Hollywood Handbook - Yassir Lester, Our Emmys Friend

Episode Date: September 8, 2020

YASSIR LESTER returns to help The Boys produce the Emmys. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. I just say what like how do we shake it up? What? Go ahead. Yeah, I can say whatever you want. I just say anything to me. Literally say anything to me and I will respond with kindness and with acceptance. I love how much stuff you do at night. So we're always sharing stories. And I just love like how much of the like the big events in your life are happening in these tiny little hours of the night. The tiniest, oh, these tiny little hours. And obviously you can say that to me and you did say that to me

and let me respond with kindness, love and acceptance. Thank you for saying that. I think it's so important to discover what your peak creative time is. Yes. And for me, it's the teensiest discover what your peak creative time is. Yes. And for me, it's the, we,

it's the teensiest. We, we little hours. It's the ones. Four is too big. Three is even too big. It's two. It's really just two.

So I, you know, mine is no, sorry. Did that make you mad no i had to really think because i thought honestly i'm mad at myself i go i should know what haze's is here he is my creative partner i'm responding to everything he says with kindness and acceptance oh but i'll tell you mine is blunch blunch yeah blunch so

people say brunt you brunch surely you mean brunch mine is a little later than brunch brunch right after brunch

it's basically lunch when they close the brunch menu down, you immediately are seated. Yes. But it's too early for it to really be lunch. It's like 11.45 a.m.

It's like, well, this is pretty early for lunch. But it's... Well, so yours is brunch. So whatever. I mean, I was going to tell a little story, but we really don't have to do that. Whatever. Who fucking gives a shit? Who fucking cares?

Who fucking cares? What the fuck is the show? You know, I was going to tell a story about the things I was doing in the wee hours. It doesn't matter. You know, what matters is I'm here. I'm with you. I'm seeing you. I'm accepting you.

I see you. Oh, my God. Thank you. We've seen each other and we're seeing a big guest aren't we yes and I love to see this man and I look on him with kindness

and love and acceptance and gratitude and love yasser yeah I'll talk to you later bye what's up guys so that so that phone call how is it that we only heard oh the very very oh yeah i mean that makes sense but i do you guys have rolling office chairs it

feels like you don't it feels like you're pretty stationary no i'm actually well if you'd like uh it feels like you don't it feels like you're pretty stationary no i'm actually well if you'd like uh i know see that's that's more of a lean you're leaning you see again i don't have the space for it to go very far okay but if this is what makes you comfortable rolling off his chair coming up no no it's more about the deflection because like you're busy, I'm on six TV shows, when you're busy, you don't have time. It's not always about standing up. Does that make sense? A lot of people are like, I got to get to here. They stand up and they go there.

And it's like, what about Roland? I love this topic, but you're blowing by something that's really interesting to me talk about being on 60 v shows and for people who don't know v shows are that's this is live footage of someone losing their virginity yeah so it's when somebody cashes in their v card that's a v V show. And you've been on 60 V shows. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And thanks for bringing that up. So not a lot of guys are a virgin multiple times.

And see, that's where it gets tricky. Because people think it's me deflowering. And it's like, no, no. I'm the virgin. Yeah. Every time. 60 60 six times in one episode you guys are right you're jumping ahead um sorry and also there's some unaired episodes uh so what like when i come in there it's like i'm qu I'm crying, I'm covered in flop sweat. And people are like, it feels like you've done this before.

And I'm just like, never. I've never done it like this before. Not even close. You know? And that's one of the reasons why I have the rolling chairs. I need to save my legs for the V shows. And that lasts for your virginity being gone gone lasts for like how long until it comes back uh and it's it's like a and i like i don't want to get into the science of it because

there is like a wolverine sort of regenerative thing that happens but emotionally i don't know like a few hours it's like because here's the thing people don't think, like a few hours. It's like, cause here's the thing. People don't think about this. It's back to back to back. You know what I mean? Like it is, you're not. And that's another thing. I wasn't thinking about it, but yeah. Like, as we all know, when we all lost our virginity, it's like, you lose it. You go out there, you get some Gatorade, you come back in, you, you handle it again.

You know? in you you handle it again you know and like for someone like me like again like i i wipe off that sweat i look them in their eyes and that's the other thing is that like you have you you're you're moving between genders you know because you can't just you can't you know so oh god of course you know i've lost it is different the same gender different genders they've lost it as different like you know you really you got a hit in ways that you never thought possible and so like i you know i i get in my rolling chair i roll from set one to set two and it's you know it's usually a bedroom to a kitchen to a living room to a deck. It's a series of cubicles that are – okay, yeah. Okay, all right.

A gurneyed hospital room, and you just go from curtained room to curtained room to curtain room. And they're just laid up, laid up. I slide out the rolling chair, do my thing. I put those little hospital bed uh metal guards down and then i just roll out roll in roll out back in the first yeah i like i i mean this sincerely i haven't walked longer than 12 steps in maybe 13 years wow those numbers are so close together i know but here's the thing it's just like had you asked me last year, it would have been a bigger, yeah,

it would have been the same. And then next year it'll be bigger and bigger and bigger. Yeah, sir. We are not here to talk about you losing your virginity every day. Multiple times. We are here to talk about first. We're here to say hi to Jordan.

Hello, Jordan. And she's like, when are they going to say hi to me? hello jordan and she's like when are they gonna say hi to me no one's saying hi to me hi everyone hi yasser do you like me do you like music oh god here's the thing i gotta be honest like i i love the way music moves people It's not for me. Like I like breakfast. Great. Okay. Breakfast, lunch and fucking dinner. Right. Yeah. You know, people are like, have you heard this song? I'm like, oh my God. Like I, this waffle, like I'm that I'm moved by waffles. Like I know some people are like, you know, like the, the truest way to

protest is like, like let music move through you and get out there. And like, like people like bang drums at protests. Like I come and I'll just have like a styrofoam container and I open that up and there'll be a bagel with some locks. And it's like, I'm like, this is this, this also gets you through it. Well, and my thing too, is like, I I'm, I'm similar to you and I'll's like, I'm like, this is this, this also gets you through it. Well, and my thing too, is like, I'm, I'm similar to you. And I'll say like, I'm a big, for example, I'll be like, Oh, I'm a big fan of Drake and people assume that I'm listening to his music. I've never heard of a word. I'm a fan of the French toast that he makes. Yes.

He makes a crunchy French toast and it's dipped in cornflakes. Yes. Because he's canadian and he has so much influence yes yes it's right there i mean france is part of it's in the bones of canada you know well you know they're always um it's like a going back and forth thing like they pop on over like canadians are always in france and and french people are always in canada they're just popping back and forth oh it's it's incestuous yeah it's highly incestuous so jordan today yeah you do not have a ba in vocal performance out of respect for our friend yasser and like preaching him uh like approaching him with love and gratitude you have a ba in breakfast studies from breakfast academy which is what BA stands for today.

The BA stands for breakfast Academy, please. This is perfect. Cause my favorite food is breakfast food. That's not a favorite food. Okay. Why is quite can't it be a favorite food? A favorite food is not breakfast food.

A category of favorite foods. That's right. Yeah. Okay. And like, here's the thing Jordan and I know you're coming in on a pretty aggressive note but and you're a woman so can you name 12 breakfast foods right now and like try

to impress men bacon waffles pancakes Try to impress men. Bacon. Waffles. Pancakes. Start it off real strong. You kind of saw waffles from Yasser, but I'll give it to you. Orange juice.

Okay. Toast. Butter. Less food. Okay. Syrup. Okay. It's getting really dicey

really fast. It feels like you're going to move into a carbonara space pretty soon. I thought he sort of gave you a bit of a meatball right over the ham. Ham ambiguous, but it counts.

Grits. Grits, yes. Hash browns. i gave you 13 he doesn't say well that needs to make up for the fact that you said orange juice syrup and powdered sugar when do you drink orange juice literally any time that's but yeah but that was actually a test that yasser did jordan which is you never when men ask you to name 12 breakfast foods you gotta do it well i i was oh right right i'm with hayes i was gonna say the same thing you're saying hayes say i was gonna say then that's what yasser was gonna say i mean do it but then leave you have to drop that guy that guy does it like he's not the kind of guy that will support you i can't be friends with yasser anymore uh uh this was a test yeah and even when he said right after that it wasn't a test in that in that way it actually was and so now you know sure rattle

off the 12 breakfast foods, but then. Then I got to go. Yeah, you got to walk. You can be friends with him because he's, I mean, this isn't a real life scenario. This is a test scenario. Right, right. You're at Breakfast Academy right now. Right.

Okay, got it. Do I need to know anything else at Breakfast Academy? Because I didn't know I got to leave. You have to leave in the sense that we want you to find someone better. You know? And can I say something real quick? It feels like someone who's like pretty deep in Breakfast Academy to just orange juice. Again, just feels like what are they teaching?

I love orange juice, though. We all love orange juice though we all love orange juice we all love it i can't believe we're talking about this still can we move on but i would say like this goes back to the question of what's your favorite food if you responded orange juice that would be wrong right right or if you responded powdered sugar for example that would also be wrong or syrup that would have fucked me up so if you said powdered sugar that would fuck me up your answer is and then again you're going to be leaving right after this but your answer is as you named the 12 breakfast foods each of them has to be an answer to the question what's your favorite food a possible answer and again the the answer breakfast food uh your answer to what's your favorite food? A possible answer. Again, the answer, breakfast food. Your answer to what's your

favorite food can't have the word food in it. Right. You need to think about that for real before the next test. I don't mean to quibble. Angel food cake. It can be in the middle. It can't end

with food. It can't end with food. Angel food cake. It can be in the middle. It can't end in food. It can't end with food. That's right. Right. Yeah. Dog food, I guess. If your favorite food is dog food, you can have food at the end. If that's really your favorite food.

Okay. That's the honor, Kevin. Do better. Yeah. And now name five breakfast foods for dogs. Dog food. Are you asking me or are you telling me? How about this, Jordan?

I'm going to give you one right now. It's called eggs. It's called ham. You give your dog all that? yeah yeah it's called chocolate it's called chocolate covered onions it's called grapes it's called chocolate and grapes that's how you get them to eat their onions, okay? You give them the chocolate first, and then you ram an onion down their throat. This is a really weird

class in the Breakfast Academy. Yeah. Well, I mean, this is what you pay for online stuff, you know? Look, it's... Welcome to the future. Yeah. And it feels weird that, yes, technically we're sponsored by Harvard. But we're innovators.

Breakfast Academy had a huge outbreak and had to go online only. 100% of the instructors at Breakfast Academy. Well, because they kept putting... Word did test positive. Well, they used actual bats in the batter that was like no one was expecting that they were putting yeah round bat batter in the batter and we all thought it was a fun they thought it was clever they thought it was clever yeah i thought it was funny um pancake batter and then it was like but it's bad yeah Halloween maybe yeah and there was a similar joke they did where like I know I was guilty

as anyone of laughing my fucking ass off at this but they you know they gave all the students ant sandwiches and said you guys can't catch it now and the students said oh why can't we catch it and they said because you got the antibodies

oh god and like yeah we loved that yeah i laughed at that but we were really sick no it's not that yes it's funny it's clever it's awesome but you can get sick especially if your only defense is like instead of like a mask and so this is you know all the things we're being told to do if you just eat ants and say oh i've got the antibodies right and then when you actually want to take some vitamins your lips are blistered from getting stung by ants and bit by ants. Because ants are alive. Yeah. Yeah. No one talks about that.

Yeah. It's bad. It's bad. But it's one of the most fulfilling teaching experiences of my life. Wouldn't trade it for anything. Wouldn't change a thing. Yeah. I mean, and to be honest, like, I don't want to turn my camera, but you guys would see

literally a trunk full of ants in the corner of my room. And they're just kind of, you're going to go on haywire. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird when there's a lot of them, you can hear them, you know, they're making noise. I just don't live my life with regrets. You know what I mean? Because even like eating the ants, putting bat in the batter, like all those choices are what made me who I am today. And I'm sorry, I love me. So I'm not exactly going to look back and go like,

Oh, I wish I didn't do that. I wish I didn't do this. It's like, no, when I look in the mirror, Hey, I like that guy. Hey, Hey, Mr. You know, shake your hand. Hey, it may have not, you may not have done it everyone else's way but you did it your way yeah then can you say that can you say that too please every day i look in the mirror and say you say that as well good morning no say to sean that you like him and i like i like you too sean Your internet sucks. It's dog shit. What? Yeah.

It's truly... Can you hear me now? Yeah, but there's no point in listening. Does that make sense? We can hear you, but it's like it doesn't... I've heard that one before. Can we move on? Is that cool? Are you guys cool with moving on? I'd love to move on. Jordan got a BA. Kevin got a fucking

CA in the C stand. CA stands for clown ass. Yeah, I know. on please move on yeah jordan got a ba kevin got a fucking ca and the c stands yeah stanford clown ass yeah dude yes yeah do you have wi-fi or lo-fi hello hello buddy like i want to come to your house and kill you right now you know no it's true yeah yeah dude I think we're I think everyone that's the one thing we all agreed on like for the first time it's like yeah we should like I would love to go over there and put a knife

like in your throat we did I think the last episode we did was about we went to Kevin's house and we did kick his ass kick his ass so just for like right and because we have this other thing that we do have to do which is yes of course it is

Emmys everyone is like talking and this is we gotta do this the Emmys awards yes we America is looking for hope and it's like we we America is looking for hope and it's like we

it's like what we have to be better now and give us the Emmys please and we are doing this the Emmys are happening we're producing it Yasser myself and Hayes obviously

we've had a lot of success in the past producing award shows like this. This will be unlike any other. We're in, you know, this isn't the before times, is it? Oh, I would say in these strange and unprecedented times. That's what I would say if we had to talk about these times. I would just say, oh, I would go out and I'd get real close. I'd say if we had to talk about that times I would just say oh I would go out and I'd get real close I'd say in these strange and unprecedented times that's it just like that I like to say I go and I always kind of uh pause in the middle like this I go in this uh moment

we're having oh but I always do the little uh oh yeah yeah i oh because that's where you find it see that's like one of those sean moments in the middle of the night it's like oh yeah we found we found it right right there right there in that uh in the liminal space and i don't need to tell that story you know we're so far past that so far really really far yeah sir so we did have to either we're so far past that. So far. Really, really far. Yasser, so we did have to... They want us to do this. Of course, there's always a negotiating stage.

There is some changes to the format. Yasser insisted that there be an Emmys for modeling or one award within the thing. So right now, I don't know if people know this, that didn't exist. Right, right. Okay, so it's like

best TV, best longest show. Yeah. What'd you say? Again, longest show. And it's like which one, it's not like which one's longest running. It's just like when you take the minutes of an episode, it's like this

one was 22 with commercials this one oh there's a netflix show this is just oh there's a willy nilly 34 and it's like that one would win that was love love right love on netflix they did a 34 minute yeah episode yeah um and then we like, we go back and retroactively give Emmys to things we're like, that was weird. Like, remember when they used to curse on NYPD Blue for no reason. We're just going to go back and we're going to go

show a gentleman's butt. They showed that weird guy's butt. They'd show the wagon. We go, we maybe should have been paying attention to this at the emmys thank you yeah here you hey here you go we go you know where to put that emmy and that butt go ahead and put it right on the big butt detective sipowitz yeah just sitting it like like kim k right on the ridge oh yeah

sticking that emmy right on the mantle. That's your Emmy shelf. Yeah. And I'm doing a special. There's like a lot of rap. Getting involved right now on TV. And so there's also the M&M's. That's a side.

That's a side thing. Yeah. How's the time? Can I just just say thank you well at long last but here's the thing not a lot of people are talking about it white rappers only and i know people are like yes sir why you're saying white rappers only and i'm like look man i gotta stay true to the game and if it's gonna be white rappers it's gonna be white rappers you know what i mean so a lot of people they're not digging that part of it but i think once they see it so much of this stuff is in

practice well and almost all of them are from that uh vh1 show that was like you know america's next great rapper so it is um if you recall so mc Search was the host. Right. And they would do a rap competition where it would be like, okay, you got to help Bushwick Bill make his new video. And then when they lost their battle at the end, if they were up for elimination, they would walk outside and throw their shoes over the telephone wire as a symbol of like, these guys are gone. Right. So Sully, obviously from that show was named specifically i cannot recall but but he he's gonna be i think probably winning most of the emmys right yeah um and then we'll get obviously there's other white rappers we'll get some of them too but yeah well we're also using just uh

as a nomination tool to get people more involved one of sean king's old mixtapes and that's just to get more people to be like oh now i get it because a lot of people don't get it with white rappers and then you're like listen to this and they go oh this is fire yeah you of course haven't heard it you don't listen to music, but. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I mean this sincerely. A lot of people don't do this. A lot of people listen to music and they will listen to an instrumental version of something.

I take out the music and just listen to the words. And that's pretty cool for me, you know. And again, not to like a cadence of anything. I have someone literally read a lyric sheet just in their own voice. I make sure that they don't split up any stanzas or anything. I and very much like the same way you would listen to like the audio book, like white teeth. You know, that's how I've heard every song in my life. Yeah, it's a,

it's the auditory equivalent of like a bowl of mush. Right. Yeah. Like, so I had a much different experience with that Megan, the stallion car DB song. Like I was like, this is cool.

This is sure. This is interesting. Yeah. I'm like, okay, who wrote this?ony morrison you know i love it i can't tell i can't tell you can't again like what i will say do i think it was a little weird that it was read by roxanne gay sure but i liked But I liked it. I liked it. So what are we

going to do? And that's just part of the Emmys. That's my contribution. Well, that's my contribution. It's called Silent Music. Well, and there were a lot of spaces where we were going to have music and your idea

was to play the video of The Rock telling everyone that he got COVID in each of those sections where we were going to have, because we had some pretty big bands that wanted to perform, especially like one of the advantages of like doing this stuff over Zoom is people can just set up, you know, at their home where they're comfortable. and right but then i came in and i said actually you need to be in la so there was a lot of flights here and then i went i went this isn't working pack it up get the hell out of here yeah yeah so we'll be playing that video i think as it stands that video is gonna be played about 14 times throughout the course of the evening's award ceremony yeah yeah which i think is pretty powerful yeah um and there's all kinds of it like i know in in talking about it in description you're like what like that sounds pretty boring but like first of all let me say i'm like a god with i movie so like you're gonna watch this we're gonna

do we're gonna punch in we're gonna see the rock's face close up and that's just one of the takes then another take we're just gonna like be in on one of his arms like just kind of like bulging you can punch in on any part right i've seen that but yeah and so like and then there's also i feel like i'm watching god himself when i see you get on get on the keys with that i movie program and i'm like well surely you won't be able to punch in on like just sort of the lower stomach part of the rock and then boom before i know it we're in pretty tight on that area yeah you punched in on that i punched in on that and like and here's the thing this is like for like real iMovie heads only so like yo I'm sorry like if you're at home listening right now and you're like oh this feels

like the alien language in that Amy Adams movie no our audience will get it they get it there's something so there's a very famous man named Ken Burns he's like one of the most like he's truly like in the world of editing

he would be like the Thelma Schoonmaker like i mean that's how like it's like boom he's ed burns his brother he's one of the brothers mcmullen yeah right yeah yeah um by the way like that guy does not get enough credit edward um ed what's his name burns burns ed burns yeah dude like i mean like he made that then he goes on to make shaft he then does that cameron diaz movie the sweetest thing it's like you want to talk about a catalog like this guy's got it you know he did three marvel movies that it was like howard the duck marvel presents spider-man and then um he did a third one that was just called Marvel.

And it was like a 1920s, like kind of fun. And then it was superheroes. It's just like people looking at electricity for the first time. And like that one, that one was cool too. Talk about Marvel presents Spider-Man for me, please.

Cause I know that movie, you shared yeah has a big impact for you especially now you know yeah yeah so it's about a spy and it's their name is Dermon

so it's spy Dermon and the thing is like this dude is like such a klutz so he'll be like he'll paint himself like fully white and he'll stand against the wall and then you're like but he's standing against a black wall like what is happening he can really see you now yeah and but the thing is like ed burns like the way he does it he cgi's the white So then it's a black figure against a black wall. And you're probably like, why didn't they just paint him black originally?

I am thinking that. Right. But you obviously don't know enough about filmmaking. No, this is why I'm happy here. Why don't you read a book about literally color theory once and I think you'd understand. Why don't you read a book about literally color theory once? And I think you'd understand. And I think it's weird that in the Dermen movies or the spy Dermen universe, do I think it's weird that he travels everywhere on Jeffrey Epstein's plane?

The Lolita Express? Well, no, he's doing it for a good cause, you know? Right. And people don't talk about that part of it well think of the minds he has access to to consult with like if you if you really look at like who else is on the plane it's like okay do i want my spy to have access to all the genius ideas of malcolm gladwell yes i do so let's get him on the epstein plane so those two can fucking chop it up yeah talk about why mcdonald's fries don't taste good anymore.

Yeah. And how that directly relates to how me and my neighbors converse. And that's interesting. Okay. So you, the other option is to get Steven Pinker and Alan Dershowitz off the Epstein plane. That is not happening. I mean,

you could try, you could try, you could try, but I mean, they're kind of glued into that thing, you know like it's a waste that you're gonna be so tired by the time you get them off you're not gonna have time you know energy to do your spy stuff right sometimes spying has some legal implications

not bad to have access to like a legal mind and i don't want to go off the rails too much with the spider universe yeah the spider verse yeah yeah yes and there's like there's other things that happen right like of course he gets bitten by a radioactive rat and like there's turtles that start doing karate and they're called the karate turtles and like there's kinds of like fun like things that you wouldn't expect because like spy dermon is so grounded so grounded and then you're like okay wait a second why is this freaking turtle learning how to do karata and you're like this is this is pretty fun and like again 30 000 feet in the air headed to an island with a movable statue like that is cool that is cool

I'm like that's the kind of stuff we appreciate as viewers like I want to see that on the big screen I want to see that I want to see Tenet ten times Kevin my card is full okay so it's fine just keep going and I'll just

figure it out I am what I can do right now is send you strength you're gonna be back are you gonna be back there and i hope you're feeling it as i send you all of the strength i have in this moment i could answer whether i'm feeling it or not but no one would be able to hear it because my card is so full well Kevin can use this backup the bad sound we do have to go so the way we're doing the Emmys

of course in this moment we're having the guys we have to go to all their house and we have to give them it and say here it is what do you want to say and like then we move on and we go to the other house right so kevin where like who's some of the nominee we also probably have to figure out who we have to make a really good guess at who wins

could i screen share and you could just see them all at once? No, just fucking read it. Okay. Say it. So we're looking, we're just looking at this. Just say it. It's two words. You're literally lucky.

You're literally lucky to be alive. Okay. Thank you. You should be using this moment as a blessing. Kevin, from here on out, honestly, the rest of your life, it's all gravy. Okay. Yeah, truly. There's bonus time.

Any bad thing that happens to you is actually good because you're alive during it. And if I ever hear you complain, I swear to God, I will find everyone who knows you and loves you, and I will put them through so much misery. Okay. I understand. Thank you. Okay, I understand. Thank you. Okay, some of the people are Don Cheadle, Anthony Anderson, Rami Youssef, Eugene Levy, Ted Danson, Michael Douglas,

and that's for Outstanding Lead in a Comedy Series. Why did you say it like that? I was enunciating. I think it must have been the internet speed. it kind of warps my voice a little and nope everything was fine it's just your just your voice hollywood handbook be a better you in 2024 with babble the science-backed language learning app that actually works don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really Or with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language. And the question that I always get, people stop me and they say, like, hey, I trust you.

I know when you endorse a product, it's something that you really use and care about. But there's one language that I'm trying trying to learn and that's body language so can babble teach me body language yes babble now has visual in-person lessons part of their quick 10-minute lessons that they do for other languages handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as little as three weeks babbles designed by real people for real conversations and that includes body-based conversations what does it mean when you drop someone off after a nice date and they turn around at the door and they take their little index finger and they kind of like draw it towards them.

They're pulling it. What does that mean? Does their finger hurt? I wonder if they spotted a spider web or something. They're trying to pull down the spider web. Yeah. But I've seen this too after a lot of dates. and i need i need and have needed something like babble to figure out what the heck is this person doing with their finger because it looks like a it looks like an emergency i know i was supposed

to do something or how about those people that stand in the street they're kind of like they've got like almost like police clothes on. It may be police. Yeah. And they're standing in the middle. And as I'm driving and I'm cruising, they're holding their hand up for like a high five almost. And they're really aggressively like pushing it out. And I'm like, am I supposed to pull over and get out of the car? Yes. Or just do it out the window as I'm going.

That's what I've been doing. That seems dangerous. Yeah. But some of these very subtle body language cues have escaped me and many listeners, I'm sure. Babbel's tips and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted in real life situations, which I have all the time, and delivered with conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Conversation-based teaching so you're ready to practice what you've learned in the real world. Studies from Yale, Michigan State University, and others.

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Yeah, which house is this? Don Cheadle. Wow. And so we have a little bit of a friendship here. And Yasser, talk about this. This is Don. Well, here's the thing I how do you describe friendship

outside of also doing chores for someone and I I love let me start by saying I love my work I love that I get to get up every day wash cars vacuum car it's not even work to you is it well it is because um it's not because what i

love what i love is actually being there for someone and this is me doing something for someone there is a difference but I guess emotionally I'm there. I guess emotionally it's happening. We all need to be supporting each other right now. We do need to be doing chores for each other for money. Right. And so, like, even this idea that, you know, like, we're talking about Don's house and it's like like I had to leave his house to do this podcast. Wow.

So I actually I and I should have said something earlier and I'm a little embarrassed. But anytime you guys need something taken to him, I'm more than glad to all hop on. And to be honest, if you guys need your dry cleaning picked up or, you know, just like a sweep, like a clean sweep of the spot. Let me in, masked up, gloves, got some bleach, and I'll do the thing. But yes, to say we're friends is, have I been texted instructions before about getting in? And like the safest way to like maintain the grounds? Yeah. But he's not, and that you wouldn't even want him to like maintain the grounds yeah but he's not and that you wouldn't even want him to be

in the same room as you or to like like be really talking to you and like saying hi and stuff for like I mean this we gotta be safe right now gotta be safe right now and like one of the I think one of the most one of the best things to come out of

our friendship is that he made me wear a mask before all this stuff started because he didn't want to see me. So he kind of knows what I look like. It's like one of those things if outside of a phone call, in real life, I would be given an instruction. He might be like, you're're and i'd be like yeah sorry but oh we've spoken before and then i would do the chore that he asked me to do sean yeah go ahead what do you want me to say hayes well you're going to don cheetos house did you bring you brought all the emmys i've got a bunch of them yeah some of them got kind of messed up well I left them in the hot car and a lot of them

sort of melted together and also like they look you know obviously I don't know where we stand on this sort of conversation these days I obviously don't want to offend anyone but the Emmy

the Emmy statue is a fucking babe she's a fucking smoke show like can we say that like it's better than saying that she's like unattractive right which is what you said last year well okay yes and i'm learning i'm growing right right so i took the time to listen and now i'm back i've listened i've heard what you said which is don't don't you know go like wolf wolf what a dog and say actually this time like oh man i'm getting charged up you also did say who is this based on and then you made people pull up pictures of women that you found unattractive. And you kept being like,

it's gotta be her, which I, I was like, I don't think this is a good idea. I kept saying, this is not a good idea. And a lot of the women were in the room. Right.

Yeah. That's. Yeah. That wasn't great. I obviously regret that you know that choice and so what i'm doing now is i'm going this fucking emmy you know this thing's gonna get me in trouble man and we you know we have changed we've made some shit like we do want to be like conscious about this stuff and so the emmy was always wearing this like dress and it's like oh like women have to wear like a dress or like this kind of yeah no and so now the new award the emmy is wearing loose jeans which has made it so much heavier like it really added you didn't think yeah and I like

the amount of like laser etching that goes into that stuff is cool they literally they laser etched every single seam on the back tab it says Lee Dungarees raw selvedge denim wow and a lot of

straight out of the box there's a lot of patches on the jeans that represent some pretty cool stuff to me. Motorcycle companies, you know, the concept of peace. Woodstock, Snoopy's friend, is a very prominent patch, you know. And then there's the one that says Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.

And under that, it says no exist. And it's like a play on the coexist one and it's like i'll never i'll never exist with you guys yes there's the jesus fishes on there um he's getting fried so there's a lot of statue yes the emmy woman we have made an atheist because we don't want to alienate anyone if you pick any one religion for her then it's like some people aren't going to want the statue but if you just go like hey she's frying up the jesus fish now all of a sudden everyone can enjoy the award but yeah she's very vocal about atheism yeah yeah and she has a ricky gervais tour t-shirt on and it's just like he rules he rules and yeah sticking out of her pocket is like a christopher hitchens book and so that's like kind of falling out of her pocket you can just

see it peeking out. Yeah. It's a front pocket too, which is like, why would you put a book in your front pocket? But here we are, you know. So we have to give this, we have to give one of these to Don Cheadle. Are you at the house?

Does the house like look like clean, like nicely kind of like? And I don't think it's don cheetle's house i gotta tell you i'm at this bill i'm at the address that we kind of agreed on this is not feeling like don cheetle's house to me what about it makes you say that well they're you know as i as i just step in it is a qdoba grill well yasser you've been i mean like is that does john don't you to live in a qdoba grill i don't know he he has a q anon grill oh wow and that's a separate part of the house where he hosts meetings. Maskless, everyone kisses on the way in.

And then you sit down and you talk about, you know, the kids. See, this is like, I mean, it does sound like living in Qdoba does sound weird. But I actually, I've heard recently that Reggie Miller has actually moved into Wendy's. Oh, wait. Yes. I saw that as well. He loves the breakfast so much it was actually easier for him to actually move into wendy's and wake up he's got a bed in there uh and like every morning he wakes up at wendy's and he eats uh the breakfast and jordan now this is when you'd be like yeah

sharing this is where you're gonna chime in yeah wendy's breakfast let's go 12 items on that menu and their prices and their prices and the prices come on come on um come on uh egg mcmuffin oh my god mick already implies mcdonald's for 5. McDonald's. For $5.99. That's so expensive. $5.99? What are you like George Bush 1? This is very damaging to your political career, Jordan. That you're so out of touch.

That you think $5.99? You can buy a McDonald's for $5.99 you can get a hash brown for $13.50 oh no no have I been paid too much for breakfast you're getting robbed

they're charging you $13.50 for a hash brown which Wendy's are you going also just comparatively have you never paid for a hash brown anywhere else jordan i i what's in the benefit of the doubt what's in the hash brown you're getting i asked them to put 13 hash browns all together like a big hash brown hash brown sandwich on hash brown bread yes that's cool that's keto i like that yeah yeah i'm on that keto diet so i was like only hash browns yeah yeah okay so this is not it sounds like it is not don cheetos as we're learning that don cheeto does not live at a qdoba grill

wait sean real quick is the guy with the gun up front yeah he's here but he's i i gotta say i don't want to insult him he's right near me he clearly doesn't know how the gun works oh yeah, yeah. No. I think he might be at the wrong Qdoba. What he's doing with the gun is like... It's a little strange to me. What's he doing?

Yeah, what's strange about it? Well, ding, ding, ding. I mean, it only took Yasser one guess i didn't know we were and i just want to say i didn't know we were guessing okay it wasn't it just wasn't presented to me that way but i gotta hit but i have to give the points to my friend here who it only took him one guess and i gotta say if you really understood the gun you would not be as yasir so eloquently put it sucking on it

yeah but i mean i've i've recently bought a gun so i've still learned like the tricks you know there There's the holster thing. It's a stage in having it, but I do think that you get over that pretty fast. You only need to make one mistake while sucking on it to go, you know what, I'm not sucking on that anymore. Yeah.

But that's why you do it unloaded first and then you start sucking on it when it's loaded. Uh-huh. Yeah, because you want to make sure that you know what it feels like weighted with the bullets, but you have start sucking on it when it's loaded uh-huh you go yeah because you want to make sure that you know what it feels like weighted with the bullets but you have to suck on you're just getting yeah sense of the equipment but but he's doing it in this very exploratory way where it just it doesn't seem like something he's comfortable with yet so i so i don't think this is the guy you described who the the man that you said would be here was very proficient

with his gun yeah no it can't be him okay so should i go to a different house i do think i'm at richard kind's house okay well was he in anything recently is he nominated for any pull up his imdb kevin kevin get him this is what we'll do. We'll give. So based on you believe that Richard Kind lives at a Qdoba with a guy out front who has a gun but is sucking on it. Thomas and the Magic Railroad. American Dad. At Home with Amy Sedaris. I was giving one for American dad. He did a voice role in American dad. What was

it for? What was the role? Al Tuttle slash car salesman. So he played two roles? Okay. So he's double dipping on that. So maybe we give him two Emmys and that works because two of these are stuck together pretty good. Kind of tangled together. Yeah.

Yeah. Is there a way that you can kind of do his voice and kind of guess what he's going to say when you give him to him? To do Richard Kind's voice? Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd do a decent Richard Kind. Yeah, so just because, again, I had this auditory thing, so I'm trying to prep a lot of times for what i'm gonna hear and so if you could just do his voice if we can't use it you can always

just play the rock video you know like if this doesn't come out yeah yeah yeah okay go ahead okay and the winner is richard kind people clap yeah hey yeah thanks for the yummy yeah Richard Kind. People clap. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I've seen this award. People use this award and I'll tell you, I wouldn't want to lower the award to President Clinton. Sean, I gotta stop you.

That was phenomenal. That sounded just like him. I'm losing it. I'm losing it. What? This whole time? I don't know. It's dumb.

I mean, I just. No, that's so good. I mean, sincerely, in terms of like impersonations, to me, it goes, you're Richard Kind just now. Dude from Police Academy making motorcycle noise. And your first motorcycle noise number two. I'm serious. No, and in front of the motorcycle noise as well. That's one of his main noises.

Oh, yes, sir. That means so much to me. And I barely practiced it. And when you say, and I mean this sincerely, I know what's coming next is a sincere statement. And so that really hit me right in the heart. Wow. Well, so that'll be his award speech. Should I go to the next house?

Yeah. Oh, it's right next door. Oh, they all live? That's cool. Okay, so who, I mean... Michael Douglas. For what? The Kaminsky Method, of course.

Kaminsky Method, yes. And we are giving Kaminsky Method its propers today, aren't we? It's one of my top shows. So I'm glad we're finally talking about it. And what is it? And what is the award for? Does it say on the thing, Sean, what the award is for for Michael Douglas in the Kaminsky method?

I mean, it's and this may again a lot of it melted so this may be a misprint okay what it says is chowin box doesn't say whoa it doesn't say best anything it says and it and it says chowin that again this may this may be that the letters have been deformed by the heat right because i thought it would say best i thought i'd say best actor probably best act best lead actor in a comedy series something like that what it says and it may be you know an error is it says chowing box well this is i mean look this is a guy how many of us have yester you look uncomfortable is something i just because it feels like and i i'm gonna be real with y'all for a second like i put that under the name plate that said best okay so that means the heat melted away

I did it as a thing for me you just know that's under there thank you by the way for doing all the nameplates that was so nice I was slammed and that engravery is one of my favorite

I was in the weeds with some of this map stuff awards underneath secret awards under everyone's award that when you put it is sound box for one of the only people who has like danced with death from doing something right and to me and look like i know people come to me and they're like we know you're like a t he he guy and it's like yeah most times t he's and tahas and so on but this time i was like i'm gonna be classy like this is something that someone's worked for i'm gonna hide it i'm gonna hide it in there like you know there's so many times like there's like certain nvp awards that like nba players have won and it's like little wayne hooked up with your wife and it says that under the main thing but

so like the main thing is like chris bosh cool and then under it's like little wayne little wayne did something crazy you know and so the channel box thing like i is there a way you can put the best actor thing back on it well i could take i could take the b from box and put that up front just i mean i have that so he knows that there did say best here slide that over you could say that the B. Well. B chow and ox. B chow and ox. Yeah, chow and ox. That's like, I do like ox tails.

Like, that's a thing. Yeah. No. It would help actually if Jordan could kind of use her breakfast studies degree to like kind of get out there and popularize having ox for breakfast yes that would you could actually publish a big research paper on this i'll make an ox sandwich for 29.99 okay that seems i was gonna say reasonable price yeah that's a premium item i never mind i mean 59 dollars oh my god Never mind. I mean, $59. Oh, my God. Still too cheap. So I'm not convinced this is Michael Douglas' house either.

What happened? I'm at a feed and fuel store. So there's like chicken feed and like a big burlap sack labeled pig feed. And then there's like some drums of diesel gas here. Okay. So I just, I just want to make sure I'm catching all this. Right.

So you were at a Qdoba. Then you were at Richard. I kind of jumped over the hedge. No, he thinks it was Richard. Qdoba. Yeah. I think so. I think he was in the back.

Gotcha. Okay. So you're, there's a Qdoba next to a... A feed and fuel store. Feed and fuel. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess humans need to feed and... Yeah, I get that.

Sure, yeah. Michael Douglas is only human. I guess he needs fuel and feed as much as anyone, but... Right, right. I'm surprised, because it's not nice. Dave Chappelle lives on a farm. Yeah. This is not a farm you know this is a sort of a silo i'm saying that yeah i'm saying just more that people have

chosen alternative routes of living as of recently right yeah like me like a lot of people say you live in a corolla about me a lot of people say that yeah like you said that i i said it i'm guilty of saying it as much as anyone right yeah yeah yeah and hayes has been like to be clear it's a 98 corolla like just a tag yet yeah hayes you can own that oh Oh, yeah. No, I've said that a lot. And you never say anything. You don't respond at all. Right. You'll change the subject a lot.

I think one of the issues with me is that I hate liars. So you are actually having to leave that space. It's not my space to have. During this for... It's not my space to have. During this time, it's not my space to have. The liar space is not one that is your space to have. This is... I actually think it's time for liars to speak up. Like, they...

Like, I want to hear what they have to say. Okay. Next question, dude. It's time for me... Next question. What else? It's time for me. Next question. What else? It's kind of like what Louie was like. It's time for me to step back and listen to all these liars.

And they're like, I have a lot of money. I've never gotten sick. Yeah. You know? Yeah. They're cool. And I'm like, hey, I'm just, what do you need? What do you need?

And that's what I say. Do you need a platform? Say something that's not true. I'll retweet. Yeah, that's my thing, truly. We have to go. Sean, can you just like, just kind of leave the other ones out in the road?

I'm just going to wing them at, you know, at passing cars and stuff. Yeah. Can I make a suggestion i can i make a suggestion can i make a suggestion you can you can say anything to me oh my god okay so first of all uh that's my first thing i want to say is oh uh my second thing is if you're like instead of just giving them away a cool way to give someone a gift is you stand over a bridge that's over a highway and you drop things over the bridge as cars are passing underneath and it'll land in their car

maybe through the windshield yeah do you have any show like should we save one for you any shows you want to promote and we give you like yeah you want some of these emmys i mean you're doing shows again it's like one of those things like i have a thing full of emmys because i have the mold here uh so i'm good thank you by the way for molding all the i i mean it's hard as i'm getting bit by ants but uh but i love look i love it oh are there any ants in the mas like i tried to make sure i smoothed them out i'm seeing a bunch yeah i i'm seeing them and i i honestly think it adds to it yeah some of them that like just their their back part uh what's that called sean a thorax like a thorax kind of situation well i thought you put ants on there because you wanted

ants in their pants because they're wearing pants so that is the effect sometimes and that would be a good thing to say they are wearing these yeah i guess you could call them pants really they are dry salvaged raw jeans right but yeah some people do call them pants but i like what haze is saying is the right thing so but yeah so just their thorax is captured in their front uh parts yeah their pentameter sticking out of her and we didn't we never said what she has on top but she's wearing a big chunky sweater and suspenders so yeah yeah yeah uh-huh and the sweater and she's yeah it's the sweater the kid wears in the shiny she's got the holes she's got the holes where her thumbs can go through she's a little you know yeah she's a little like what she's like i don't care i'm an emmy yeah

you know so that actually and i gotta say like one eyebrow stephanie piercing you and sean yeah yeah yeah when you guys came with that design i was like i like that she's kind of just like she's like this new school like i don't know you know like and i was like what these zoomers like she's not young she's actually pretty old but like has that you know very old zoomer vibe yeah she also like the fact that she's wearing platform jelly sandals like she's taller now and it's like Jordan didn't even mention

that part like she wasn't like this is one of my favorite parts of it and brass knuckles that say the church yeah oh my god which is weird I mean I I wasn't clear And brass knuckles that say the church. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Which is weird. I mean, I wasn't clear at first. Yeah.

Is she punching the church or is the church punching you? I mean, the church. Well, sometimes you just see the when she's punching you. I will say, do I think it's weird that she's wearing a thin blue line bandana? Like, that feels like it doesn't go with the other things. I'll just say, we had to start doing these designs a while ago, okay? Right, yeah, yeah. This is when you could have a thin blue line bandana.

Actually, some people thought it was cool, okay? Right, right. This doesn't happen in one one second it takes months to know yeah at the time that we did it it was actually cool but we did i will say this when when you guys came in with the designs i was like okay we have to plan for culture shifts because time you know the amount of time it's going to take to make these we don't know what's going to happen and hayes specifically kept being like this bandana will always be cool yeah i he did double and triple down on that and he threatened to walk off the

project if we didn't make the bandana which i was like you know uh sympathetic to i mean people have yeah yeah you were take or leave you're like it's it's really fine i i just kind of came in like here's a suggestion and hayes went no way he went nuts he he went fucking nuts yeah i never seen him but it's all there but it's all there it's on there and it works and it's a great Emmy the most beautiful one I've ever seen so we did compromise on that if you remember when I first submitted it it wasn't thin

I was doing a big ass blue line thick blue line this shit ain't thick enough yeah right well cause the original design if I remember was a very thick blue line with a Punisher skull. And so you're like, can we

at least make this a little thinner? It's like, alright. Yeah, as long as we keep the Punisher skull, yeah. Yeah, but can I say it looks good? It does look good. Oh no, it looks great. It looks cool. Divorced from any meaning, it looks cool cool it looks cool divorced from any meaning it looks

cool and then whether you agree with what it but the shit looks fucking cool graphically it's cool like a bunch of stripes and a punisher skull aesthetically in one color yeah it's awesome it's awesome yeah um but we do gotta go and y, it's been so great to have you here. And if you want an Emmy for any of your shows, I know you have the mold, but just tell me, cause I'm just kind of shoving them in this bag of pig feed and, and, and I'll come back and grab them later. Cause I got to anchor him for Qdoba. I'm going to hop back over this hedge. Cool. No, no.

Thank you so much. Uh, I just sold something to Quibi. Uh, it was a router. It was a router. Because they were having streaming stuff issues. I think maybe you can give me an Emmy for that if you wanted to do that.

Where is it? Like a Cisco? It's ALT something. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it's one of the-T something. Oh. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it's one of the nicer ones. Okay. A-R-R-I-S.

Sorry. A-R-R-I-S. Oh, well, we'll plug that for sure. So, yeah, do check out Quibi and thank Yasser when you're able to watch the show. He sold them an A-R-R-I-S router. And then thanks so much for being here. I'm so sorry. My card filled up, everyone.

Bye. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. And then thanks so much for being here. I'm so sorry. My card filled up everyone. Bye. Hollywood Handbook. That was a HeadGum Podcast.