Hollywood Handbook - William H. Macy, Our Close Friend

Episode Date: March 3, 2026

To kick off Try Month, The Boys help legendary actor WILLIAM H. MACY prepare for the AI future. Get a Hat Pack Hat here! Check out Sean and Hayes’s bonus shows at Patreon.com/HollywoodHandbook Listen on the iHeartRadio App!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We should dance. Mm-hmm. Okay. So we should dance. Okay. Okay. Do you want to start dancing or do you want me to start? I'm standing on.

Well, he's going to dance. I just... So Bill's dancing. Sorry. Hayes, what... Is there an issue? I feel awkward that he's... That he's dancing.

I think you're a pussy. I stood up and danced. Yeah. So I'm really to dance now. I would love to just clear the air. Yeah. And like, and not just like dance around it. Go ahead.

The mustache is kind of my thing. Has been for a little bit. And so like I'm willing to. You got mustache envy. I'm willing to assume good faith here and think that you grew a mustache to like come on this show. As a tribute to Hayes of sorts. And it makes me comfortable. But like I'm good.

Like I don't need that. Do your research. I've had this mustache forever. You're the imposter. I have seen you in movies. I am a fan. I am coming to this from a place of being a huge fan, and I know that you're lying.

And I'm coming from a totally neutral place. Do you use tape? Because if you do use mustache tape, you know, like skin tape. I'm never going to share that with you, but no. I want to just. Maybe off because of the skin tape I'm using. Come in totally neutral whenever I have a chance. I'll just come in from my mustache.

I like the whole thing. Well, I don't want to, I can't be exactly the same, but I also can't have nothing. You know what I mean? Just a nude lip. No, you actually can't. I've done it. It's not pretty, but you can do it. Okay.

He just said that he's had it. He's had the mustache forever, and now he's saying. Do you see what I'm talking about? He's admitting to us that he at one point didn't have it. But I obviously, I have an affection for Hayes. He's, you know, one of the hosts of the show, maybe the host of the show. Does he know? But he's a fan of you.

And so I don't want to weigh in too heavily on one side. of the other and I'm just going to kind of let the podcast play out and maybe fun for the audience at the end I'm going to pick who gets to keep the mustache and like and and we can do this right now if you want like we can get that like Kevin our producer has a shaving kit he's into like very old fashions like men's grooming I'm down what's the drop he's got the criteria he's got the test arm wrestling I think we um I think we just do acting that could be really good Yeah. You know?

That could be really powerful. I've been acting since the beginning of this. But that may give Hayes a little more of an advantage because he's coming fresh. Right. They've never seen me really turn it on. He's been saving. He's been keeping his powder dry for this moment. 30, 40 minutes?

We're going to see that. I mean, we can. If we want to do that, we can. Well, then you said we can solve this right now, but you didn't mean that. What you meant is it'll take some time. I mean, yeah. Do I need some time to like... Look, I'm doing this series.

Warm up a little bit of a thing. I'm sure they could explain why I didn't have a mustache. We'll worry about that later. Oh, you... Oh, God, the writers now. I mean, they can go up with anything. You know, it's... No, it's true.

They can fit anything in there. And there's the tape, you mentioned. The skin tape, yeah. The lip tape. Yeah. Yeah, no, I can. If it comes to that, I can do it. If you shaved it off and you felt stupid, as he said, you know,

with a naked lip. Right. Yeah. It's not, there's other stuff under there, so it wouldn't be like totally naked. There's other stuff that's like not skin, but like not hair. Not hair either. Things like that. It's not, it's a much more technical.

Scars. Then, um, scars from them trying to remove the other stuff. Got it. Um, and so now it's the scars and the other stuff. But there's a whole lot going on under there. Um, not a whole lot going on with us. Is there? No, in terms of the actual dynamic between us, it is feeling like we haven't found anything yet.

I love to reset. I love to hard reset this. This is our first time in the new studio. First time recording. By the time it's released, I can feel already this episode's probably going to be shelved for a rainy day a little bit, right? Sure.

Yeah. You could tell. No, I got up and took a shower and came all the way here. You better not shelve it. Okay, we'll see just timing-wise. You need this week. You have something you need to put on record.

You're doing promo? Yeah. Well, I think there's a thing of trust. Right. So, yeah, I'd like you to air it soon because I don't trust you guys. Okay. Let's establish some trust. I always like to back up.

This is just a normal way that we kind of launch you. I'm willing to back up. First off, do I call you Bill? You can, yes. Bill's here. Bill, how did you become a fan of Hollywood Handbook? Well, it was like, it's been now for maybe five, Yeah, I think five minutes ago, I read the thing in my phone of what you guys did, and I thought, I liked that.

Wow. Wow. Quite a journey you've been on, and are you finding that the real experience has lived up to what you read on your phone so far? I don't know, but I don't think that's a fair question, you know, because how often do experiences live up to what we thought they on our phones? Well, our phones are incredible now. Yes, that's right. I mean, the amount of things you can find in there, you're just never really good enough. No, I'm not talking about porn.

I'm talking about, you know. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. I definitely thought you were talking about porn. Yeah. No, that's getting better. Yeah.

And so you train dreams, the land, these are things you're doing right now. Part of the case that you're making is the phone experience is the one. For a movie like train dreams especially. Like, I hear about people wanting to watch it. Why isn't it on an eye mouth? still. Capture it's like the image on like because it's beautifully shot or whatever but like it's the phone it's meant to be watched on your phone. The phone's where we connect right I mean your mom's inside the phone or your loved ones are in there and why not also find some of the most

incredible cinematic achievements in that same place where we keep our loved ones and I think it's a really powerful statement and I think you're effectively declaring war on theaters and do you want to talk a little bit about why you think that experience should go away? You know,

no, not even a little. Yeah, and so he's keeping that for maybe another podcast. It goes without saying, I do have another podcast well, we've got time. Okay, great. That's awesome. That's awesome because we do have a couple more things. But keep throwing shit out there.

You're going to say something that we'll want to talk about. And that's always been, yeah, that's always been the goal of the show is to find one thing for the guests to engage on. We're not going to start, you know. Yeah. No. You're not going to immediately find a vein, you know. No, of course not. Zebra can't change its stripes.

Wait, is that true? I think they did find one. I thought I remember. I know what you're talking about. I remember seeing one that, like, chewed a certain type of gum. and its stripes were like... It became multicolour.

Yeah, I think of... Hypo colors. Yipes stripes. Yeah. Beach nuts got them. Yeah. Yeah. Stripes, beach nuts got them.

Yeah. Well, that's what the zebra... That's what the zebra said after. That was really a fictitious zebra, though. That wasn't real. They, I mean, but that is what they want you to think, Bill. There was a real zebra. All of this stuff, and you know this as an artist,

it all comes from somewhere, right? We don't... From whole cloth. just invent these ideas, you know, these people may not exist, but in a way they do. They're always inspired by something that we've encountered somewhere along our journeys in this. And so they commodify it and they turn it into this fictionalized thing. So then if you do see it, you won't trust your own eyes. Mm-hmm. Right. You know, like this is the master manipulation. They sell you the illusion. Right. I've lost the thread on what we're talking about, but you know.

Stripe gum. Yeah. Fruit stripes. No, no. I'm going back to the whole cloth. That's a real term. Right. It does exist.

He made it up from whole cloth. Oh, okay. You know this phrase? So I used it, but I have to admit I didn't know what I was saying. Oh, I should know that by now. Okay. Uh-huh. But you want to explain whole cloth?

I think you might be getting it wrong. I think that's not the correct phrase. He made it up out of whole cloth. Yeah, I think he mopped it up with a whole cloth. That's a different phrase, I'm pretty sure, but you could be right. Because, I mean, like, that's something that actually has relevance in our lives, right? That's true. It's something that's like coming up in our day-to-day, we're spilling, we're leaping.

To use whole cloth is a blank sheet of foolscap as sort of a surrogate is, That's manipulative. I'll try one. He ate it up like a whole moth. Right? You think about cloth, fabric, right? Any thought to it would work here. Right.

Well, that's what I'm finding. The average person eats 40, 50 moths a year. Yeah. When you're sleeping, you're eating a moth every hour. I think he meant that the moth has a big mouth. And that's why they call the storytelling series that. Big mouth. Yes.

Big mouth on Netflix. They're using it. The storytelling series, big mouth on Netflix. That's why they call it. it big mouth. Jesus. I see you looking at the door. Well, I'm in the wrong place.

I didn't know. I'm not supposed to be on Big Mouth. Oh, got it. So, us referring to Big Mouth does not mean that this is the show Big Mouth. We were just talking about, we were just referencing it. But it is a different show. And it actually is no longer being made. Okay.

So you're like. You're safe here. You're great. No one is supposed to be on Big Mouth because it is no way. longer in production. But we were talking about Moths, mouths. How did we get to radio mouths?

Radio, I don't remember that happening. Radio mouth, specifically, how did we get to that? I feel like we almost started with that. You should write that down. You should send out to David Byrne. He would love, he would love. Radio mouth. So David

Byrne, we're sending radio mouth. The talking heads and the radio mouth. That's good. get them. Let me write that down for David. Could you share that with me? Share the... His contact. You know that's something you need to get in touch with him about? Do you bump? Can I bump your phone with my phone?

Talk about a whole cloth. He's using a whole lot of it. His suit is like... This guy has a big jacket on. Right? I mean, talk about a whole cloth. Do you remember when they were talking about whole cloth before? Yeah. So like... David Burns' jacket is made of whole cloth. wealthy thinking. It's big. Oh yeah, he used the entire role.

So big jacket. You know, a lot of people think that, but I've seen a picture of him with no clothes on, and he's actually shaped exactly like that. Oh, he's big. He's, he's, he's, he's, he looks like a popsicle with a head on it. It's bizarre. Oh, so it's not the jacket. To him, that's just normal. It's, yeah. Wow. I was in a men's club, and I walked in on him, and there he was. Wow. No, no, he doesn't. A popsicle with a head on it. Yeah. I just have to work through this.

Well, you have to hold a popsicle upside down. So this stick is where the head would be. And it's like a funcicle. Yeah, the wide. The big shoulders, you know, going down. Depends on how much you've eaten. And if we could not just like pull back and unleash just a clean left hook on the equipment here, it's literally our first time.

It's our first time recording here and we just don't want to. In this studio. and we're getting used to the space. What do you think are you, this, like, we haven't had a table, really, in a long time. Are you a, um, you like to sit in a couch? Are you an above the waist or below the waist like performer? Oh, I'm not going to share that.

Okay. There's a couple things you are keeping just for yourself today, huh? Yeah. Well, I'm married and I have daughters and stuff like that. I mean, come on. And you can kind of. That kind of answers it for me, though. This guy's a below the waist performer.

And I'll say this. You don't get daughters being above. the waste performer. We can talk about this without saying that like it's you because I think you're, you are allowed to have some professional secrets, but there are a lot of actors in Hollywood who have their above the waist career and they're below the waist career. And they can appear in films, other types of media, only below the waist, under a different credit, it, make a little extra scratched that way, and also get to explore like other kinds of performing.

Well, yes, there are many that have that. Everyone. What you're talking about is pants. If you have no pants on, probably concentrate on the above the waist. Right. Unless, you know what I'm saying, then you want to go below the waist on that. A lot of, I know actors, I'll bet you there in your Rolodex who are. Yeah, and I have a lot of, I got a lot of numbers in there.

Some people can, some actors can go both ways. Right. And that's why like when you're doing a self-tape, like we don't self-tape anymore, obviously, but when you're doing a self-tape, they have to, they want you to do like a full body shot first. No, what are you going to do if you're only above the waist? Right, exactly. And then they can, at least it's all out in the open. Yeah.

If you don't have pants on, like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's better for them to know in advance so you don't show up on the day. You see, the process works. We don't like it. We don't like auditioning, but it works. Yeah, I hated self-tapping. And then I initially went to off-for-only and then I became defer only. Where I defer to them on who they want to cast.

This generally has not been me. But if they decide to use me, I have to defer to them at that point. Well, you're right about one thing. It's not your decision. Yeah. Yet. I like your Is that interesting

That's good Is that I thought that might Get your interest Right Am I Are you gonna Buy a Become a studio

Yeah Not buy it But just like work his way up Through the corporate ladder Yeah That's the plan Took a bit of a hit this week Because they did choose someone else

For Disney Yeah But He's more He's more of a theme part guy So he is gonna need To consult somebody Somebody is gonna have

Kind of their eye on the content. I know and who knows more about comic books and Mickey Mouse than you. You'd be hard pressed to find someone. Mickey, and this is interesting, and I

actually was hoping this would come up. What was I going to say? We were talking about, God, I remember when we went over this beforehand. It was supposed to be a little later in the show. You went over this show beforehand? We tried to rehearse the entire show

before we come in with the guest because... Oh, no. This was going to be... You were going to say, like, and Mickey Mouse, famously, doesn't wear pants, but... That's Donald Duck. We did.

In research, we realized that was Donald Duck. We had Kevin... So Mickey's above the way's performer. Donald's a below the way's performer. He's got buttons, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Those buttons come off. Real quick. Yeah. What are you thinking about? Olive oil. I was thinking about olive oil. Yeah. from Popeye's girlfriend.

So you're thinking about different sort of cartoon characters who can be sort of stimulating. Yes, yes, yes. She's fucking goofy. So you mean that she is... She's fucking goofy. She's fucking goofy the dog. Yeah.

Okay. It's common knowledge. Mm-hmm. You can kind of feel it. Goofy can feel it. I pray, I pray for goofy. Why is that? when Popeye finds out.

Oh. Or is he down? But, you know, he's in a different cartoon and it's a little bit like if he were in a different universe, you know, if there were parallel universes. I don't think you can get, you know, the little boxes that they put the car. I don't think you can get out of that box and into another box. So this is, I mean, this is the kind of stuff we like to talk about, right? Like, this is where we're really getting into it.

And finally, I love having someone on. I feel a philosophical. Actually get into this stuff with us because like to take the fucking training wheels off, well, people just, some people just want to skim along the surface. Yes. We're so often, honestly, and we've been doing the show for a little while now, we're having just the stupidest conversations

with these complete idiots who come in here. And when we heard that you were gonna be here today, we said, if Bill's open to it, let's get into the squares. Yes. And whether you can actually move from square to square. My brothers, I'm pleased to be here. I'm so flattered that you think I'm an adult. But yeah, I'm curious.

Well, we're all kids in the sandbox. Yeah. Yeah. No, I say, yeah, I'm not, am I an actor? Am I a writer? Am I a writer? And it's like, no, I'm a sandbox, you know, architect. And even really just a scooper.

And so the question is, if you are crossing into a parallel universe and there's a babe there and you smash. Is that cheating? If somebody just folds the newspaper in my comment, let's say on Beatle Bailey for the sake of argument, and somebody folds it up

and I end up smashing how about the horrible's wife. You know what I mean? You're raising a bigger question. I don't know if you realize this, but if you don't get caught did it happen? Oh, real. And I think there's a lot of evidence that it didn't happen.

Because are our memories even real? That's right. Is the color blue that we see the same as the color blue that everyone else sees? Like, how can we know? Can't know. Am I even awake? Am I even awake? No, you're not, you're not.

I don't seem to be, right? Yeah. And so that's why, like, in this situation, not that it has happened because it didn't happen. That's why the first thing you say after it's over is this did not happen. Right. That's pillow job. We just need to get that straight.

We not even get to the pillow before. We could rest after that. This never happened. But, you know, we can rest on science and on research and on facts. So I think you can assume it didn't happen. You don't have to be defensive and remind yourself. Right. say it out to the universe.

But you got to remind them. No, I think it's best if you deny everything and don't say anything. Let's face facts. It was in a different universe. It was in a different universe. What the fuck were they doing over there anyway? Yeah, that's right. And our bodies replenish every, you know, like five, ten seconds.

I mean, you think you know where she is in the daytime. Maybe you don't. Yes. I'm realizing this is sort of what. train dreams is about no right it's exactly that we never get tired of this old story if i i have a dream somebody running a train that that happened it's just a dream we know it happened once it was a book and then we made the film it was a book he wrote a book about it he saw that i think he didn't well you know what he made it up so did it it's a shame that he has gone because if i had one

question to ask him. Did you really dream that? Or did it happen? Or did it happen? Or did you see it for real? Did it make up the whole thing in a dream? Mm-hmm. Speaking of making up the whole thing, we love technology.

We love artificial intelligencing. We've been looking into the future. And this AI, I think it should stand for amazing innovation. Obviously it can never replace what you do, Bill. you're an artist, you're an actor, we need that, we need the people, they want that human element. Or it's at least like a good start, you know? Oh yeah, they can't, did I say never? It hasn't yet.

But in terms of a lot of the rest of the business, is it time to just embrace the future and go, the writing and stuff? Well, it's just words, man. I don't think a computer could come up with that. You know, they've proven you can't get a genie back in a bottle. Yeah, yeah. That research is kind of new when they finally said you can't. Yeah. So I think we might as well accept it.

You've worked. I mean, we've all worked. There's two things about AI that I don't like. One, it never makes a mistake. And that makes me suspicious. Oh, yeah. And two, it can't make a mistake. so they say.

So I think that kind of perfection in the world is not only dangerous. It's really two different things. Yeah, there were two things that bothered you. One was that it never makes a mistake and one was that it can't make a mistake. That's two different things. Okay. In what way? I hate to get bogged down in the difference between the two things.

Yeah. But just because you were so intentional about those being two things, like I would love to find some way to separate those ideas into two separate well you know if you were writing it you could put a backslash or a colon or something like that but I think we can figure it out math math

okay there's a mathematical there's gotta be okay there's gotta be AI can make a mistake yeah hold up your finger that's one okay okay okay AI cannot make a mistake too okay that's two peace to you.

Those feel like that's two things. Okay. So the math holes. You didn't say backslop. You changed what one of the things was, which is actually, that's your right. You know what I mean?

I still think we have rights in this country, actually. For now. I want to work with you, but I didn't think, I don't think I misspoke. I think I said it right. Didn't say you misspoke,

didn't say you misspoke, said it was your right. And you are right. To change one of them, you went from, initially the first one was AI can never make a mistake then it became AI can make a mistake yes that's what I said that's two things yeah which is which by the way hey man I believe in science uh you know yeah you're gonna have a tough time you're gonna have a tough time

yes and this is a little bit of the science doesn't care about your feelings this is kind of like the problem with working with writers yeah right is like the language that's coming in is like it's never quite there. You know what I mean? That's something we've been discussing a lot. We've all worked with Jojo and EZE and those guys, like their brothers. They have their rhythms, but that also means they share the same genetic problems, you know? And they're bringing you a scene.

Not the best people to be, you know, providing one another with checks and balances because they have the same genetic failings. You know? Well, on shameless. We did two things. We kept the writers and we got them all therapists. And that sort of held it together and the scripts kept coming. Yeah.

You know, sometimes a therapist would go on vacation and wacky shit would have. I feel that in the script. You in the cast? Me and the cast. Secured therapists for all the writers. The way you might bring in a coffee truck one day, you had 24-hour therapist for the writers. It's kind of what a writer is. It's like a coffee truck.

You can have a good one. Yes. And you can have some where the coffee is so weak. Right. It could beat the shit out of an egg. Mm-hmm. So. Yeah.

Or that it couldn't. Yeah. Maybe even weaker than that where it couldn't beat the egg. You said two things. Well, yeah. I guess I, yeah, I guess I can't contradict myself. It's just the idea of weak coffee being able to. That the weak coffee is winning a fight.

that that's how weak it is against a solid No, no, no. Against an egg. I said it couldn't beat it. Yeah. Which is what?

It could beat up an egg. You know what? I had the right to say either. Yes. Oh, you said that. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

As a citizen, anyway, you can definitely do that. What are we talking about? We're talking about A. We have sides. And we have some sides here that we wanted to go.

I mean, you're an actor. Jesus Christ, I'm telling you what we got. I, it's a matter of pride. I don't. Don't use sides. I know the lines when I get there. Really? Oh, incredible. You know. Incredible for us because I don't think we have

enough copies. There's a piece of paper on my back pocket that's all folded up so no one can say, but that's not the lines. I mean, it just looks like that. That's, we were talking about meditation. Yeah. I cannot remember the phrase I'm supposed to say. That's all that is. It's not my lines. Yeah. I knew this about you. And I wanted to hear. you say it. You're a pro. You're off book on every single script you've ever shot permanently. And I know you can display that right now. Mr. Lundegarde, sorry to bother you again. Can I come in? Yeah. Yeah, I was. Yeah. You bet you. I understand. I'll keep it real short then. I'm on my way out of town, but I was wondering,

Do you mind if I sit down? I'm carrying a bit of a load here. Well, you know, I'm already sitting, so you want to sit too. Okay, yeah, sure, real good. It's really close. It's really close. It's basically perfect. That's about right.

Yeah, it's just this vehicle I asked you about yesterday. I was just wondering. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to do a lot count. That was perfect. The pause was perfect. Okay. You are completely off book on this scene. But this is like, this is what we're talking about.

This is, I mean, this is a jojo scene, by the way. You can tell just from hearing it. Oh, you can feel it. You can feel it. That he was perhaps in his cups when he wrote this. Should we improve on this scene with the help of the smartest computer in the entire world? Most powerful technology to ever exist in the history of the universe. Wait, are these lines you're telling me or are you posing a real question?

Well, well. Oh, sorry. Are we still reading the script? Is that what you're asking? Is that we're talking right now? Yes. No. Okay.

Let me put this down. I'm out of the scene now. Sorry. Sorry. We're back to discussing. That was very sudden. I don't want to pull you out of it too quickly. That scene, you were good.

You were making lemonade, I'll say, with some subpar material. Have you lost faith in your sides? Is that what's happening? No, we were flipping them over because we didn't want you to think that we were still reading the scene. So is there like a halfway version that, like, can show we. we still have faith in them? No, I understand. Okay.

So I just put them down so that we could talk without you being Mr. Lundegarde. And we could discuss the idea that, sure, that scene was good. It was fine. You were doing a lot of the work. Camera was doing a lot of work in the movie. Could the script have been so good that would have made your job a little easier? And the answer is yes. And I think we've actually done that through the use of this incredible

AI technology. And we were able to take the first draft, which was a decent first draft, and turn into actually a finished product. Okay, so you took AI and then you judged it a bit. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Would you like to do a scene where we like play this? I'd love to see that. Okay. Mm-hmm. Should I give him the like the good version?

Yeah, give me your best shot. You want, wait, what do you want me to do? I just thought you might want a chance to, like, I got to be in the scene that time. I thought, like, in case you wanted to, like, we're partners, we like to make space for each other. And, like, sometimes we get mad if one of us is getting to be, like, the star. You know what I mean? Does somebody have a better role than the other person in this scene you're about to do? That's a good question.

Oh, so we're saying that, like, should, I mean, is he saying, like, you? you and I just do it and we just leave him out of it. That's interesting. You know? You know there are no small actors, only small parts. Right. Mm-hmm. Hold on.

Some of them are pretty small. The way I do it, I get pretty small. Mm-hmm. Okay. When I'm acting, I essentially disappear. Mm-hmm. It's so small. And that's why, like, he can have been in so many incredible projects.

Oh, my God. Wait, you literally disappear. Yeah. It's tough to find me. It's kind of a game for the audience to play of like, Holy moly, you could be in two plays next door to each other if you just. Yeah. Yeah.

The costume changes and like that can be sort of complicated. That's technique, brother. Well, I appreciate that. And I've been waiting to be recognized for how difficult it is to recognize me. Would you like to be Bill? Would you like to play Bill's character in this scene? Oh, I don't know. I mean...

Oh, come on. I guess it's a... Oh, come on. You can do it. Oh, it's just a dream come true. Yeah. Okay. Just be loose. Have fun with it. Okay. Marge.

Sir, sorry to bother you again. Can I come in? No, I'm little. I'm little. I'm little busy. Marks. I understand. So, to summarize, I'm leaving town, but wondering if I should stay? I'm carrying luggage here. No

Marge Yes the same car I asked about yesterday I'm wondering to you Yes We don't have car Marge That's good Are you sure because I mean

How do you know Since it was my crime The detectives left with the plate And I called the people who work here So if they don't connect It could be random I see Marge

So how have you been making lists lately We don't have a car sir AI did that Yes Yes No, don't let the Cohen brothers hear that. It would break their hearts. That's really good.

That's tough already, right? If anything, I would tell, you could tell Easy E, and then he can tell Jojo, you know? Okay. I'm asking you, could we keep this under our heads? I'm not a fan of AI, but that was a brilliant scene. Do you think they're not going to hear the episode, though? I mean, that's the issue. Not that many people are going to be listening.

this one. Yeah. I think... They said I was pretty safe to do it because it's such a small audience. I think... Some implied I could call them all and like directly apologizing. Wait, are you willing to do that? You're willing to call every one of our listeners?

No, no, no, no. Just that it's available to you. Just saying, you know, one could. Okay. I'm not. Yeah. I'm not worried. No one's going to hear this. Maybe what if you just said... That's why I said fuck a couple of times. what if you just said something like

hey I know you thought you were listening to the podcast a second ago but this is actually me calling you during the podcast I don't have time to talk right now you know what I mean so the listener thinks

that they did actually just receive a call from you during the ask everybody to do this thing you know where you put your on the phone and your pinky finger that's helpful for you as an actor no it might be helpful for the people to think that they're on the phone.

Oh, they're not that stupid. I'm being crazy. One of them is. Yeah. Some of them are actually stupider. They're so stupid they wouldn't be able to make that shape with their hands. At least not on command. They probably accidentally done it.

Yeah. I think we should go for it. Hello, it's William H. Macy. I just wanted to call you up and apologize for that podcast. I was ill-informed by my handlers. I'm very, very sorry. yeah goodbye yeah the hanging up sound was more

squishy than I would have expected right because it was sopping I think it was a dry click normally but they've got they've perhaps got an underwater phone or shit you guys are tough hello this is William H. Macy

I wanted to apologize for being on that dumbass podcast I'm gonna hang up now it's better Come on. Better. Oh, my God. And we're not going to get all the wetness out, so I'm realizing that. No, of course, you're using your mouth.

It was much drier for sure. It was humid. Just that it was only one click this time and not a series of slurps. Okay. And that's it. We got it. Even if half of them don't believe it. It's, you know, I've done it enough good.

I love to talk about these fucking handlers. Like, my handlers are being. so mean to me lately. They don't let me eat the stuff I want to eat. They don't let me play with the toys I want to play with. Oh, bedtime's getting earlier and earlier. Yes, they think I don't notice that the sun is still up. It's time for me to go to bed. Man, I don't know what to tell you, except sooner or later you got to stand up. Okay. You put it off. You've been there. Just it's going to be later but it will happen you got to stand up i'm staying up till 10 and give me the duck i want it doesn't matter what you think about yeah stand up for yourself it was the duck for me too

what is it about that they don't want us to have that duck huh that's just for the tub why i know this squeaky fell out of mine i still loved it yeah i really did that's not about the sound for me it's about the companionship yeah i don't feel clean if I don't have the duck. Can I ask you a question about the land on... And it's on... Hulu on FX. We'll be watching it on...

On... Hulu. Hulu. I should have stopped you there. No, no, no, no. Yeah, please, please. Hulu. Hulu.

Their decision, you and the show are the owner of the Cleveland Browns. Mm-hmm. what do you think of their decision to have you actually have legitimate decision-making power over the real-life Cleveland Browns franchise for the last seven years going into, in order to prepare for the series? Sort of a method preparation you've been. Do you feel like that worked out from an acting perspective, from a football perspective?

Because I know there's been some second-guessing on allowing you. you to actually have complete and total team control for such a long time. Well, I hear you. I floated the idea. That's the all I can do to say, let me run the Cleveland Browns for a while. Yeah. Then I'll know, right? Because reality is better than fiction.

It's just, you know, because you know why? It's real. Yeah. The word comes from real. Wow. But no. Actors, you know, they don't, the actors are kind of low people on the totem pole. I know that's shocking to say, but it's true.

And so, but it was your idea to run the Cleveland Browns. And did you say that as sort of like a threat? Like you wouldn't do it unless you got control of the team? No, with great humility. I said, let me just sit in the front office. And you know, it doesn't have, I think I said a week, but. Of course, they could have countered. But at some point, it's just normal that you're in there, you know.

Yeah. And then it would seem, I'm pretty good at what I do. I think I would be invisible and very small by the end of the time. Yeah. And I get small as well. Yeah. And humility comes from the fruit. You know, when you said that, I didn't realize it.

I do it too. Oh, you do it too. Yeah, I can think of a lot of roles I've done where I was a lot smaller at the end of the film than I, than when I started. Oh, okay. How many minutes is the show? The land. How many minutes?

I don't know. It takes thousands. That's all I know. Filming, it just feels like so many minutes. And then sometimes you watch these things. I don't think they're going to use. Bose if it's not in here. And they usually don't use all of that.

Right. This was a month, you know, months of my life. And you were talking about, only an hour. You were talking about roles that you've done. I don't know if you wanted to sort of like talk about your career and things like that. I think we want to focus on this. people actually want to hear, you know, just like how many minutes is the show? Well, let's not bore them.

You know, like, let's actually get down to business here. Well, a lot of the stuff, a lot of the roles they can just see if they want to find the movie or whatever. I said everything. But how many minutes I don't know, I don't know if they can get that anymore else. AI could tell you pretty quickly. It's scary, man. It's scary how good that stuff is getting. They're getting so good at the number of minutes.

They're getting really close. They're getting close. It has the same numbers in it sometimes. No. What does? The answer that they give when you say how many minutes is this show. Sometimes the answer that they give back. To within a fraction of an hour.

It has the same, even the same number of digits. Are you saying to me with a straight face, sometimes AI can be right and sometimes it can be wrong? Didn't we cover that? And what was all that? There were two things he didn't like about it, Hayes. Right. There were two things.

And now you bring it up blithely. I did. So I'm editing the show. I'm editing the show in my head as we go. Okay. Well, I'm experiencing the show as a listener. That part has been cut.

If you keep the part in where you say it, I'm asking you to keep my rebuttal in. I'm going to keep some of the different parts. I'm thinking about stuff I'm going to add in later. Yeah, we're going to be doing a lot of that. Plenty. With ADR on this one, yeah.

Yeah. You're going to do AI and they're going to have me. me saying curse words. Yeah, we're going to be able to... We're going to be able to work that in. You know. And cutting us into Woody Creek distillery as well. I'm asking about my handlers.

I can say with some authority, the term is now handler. We've just noticed that your distillery, Woody Creek does not have a signature podcast. there is no podcast flavored. There's no offering. There's no podcast partnership really whatsoever that we've been able to detect. God, you're right. That's, again, that microphone taste.

You know what I mean? Because this isn't, look, not just this show, but a lot of these shows, it's big business now. We should have a podcast, a regular podcast. The Woody Creek podcast. What, and go through. Creekcast. What's the portfolio? that you offer right now from Woody Creek?

We have everything except rum and tequila. And podcasts. But now you have a podcast. Now you have a podcast. Well, yeah, to do it, we just made it up. We just did it. Is that all you have to do? This is.

I could just come back in here and start talking anytime. Yeah, we're going to have, we'll probably have to put a banner or something. But other than that, this is now the Woody Creek podcast. Let's face it. I mean, we've already got wood in the name of the show. What would the banner? say. Hi, Bill. Welcome back. Happy birthday. I mean, whatever. We moved the banner around. It's radio, man. What are you talking about? Yeah, but don't you feel more comfortable when you kind of look up and go, oh, somebody was

thinking about me? Well, it's what they feel, not what we feel. Wow, generous. A's, did you hear that? That's for you. That's the way I roll. That's for you, the listener. He's doing it for the audience. This was all for you. I've lost track. I've been in the woods. You just brought me back. God damn, I get so wrapped up in my own stuff making this show. Don't you? It's not about how I feel. It's about how they feel.

Wow. And it's good when you have a guess because me and your audience, we share something, which is we don't care whether you like it or not. Yeah. Yeah. Or you actively sometimes don't want me to enjoy it. Right. Yeah, sometimes we, but we have that bond.

I do care about my point. I find between the guests in your audience against you guys. It's, well, it's part of what makes the whole thing work. That common enemy, yeah. I think I actually owe the audience an apology. And I've gotten a little lesson in how to do it from my friend here. He's got his hand up with the little finger in front of his mouth. And it's radio, you dumb.

Anyway, go ahead. Hey, audience, this is Sean. I'm here. Bill just taught me a pretty valuable lesson, and I just wanted to say sorry, and from now on I'm going to have your experience in mind a little bit more. I wasn't that wet. He just hung up.

I wasn't that wet. Come on. He hung up. The show's over. The show's over. Bye. Bye. That was sloppy wet.

That was like disgustingly wet. I agree to disagree on this one, Bill. And by the way, I did just hang up. So, bye. Bye.