Hollywood Handbook - Whitmer Thomas and Clay Tatum, Our Slamdance Friends

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

The Boys talk to WHITMER THOMAS and CLAY TATUM about attending The Slamdance Festival for their new film The Civil Dead. Watch the video recording of this episode at Patreon.com/TheFlagrantOnes. And buy a very Flagrant new shirt here!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast so i um so i've got like my spoon in my backpack like my big ladle you know the spoon you know the big one that i carry hayes the spoon that i have yeah the big spoon very deep the large it's deep is what it is because it's not that big around yeah but it's probably like that or so and uh and so you know he's explaining this whole thing he's like holding a fucking sheep or something and he's talking and and i just kind of you know dip my spoon and i get i don't know it's not much that it's not didn't fill the spoon like six tablespoons something like that and i and i start slurping on it and the farmer fucking bugs out it's like i just churned that i'm like yeah dog so that's why i'm fucking

spooning it dude because it's pretty fresh like what the fuck are we doing and he's like you are at a job interview to be my farm hand and i'm like okay that's one way to characterize it like i don't know if you've heard but the workforce is shifting like labor has the power now you know i mean you're auditioning for me can you offer me a good enough job obviously not because i took six or ten tablespoons of butter and started slurping it and you're like fucking going like mark ruffalo hulk style on me or some shit like really really mad yeah i took a lot of a little butter home with me every day well i eat a lot when i'm there because i need energy to work so i'm like snacking obviously on the butter like picking up big i had

a spoon this day but i've picked up big handfuls it's a dirty spoon i'm not gonna pretend the spoon's clean it's so deep you cannot clean it nope nope you would need all the stuff at the bottom is so far down there i can't i don't even know what you would need to clean it a toilet brush but that's not that's gonna get it even dirtier because that i've been using in the toilet the toilet brush would only be i guess useful if you'd use the spoon to like eat a big piece of poop or something but like well let's not get because i just because of who our guests are today i don't want to start on that topic at all um uh we should bring them we should bring them in but for that purpose but like it's not but i can see why people would see it and be like oh did you use that to like oh why because like yeah because of because it's kind of deep enough that you... Yeah. Yeah.

Let's not start there, because I think we're going to end up there, and I actually did not like the last time these particular guests were on, specifically because of the topic that you seem to be steering us into. So let's just... Yeah. Yeah, we can just get into it.

Our friends are here. The boys got a little creative, didn't they? They went and got a little bit creative. And they went in. They made themselves a little picture, didn't they? Yeah. Didn't you, boys? We did.

Didn't you make a little picture show for us? Yeah. Don't play coy with me you two boys i think you've been up to something after school and getting into a little bit of trouble with those cameras and gadgets you clay did you do this clay were you clay sure yeah did clay make a picture yeah i made a big picture i did the movie okay yeah okay you made a big one and it was it fun yeah uh-huh yeah it looked like you were having a blast up there i didn't i yeah i you know we talked about this a little bit before i personally couldn't finish it.

I was so excited to see it. I'm so excited for you that you did it. I understand the movie went on for another hour or so after I stopped watching it. That's so impressive. Oh, yeah. Do you want to talk about what it is or what we're trying to do? Clay, if I get anything wrong, you just...

Okay, for sure. I'll be right here. I'll let you know if you... It's a feature film. Okay. It's called The Civil Dead. That's right. The Sevil Dead.

Yeah. Civil. Civil. Civil. Yeah. Yeah. The Civil Shepherd. I wish.

From the old days, you know what I'm saying? No. What are you saying? I'm just talking about her looks. I'm talking about her looks from when she was young. Why did you bring up the old days? What's wrong with her look now? Oh, when she was young, she was looking tight.

You remember? No. I think she looks good now. And there's always something with these two well she looked when she was young though she was looking tight i actually i think she looks better i'm actually prefer i'm actually really fondly remembering the days but when the two of you mostly talked about eating poop on this show that felt to me like something we could all get on board for. Between that and ageism?

Yeah. I would rather be served. It's so many wrong things at once. Okay, but when she was young, she was looking tight. And she's looking good now, but when she was young, she was looking tight. I still talk about

poop. I don't talk about this stuff. I'm not. Yeah, I'm fighting. This is Sean's fault. He brought her tight ass up. No, no, no. I'm telling you, that ass is big. I will say this. When he brings up ass,

it does remind me of poop. Well, yeah, that's why I'm thinking about it. Her ass, ooh, it's so big because of all the poop inside of it. I'm turning off this episode now. If I'm listening and we're here now, I am turning it off and I'm going, yes, I'll try again next week because we've just... Well, there's other stuff in there. There's so many objectionable things.

And for the sake of your thinking about because i'd like to know how it ends i want to talk to some people i want some of our listeners to watch it and tell me what the rest of it is yeah i'm thinking about the second ad on the movie who's just trying to do his job and here these two are talking about on the set sybil shepherd's butt and because i can't even say it yeah what it's filled with and he's saying this is my boss yeah yeah we were talking about it and we our second we had a rather my boss the farmer we had like 20 at this point yeah the farmer at least speaks respectfully about sybil shepherd i mean that's another kind of job that he's

doesn't feel like you know him that well because he's always you don't he doesn't he can't get close to you because he's always getting so frustrated with you for stealing his butter it's not stealing taking it's from the earth for dipping his butter whatever it is if you keep pissing him off like that, you're never actually going to get to know what he thinks of Sybil Shepard. Are you threatening me? No, I'm just giving you advice as an employee. Speaking of employees and employment,

if you do want to threaten me, I would happily invite you over here to get this work. Well, yeah, maybe I'll bring my friend, Clay, and Clay's always got a butt full of poop and he'll be ready to... Just like... Just compounding the issue. You know what I mean? It's like...

It's like someone pulling the emergency brake, but it's actually nitrous boosters. Like the thing you think is gonna save you yeah it's just steering you further into the all right i won't tragic car crash that has become this episode of our show yeah all right this movie this what's up yes yeah what's up like what's the movie is that where is it it's Let's get to it. It's on Slamdance. For the next nine days. Finally. Yes.

It's basically uploaded to YouTube, but on Slamdance, and it costs $10. Slamdance is like... First time I went to Sundance, I was like, this is so corny. This is so corporate.

So corny. The music sucks. Yeah. The people is so corporate. So corny. The music sucks. Yeah. The people are so fake. Everyone's trying to like... The drugs were not... Yes. The drugs they had were all these like mainstream corporate drugs.

Too clean. Yes. Too corporate and also like very dangerous. Nothing was being mixed with any kind of solvent or cleanser. Yeah. Yes. And it was from chemicals and it was not from the earth at all and so i'm like walking through sundance i'm feeling like totally like everything sucks

yeah who's gonna come along and like actually get this entertainment industry back to the roots where it started actually about being creative exactly and then i hear just like from like way down like on the other side of park city town yeah from all literally across town almost in another town i hear yes and so and i'm walking about clay's haircut you did see the first part i'm following the sound and i'm like holy shit and like as i'm getting closer like people i'm just i can tell that the people are starting to be more real people are laughing people are coughing they're dressed in a way that yeah they're coughing from these fucking masks yeah sunday it's just like wall the wall masks this year yeah it's like get out of you gotta get out of here dude let's come see adrian grenier in a fucking mask like a fool a total tool like a complete fool their clothes are like kind of

scary like kind of punk but also kind of like rocker type clothes with spikes on them yeah but they're nice yeah they're like nice they look scary but they're actually really nice and the clothes are expensive and but the people were being so nice they're intentionally distressed in a way that is like very stylish but also uh a little a little intimidating which is how i dress like a bad like badass it's badass shit i mean it really was it really was cool and i i said i do believe i've found my tribe. And I was like, what is this place? Like, this can't be Sundance.

Sundance sucks. Yeah. Sundance is bitch made. What is this shit? And they were like, this is Slamdance. Care to come in and ask my D, which I learned means slam my dance. Mm-hmm. Yep.

And did you watch a movie right away we partied yeah through the entire movie we watched a movie partying so hard but like safely and using drugs that are not about like destroying your mind

but actually adding new parts onto it. Exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. What was that? Playing games.

Yo, what kind of games? What kind of games are you playing? We play lots of games, too. I just want to know what kinds of games y'all play. Slapjack. Yeah. Uh-huh. They play...

We miss the slapjack. Spit. Spit. Yeah. We were playing table. Mm-hmm. We were doing slapjack. Spit. Spit. Yeah. We were playing table. We were doing jumpers. We did three rounds of jumpers. What are some other...

We played a spin the bottle, but when the bottle lands on you, you have to share your most dangerous idea. We did a stretch and share. Kevin, sit up. I just did a long and share Kevin sit up I just did a long walk sit up what was the stretch and share Sean

you're about to go on a long walk we did a stretch and share that went so deep and the stretch I don't know what was deeper the stretches or the truths being divulged but by the end of it I was really tired. Did you go back to your cozy hotel?

Slept right where I was. Yeah. In the coat room. That's the slam dance. That's slam dance. Talk about the slam dance experience. Talk about the acceptance ritual, which I've heard is very profound in its way. The first thing that I noticed that made me feel at home while we were walking the path, there's a path, was those mosquito stick lamp candles that are colorful.

They're very colorful. You know those? And that, me and Clay looked at each other. They have colorful ones? Yeah, they're very colorful you know those yeah and that me and clay looked at they have colorful ones yeah they're really colorful blue imagine a whole group of guys oh yes yes yes yes i've seen these yeah yes i now i'm remembering god i was so out of it holding these there's a lot of guys holding those and me and clay they said come this way follow us and we look at each other and we nod we go we're home we're home i have full i had full body chills clay had to lend me his coat and were you like were you like giggling you're so excited i was

giggling well clay was a little bit both kind of going just a little bit yeah a little bit we didn't want the fellas to hear because because it was a lot of fellas. You're covering your mouth a little bit and like giggling? Yeah, I covered my mouth a little bit, and they go, we don't do that here. Wow. I let go of the- They thought that you were scared of getting COVID, which they- Which is un-punk.

They don't do. Yeah, that's not punk. Yeah. Yeah. So we're walking up, and we see a guy. And this guy, he was, what, like one foot tall? He was one foot tall. Wow.

Okay. That's a very interesting kind of guy. Yeah, we realized. He might have just been far away. Well, that's what we learned. He was really far away. Okay. Because that's the top of a large set of steps.

Okay. And he was really far away okay that's the top of a large set of steps okay he was very far away so we got closer to him and he was at he was five seven wow okay so yeah still below so like little below average which i told him and clay made fun of him to his face which felt like the slam dance way this slam dance way and i was scared i i i put my hand on clay's chest saying relax and then i said what the fuck you say to me yeah and he said what the fuck you say to me let me do my thing he said let me do my thing yeah yeah and you had grabbed you had grabbed clay's tt effectively at that point well so i pointed up my shirt that said let me do my thing and the a and the thing was an anarchy sign yep wow okay which they give to you when you get accepted. They give you that when you just arrive at Slamdance. It says, let me do my thang.

My understanding is you don't tell them your size. Whatever they give you, that's what you wear for the whole festival. That's your size. Here's your size. Here's your size. It's a small. And you go, if you say, I want a bigger a bigger one they go what do you say fatty and i said i didn't say anything i'll put this a

small this is really not as nice as as my experience was they were really nice to me i did ask i said do you have a bigger shirt and they said yeah i think we got one in here and then they pulled out like a little like a little baby onesie yeah and they made me put that they said this ought to fit you better but they didn't say like they wasn't mean it was kind of i think i think it was trying to get me to come out of my shell and let go of some of my old ideas of what a shirt should be for like a film festival should be which is you know watching a movie yeah watching a movie and you're not partying at all exactly and you're like listening i guess to the movie but no one's like saying their most dangerous idea exactly i you can do that i guess

there's some value or was at some point in time but the slam dance way you gotta do your thing what i love about slam dance and i like i hope they gave this to the creators as well as to the people that were just there as guests to enjoy the films is that they let you torch they give you space and no no they give you uh space to just like run around a little bit and and actually like time for that well yeah and you are allowed you know in the movie theaters they have the curtain yes you're allowed to go back there yes you're allowed to go back there there's a little space on the side or you can kind of run around during the movie yeah i had somebody just kind of grab my elbow because i was like kind of like just shifting around a lot like shuffling and i sort of yeah yeah i had to pee which a little i

did but and i was like making little like kind of grunt noises the whole time and somebody just sort of tucked their hand under my elbow and they guided me over to this kind of free space nobody was in there and they said they had a stopwatch and they said two minutes get your sillies out yeah i remember that well we you know we did the screening we were like we were the opening film for the thing and the screening was incredible which was you came in there's theater seating and they were like well we can do two things we can have we can watch this movie the symbol dead or we have a big box of crayons wow you guys can mess around with yeah and so it's fun to see everyone choosing the the big box yeah and my clay's thing with me is that he describes a superhero to me, and I draw it, and then he colors it in.

And it's really fun. We were doing that for basically. Basically the runtime of it. What were some of the guys? Yeah, what was the superhero name? Name one of the big ones that Clay drew. Yeah, I guess Clay should probably describe it. Yeah, I remember how they looked.

Yeah. I just, yeah, I don't remember how they looked. yeah i just yeah i i don't remember how they look clay's more of the you're talking about yeah well we i had a character named brown bucket boy yeah and he can and he's like he can like fill up his okay his big bucket with bad guys all right let's do another one let's do it oh well no these are oh these are his bad guys and The bad guys, the brown bucket man's bad guys, they come from inside of him. And that's sort of a metaphor if you think about it. These brown guys come out of him. And I'm realizing we should have had a space.

We should have had a free space for you guys pre-podcast to slam dance style get your sillies out. Yeah. Because I do feel like someone's coming at me. Don't draw that. but can i tell you clay's idea for uh and this this character he came up with is i was thinking would be a great uh cartoon for like an adult like an adult swim okay and it's a superhero and his name is beer man and his thing is he has to have a beer to fight bad guys and that's his he likes drinking beer

yeah i think adult swim could actually fuck with that they actually could fucking do that man they actually could rock they've done on their huckleberry hound and some of the other stuff i've seen on that channel yeah that shit could be actually pretty fucking dope man so what's this deal he's drinking beers yeah that's some incredible clay you came up with it yeah i did i did come up with that i was a little high how many does he even drink i love this how many basically it's six pack it's so many yeah so much he's no you can't and he's fighting because you because it makes you a little like weird when you drink he's not afraid of stuff from the beer so he drinks a six pack and he fights the bad guys oh it's like brave but it makes you tight like it makes you like yeah it

makes you sick to drink it well he's yeah i, there's all kinds of funny stuff we could do. You know, we're working on the pitch. Right now it's in crayon on some construction paper. And it says, like, if the bad guys are too crazy, he one-time barfs on them. You have to tell me if you do it. No, I don't mean to interrupt. You have to tell me if you do this.

I'm going to watch that. Okay. Cool. Beer man. Yeah, we're working on it. That's so good. We're trying to find a producer right now. Yeah, yeah.

We're thinking of getting Johnny Rotten to produce it. Do you mind if I actually text my friend about Beer Man? I just think he'd really like this. Yeah, please. I think he'd really like this idea. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah. Hang on.

Okay. We'll wait. I'll just... I'm... Hang on. Yeah, no. Yeah. Okay.

I'm just telling him, like... You know, about the idea. I think he'd really like it. I have, like, some friends who are, like, into, like... Funny stuff? Yeah. This sort of shit. Yeah. Hang on. idea i think he'd really like it i have like some friends who are like into like funny stuff yeah this this sort of shit yeah and i i just got a text from sean that says it says it says beer man it's funny but it's cool too i mean it's kind of crazy but i honestly think that actually could like that could be actually really funny for real that's what's fucking me up i didn't even know if

you were kidding at first and now i'm going like this could be a fucking show i mean not on like on adult swim it could not on like a you know like they wouldn't do it i actually think he'd be oh god he'd be so messed up but like even free form i don't think could do it but i i do i think uh i'm thinking some of the stories well well yeah because if he's if he's friends with the single drug female yeah exactly okay is he cartoons yeah yeah it's cartoon because you can really do a lot with the cartoon no that's why i want to say you could make the beer bigger and yeah yes well there's an episode where he gets a beer and it's huge it's like as big as he is i was gonna i know i'm not involved but i was gonna say like you should definitely have a beer that's like as big as he is yeah so yeah so

huge almost i wasn't gonna say that yeah but yeah but big yeah i was gonna say like bigger than his arm oh right well that's good too i they say bigger big as he is, I don't know how he drinks it. It just feels like it's dangerous. I don't like when it's fake. Right, right. Yeah, that's probably a good note. Yeah, you do write more than us, so we'll keep that in mind. Hollywood Handbook.

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slash the boys rocket money.com slash the boys so were you walking around being like what's up or like well yeah at this point we're talking after the screening we're exhausted but at the same time we're hyped because of the clay's new idea okay so we're walking around conf you know they say you have to have your next project planned yeah when you get into one of these. So we have it. We're confident. We're walking around shaking hands. And you're being like, yeah, check it out.

Who are you saying what's up to? Is there anyone there who's like... Is there someone there? Yeah. It's a lot of people. Okay. Yeah, there's Jeremy Piven. Wow. Wow. of people okay yeah there's uh jeremy piven wow um who's the who's the older guy titus titus remember titus the guy the car when he did the car tv show christopher titus

titus titus was there stacy keach's son and titus and titus yeah yeah and uh michael rapaport michael rapaport was there and the i am rapaport the cast of strip mall they were there strip mall julie brown was there yeah they were there because they were doing a retrospective and you said what's up i clay i said what's up and clay held up the construction paper with beer man on it and their mouths fell to the ground because they were laughing are there like it like obviously you're there to like hang out and like do work and stuff but are any girls being like what's up yeah oh yeah yeah yes girls being like what's up yeah oh yeah yeah yes okay would girls like beer man uh it's for it's mostly for it's mostly the demographic is mostly guys yeah but even though it's a cartoon

you would think it'd be for kids but that's the twist that we're not who i'm sorry not who watches it oh right in the beer man show yeah do girls? I think that, like, he has a hard time with the wrong girls. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. He's rejecting the right ones. Yeah. The right one, maybe. Wine Girl.

That's... He... Eventually, he's the girl. Wait, no, no. I think Hayes is figuring it out. Oh, sorry. Yeah, Hayes has something. Look at him.

He says... He sees her. Mm-hmm. And he says... He says... He says... Who's... Mm-hmm.

He says... He says... he says who's he says he says to the wine girl he says you this is my girlfriend today yeah well that's the idea

if she could say or I don't know what you were saying before Whit but the idea. If she could say, or I don't know what you were saying before, Whit, but this is just something he could say. Give me a minute. I would say keep an open mind, too. Because I don't know if this is what you were pitching, Clay, or if this was not, but if he says it's

Hayes' thing was that it's his girlfriend and she says why not? Yeah. Or if he says this isn't my girlfriend or if he says this isn't my girlfriend is that okay yeah yeah no no yeah yeah i think um why not why and why am i tie why not wine yeah why am i die yeah wine come and you're vine you're wine you're wine

you're wine you're wine you're wine yeah you're be wine yeah yeah I guess be wine probably

if we're choosing between wine and vine wine is wine is related to wine for sure but I think

I think we can just use wine I think we can just go straight to wine yeah let's do it I have have a i have another and i hate to i know it's your guy's thing but i just like got me like you ever hear these ideas that just like get your brain like right yeah boiling like i'm just like it's like pot like popcorn's up there and i'm having all these ideas but um if beer man like if there's a i'm assuming there's a

bad guy hello hello well they can hear what pitch or not they can hear this pitch or not but if i think there should be a bad guy or maybe even two. Okay. And if beer man kicks this guy in the ass so hard, he just like caves in his ass. He could go, okay, you just got beer ended. Or maybe you should hit him with a beer can in the ass.

And, and, and, and well, that could also like cave in his ass. He throws it so hard sorry you got sorry sorry i beer ended you yeah or he throws it so hard it like gets like full like embedded in there in the cheek not like it doesn't no i know i i guess my idea is that like

a rear ending of a car is that it somehow collapses in the bumper. Can I just say, now that these guys are gone, I don't think these guys went to slam dance. Did you notice this? I haven't even been thinking about it. I'm just trying to figure out how we get beer man. I know, I know. I know, I know.

I don't think they know what they have. I saw that exact thought. You're getting so excited about this idea, and I've seen how you just like you get so much momentum from beer ended is like that's every specific that's a whole episode every specific i've said about slam dance they're like the like like following along like they know what it's like there but like everything they're describing it was like there but like everything they're describing it was like actually not like that at all is it i i you know i would never let someone do do a drawing of like brown bucket man that's fake but i i actually study like micro expressions

okay and their faces like the way they're when you'll ask them something like their eyebrow or their cheek will give like a panicked micro expression it's so small you wouldn't catch it so they're gonna come when they come back i do think we just have to like keep asking them questions about this and like gather more information they're giving too many details if they're going out there and saying like we're we rep slam dance this year like i could actually fuck up the entire thing so like he's connecting the audio right now but when he they're they're gonna blow it hello hi my internet went out how much did you hear in terms of like the beer ended pitch um we we heard up to the point of um i pitched the idea that it should be sobriety man but I think you guys had another idea yeah

I wasn't even talking about that yeah we didn't hear that oh this is so much better this is really great thanks guys we finally sorted it out the enemy of beer is probably not sobriety as a whole it's probably like tonic and bitters

or something. Sean, do you like this? He bumps in. I know we didn't like Vine, but he bumps in and says the beer-ended line and says, you are the vine. I am the beer man.

His enemy is actually probably bitter beer face Kevin let's talk about that later I have some thoughts on it I don't like it but we can talk about it okay what did so how did you guys fix the issue you were having with your internet just because you were

you were a little bit staticky before it now you're coming in so clear did you get into a saddle it's almost like you are like upgraded to like grounded fiber like fiber that's actually connected like jacked straight into the computer well i'm getting freaked out because it feels like they're in the room with me boys if you can hear me turn your video off that might help yeah when clay were the when you were at slam dance were the counselors did the counselors like let you if you're like in in your like bunk at night, are the counselors coming in and stopping you from even talking? Or they can let you talk as long as you keep the lights out?

It's like lights out, but lights out is just literally that. The lights have to be out, but you can stay up and you can keep talking. No, we would whisper and tell stories. Yeah. A lot of that. And one night I got my stomach hurt and the counselor gave me some pringles but yeah we were telling stories mostly the counselors were pretty cool they were they were coming in and like chilling and like well sometimes you know

they had their own stuff to do because they were all older. Yeah. Yeah. 23? They were older? Yeah. Plain red can Pringles or was there a flavor on it? Was it like- It was sour. The sour kind. Sour Pringles.

The sour cream Pringles. Sour Pringles. Sour Pringles. Yeah. Yeah. I told him I had a tummy ache and my guy, first thing he says, we need Pringles. I got a big thing of sour chips for you, pal. And I go, thank you so much.

He said, dip them in this long can. Dip that hand in this long can and get yourself a stack of Pringles. And I brought him back to bed. Well, he said, put your little possum here and get a stack of sours. Yeah, and I bring bringing back to bed and you know the the other campers are sniffing these things out and you know you've never seen it's like critters the other filmmakers i mean these are right these are artists was the swim test hard it wasn't really that hard because we've practiced a lot before because once we got accepted we're

gonna we said to ourselves we're gonna have to learn how to swim yeah okay so we could wait for i mean we could tread water for 30 seconds easy which is enough to get a bronze yeah if you're curious if you ever wanted to make a film that's some info that you might need yeah okay just so you know for like for example the the sundance hit that came out a couple years ago what was it called little miss sunshine yeah though they got a lot of gold and and so they they were treading water oh i remember the director of hard candy he could tread for like 40 seconds yeah so obviously that's going let's like let's not even forget the guy who did year of the dog yeah that was he was treading for up to a minute same with

um um what was the other one rocket science i feel like i feel like uli's gold is what you're thinking of when you say someone got a lot of gold that it's probably uli's gold is that the gold that you find when you're digging around someone answer what uh i'll i'll field this one it's not what is it uli's gold is that a movie it's honey oh honey gotcha i'm just'm just wondering, were you guys allowed to do your cut and paste project together? Did one of you do the scissors and one of you was sticking it down? Or did you each have to work on your own independent? Because you made the movie together, so I just didn't know how they do that. I always work. I don't usually

I work alone yeah Clay is using most of the tape yeah I'm kind of the scissors guy you also do the stamp thing where you stamp the film together he did that too which is why his name's in the credit yeah

and Clay he's constantly fudging around with this tape, trying to figure out which way to make it the best. Did Cropsey give you any problems? Late at night, was Cropsey attacking you? No, Cropsey's getting kind of older, and apparently he's really mellowed out. That's great to hear.

Yeah. I know the year I was there, Cropsey was a headache for a lot of the filmmakers. You did not want to run across him. No, he was cool. The only, he didn't like it when you got too loud in the cafeteria. That was the only flare up we saw from him. If we can get back to beer man for a minute.

That was the only flare up we saw from him. If we can get back to beer man for a minute. Are we worried about dude driving on the show? Well, he flies. Okay. And like a twin engine. Seems bad too. Oh, right. Yeah.

Well, did you say he flies in a twin engine plane? Yeah. Like a Cessna. Yeah, that's right. That's how, did you say he flies in a twin engine plane? Yeah. Like a Cessna? Yeah, that's right. That's how he gets around. Obsessednud. Somebody says. Wine Girl says that.

I would love to keep talking about beer, man. I guess as we move forward, I'm having a lot of issues with exploring a possible partnership on this. Mm-hmm. with like exploring a possible partnership on this because i'm really not hearing i'm not getting the the feeling that you guys actually went to slam dance i am not hearing the slam dance experience reflected in your comments just from the very first like clay's teasing the five seven man and then they're in you know body shaming him and i'm saying they would they would never say that stuff that was like my first red flag you know we have we haven't even hung out in a long time we've changed yeah the counselor doesn't it's not you yeah you have definitely yeah you've changed you've changed. You stopped telling me the truth.

And you started pretending you went to slam dance. You have changed a lot. Slam dance has not changed. Slam dance doesn't have to change. Death taxes and the slam dance way. The three things I can count on. Slam dance. Okay.

So the counselors, first of all, aren't even in the bunks with you so like once you're in there you have like you actually get treated like an adult there and like you can't leave the bunk necessarily but like you can keep the lights on it's like for for you and the rest of your group like you're allowed to stay up and like do do basically whatever you want in there uh the swim test is very hard the swim test is not just treading water you could the idea that you could get a bronze from just like treading water is like unbelievably stupid and dangerous we were doing other stuff we just wanted to mention that part of it. What other stuff were you doing?

We were jumping off of the dock a lot. No, no, no. Dude, we were. And we were also doing that thing where you go grab those little things that are heavy down off the ground the ring no no no honestly none none none of this matters the alone the idea that cropsy has chilled out that was my that was where i where i was where i got that is a blinking red light i mean it just says like do not trust these men he cropsy this past slam dance murdered joe pantoliano cropsy's attacking joey every single person there he look i was at this fucking throat yeah and that was his flare up at the

do you see that scar can you see it yeah yeah yeah that was from this past slam dance and you're saying that cropsy was being chill and not attacking anyone? That's right. He had one flare up at the cafeteria. Look at that. Look at that scar. Look at that. It really goes down.

That was not from the cafeteria. Also, Cropsey doesn't go in the cafeteria. The entire cafeteria is basically the most Cropsey-proofed location at slam dance. Hayes, do you wash the scar? Do I wash it? The cut looked wet. The one you just showed me looked wet.

And I wouldn't say it looked a little infected. Have you been to the doctor with it? No, I went to the Slamdance doctor. It's like a medical tent. Yeah, there's a tent. What they say it looks bad what did they say they said they said what kind of kibosh do you like yeah yes rub this on it yeah you rub kombucha on it yeah yeah quite a bit and and they said

these little guys will eat it up does it hurt it fucking kills it's a scar it's a scar from cropsy slicing me wait which one of y'all has the scar again yeah we both held it up we both showed two different two separate equally because we're on zoom you only see one person at a time yeah when y'all talk about scars Hayes was showing us something. Sorry about that. Wow, so both y'all got a scar from Cropsey? Yes. Cropsey sliced every single person there. And he killed Joe Pantoliano.

See, here's another scar on Sean. He sliced him in two different parts. Holy shit. Don't pinch the scar. Don't pinch the scar. Don't pinch the scar. I guess it's fine. I got to pinch it. I'm supposed to squeeze the booch out every 45 minutes.

Because otherwise it sets. You have to squeeze it. Wow. Okay. Well, yeah. I mean, Clay, you're older than me. So I'm going to let you take the lead on this slam dance thing. I don't know

because honestly like this is like you've been going around the amount of like self-promotion you all are doing is like insane on a on a normal day but like for like for this like slam dance shit it has been absolutely suffocating for me for everyone else who knows capable and i and i go they have to realize at some point they are having the opposite effect of you know their desired outcome but i guess what i'm learning now is it's you're compensating it is uh imposter syndrome you were worried everyone will find out you didn't even know what slam dance is i think from what i'm hearing and if the if the if the strategy was to be like

so awful about it to be like so over the top just like incessant with like the slam dance shit right that and no one would no one would want to ask you about it no one would ever want to like ask you questions so you would not be able to reveal that you you don't you i mean you don't know what it is you don't know what slam dance you don't know what it is we know what it is what is it what is it what is slam dance it's where you go to at sometimes you draw your you have lots of paper where there's many different cart uh crayons and please listen this time around because it feels like you didn't hear them the first time and you can draw any stuff you want you can draw and if you, you can go to where behind the screen. That, I think, was a lucky guess.

And then listen to this part. Talk about the one-foot-tall man. And at the beginning, when you get there. We already figured out that that guy was normal size. No, there is a guy that looks small from far away. He looks small from far away. Sorry, I don't want to steamroll in you. He looks small from far away, and then he gets bigger, and he's 5'7".

And he gives you a small t-shirt, and I said, I'm a medium. And he goes, what did you say, fatty? Yeah. Okay, Sean just sent me a text that says, can you beer me now? He could say that. He could say that when he is calling he calls the bad guy he calls the bad guy on like a telephone and the bad guy's like hello and like his fist comes out with a beer like punch the guy, destroy. Right. And he could say that. Yes, I was thinking this,

and I was thinking, I know I was kind of against him driving, but if he does run someone over with his car, he could, like a bad guy, he could go, geez, he froze like a beer in the headlights. And then he could sort of sit on the guy's body and just drink a whole beer i love this i mean well he's the first hero that you want to hang out with you know what i mean but you didn't you didn't come up with this idea did you um no we did we came up with it we were walking around

this is walking around slam dance around slam dance in utah i said i got a crazy idea yeah he said i said you know how cartoons are for kids and then it went from there basically went from there yeah but that was that was it. This was Titus' idea. If he does get arrested for hitting the guy with his car, he could be tried before a jury of his beers. Yeah.

And of course, they're all on his side. That would be... I think you actually could do that. That would be so... Well, all the beers have different voices. I think you actually could do that like that would be so like well all the beers have different voices like Heineken's got an accent

you know I think that would actually be like Molson is like polite Natty Light is southern trash white trash of course I don't know about that I'm not loving that. Well, what about this?

Bud Light is Trump. Why? I think you hit a sore spot with him. No, I'm not. No, because Bud Light. No, no, no. I'm not sore. Say Trump is a good beer.

Right, guys? Say Trump's a good beer. Right, guys? Say Trump's a good beer. Say it. Trump, why? Say Trump's a good beer. Trump's a good beer? Yeah, say it. Trump's a good beer.

I don't like that. That's actually sounding kind of good. Right, gang? Yeah, so anyway, we were headed back from the theater and at this point we were with titus good beer blimp trump's a good beer blimp yeah good beer blimp okay flying around you were talking to titus no i want to hear this and then what happened well we were telling titus the idea. He was laughing. Okay.

So this is when he says that it was his idea, you're going to say that you told him on the way back from the theater at Slamdance. Yep. No, I mean, we were just telling him the idea. And he said, that's such a good idea. I'm going to tell people I thought of that. And we say, Titus, that's our idea. And he goes, don't do that. You're more successful than us and he goes okay i won't and he gave us that titus look

the trusting look i know it i know that look i don't yeah yeah and yeah that's kind of where we left off with him we high-fived. Well, that's the tightest touch. And he said, let me do a voice. And we said, sure. Well, of course you can do the voice of Angry Orchard. I don't know beer. Clay's more of the beer guy. I just draw, you know.

Was there, okay. You went to Slamdance? Yes, we went to Slamdance. No bullshit, guys? No bullshit? You went to S dance yes we went to slam dance we no bullshit guys no bullshit you went no i would never bullshit talk about talk about the the social at the end well the socials held at the camera cafe okay right yes everyone everyone they move all the tables you could know that but yes yeah sure yeah everyone kind of knows that but okay there's chairs there that you can sit They move all the tables to the side. Yes, sure. Everyone kind of knows that. There's chairs there that you can sit on and then tables that you can put stuff on top of.

Let me know if I misread it too much. I just said they push the tables to the side. There are still some tables left out there. There's an area there where you can put your coat if you don't want to be wearing it. Next to the tables and and then next to the tables and chairs and everybody there is so happy or no big time okay and what's the song that everyone sings at the end like like everyone at slam dance like gets together and like

so you're talking about you're talking about emi by Sex Festals. No, it's not EMI. Oh, no. Maybe he means I wish that I knew what... Yeah, that one. No. Wait. Oh, no. Oh, that's not it.

Oh, wait. I forgot. It's American Pie. Yes. Yes. Because that's also a movie that premiered at Slamdance dance we couldn't remember the word and everyone sings along everyone knows all the words yeah especially clay okay let's hear it

let me hear all the lyrics to american pie right now okay american pie you're about you're about to look like a damn fool yeah I'm going to stop grilling you. I went from Phoenix, Arizona. I went to Phoenix, Arizona, back down to Tacoma. And I went down to Arkansas. Went back to Arkansas. That's not even that song. That's not even that song. That's not even the song that it's not.

We're not finished. We're not finished. I think you're just like, you're kind of. All right, you get two more verses. If I don't start to recognize American Pie,

I'm going to get mighty upset. I went down to Arizona Down to the coma And I had American Pie Oh my, my, my Miss, Miss American Pie I gotta go to Phoenix, Arizona With me

My, my, Miss American Pie Don't go down to Phoenix, Arizona with me. My, my Miss American Pie. Don't go down to Tacoma if you want. They don't talk about Phoenix, Arizona at all in the song. Or Tacoma. Well, sorry. Our brains are not fully formed yet because we just got back from that altitude.

Woo! Okay. Alright, that's real. Everyone is very sick up there and like very when you get back you're very fucked up yeah part of your uh blood explodes when you when you first ascend so so that's what we're dealing y'all are used to it well i'm excited i i i'm interested in the movie it sounds like you um guys made it so So, like, you know, I hope one of our listeners checks it out and lets me know what the ending was.

I was completely fucking lost the whole time. I'm so excited about all this. This is great. I'm so excited that you guys are going to sit down and watch the movie and the thousands of people that listen to this are going to watch it. This is great. The Civil War dead.

Exactly. Thank you so much. This has been such a joy. Which is basically what the movie is about. What is it on? Slamdance.com. Ten bucks. Okay.

On your website, Clay, it says it's in post-production. Uh-huh. Well, that's IMDb Pro, and I don't know how to work it. Okay. Your website is not IMDb Pro. Oh, wait. My website. No, no. It is in the website. It does say post-production. Claytatum.com. Yeah. Well, technically, it still is in post-production because it hasn't been it's not it's not fully finished if i if i go to slamdancechannel.com it's on the front or like i have to like do other stuff there's gonna be there's probably gonna be a movie or two ahead in the featured films that's not the first movie okay so we're not first movie you're probably third on the website so and then if you go down further you're gonna have to do the alpha the uh the it's gonna be alphabetical so i'm looking at it so i have it

pulled up uh-huh it says it's not there it says it's not there it says civil dad's not here no it doesn't know the name of it it just says it's not there wait i said it's like what there's a film we don't know i'm looking at the fucking website i mean i'm just trying to figure out what i'm on the fucking website uh-huh kiss your mother it says it's not there uh-huh well i yeah sorry excuse me google maybe sorry excuse me what did you ask me clay i said you kiss your mother with that mouth because you cussed i'm curious how my mother's name actually ended up in your mouth i definitely would be happy to come over there and knock it out so that it wasn't crowding up your mouth anymore that name that you should basically never speak again I'm trying to help you

I'm on the fucking website it says it's not there it says they don't have it so you should probably be on the phone with whoever figuring out if you actually went to Slamdance maybe you would know

spell Slamdance spell Slamdance S-L-A-M Clay Slamdads maybe you would know. Spell Slamdads. Spell Slamdads. S-L-A-M Clay. There's D. D. There's the anarchy symbol next to the D. I can tell you that much.

And then the N. And then the C. And then N-C-E from the word Nancy. From Sid and Nancy. And then the poster of Sid and Nancy is right below it. yeah and then and the only and i n c e from the word nancy from sid and nancy that's right and then the poster of sid and nancy is right below it yeah no it's s l a m that was all correct d anarchy a that's correct but then it's n apostrophe s oh yeah maybe when y'all i mean maybe when you guys were in i think that each year they do different

things they do new stuff every year which is why they're great yeah okay so i think this year they spelt it with uh i actually just got my weekend watch guide from hbo max so i do have to go okay okay all right all right that was a hate gum podcast