Hollywood Handbook - Tom Scharpling and Will Hines, Our Third Host Audition

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

TOM SCHARPLING returns for another attempt to become the third host with guest WILL HINES. This episode is sponsored by Honey (www.joinhoney.com/theboys), NHTSA, and Raycon (www.buyraycon.com/theboys).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. How do you feel? You feel good? You feel, like, comfortable? Yeah. No, no, this is good. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm stoked. You feel, like, ready?

I'm ready. You look, you look like you got a good night's sleep and stuff. I did, yes. Let's just go over, we've done a bunch of these. Let's just go over, like, the basic ground rules. This is not to be released, obviously. like a this is like basically a screen test but for the podcast uh we've put a bunch of people in the like third host chair and done like try these out uh none of them really worked out who have we um brought in to

who has done this in the past? Basically, well, if you remember when Craig Ferguson replaced Craig Kilborn, everyone kind of got to do a week in the seat. And surprisingly, we reached in the exact same bag. Damien Fahey. It was Michael Ian Black. It was Damien Fahey. It was...

DL? The usual suspect, yeah. The skeleton? it was DL the usual suspect yeah the skeleton the skeleton got to sit down and then they ultimately decided that yes he should be a part of the show but no he shouldn't be the main one because he's scaring the shit out of people Orrin Hatch

and these did not they did not make the cut? they said no Orney Adams uh and these did not they did not make the cut they said no okay they orny adams orny adams also said no so they went through the whole process and then at the when it came time to like actually work out a deal they did uh turn down okay okay gotcha gotcha retta retta okay so basically what we do is julie klausner yeah we have uh you know the third you sit in the chair we do it just like a normal episode yeah yeah um we bring in uh you know will hines is here to be the guest um hello. Trial by fire, Tom. That's what it is. And part of me wants to apologize

for subjecting you to the most difficult Wicked Will, the nastiest man I've ever interacted with. You know how they say about New York City, if you can make it here, you can

make it anywhere. Well, if you can host a show with Will, you could probably make it in New York City or something. Sure, sure. Well, I mean, guys, look, I'm— I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear any of that. I come to this humble. How mean. No.

No. I'm coming to this with humility, but I also do know one thing. Mm-hmm. I'm the best. Okay. That's good. Humility is good because he will humiliate you. Okay.

He will bury you. The only question is how deep. If Will sniffs one shred of ego, he hunts it down. He exposes it. He rips it out of you and holds it up for the whole world to see okay and then he like has sex with it in front of your friends should i pretend that i'm not in the studio yet there's no pretending that's we're just talking we're just talking about that it's not even for release you've done so many of these. Yeah. And this is why Walt hasn't been on the show in a long time

because he's in here like a couple times a week doing these. Anyway, when he's finished having sex with a piece of ego, then he goes like, you want to go for a drive or something down the coast? And he puts the ego in the car with him and they just go and just talk. They pull over somewhere in Malibu and just kind of walk along the coast

and just think about like what a crazy ride it's been from having been inside of you, getting sniffed out, getting found, getting pulled up, exposed, held up, getting had sex with. Yeah. Like. That sounds right.

Before even like a real conversation, the sex, but then this very like intimate romantic. Before you know it, the sun, but then it's very like intimate, romantic. Before you know it, the sun's coming up. It's funny to hear people describe you from the outside. I, of course, don't see myself in this way exactly. I can see what they're saying, but that's not my experience, Tom. Okay, okay. We're just going to be friends.

I'm not talking to you yet because I'm feeling like when you tell me you're ready for me to talk to you, I will talk to you. I see. Well, I've done a lot of these screen tests and they're just a blast and a ball and I have a good time and it's just chatting with friends. He's the only one. Okay. Well, he's the only one who is. Has a good time. Okay.

Yeah. So we play the song. We do a little fake like talk thing we do I'm excited about this I think it's gonna be fun Tom I'm looking forward to it I think it's one of the

biggest mistakes we made that isn't a problem for you okay the little fake talk thing we do I think has been a big part of why people immediately are out on the show when they try

because they're just like what is this like so but just bear that in mind you have to do it. Okay.

I'm ready. Look, I'm here. And I'm going to say this in terms of me getting buried. It's like, uh, it's like, uh,

it's like, uh, um, uh, a kill bill, kill bill. Oh, right.

Which part? The, I'll punch my way out of the fucking coffin. Oh yeah. What was my least favorite part of those two movies? Everything else I bought. The Pussy Wagon? Pussy Wagon felt non-contrived to me.

I liked that. Uma Thurman having to wiggle her toe like 18 different times I thought was organic and earned. Daryl Hannah's eye yeah she like has her eyes got torn out yeah

that I liked I got a joke for that later so if we can just thread that through later which part if somebody can mention Daryl Hannah's eye yeah

in the actual body of the show yeah yeah okay can I hear what the joke is so I know whether I want to bring it up okay I'll work it in then okay thanks you can stop anytime Can I hear what the joke is so I know whether I want to bring it up? Okay, I'll work it in then.

You can stop anytime. We will assemble it together. Just file a stop request with Engineer Devin and he will process it. Have you guys ever used that sound effect from Kill Bill for a comedic effect on this show? Which one? The one I was doing comes first. Should I call you sir or what should I do with this? comedic effect on this show? Which one? Oh, that one too. The one I was doing comes first. Should I call you sir, or what should I do with this? Just call me Will, man. We're just friends.

Will, man. I'm addressing you as man. That could be a t-shirt. Just call me Will, man. That's helpful, I guess. We're having a good time. I'm just a friend, and it's easy peasy. And we're obviously hosting too. It's like a three host setup. We're here, but yeah, we're having a good time. I'm just a friend, and it's easy peasy. And we're obviously hosting, too. It's like a three-host setup. We're here, but, yeah, we also want to give you room.

Is that the arrangement you're looking for, Tom, to be the third host or replacing him? Yes, well, this is every single one. Okay, I just can't. I never know. Every time they do one of these, I'm like, are you taking over or are you looking to add? It's a third host thing.

Because people think there's not enough talking over each other or something they want something they want more is what they say look it's i look at it along the lines of the great sports dynasties i always have three great people when it's what lebron wade and bosh right yeah or lebron kairi love love yep or LeBron, Kyrie, Love. Love, yep. Ruth Gehrig and I'm out. Or in the booth, Michaels and Madden or whoever and Dennis Miller. Or Dennis Miller or Rush Limbaugh. Or Rush.

Doesn't work with just two. So we've been trying, and I think this could be... I see. I think this could be... And we have not started yet? No. This is setting up. It's when the song plays.

Roger that. I intentionally did not interrupt you when you were saying this, because it's not what we do on this show, but when you said, do people feel like there's not enough talking over each other? We actually don't do that on this show. So you did have room to say that, and you'll have room to say other things that are

completely inaccurate. Point taken. Don't talk over me. Noted. That's the kind of thing. I'm ready. I'm ready. This is great. I can't wait either. I'm excited. Okay. Ready? And if you file a start request,

then we will be asked so that we can sort of begin that process. What's his name again? Devin. Devin. Devin. Can we get a start request going, please? Yep. For the episode audition?

Yeah. A song like Devon. What? For like Levon? I don't know the lyrics. You don't know the song? No. But what did you say?

I think I said, and it sounds like. And it sounds like Devon. And it shall be a Devon. That's what his name sounds like. And he shall be a Devon. Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

Sure. Devon records podcasts. Oh, dear wolf. All right. Messes up a lot to say. Ready for it? Good man. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm excited. Me too. Here we go. Usually come in by now. You should have started. Yes. You should have already started.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. have already started. It's Hollywood Handbook. What happened? No, we do the... You have to do... You're finishing up a fake story. Can we go back and... Do I have to file a stop request? I'll wave the...

Did you say what up when it started? I got really tight on that one. I'm sorry. If we could start over. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. Thanks.

Bonus. Good. Mm-hmm. So it was me, and I'm walking down the street with Barack Obama. That pause made it feel real. And I forgot his name for a second because I call him Barry, but I forget what his full name is

because we're tight. I call him Barry. It's me, Barack Obama, and the bagel boss. And he's like, I don't know why these women won't date me. And then Barack Obama's just like, he just said, just stop being so angry, dude. So what up, what up?

Great. Yeah. Yeah. Really good. Good story. If I blew that one. No, no, no. Will tried to throw you off a little bit.

And we don't know. The guest doesn't even jump in on the story. Okay. Good. Do you want to do one more? I blew that one. No, no, no. Will tried to throw you off a little bit. And we don't know. The guest doesn't even need to jump in on the story. Okay. Good note. Do you want to do one more? Sure. Let me get ready for this one. It's good to get this out now.

This is so fair. Get it out of the way now. That was me clearing my throat. Well, now Will knows. You've got your thing. I mean, yeah, it could be the same story. The story kicked ass. It was really funny.

I mean, I usually hear him referred to as the bagel boss guy. Yes, that's right. Because the place is called the bagel boss. I had the same thought. I had the same thought. Okay. All right.

Barack Obama, kind of a, I fucked up on that one. Well, can I get a file start, a stop request and then a restart, please. And I won't be involved in this at all.

We made it to the end, so you don't need to do a stop request. That's already happened. If you could replay the theme, that would be great. Sure, sure. I'm going to stay up. So it's me and Matt LeBlanc. And we are at a baseball card show.

And Matt is looking for a Billy Ripken fuckface card, which he has wanted his whole career. And we go to the table, and who's at the table but Cal Ripken signing autographs. And then Joey goes up to him, and he goes, how you doing? And then he goes, you want me to sign your bat for you? And he goes, nice. What up, what up? Wait, wait. We talk about the story for a second.

So he was going to look for a Billy Ripken. So Matt LeBlanc, who then became Joey in the middle of the story, was looking for a Billy Ripken card. And he was a baseball player in Ed. So he is like a baseball. As Monkey played baseball. Monkey played baseball, yeah. But he's going to look for a Billy Ripken flex face card.

And then you go to the table. Yeah. Okay. Well, there's not much of a line for Cal Ripken autographs anymore. You can kind of walk up at this point. Okay. Okay. So you went to the car,

you went to the card show to find this card, but then it's like, oh, look, it's his brother. It so happens that his brother is there. And he said, what? You want to sign my bat? Do you want to sign my bat?

You want me to sign your bat or something like that? Yeah. And he said, nice. Nice. Closer. It was closer. That was so, I mean, I think we can your bat or something like that. Yeah. And he said, nice. Nice. Nice. Closer. It was closer.

That was so, I mean. I think we can keep going. I was jealous. Yeah. Let's move on from that. Yeah. Okay. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names in

the Red Carpet Lineback Hallways of this Industry we call Showbiz. Yeah. Will Hines. Hey. Will Hines. Today's guest. Yay. And of course, we're being supervised by engineer Devin.

Hey, kind of looks like Devon, doesn't it? And you shall be a Devon. That's good. That's funny. Will, what's some different stuff? Different stuff? Let's catch up. What's some of the- Not catch up. Not a lot.

Not a lot's going on with me. I'm in a non-bullet point phase of my life. Things don't coalesce well into easily summarized things. I'm just sort of very foggy right now in my life and the things that are going on. Should I say something? Talk, yes. Steer him out of the... Okay.

You have to get something out of it. So let's talk about these bullet points. Oh, I don't have any. You said not bullet points. I don't have any. Why don't you have any? You know, I guess life is just a gray area, you know? Well, let's not make it so gray.

Let's go through your life and make it better. Wow. Okay. Let's see what's happening. Well, I teach improv. You teach improv. Okay. Well, that it better. Wow. Okay. Let's see what's happening. Well, I teach improv. You teach improv. Okay. Well, that's cool.

Yeah. Who's the greatest improviser of all time? No idea. I get asked that a lot. I have no idea. There's no answer to that question. You know, nobody really. That's hard.

Nobody? It's a matter of taste. Yeah. It's so subjective. It's just sort of like, what are your criteria? What context? You know what I mean? Are we talking?

Which politicians would be good improvisers if they were UCB students? None. None. Yeah. Not a one. They would be,

they would be non-starters to a man and woman. Any pets? Do you have any pets? I do. I have a cat. What's your cat's name? Hopi.

Hopi. Where's that come from? It's a comic book, Love and Rockets. I like it very much. Gilbert. It's a kind of Native American person as well, right? Oh, yeah. Hopi.

The Hopi tribe. Yeah. That's like a- But you don't acknowledge that. You don't honor them with the cat's name. Yeah. So, that's not from when Sarah Palin was like, how's the Hopi changey thing going?

You weren't like a big Sarah Palin thing. No, it's not an alt-right pet naming situation. Okay. No. Well, that's good. Yeah. A comic book that I liked in the late 80s that nobody read. Sure.

And I still like it, and I named it. Gilbert. Hernandez. Arenas. No. Close. I'll sign the, just like write up the shop across we I'll sign the just like write up the stop across

I'll sign it then can I put one in thanks so we got to the Will's Pets much earlier than we normally I felt it

that's kind of an end of the show thing that we usually do what I liked you bringing up politicians as improvisers.

When Will shuts that down, you steamroll over him and start doing improv as different politicians. You just, you got to have the impressions loaded up. I'm ready. I'm ready. And you got to get, you know, get the suggestion and do the whole thing. I know. Can I ask you guys a question just so that I'm doing my part for you guys? Am I coming in too hot?

You're doing exactly what you always do. Okay, which is exactly why we bring you here. Okay. Because this is the thing. Will is not going to give it to you. It's hard. You have to go get it and rip it away. I feel the wall on this. Okay.

Just making sure. You guys let me know. Psyched to be here. Excited for the show. So we'll punch in at what point now on this? Do we want to do the song again? Yes. Let's do the song one more time.

We'll introduce Will. Yes. Okay, here we go. And I'll fill in some of the details to make the story better. That would be so nice. That's great. Yeah. Yeah.

hey so it's me and matt leblanc and we are at a baseball card sorry we don't have to start it over but when so when you go like hey so it's we feel like you're finishing up a story like you're not talking to them. Okay. The idea is that we're talking and then we'll do the show. Okay. So it's, it's just that the energy is. Fair enough.

Now I get it. And then save the hey for. Yes. Yeah. I have the elements. I'm putting them in the wrong order. Exactly. Exactly.

That was a good note. Devin, can we do a stop request, please? He's got all the tools. Yes. Sorry to stop, but yeah, we can do a start request. And then start request. It's a good note. Devin, can we do a stop request, please? He's got all the tools. Yes. Sorry to stop, but yeah, we can do a start request. And then start request. It's a union thing.

Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. So good. It's me, Tom, and I'm with Matt LeBlanc, and we are at a baseball card convention, and Matt is looking to get his hand. Was he looking for the baseball card of his player from Ed? No, actually, that's funny.

Or do you want the monkeys card? No, no, he has those because he worked on the film. He was one of the first to get those things because they were props. And he's a big collector of memorabilia from the movies and shows. From his own movie? Yes. Okay. But in our story, we were at a baseball card convention.

He was looking for a Billy Ripken fuckface card. And what's that? It's a baseball card where Billy Ripken, the, uh, legendary lesser brother of, uh, of, uh, major league baseball, uh, Ironman Cal Ripken.

He wrote on the heel of his bat, uh, fuck face. He wrote it on his own bat. And it ended up in the photo on a baseball card. And so Matt really wanted Ironman, uh, Robert Downey Jr.

Cal Ripken. Who's your Iron Man? Well, they're both dead to me. Oh. So anyway, we're at the thing. We're going from table to table. And Matt's starting to get very irritated. Because he's like, none of these people have the fuck face card.

What am I going to do here? And then I notice over at the other side cal ripken is signing autographs like matt that's his brother let's go see if he's got uh the inside track on what did he keep from episodes and he said he collects a lot of memorabilia like what kind of stuff is matt hanging on to from episodes the scripts that got shot out of the sky and the pages that fell in the ocean they shot the scripts yeah i love that theme i always just play that one in the morning to get kind of pumped up but that's neither here nor there we go up to the table and and matt's like do you think he knows who i am i'm like matt Matt, everybody knows Friends. And he goes up to the table as Cal Ripken.

It's not much of a line because everybody, by this point, everybody's got a Cal Ripken autograph. Who wants one? And the show was not in Baltimore. So he goes up. Where was it? It was in Corpus Christi, Texas. Big military town.

Yes. Well, we were doing a thing for the USO also. We put on shows, me and Matt. Making fun of them. Entertaining the troops. Yeah. Well, we belittle the troops. We're kind of like, we get the troops wound up.

Get them mad enough to really go and punch and beat up everybody. We're the last people they see before the troops ship out. Just get them. We're the last people they see before the troops ship out. Just get them. And they're so irritated that they're just ready to mow everyone down. Yeah, you rile them up. Yeah. That's smart.

So then we go up to the table. And I was like, of course he knows friends. And then he goes up and he goes, how are you doing? And then Cal Ripken goes, what can i help you with chief and the chief was he did not think of him as a chief the way he said it we had a very pointed edge to it and i said my friend here uh wants to get his hands on your brother's uh fuck face card and he said uh do I look like Billy Ripken? Yeah, and you said, well, kind of. A little bit.

Yeah, a little bit. Sort of. Family resemblance. And then he said, how you doing? Again. Yeah, he's still trying. He's still trying it. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook and Insider's Guide to Kicking Butt and Dropping Names. In the red carpet line back hallways of this industry, we call showtimes.

Will Hines. What up? What up? Will Hines is here. What what up what up what up will thank you for coming back to the show my pleasure wait was that too you didn't like keep going go go go what is going on in your life not too much not too much just keeping on keeping on i don't i think this what up thing needs to be cleared up though did Did I step on your thing? Fuck it. I thought I was giving it a little bit of echo.

Just keep going. I'm sorry. Your thing is what up, what up? Come on. We can't. Yes, we can't. Fuck it. Not a lot going on with me. Just sort of enjoying my time. Having happy days.

Now, Will, you're an improviser, right? That's correct, yes. And you teach improv? Yep, that's right. I do, at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. What do you feel, who do you think would be the greatest improviser in the world of politics? Anyone? Nobody.

Hmm, well, that's interesting. They're all bad. Because I think a few politicians could be pretty good at it. Like, for one, Mr. Ronald Reagan. What? I need a first word, last word. Okay, first word, banana. Last word, schadenfreude.

Okay, where are we? Laundromat. Laundromat? What era? When I teach, I usually don't give this much setup. Let's say late 80s. Late 80s laundromat. Banana to schadenfreude.

Okay. Well, banana. You have a second word. Well, well's not a word for him. I got it. Banana. It's more of a tick. This coin machine won't work.

I got to fill the dryer. Mr. Gorbachev, I need change for a $5 bill. Schadenfreude. Wow. Pretty good, yeah. I guess Reagan would be, maybe that proves me wrong. I guess Reagan would be, was that somebody doing Reagan or him in an improv class doing? Okay.

That's Reagan. If Ronald Reagan was in a class and he did that, I actually think that would be a very fine first scene for somebody. You know? That's what, it was Reagan doing that in an improv class. It wasn't Reagan in a laundromat. Is Ronald Reagan taking an improv class trying to do the exercise or some unknown student in an improv class impersonating Ronald Reagan in a laundromat.

Oh, no, it was Ronald Reagan. Yeah. Kind of playing himself in an improv scene in a class. He was never told he wasn't Ronald Reagan. Yeah, and I think that's a good assumption. I would say that would be a good scene for Ronald. Do you tell your improv students that? Like, you're not you in this.

I don't normally have to. Most students, we don't know a lot about them. Have you had celebrity students before? I have. And have they played themselves? Who's the biggest name you've had, Will? Let's see. I said, who's the biggest one, though?

The biggest name that I've ever had. Do you know Mr. Paul Welsh? Ah. He has a couple lines in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Do you know? Yeah, you just said. He's one of the Hard Brothers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You just said. He's one of the hard brothers. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's actually. He's an Earwolf podcast co-host. Well, he's proving that politicians can be good improvisers too, right? Yep. Yep. Yeah. I had him.

Who else have I had? I subbed a class that Abby Jacobson was in as a student. Ah. One of the two Broad City. She was never my student, but I subbed a class once where she was a student. What's the deal with that? Is that

prearranged? Is there like a piece of paper people say, hey, I'm not going to be able to make the class? Who can fill in for me? Does an email go around? That's how it happens i said like three different things email goes around okay who can cover this and then you answer i can and then you do it okay and then do they usually write back say thanks i owe you one no they'll just be like you've got it they'll confirm that you're doing it

and do you kind of let if they don't say thanks, does that kind of like, do you harbor a grudge with that? I have no emotional attachment to any part of this interaction. Okay. Hey, Devin, I'm going to put a stop request in.

Yep. So, this is just, at Earwolf, we do a lot of like, wordplay stuff. That's sort of like, it's top down.

That's a union thing as well. When Will said that he subbed a class, there's an opportunity to talk about subs and doms and S&M-type sex stuff and kind of get Will to open up. Yeah, that would be funny. Is Devin in Whip Sounds? I can get some Whip Sounds.

You can get some Whip Sounds. Yeah, do you have a request? Can I file a... SFX. Yeah, an FX request, please. Sure, on it. But yeah, and then you can get into asking Will if he's into some kinky shit

and maybe try to get him to open up a little bit about some of his boudoir picadillos. It's just a juicy thing that people could hear on the podcast. And then like Subway, like sandwich artists, why do they call it an artist? Yeah. Like that kind of stuff. Guys, when you do these notes,

I'm pretending I don't hear them so that I can be a good test subject. Okay. Thank you. Hollywood handbook. Be a better you in 2024 with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works.

Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say, like, hey, I trust you. I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm use and care about but there's one language that i'm trying to learn and that's body language so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks.

Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations, and that includes body-based conversations. What does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of draw draw it towards them. They're pulling it. What does that mean? Does their finger hurt?

I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates and I need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on it may be almost yeah and they're

standing in the middle and as i'm driving and i'm cruising they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost and they're really aggressively like pushing it out i'm like am i supposed to drive get out of the car yes or just do it out the window as i'm going that's what i've been doing dangerous yeah but some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners i'm sure babble's tips and tools are approachable accessible rooted in real life situations at which i have all the time and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others. Can't feel good to be others there.

Continued to prove Babbel is better. One study found that using Babbel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. Babbel has over 60 million subscriptions sold. All of their 14 award-winning language courses are backed by their 20-day money-back guarantee. Here's a special limited-time deal for our listeners. Right now, get 55% off your Babbel subscription,

but only for our listeners, at babbel.com slash the boys. Get 55% off at babbel.com slash the boys, spelled B-A-B-E-L dot com slash the boys. B-A-b-e-l dot com slash the boys b-a-b-b-e-l b-a-b-b-e-l dot com slash the boys rules and restrictions may apply with babbel we can't promise it'll always be easy but you'll always be glad you did it. Kind of like this podcast, except it is easy for me.

Eating better is easy with factors, delicious, ready to eat meals. Every fresh, never frozen meal is chef crafted, dietician approved, ready to go in just two minutes. Speaking of ready to go in just two minutes, chef Kevin is here with his new show,

the chef Kevin factor, where he creates fresh never frozen meals now this is different kevin i just want to i just want to establish it's none of this like here's a like a pile of ingredients like this is the meal the meal has to be ready it's not a recipe okay this is the meal you cook the full meal for us now okay yeah you don't just send us a bunch of stuff you had laying around in your cabinet you're actually doing the cooking and there are 35 different options to choose from every week including calorie smart protein plus and keto which is this it's a little bit of all of them okay okay it shouldn't be there are also more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day long how many add-ons and what are some of

them it's one big add-on and it's you on your bed you're so tired after you eat my meal the promises the meal makes us sleepy you've been pushing that so much you're saying that you will be added on to your bed. Yeah. Your bed plus one. That's the opposite of what this is supposed to do. It's supposed to help you stay fueled up and feel good all day long. A lot of these, I know, give you a ton of energy.

They have smoothies and things like that. This is wrong. Reservation for two? Me walking in my bedroom. What's the second? It's you and your bed? The bed. I got clippy.

Fuel up fast with with factors restaurant quality meals that are ready to heat and eat wherever you are pancake smoothies and more discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast midday bites and more no we didn't even this is absolutely this is not even up for consideration so let's just hear what the actual meal what was the food i don't want to go to bed it's's very simple. It's one huge chicken nugget. Sign up and save. We've done the math. Factor is less expensive than takeout.

Every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious. Head to factormeals.com slash theboys50 and use code theboys50 to get 50% off. That's code theboys50 at factormeals.com to get on the phone with customer service the subscriptions are insidious they're the scourge of our modern life and you never realize what you're subscribing to or that you're still being charged i know that i was about 19 dresses into receiving each one of the 27 dresses from the movie 27 dresses before i found out how much it was costing yes that they intended to send me by the way you'll this will shock you 54 dresses if i did not cancel and i you know by like dress 14 15 i think it starts to become clear like these aren't the dresses

oh no they were not from the movie they didn't resemble anything from the movie they were not they were either way too big or way too small for a human to wear yeah and one of them was a dressing yeah one of them was it was it was a vinaigrette it was a raspberry vinaigrette it was a french raspberry vinaigrette dressing they'll even try to get you a refund for the last couple months of wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20 all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and rocket money takes care of the rest they have over 5 million users and have helped save its members an average of 720 a year with over 500 million dollars in canceled

subscriptions and that was i mean just to be fully transparent that 500 million was most of that was the the dresses well yeah i mean you're talking about hollywood memorabilia you're talking about like ornate gowns you know in some cases and so that was uh yeah that was costing me a lot a lot a lot stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash the boys that's rocketmoney.com slash the boys rocketmoney.com slash the boys hollywood handbook so let's i don't think we have to go all the way back. Let's just do the song. Not all the way back, but you are doing the song?

We'll do the song, but we don't have to go all the way through. I don't think we have to tell him what we're doing. I see. We've been doing it for a while. We just do the song. We don't have to leave the room and come back in, but we'll just sit here. We'll do the song.

Not all the way back, but the song at the beginning of the show. The song from the beginning, yeah. Okay. I just want to point out, so it's not all just notes. I noticed the second time you told the Ripken story, the do you want me to sign your bat line from Cal Ripken fell out. I think that was great. It made no sense the first time it was in there.

Oh, you liked the cut. Yes, great cut. I did not like it the first time. There was no sense that he had a bat initially. He's looking for a baseball card. Oh, yeah. I didn't know what the fuck you were talking about when you said it the first time. And the fact that it wasn't there, I didn't even miss it.

Hayes, thanks for pointing it out. Because, you know, that comes from writing stuff. There's always the phrase, kill children. Wow. Yeah. I don't know if people say it that way or make that face when they say it. But I do think there's a variation on that that's popular. Because the cat gets in the tree.

Yep. And then you kill a child. Then you're at the premiere. That's what I've always heard. Okay, and so let's just get to the idea of subbing in for an improv class as soon as possible with this next version. Do I have to do the Reagan thing first, though? I think we can do that. Get to that really fast.

And I think maybe a different politician. You don't even need to get the suggestions. I could get a different politician going. Yeah, that could be good. Here we go. Here we go. Fucking hit it, man. Do it. Start it over again, please. Just we want to get the suggestions. I could get a different politician going. Okay. Yeah, that could be good. Here we go. Here we go. Fucking hit it, man. Do it.

Start it over again, please. Just we want to be able to. Okay. It's got to come clean. Okay. And I'm not going to do what I put up this time. You can just do it. So it's me and Matt LeBlanc.

And we are at a baseball card convention in Corpus Christi, Texas. Good. And because we're doing USO shows where we rile the troops up to get them really mad, so they kill non-Americans. Uh-huh. And we're at this show, and Matt really wants to get his mitts, no pun intended, on a Billy Ripken fuckface card, a legendary misprint of a baseball card that had the word fuckface written on the heel of his bat. Yeah. We're at the show. We're going from table to table.

We can't come up with one. And then I noticed that Cal Ripken, the brother of Billy Ripken, is what? Go ahead. It wasn't a misprint. What's that? It was a photo with profanity in it, but it wasn't a misprint. Well, in the scheme of that it should not have happened, it was a misprint. Can we start over?

Got a stop request. Can I file a stop request? Yeah, we're running out of those, too. We're going to go over. Yeah, print some more later. Where's Kevin today? He should be printing. Yeah.

And who knew he had so much money, Kevin? That's the other thing. That has been big. And since we found that out, he has really just vanished from the show. Yeah, it's weird, right? Yeah. We ride the same bus line. But he owns it. Yeah, he's weird, right? We ride the same bus line. But he owns it.

Yeah, he owns the bus. This is the kind of thing. It's good that he rides on the show. He's doing undercover boss shit on that bus. Putting on a bus hat. But this bus line stuff, that's juicy. Now you know something about Will. Yes, that's good.

That's rare that we ever get to that in one of these tests. That's probably the best stuff he's given us. Okay, that's juicy. Now you know something about Will. Yes. That's good. That's rare that we ever get to that in one of these tests. That's probably the best stuff he's given us. Okay, let's go. Will, have you ever done improv on the bus? No, no, no, no. We're jumping the line a little bit. I understand why you're excited, but we do have to do. That's a great question, though.

Just tell the story really quick. Okay, here we go. to do? That's a great question though. Just tell the story really quick and then we can get into it. Do I talk during this ever? I don't talk. Does a guest talk during these ever? Occasionally they do only when they don't know what the fuck is going on. If I was a really huge famous person you brought in to make your show bump up in viewers or whatever.

Then they talk and we just slurp it up. And I obviously don't even know who you guys are, but I just... Can I just ask, though? You're trying to get in my head by saying that, though, because you know the answer to that already. Do not. I'm just chilling and grilling. Let's go. Meg Ryan, Richard Gere, Michelle Pfeiffer. So, it's me and it's Matt LeBlanc and we're at a baseball card convention.

We're looking for a Billy Ripken fuckface card and then we can't find one. And I noticed Cal Ripken is signing autographs across the room. Joey, Matt LeBlanc, who plays Joey, says, do you think he'll know who I am? I'm like, of course, everybody knows Joey. Everybody knows friends. We go up to the table and he goes, how you doing? And and uh Cal Ripken is like what can I do for you chief and it was had a very uh kind of prickly edge to it and I said well my friend Matt LeBlanc here is looking for a uh for a uh a card uh the Billy Ripken card your brother he's like do I look like

Billy Ripken and then I say well a little bit and then matt leblanc goes uh and then cal ripken looks at matt closer he goes wait aren't you matt leblanc from episodes and then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a billy ripken card and then matt says thank you so much and then uh cal says oh one other thing and he says what he says, care to sign my bat? Hey! Hey! Welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to kicking butted, dropping names in the red carpet.

Hallways of this industry. Call showbiz. Will, hi! What up, what up? Yep, go ahead. Thank you for being on the show. My pleasure. What's happening in your life these days? Not a lot.

Can we not do a full reboot, but can we just set this what-up, what-up things really? I know I stepped on you with that. I said I'm not going to say it. I'd prefer if you... I fucking said it last time. I know. And I feel like you did not mean that,

though. I feel like you're just... I feel like it's very passive-aggressive. Okay. It's not. Can we just try one where you say it, then? Don't feel that way. Hey! It's Hollywood. Can we just try one where you say it then? Don't feel that way.

Hey, it's Hollywood Handbook, the insider's guide to the whole ways of... Yeah, you don't even know it. What up, what up? Will Hines. Hey. Have you been doing a lot of stuff lately? Not really, yeah. Now, Will, I've heard you take the bus a fair amount in Los Angeles.

That's right. I do. Yeah. And I've also heard that you are an improv teacher. Both those things are true. Yeah. I'll take the bus to where I teach improv a lot of times. Have you ever taught improv on the bus? No. That would be unwanted. Okay. Now, it's a very political world we live in. Everybody's talking about politics all the time. I don't find that to be true. Uh-huh. Okay. Some people are talking about politics.

That's true. When you think about a politician, Will, do you feel that... I don't really think about politics. Okay. The older I get, the less faith I have in the whole system. I don't think about it too much. If you were to think about politics, Okay.

Do you feel that any politician would be a great improviser? I do not. You do not. Well, what if I was to show you how a politician could be a great improviser? I'd like to see that. So,

Mr. Richard Milhouse Nixon Whoa The President Third President 37 President of the United States

Say he was in your improv class And can I also ask As a sidebar Sure Any famous People come through that improv class of can i also ask as a sidebar sure any famous uh people come through that improv class of yours i had i did think it went it was a guy in snl for one year i think his name was like john bedinsky or something like that he was in i taught him improv 101 and was he was he um it was red nitsky just in case he's ever on the show just get it clean just john red nitsky

just red nitsky that's too bad because I was going to say. And don't say I did think of one because that. Oh, right. Yes. Yes, I did have a famous person in my improv class. John Rudnitsky. Rudnitsky. Rudnitsky, yeah.

When he was a teenager in New Jersey, he took an improv 101 class from me. This was years and years ago. Sure. And then, yeah, he showed up in SNL like almost 10 years later. Now, was Rudinsky a Budinsky with the improv? Not really. He learned to not do the talking over each other? He was quite good. Mm-hmm.

So now we have Richard Milhouse Nixon. Okay. First word, last word. First word, washcloth. Last word, lamppost. Where are we? You are you're in a grocery store.

Grocery store? What era? 60s. Where? San Francisco. Good grocery store or bad grocery store? Pretty good.

High end. High end. Okay. Washcloth Washcloth to Lamp Okay. Washcloth to lamppost. Washcloth, lamppost. Richard Nixon, washcloth, lamppost. 60s San Francisco, good grocery store. Now, is Richard Nixon himself in the grocery store,

or do you want him to be someone else? I think he should be trying to be someone else. Who should he be? He should be trying to be a flight attendant. Who just evolved? I'll explain that when I do the thing. Yeah. Please do.

Yeah. Please do. Oh, boy. Here we go. Washcloth. Lampost. Quick scene. Come on.

Quick scene. That was really fast. Oh, that technically did it. No, no, no. Okay. Washcloth. Excuse on. Quick scene. That was really fast. Oh, that technically did it. No, no, no. Okay. Washcloth. Excuse me, young man. How much is this can of Campbell's soup?

It's 15 cents. It's 15 cents. That's a little pricey, isn't it? Oh, that's what it's going for. This is a high-end store. We pick only the best stuff. Where are these damn hippies in San Francisco? They're all over the place.

It's a new movement. Summer of love. Because I thought I saw one leaning on a lamppost. All right. So maybe, Will, you could critique that scene a little bit. Sure, Will. I mean, I want Will to do it, but where's the flight attendant? Yeah, I did miss the flight attendant.

Everything was great, except I missed the flight attendant stuff. But I saw the Nixon, I saw the San Francisco, I saw the high-end grocery store, the price. Okay, here we go. If we could fulfill the promise of the flight attendant. Yes, we will. That's a great way to put it, too. That's what you're doing.

You're fulfilling the promise you made to the audience. And I'm going to dig in a little deeper on the 60s stuff. Set the flavor of that. Oh, great. That's even. Okay, ready? Okay. Don't need that, but go ahead.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. There must be some kind of way out of here. Washcloth. Excuse me, young man.

I just got off my Pan Am flight where I'm a flight attendant and I am bushed. Okay, yeah, you look it. I'd love to get some Campbell's soup and go back to my room. Oh, well, right here in aisle two is the soups. Now, how much is this can of beef barley? 17 cents. Wasn't that a little pricey? Well, you get what

you pay for, sir, and this is a high-end grocery store. Lots of service and the best stuff. Come on, people now. Smile on your brother. Everybody get together. Try to love one another. Well, this music playing over the PA at this damn grocery store is hippie music. Where are all these hippies in San Francisco I hear about?

You look outside, they're everywhere, sir. A lot of our clientele are hippies. We're proud of it here. I think I see one leaning on a lamppost. Wow. I mean, you know what on a lamppost. Wow. I mean, you know what? That's a pretty fun exercise. It was good. I have two thoughts. They're not notes.

They're just thoughts I had. Suggestions. One is you began the song All Along the Watchtower, which is maybe a 14-minute song. And then we were suddenly in a different song right yeah but it was only a minute later sure not sure what happened there it's diegetic versus non-diegetic music okay it was playing from a car outside of the grocery store okay okay and then i

went and he said ding he did that was him walking into the grocery store. Next question. Great. And you have a real edge to you because of this what up, what up thing. Hey, hey. I'll take the compliment. If it was a problem. If it was a problem, let's hash it out. Compliment accepted. It's good for me to have an edge. I'm glad I haven't lost my edge.

Because I've been doing this show for a long time. And you have to find a way to keep your edge. You have to find a way to keep your edge. You have to find a way to get mad at that damn microphone when you start your podcast. Now, Will. I do have a note. My second thing is for you. Oh, a note for me. Okay. Yeah. I'm ready. And he said, I'm bushed. You said, you look it. Right. I mean, is that a choice to, that's kind of a a grocery store employee. You're right, a grocery store person wouldn't say that. I thought you were going to say, when I said I'm bullish, I was teeing you up to say, like, CIA director.

Like the CIA director. I missed it. George. I see, that's a good, these are both good notes. It's not natural for a grocery store employee to criticize their customers. And any normal person at that era would have clued into who the head of the CIA was.

And I'm not trying to write your thing, but you could also tack in a thing where it's just like, I ran into his 15-year-old son. He was drunk as fuck. That'd be nice, yeah. Because we want to let the audience know what our politics are.

Yeah, it's nice, yeah. I think I have one for you also. Love the voice. You just said the word washcloth and there was no reason given, like as if somebody walks into a grocery store and just exclaims washcloth. That's a fair note. And now he's gotten you in a note off, and you've got to know that.

Lampost was great at the end. Lampost flowed. But I'm picturing Nixon. I'm picturing a flight attendant walking into a grocery store and just going, washcloth. Well, you know what? Your character was so undercooked. Thank you.

That's good. For me, that's a compliment because I'm not making the scene all about me. And that's kind of my thing is making things compliments. We're mad TV in this. You're just clearing a path for me. Yeah. I think, yeah, the main thing people know mad tv for was how the characters all cleared a path for each like mo collins for stewart yeah they were just

they were a real collaborative non-showy bunch that's maybe the most subtle and dry comedy show i've seen okay here we go okay we're all gonna take all those notes guys going after mad tv will's found a target that he can sink his teeth into. Ready? We're doing the improv again? Yeah. No one suggested that. I mean, we don't have to.

I mean, all these notes. Are we hiding from the sub-dom thing? That's what I'm worried about. Are you scared of getting to that? Do you not want to get into it? Or do you not understand it? So, Will. Please.

Hi. What up? What up? What up? Right? You wanted to hear it, right? That's what you said. You wanted me to do it. Tom, go get this.

Who am I going after now? You are getting the sub-dom material. I feel like Will is more on my side than Sean. I thought Will's supposed to be the piece of shit. If I understand what Sean's going through, I've never seen Will be this joyful. He said the improv scene was good. I know. I'm interested to see where that goes.

It might be a trap. And then Sean had to lay into me with notes. You got to keep going, Tom. You got to press on. And then he did the what up, what up thing thing Out of nowhere it's clear it's bugging him We gotta get the sub Dom We gotta get the Subway Will when you're

I said Tom Hi Will We have Will Hines on the show here I know that I'm talking to the audience now Reframing the interview Glad to be here Well I'm gonna listen I'll be listening to it so I to the audience now. I'm reframing the interview. Glad to be here. It's just 101.

Well, I'm going to listen. It's 101. I'll be listening to it, so I am the audience. I know we have Will. Yeah. Good. We got Will Hines in studio with us here on Hollywood Handbook. How are you?

Are you feeling good? I feel just fine. Love that shirt. Thank you. So let me ask you, when you're doing improvs, any teachers you've filled in for over the years? Sorry? Most famous teacher you've filled in for. Okay. So we've got Will Hines here in studio.

And Will, when you're teaching improv, I know there's so many other teachers. And you're one of the most renowned improv teachers. I am. But there are other famous teachers. Who would be like some other? The most famous improv teacher that I subbed for? Is that what you're asking me? He didn't ask.

Yeah. You didn't actually say it. What's the most famous? Who's the most famous improv teacher that you? I once subbed Jason Manzououkas improv class. He was the teacher and I subbed it. Sure, so you subbed it. Yeah. So that was some pretty kinky

shit, huh? Sorry, I don't follow. Give me the whip sound. Three in a row. Faster, faster. Okay. It's got a load. That's the load. Yeah, you probably got your fucking rocks off on that one. I don't follow.

Right? I don't see what... Yeah. What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. It's sex. But why are you talking about sex? I don't get it.

Sub. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Submission. Sure. Get into the sandwich artist stuff. Okay.

So you go to Subway, right? You ever wonder if they have like a sex room at a Subway? I don't go there too often. Maybe that's what Jared was all about, huh? I don't go to the Subway. Maybe that's what he meant by the Subway. There's just not a ton of them in LA. I don't go to Subway that often.

Uh-huh. Nail his ass on that. That's not fucking true. There's so many Subways out here, dude. Well, I don't see them. Open your eyes. Where? Where?

Where aren't they? On Sunset Boulevard where this is. Hall and Beverly. Vermont and Sunset. In the Bradbury building. There's not one at? On Sunset Boulevard, where this is. Hallmark and Beverly. Vermont and Sunset. In the Bradbury building. There's not one at Vermont and Sunset. Well, there is one very close to there. I guess it's not at Sunset.

I guess it's more up towards Hollywood. Glenn Bale and Fletcher. Yeah, man. Tom, this is where you can actually fucking sink them. Western and Council, it's closed. This is supposed to can actually fucking sink them. Yes. Western Council, it's closed. This is supposed to be your city. True or false? Supposed to be your city, Will Hines, right?

You'd feel like somebody would have the lay of the land down a little bit in terms of the type of things that regular people eat, not the stuff you eat when you're at your... What's a good restaurant? What's a good restaurant? What's a good restaurant? What's a fancy place that he'd eat? Spago. When you're at Spago

and you're with your friends, you're there with Jason Manzoukas and you're talking all about improv and the rest of us are at Subway. 6051 Hollywood Boulevard, 750 Vine Street, 5537 Sunset, 615 Santa Monica Boulevard, 1018 North Vermont Avenue. Wow.

Hmm. Let's see what the cross street is there. Let's look at that one and see what the cross street is. Wait, did you say Vermont and Sunset? He said 1018. We don't know what the Cross Street is. That's one of the biggest ones, the Vermont and Sunset one. Unless it closed. Oh, well.

Can I do a stop? Can I do a stop right before Sean started naming the subway addresses? Make a little marker. Cut the episode out there. Just cut that part out. I don't know if we stuck the nail in the coffin on Will. Oh, no, no. I was about to, and then Sean started doing his thing.

Okay, he was helping you. Rattling off addresses. So it's more like a pause request than a stop request. Yeah, well, I just want to be the one to say those, actually. Sure. Sean, can you hand me your phone? No. That's Vermont and Santa Monica.

I mean, so fucking close. close start request that's like two avenues away here we go vermont and santa monica fountain and then santa monica two avenues it's two whole if you're in vermont and sunset and you know there's a subway vermont santa monica you'd never go there you'd be like forget it bullshit yeah you know you have two eyes. I do. Even Daryl Hannah in Kill Bill with one eye would be able to see these subways all over Los Angeles. And when she popped that eye out, that other one, I went, aye, aye, aye. That was the joke? The joke was saying aye, aye, aye, aye. We knew that.

I should have set you up for that. It's all right. I guess you're right. There's more subways than I realized. I'm sorry about that. I don't tend to go to them, but there certainly are a lot of opportunities to go. So in your life, so with your food choices, you clearly do not participate in Subway. That's right.

But when it's time for the old b boudoir i guess you maybe do participate in the sub way three in a row viral request reload so why is it taking so long is it like playing is like a silent padding at the end it's a long clip you're letting the file play out even if it's silent? It's a union thing. It's a video that he watches. A big part of it for Devin is seeing the result of the whip crack. So is that true or false? False. I don't engage in that sort of activity in the bedroom.

I'm a pretty vanilla dude. What's that mean? Plain. Like my sexual preferences are... Sex with ice cream? No. Nice. No, no, no. Just...

This guy's having sex with ice cream. It sounded a little like that might have been Devin laughing, but it was you laughing. This guy's having sex with ice cream. Speaking of Devin, kind of sounds like Devon, doesn't it? So that, like, I do feel like a lot of my bits, things that I've said off-air, you have then ended up doing

on what will end up being the assembled version of the show. I did the Devon thing. Was that you? Yes, it was. I did the observation that Matt LeBlanc was in Ed and then a version that I think is probably going to make the final one. If we ever end up having to release this, people will

think that that was something he said. Well, get in there, man. Do your stuff. Again, this is about Tom. But that's what I'm saying. It doesn't have to be us taking each other's bits. Because we're trying to elevate Tom for this. And it's just a screen test. It's not even going to air.

Well, he's not doing the Devon thing. I mean, are you... You're not doing it. You're not using it. I think it's fine to leave it on the table is what I'm saying. Leave on the table? Leave on the table? Yes, and that was in a way mine too.

And he shall be a... good man. Hollywood Handbook. Well, there's a reason they call me the March maniac. I get maniacal around this time of year because March mania is happening. And DraftKings Sportsbook, one of America's top-rated sportsbook apps, is giving new customers and maniacs like me a shot to turn five bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any college basketball bet. Those maniacs are even more maniacal than me, the March maniac. And during

March mania, I get a little maniacal. And let me tell you something. The best bet that I'm seeing on the board is one that will already have happened by the time you hear this ad. That's right. I'm here to give you a nonspecific line from a college basketball tournament game, which you will not be able to bet on because the college basketball tournament games that are going to happen after you hear the ad do not have lines up yet. I have to give you a line specifically from today. That's how the lines work. Today, there are two games taking place, both of which you will not be allowed to wager on. They will already have happened. San Diego State Aztecs are favored over Boise State.

Oh, mama. Hey, I wonder if their basketball court is blue like their football field. Sports facts. That's the March Maniac for you. Also, the Dayton, Ohio Flyers are favored over VCU. Hey, you know what? I'm going to go double underdog on that one because I'm a maniac. Okay, have fun seeing the games

or checking up on the scores of whether I hit my bet that you could not participate in. Download the DraftKings Sports app and use code THEBOYS. New customers can bet $5 to get $150 instantly in bonus bets only at DraftKings Sportsbook with code THEBOYS.

The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800 gambler or in west virginia visit www.1800gambler.net in new york call 8778 hope new york or text hope ny 467369 in connecticut help is available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org please play responsibly on behalf of boot hill casino and resort in kansas 21 plus age varies by jurisdiction void in ontario bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance cdkng.com slash b ball for eligibility and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources life can be ridiculous but you know what's not funny getting ripped off

and harry's agrees so what we want to talk about today with sorry you said harry's or harry i said harry's we always talk about harry's first and then we talk about you, Clean Harry, who are sort of our new mask guy. I don't know. Note taken. For this campaign. Talk about Harry's first. What we want to talk about is something funny that happened to you recently. Great.

A ridiculous or fun situation that you were in okay recently that's the prompt and that'll take us into discussing the product particularly the product funny to me or funny to just anyone i i mean do you you feel like there's a difference there like you yeah i mean i've had things happen to me that i suppose you would find funny okay but that you didn't find funny and and you have not really and you have things that have happened that you would find funny but the rest of the world would not yeah i guess i'm interested in that one that i would find funny yes but that others would not find funny. You seem to think that you have a specific taste when it comes to what's funny or ridiculous that is not. I ordered a scented spray for my pillow to help me sleep at night. Like a lavender scent.

Okay. And they accidentally sent me two. Okay. So you understand that most people would not buy that. Funny or ridiculous. But you do. I just had a little chuckle about the mix up at the shipping warehouse. Harry saw customers getting screwed over

by questionable overpriced shaving products. Queen Harry on the come up. Decided to do something better. Instead of charging the same stupid high prices, Harry's found their own way to make a beautifully designed razors for a fraction of the price of other big brands. Bogo, baby.

Exceptional products, honest prices. Is there a Bogo as part of this? Because I don't want to be talking about deals that aren't. No, but I clean Harry Punk. Harry's. Actually got two bottles. Buy one, get one. Their deodorant, their lotion, their body wash, their hair gel,

all very high quality products. They all smell great. German engineer blades made in their own factory they stay sharp longer you get a five blade razor weighted handle foaming shave gel and a travel cover for just three bucks at harrys.com slash the boys highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry no risk trial don't like your shave no worries it's on them getting ripped off isn't funny do you want to hear what happened to me that you might find yes yes sure but that you didn't yeah so you're attuned to to this stuff

i got my foot stuck in the dryer at the laundromat and it somehow turned on and you know that that was something other people would find funny based on the responses you were getting. A lot of people inside that laundromat seemed to find it pretty humorous when my legs started spinning around and flipping me over. What happened was I was holding my laundry basket with both hands, and I saw, ooh oh still a sock left in the dryer so i stuck my foot and tried to pick it up with my little toesies i wear sandals

punk and as i'm picking it up i just sort of tripped and my foot got wedged in between there's like slats in there and stuck inside there and then i don't know who somebody pushed the button or what but it turned on and the thing starts flipping over and i'm flying in circles help punk help me you punks are your clothes staying in the basket are you going fast no no no i'm wearing all of them by the end of the cycle. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash the boys. That's harrys.com slash the boys for a $3 trial set. Hollywood handbook. Okay, so now we usually would do the pets.

Okay. Get some dog sounds. Dog sounds, yeah. Okay. We actually have a dog in here. That's what I meant. You're not going to get the dog to make sounds? He looks pretty chill right now.

So should Tom do Bosh's voice? Yeah, sure. That could be good. Oh, like when he hears about. What was that? He's introducing the pet segment. It's a sting for the if you hear something about a cat you might have some feelings about that

because I'm Bosch now? no not now so you get you talk to Will and you get into the cat conversation as me and I'm terrified to talk now just so you know the result of you kind of hammering me

on the show about that it's neither here nor there because this is possibly be helpful but instead now I'm scared to say anything because I'm afraid I'm going to be accused of stealing your material which by the way I'm pretty sure I'm the one who came up with the whole

diva thing I also do want to just say that the thing that makes hollywood handbook work it's sean it's hayes it's tom and that's what makes it work so let's keep the sean and hayes part of it because it started with sean and hayes nobody can deny. Because it started with Sean and Hayes. Nobody can deny that. Yeah. It grew. The characters have shown up and some have come in, some have gone out, some have grown and grown and grown to where they're full partners in the show. But I don't want to lose sight of the nugget that started

this whole thing, Hayes and Sean. And I feel like that's getting lost a little bit today. I thought it was going to be part of it, but I guess I'm... Are you scared of doing the dog-cat stuff? I just like... A little bit. Yes. Because I'm not sure.

What am I doing? You talk to Will about the pets that he has. And then I'll say... He presumably will mention something about his cat. Yeah. And then... Hopi. The character Bosh might have like a reaction to that okay now i'm gonna do bosh

this time yes because usually like sean does you know you know host no i do i okay okay okay but i'm just can i just also clear by the way yeah well that's true but it it started with like a lot of the bits that started with sean okay um wow so it's okay if i interpret bosh you're not going to take offense to that we'll have to see okay well so will yes heinz hi legendary actor and improviser correct no no not yet not yet stop well i was trying to build some ambience yeah trying to build some ambience are you taking sleeping pills so will hines yes famous actor i'm not gonna do anything else great thank you yeah good i'm not going to when he says build some ambience yeah i have no interest in that say you got a chemistry set you make it sleeping pills? Something like that.

I mean, Hayes, if you're having a hard time coming up with material, I can help you with some stuff. Yeah, we can sit down and build. What if you do a thing like building ambience, like the wall, like Trump building a wall. He's building it out of sleeping pills. That's a biting commentary. Should it be, and maybe Roseanne's

helping him yeah why she because she took that Ambien that one time she blamed the um

okay outburst on Ambien I really I do feel like this is just about you not wanting to impersonate the dog fine

watch this thank you Will yes you're a famous improviser and actor but you also from what I've heard, are an animal lover.

Yeah, I have a pet that I love very much. What are you waiting for? Oh, fuck. What video was that? Was that from an animal shelter? Jesus. Well, I have a cat. You have a cat.

What's your cat's name? Hopi. Hopi. Now, what is the origin of that name? There's a comic book called Love and Rockets and a character named Hopi Glass, and I named my cat after that character. And that is a famous comic book that is- I would say no. I love it, but I don't think it's-

It's really famous. I don't think it's like super well- It's really famous. Sure. Love and Rockets? Yeah. The comic book? Okay, great. No, I love it, but I don't think it's really famous. I don't think it's like super well-known. It's really famous. Sure. Love and Rockets? Yeah. The comic book?

Okay, great. Every comics person is like, oh, you have to read it. Great. Play that thing. There we go. Now, you know that Hollywood Handbook, we have our own lovable scamp on this show. That's right. Who does a fair amount of the talking from time to time.

Right. None other than Hollywood Houndbook. That's really good. Star, Bosch. And maybe he has a couple things to ask you. Okay. Bosch, you want to come up to the mic? Shit.

Hey, what's up? What's up? What the fuck it is that huckleberry hound what's going on um not too much bosh how are you good good nice to see you yeah yeah you're kind of a you know 1940s mode today or's happening? I'm just a dog. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Nice to see you. I'm more of a cat guy.

Oh, cats, huh? Yeah, I don't like cats. Why not? Because they're not dogs. Yeah, yeah. Do you like people? Oh, my God. What?

No. Bye. Okay. So that. Wait, we're done? Yeah, we always Bye. Okay. So that. Wait, we're done? Yeah, we always end the show like kind of abruptly. Like we hit the time. Like that.

Let's just get into the review portion. You did a great job of the test where like Sean and I were like fighting with each other. Sure. So this is like a thing that we do. We pretend to be like jealous of each other. Like who's doing each other's like this is a thing that we do. We pretend to be jealous of each other. Who's doing each other's bits or whatever. And you did a great job of getting in the middle and putting it back together.

That was great. Sure. The dog was a catastrophe. Well, okay. Well, then help me with it then, please. It was a nightmare. Then help me shape the voice right now. Okay.

What should I go? Just say up, down, louder, like shape it. Do it more like Bosch. Like sound like him. It's me, Bosch. No, no, no. That's Marvin the Martian. It's me, Bosh.

That is way closer. That's way closer. That is closer. Bosh cloth. It's a Bosh cloth. That's actually pretty good. I didn't realize how much Bosh was Nixon-y. I will say you sort of defeated Will to such a degree that I don't know if we can use him again.

Oh, wow. You've done a lot of these. I've done so many of these screen tests. Maybe that's just, I've just been used up. I have a question. Okay. You know how we have this like funny bit that's just a joke of how I'm like one of the bad guests and how like when I come on that the show is bad.

Like it's a big joke amongst us and it's's a funny thing that we say to each other. It was a song. It's okay that this episode has Will Hines. The Reddit commentators are pretty quick to use it whenever I make any appearance on any Earwolf show. And then some people read it and don't know that it's a joke. They think it's real.

They're not in on how it's a totally fake joke and that I'm actually one of the most electric. You're a huge show. You see how many live shows I'm featured on for the Earwolf stuff and just how often I'm actually one of the most electric. You're a huge show. Huge. Like, you see how many live shows I'm featured on for the Earwolf stuff and, you know, just how often I'm quoted and, like, how whenever there's a best of poll, the fans can't stop voting for me.

We've got to book you from so far out. And I just do a million things, you know what I mean? Like, Gabrus is a second... Gabrus and Lapkus are after You Can't Get Will Hines. You know how that's true? Mm-hmm. Was this episode so bad that people are going to believe that that bit is true?

Was I so – have I made that a true bit now? Well, I'll say this. Yes. Okay. That's what I wanted to know. Thank you. Well, I can say as somebody who's been on the show more than any other guest in the history of Hollywood Handbook by a huge mark. How many times have you been on?

I can't even count that high. Wow. You get to a certain point where it's rare air, and you just feel like you belong, and that's when the fans feel so comfortable with you that they constantly refer to you as an unfunny asshole. Can I just say that I appreciate your advice and your wisdom on this what was the phrase they used to describe you? unfunny asshole

I think the thing I think we will end up doing another one of these that's where I'm at Sean yeah that means this is inconclusive? I just don't even know

what, like, just so we have something to do, I think, is what you mean, right? Yes, yes. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HateGum Podcast.