so and of course it's edited for rerun the problem you've got carvey backstage doing scotty on just the audio just through the you know it's a

scotty i need more we need more tartar sauce i've given it all i can captain i can't get any more he's off camera and you're thinking oh too bad we don't get to see scotty but why don't we get to see scotty because carvey comes in as con boom and he's doing double duty doing double duty who pulled him aside before dana do you think we could get you to do two characters in this one whatever you need lauren whatever you need dana you're the only cat that's got the juice to pull off double duty on this damn thing it was a different time this was how lauren he was he used to talk like that yeah of course no african-americans anywhere near that cast so they have uh victoria jackson doing the female uh uhuru part um not in black face thank god but you know particular cast yeah it's a yeah that is a white ass cast

yeah nora dunn is i think i think clegghorn was sick that week who clegghorn no this is pre-clegghorn said this is pre-clegghorn she wasn't even a featured guest featuring ellen clegghorn hollywood handbook be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say, like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm use and care about but there's one

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and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do.

It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy. They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two? Me walking in my bedroom. What's the second? It's you and your bed?

The bed. I got clippy. Fuel up fast with with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are pancake smoothies and more discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no we didn't even this is absolutely this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's's very simple. It's one huge chicken nugget. Sign up and save.

We've done the math. Factor is less expensive than takeout. Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious. Head to factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code theboys50 at factormeals.com to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me

by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of

your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over $500 million in canceled subscriptions. And that was, I mean, just to be fully transparent, that $500 million, most of that was the dresses. Well, yeah. I mean, you're talking about Hollywood memorabilia. You're talking about, like, ornate gowns, you know, in some cases. And so that was, yeah yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions

by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys hollywood handbook john is there anything else we wanted to get yeah we did just want to get i mean there's a segment we're gonna do that we could maybe this could be sort of a pilot for it where it's just it'll be a year-round segment that we'll do basically every day where we just we talk edgy halloween costume ideas oh god yeah and we just get in there and tim you get in there and you get raw as hell and you could go like hey kids why don't you be the fly on mike pence's head that's hilarious and then pause because in the car it's gonna be laughs are people doing that really they would the fly in the head that is hilarious yeah ghost of rbg okay

big rest in power chain on okay is this a halloween costume right right combining her with like stuff from black culture you know oh yeah like that's the big chain and like she's doing throwing gang signs and stuff like that you know what i mean the notorious so you're the notorious rbg yeah exactly yes the ghost of the notorious rbg um what about uh like um one of the who are some of the famous set of ghouls from uh from the hubie halloween movie the sandler film you remember those like scary scary shit man it's fucked up yeah some of that shit was fucked up yeah i was actually got sick watching it the last 30 minutes of movie are fucking it's like hereditary it's awful scary scary shit like fucked up i had like covert i don't know i don't know how many people watched past the first half hour but if you get past the first half hour it's fucked up the first half hour

draws you in it goes hey let's have some fun you know i know a lot of people that like watch the first half hour they're like get it it's it's it long. I'm a little like, you know, it's a little troubling, the character. Like, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to laugh at this character or I feel bad. You know, it feels exploitive. But so I know a lot of people that turn it off because they just felt uncomfortable about the portrayal of somebody that was developmentally disabled. Just go watch Waterboy. But if you stick with it the last 20 30 minutes that movie are seriously some of the scariest shit i've ever seen this was i i i know a lot

of people talk to alan covert about this uh and he was the one saying it's not scary it's not it's like for kids it's not a big dude some like a re they use real corpse real like cadavers and the last like bones and blood and yeah yeah real dead bodies like real cadavers were fucking what i don't want to give it away but they're like fucking torn apart no they know someone i mean well not just the cadavers because there was a person who was murdered on screen i mean they were no i know they were actually like um terminally ill yeah it was somebody it was they won some kind of contest like or whatever it was a cahorkian type that where it was like they want it was assisted suicide but in the movie

their portrayal is they're acting like no i don't want this to happen i don't want you to put those fucking gross it was so gross peter dante gets sliced in half vertically yeah it was like all the entrails coming out and like the characters like steve buscemi like i didn't i can't believe i mean they must have done some kind of they must have swapped out because he's like eating the fucking intestines and they didn't swap smearing they did not swap him out no it's really no they didn't swap them and it's no that's not no no no no no no no the steve there's no way steve buscemi ate the fucking entrails from that corpse i saw the inside look i actually i actually did watch the inside look and they're

like let's show let's show how we got this shot but all it is like he is in just in front of a green screen yeah but with the actual cadaver but everything else, the cadaver is real and all. The entrails are real. But they did kind of like a day for night thing. I had a general at Happy Madison where they actually ate a human kidney in front of me. I can't believe that that's just okay. Why aren't the QAnon people protesting about that? Because that's truly sick. But it's art.

Yeah, I agree. It's renegade. It's not my kind. I don't like horror movies, but to see Steve Buscemi, who I like, as an actor, I'm really shocked. It looked like there was... Because I guess when people die,

they still have shit inside their body. Yeah, no, you't yeah it's he's like wherever it is mirroring because it's like there's a lot of blood obviously but there's also like fucking more clearly no it's gross to talk about but it's it but it's what you see on screen and we should discuss like yeah it's like undigested and it's like it's so long like everybody that's in the june squibb is doing it too she's stuffing fucking like body parts up her vagina and her name is not june squibb in the film but she does say hand me my june bib yeah i'm about to chow down on some of this human feces and you're going wait a minute this was a kid's movie 40 minutes ago i know it like, it's like a Gigi Allen situation going on at the end of that movie. And it's awful.

June squib crawled inside Swartzen's stomach and ate her way North out the top of his head. And they didn't use that. That's only in the inside look. And nobody in the company, which is really sick. And I know it's been a hard year. It's like pandemic and the election.

And, but nobody in the comedy community is coming out to say anything about nick swartzen and the fact that he's dead and that he's his body was used as like a prop to be killed in this movie and i mean i know he gets sort of like used by the happy madison gang in various ways and it's sort of whatever that's that's i was happy for him but you'd think the comedy community would have come out and said something anything about nick swartzen and like but it's for like a blooper reel right like it's like you know basically in in the post credit in the fucking movie there's a quick thing where nick swartzen opens his mouth and it looks like he

has a second set of teeth behind his teeth and then you realize oh no that's june squibb's teeth and then she bursts out of his head yeah she won't i mean i it's a testament like i would love to hear from netflix when people turn that movie off because it has to be like a high percentage of people that turn it off after 30 minutes because they have those numbers i know what this is this is just this is another adam sandler thing i get it i don't really i'm not really in the mood for this kind of humor anymore but shit like if people knew what's at the end of that movie they would be out it would be over and that i mean i would think that the fbi would be interested in that too because there's got to be some laws being you would think but they're you know they're busy with other shit i

guess sure right russia russia hoax and whatever yeah yeah fucking yeah biden joe biden's emails force shit right no offense no he's got that six movie deal or whatever and so like guys like no they have to let him keep making them and it's gonna get sicker and sicker because now they've gotten away with it and now it's like well what you know what can we do next in terms of like eating humans on camera it's such a trojan horse he does that first 30 minutes and then sneaks in that sick stuff. So I don't know. I don't want to. I'd love to work with him.

I don't want to burn bridges with him. I'd kill to be eaten on camera by Adam Sandler. It would be an honor. If it's Buscemi eating me, I need my own trailer at least. But if it's Sandler, give me a day rate. Kevin, do you want to just, did you find a monologue? Yes, NBC removed it from their website, but I found someone

I believe filming their television. Okay, so you know this must be, hey, this must be a hot one. This is third rail stuff, man, because if they're pulling it down. Possibly talking about the war and stuff that they don't want. They usually brag about it about here yeah so let's see yeah it's great to be back so you can talk like that yeah and use your real voice the way he is

yeah yes all right i'll just do it let me just do do it in pieces. You play it and I'll get it back to you. Ready? Ready? It is so great to be back here hosting Saturday Night Live. It is so... Quiet, please. It is so great to be back here hosting Saturday Night Live. Okay. Yo, this year has been so amazing. I've been lucky to be in some great movies.

Hold it. Thank you. Yo, this year has been so amazing. I'm so lucky to have been in some great movies. This is great because you are, you're just Gordon Levitt. You were born in Los Angeles. You've lived there for your entire life, but you have this Brooklyn vibe. This authentic Brooklyn kind of Don john i there's no other

term for it that's just become the term it's this don john accent that you got into the part he got into the part and never got out movie looper come out oh yeah my film yo my film loopers come out yo Yo. Go ahead. I play a young version of Bruce Willis, so I guess I'm playing Ashton Kutcher. Okay. I play a young version of... Take it again. I play a young version of Bruce Willis, so I guess I'm Ashton Kutcher. So that's why, and now we know why that was pulled.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you don't fuck with Bruce like that. That sucks. Yeah, got his thumb on the skin. Because he's talking about cock stuff. He's only got, Bruce has only got so much patience for that shit. I wouldn't be surprised if Bruce came and beat the shit out of Joseph Gordon-Levitt at some point shortly after this live appearance.

I was also in The Dark Knight Rises. Yeah! I was also in the Dark Knight Rises Yeah You know what my favorite superhero movie of the summer was? Magic Mike Boom Bang I was also in the Dark

I was also in the Dark Knight Rises Yeah Yeah Golf Yes But you know what my favorite superhero movie of the summer was? Magic Mike. Okay.

I'm serious. My friend Channing Tatum was so great in that. And you know what my favorite part of Magic Mike was? This part. Oh, shit! Shit! Okay, well, I'm not

doing that. He took his shirt off and he does a just a ray it's just a radio just for yeah we could do it big all right fine fine fine uh and no my friend uh taylor what's his name uh taylor higgs what's his name taylor higgs he did such a great job and you know what my favorite part of that movie was and then we can just have the pixels right move around in a suggestive way you can do like a nipple really easily with just the pixels on that screen and we just do like yeah a couple nipples and they're just like kind of bouncing around on there that kind of thing going on there perfect that's great that's perfect i have shatner's ready if you want to hear that uh okay

okay tim was kind of over it but oh yeah we could stop too i remember that jacket no it's just tim tim was over it he pretty clearly indicated he was over it and i and actually i agreed with him. Is that like a hunting jacket that he's wearing? It's like a camouflage hunting jacket. He looks good, man. How old is he at this point right now? Can you tell?

This is 1986. Okay, 1986. What year was he born? 1940, probably? 1940 something? Mm-hmm. we're looking at a man who's I'm going to guess he's about 48 here born in 31

55 he's 55 here hey okay we've got some I've got some good living to do he's looking very good except his hands look awful. Right. And the wig doesn't look like,

obviously is a wig, but. That skin's falling off his face as well. There's G.E. Smith back there. That's a good band. I mean, we talk about bands for a sec, like when you're talking about bands,

you know, E Street band, fucking Beatles, the band, Dead, Grateful Dead, people love. Jefferson, not Jefferson, like, you know, the Stones, the band Dead, Grateful Dead people love. Jefferson, not Jefferson, like, you know, the Stones, the Who.

I'm going SNL, G.E. Smith. G.E. Smith era. That's my Halloween costume. Man, that is such a good band. I wish I could have seen them live, like, out of that studio, like, on the road. They're killing it. Dude. Killing it.

This was the time, man, when music was still damn music it was none of this auto-tune crap you know it would what i don't know if you know about this like in the 80s when like probably this year this this era the carvey carvey years the east street band i mean the uh ge smith band sorry would jam from like on a saturday on a show day they would they'd get in there they would jam and like that like big time ge smith freaks would know this and they'd show up super early and the band would start warming up and they would play from like noon till eight and then there would be the dress rehearsal and blah blah but then after the show they played until sunrise they would play all the way in through like breakfast um after the show and people would

stick around and party and it would turn into this fucking unbelievable uh session and those guys none of that i mean there's been a few like bootleg recordings of it but some of that stuff like that post show ge smith and the band jamming is some of the greatest music i've ever heard and and blood would be shooting out of his saxophone because they play for so long they played so hard like explode it would they played in that crescendo like you hear it here in the shot in the shatner bit that the whole like like that was kind of the that was kind of like where they were that was like the level they were at the whole time no he would hold that he would hold that and he just like made this wall of sound

it's really it's really unbelievable yeah he would hold that note for four or five hours it was when lenny pickett showed up that it was over for me it's like okay now this show is more about oh yeah yeah it's like teenage girls or whatever yeah it's like about these like hot guys on stage it got really really stiff really quick this guy who is more famous for like so now oh now who's he dating this week oh now he's dating demi lovato or whatever right and it's like what are you actually what about what happens on the show why is it suddenly more about this guy's private life? Who's he dicking down, right? It's like, I'm sorry.

I hate that stuff. GE, which, by the way, you know, is like the guy, you know, you're talking about GE at General Electric. Like, that's what we're talking about when we talk about GE, you know, light bulbs. No, honestly, yes. Came from money, didn't have to work a day in his life, but actually the energy and was the life force yeah kicked ass some and then yeah it was the it was like the greatest most artistic flow of music and then it just became really stiff really lame really fast when he left and it's a commercial teeny bopper stuff like when you get michael mckean coming into that cast you get chris elliott you get sarah silverman that that era that's when things got mark you know mark mckinney the mute you notice that the music gets it gets really lame really boring really fast extremely air

is out of the balloon you know oh so uh uh rudy giuliani's pants tucking in technique his shirt tucking style that could be a halloween costume great um what about uh borat that would be funny to dress up to really funny we're at two we're at two borat's old so borat two could be a funny one if you do borat two i like it mask as of underwears how about a uh how about jeffrey tubin's penis now that would be funny to see jeffrey tubin's penis jeffrey tubin's penis jeffrey tubin's uh tube sock that he's masturbating into would that would be something okay yeah t-o-o-b one thing i never hear and we're talking about this right it's in all these stories did he finish do we ever hear this no people are so uncomfortable around sex in this country you're telling me

that that no one even asked none of these journalists even asked a European journalist it would be the first question they ask but in this country so so so you uh you uh were spanking the monkey have you finished finished? Did you finish? Is it a good wank? Of course. That's how they'd handle it. That's exactly how they'd handle it. Cheeseburger choice.

Go. Cheeseburger choice. Cheeseburger. Cheeseburger. Cheeseburger. I got to go shack shake. Shack shake. One of the classic.

The long line. Almost better than the food. So good. smash burgers are the only way to go i hate these people that are sort of like oh i want a big thick burger no you don't get the fuck out of here you want to smash on it i ought to fuck you you go fuck yourself piece of shit yeah big thick burger. What are you going to fat burger? Fuck you. Fuck you. I hope you fucking die. Kill you.

I mean, I like it all, though. I like Burger King. Kill your ass. I like all the food. Yeah, I like it, too. Whopper Jr. Kind of a great oxymoron. Isn't that one of the great was the great the great comic george

carlin go ahead yes yes the best he's going to go okay so the modern man yeah i love that he goes uh i walk into a burger king and they go uh uh we got a new item here called the whopper junior i go huh oh yes no he's the best and they're like it's just a smaller version of the original whopper, so that's why they call it a junior. I'm like, what? Then maybe don't call it a Whopper. Yeah.

I mean, what the hell? And then they got Jumbo Shrimp. Jumbo Shrimp? What? I love George Carlin. He goes, what? I seen the inside of an outhouse. I seen the outside of a Days Inn.

Nobody parks in a parking lot, and they drive on a parkway. It's like it is nuts when you think about it. He makes such a good point. It's fucked up. There's no difference between Democrats and Republicans. That's a great bit. There's no difference between a Republican and a Democrat. It's all about the money, he would say.

It's all about the money. would say it's all about the money and like commercials talking about like so many commercials oh my god he's going on what i love his bit he goes uh i used to memorize all this stuff he go haven't we seen enough commercials and they killed him they killed him they killed bill h. One by one, they killed all of them for thought crime. And if I'm Dennis Leary, I'm looking over my fucking shoulder, brother. Oh, he is a marked man. Because he's being honest. Don't stand too close.

That's all. Don't stand too close to Dennis Leary. Right, right. Because they might not make that perfect kill. But they did with Lenny Bruce. Yes. That was some tainted junk, they say, that he stuck up his arm. And same with Jimi Hendrix.

Hot shot, strict knife. Jimi Hendrix was on his way to, I don't know if you guys know this, Jimi Hendrix was transitioning out of music and into stand-up comedy. Yeah, to like conscious comedy. You can hear it in his lyrics in the later songs as he started to sort of make these little observations about language yeah well there's a great great routine he does and what if six was nine uh you know whatever the rest of the rest is the castle's made of sand uh float to the sea eventually you know it's all kind of observational interesting stuff but jim varney took it and ran with it because hey joe became hey vern right yeah you know it's like people don't talk about that

and it's coming for mazel too i mean like you can see just kind of in the background mrs mazel and like mrs bullseye she's got a fucking giant target on her ass car they are going to hey calling going to eliminate her. What are they going to do with that show though? Because at some point the show is going to catch up with the actual person,

like the narrative, right? Right. So at some point they're going to have to figure out how to do that. Are they going to actually tell the story beyond what's happening in real life?

I really even don't know. Tim, I couldn't be less concerned. I trust them implicitly. I get it. I understand you have a question. Literally, I trust i trust that team with my life no i know and if there's anyone who can handle it it's them so i honestly i'm excited for when that challenge arises because it's coming because like literally i don't know what year it was but like their next season is going to have to i think start overlapping with the real characters real life so i don't know yes and they absolutely will tackle it with their trademark charm grace humor

and i would like to know what i guess my point is i'd like to know what mazel thinks about the whole thing you know miss mazel like what she thinks and is is that changing the way she behaves because it's going to affect the show i don't know i really don't know yeah and for the thousandth time i actually hear your question i understand it uh it's not an issue of me being confused by it what i'm telling you is if you ask it again i will end the show okay well maybe that's a good idea yeah we Yeah, we have to do it anyway. Yeah. We got what we need, honestly, with the bumpers and stuff. Yeah, you're good.

I think we can call it. Well, clue me in when this deal comes together. It sounds like something I'm going to have to be pretty interested in. We're not even going to know. They're not going to tell us. It'll just be happening. They'll stitch it up. So just listen in the car, I guess. It'll be on, yeah.

Yeah. Is it going to be anywhere near raw dog comedy when i turn on my dial turn my dial as it'd be that that like area of the serious spectrum it'll be quite a bit higher actually tim in the dial yeah it'll be a much larger number than raw dog comedy that's actually a really big channel for them right dog is moving to one channel one you start on raw dog and if for some reason you ever need to switch it you might then you might find tim except channel one is like half raw dog and half like here's how to use your radio set up set up instructions yeah and the album

there's an album as well tim yes uh there's always an album fear of death available everywhere now good at sam goody uh or hollywood video wherever you use it land suncoast suncoast has been great sun strawberries suncoast has been great strawberries is not not handling it this cycle but but Suncoast has been awesome. One of the fruit ones. Coconuts has it. Coconuts has taped CDs, and they now are selling USB drives, too, with the record on it. Okay.

You can put it in there. Bye. Bye. I'm out. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.