Hollywood Handbook - Tom Scharpling, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: February 20, 2018

The boys are joined by TOM SCHARPLING in his big return to the studio and he meets someone new. This episode is sponsored by NBC's A.P. Bio and  Wargaming  (code: HOLLYWOOD18).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. at the Children's Hospital. Doing what? We're doing their specific brand of comedy where they talk very slow and they say, I was smoking weed with my brother the other day and I thought I was having an out-of-body experience, but it turned out that we were just twin brothers. And the kids are interested. And we got some other, Brett Gellman was there.

He did 10,000 Cats. Or he does all 10,000 Cats. So the comedy is outside the mainstream somehow. Yes. But it's still funny? It's either the mainstream somehow. Yes. For most of the time. But it's still funny? It is. It's either longer or quieter.

Do people know about this? The normal stuff. It's these kids that really love it. Oh, man. It's little kids. And is it rando humor? We go to the hospital. Yes, because it's so rando.

We go to the hospital to make the kids laugh. Yes, because it's so random. We go to the hospital to make the kids laugh. And the kids are like more like studying it than laughing. You know, it's not like they're like – And am I doing it now if I just go like let me think about something. I go like, oh, boy, this glass of water, sure. I hope it doesn't get up and walk around. Yes, that's it. That's really good.

Yes. And what I sort of do, it's not really so all too much as like confessional comedy. I just go out there and just like rip my heart. You know that. I mean, like, yes. I have seen you expose your soul. And so with the kids, I just take my heart out and show it to them.

And I talk about, I'm seeing this girl. She means the whole world to you. Yeah. And you don't even know if she thinks you exist. But she looks, you know, I've seen her, and I know it's because she like looks like my mom. And like, does that mean that I want to like sleep with my mom? Yeah, yeah.

Like all the, like, just like ripping it out and showing it to these kids. Yeah. And they're laughing. Does that mean that I want to sleep with my mom? Yeah, yeah. Just ripping it out and showing it to these kids. And they're laughing. And it's making them... Artemis Rex. Not sick anymore. Yeah. I used to do a confessional brand of comedy. Which was, I would do a joke, and then I'd do 10 Hail Berries.

Hi. Welcome to Hollywood. Twists and turns of Hollywood stories and rule books. Rule books, handbooks. Insider's guide to the twists and turns that are the biz we call show biz from three guys who know what is what. Twists and turns is in the wrong place. Let's start over. And we only say biz twice.

One, two, three. Hey, welcome to Hollywood Handbook. An insider's guide to the twists and turns that we call showbiz from three guys who know what fur. What up, what up? What up? So Hayes' friend Tom is here. It's an exciting day. We, for a while, Tom Sharpling used to come on the show all the time.

I had grown worried about you. I reached out. You did. Thank you. You came here very fast. Very fast. Remember Very Fine Juice? Yeah.

I just love to trip out on nostalgia. All the different juice. Clearly Canadian, you remember that drink? Yes. Remember Boku? Oh, no. Those boxes are a little too big. I don't remember that.

It was Richard Lewis did these commercials where he's like, they want me to drink this juice, Boku. I'm doing a commercial for Boku. And then you're just like, oh, that was the commercial. He wasn't just moaning about a commercial he got hired to do. That was just the commercial for the juice. I believe you. I'm saying I don't remember it.

I believe you that it's a real. It was sort of the early version of the Honda commercial that happened during the Super Bowl where the guy just looked for a while at the camera. And then was like, Tide Pods. That guy. They're all Tide Pod commercials. Tide Pods. Tide Pods. So we're glad that you're here. Thanks for having me here.

It's great to be here. It feels like the puzzle pieces have clicked back into place. It's good. Hayes didn't check with me before he reached out, but at the same time, here you are, and we're doing the show. And I will say I didn't reach out explicitly saying, please come on the show. That became part of the conversation very quickly. I don't remember initiating it specifically. I'm very excited that you're here and that you are fine.

And if I had either of your emails or phone numbers, I would have reached out. But whenever I talk to Hayes, it says private. And I've yet to speak to Sean on the phone. Yeah, well, if you spoke to me, I'd say, Colonel, because I outrank Hayes. You know what I mean? No. But, oh, well, yeah, but it's, you know, contractually we have to make a bunch of episodes anyway, so it's awesome you're here.

Thanks for having me here. It's great to be back. Do you want to talk about what you've been doing? It's probably quicker if I talk about what I'm not up to at this point. Sure, let's start there. You know, the usual best show, still killing it every Tuesday night. Wait, this is what you're not up to? No.

You said the quick version was to talk about what you're not up to. you said the quick version was well that was a joke that was a joke okay come on get with it these are jokes these are the jokes son get with it yeah i'm a little out of touch with comedy stuff hayes have been catching me up on what's going on in the scene no i'm and i'm not really used to Tom. Tom is really cracking wise a lot more than I remember. So, yeah, best show, killing it every Tuesday, just showing everyone how it's done. Got a Friends recap podcast blowing up, untouchable. Yes.

And then more. So I haven't heard that stuff I have heard a lot of the stings from the friends podcast those have gone viral just the sort of little music cues that you use those are blowing up

look the whole thing's blowing up it depends where you check it out you go to a friends message board they can't get enough of it you go to some sort of audio board, they can't get enough of it. You go to some sort of audio geek thing, they're talking about the production quality on the thing. Everybody's just getting off on this thing from all angles. Yeah. A special thing had a big write-up, I understand. You sent me the link, but when I clicked it, I got a virus.

When I clicked it, I got a virus. I'm sorting that out with the guys over there. It's talking to ILIS and Mbiggum, and we're getting to the bottom of all the techie stuff over at AST. Is there a—I don't want to spoil anything for the show, but you think about Gilmore Guys and these very big recap podcasts. They got the whole cast. And eventually got even a reunion show, got the show to come back for a little while. I don't know.

Is there anything with the cast? Are you talking to any of them about? A few lines have been cast. Okay. I'm not going to say too much about it now because there's six of them. Right. And it just don't want to – it's an all or nothing kind of thing. It's like you can't do it with five of them.

You're going to have all of them on. Unless any of them – Or zero. No, at once. No, I know. And the goal – look, the goal is I'm going to write a reunion episode, and we'll do it as an audio project. A live audio reunion episode. Yeah, kind of like the Wolverine, which is coming to Scripps Plus or whatever that thing's called.

I don't know what that is. Wolverine, you know him, snicked. They're going to say that on the. It's going to be snicked. I auditioned for that also to be the guy who did the sound effects. Snicked bub. Here comes Wolverine. Snicked.

Snicked bub. Yeah, a bub snicked. I'm the best at what I do, but what I do, snicked. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry that you weren't able to get that. I think it was just that I was so nearby that they decided to go with some of my stuff, which is here's Wolverine walking up. So you doubled it.

And here's the snicked. Snicked. It's kind of a secret. Okay. And then you're like, are those claws? What the hell's coming out of his head? Oh. So, Tom.

Yeah. You haven't been on the show in over a year. That's not exactly true. We did the 200th together, which was kind of a biggie. Right, you called it the 200th episode. I remember co-hosting that one with you guys. It was a sweet honor. Right.

And the pretense of all this seems to be that you consider yourself a very big part of the show, effectively the third co-host. Well, I wouldn't even want to put a number on where any of us rank in this. There are three. And, I mean, some would probably say Hayes, Sean, Tom, Tom, Sean, Hayes. I don't want – that's not my place to do. I just do the show. It's like I really – that's what the boards are for. Well, it is Hayes, Sean, Tom.

It is Hayes, Sean, Tom. Okay. Well, I've seen – Some may say a lot of things. Some people say a freaking – I don't – It's not for me to decide. I just do the – I am the thing.

See, that's the thing. I am the thing. I don't comment just do this. I am the thing. See, that's the thing. I am the thing. I don't comment on the thing. I am the thing. It's like when you get some dipshit who's mad about like that a baseball player doesn't care about baseball. And then it's like they don't need to. They are a baseball. Like they don't know who Ted Musial is.

They are a baseball. They are a baseball? Is that what you said before? Yeah, they don't know who Ted Musial is. And are baseball. They are a baseball? Is that what you said before? Yeah, they're who Ted Musial is, and then they – what's that? Who? Stan Musial. Who's that? Okay, are you a baseball player now?

I'm doing comedy. I'm doing comedy again. Come on. He's cracking wise. Again, this is really something I'm not used to, but he will trap you. It's an odd variation on the who's on first routine that you say Ted Musial, and then you say who's that. And to me, it doesn't feel like it has as many places to go.

But I haven't seen the whole routine yet. You keep telling me there's more to come. It's more about capturing a victim and getting someone to correct him. And then he says, I'm razzing you. And then he pretends to rev a motorcycle with his hands, and he makes a police siren noise. Which is probably something I should have done at the Wolverine audition. Yeah.

The motorcycle. Yeah, he's on that thing a lot. I'm out of here. Snicked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Although instead it's, I'm out of here. Snicked. You got it.

I can see why you got it. It's just a play on what you expect. Look, comedy is nothing but surprises. I don't got to tell you that. No, you don't. You're the first guy who ever surprised me. You said, I'm doubling down on these podcasts. I'm going to start even another one.

Yeah. I see an opening in the field. Not enough. Room for one more. Let me squeeze it in there. Now, are you doing anything else while you're? Well, that's a good question. Am I doing anything else?

It's probably shorter for me to say what I'm not doing. Okay, well, let's hear it. Well, actually, again, that's a joke. So what I am doing. I wish we had a hand signal or something. Like while you're in L.A., just like is there anything? I just like to hang out, see friends. Okay.

The show. Thanks for bringing that back. People should check the Friends podcast. They do out. Thanks for the plug. Have you gotten the first result on the Google search term Friends Podcast yet?

I know that was something you were really hoping for. That's not going as well. Getting to that first page. The problem is that about four months ago, and I did not know this, that Matt LeBlanc started a podcast. And I'm kind of throwing the whole algorithm off. Where he's going through every episode. I hear he's like two episodes ahead of you. It's pretty tight.

So a lot of people who love Fred's, when they listen to the newest episode of your show, they have often just heard Matt LeBlanc talk about it. And he is telling very good stories that really only he and the other friends would know. Yeah. Well, it's also tricky because he mentions – he did that show Episodes. Yeah. In the thing it says Friends Episodes Podcast. And then it goes to – because Matthew Perry is doing a recap show of the show Episodes.

Uh-huh. Where he's going through it. And he's more where I'm at. I like that better because with LeBlanc, I almost think he's too close to it. And when I listen to his friend's podcast, it almost feels alienating that he's always describing like, well, at this point we're on stage B. And I'm thinking, I don't know what that means, Matt.

You know, but when Tom says it, he goes, they were in Monica's apartment. And that to me is more where I have access to the show. I'm glad you feel that because I feel the same way about it. I feel like there is a – if you go look at a painting and you get too close to it, you don't see the whole painting. Oh, pointillism. Pointillism. And this is such an important thing to talk about and especially in the world of podcasts that, look, the audience is a participant. And the thing is different when it's being enjoyed. The way people listen to a show like this,

if you were to just hear this episode, for instance, it might sound like a total mess, you know? But in the scope of the entirety of all the episodes we've done, you start to get enough distance to see, oh, wait, these guys are really doing something. That's why people say you have to listen to so many episodes to enjoy it. It's because they are forming a picture of a dog. Well, this episode is a red dot, and then we're going to do a blue dot very close to it,

and then a red, and then a blue. But then when you look, you'll see a much richer violet than you ever would if we had just done a purple episode. I will say I am really enjoying the show, Tom, and people ask me all the time. I mention the show, and you should listen to the show. And they ask me, do I have to like the show Friends to listen to it? And I say, yes, you do. You have to be very familiar with the show. See, I feel like that might be some faulty info.

Not my experience. I am very well versed in the show. I have seen every episode but probably like a few years ago. And I think I would enjoy it more if I had just seen every episode. Sure. Like within the past year. That's who I think it's really for. People who have seen every episode of Friends within the past year

and have read some books about it. Yeah, they should have read books and they should have dug up the Entertainment Weeklys from that period where they were really all over it. To get on Gleiberman's review of each episode. Yeah, you're going to want Gleiberman's, you're going to want Schwarzenba... I mean, you're going to want Ken Tucker and all those guys to sort

of get in there and just slap you around with some hard facts. And Joey would help. A rich understanding of Joey. I don't have that, and sometimes on your show I'm lost. Yeah, when you bring up Drea DeMatteo and sort of her involvement in the Friendsiverse, I sometimes will go, I don't remember this Joey. Let me go back and watch it.

Luckily, I can, but not everyone has that privilege. Yeah. None of this is required to see. You can just listen to the thing, enjoy the thing. The thing is its own thing. And I keep not being able to catch what Tom's doing a joke, but I do think I'm ahead of this one. So picture me. I sit down to listen to the Friends podcast,

but I haven't seen Ed. The first movie to come out of the Friends cast, post-Friends, where Matt LeBlanc is part of a baseball team with a monkey for a picture. Don't take my picture, boy. Okay. This is Chef Kevin.

Uh-huh. I know you haven't really been around the show in a while because the last one, you haven't been in this studio in a very long time. Chef Kevin is – he's taken on this sort of little increasing role on the show. He was an intern, production coordinator. What's his name? His name is Chef Kevin. Chef Kevin. Yes. It's like a little bit that we do. His name is Chef Kevin. Chef Kevin. Yes, it's like a little bit that we do.

Oh, okay. Kevin, do you want to say hi? Hey, guys, Chef Kevin here. See? What's that? That's like his thing. Oh, that's his thing? Yeah. Okay.

He has like, every time he comes on, he says, hey, guys, Chef Kevin here. And we play off him, and we can throw to him sometimes, and he just has developed this role. Well, you can skip that today. It's not necessary. Rather not. Fans really like Chef Kevin. He's almost sort of an honorary third host of the show in a lot of ways.

We do the ads with him all the time. This could be fun if they kind of got to know each other a little bit. Oh, yeah, the two of them. Yeah. So, Chef Kevin, sometimes we would just throw him a question or something. Do you have any questions for Tom or anything? Yeah. What's your greatest strength?

Take your time. I got to just say I'm not here to talk to you. And don't take this the wrong way. And it's not meant to be rude to you. I'm sure you serve a very important function here. I mean, you had a camera. Yeah, cracking people up. You're hanging a camera down at crotch level,

taking creep shots of everybody in the room. Yeah, that is. And I don't know if that's a thing they know about, if you're hiding the camera from them or not. I don't know. I actually don't care. That's part of his bit. Is he does creepshots?

The creepshots thing is like part of his. Okay, cool. Yeah, people now really look forward to it. We used to give them a hard time about it, but it's actually become part of the fabric of the show. Cool, cool. Well, you can ride the pine on this one, Chef Kevin. I think there's room on the show.

Honestly, he fits in to whatever shape is available to him. That's what I love about having Kev come in. Then if you fit into whatever shape, why don't you flatten yourself out and go under the door? I'll try. That would kill him. Well, I'm not the one who said he can flatten himself into any shape. No, no, no. He said he's like water.

Uh-huh. And he said whatever shape the show takes on Kevin will fit himself to it. All right. So you say flatten himself out? That would kill him.

That's disgusting. All right, look. And it smushes guts everywhere. Let's just do No, let's not. No, no, no. It smushes guts everywhere.

All right, fine. Don't put yourself under the door and flatten yourself. Are you going to pay for the cleaning bill? Tom? I'm saying

I came here with a very What? I'm saying – I came here with a very – what? I'm saying we can do a – I think a segment with the two of you, two sort of beloved characters from the show. I'm not a character. I'm a human being. Not that you're not a human being, Chef Kevin. All the characters are human beings. We've had half of them on this show.

Yeah. But – And a line on another one. Getting close. Very – Netflix, the characters. Netflix, the characters. Well, let's get back.

See, now the whole rhythm of the thing is thrown off. Right? Yeah. Yeah, it is. Am I the bad guy now? I'm the bad guy because I take offense? I will say. No, man, I'm the bad guy.

I'm the one that told a human being to flatten himself out, smush his guts everywhere. And just for a different perspective on it, I think the show is feeling a little disjointed. It was hard. It had a great flow going. We had a fun flow going. I tried to save it by basically saying from a pointillist perspective that the show was going well.

But as I was doing it, I was going like, what is this? And nobody cares more about this stuff than me. My job is to keep the thing like a coherent episode. I'm the host. I'm looking at it from 10,000 feet. I'm putting all the ducks in a row. I'm checking the boxes. So I'm like, okay, now we're at this point in coherent episode. I'm the host. I'm looking at it from 10,000 feet. I'm putting all the ducks in a row. I'm checking the boxes. So I'm like, okay, now we're at this point in the episode.

I'm giving it a nice little arc. People don't see me doing these things, but I'm doing them. But with the way it has been going so far, it feels like there's like an energy in the room that was a little aggressive that with Kevin here, I think we can kind of like balance that out a little bit. See, all due respect, it's just like the way I look at it is always when I do this thing. It's a Hayes first at bat gets on base with a single or a walk,

kind of Sean, solid, solid single, first and third maybe. And then I come up swinging the bat, right? Knock you all in, right? But what if I get you on base and you hit a grand slam? See? Whoa, and see how he's willing to sort of. Okay, then you're up next and you get hit by a pitch in the face. Then at least we score.

And then you're going to the hospital, but we'll put in a pinch runner. But that's his attitude. That he gets hit in the face with a pinch. He's willing to do that. There's no way this kid contributes to the show. What do you do on the show, boy? Do what you do on the show, boy. I want to see this.

You know, I do blue apron ads with the guys. They'll ask me questions, and I'll answer them. Chef Kevin is a good part of that. Are we doing a blueon ad now, boy? We could. Okay, please stop calling him boy. Makes me uncomfortable. Do a Blue Apron ad now, boy.

Okay. How about kid? It has to be anything. And I think we'd all be a little more comfortable with Jack. Yeah. Anything else? Let's hear with Jack. Yeah. Yeah. Anything else? Let's hear the ad. Hey, guys.

Chef Kevin here. That's right. I'm working on a Blue Apron playground where I'm taking the food. But you're not. You're sitting in a chair talking anything. So you're lying to the – It's a fun, like, little – Is it fun?

The show's really light and fun. I mean, that's always been at the heart of it. You know why we wanted to start doing this show, Tom? I know. I know because I am the show. I know. I know why we wanted to start doing this show. Okay.

Was to have some lighthearted fun about things that we just love. About things we love. That we love, Tom. Yes. And to sort of celebrate that and to just thankfully, you know, at long last nerd out without being afraid. Yeah. That the bullies were going to come in here. Sure.

No, and I'm not a bully. It's a nice show. I've never thought. But it also, the bummer is when you get a thing right and then there's just one thing just fucking the whole thing up you know what i mean just it takes just one element one person and then the whole thing's just i will say that you you know we love having you here yeah you first showed up i think for episode 91 yeah we had a we had at that point, already established. We were at minimum finding our feet.

Yes. Yeah. And then the feet showed up. And then suddenly the thing came together. Yeah, I guess you were kind of setting that up for him. You guys, look, no offense. And again, I'm going to just preface this by saying it's been about two and a half years since I've listened to an episode of the show. Okay.

Yeah. I think the last one I heard was when you guys had – was it Carlos Mencia in here? Your lips to God's ears, buddy. Who was it? I'd love to bag a big fish like Mencia. Yikes. Have a mind like that. We have not had him. I,

I struggle to think about who you are thinking of. Yeah. Any guests from me is going to be pretty ill received. I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of WTF. Oh, okay. You were,

the show you were listening to was WTF. Yeah. Well, he was on that. That was the last show of ours that you listened to. It's the last podcast I listened to. The Carlos Mencia episode of WTF. I've not listened to a podcast since.

Okay. So we've had a good thing going here. Good one to go out on. What's that now? Just a good one to go out on. If you're just going to listen to one and kind of hang it up, I'd say the Carlos Mencia WTF is probably it. And I just take it, I take

offense. I take offense. None taken. See how No, I take offense. Not none taken. And that's what is that what he does on the show here? Is that what Chef Kevin does? I will say he didn't do a great job with the

Blue Apron ad. He couldn't think of anything and he started doing one that was just kind of a half-baked version of one that we already did. I'm going to zip my lips. That's not the best example. I'm going to give you, Chef Kevin, the floor. I want to see what you do when you're just in your element and you're just killing it. Go. I think me and my element— Is this the ad now, boy?

No. I think me and my element is like contributing to the show. I try to think of myself of like someone I have the most assist on the team. I'm not trying to score all the points, you know? Or any. So you can't shoot is what you're saying. Or any point. Yeah.

You can't shoot. And maybe not that many assists. You're saying you can't shoot. That's what you're saying, right. Or any point. Yeah. You can't shoot. And maybe not that many assists. You're saying you can't shoot. That's what you're saying, right? Yeah, I'm okay with that. You've got a janky shot, right? Uh-huh. The team's going to get exploited on that.

But when we get tired, it's safe to give him the ball. Well, we've got Alonzo Ball up in here, right? Yeah. Right. Right? Yeah. Kid's got a janky shot. Sure, yeah.

So he passes, right? Yeah, it comes across his body. It takes a little longer to put it up? Yeah. Kid's got a janky shot. Sure, yeah. Right? Yeah, it comes across his body. It takes a little longer to put it up. Yeah. Very blockable. Very blockable. This is what you contribute to Hollywood Handbook?

Oh, Kevin. Oh, I'm in the hot seat now, right? Chef Kevin. This is my dude. This kid sucks. Guys. If you use that cadence, he's going to get you every time. Let me just talk to you.

Real talk, guys. Okay. Let's get real. Real talk. This kid sucks. I know. I will agree that that sucked. What he just did sucked.

That definitely sucked. And a lot of his stuff sucks. He's bringing the show down. That I don't think is actually happening. It's not all like this. I've heard him chicken out on a Blue Apron ad and then just say, I passed the ball. And then he just said, is that what you did? That's what he's added to the show.

He's knocked me off my game. He knocked me off. I came in here loaded for bear. I came in here hot as shit and i was killing it and then this kid now now i'm i don't even know which way is up i was locked in i've been drinking cold brew all day i am fired up for this you have been writing lines i've been writing lines like crazy for today's show heavy pour on the brew, and you do have several notebooks that have a lot of good stuff.

And I come in ready for my, what, 10th appearance on this show? I guess you were thrown in heat. Yeah. I haven't counted your appearances. 10 sounds high to me, but what do I care? Well, count them. I've done two live shows. Tom, can I be real with you for a second?

Okay. I'm scared. Sure, Chef Kevin. I'm sorry I got mean. I'm normally not like that. I'm normally not put in a hot seat like this. And I panicked. Well, this is podcasting, kid.

This is podcasting. Oh, boy. Boy. No, they asked me to call you kid, so I'm upgrading. You see, I'm trying to mend fences here, okay? They said call him kid, so I'm calling you kid, all right? Thanks. So this is podcasting, kid.

You feel like you're in the hot seat. Every second on the mic is a hot seat. You got to remember that. This is war. This is literally war. You know when people talk about when people throw that around and it's rude and insulting to people that actually fight in war? In this case, it's not. This is war.

Life or death. You step in front of that mic, you could die if you don't watch your back. In some ways, the stakes are even higher. Yes. If you don't watch your back. In some ways, the stakes are even higher. Yes. It's actually the only thing that's insulting. War is insulting to podcasting.

Because the stakes are in a lot of ways even higher. And none of them could do it. Yeah. None of them could do this. So this is war, kid. Hayes and Chef Kevin probably both could do a war. But none of the war guys could probably do a real podcast. No.

Especially, and I'll say this for you, to do it by yourself for three hours at a time. Yeah, yeah. None of those guys could do that. No. So listen to me, kid. There's only one thing I can do for three hours by myself at a time. What's that? Sleep, Tom.

Okay. And he's not sleeping. And I'm not talking about sleeping. His eyes are closed. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But he's not sleeping. And I'm unconscious, but I am not sleeping.

And he is resting on his side while he's doing it. Uh-huh. One hugger pillow, one pillow between the knees, and another one under my neck, but I'm not sleeping. But he's not asleep. Oh, and my alarm does go off at the end. So what did you want to know? What did I want now? What did you want to know? It does go off at the end. So what did you want to know? What did I want now?

What did you want to know? What your greatest strength is. Because you're kind of throwing me for a curve yourself. Uh-huh. Like, I started listening to WTF Postman CS, and I'm trying to, like, understand how to interview people. What's your greatest strength? What's your greatest strength? What's your greatest weakness?

He read Marin's book. Yeah, all the quotes about episodes. He's always running around here quoting Thinky Payne. Every time I think I'm out, he frigging sucks me back in with another observation from Thinky Payne. So, you know, Chef Kevin, I guess, is something of a student of comedy. Sure. So we might not want to dismiss him. At worst, he could be somebody who could listen to something that's like what you do. Look, guys, we've been doing this show for a long time, right?

Yeah, yeah. 25 minutes or so. No, guys, we've been doing this show for a long time. Yeah, yeah. 25 minutes or so. No, no, no. Yeah, but 25 minutes. We're hours deep in the thing. Some of the episodes we've done are classics. I've done episodes of Hollywood Handbook that are all-timers that I'm on more of than you, Sean.

There was one that Sean wasn't on that was a big hit. Lit up. If anything, that's the one that put the show on the map. Made some end of year lists, as I recall. Yeah, best of. But look, I've been doing this. What I'm trying to say is I've been doing it a long time.

Just like we were talking about with LeBlanc, he's too close to it. You're too close to it, Sean. Hayanc, he's too close to it. You're too close to it, Sean. Hayes, you're too close to it. These kids suck shit. Jesus. You got to bounce them.

He's going to kill the show. Wait. Is there anything I could do before you make that decision to prove myself, before you just bounce me? Well, we're going to take a vote at the end of the show on whether you're a part of it in the future or not. Okay. Have you seen Friends? I watched five minutes of an episode

and I don't like it. Okay. What do you like? What kind of shows do you like? You could recap something. The Office, Arrested Development. Check it out with Steve Brule. With Steve Brule, sure. Oh, great, yeah. That's kind of my zone.

That's your zone? Real out there shit. Do you want to recap an Office episode? Yeah, that could be badass. And Tom, how about this? You recap an Office episode. Tom can kind of help you through the process, give you a few pointers,

and then we can be nice. We can be helping each other. And then what will happen, a new podcast will be born. Yes. Yes. Again, I'm not against you. I'm not against you. I like you.

You've said that he sucks shit. And you have said that we got to lose him. He sucks shit on this show. But you think on an office recap show he could be. As a person, he seems like an all right guy. But you think he should be fired. On this show? Yeah.

You got to get him off. He's killing the show. Is this what every episode has been like? No. No. No. Just when you've been here. Just when I've been here. Just when I've been here.

Let us do it. Yeah. Okay, I'm sorry. You're right. That's what we were. Is this what he does on the thing? We're doing it already. Kind of.

He takes shots at the guests? How's that go over? In my head, I'm like, this is worse than normal, but it might just be how it normally is. Yeah. This is a good episode. This one is good. This is a good one. This one's good.

What other ones have been good lately? This one's a good one. Are you trying to think of an Office episode that you know a lot about? Sure, yeah. Okay. So you start talking about the episode, and Tom will help you get better at doing podcasting stuff. Okay. You want to do it together?

Yeah. Like we're co-hostinging it or am I just giving him advice? I think maybe you're just giving him advice. Okay, let's do it. You can sort of say how you would do it. I'm going to do it as if I'm talking into your ear. You just keep talking though. Just take the advice. Here we go. Hey guys, Chef Kevin here

and welcome to the office hours. The office hours. Today I'm going to be Hey guys, Chef Kevin here, and welcome to the... Office Hours. The Office Hours. Today I'm going to be recapping... Is each one an hour long? Yeah. It's longer than the show. It is.

Today I'm going to be recapping the episode where Michael goes to Chili's with... What season? Tim Meadows in season one or two, and he makes a big deal. It's a big episode because he proves to Jan that he's actually a good businessman, even though everyone thinks he's really bad. Who wrote it?

Who directed it? Michael Schur wrote it. It's got to be Qampus. Qampus wrote it. The Qampus. The Qampus wrote it, and Michael Schur directed it. Okay. Tell them about yourself now, because you've got to differentiate from any other office podcast.

Before we go into this episode, I'd like to just dabble in my personal life. You say before you go into it. That sounds like it sounds a little stagey. Just say, hey, it's me. And Tom, can I give you a tip on the tips you're giving Kevin? Well, his name's Kevin. And one of the best characters from the show is named Kevin. So maybe there's Kevin's Corner where Chef Kevin tells you about what Kevin from The Office did.

He's talking like Kevin. From the perspective of a Kevin, yeah. Great. Okay. Talk like you're just like – don't act like – just act like you're friends with the audience. No, I'm not trying to plug my thing again now, but it's just like you're friends with the audience. Like they've been here before. Yeah.

It's me again. Hey, it's Kevin again. So it's me again. Yeah, life's going well. I can't complain. No, nobody cares about your own life in this. The office is what we're focusing on here. We're focusing on the office right now.

And I want to hop into Kevin's corner. In this episode – It's a little early to hop into Kevin's corner. It is way, way too early. Supplementary bit. Supplementary bit. Yeah, no. It should be...

You'll start with a sidebar. People should be looking forward to it for a lot of the episodes so that they actually stick around through a lot of the crap. That's a great point.

Say, in two minutes we got Kevin's corner coming up, but let me tell you about the episode first. In two minutes we got Kevin's...

Go back to the beginning. Hey guys, Chef Kevin here and welcome to an episode of Office Hours. In two minutes, we've got Kevin. Go back to the beginning. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here. And welcome to an episode of Office Hours. Are you sure you want to be Chef Kevin on this? Not a chance to differentiate from Hollywood Handbook a little bit. Hey, guys. It's Kevin Bartell here.

And I'm on an episode. I feel like Chef Kevin is the only thing he has going for him. I think I'm going to say that. The fact that he's recognized at all for being that. That would help a lot. Go back to Chef Kevin. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here.

And this is an episode of Office Hours. Today we're going Kevin. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here. And this is an episode of The Office Hours. Today we're going to talk about the episode. Office Hours. The ultimate office recap podcast. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here. And today is every hour on the hour. Hey, guys.

Chef Kevin here. It comes out every hour? Yeah. Okay. It gets through a comes out every hour. Yeah. Okay. It gets for a season in one day. Wow. Hey, guys. Chef Kevin here, and welcome to the Office Hours, the ultimate office recap show every

hour on the hour. It's 2 p.m., and so that means we're going to be talking about the Chili's episode where Michael and Jan have a big meeting at a Chili's. In about two minutes, we're going to hop into a Kevin's Corner, so look forward to that. So this episode, it's kind of a turning point for Michael Scott because he – As played by? As played by Steve Carell. Because you just got to make sure people don't confuse it with, because there's a lot of offices around the world.

Should we say what Steve Carell's from? Yeah, that's a good idea. Give some of his credits. You know Steve Carell from 40- Dan in Real Life. Dan in Real Life, 40-year-old virgin. The Freaks Dinner. The Freaks Dinner.

Dinner for freaks. Dinner for freaks. This episodeaks this episode of the office was written by it's dinner for smokes or as i call it the freaks dinner yeah this is uh you also know i'm from dan in real life 40 and then say and then say and from foxcatcher, or as I call it, the freak's other dinner. Go. Go. You know Michael Scott, or sorry, you know Steve Carell from Dan in Real Life, Dinner for Schmucks, which I call the freak's dinner,

or on Fox, which was Foxcatcher, which I call the's not on Fox now. It's a movie. Oh, Fox Catcher, which I'll call the other dinner for freaks. Today's... Or dinner for the other freaks. The freaks other dinner. Today's episode. Today's episode is when Michael and Jan go to Chili's. This was... It's not Michael and Jan go to Chili's. Just shy of looking up the title.

It's Michael has a client. Michael has a client. And he goes to Chili's with Jan. Initially, they're supposed to be at a conference room. And Michael changes the venue to Chili's. And Jan is disgusted with Michael's antics. In this episode, Michael is supposed to have a meeting with a client

in a conference room, but then – We should probably also make it clear that the show is not sponsored by Chili's. Just from an integrity standpoint, this is not some sort of covert ad placement. Before I hop into the details of the episode, I just want to let my listeners know Chili's is in no way sponsoring this show. We have no – Maybe say a couple of your favorite dishes. Yeah, because it's a way to lure them in. It can actually be...

And maybe make it the Southwestern Egg Rolls. You know, Chili's is not sponsoring this show in any way, but I am a fan of a couple of their dishes. The Southwestern Egg Roll. Yeah, we may want to describe those as yum-diddle-yum-pshus there, Chef Kev. I like to describe those as yum-diddle-yum-tious there,

Chef Kev. And, you know, I like to call them the yum-diddle-yum-tious. Or you can, you know, check out the Awesome Blossom Extra Awesome, which is you know, something that Michael says later on in the episode. So, you know, Chili's, if you're listening. That is the Awesome Blossom at Outback as well.

That's a little confusing. That's the Bloomin' Onion. That's the Bloomin' Onion. That's the Bloomin' Onion. Great. I don't know if they do it anymore at your place. Not to be confused with the Bloomin' Onion. The Awesome Blossom is not to be confused with the Bloomin' Onion. That's Outback Steakhouse. And Tom, does Chef Kevin remember who played Jan?

Don't touch that computer. Yeah. Come on. And I have a guess. I know the answer and I do not like the show. Allura Harding. That's correct.

Jan is played by Allura Harding. Oh, God. And it's written by Qualms. The Qampus. The Qampus. He directed every episode almost.

Written and directed by the Qampus. So in every episode almost. Written and directed by The Qampus. So in this episode, Michael takes a client. Well, they're supposed to have a meeting in a conference room. However, Michael and Jan are supposed to have a meeting with a client in a conference room. For? For their company to see if they'd be. Which is? Dr. Mifflin. They're supposed to have a meeting to see if they'd be – Which is? Dunder Mifflin.

They're supposed to have a meeting to see if this client – It's your favorite show. This client. It's like your favorite thing in the world. They're supposed to have a meeting with this client to see if he's interested in – Paper. Paper with Dunder Mifflin. A top paper company in Pennsylvania.

Talk about Scranton. They're supposed to have a meeting to see if – Are you not going to do Scranton fun facts on the office hours? Yeah. Should I hop into Kevin's corner? No. Oh, god damn it. Kevin.

We're only like 15 seconds in. Sorry. So the Dunder Mifflin – let's hop into Scranton fun facts. Did you know that Scranton doesn't have a Major League Baseball team? Did you also know that Scranton is – Is that true? Did you know that – I'll look it up, but I think it is true.

Scranton has the number one car dealership in Pennsylvania, believe it or not. Did you know? We don't need three facts. Yeah, we don't need the editorializing. Just tell us if it has the best car dealership. I just have to say also, if you're going to do two facts in a thing, then you're making one fact the funner fact, and then one fact is the fun fact.

You just say, hey, the fun fact is Grant doesn't is the fun fact. You just say the fun fact, Scranton doesn't have a baseball team. The funner fact is the thing you said about the car dealership. And I would maybe swap them. I would maybe swap the facts. The first one is interesting but not fun. Here's my quick

Scranton facts for you. Don't do this whole thing again. Just go back to the plot of the episode. Anyway, Jan... I also want to make it clear that the car dealership Scranton facts for you. Don't do this whole thing again. Just go back to the plot of the episode. Yeah. Anyway, Jan. I also want to make it clear that the car dealership is not a sponsor of the podcast as well. I just want to say real quick before I hop back into the episode that the car dealership is not a sponsor. And I don't think they ever will be one.

So you can kind of earn some credibility by really slamming them and maybe say that their cars suck shit. Yeah. Say you bought a car from them. Merc them. Yeah. So just to let you guys know, this grand car dealership is not – we don't have any sort of partnership. They're not an advertiser. And I bought a car from them.

And just to be honest, I bought a car from them. And it blew up. And it blew up. I'm lucky to be honest, I bought a car from them. And it blew up. And it blew up. I'm lucky to be alive. I'm truly lucky to be alive. But some others were not so lucky, right? But some others were not so lucky. Six people.

Six people. Died that day. Died that day. It's very, should I take like a moment of silence or something? We'll edit it in. We'll edit in the moment of silence. Yeah. And the owner of the car dealership.

And the owner of the car dealership. Is going to be the next one to fall. You know what I mean. The owner of the car dealership is going to be the next one to fall. If you know what I mean. No, you do know what I mean. And then explain. Don't, yeah.

And then explain what you mean. Go. Then say what you mean in your words. Make it your own. You know what I mean. And now explain what you mean by that. I'm going to give you a line reading on this. Okay.

And the owner, let me give you the line reading. And the owner of the car dealership. And the owner of the car dealership. Is going to be the next one to fall. Is going to be the next one to fall. Is going to be the next one to fall. You know what I mean. You know what I mean. And then say what you mean.

Then that's on you. Put it in your own words. I'm going to run him over with the car. So the episode begins with Jan and Michael. Michael and Jan. Michael and Jan. Michael is a and Jan. Michael and Jan. Michael's a prime character. Michael and Jan.

And they're having a miscommunication about the meeting they're supposed to have with the client who's interested in buying some paper with Dunder Mifflin. Meanwhile. Dwight. Dwight. Is. Is. What? You tell me.

Meanwhile, Dwight is dealing with Jim and Pam because they're pulling pranks on him, and he does not appreciate that. Kevin, I don't even like this show. This is the episode with threat level midnight. Whoa, awesome. Yeah. So Pam, meanwhile, Pam and Jim. Jim and Pam. Jim and Pam because Jim is a primary character.

Pam is also a primary character. It's alphabetical order. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam find in Michael's desk – Actually go Pam and Jim. Meanwhile, Pam and Jim find – That hits my ear better too. We thought of this episode. To you, it was just about they go to Chili's.

of this episode. To you, it was just about they go to Chili's. Meanwhile, Pam and Jim find a script that Michael has written called Threat Level Midnight. A motion picture script. A motion picture script. Screenplay. Screenplay. They all agree

that they're going to do a table read of Threat Level Midnight. Meanwhile, should I hop into Kevin's Corner? Michael Scarn. Michael Scarn. And this is a favorite character you'll probably know called Michael Scarn.

Now it's time to go to Kevin's Corner. You think that's a character? You know nothing about the show. That's like, it's in the script. Go to Kevin's Corner. And you may want to say what Stanley's doing. Phyllis. Thank you, Angela Kinsey.

Do you know who plays Kevin, Kevin? His last name's Baumgartner, right? You don't know that his first name is Brian? Brian Baumgartner. And do an impression of him. You have to do Kevin's Corner as Kevin. Yeah, let's just get that out of the way. Let's knock out Kevin's Corner, and then we can stitch it in anywhere.

Welcome to Kevin's Corner. Draw it out. Draw it out. Welcome to Kevin's Corner. Make a meal of it. Welcome. Welcome to Kevin's Corner. It's me, Kevin.

It's me, Kevin. I'm in accounting. I'm in accounting. I'm in accounting. Is he in accounting? Yes. In this episode, I— Well, don't talk about the episode. Do what Kevin would be talking about now in 2018.

In 2018, I just watched the Super Bowl, but— Did you watch it on tape? This is old. But I watched it on tape. Update it. But I watched it on Vimeo. That's good. That's good.

Slip in a Chili's plug. Slip in a Chili's plug from Kevin. Are you hungry for lunch? Well, then you got to check out Chili's. Their sides are going to blow your mind. You can only get lunch commercials from them now. Like, think about that stuff. You know what I mean?

You're going to just do lunch commercials for them, and you're leaving a bunch of the big commercials on the table. Mention the baby back ribs and the margaritas. You definitely gotta check out for any meal the baby back, baby back, baby back. Don't sing the song. You gotta check out the baby back ribs

and the margaritas. My favorite. If you're gonna do the song, do it like the old 97's guy. Chili's. Baby back, baby back, baby back. Uh, Chili's. Baby back, baby back, baby back. It's at Kevin's Corner.

I'll be back next week. I'll be back next week. With? With. What should he be back next week with? Um, well, maybe he shouldn't come back. Yeah. Maybe or not. He should probably say he won't be back. Yeah. Maybe, or not. I mean, he should probably say he won't be back.

Yeah. He should say I'm never coming back. Oh, yeah. He should say he's never coming back, and he should say something tells me that car I'm about to drive home in is going to get the job done this time. Do the end. Do the end now. This was an episode of Kevin's Corner. I won't be back next week.

No, I will be back next week. I will be back next week. After I go get my new car. After I go get my new car. From the biggest car dealership. From the biggest car dealership in Scranton. It'll definitely do the job this time. See you next week.

So just get now to the big thing that happens in the episode with Michael. So the big thing that happens in this episode is Michael Scott does, like he makes the deal, and then at the end of the episode jan is so like overwhelmed and impressed that her and michael scott kiss in the parking lot it makes me it's weird that like that this one is whether you zeroed in or that this was like like an exciting episode for you

because you saw like two like when you watched it just like stuck with you and michael and jan kissed you know what i mean yeah you just picture watching that lean into it though good describe that and how and how make it a raw if it's erotic for you then make it erotic for me yeah like what's creepy for me is how you seem to be Like underselling You're so detached from This moment that was clearly Sort of a formative sexual experience Of yours And it's upsetting

Because normally that is associated With some kind of passion When it's like the first time you ever You know took a nap Because we asked you to pick it They did hundreds of episodes. You zeroed in on the episode where Michael and Jan kissed. It's an interesting psychological experiment.

Let's take us back to when you first watched the episode and talk about that, what that was like. The big thing in this episode was when Michael and Jan kiss. I saw this at 14 years old, and let's just say it changed my life sexually. I never saw anyone kiss on screen so intimately, and it opened up a whole new world for me. I became brave and started talking to women. Scale of one to five boners.

How many boners are you going to give it? If I were to give this scene one to five boners, I give it five boners. That's right. And how many boners do you give the episode overall? Overall, I also give the episode five boners. You can't give everything five boners.

Okay, four boners. You're right. I give the episode five boners. You can't give everything five boners. Okay, four boners. It loses all meaning. You're right, you're right. I give the kiss five boners, and I give the episode four boners. Yeah. And what lost the boner for it? What lost the boner for me? You can't just say four boners and explain why it's not five.

Sure. What lost the boner for me? I want the audience to trust you and to really be able to understand where the boner rating is coming from. What lost the boner for me was when Threat Level Midnight just got a little too detailed. It was a good B story, but it wasn't really blowing me away. I kind of wish they focused more on Michael and Jan talking to the client about Christian,

as played by Tim Meadows, from Saturday Night Live, and Dinner for Schmucks, Ladies' Man, Son of Zorn, Tim Meadows. From? Saturday Night Live. And? Dinner for Schmucks. Ladies Man. Ladies Man. Son of Zorn. Son of Zorn.

And Dewey Cox, Walk Hard. And Goldbergs. And the Goldbergs. That's what... Where he plays. Where he plays. Let's see who he plays. John Goldberg. Okay, we just got to get to the, I'm feeling like what this needs is like a, like if he does a character, I like his character work.

That's been the highlight for me so far as well. The Kevin thing was great, yeah. Yeah. character work. That's been the highlight for me so far as well. The Kevin thing was great. Yeah. What if he does a thing where he is a toilet in the Dunder Mifflin men's room? Oh, and he talks about all the stuff he's seen and who's the stinkiest or whatever.

Yeah. And what's the voice of a toilet that would be in that men's room? Should I like segue to this? Is that the voice? I am Tommy the Toilet. Tommy the Toilet. Oh, that's nice. Tommy the Toilet.

And welcome to Shit Happens. Oh, so you're just calling. Please make it Tony the Toilet, okay? Hi, I'm Tony the Toilet. And welcome to Shit Happens. Today we're talking. The podcast. This is like a sub.

Yeah. The podcast where we talk about who. What goes on in my world. What goes on in my world in the Dunder Mifflin? A toilet in the Dunder Mifflin men's room. A toilet in the Dunder Mifflin men's room. Oh, and P.S., the women's room is broken this week. P.S., the women's room is broken this week.

So all the women are going to have to be using me. So all the women are going to have to be using me. And then pick how you feel about that. I mean, you could be like, ooh, lucky me if you're a creep. Or you can be like, you know, a great choice. I'm pissed off. Okay. That's okay.

It's a choice. It's a choice. We'll go back and fix when you called the company Dunder Mifflin. Yeah. I thought I was going to have the week off because I thought they were doing construction in the men's room. But nope, turns out the ladies room. So I got – You've completely lost the voice. I got loads of dumps.

And let's just say Angela is – Bring it. Slip of flush. What did you say? Flush. Flush. No, flush. Excuse me.

Sorry. Yeah, but excuse me. Excuse me while I clear my throat. I did a big flush. Excuse me as I clear my throat. Anyway. And then for a long time make this sound. As the bowl

refills. And now the float valve is clicking into place in the tank. That shit happens. Say, uh-oh. Uh-oh. You don't get to end it yet. Here comes.

Here comes. Who comes in? Dwight. Here comes Dwight. Now do Dwight. Maybe reference what his beat farm does to his bowel movements. Uh-oh. Here comes Dwight. Maybe reference what his beat farm does to his bowel movements. Uh-oh, here comes Dwight.

Oh, man. But nothing gross. These beats are really... I feel like a beat is gonna come out of me. Ha ha ha! I mentioned now Backstrom's coming into the bathroom. Backstrom? Yeah, and maybe a combo between Backstrom, Dwight, and the rocker.

Hey, it's me, Backstrom. And the rocker. I'm going to solve the mystery. I'm going to solve the mystery. I'm going to solve the mystery. Of this toilet. Of this toilet. Go. Yeah.

And maybe the mystery is who clogged it, and maybe Backstrom knows it was him. Someone clogged this toilet. Oh, it smells like beets. I think it's Dwight. You lost the voice a little bit. Yeah, that's okay. Is Tony solving the mystery or is Backstrom? Seems like they could help each other.

They could be an interview team. Backstrom asks Tony for. Now you've got my attention. Like he interviews him. Who's Backstrom again? I thought you liked the show. You don't go and support the cast of your favorite show

and they go do their next big project. It's because of people like you. Backstrom is a total dick. Yeah. Detective. Man, this beat. He really dropped a beat in here. Maybe it's like a drum beat too or something.

Oh, the rocker could do that. Oh, that's good. That's good, Kevin. Yeah. Someone really dropped a beat in here, and the rocker goes, boom-cha-cha-cha, boom-cha-boom-cha. And then Tony rolls his eyes, but it's just like the toilet lever just kind of like – or maybe it's his eyebrows kind of like went up or down.

It's the lid of the tank. Yeah, kind of slants. It's a lever. Yeah. It's not going to read as an eye roll. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And then – Here comes Moe's. Here comes Moe's. Here comes Moe's. What's Moe's say? I really gotta... spray. And then... And Middle Ditch is busting in now

and then Middle Ditch comes in yeah comes Robert California yeah and Robert California hey are all our bowels all synced up seems like we all gotta go doo doo it seems like this was the season that Kevin synced up. Seems like we all gotta go doo-doo.

It seems like this was the season that Kevin, like that was what he was most excited about was doing Robert California. It feels like that's when he kind of showed up. Well, I think that's a decent first episode. That was good. I will say the toilet thing is a

Gilmore Guys segment. So we can't do... Use that. Yeah, we can't use that. But I think it's good to have it. It's great for practice especially. You do it in the style of the people that have done it successfully.

I gotta say, kid, you showed me something. Thank you. I appreciate your help. You helped me. I didn't say it was good what you showed me something. Thank you. I appreciate your help. You helped me. I didn't say it was good what you showed me. I was saying I got to say you showed me something, and I still stand by you. Okay, look, I'll put it upon – it's time for you to leave the nest. This office podcast is going to take a lot of time and a lot of focus.

And I feel like the Hollywood handbook thing is probably just going to clog up too much of your schedule, right? I like that you put it in terms Tony could understand. Well, I figure he has to come out of the character still, so there's still traces of Tony kind of processing the thoughts. Yeah, it can be tough to shake that. So are you suggesting that Kevin go full-time on the office thing and then Hollywood handbook can go back to being, in your conception, just the three of us? Yeah, just the three of us. The three amigos are back again, right? I will say that the one thing that Kevin does that you do not, that doesn't necessarily show up on Mike, is he asks if we want a guest, texts them, and then texts us back that they can't do that.

Okay, well, the one thing I would say that Kevin can do and has that I don't have is either of your phone numbers. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I would have loved nothing more than to have shot you a text and say, I'm in town, guys. When? Yeah, but it would have to be a guest other than you. Not really. If you see yourself as one of the hosts, that would have to maybe lose the guest thing?

I'm kind of like, it's kind of like guard forward. Guest host. Like guest slash host. I can sit in either chair. Or both. Yeah. So, yeah, it was fun doing this. And let's do another one.

Like Ernie Banks said. Let's play two. Okay. Right? So we're going to ramp it up now. Thanks everyone for listening to this episode of Hollywood Handbook. We're going to double dip now. We're going to knock another one out. It's a little long. We'll do a longer one on the second go around.

So a little bonus round. Probably pull a half hour out of that. Slap it up on the premium content. And yeah, thank you. I'll start off. So, yeah, so it's me and Dennis from Sunny and Dennis the Menace. And we're listening to the office podcast and then Dennis

the menace is like where's Tony the toilet? And then Dennis from Sonny is like he's coming up. It's a supplementary segment. Oh Tom. What?

What up? what up? Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to Hollywood Handbook, the free and open source guide to twists and turns of the show business that we call show business. And what fur. And what a week, yeah. And it's me, Tom.

I'm here, and I've got with me Sean and Hayes are with me this week. Hi. Hey. So what's been going on in Hollywood that's driving you guys? What's got a bee in your bonnet about Hollywood? What's my beef? Yeah. A bee in the bonnet. Uh-huh.

What bee do you have in your bonnet? The Oscars are coming up. Right, yes, and that really steams my clams. I can't believe they're doing the Oscars so soon. Well, thanks for everyone listening. The Friends podcast is going great. I appreciate you letting me plug it on here, and

yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay. Great. Is that the way you say it? Bye. Okay. I'm a horny girl wolf. This has been an Earwolf production. Executive produced by Scott Aukerman, Colin Anderson, and Chris Bannon.

For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com. Ow. Ooh. That was a HeadGum Podcast.