Hollywood Handbook - Whitmer Thomas, Our Weapons Friend

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

The Boys welcome WHITMER THOMAS back on the show to talk about his experience making Weapons and his Letterboxd Four Favorites.Get a Hat Pack Hat here!Watch the video of today’s episode at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Hollywood Handbook via Gumball.fm See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Rocket Raccoon needs to buy stuff at the store, pay for things. What does he use? His tail. Oh, sorry. No. His tail? I'm just thinking about a raccoon, very prominent feature, right? They have a very bulbous tail.

But he wouldn't use that for, money. It's swipe it through the credit card machine. There's a, and he's in a, it's a science fiction sort of space world that he's in. Maybe there's a chip implanted the end of his tail. It's like our credit card chip.

Okay. Brushes that over the, I mean, is this a cool idea to you? But the currency, sure. Yeah, obviously, like he could still, he can use his tail. He could use a chip in his tail. The currency he would use would be rocket money.

The money is, yeah, the money's rocket money. It would be rocket money. He's rocket money. No, no, no, no, obviously. He uses rocket money. uses rocket money which shoots out of his tail it's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions and so he would probably have rock i don't want to use any of the brand names it would probably be something else crazy too or maybe theirs as normal ours go ahead our names for streaming platforms are kind of crazy and futuristic so ours sound like bzorb you know um chronomax Aronimex, perfect. So that's what ours are like.

So maybe theirs would be more normal words, and it would just be called like... Rocket. They'd be called like milk or something. Something normal. The streaming platform there would probably be called milk. But they think milk is crazy. Salt. Salt.

Well. Anyway, he would cancel. He's going on adventures for a long time. And so he's... Salt's a bad example. Can I try again? Yeah, sure. Yes.

Go ahead. Just one more, please. he's canceling a subscription to this where we're going to name it in a second because he's going on a long adventure to monitor his spending and help lower his bill so he can grow his saving don't you want to be like rocket raccoon

it shows you all your expenses in one place including subscriptions you forgot about tooth tooth that's even crazier than salt huh get alerts of your bills increase in price if there's unusual activity in your accounts if you're close to going over budget and even when you're doing a good job.

BUNS.com. BUNS. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million to cancel subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the apps premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to rocketmoney.com slash the boys. That's good.

That's rocketmoney.com slash the boys. RocketMoney.com slash the boys. Shitmer Sorry, Kevin just held up a cue card That's a Shitmer on it He texted me right when we started recording I usually don't look at my phone

But he did the notify anyway thing And it said Clitmer dumbass Clitmer dumbass He's never held up a cue card before No, that's not part of our normal routine here on the show. You know the routine. I ever tell you about the guy I worked with

when I was a custodian at an elementary school and this guy, Hal, would go. You know the routine. He said routine? Always hit Rue. Hey, you know the routine. What the hell?

We did it empty the trash cans, sweep the floors, then we breeze it easy for the rest of the day. Breeze it easy, he said, and you know the routine. How old was this guy? Oh, God, he was ageless. You want to know something that happened to me?

Talk about being friends. And this guy always talks about being friends with his buddy. Like, he's the only person that has ever been friends with anybody before. He brings up his buddies as if he's the only one with friends. I just love this friend and I have this buddy. It's like he's got a corner on being friends with a guy. It's like, well, I'm friends with a guy too. You don't love him as much.

Well, here's something that happened to me. That's probably true. At a friend's book reading What a nice thing to do To go to a book reading for a friend Our friend Aisha Who I used to work at a dry cleaner with And someone

And someone said What dry cleaner was it And I said jet cleaners And then I was on my way home And I remembered Oh that's not the dry cleaner I worked at That's the dry cleaner that Sean worked yeah still going all right that is 50 plus years you thought your life was Sean's life well that's

how good friends we are that's how good of friends we are how good of a friend clay is to me he would never do a book reading unless it was a book of a porno okay because he knows that's the only kind of book that you would read yeah me and all of our friends a book of a porno why did you want to do the show without him today y'all didn't you all because you all know what has what happened there. Yeah, what's going on? Because I was always a fan of Clay, and I thought the dynamic with the four of us was really enjoyable.

Clit-Tidum. Yeah. Kevin! Stop, Kev. Well, Kev emailed me privately and said, I know you've been having a good week. I'm going to take you down. This good week is really good.

I knew that, too, somehow. Everyone was talking about this good week. Because I posted three times on Instagram. Yeah. I guess that is. your week is really on fire i i i know that i know the show's been on for a while we see when you posted kevin we pull that out yeah i think you might i think actually is a best week ever i think i think quit dumbass what the fuck every might be having the best week ever yeah with uh

house sparks yeah yeah and there's some other guys in there but come on nobody they're all looking up at how sparks from spider man too Colton in a booed. Frican... Colton, clitin in a butt. What? L word or whatever. Ah, shit.

Okay, well, here's the first thing we see here's bikini babes on here. Okay. I sold out of those hats. I want to ask you, is this a conflict for you with shrimp hat being on the hat pack podcast? Is there an issue? This podcast is a different hat. Yeah. Okay, well, I was thinking...

Is this a conflict? No, it's not a con... Because I support hats in general. It was liked by Mary Beth Barone who wore our hat. Yeah. Does that upset y'all? Does that create a conflict? Doesn't create a conflict for me, brother.

I'm conflict-free. How I feel, more hats, more fun. So more people are wearing different styles of hats. Yeah, tell that to Bartholomew Cubbins. What was that? Tell Bartholomew Cubbins. Why don't you just go tell that to Bartholomew Cubbins? See what happens.

See how he reacts. Not going to be. be a great response. And why do you tell that to the caps for sale guy? Mm-hmm. Okay. More hats, more fun. Oh, yeah, they get stolen by a monkey. Yeah, even more monkeys than stealing it. And taunting him. Taunting him. Okay. Caps for sale. Imitating his every move. There's it for sale, not for steal monkeys. Yeah. Up in the tree. It's not even a tree that looks like it would have monkeys. It looks more like a maple tree or something. Winter time. There's barely any leaves on it.

is it's just not on him like I feel like some people read the book and they blame him for taking a nap under that tree and I go with all his hats on if you know anything about the environment that you would typically find those creatures in it's not something that he could have foreseen yeah I feel that

so you have hats with shrimp on them yeah oh yeah and these are dad hats huh when are you gonna make Dan hat can we get this in a dad So, you know, I agree with y'all. And that's exactly the voice I hear. Yeah. Whenever people say, I don't like a snapback type of trucker.

I'm that style of hat guy. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Snapback trucker, yeah. Yeah, but a lot of, you didn't have to point to his. There's one for you, isn't there? I know. And I got all my stuff in it, so I don't forget it.

Everyone has these squishy flat head tops. No, I know. I need the hard top because I got a tiny little peanut hit. Come on, man. I don't need fucking. You don't want me talking shit on myself? No, oh, God, I don't care about you. You could stop existing tomorrow.

It wouldn't affect me at all. Kevin. Kevin, watch you right now. Put the cue card down, man. I can't resist saying it when you show it to me, but geez, Louise, this is a friend of mine, dude. So Kevin's cue cart, I'm glad you stopped reading it. And he said, you could stop existing tomorrow.

It wouldn't affect me at all. Leave that ass behind though Which thankfully I was able to stop myself Before I read the entire cue card What do you mean Kevin? Leave that. Then he would stop existing but his But just his ass would

He would leave that behind Oh wait another cue card was covering up It says leave that ass behind Lil Ho Oh my gosh You just called Witt a Lil Ho? Jesus Christ You man

I don't want to do that This is a friend of mine, dude. Taking me down a million notches. Not as good of friends as he is with clay or was. I guess they're not friends anymore. Yeah, well, because we got to get into this clay stuff, man. Turned out he's a really bad guy. Okay.

You could kind of feel it. Yeah. It wasn't that deep below the surface, right? Yeah. No, yeah, it was always boiling under there. Well, because when we were kids, the first thing he said is in sixth grade when I met him he said first thing you need to know about me is I'm an anarchist uh-huh and I knew that right away something was going on with this guy I thought he just meant about government

stuff but he meant about all parts of his life so you were in weapons and I wonder if being in that movie and like seeing some of that behavior reminded you of someone that you knew in a way you're like it takes being outside like seeing it well it's seeing the way people are like you're going like so this person in the movie who's doing all this stuff is like this is one of this is scary this is people find this scary and it's bad that they do that right and they're going like oh yeah it's very bad it's very scary and you're like wow okay so i have not been treating this behavior like that with some of my relationships that i have really what it is and y'all are not far all at all is in weapons i'm a guy who's stuck on a couch

So right out of the gate, I'm doing my best, I'm doing Clay. By the way, aren't we all stuck on a couch? That's true. I mean, that's what I like about weapons. Some people say it's crazy. I go, it's actually totally sane. And look, and what are these, of course? What's this right here?

This is a frigging weapon. Weapons. A microphone's weapons. A microphone's weapon. They used to say the pen is mightier, but I actually think the mic is mightier now. Yeah. Because do you think about it? Not a lot of people are reading these days.

So the pen's actually kind of a fucking bitch. Yeah, the mic is mic here. The mic is mic here. A lot of people have been reading porn. Because they listen. Life with Mikey over here. Well, they still read porno. They still read porno.

But it's difficult to inject some of the messaging that is really going to like change people's, you know, thought processes and get them, you know, doing anarchy and evilness the way that you can with a mic microphone, which is mic ear. That's true. So here's a picture of you with a little kid. You're pointing at the camera. It says Picks by Mitra Juhari.

We know her, never taking a picture of me and her wife. Nope. Not even close. And you're pointing at her and saying that's who reads me porn of sometimes. That's my intern. And she reads me porn. So I'm curious. So in the movie and this is not a spoiler, but in the movie you play

a father. Yeah. And you came to us, shrimp hat in hand, and said, please, fellas, I'm way out of my fucking depth here. Nobody's going to buy it, right?

Like, they're not going to see me as a dad. You're both dads, awesome dads, I think you said. Yeah, you're both swaggy-ass dads. Fucking. I said you're both boss beans at being dead. That was the language. Boss beans was the language that was escaping me. I was trying

to remember. I knew that it was something I really liked. So you said we were both boss beans at being dads. And, you know, flattery will get you everywhere, my dear. And so I bit. And we did a pretty intensive training with you. Dad lessons. Yeah. when i watched the movie none of it except when you bit i try to bite i think i think that's what he yeah i mean that wasn't the dad part that was the flattery will get you everywhere part that wasn't part of being a dad when he tried to bite you yeah yeah well i took that and in the movie I asked Zach Greger

could I chase my boy around and try to bite him that's it and he said where did you get that idea and I said

it's just somewhere in the back of my mind I have them it's just something I feel compelled to do just allergic

to saying someone's name just like I didn't know if Sean wanted me to say Sean oh no why would he ever

want something like that why would we want Zach Craigger I wouldn't want Zach Regger to know by the way he's not smoking rags

just so you know it's too it's too c sounds Zach and then cragher I don't need to know that because the motherfucker never gonna call me the egg row Craig remember from yeah

being little boys I wanted to eat it why'd you want to eat that because it looked good it was like it doesn't look like any food you've ever seen really candy like if you licked it it it would taste sweet did Zach even ask about

me at all? He wouldn't stop asking about it. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, we talked about you so much to the point where I asked about the bite. It would have felt weird for the crew to hear. Are he talking about Sean again? Okay. Okay, that makes me feel a little better. So you're the dad? Yeah. Who's the mom in it? Callie, my friend, Callie Chatera. Were you friends before? No. No, we weren't. We met on Okay. You're friends now. Yeah, we are. So, yeah, but when you say my friend, it sounds like you were friends before, doesn't it?

Y'all are hung up on friends stuff. My friend was, my friend is in the movie with me, and it's like, well, you made friends during the movie. When you do press on it, you describe everyone as your friend. I do. When you talk about it. Yeah, they actually cast my friend Josh Brolin in it. Yeah. It's like, well, no, they cast Josh Brolin in it.

Then you tried to make friends with him. That's not how it works, bud. Not, dude. Jesus. Do you get any time with him? Yeah, we got some time. You said her name is Cadillac Catara? Yeah.

Well, no, not quite, but it's about as close as Zach Regger. So, I don't think he's smoking on regger stuff. I think the stuff he's smoking is actually, you know. Talk about those A little outside the norm. Interactions. Because you must have thought, like, this guy's going to be picking up what I'm putting back.

Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Zach? Josh. You're like, this guy is like a son of Hollywood royalty, but he kind of wants to be me. Let's be honest. Yeah.

He wants to be like a real. Well, I played it really cool. Come on, man. He knows I'm from the gutter of Alabama, a skate gutter. How does he know that? He could just feel it. Okay, yeah.

Okay. And you emailed him as well, yeah? I did. I told him right. Once the casting was it now? I said, I am from the gutters of Alabama. His email signature. Yeah, I read it. Well, yeah, so you know. I said, happy to be working with you, and that is my signature. It's a few more sentences, but.

And day one on in the trailer, he said, you ride? And I said, yeah. He said, you know, I grew up riding. He said, okay. he said it was a little before grinding but i've seen you grind and i said i was waiting for some sort of compliment right yeah you're pretty good at that he didn't even he he said he's seen it just nod i said he said i seen you grind and then he got him finish up his makeup got the makeup i was wondering it looked in the movie like he might be wearing makeup ah shit this is not a personal

attack. Maybe y'all can cut that out about the makeup stuff. That's not his face. He would not want people to know that. That's not his face. Did you know that? You could tell? Yeah, well, I've been in the business for a couple days. Yeah, let's just say. I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night, my friend. All right. So I've seen what goes on here. But I was wondering if he had makeup on. Yeah, well, a lot of people don't know that that's not even, his face at all yeah it's he looks like a different guy yeah normal life mm-hmm mm-hmm he looks kind of like Bob Balaban wow is it his hair nope yeah no he has dreadlocks oh Bob Balban with dreadlocks and y'all can cut this out

this is just for us mm-hmm yeah so yes every day they put a new head on him basically Bob Taliban mm-hmm y'all guys y'all always have to be edgy and i i tell you right in my emails please know edgy stuff you're in the mainstream now you're in a big box office smash you want to capitalize on that you don't want to be talking about bob taliban all the time you don't want to when you say that uh josh brolin that every day they put a new head on him you don't want us saying that you said you know with the success of this movie maybe every day they're going to put a new head on you and you got and that wasn't even from Kevin oh wait no it never mind he's holding it up yeah damn it Kevin you rat hollywood handbook

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash the boys, free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash the boys. Know that fizzy feeling you get when you read something really good, watch the movie everyone's been talking about, or catch the show that the internet can't get over. At the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast, we chase that feeling four times a week. We'll serve you recommendations and commentary on the buzziest movies, TV, music, and more. From lowbrow to highbrow to the stuff in between, catch the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast from NPR. So did you get to grind at all?

Did you get, you know? Did you all grind together, ultimately? Me and Josh, yeah, so there's a secret half pipe in the woods. There's a secret half pipe in the woods. the woods of georgia okay i like that it was just the woods the first time he said it yeah there's a secret half pipe in the woods of georgia that's really secret but now we know it's georgia yeah so now i will find it so every lunch break we would drive out there and uh josh wouldn't skate he just said let me see let me see yeah i like to watch yeah and i would i was scared to be honest because i wanted

to do good job for you know we're alone in the woods with this guy it's because he took his his movie head off yeah yeah and it's just his normal head yeah it's bizarre yeah it's anything but normal it sounds like dreadlock bob taliban that's you know that's unusual Bob Talman has a bald head on top, or is it just like dreadlocks like on the back and sides? Here's what's weird. Like predator? Yeah.

Is it like the predator? It's not, you would think, because he looks just like Bob bounded, but he's wearing a wig. That's a wig. So he takes off his brolin head and brolin hair that we know. Yeah. Then he looks normal.

Yeah. When he's bald on top, He does have the dreadlocks on the side. Uh-huh. And he puts on another wig because he's... To hide... To hide the dreadlocks on the side. No, no.

To hide the bald... Oh, so he puts just extra dreadlocks on top. So what's the... So... So there's basically a palette here that he's applying something to it. So what's... Is it like a Marge Simpson Beehive on the top with the... Like, what's the wig that it gets applied?

It's just like, you know, the singer... from counting crows yeah it's like that it's just he's not being crazy okay or he won't it's just to be normal just to fill out yeah the spots and he has money yeah so he can get a good one this year did you get any of it money yeah the money or the money the money yeah i made most of the so my deal with this movie is 50% wow wow so wow of your contract that you said. 50% gets paid to you and 50% they hold. That's not bad. That's pretty good.

That's a big chunk. See in the work. They showed me the number of what I'll get paid. Yeah. Standard pretty day rate. Mm-hmm. You said, and I want half. I want half. I want that other stuff to go to the movie. Yeah. Put it back again. I would like, I would like half of this to be on the screen, please. Yeah. And they said, they said we appreciate that. That would be, that's very helpful and i said and in exchange for that i want i want 50% of a gross they said 50% of the gross well or a lot of gross in this movie yeah jeez so you must have done pretty well no yeah he's unbelievably you wanted to be you wanted the movie to be 50% more gross and you got

your wish so i was thinking money obviously yeah but they were on y'all's page and so right when the movie comes out number one growing up they throw me they they mail me Throw up, blood, barf. Oh, my God. All the gross stuff that I saw in the movie. Guts, teeth, ass cheeks. Ass cheeks.

Exploding ass cheeks. Yeah. And I had a, you know, I didn't. It just two butt cheeks blown. Close up. That part of the movie, I was just like, it's totally unrelated. It's not a character who ever met before.

Just the camera just zooms in on an ass. cheek and then it just explodes from the inside yeah and I said okay is that is the ass cheek the weapon is the weapon inside of it like that really had me asking questions that I don't think we're answered in a satisfying way because it would be pretty powerful right if the regular Taliban not the Bob Taliban were able to actually make ass cheeks into bombs because let's face it yeah we got our faces pretty close to those things i was going to say and so we get well that would be that's really smart and i think that's going to explode like i'm going to have a tough time even if i know it's dangerous well imagine i'm

to have a tough time not put my face pretty close and maybe it's activated by by a face by like a nose, hot breath. My nose pressed on it. Imagine this. We build the bomb into the smoking hottest girl you've ever seen in your life's blood. We send her to the bad countries. Gosh. We're doing it to them.

With the bad war leader. What do I not want my enemy to do? Send over smoking hot girls' butt cheeks explode. The bomb is activated by me pressing my nose against it. Exactly. And she goes... So what do I do to them? You do that.

So what do I do to them? You do the same exact... Before they can do it. He was never going to get it. Before they can do it. You'd give him 100 million years. He would never have got that. No.

No. Why didn't you just say it? Why did you have to ask me? You could have just said, well, if that happens, then they'll do this. But instead, you've made it a quiz show and made me look like a fool of town. You can only make yourself look like a fool of town. I don't have that power over you. Did you know, Zach, before?

Were you friends before? You're just friends now. I met him in a movie theater lobby. Okay. Like two years ago. Okay. Outside what movie? We had seen Megan.

Cinema. With the little dancing Terminator. The dancing Terminator. And you said, I also do sketch And I also made a movie about a ghost Well no he He had seen that

He saw the movie about a ghost And he said You know what I liked that Oh he liked the movie He did Oh way to bury the lead Yeah

Zach liked the movie He liked it Everyone go see the ghost movie Yeah It's called friendly ghost or something No Ghost therapy in France Would have been nice then

to have some of the characters they like the movie and his movie. If he feels so strong, if he actually likes it. It's free to add one line. Have, like, the cop go, sorry I'm stressed out. I just watched Civil Dead. Civil Dead? The ending is weird. Alden Aaron Rick?

Yeah. Yeah. He's the main cop. He's my friend. He's my friend. He's an Aaron Ray. Oh, no, don't do that. What?

He's my friend. You guys hanging out off the set? Yeah. after after after you got home since yes sorry since sorry no that's my bad i said after we did hang out once you did hang out once with the with the group everyone getting back together just you too everyone just everyone okay literally everyone how about garner julie garner yeah hung out afterwards let me guess at that same outing sorry same place at the premier yeah you're talking about the The premiere is where you hung out with my friends.

And you didn't, and Mitra didn't even get a picture of it? No. Most of the pictures are you alone or with a little kid. Yeah. Seems like the little kid's the only one that remembered you, wanted to engage with you, was willing to be photographed with you, was too slow to get away from you. Yeah.

Right? We're like the duo on set. I know you're not catching Julia Garner. She's, because she's, she's probably there with Foster. the people yes all of them yeah she's there with foster the people yeah they and they run they got pumped up kicks right to it before i did they run faster than bullet like those weapons kids yeah yeah oh yeah yeah so we we were hanging out a lot that night you're hanging out a lot that night yeah talking do they ask you to do your four favorites well were you hanging out for like two full hours did you do your

Four favorites? Oh, my God. Litterboxed. Litterboxed. I didn't even think of this. Litterboxed. Did they ask you to do your four favorites? Not yet they did.

I'd not for this, no. They asked you to do a different time? Or a different movie. What movie? What movie was that for? For friendship. Oh, my God. He did his four favors for friendship and he didn't do it for weapons.

That's Bassack words. Yeah. I'm in friendship for about 44, four minutes. What'd you say? So let's... In all the cool movies. And I'm sitting on the couch with him. Crazy, man.

He wants to do my shit? Oh, my God. He's in all the cool movies? He's obsessed with my shit. This guy's freaking out about being near me. I am freaking out about it. That's crazy, man. Last night, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I was trying to think of different funny stuff I could do. Don't do that, man. I used to do that for this show. Yeah. I used to sit there and think about, what's funny stuff I can do and it never comes out the way you think well and then my intern came into the room Mitra yeah and yet remember that Disney commercial where the kid can't sleep and then they they go in the the little sister goes into his room or something yeah from

being little boys and uh she goes what's going on again I'm too excited to sleep that's what I kept saying last night because I was coming up with so many ideas for this this this This is your Disney world. Can we get your four favorites really lined up for what? Did you make it into the super cut? I feel like I would have seen it. So you get another cut at this. God, they ask you to do it.

You still have to walk up and be like, oh my God, this is right now I didn't prepare anything, even though you have already done it. So like you still feel like, oh shit, oh my God. And it was just one of the things where I was in a line. Damn, they made you do it, but they knew they weren't going to put you in the whole time. I could feel it. Was they just somebody next to you was doing it? And they were like, oh, and you too, of course. We want to hear about your movies.

Maybe two favorites. Hey, man. Maybe you could do two. Yeah, it was that exact situation. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Well, so that means. Can we see you standing off to the side and somebody else's favorites?

Maybe go look at Paul. Who was it? Who were you with? It was you and Paul. I'm like probably your friend Paul he's my buddy yeah we basically started together

we were hanging out right then we were hanging out all night right there talking about your four favorite movies yeah she's we just talk movies and stuff what's your four favorites yeah and then a friend of his I guess felt bad and asked me

so now wow yeah that's how I got that you go to the criterion closet it's fake it is fake as a truck or something right yeah they're pieces of shit they fucking are scum scum of the earth yeah unbelievable why are there so many if it's real why are there so many movies left in there exactly everyone's like leaving with the arm load

literally it's like oh i've seen 10,000 people walk in and take like 50 movies out and then every time i see the shelves they're full yeah yeah so uh math ain't mathing criterion closet they're probably making the small stars give them back you're going come on yeah you scratch my back guy scratch yours yeah we're gonna get we're gonna post a photo you yeah you're gonna have some people are gonna think you've seen movies before and they haven't seen those movies no i can't but let's talk about your four favorites because you do have to do one movie no one's ever seen one movie no one's ever seen one silly one that's very popular maybe people don't think is that good it's like air bud but you're like actually this is fucking good yeah

air but i gotta put that's like a good example that's actually a really good example of the kind of movie where it's like you do like a very sort of pretentious one that's like foreign or something and just go and no one's ever heard of it it's not even like a popular one like it's not even like felini or something it's like fawini yeah it's like some freaky name you've never heard and then you and then people go wow this guy's so deep cut i can't connect to him at all and then you do like kind of like a more recent like prestigey film okay that they go like okay i've heard of that one with this guy's still pretty fancy for me and then you go i'm just like you i like air bud i was one point i was a kid i was just watching this but you're it actually

is an amazing movie yeah you go i just have to it's my feel good movie i put it on and it's it's actually great like people don't you know appreciate what they were doing something that's like one of your friends movies yeah because you're like in the business yeah you know so many people that make you have one to spare and you're yeah so you go like oh yeah and i have to just like a beautiful film like that like i was really so but i was so proud to know you know whatever got a lot of friends apparently uh this person and i just like it was really an achievement by them so then it's like oh wow this dude's like in it in it like he's like working with but you do like yeah like honey don't or something

it'd be like my friend Ethan just made yeah honey don't yeah it doesn't sound like you're saying it as like one of your four favorites for okay so you want me to actually this may be why they didn't use yours well no we're just giving you this is the sort of template and then you're going to fill in with your own life do we practice you walking up yeah to the four favorites And they actually want me to do it. Yeah, and you're recognizing, like, what this is going to be, like, oh, God, oh, this is so much pressure. Do I know it? Because I know who it is because it's my old friend through Paul, my friend, because I met.

You know them. I don't know that you want to say that they burned the footage of your last one immediately after it was reported. I'm not sure that's going to, like, give you the clout you're looking for. In their mind, I'll be a new guy. They don't remember. Yes. You might get to do this four or five more time. You got a lot of bites at the apple, which is great because I don't think we're going to nail it.

Yeah. Okay. They're going to delete. You're going to see your words falling out of the microphone. They're not even going to have the bottom of the microphone on. All your movies are going to be falling out. The camera is going to start becoming invisible. like the people in the back-to-the-future photo

when his parents weren't going to meet, like it's going to start blinking out of existence. Yeah. They're going to burn the posters. You know, they usually put the little poster out there. The digital poster? Yeah, they're going to burn those. Wow.

Okay. Yeah. I'm ready. But that's, you know, that's exciting because it means we don't have to get it right. It wouldn't be the first time. We don't have to get it right, even probably the second or third time.

But let's at least get it. on the path to where we can actually kind of knock this one out. So you're walking up, you're seeing the little letterboxed logo on the mic. Heart's beating. Clipper! What's that?

Climber! In this reality... Hey, do you have a moment for litterbox? Let me get your four favorites. Oh, man. I was nervous you were going to be here. Yeah. No, you gotta do it. You have to be so much more

nervous than that. Okay, all right. You have to be like, no, fuck. Fuck. Oh, shit. No. The movies. Couldn't see me.

Oh, but I love so many more movies than that. Oh, God, I'm going to get raked over the fucking cold. They're going to get their pitchforks out and stab me with them. Can I do 400? Can I do my 400 favorite movies? Four is not enough. I want to do 400 favorite movies. I've seen them all.

I love them all. All right. Let me try it again. Climber. Climber, dumbass! Ah, sh! Hey, got him a second for a letterbox? Talk about your four favorites? Oh, God.

Damn it. Let me at least do four... Wait, how many? Say, say, four billion. Say what you're going to say. Can I do four billion? Yeah, you had it. You were heightening, yeah.

More like four billion movies. This is going to be so hard for me. I want to kill myself. Mm-hmm. Yeah. This is making me want to kill myself. God, I wish I could but I'll try God damn it

I wish I could kill myself alright let me try this it's so hard I just want to pop my head off they might be like you don't have to do it then but then you're like no no no okay no no no you want it

now I'm afraid I don't do it you're gonna go home you kill yourself but one of us gonna fucking die tonight I promise you that Say maybe you try This would be a memorable four favorites Yes Be like

Four favorites Okay let me just go home and do it and come back Yeah Can I just go home and do it and come back And just do it Oh here's a line Do I get a phone a friend That's good

Yeah that's good That's good Maybe I'll call Quentin Tino Yeah Speaking of movies And speaking of Quentin Tino in movies, actually. I got to put one of his on there. Yeah.

Pup fiction. Pup fiction. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Airbud. It's an airbud one. That's a big one. Yeah. It's like different dog stories throughout different timeline. Well, you would do, I think,

if you're going to do some, like, if you were going to do a Quentin Tarantino movie, I think actually you don't do Pulp Fiction. If I could say, Hayes, tell me if you agree. Absolutely. That you go like, you go like, death proof death proof is perfect

you go death proof has to be on there I'm a huge Tarantino and I think that one is slept on yeah you gotta say one that you think is slept on yeah death

and I know Kurt through Wyatt of course yeah like he just like him in that movie like you don't understand when Kurt looks into the camera I mean it's as if I am his next prey

and everyone else is like oh I thought that was like his ninth best movie but I guess it's not just one of his best movies it's one of the four best movies ever there's so much good car stuff and talking about it just makes me want to fucking kill myself

no because I think you should move away from that area I think once you have decided to do it we should move out of I don't think like in between movies you should be kind of returning to the idea that you want to

you know want to yeah yeah pop myself Hollywood Handbook Hollywood Handbook. What four movies did you do? For real. I think I did Robocop. Okay.

That's cool. It's cool. Dark night. The Dark Night. Robocop, the Dark Night. Well, that's famous about you. That's famous about you. Hey, telling them myself here.

I'm a fan. I've seen some of your stuff. This guy like you, the Dark Night is actually canned. I like that something's famous about it. me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. What other stuff is famous about me? What's the other two movies? Wait, no. Hey. Why don't you want to say? The other two are my own private Idaho.

Okay. What is that? Jaws agreeing with someone? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know, Jaws isn't making that sound at the movie. No, he is. He's really, he's seeing the boat and going, are you seeing those little legs flapping and going? His friend Stephen told him that it's Jaws making the sound.

Oh, my buddy, Steven. And then he goes, a lot. You don't hear that because it's underwater, but he makes the noise, the chomping noise. He goes, before he bites. Before he bites. And he licks his lips. You don't know that part because it's underwater.

If Jaws licks his lips, he'd lose. lose his tongue. Take a look at the actual geography of that creature's teeth. He's not licking his lips, which, by the way, don't exist. Sharks don't have lips. Do they have a tongue? They do. They got it because how hungry they get.

They've got to be able to push your body down into their gulet. So what's a lot, you did two kind of big action rock'em sockum movies. Yeah. That's, we can, we can have. one of those we can have one of those okay and then i don't think we can have two then you did my own private idaho that's good you should say but i'm not gay though yeah i think you're gonna want to make that pretty clear i say it's a movie about gay people which i was fascinated by which was really interesting yeah so i don't understand something i had never seen or thought about at all before

yeah you go those what those guys do is so interesting and strange to me and bray Yeah. Kevin, that's cool. Kevin just held up a cute car that said, My Own Privates, Udaho. Oh, Kevin. What the hell? Come on.

Makes no sense. No. I mean, you did call Witta Ho earlier. He called Wittahoe earlier, so that, yeah, is actually connecting for me. My own privates. Okay, and what was the last one? Silly one.

Silly one, it was... Freddy got a two. That could have been. Oh, Jim Carrey, yeah. What was it? I can't remember. I think I actually did the thing of a friend's movie. Oh, one of your buddies.

Which one do you think it was? Who'd you go for? Rap world? Rap world. Yeah, he needs it. I'm kind of in this community with some of these cool renegade artists, yeah. He's standing right over there. He is.

Yeah, he's standing next to me, I think. one of them one of those little fuckers a lot of people don't know those three guys are so small oh yeah yeah they said you could step on them if you wanted Connor O'Malley four seven this big wow little guy yeah no you get you you put on a big boot and hover it over his head that's a rap on his world yep yeah squoosh yep tiny guy little guy anyway then I would say do you think he would do the podcast people been saying they think he'd be a good guess he'd be amazing he would crush he would slay he would go off yeah he'd go off yeah but i think then i would say i should have said other movies

i wish i had four billion yeah and i'd suck it start sucking on the gun sucking the gun sucking the gun off. Just swobbering it. Yep. Beef style. Wow. Yeah. I'd say.

I have a fetish for the gun. Mm-hmm. I would say, Oh. Yep. Yep. Oh. Hoot?

Yeah, so that's probably how it go down for me. Bye. That was a hate gum podcast. I'm Tignotaro. I'm Mae Martin. And I'm Fortune Feemster. And together, we're handsome. What is handsome?

Well, it's a state of mind. It's how you feel. It's whatever you want it to be. Hansom is also a podcast hosted by us, three stand-up comedians you may have seen on your TV. We swap stories, share life updates, and occasionally laugh until we cry. Every episode, we answer a question from a celebrity friend.

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