Hollywood Handbook - Try Month, Our Close Friends 3

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

The Boys once again try to save Try Month with quantity over quality. Also did you know there's a new baseball show on the Patreon with Hayes, Carl and Greg Gallant? Check out The Filthy Ones on The Bundle tier at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook! Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Like the show? Rate Hollywood Handbook 5-Stars on Apple PodcastsAdvertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey folks, its Casey from Headgum and I am making a movie but I need your help to make it happen. I am making this thing with many familiar faces from the headgum world. Anya Khan of Skyah is one of the producers, the Doe Boys are executive producers, Jeffrey James is going to be in the movie. I am just thrilled to be making a movie with my friends. It's really, truly, honestly the only thing I've ever wanted to do in my life. And it's beautiful that it's happening, that we're making it happen.

And I hope that you will be a part of it. We are currently raising funds on kickstarter and you can go to casemakesmovies.com to learn more. Thank you for your time and enjoy the show. This is the end episode of Tri-Month. It's the last episode of March. That's me, god damn it! What about me wanting my headphones turned down makes you think I want you to talk loud and say god damn it? Well, I can't hear how loud I'm being because you're blaming me for what just happened? What about you wanting your headphones turned down

makes him think that I wanted my headphones turned down. Well, what's a, and you turned that on me. He's got the wrong one. Okay, so let's just break it down. And it's Tri-Month and we really want this episode to have good vibes. He has the wrong one.

So let's just say, there's two scenarios. They're both bad. Yes. But what do you think is worse? Scenario one, someone who wants their headphones loud, temporarily has the sound a little quieter. Here's scenario two, someone who wants their headphones

quiet because it's hurting their ears, has the volume increase from the person who is speaking, potentially damaging permanently their ability to hear for the rest of their life. Because I cannot hear. You understand? He took that away from me. You being able to hear your headphones should not affect.

I agree it shouldn't. I agree it shouldn't. But it does because of what he did. How loud you speak in that brief period of time when we are trying to get the levels right. There's nothing coming in. If the headphones are down, that means I actually am completely cut off.

I don't wanna fight. Guess what my heart rate is right now. Oh my gosh, all right. Well, are we really gonna guess? Yes. 281. No, this is the thing where he says, just one, Leah.

Okay. Don't understand what that means at all. I don't really get it either. I don't think of her as a heart rate. Like his heart, the rate of his heart is just for one person or something, I guess is the idea. I don't think of that as a rate, like the going rate for my heart or something.

One per heart. Oh, there's only one. There's only one per heart. Oh yeah, it's like, if you have to ask, you can't afford it. Because it's already sold to my one, my betrothed, my beloved. And it used to be like, you know, like 90 per minute rate, but for like women that he was like thinking about.

Yes. You know? It's 140, cause that's how nervous I am and excited about the big episode we have today. That's interesting. It's just about 140 minutes into the episode and it's already gone so badly. But it is the last week of Tri-Month and Kevin said,

let's pull out all the stops, what's the one thing our fans have always been positive about? And it is of course Zoom episodes. So he did manage to kind of wind the clock back to the vintage, good old golden age of the podcast when it was on Zoom and everyone complained every week and we'll be hearing those voices again. And people are saying, so this is Tri-Month,

so is each one of these guests, like somehow one fraction of a full tri person, because then when you just get the one, if it were like a tri month guest, no, each one of these would be a tri month guest on their own. And also I can't hear you, even with my headphones on, when you're at home, I can't hear you when you ask those things.

Yes. Okay, here are- And I can't probably hear anything ever again because of how loud hate was. Because of what Kevin did. Yeah, and here's the first guest. Oh. It's Broden and you're like, okay, Broden, sure.

Okay, Broden, Broden. The one of them is sick, guess who it is? Of course, it's disgusting Mark, who's always sucking on fucking fire hydrants and shit all over the streets. Just cannot keep nasty stuff out of his mouth. Oh, no. Oh, shit. That one's not Mark.

It's disgusting Mark. What's his name? That one's not Mark. Disgusting Mark. I don't know exactly. Well, this, I think it's. I think it's Zark. Oh, are you talking to, are you asking who I am? I don't know exactly. Well this, I think it's. I think it's Zark.

Oh, are you talking, are you asking who I am? I think that one is Zark. But I thought, okay, oh wait, so hang on. Mark is off. The sick one isn't here at all, right? Mark is off sucking on a fire hydrant. Yeah. Yes. And we've got Zark.

We have Zark. We have Zark Brodin and Mark is gone. Whatever guys, you can't hurt me. What happened to you Zark? No one's trying to hurt you Zark, but you do seem, so. It's the guys from Auntie Donna. I assume you're looking at us on a monitor that's to the left wall, but it does give the impression

that you are simultaneously podcasting and checking on a bet that is your entire life savings. Like there's a game on the line and you really, really need something to happen on a tiny flat screen on the other wall. I had kind of thought, so we talked about this last, I mean, Broden's been freelancing. Like let's get that out of the way.

Broden is fully setting himself up to abandon the group. Which by the way, somebody had to. We get the email like, hey, Auntie Donna wants to do your show, it's just Broden. That email has never been said. I've never sent that email. Once every couple weeks.

No, Uncle Donna. Can you, if you're gonna say, ask Kevin, I wanna speak to Kevin and get that confirmed. And, I assumed it was because, and Broden's doing the footy show, and he's gonna deny that as well, he's off doing a footy show by himself. I'm not, I'm not.

Well, and now he admits it. He's got the footy show, he's got the one man show, he's got the theater, he's got the one man show. All kinds of stuff. And, Zark, what's going on? He's got the one man show and the theater. He's got the one man show. All kinds of stuff. And Zark, what's going on? You're just putting it all on the all blacks or whatever, whoever. Yeah, that's a great question guys.

Listen, I'm doing stuff as well. I got stuff going on. Aunty Donna's got some exciting stuff on the horizon. But my understanding is that's just Broden. Okay, sure, sure. Yeah, well, we do have a meeting scheduled for next Thursday. We don't need to go into that now. We don't- this is not- we're asked to come on for a chat. I don't think- who is this for? Our listeners would love to hear about the meeting. It sounds like this is a pretty big meeting. It on for a chat. I don't think, who is this for? Well, our listeners would love to hear about the meeting. It sounds like this is a pretty big meeting.

There's a lot of your fans are our fans as well. Oh my God. You know, this behind the scenes stuff, we had a whole, you know, a row, bit of a row, bit of a row about the headphones earlier. And everybody got to hear behind the scenes. They love this stuff. So what's the meeting is the meeting?

I don't think what if I just came on and started saying oh pickleball this pickleball that and you don't hear me do that Do you I'm gonna be honest see if I didn't promoting the big movie huge huge achievement. Oh, yes Oh, no, please don't. Oh, I better talk about my movie Yeah, I mean like well I'm just saying like I don't come in in here and air dirty laundry or just start picking and talking about meetings and stuff. Words getting out about the movie, eh? So you are, like, you do find your freelancing

to be reprehensible. I'm not freelancing. If you think that him going and making a movie- You think it's an insult to talk about my movie. Hayes actually supports the movie. Is dirty laundry. He damn near watched it. That's no, you're just, you're doing that thing that the Americans do where you take something and you put it, you put it on it, turn it upside down and you flip it around.

No, there's no meeting. He's talking about maps. There is a meeting though, Broden. There is a meeting. You told me, you told me we need to have a meeting. You said it's about that time I made you sign a contract before a show. So I don't know if this is relevant, but a couple of shows ago, Broden refused to get on stage.

But this is not something about the ownership of the name. We relevant. No, that is you do know if that's relevant. Don't you know, don't minimize that. I've come on. That's a great time. A day I've come on here. I've given you my time of day. I've given, hey, I've given you our time of day. We're excited. We're talking about a big exciting show touring later this year. Um, and I think that's what I'm talking about.

If you want to get on here and talk. To promote the Arnie Donovan, but I don't know. There's just been some things said in this podcast that I've never thought about. Why is it that you pressured us to have sole ownership of the name? Why do we have a meeting next Thursday? I wanna say the last time you guys were on,

you were wearing the chain that Broden is wearing right now. And so it seems to me that there's been some kind of exchange. Was that to get him to come on stage for the next show? You had to make a trade. There's a barter system thing. I'm doing you a favor coming on here. And I think he's asked a simple question about the chain, man. Like, yeah, we have a system with whoever wears the chain makes the decisions.

When I held the chain, I, I always did what was driving. Did you get a TV show during that? Mm hmm. That's right. We got it. We got two TV shows during that time. And now Broden has the chain and yet he's pressuring me into signing contracts. He's having meetings. I don't know. I think it's about time that I challenge literally chain Broden. It's literally a chain. It literally does nothing.

It's just symbolic and I'll pass it on eventually. I think it's time, Broden. I don't think I've been waiting for too long. I deserve that chain and I want that chain. And I'm happy to announce here on the Hollywood Handbook podcast that I challenge you for the chain. OK, great. podcast that I challenge you for the chain.

OK, so it sounds like there's some sort of dual scenario that goes into the chain swapping necks, as it were. Has Mark ever worn the chain just from an Auntie Donna historian here? Mark's sick. He's still in the group. Mark's sick. He's still in the group. OK. But has he ever? I'm happy to share this. And I don't know what Broden's doing. He's sort of keeping the PR line. Mark has never held the chain, but he has the record for most challenges for the chain. So he has challenged for the chain. He's issuing

challenges. And he's fought for the chain more than any of us, but he has failed every time. And now for our audience who's confused, people think like, oh, like it's things are different in Australia, their summers are winter and things like that. And in Australia, it is the guy. Toilets upside down. Toilets upside down. The toilets are upside down, yes.

And in Australia, it's the guy with the sunglasses and like his arms folded, it is the one that is wanting to stay in the group and not go solo. So very different energy, right? Yes. Yeah. Too cool for school, right? I, I don't give a heck.

Right? Right. And that in Australia means I'm ready to be a team player. I, I, I love that. I have, I saw such a great question in a clip the other day from our friends at Stradio Lab. Did you see this clip, Hayes? I saw one that they got in trouble for,

but this is probably a different one. I saw a great one where they were talking to Claudia O'Doherty and they were asking me how annoyed she was when it became incredibly trendy to do an impression of an Australian accent. I'm just gonna straight up steal from their show. I thought it was good. And I thought, well, we're all friends here.

Let's use their content. Were you aware of just like, I think maybe three years ago it started and it has never stopped, that people basically say the word no with an R at the end and go, this is my Australian accent. No, no, nar. That became a thing to say and write.

People will write it out. And they go this is now Australian, this is all it is to us. And as we talk about the cultural differences, it seems relevant. Did that drive you nuts? Do you find it to be accurate? How do you say it?

Yeah, just go all I mean You heard the podcast. Yeah, you're talking about the podcast. So they asked Claudia that yeah, I answered that question Yeah, sorry guys. I was great seeing you but we got some people in the waiting room But thanks so much for being here. That was that really serious. Can you let bro? The show at least can you letden promote our tour at least? It was a good question. Yeah. Yeah.

Let Broden promote his show. Not his show, man. Drem, coming to America, announcing late April. It's called Drem. Yeah. It's a play on dream, you know, and some of us in the rest of the world, we still dream coming to America. Yeah. And we're, we're bringing to you hope and the ability to dream.

And I think, I think that's what you need over there right now. Where in America is it going to be? I don't know. Okay. Will you guys be in the same room for that show? It's just this one. Figure it out. It's going to be, that'll all become show? It's just this one. Figure it out.

It's gonna be, that'll all become clear. It's my wife. Hold on. And also- Who's next? Who's next? The dog video we did that one time. That dog video.

Oh, that was so cute. I am, yeah. I think so having us on your podcast. We can hear her voice on the mic. Is that okay? Did they just leave? We're bringing in someone. Let's bring in the next guest while this is being resolved.

I think you could, yeah. So thank you so much to Zach and Broden. Oh my God. Okay, this is gonna be, this is gonna be, this'll be bad. Look, word. Wow, okay. You gotta bring that back.

We had developed kind of a, a cadence, I'll just put it out there. We had developed a set of expectations where, yes, it's clear, where she was doing the show every like six weeks or something. Yeah. Sometimes even more often than that. Yeah.

And then. We had a nice thing going and it sort of naturally ran its course. More often than that. Yeah. And then. We had a nice thing going and it sort of naturally ran its course. I thought we did. It kind of ran its course. Stop contacting her. I think everyone kind of felt at the same time like, hey, this is a natural ending for this

and I think it was one of those mutual things where both parties decided. I mean, if everyone means you guys, then yeah. We're definitely a part of everyone. You had more to say, you had more stories to tell. Or I guess even one story. Like, you were ramping up to maybe telling a story. You barely told any stories on the show. That's my recollection, part of the reason we decided that. And I take responsibility for that, We're ramping up to maybe barely telling a story. Any stories on the show. Right.

That's my recollection, part of the reason we decided that. And I take responsibility for that, and I definitely was like, you know, like a lot of holidays passed. You were a little guarded. Yeah. You know, like I watched Halloween go by,

I watched Thanksgiving go by, I watched Christmas go by, you know, New Year's, like I watched all the- Congratulations. Okay, the point is- not everybody gets to see all those holidays. You made it. We lost a lot of people. It's been hey, it's been a brutal, tough year. And for you to see all those holidays and to still be, you know. Yeah, I mean, this industry is struggling and you seem to be like

you seem to be like you seem to be like really reveling and like oh my gosh all these celebrations and You didn't even mention st. Patrick's Day and you didn't need to Well, the point is the point I'm trying to make is is that as every holiday approached I was like waiting for you guys to reach out Cuz I was like put them on they They're going to every fucking calendar still still. And yeah, thanks. And I get them.

Like I'm trying to get you guys out of my head. And then my phone is like, oh, it's you know, it's Valentine's Day. And it's but the point is, is like obviously like Love and Santa the movie. It didn't work like it shouldn't be that hard. You know, oh, my gosh, that is what we used to talk about with you. It is. And I've let it go. You never told the damn story, yeah.

I've let it go, I've let it go. Like I'm done, it's over. Like I'm not even gonna try to bring it back again. But I do think- Your body language is disagreeing with the verbiage here because it feels like you're holding very tightly onto this love and Santa idea. What I'm holding onto the verbiage here, because it feels like you're holding very tightly onto this love and Santa idea.

What I'm holding onto is you guys. You're carrying it into your shoulders, your neck and shoulders. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What I'm holding onto is you guys. Can you unclench your jaw? Hey, stop scrolling for a second, Clea.

Can you just take a second to unclench your jaw and just relax your face for a second? Just drop it down. Big ol' breath. Big, big, oh, can sip of oxygen, right? Ooh, and go ahead and make a noise. Go ahead and make a noise when you let that out.

Ah. Oh. Okay. Hey, can you stop scrolling for a second? Just blow your nose, get all your boogies out. Yeah, get them all gone. You are so dysregulated right now that you're generating mucus at an alarming rate.

And I can feel your pulse from here. Yeah, I feel sick. It's disturbing. You look ill, you look unwell. Thank you. Yeah, I don't think, I mean. Thank you, because I didn't wanna argue about it. I can see why you're counting the holidays you get to see. Because like I think, you know, yeah, let's not like the hugest number, you know,

I like I guess I really like I recognize I blew it like I'm really owning my part in this. Oh my God. But I don't think that we know I my part in this. But I don't think that we, no I do, I do. But I think that we actually. It was a million years ago. Yes, and you're not really owning it, come on. Come on, Clea. I'm leasing it, I'm leasing it.

Yeah. But what I think, what I wanna propose to you guys because obviously like. It's the least you could do. Our chemistry is like, is you hear what I say to her? Hang on one second. I do want to hear about the chemistry thing. It's the least you could do the least you could do. She say I'm leasing it here and I will say if the chemistry

were like really there, like we would have gotten like, you know, we want that to, well, always from fans and stuff when they miss someone honestly, like, you know, we want that to just hit the first. I think the idea was the issue, honestly, like, and I don't want to say who was steering it, Sean Manley, but I think we, I think what we need to do is put Love and Santa to bed and I'm coming to you with a new idea. Who's Sean Manley? That's Sean Clements.

Yeah, I'm Sean Clements. Oh yeah. Probably heard of me. I don't know Sean. Probably heard of me. I don't know Sean Manley. Coming out, stuff like that. It's brilliant, I'm making this very easy for me. Do you wanna hear the idea or not?

It's easiness with you. You know what Coldplay said about it being easy, right? Love and Santa was hard and so it shouldn't happen. Right? That's why it can't exist because it was hard. I think maybe you guys stop calling me. Everything worthwhile is easy. I think that's what made it shouldn't happen. That's why it can't exist because it was hard. Everything worthwhile is easy. That's not what I'm used to. And now this is easy.

This podcast is the hardest thing I've ever done. This segment specifically. And yet I know that that is what makes it worth doing. You have a tough conversation like this? With a friend, with someone I respect, sitting next to me, seeing me go through it? That's tough! That's brutal!

That is tough. Do you wanna hear the idea or no? And how much time did Kevin say this segment was gonna be? Yeah. Um, 90 minutes. Okay. Wow. It was supposed to be seconds, Clea.

Sorry. Okay. Give me the title. Okay. Law and Santa. And it's not a movie. It's a TV show, a procedural TV show. I agree. I agree that it's not a movie. It's a TV show a procedural TV show It's not a movie where the so the naughty list has been corrupted

so Santa needs to go out and Investigate all the kids on the not every episodes It's a new kid on the naughty list and he needs to get to the bottom of like what kids what offenses are especially? to get to the bottom of what offenses are especially heinous and which kids were actually wrongfully put on the naughty list. Are the kids at Carson's house? I feel like that was a... I mean, the whole idea,

that pitch clear that it was Carson's house because the whole idea was that we were not going to Carson's house this year. Yeah, but it's feeling like you think it's... And now you're saying we have to go to the naughty, to the Carson's house to get the naughty list? Naughty kids, if the list is there. That's just in the pilot. That's just the pilot. We have to go to the naughty, to Carson's house to get the naughty list? Naughty kids, if the list is there. That's just in the pilot.

That's just the pilot. We need to go to Carson's. We need to get the, that's just the pilot though. And then Carson is gone. We don't go back to that. Once we have the list, we have no reason to go back to the house. So I just want to say,

I think that it's similar thing that happened with Love and Santa is happening with Law and Santa already, which is, you're right. It's not a movie. I also don't think it's a similar thing that happened with Love and Santa is happening with Law and Santa already, which is, you're right, it's not a movie. I also don't think it's a TV show. I think it might be a McSweeney's article, and this happens with a lot of stuff that you come to us with. But the McSweeney's article is only really going

to be viable in a world where Love and Santa is something that we can be playing off of. in a world where love and Santa is like, is something that we can be playing off of. You know what I mean? So should we go back to it? I think in order to make Law and Santa, the McSweeney's article really hit, I think love and Santa will have to be something

for it to be like trading off of, you know what I mean? Because people will be reading the law on Santa McSweeney's article and then being like, well, what's that a joke on? Do we have to make a movie? That makes sense. Okay. Like many movies have been like just kind of like made

in order to allow the McSweeney's article to exist. Yeah. I mean, I'm definitely intrigued by the idea of bringing back Love and Santa. Okay. I'm kinda losing it. Great, yeah, I'm drying up a little bit. Yeah, it's not, I'm not feeling it.

Let's circle back, Cleo. This was thank you so much for being here. And I did not say that. That was not me. But this is why are you trying to get me? Are you trying to me like that? But me, like what is happening here? It was really not bump, not bump.

I'm lumping you off of the Zoom. Wow. I think that could have been better. Okay. Well, should I just come to? Okay, our next, are joining right now. Hello. Hollywood handbook.

Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. While online tools and resources can be a useful starting point or supplement, human relationships are an irreplaceable part of mental healthcare. And I'm finding this as well. So I got in my own head last time we talked about Alma. I made very clear the distinction between Alma

and AI Ma, the artificial intelligence version of the Octavia Spencer character Ma from the movie. And then I guess, cause I was like, I had that in my head. I got it sort of turned around and I did sign up for 200 sessions with AI Ma. Oh no, Hayes, that's so many sessions. And for the first, and they were really packed in to like three or four days.

And for the first 70, 80 sessions, I was like, this is pretty good because she lets me drink over there. Yeah, no, she actually made me like a Clamato, which I had never had. All her drinks are kind of spicy and interesting. I know, I know. It's really actually fun.

And if I go outside, I can smoke cigarettes as well, which I've been thinking about starting again But I'm thinking that I actually need to talk to a real person. I Think that would be said over the best for you a rolling Monitor a lot of little Drake dispenser a lot of the advice that you come back With from ma like that you come back with from Ma, like that you've shared with me, seems, it's not based in any kind of reality that I'm aware of, you know, like some of the facts that you've been giving me

and then how you're gonna apply them to your life where you'll be like, well, you know, an octopus's arm grows back every time they eat it. And so, and I'll just be like, wait, stop. I don't think either side of that is true. And so like, I don't think that's gonna apply to like, why you need to break up with your wife

because then she'll come back. And I don't think that is like eating your own arm. It's always something about breaking up with my wife. And I'm just listening to this and it makes sense because I'm gone off the commando. And it feels like Ma maybe wants you to just be single because then like you'll be more isolated with her AI personality.

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21 plus agent eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario, new customers only. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co. Hollywood ham. Maybe, Kevin, if we can work on it next time, you have to bump someone.

I don't think I'm lumping you with. That's not feeling right. At all useful. Who is it? Oh, it's Tawny. Hey guys. Why were the lights off in there at the beginning and then the lights.

It was up bright, it was very. And then the lights just went on. Scary. Scary. Yeah. Are you referring to turning my camera on? Do you call that lights off and lights on? Your camera was off? You can't see the image that we saw,

but it was really scary. It was like a silhouette. It was a silhouette. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like Slenderman X paranormal activity. Mm-hmm. I don't know that Zoom does that.

I don't think they provide a Slenderman filter. It was like frigging PolterGhost. That I've heard they do. You're right, I didn't see it, so I don't mean to question you, but I just, I didn't do anything special. I just arrived. Tony, you have arrived.

You'll fit right in in this episode. Your living space is like special, I just arrived. Tony, you have arrived. You're living- You'll fit right in in this episode. Your living space is like, you truly have arrived. You don't even have to tell me that. I feel like I've arrived. I've stepped into my own. There's like a balcony in your living room? That's crazy.

You're- To look out over the city or at least the inside part of it. Your living room is so big, you need a balcony to just look out on it and behold it. Yeah, and there's a really unsafe railing. Sorry, babies and children. And it looks like, Andrew! No.

Andrew's here as well. And this is how we sneak Andrew in. Was he also in a poltergeist? No, he came in totally normal. Weird, weird guys. Congrats. Thank you so much. Just so I know what you're congratulating about.

So what did Kevin tell you? This episode was celebrating to get you to do it? An incredible run. He he said that, yeah, that this is this is it. This is the last episode. This is it. Yeah. OK. Yeah. OK. I feel in that way. Yes.

And you guys would both definitely be there. Sort of congrats to us. Last episode extravagant. Oh, the memories. Yes, absolutely. And you are, because that's what this is. And that's how Kevin got you to do it. Yes, you show up for the last one.

And we'll be there for years. It would be the first time we were ever invited to do your show. Yep, that would be such an honor to be a part of the big farewell episode. And I don't, I'm not hoping for that. Well, maybe I am. Maybe it'll mean that the two of you have just, you know, achieved all you can in that space and you're moving on to.

I don't see it happening. Big living room balconies. Yeah. I don't see achieving. I don't see if it's much. Oh, no, but you guys have really done it. You've achieved all you can with this show. It's coming to a beautiful close, you know,

leave them wanting more. And I'm really proud of you and- Speaking of beautiful clothes, Andrew, is that a Nike t-shirt? I'm telling you. It is, I was not-shirt? I'm telling you. But it is. I was not, I'll be honest, I didn't realize I was going to be on video.

Tawny with the balcony in her living room. Andrew with the labels. With a t-shirt from the most successful clothing company in the world. Wow. Yeah. That's what his t-shirt is for now. This is crazy. And to think that we were just all there

at Earwulf together. I was like, wow. We started at Earwulf at the same time. End of an era. We went to it together and now it's over. And here we are, yeah. Now end of an era. How are you guys feeling about saying goodbye,

wrapping it all up? It's just, I feel like it's taking a long time. We did think it was gonna be more of a cleaner, much faster way out. Yeah. Dismount. Yeah. Just felt that goodbye would kinda be, I mean, you know, try to slow down in and out on those things. But yeah, Andrew's gone. His Wi-Fi has been acting up

all day, but he's trying to log off. Can you guys hear me? I don't I don't I don't fucking know. I'm like hardwired in. The fuck is happening? You know, maybe Andrew, maybe your Wi-Fi. You should try easy wiring it. Maybe your Wi-Fi has already said goodbye to the incredible show Hollywood Handbook. The Wi-Fi knows sometimes, doesn't it? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I find with a lot of- It's interesting. The Wi-Fi knows before we do. But with a lot of our Zoom calls, the Wi-Fi. Yeah, these naturally occurring elements. These computers are really smart. It's like how the animals know when an earthquake is coming. It's like sometimes your Wi-Fi can kind of feel

that it's just time. Yeah, I feel like the Wi-Fi is a better editor than humans are a lot of times. Let the machines do our jobs, that's what I always say. Talk about your one- scale figurine, Connie. Do you have one? Why do you know about this? Do you have one on the premises?

Because I am actually, I have been brought in to a group of people at multiple levels of government that are using the one-sixth scale figurine as kind of a, or trying to smoke out certain types of people. People who are buying those things where like they end up on a list. Oh, so if you buy one of these.

It's a honey pot. If you purchase that, it's revealing something about your psychology that we just want to be aware of. Got it. Okay. So it's really more for an I told you so thing later on.

So if I had one of myself, does that get me on a lot more lists? If it's, it's a different list, but it's a list all the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Andrew, talk about the device that you're spinning. Oh, this is my watch tool. Where's the camera?

That was a fucking thing. No, and I am watching it. Yeah, this is for poking the bracelet out of a watch. And I was just, I'll be honest, because I had to switch to my phone to do the zoom. And usually this is just off camera. So I just got used to this. And it had that feeling, yeah.

A t-shirt from the most successful company and a special tool just to- Just to poke his watch. Just to poke it. Just to poke it. Touch a watch. Are you guys looking forward to twirling special tools around in your retirement?

Yeah, that's what I always dreamed of. That was certainly, you know, the conversations we had was like someday if we do everything right, I might be able to take a watch tool like that and kind of spin it, spin it between my fingers. Can you do something like that? My special tool, the special tool is in forever when mine is a shovel and I will be twirling it in such a way as to make a whole. So it has to dig a six foot hole.

You could get into, I feel like you could get into, like you could be a hatchet trick guy on TikTok like if you're like spinning around or not hatchet side like a like spades type thing maybe a just twirling farm tools the tool I will be twirling will be the Six-chambered cylinder Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's getting dark. That's one of the better ones. Yeah, but a single shell.

So you're not taking. Oh yeah. So you're not. So, Kase and I will both be spinning tools for sure when we're done with this show. Andrew, your pitch of a hatchet, I don't think like. That's a hatchet. That's taking too much for me.

Hatchet is I guess guess, guaranteed injury. Russian roulette's only a sixth of the time. Those are great odds. That's true. One sixth. Yes. That's true. You know as well as I do, Andrew, once you get to spinning these tools, it's tough to stop. It's I really, I just, every time I'm just doing this.

I'm just going to go now. Yeah, exactly. You just end up like spinning. It's really good spinning. So you're aware of my one sixth figurine. But are you are you aware of my Funko pop, which is much cuter? I'm not aware of the of the Funko pop. So you're just trying to you only know about the things that humiliate me.

You know, I think the best tawny merch was the Mariner coin. Her little like the little like coin thing. Oh, yeah. Was there a coin? Does that not exist? I'm leveraged to the fucking hill. Yeah. Mariner coin. Just to be clear, there's no crypto.

There's no. No, no. It was like it was like a little physical. I hope that's not true, Tawny. That would be really, really bad news for my portfolio. There is no Star Trek crypto. You were scammed. Star Trek would never have a crypto. We wouldn't do it. It's start. No. Yeah. She says we we start. I

was talking like physical, physical coin. It's somewhere in my house. The collectible coin. I don't know what that is. It's somewhere in my house. A collectible coin. I owe one. It's somewhere. Why? I just I really it's a challenge coin, right? Like like Sean said, I just really I thought it was going to go way up.

I challenge you to get a date. I have to say the the the Wi-Fi has improved. Somehow the clarity of your voice. It is like this. Like you're the Wi-Fi got better on the phone, but it does sound like you're speaking through is the microphone plugged into a laptop that you're not using the Wi-Fi for anymore in another room. It's on my ear.

Oh, that's better. Does that help? That's great, Andrew. Unfortunately, we have to go. Thank you so much. So good to get just. We had a blast with you guys. The troubleshooting figured out before you left. This is a good time.

Thank you for bringing up something I'm uncomfortable about and something Andrew's uncomfortable about. I don't feel great, yeah. We both feel bad. Congratulations on an incredible life. Yay, thank you so much. Yes. Thanks guys.

Goodbye. Bye. Hey, that Thanks guys. Goodbye. Bye. Hey, that was great. Okay. You gotta speed up the dumping. Next one. And you didn't come up with something instead of lumping. You just did nothing at all.

Was that a fireplace? That's a panacea. Wow. Uh oh. Oh my. Oh my. Wow! Uh oh. Oh my.

Mmm! My reception's burning good! It surely is good to see y'all two grizzled little faces here around the Cowboy TV. This is what we call a fire. You know what I love about Cowboy

TV? You don't need a cable. You don't need an antenna. Nope. All you need is a twig or two. Maybe a log. Maybe a pine cone. I find a big pile of twigs. I go, dang, they gotta bundle all these streamers.

And that's exactly what I do. I bundle them up and I toss them out there for kiddling. And watch the exciting season finales, Crackle and Pop, into the sky. Oh, it was an exciting one. Who killed Crackle? Was it that leaf? Who was the murderer that went ahead and stripped the bark off of that beautiful twig of mine and why did it taste so good when it roasted my beautiful bean can? It's really disrespectful.

And I'm not even talking about to myself, like all the other guests we had on who, I guess it was just a setup for this. I mean, did they know that they were just here as like some kind of game? Nope. No, they didn't know. So that's very disrespectful to them. Everyone who's listening, who's expecting a great show, expecting try month, incredibly disrespectful to the thousands of people that tune into this. Brett didn't even play his, he brought his guitar and played it for like five seconds. And then- Oh!

How about that? Yeah. Hell. I think that was the beans, Brett. Like Brett just feels like it's enough that he's- Beans are ready. To be here and talk. Well, that's a beanie bumper sound

and we must be back from commercial when I hear a sound like that. That's kinda fun. Woo! Cowboy TV, the only TV you can pull your dinner out from. Like these. Tamales! That's what I call a TV dinner.

I don't care for myself. I'm fine. I made my, I fixed myself a hungry man. That's my TV dinner. Oh boy. And it came out of the TV. It got cooked by the TV. TV's a fire.

Cowboy TV. Kinda makes you scratch your head a little bit if you think about it too much. Well, Auntie Donna, and Rhea especially, we hadn't had her in so long to have them just come on to be a part of this, is like, I pray they never find out what that was about. And he's relatively disrespectful.

What are you doing? I have no fucking idea. Hey, what are you doing? I have no fucking idea. Hey, it's try month. What's the equivalent of try month? Sweeps week. The sweeps week in TV is the same as try month for Hollywood Handbook. And what do you do at sweeps week on TV?

This puts me to sweeps. Well, you know what? This idea at this point. This idea at this point, like I'm about to you know puts me to sleep Is this attitude is it's just great. It's I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's contempt prior to investigation. I Like I thank you, I Spencer that will keep you an everlasting ignorance I really feel like I gave this Plenty of investigators. This is like the

20th time we've done this on the show. So what were your ideas for it again? I know you had something you thought would help it and we're open for cowboy TV Yeah in the pre-interview of the show you were like I can't wait to hear the project Yeah, my idea is not doing it on an episode where the idea is that we have fun guests and like, look, yes, I'll be on. Obviously no one we're getting on this episode is like a standalone.

We couldn't do a single episode with them. Special guest, you know what I mean? Four or five minutes, yeah. You didn't have Chris Klein on? Chris Klein would have been a, like, I mean, that would have been, and to even like Chris Klein on Chris Klein would have been a minute like I Mean like that would have been and to even be talking about having Chris Klein on the show as This is happening. I feel like is just underscoring What this has become it puts a bit

Ever you want. Well, you know what? It is mighty familiar. Some of those flames kicking up are reminding me of a very familiar face. And that really, what would have been really cool, like I actually would have been fine if Chris Klein appeared in the screen and was doing cowboy TV. Something like that. Well, there's a log that looks just like Chris Klein. It is do a cowboy TV TV right now seems like we don't have it the knots in the wood Curves of the the grain are actually forming a perfect Chris Klein Chris Klein

American reunion would yeah you look at this too long if you just start seeing the whole cast amount of silence and Where someone is holding they're all good guitar American wedding even for even for election You keep complaining. I don't know what what part you know we're just still waiting to get started really Where was the one with Chris Klein and Heather Graham? where for a Made love it was an incest comedy. I believe mmm like for me to you or something They don't make a lot of incest comedies no more, do they? Well, you know, every hundred cycles.

I mean, sorry. I didn't even watch the show, but like, it literally is like the center of conversation in TV right now. A comedy about incest. They just did it on the White Lotus. I didn't watch it, so just... Oh, well, maybe something like that will be on Cowboy TV. Oh, white ray. Turn that will be on cowboy TV. Oh

Turn that up on how my TV we got white ocus on cowboy TV. Wow Watch out. Yes, we got every season. We put the new wood in the new spot It's so this season it's over in this corner Boy, this is my favorite season. Yeah, this corner here is really nice. So like White Lotus goes to different countries each season you put what in the new spot? The white oak, the white oak goes in a new spot. A new spot. In the flames, eh? A new spot in the flames.

That's right. And what I'm picking up here, Kevin, we have no more guests. One more. Oh, we do have one. Oh, boy. Okay, this is the second to last thing. Well, we barely just started the Cowboy TV segment, Hayes. You got to, it's fair. We barely just started the cowboy TV segment. Hey, you got to admit it's been brief. Okay. I feel like it's gone longer than anyone else. We've

we've had for real. Honestly. I mean, maybe that's just what it's Kevin. Okay. Yep. Are they here? I mean, we're 42 minutes in. Oh interesting. Someone has a zoom link that doesn't... Uh, yes they are. Jennifer Coolidge is in this white ocus. She was in American Pie too! Well ain't that right.

Chris Clyde and Jennifer Coolidge reunited. Not sure they shared a seed in American Pie, of course. Stiffler's mom, but she certainly was there with Finch. It's completely different from any other, I mean, like, it's not better or worse, but it's different than any other cowboy TV that you guys have done. Brett has completely forgotten what his role in it is.

Sounds about like- Well, maybe if you had me on more than like bed music, a half a time a year, maybe I'd remember. I don't want you. Wow. I don't want you to hear comes out. I'm so sorry. I, the truth comes out.

I didn't mean to take so long. We found out where's the black hat in this certain cowboy TV episode, there's a real villain, old, uh, uh, mean old nasty old, uh, haze haze bars. Try month means haze is trying to get his friends away from him. Black haze. Well, no, I said the black hat already. Okay.

Got it. And so I just thought, let's see what else you do with our Hayes Bart Barca sounds like bar will be called black haze. I have no issue with that Actually think it's a neat idea black haze I Like the ring of that it's a great nickname I like the ring of that. It's a great nickname. It's like the smoke. I mean, it's all supposed to go back to the fire. It's like the smoke that comes out of the fire.

And that's like your version of white lotus. Instead of white lotus you have black smoke. We have white oakes. Yeah, and it's... Wow, that's a lot. There's a black haze! Look, haze, you're playing along. Isn't this more fun than what you've been doing? You have one of the best ideas for cowboy TV yet. It's so easy.

There's nothing. Our EP, Haze Black Haze. Executive produced by Black Haze. black hater and and showrunner We're 45 like Is someone else waiting? We're not gonna have any time for them Hello Boy talk about making me squirm. Are you on your boyfriend's Zoom account? No, I'm in my friend's Zoom account.

Oh my God, even more pathetic. Not willing to call him a boyfriend yet. You're gonna be mean and abusive to me right now in front of- But, and that's because- It's interesting, it's Keno. Oh, and it he know? What? Carl, geez.

What is this, what is happening here that I wasn't involved in? I mean, and this is a Kevin thing. Carl, Kevin said this whole thing up, like obviously you're a huge part of the show, I would have invited you, especially, I mean, you know. Really special guy to me. Am I not handbooky enough for the Handbook Club?

Yeah, is Karl not not Hollywood enough for the Bookhand Club? Tell me I think he had it. I don't think he needed any help, Sarah. Kind of nailed the look out, but I'm already already. I showed up to the zoom. Did you hear any like reaction response? Oh Sarah What what what just happened to me? That's like hurt people hurting people because they do you know what cowboy TV is?

No, and now I'm even more hurt because didn't I thought that's I Was a fan of the our most famous fan of the show Yeah, I know what cowboy TV is what you've done like, as I was saying, about 20 episodes of. That would be the one thing that would kind of save Cowboy TV for me. Sarah's like, yes, I love it. We sold merch on it.

Mm-hmm, yeah. I'm like really busy, like, six or seven years running. You're really, really different. Yeah, you've totally changed. Which might be a good thing. You have to be in the freaking Philippio sketch or whatever is like the thing. But it's how many weeks do we have to wait before we can do Philippio again?

Again, be able to see my name. Can we do Philippio? What's my character's name and Domingo and what style of dress am I wearing? What color is my wig? Can we do Philippio? What's my character's name in Domingo? And what style of dress am I wearing? What color is my wig? You're wearing a big turkey costume. Your wig is a rainbow wig. And your character's name is Doctor Who Gives a Fuck.

That's right. A doctor, right? You don't see women. That's right. That's right. Carl, tell them I'm nice to everyone at work and I'm actually normal. I haven't changed. Uh, she is very nice to everybody at work. She's normal.

She has not changed. That's what you were most known for was being normal. And just off screen, you can't see her left hand has a gun trained on Carl's midsection In my last day to read zero, uh, oh The blue one as well, which actually has 10 calories, so it's not zero as far as everything Mm-hmm. You're taking a page out of DP 10s book so why do you guys sound like you just? Why do you guys sound like the two most depressed people in Hollywood?

Well, our biggest fan doesn't know what cowboy TV is yes There's that one. This is this is like so Sarah. Thank you for if you actually want to know which I know you don't give a fuck And your doctor like you feel like you've got like bigger shit going on and like you you know Just want to like move on to the next rung of the Hollywood ladder on my head You're pretending to care. I'll answer for you. This is supposed to be trimoth. Do you know what trimoth is? Do it to me again hit me No, do it again literally one twelfth of our entire production year You don't know what do you know Gatorade zero idea what we're talking. What's the thing you know about the show? I?

Have a hat pack hat yeah, I'm probably free of charge five finger discount on that one. It's a month where we get like good guests, like pretty famous people, right? Yeah. And theoretically. And earlier this month we had, well in past guests for Tri-Month have been like Tony Hawk, right? Who else, Kevin? Uh, well in past guests for try a month have been like Tony Hawk. Right. Right. Who else Kevin? John Ham, Will Forte, John Ham, weird Al.

Yes. Weird Al who just sent me a birthday email yesterday. Oh, happy birthday. More than I got from anyone on this show. That's not true. I say happy birthday to you. Yeah. And a text.

You, you, would you prefer an email? An email, yes. Weird Alston. I have it in my calendar and my wife went, Sean, it's Hayes' birthday and I went, yeah, I know. And when's my birthday, by the way? It was recently and how old does it look like I turned? All my, are you having all my little Pisces babies?

Doesn't it look like I turned 27? You're ageless. I just said, I'm back here. You're generally unidentifiable. I'm going on my ZNs. The only DM I've ever responded to was Andy Milonakis. What song are we doing for Felipe this week? The LeAngelo Ball song, like what's like, it's, it's tougher.

Like songs aren't really surfacing up faster. Yeah. You know, like we don't have a song that's Felipe worthy. You might have to reach back. I might swear. And Felipe. See exactly who's that? Yeah.

The monoculture is going away. Yeah, we're losing steam. And you don't think about what you lose when the music industry got sort of divided and conquered the way it did. You didn't realize, oh, we're not just losing music, we're losing Philippio sketches. Well, I think they should do a Philippio throwback,

like a typo negative. Throwback, manly. Yeah. Do like a typo negative. Manly. Yeah. Yeah. Do like walking in the moonlight or something. Oh yeah, go ahead. Dance it in the moonlight. I don't know.

Maybe they make it walk in. Maybe Philippio. Walk the moon. Shut up and dance with me. Shut up and dance with me. Yeah. Shut up and Philippio. Yeah.

And it's about silencing Filippio. This beef stud is my destiny. Yes. Ooh, Filippio's railing me. Right? Something like that. It's a funny idea. Yeah. It's really good.

I kinda like it. And the guy, like. Run tell Lorne. The guy's like, did you just say Filippio's railing you? And she's just no no no no We were on a train That's good. That's better than a lot of stuff. That's in there actually The stuff is pretty lazy

You think you could say railing on TV if it's if it revealed that it's about a train Yeah, or a balcony Call back to a guest we didn't know about If it revealed that it's about a train. Yeah. Or a balcony. Right. Call back to a guest we didn't know about. Well, you're obviously here for a reason, Sarah. Oh, what did you want to talk about? I got a half back hat, not wearing it. I can't confront you guys about not having wished happy birthday to me.

Mm hmm. When is your birthday? March 7th, thanks so much for checking in So many March babies and are you are on the What I consider to be the right side of 30, right? Mm-hmm What do you how old do you think I am? I think you're ageless No, you have a timeless quality. I consider that to be the right side How old do you think I am? I think you're ageless. No. You have a timeless quality. I consider that to be the right side.

What some would say is the wrong side, especially for your career. Carl's in the room with me. I think is the right side. Yeah. Carl's in the room with me. Carl, what do I look like? 27. Thank you.

Check that, check those pores out. Come on. On my super full as yo. Full on pimples like a teenager. Those pours out come on Like a teenager, mm-hmm. Hey, that's what you need to like look really young now is big pimples Right big pimples G Philippe Eos. Yeah, that's right.

That's what it'll be. Who's the musical guest? We got it. We got it. Who's the musical guest? Who's the musical guest? Morgan Wallen, my man. Oh, oh, yeah. Last night we let the liquor talk. The last time I forget where I was,

was I in Nashville and I was walking down a street and someone was like, Morgan Wallen threw a chair off of that roof. He didn't make the show last week, last time he was here because he went to a- Because he threw the chair? No, because he went to a college party and it was during COVID.

Well, I look like I should be at a college party. Is that how young I look? Felipe O says, whoa. You guys are doing it. Congratulations on SNL. Thanks. It's doing really good. Thanks.

You guys are doing great. I still remember. Seriously. And I think with both of you guys being here, I think we can say we had SNL as a guess, basically. Yeah, SNL was on the same show. So when people are like, who'd you have for Tryman Blaster or we had SNL?

We'll go, you know SNL 50? That big event? Mm-hmm. That was part of our show. That was part of our show. Yeah. You've basically had one. Sarah looks like she's fucking 50. Ha ha.

Ha ha. As in, oh, 50, I thought they were talking about you. Yes, no one wants to say it, but as you are becoming more and more obsessed with making yourself look younger. Right. It's having. Yeah, it's having an inverse effect.

Double, the worst effect, double. Yeah. Right. It's having, Yeah, it's having an inverse effect. the worst effect double. Yeah. Right. And you guys can't see, but I have, I do have colostomy bags hanging off of me. And we're in my office right now, which is gross. Mm-hmm. Carl, are you writing any sketches that I'm in this week?

Of course, every week. Yeah, let's hear it. Should we all pitch on a sketch to kind of round this whole thing out? You just can't wait to get off it. What are the ideas? Who's the guest? Who's the host?

Mikey Madison. Oh, Nora. You gotta do the group chat. The group chat guys from today, that thing that happened today, when they're on the group chat, but it's like other crazy people in the group chat who are like, hey, I don't think I'm supposed to be in this, but it's like other famous people.

Like who's your big impression now, Sarah? I know that's not really. Oh, Sarah, you dress like a text bubble. And then you're like the person rating the group chat. Yeah. It's people dressed as text bubbles and they are part of the group chat. And they go like before they start talking. And I can do my bigger version than I'm trying to get off the ground. Yeah. Yes. Tell me the, yeah, what are we like, what are the latest?

What are, what are the things that you pitch every week? Like which? Me playing Trump. Me playing Trump. You playing Donald Trump. Mm-hmm. Carl can attest it's good. It's good.

It's very good. This group, Chad, is fired. Something like Gatorade again. Hmm. Don't you have a show to do? Don't you guys have a show? Like isn't the whole thing? I should say it's Saturday night at 11 45 as I know the whole thing that like You have to do the show so fast and stuff like this is a bad look. I'm sorry I appreciate you being here, but this is nice. This is anything be this available insanely bad look. Mm-hmm

Okay, fine, I'll leave but, just because I'm putting the gun down doesn't mean it's over. Oh boy. These guys. I'm gonna cut me mentioning it so that you bring that up, it's just a total non sequitur. Well then, in that case, Tri-Month is fired. Do you wanna promote Jack Bensinger?

Like, he's on the show now, and he's like a funny, he's a funny guy. Everyone go see Rap World featuring Jack Bensinger. Thank you for letting me use your Zoom account. I don't know if you know that I've been using it this whole time. Carl, anything you wanna plug?

Check out Jack Bensinger. We showcased together for this show. So he's a funny dude. Yeah. He went right before me. Hey, Sarah, I have a question. Do you know who this is? That's great.

Yeah, we bet. Yeah. That Brett, what do you know him from is? That's great. Yeah, we bet. Yeah. That Brett, what do you know him from? How do you do? I know him from- Is there like another name for him? Oh. Comedy Bang Bang.

Of course. Not the answer I was looking for. Probably also known from Cowboy TV. From Cowboy TV. From Cowboy TV, yeah. I was just about to say, until it was rudely interrupted. Okay, that's great. Well, you're such a fan of it, you can participate in it, right? Yeah, why don't you go ahead and kick us off. Hat pack, hat pack, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do in the hat pack screw?

Oh, this is a good episode. I love me some cowboy TV. I can't stop watching. Boy, that's all about fires. Which I also call a fire a cowboy TV. You ever stare at a fire and it just reminds you of TV? Bye. Bye-bye. Whoa.

Hollywood handbook. That was a Head Gum podcast. Hey, I'm Wayne Brady. And I'm Jonathan Mangum. And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance to play and make stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway or Let's Make a Deal. And we're now hosting a new improvised show called

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