Hollywood Handbook - Unpaid Interns, Our Close Friends

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

The boys are joined by GARRETT MCKENNA, MIKE LENCZEWSKI, and KEVIN SANJI of Unpaid Interns in an attempt to figure out which guy they are.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. Now get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg, plus hash browns, and a small coffee for just $5. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. What I got to know is... Tell me, what happens right after the cameras turn off? Are you as curious as I am?

You know? I see obviously what is happening in front of the camera. And it's great. But I can't be alone and going, what happens right after? As soon as like, you got it. Bang, it's in the can. It's in the can. And you know you got a live one with this one.

This video, like, you know, like, this one is going to be huge. you can feel it look we've had a couple viral clips you guys were talking about our clips probably some of the ones you've seen yeah and you just know and you can just feel it Paul Fieg that was just the most recent one yeah that's the most recent one and it hasn't it's funny to be in this stage we are now where it's pre-viral where it hasn't really done as well as even some of our other underperforming clips yet yes it has to do its time

heal it but yeah and when we catch that wave so what in that sort of refractory period right you know in between kind of busting out a good sketch and getting and getting kind of juiced up to do the next one what are we doing and when i say the cameras turn off like like he's still asking yeah are you using your phone what are we filming on yeah yeah yeah okay so you just got a 17 i just got an i phone 17 so that was oh shit great camera it's working I'm always nervous to try the new one I'd say jump in I like to let settings that's kind of tough to let the Kevin's the Warriors go first go in so and I like to pave the way personally with technology that's cool first one you know not with other oh big not just just

just with tech okay yeah but I think you know Garrett has the oldest phone and he's doing the best. Do I have the oldest phone? I guess I do have the oldest phone, yeah. What do you got? There might be a lesson there. What model? There is a correlation. Here's the thing with that. When you have the oldest phone, you also kind of have to be the scrappiest. You got to be a hundred and take the biggest swing. The phone's doing so much for you. Somebody like you, you get to rest on your laurels a little because the phone's doing a lot of work. That's a great point. You can point of me too because I have an iPhone 16 so you can. Oh, you're still on. So when I say when the camera turns off,

I basically mean when it like goes in your pocket or whatever when you're doing something else with the camera Yeah, you know, because it's not like going off well, that's interesting when the camera goes off which is how you originally phrased it Are you also then using the phone still to just look at something else? As much as I can. Yeah, but like and what like what happened like and what happens? What happens in that moment? Because we have our stuff like once the podcast is over we have our stuff that we just have to like just go dump that adrenaline you know of course yeah um

I go to the pound do you feel crazy griping about how we're not doing better I think you wish you were doing better you got to talk about how you wish you were doing better yeah absolutely about two hours every well you've already said that Garrett's doing the best so you obviously are in a healthy space

where you're comparing yourself to your comic partners how are we and how is that separation because I look at your one couch you know right you see a unit i see yeah i see a unit but i see a unit but i'll say so we've had some other internet sketch groups before we i guess i'll say we have the unpaid interns here we got garret we got mike we got kevin uh we've had them before uh i would say four or five years ago we had the try guys and then maybe two years ago we had please don't destroy um oh and so

how do you think you ultimately will kind of splinter will one of you be embroiled in a scandal will you be forcibly separated by lord michael's like what is the plan in terms of like the end game for you there's already three of you so from the try guys perspective maybe that guy is already like the fourth guy who's not in it oh so there were four and then there was a scandal right yes there was a scandal yes oh my god make me feel old refresh us on that i think we're

You don't know. You guys are too young. Yeah. So the try guys were these guys. Garrett, I, sorry. No, no, no. You'll get your chance. And I believe me. I know it feels like we've been talking in the whole episode.

You're going to get your space. Because we just shut down. We're about four minutes in. Around 15 minutes, we just shut down and stuff. And I feel totally comfortable, like, jumping in on you. Sure. Because of, like, I know because of the phone dynamic, this is actually what, like, works.

best for you and because you are doing the best. I agree with Mike. Yeah. You are doing it. You're killing it. Thank you. Thank you. You're killing it. We're very well. I got a really high hopes for Mike and Kevin as well. It's and it's the unpaid interns are joining us today. So the try guys were these guys who they would when they would do a video they would eat like they'd be like hey guy we're the try guys we'll do anything. Today we're going to eat purple spaghetti.

Kind of crazy. And so they would like actually kind of cooops and they would make it at least look like they were eating this spaghetti that they'd use like food color on and make it purple. Either the sauce or like the spaghetti itself was like it's purple. It's kind of like jackass you want to write that down to do that exactly.

Yeah, something like that. Well they I'm saying they did that. I'm saying the try guys already did that. No, they don't remember and we'll be doing that. This is what I'm learning because there's a whole other generation of everything old is new again. Right. We know it worked for them for a time. Right. Sure. And

And so I don't see any reason that it couldn't work again. You're absolutely right. Reboots are. And then one of them was caught. Eating. Let's get into the scandal. Grinding. Faking.

Well, see, this is the thing, this is the thing, here. Because, like, if you would, when it comes to your own wife, basically tell her you're eating purple spaghetti when you aren't. It's green, maybe. or maybe not even well this is the thing isn't it Garrett you spend enough time

you know that purple spaghetti the greens spaghetti's always greener the other stuff yeah twinkles yeah sometimes right

yeah I'm lost to talk to you a little bit I'm lost and he doesn't he can't even access that I don't know those ideas

right we're thinking about it aren't we Garrett yeah and A's has an older phone to me and he's always do it a little better i go after a record i go to the pound i get the biggest baddest dog they sure one of these dogs is like how they how this shetland pony get in here huge dog monster monster

beast because i got to get i got to get it out you know what i mean yeah and i need something to ride with me you know i need a beast to ride with me you know i need a beast to ride with me after every show. Throws the dog on the front of his Harley Davidson, wraps his arms around from the side. That's the dog drive. And we just go up PCH all the way.

Wow. Up the entire West Coast. This is after every episode. Every good episode. What happens to the dog afterwards? I'm showing him the route so because I'm like I'm going to ride you back. I'm giving you back. Rented motorcycle.

They let me leave it. Up in the very corner of Washington. And then you mount him back. Mount him back. What a thrill. Wow. Fucking amazing. Holy shit.

They haven't made the dog yet. They haven't made the dog that is good at that yet. You're testing them out. But this is how you genetically, like, assist the process. Start out being dogs that could, you know, follow a snake into a hole or whatever. Right. They have now. them now.

And so how did they do that? They shoved them in the hole. They fucking squished them down in there until they fit. You know what I mean? Yeah. We don't like to think about this, but that's how we've got some of our longest, thinnest dogs. Wow.

Weeners. Because the snakes were escaping. You said it, Mike. I mean, you know, I didn't want to get too explicit, but we're talking about the weaners. Sorry. Talking about weaners. No, it's fine. It's great.

It's long and thin like a weiner. Again, this is your brand. Weiner, we're dogs. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean to... No, this is your thing.

Like, you guys go there. And again, we're a little bit older. We probably, you know... When I grew up, you said weiner on the radio. I'm going to talk about radio. You said weiner on the radio. You have to pay some expensive fine or something. But you gentlemen are going like, hey, man, we just go there.

We just do it. We don't care. We'll say weiner. What's the nastiest shit you've ever done on camera? We do some Italian guys that are pretty... Oh, we did Italian guys. It's sounding like the spaghetti thing again. Yeah.

It all comes back to that, I think. Yeah, I guess the try guys were just trying being Italian in most of those videos. And so when the camera goes off, you were saying, like, you basically sit around and cry about it. Just like. Yeah. Yeah. How you thought at this point it was going to be going better. And if you, if you, if you, a few years ago,

known you're going to be hitting engagement like this oh my god this is like i'm just a little boy like that that's that's more than enough for me like my belly's full that's what you'd be thinking but now now that you have it yeah now that we've made it starting to rumble again now that we made so you sit and cry about it yeah it's never enough it's never enough it's never enough it's never enough it's And that's sad. It sounds like it's never enough for you guys. I guess I don't know if I'd say that. You picked up on something there.

Yeah. Can I just say when the cameras stop rolling? When I put my phone in my pocket, it's almost like you were asking, do you use your phone for other things? Let me pause you. I want to make sure Hayes doesn't want to get his shit off real quick. Sometimes I can feel he's sitting on dynamite.

He's got some. He's got some. something to go and I know you've been waiting for your chance to talk we really got about four minutes left before we shut down entirely and you have the floor so if Hayes wants to get his shit off now is the time use it please I I wish you'd come in just a little earlier and the moments pass the moments pass and I he's already talked about the phone I shoved it down in my craw well let's give a time to bubble back back up so you were saying you were going back to an earlier question about when the camera goes yeah but the grass

You're saying, you know, do you use your phone for, you know, everyday stuff? What's your impression of how this booking came to be? This? Yeah. You guys wanted to be our friends and... I thought that's what I was. You guys were dying to... Yeah.

You guys nailed it. Can I give it to you from my perspective and phrased a little differently? I was told that we are your manager's favorite comedians. how do we fix this you guys are there for that comedian that's what I was told how do we fix that that didn't even get to me I mean stop stop doing well stop being

yes that's step one number one you think we're doing well you really got a problem I mean all right tell me what you do with your phone I just don't even I don't even like looking I don't like using it for regular stuff oh yes because it's like you wouldn't use a paint brush to as chopsticks do you know

you wouldn't like try to look for boobings on your paint brush you know no no no yeah so it's almost sacrilegious in my in my opinion because what we are doing with our hang on I just want to think of something you wouldn't do with a paint

brush just kind of I know I just need to think something you wouldn't do with the paint mine was an example of like a phone yeah like a phone yeah so but that's what he was that what he was maybe a calculator chopsticks or something Yeah, that's why I did a different one. Yeah. You could have said phone call maybe.

I wouldn't take a phone call on my paint brush. I wouldn't call on my paintbrush. Yeah. Get pain on your, depending on which way. On your lobe? I think you would not hold it that way. Because you don't hold your phone perpendicular to your head when you're making your phone call. That was true for every version of it that I can think of.

Yeah. I get it so close. But see, even then, you're not, the paint, the end is not touching your face. The brush. The brush up or down is the big question. I assume the brush is up, just right side up. Honestly, I probably would. Well, what if it's, okay, well, what if I would, what if the paintbrush is like Bluetooth?

Yeah, a lot of people yell on speakerphone. It's like a Bluetooth. Headset. Yeah. You could also just not. Blue paint brush. I wouldn't use my paintbrushes of. Bluetooth headset to take a phone call, yeah.

Yeah. You see what I'm saying? You go back, yeah, go back to what you. So it's like that question kind of, I mean, it, it's so, like, not even in my realm of thinking to use, basically what we're using to create, you know, just like art and masterpiece. I'm starting to wonder, Mike, what you see in him, you know? Because I see him as this guy. There was a real hero worship vibe coming.

Yeah. You to- And I was picking up on that. You are. And I was like, oh, man, I can't wait till this. That's kind of why we were saving letting him have that space. And now that I've seen what he did with it, I'm going, Mike. Yeah.

You got this, dude. You got this. I mean, I thought it was a beautiful metaphor. I don't know, maybe I put Garrett on a pedestal or something, but I thought that- Is he your old phone? Pardon me? Is Garrett your old phone, Mike? Is Garrett your old phone?

Is Garrett that thing that's like causing he's the obstacle for you? I can also jump in and answer the question of whether your likes old phone. But I'm kind of curious

am I your, what do you think? So you just want to get in there to say you can Well I was going to see what you guys do is let You're not answering it but you'd be willing to answer it But you're more interested in hearing him answer. The question is that he was asked. Mike answer.

Well, I just want to, well, I'm not quite sure what's being asked. Can I pause you both? Kevin, can you answer it? Just because we found out who can answer it? Right. Kevin, can you answer it? And what was the question? So we were asking Mike whether Garrett is Mike's old phone.

And the old phone being a different metaphor than how Garrett was using it, right? Which he was saying, you know, it's not a paintbrush. But we were saying it is also this sort of driving. force this obstacle that makes him work harder, which is why he's achieved so much. And is the new phone guy. I think that could be true. Second part, can you answer the question?

Don't, because I want to hear what Mike has saying, and so does Garrett. Yeah, and I can answer the question. And you can't. And also, you should be thinking about, what's my old phone? Or do I even have one? And is it Mike?

Yeah. Just in the order of how we're sitting. Right. I'm your 16 or something. or something. Well, I upgraded from the upgrade. It was a 15. So it would have been a from iPhone.

Yeah, he goes every two years. Garrett was my 14. Yeah. No, I think Garrett was my 14. My, yeah. Your iPhone 14. My iPhone 14. Yeah, he pushes me.

So our listeners are mostly Android users. As is, you know, 75% of the population or something. Pixel, Pixel 6. What are they on with the Google Pixel? nomination. I don't think they're going to get this whole metaphor, personally. Yeah, Garrett makes me feel bad about myself, and I work harder, I guess. Yeah, I think kind of what it comes down to. And this is like within a sketch, because I see like your clip sometimes.

There are ones where you will kind of like just kind of sit there and smolder. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's something going on. You find the lens. Yeah. Like the Italian guys, you know, stuff, for example. There's always a concept.

I'm not always able to glean what it is, but I know that when you, you know, kind of press go on the paintbrush, that you have an idea of what it's going to be. But I think something would get lost in like smoldering for the camera. And I like to put him in that situation too.

And what do you do to get in there? So you're doing that on purpose. It's very much like, you know, Shelley Deval, The Shining, Take 100 of the typewriter scene. I'm just, I know that there's, I know there's more that we can get out of. Yeah. Yeah. I know there's a deeper smolder.

Yeah. Sometimes that we can get. Oh, I didn't even see. Yeah. Sorry, you guys are a little. Just because, you know. There we go. Let me just shift over.

A little bit. Yeah. You can move over. I can move the microphone a little bit. I hate to be this. Maybe I'll go on top at the end. Jack Nicholson was the one using the typewriter. I just meant the scene of the type.

She's in the scene, though, right? I've seen it. Wasn't Stanley Kubrick involved? He was... We got a little bit of a film buff. Yes, yes. I don't want to show my cards to her. Are you the one filming it sometimes?

Yeah, oftentimes I'm filming. That's deep cuts. status. Yeah. And Mike, you look like them touching you for this long as hurting you a little bit. No, no,

no, no, we do this before, you know. Mm-hmm. You just, I should have asked what you do before. Well,

it's between shots, I guess. Between. Between. I should ask what you do between. Kind of power up. Yeah. Hello out there,

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How long does it take to make a video? And let's shift gears. How long do you take? How long do you take to make a video? We want to do one. We've been talking about it. We want to do one. You know, sometimes days.

It can take days. Months. Not unlike, sorry, if I may. Not unlike that shining shoot that I think was months long up in that hotel we've had. Yeah. Kevin, can you? I think it took months. I think it took months.

Wow. Then I believe it. Yeah. Italian. Then I believe it. Some of those Italian guys sketches. It took a long time. It takes months.

The 2021, most of that was... Yeah. Is there another guy? We're looking. We're looking for another guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What would he do?

Might have just found... Which one are each of you right now? Which guy? Yeah, which guy is each one of you? That's a great question. Just when I get home and tell my wife I met these three guys. Yeah. She's going to say which ones?

I'm the... Who's the tall try guy? Yeah. That's me. Garrett's the tallest. How tall is he? Do you guys know? He's, he looks tall.

He's tall. He's tall. He can't, he is tall. He's tall. He's tall. I know you're talking. He's tall. Yeah, he's tall.

Yeah. Bit of a string bean. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. And who's like the, maybe the bad? Who would you say like the bad boy?

Probably the one, yeah. Committed infidelity. Yeah. Probably the one who made his entire brand. Phil Randerer. Yeah. Right. Well, call me that, yeah.

Scandal. I mean, I think I'd most likely to. But here's the thing is like if you did that, we would keep the group together. Yeah, it would maybe even make us stronger. Yeah, that's true. And then we would all wouldn't have to do the handholding thing. Yeah.

Power up. We would use that, I think. Yeah, we would use your infidelity for sure. Not as like a jumping off point. You got to use everything. I don't see any rings. I'm always kind of sizing up the situation Yeah I took it off

Just seeing what kind of energy we're gonna be dealing with And honestly like This is whenever we try to make a video Come in here what are you doing outside Were you too? Play it around with those phones You know And this is your

Why didn't you answer when I called? Well I wouldn't put a paint brush in my ear You know Yes It's like they have no fucking idea what I'm talking about. Right, sure. That's my biggest advice to young video makers.

You know, because we turn the spaghetti purple. Bring me back my purple spaghetti. Was that you first? You were trying to do this purple spaghetti first? We tried, no, no, no, not first. No, God, no. No, we saw it. We were like, God, that's so good.

So we were like, we got to try it. This weekend we were doing it. But I don't think somehow, I mean, at least one of them had a wife and didn't. It was she let them do, she let them use the calling. So you're saying it's it's tough to make a video when you're married to a 75 year old woman Is what I was I get yeah, that's what I got gathering 70s it's it's got to be tough guess old ladies do kind of be like that sometimes Yeah yeah yeah they've got other plans all ladies be like that is that a

Potential sketch area I was just about to say you know what I mean like why don't we but let's shift gears top sketch what sketch should I be watching if I really want to laugh I mean you guys are the ones

to tell me right you've made them did we tell you about the the Italian guy's sketch did anybody mention that to you guys I don't know we can do that I saw one where you had a pizza is that

because was that a town Was that Italian? Was the pizza was Italian? Yeah. You were playing an Italian. Canonically, it was a little understated, but canonically I was an Italian guy. Yeah.

In that. Subtle Italian work. I didn't even tell you guys that. I picked up on it. Did you say which guy you were? No. Oh, yes. No, that's a great question.

Is there like, uh, is there kind of like a level-headed voice of reason? reason try guy oh yeah you need a stick guys i'm not sure we should try this right right nice right what are we doing guys i've always said i'll try anything i like to put the rails on yeah yeah yeah really need that you know don't say wiener things like that yeah might be too much so i can bust the room mm-hmm roll down the embankment right well that's what gets the adrenaline going when one one try guy's going like we can't try this you know and then it's like don't ever say that to me only say that to me if you want to see me try it you know whoa you're right yeah and that's where kevin i kind of it's the don't and please don't destroy right yeah yeah yeah

which one of those guys which guys are you oh wow okay who which one's the tallest That would be, Ben. He's pretty tall. I don't know if I'm that tall. You would be that. Energetically. I don't know. I feel like I should give you guys the tall one of him.

One of you should be the tall guy this time? This time. Yeah. Sure. But wait, which the tallest one is Ben. Ben. Who? Ben.

Ben. Okay. The tallest one's Ben. What about Martin? Ben. He's tall as well. So Ben's the tall one. John's not even short.

He's just not as tall. He's not. Really? There's multiple tall ones. I was going to ask that. Yeah, Ben's tallest, but there's... Oh, they've more than one tall one. Which one has the uncle at S&L?

They all do. Okay. Yeah. And then who cheated on their wife? Which one? They all did. Every swimming one. This is tough.

I feel like we kind of, there's bits and pieces of these guys that each of us have. Absolutely. We each kind of embody. That's tough. Holy shit. That's the right answer. I mean, that's tough. I guess I'm more like bad bunny.

Yeah. Yeah. You are. You really fucked with those guys. You are. Yeah. Well, you should have seen, I mean, Travis Kelsey beat their fucking ass.

He messed them up. Really? Like, I like comedy. I like to laugh, but I don't know. In front of your uncle, too. Something like that happened to you. Yeah. Like, he physically beat them up is what you're saying?

Yeah. From what I've seen and like what I read, I read a couple of recaps and articles about it, a couple books about it. And it seems like he really, they're gonna their ass pretty hard. How many books are there about that? I'd love to get my hands in a coffee.

Yeah, any one of them, I'd love. Yeah. Oh, so you're not asking how many types of books were written about, you're asking how many were published because you were saying, you want to get my hands on a copy. Yeah, oh, okay.

Just like how many? These were manuscripts that you saw. How many books are? So one of them was definitely a galleys. And then some of them were e-books. Okay. I like to physically touch the pages. That's the problem.

Yeah. So to get a printed one, you would need the galleys one. It's in some books. It's in there. it's not always the whole book and the whole thing is about the fight so he fucked them up was basically he's huge yeah

I mean he's a big guy professional athlete yeah you know what I mean monster you know he's dating right you're kidding Addison something Arianna

yeah yeah right wait did you say you're kidding yeah I said that that he is dating you said you he said you know who he's dating right and you said you're kidding.

Oh, I thought you said he's dating. You were just saying. Oh. So I was saying you're kidding. Oh. But I wasn't kidding, but I think, yeah.

No, I believe you. I was coming at it with more of a like, I, what? I can't believe he's out there. I thought you had already like, just like filled somebody in.

I did too. Yeah. I actually liked it as a conversational tactic. You really just like picked up on the amazing contest. to be like I know I do know who it is yeah and I agree that it's surprising so like you're kidding wow right got it up on actually really right out so fast I fuck with that unfortunately no I appreciate you bringing that up and it was an error you know kind of identifying that so we could kind of piece through it

piece through it get back on the same page because I was in a whole other area tell me about your manager big jay we don't we don't really know him. Don't know. Okay. Never met him. I'm seeing that favors Garrett. He told me his first initial. I've never met him before. And then one said big who is that. Garrett's like,

Oh, you know. That's Big J right there. You've actually met him. You've met him. It was just this kind of faceless guy. Yeah, it's like a Zoom. I mean, it's been a, it was a Zoom call every time. Every time. This is multiple times. He's like wearing, you know, like it's a dark, I can't really see his face. He's like wearing him like a hood. Because he's so big. He's looming over the top of the frame. Right. He's always getting just like his he's like six, five. He's tall. And you're tall too so that you can't even see him over that thing.

Sternum to enable. Well, it's like we're both looking at each other's. I don't know what I look like either. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Wow. You wore a mask or something. Yeah. But he's been. You know, I'll tell you who should hire him if he's that big. Don't fucking please don't destroy guys should hire Big J. And then have him go. And then have him go. beat up Travis Kelsey because he kicked the fuck out of them manage his ass yeah that's management

up and down Main Street your manager should fight Travis Kelsey on behalf of please don't destroy that and you film it oh move over purple spaghetti

and then we got a new viral video and then he's kind of in with the PDD guys who like Even though they're not still, like, having the exact same roles at SNL, they still have a real voice there. They still have real influence. Well, and SNL's not the only game in town.

I mean, you guys aren't on SNL. There's so many other stuff. Yet. But you're still doing stuff together, right? Yeah. I'm Lauren. I call you in. Sure.

Here we go. unpaid intern This is my Lorne Unpaid interns Get in here, you two You don't know there's three Show me your best stuff You know this is how it happens

It's like all of a sudden Yeah, yeah So like and then you would do what I think we know Yeah Wow Two of you agree Yeah

Gavin and Garrett have something Look, so get in here, you two was actually rather prescient, and I've heard this about Lord, he can feel it. Right. So those two have something, and Mike... No, I was, yeah. Tell me what were you thinking? Will you tell me...

Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. Yeah. What were you thinking? Oh, is that what you were thinking? All he has to do is kind of put his mouth next to the ear.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, there wasn't really... You don't need to do anything with it. No. No. There's a short hand here. That's short. So, yeah, I think three, two, one.

It's how many guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. creepy. That's cool. And you just say it.

All you have to do is say the name of the sketch. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. We huddle up and we think more is required, I guess. Yeah. You know. I would usually in my experience working with.

with him you usually do want to say the name of the sketch twice. Okay. You could say it again, yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I mean, I can't imagine why it would require saying it twice, I mean, the first time. It's pretty clear. He's old school.

He's got quirks. Okay. He's like a thousand years old. Mm-hmm. And then you, yeah, and then you just basically find out, you know, if he's going to be using you for the show. Right. Sure. so let's say he did use you day one you know right at a big pitch meeting right the guest is

whoever who would be a guest or host uh host for s an al yes yes is the host for s&L yes give a minute he's really good at this but okay but it's worth it but i want to hear no i'm sure you do yeah i hell i have some Really? Yeah. Wow. For S&L, you have some for S&L? I do, yeah. You have some? I might be overselling some.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, I think mine is going to be a girl. Whoa. Well, that's perfect for this, though, because we've got these three boys. Don't you think? I think, for me, week one, it's the new. season we've just hired who we hope to be like our new kind of that's what i would

do lonely island yeah which guys are you lonely island only island wow is there a i just want to ask is there a tall one really uh i think i'm i think i'm i think i'm a keva is that How do you say it? Akeva? Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm him. And who's the cheater? Which one is the cheater?

Who's the cheater? Who's the cheater? Yeah, do they have any scandals or? That's interesting. I can't figure out of sit. I guess. Samberg, did he ever cheat? I guess they all must have, right?

Yeah, so I got my choice. I mean, like, and I don't even like putting that stuff out there, but they all, it must have been all of them. When I've seen them, I mean, I've seen them, films and stuff and they seem to be having these dalliances with other women they're kissing people and you know to me

that's cheating and what was it what was that word you said? Dalliances. Dallions. Wow. What's that one? Dalliance? It's like a little trist. Oh it's a trist okay. I think it's the same as a trist. Thanks Mike. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I wasn't going to

get there. Honestly I was pinned against the wall and this show was about to go bad. And I stepped in and I. Trist, yeah, you caught the bullet. Take my hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because how do you even describe something like that,

Adalians? You know what I mean? I have no idea. Are you saying Italians or Adalians? See, that's interesting. That's kind of why I asked, Gary. I'm glad you asked that question. You heard that too?

Yeah, I mean, phonetically, that's sort of where I was. Jesus. Right. Well, let's get back to the girl host. We've got our, you know, our new lonely island. And we basically are, like, looking for them to take this strong female host and show the world. She's funny. She's not just, and I don't know what shows she is on, but she's not just this show, right?

Or a movie. She's not just the movie. Or a song. Might be from a song. But she's actually. she's funny and who better to showcase it than the tri-guise

on the island the tri-gis unpaid island yeah unpaid interns and you'd be barely paid interns at that point when they treat their

cast there I think what about I think her name should be Patty he's got something whoa okay

he's got something if it's a girl don't you think It's a beautiful name. Some boys are named that. Yeah. But it's more girls. But now I think that's actually good.

For the first show, if it's a girl, I think it's Patty. Patty? Well, yeah. Patty. Because unfortunately, I'm going to say this. Unfortunately, there are still audience members who are going to want to want to be able to pretend that the host is a boy. Yeah.

And so if we have somebody who's named... Even now today, there would be people who, especially the first show. Hayes has a saying that I think comes into play here, I don't make the rules, but I sure do play by them. Mm-hmm. Hmm.

And if I was in control and I had a magic wand, that can make everyone really accept a female SNL host. Or a fat magic staff. Guardian staff. With an orb at the fucking top or fucking something? Garrett's going off.

He's got a wizard staff. Wizard staff. Yeah. Did you say an orb at the top? With an orb that's kind of... Did you guys bring any beers or anything? Did you bring any, like, um... Do you have any props or props? Yeah.

Hold. Yeah. We've got some gold chains and some wife beaters. Yeah. Wow. Fedoras? Fodoras and some fucking bats. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. And not the kind you hit balls with. You can say that again. Right. I'm not cigars. You call... You call...

You call... You call cigars bats. You got to... You didn't even know they were called the cigars. Right. Yeah. You got to speak the language of the... Bats.

Character. Yeah. A few bats. Mike, you were unaware of that? I just thought they were called bats. That we all kind of agreed to... called cigars, Bats?

I didn't know what that word is. He only knows them as Bats. Oh, sorry. I misunderstood. Oh, sorry. Oh, there was another word for BAT. Yeah. And the word is cigar.

So when did cigar? When did that word come on the scene? Because BAT was first. When did we start using cigar? You get the memo. I presume BAT was the first standard. I missed a meeting. But you brought those.

those are in the car yeah those are in one of our cars yeah yeah I have a sketch idea for them I have a sketch idea for them and I don't know exactly all I know is it's good

this could have been an email right are the wheels turning this could have been an email okay right something crazy happens I don't know yeah I don't know

No, it's funny. Yeah. It has legs. I don't know that something crazy should happen. See, okay. Do you have? I mean, like, depends on if you think this is crazy. I mean, like, this stuff happens all the time.

Sure. Someone in a fedora and like, wearing a chain, got a big old bat. Yeah. Yeah, I don't necessarily use the term. Yeah. It's a normal name. What's an email? Yes.

What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that? They come up with the switch blade and they're like, Thank you, Give me your money. And you say, this could have been an email. Okay.

You know? By the way. It's pitched. It's like, it's not necessarily something you expect to happen when you walk out of the door. Is it crazy? That's making me. This is the world we live in.

The give me your money part is making me actually think about something crazy. and I don't have it, but it's like, someone walks up you on the street and they're like saying, like, they're speaking in kind of like almost, kind of broken sentences, and it feels like poorly translated, and they're going like, you know,

I need money. I'm a prince from another country. country and here's this it's it's it's Viagra it takes some Viagra I'm Prince Viagra uh and I have a big business opportunity and the money I'll hold your identity has been stolen it's spam they're doing a spam they're talking to you like a spam does yes and then you say this is an email this is an email this is an email this is an email but you're talking to them I guess but like would that actually happen though uh this is what I'm saying.

Yeah, this is why I don't. Is it like, this is why I don't ever do this. It's a good, no. Every day you roll out of bed and you like talk to someone who is an email. But, but he's saying like, it's not every day. In fact, it's not any day. Like, that doesn't really happen. We would lose people, I think.

Yeah. And as I think back about like sketches that I've liked, it's like. Which I was Kelsey really could kick the shit out of me. Are there people that watch your videos and stuff that you're thinking about? Who kind of count on you to reflect their experience? Different people that you want to shout out. Like, different people that watch. Are there some that you've got your eye on?

You're hoping to bring into the fold. We just want, we just want to make sure that everything we're doing is, you know, as relatable as possible. We like to shout, I mean, like, broad is my thought, broad, comedy. We like to shout out different people. Shout out, yeah. Listen to the show and participate in it. Oh, sure. Shout up.

Man. Yeah. Monk, you want us to... You're listening, Mr. Monk. Do you want us to shout out kind of some people who... Some loyal fans? I don't give the fuck what you do.

I'm saying this is what we do. And it's worked pretty well for us. Whether you do it or not, just kind of... Literally, I can't spend one second of my day thinking about that. My plate is four. If you three walked out the door

and got... literally run over by a dog on a motorcycle. I wouldn't lose a second of fucking sleep over that. Because to me, you don't exist. You're obviously not going to shout me out at any videos. That's like so foreign to you. The idea of like shouting out like one of your biggest supporters.

But we're dead if we get hit by this dog on a motorcycle. Yeah, we would. Yeah, exactly. This thing you don't exist. Right now, you're not planning to shout me out. So then if you don't exist anymore, it's like,

whatever I wasn't getting a shout out anyway. And I think probably most of your fans feel that way. I just A couple shoutouts Let me just get a couple shoutouts out there Frankenstein Abraham Lincoln Thank you for listening

My dad's dentist Thanks so much for being involved The good wife Good wife Dude You're the greatest Thanks for watching Good wife is our day one

The show The Bash not Franklin The character from the show Got it The lawyer Bones from Bones She lawyer

she went to law school yes she's not practicing listens to this bones from bones thanks for thanks so much for supporting us thanks for being a Patreon subscriber bones is on the Patreon wow I'm starting to think it might be part of an investigation

that she has embedded herself and you say like it's not really her job she's not supposed to do that yeah that's what her boss her friends try to say to her yeah they've all this is a girl

but guess what yeah you guys are too young bones from bones bones bones bones the redhead bones bones was a girl

say it you're probably thinking of David Bonianez I'm kind of like Lauren Michaels I need you to say it twice for me so it's they're talking about

the bones from bones oh I'm thinking of David Borneo or whatever oh okay Boni Annas yeah I don't know who that is

yeah but we'll shut them out you'll shout out David Boni Anas Yeah Does he watch your clip I'm sure he's seen You think he has I think he has

Okay Boney Ais Why do you think he hasn't reached out Has anybody done that Has anybody done Boney Ains? You think Sorry You think David Boni Anas

Boney Anus Is watching Your clips Yeah And feels inclined to reach out, but then so overwhelmed by

intimidation that he deletes the message that he was crafting, either in a comment or a direct message. That's what you think is happening. Yes. Damn, that's so fucking. Yeah.

Probably email, too. Yeah, both. Multiple mediums. Yeah, probably got our number several forms of... See? It works. It works. A guy named David Boni.

Bye. Yep. That was a headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Drew Offalo. And I'm Jason Offoallo. And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once.

even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to two idiot girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.