Honey You're Ruining Our Kid - 2023 Book Show - Recommendations For All Ages & Parenting Situations

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Welcome to the annual books edition of Honey You’re Ruining Our Kid. Our picks of the year and the reasons why you need certain books in your life. All the books recommended can help you contend with the most common issues we have been emailed about in 2023.Huge thanks to all our lovely listeners who shared their parenting book recommendations. Massive thank you to the wonderful Helen Carr who got in touch with the most beautiful books for your Xmas stockings this Christmas. We run through all our favourite books that we think are essential for your children’s bookshelf. Debi Giliori - No Matter what. Owl Babies- Martin Waddell.The Invisible String - Patrice Karst. Arlo the Lion- Catherine Rayner. How Do You Feel - Lizzy Rockwell. Llama Llama Mad At Mama- Anna Dewday. Millie Fierce- Jane Manning. Where Happiness Begins - Evo Eland. Breathing Makes It Better- Christopher Willard and Wendy O Leary. The Unbudgeable Curmudgeon- Matthew Burgess. Big Feelings - Alexandra Penfold. Ellen Ryan - Girls who slay monster.  And her new book: Gods Don’t Cry. Let’s Talk …. Richie Sadlier. Parenting books:Good Enough - Dr. Becky Brainstorm & The Whole Brain Child - both by Dan  Siegel. The 4-7 zone - Dr Colman Noctor. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read - Philippa Perry. Irish books for gifts this Christmas. https://obrien.ie/tread-softlyhttps://obrien.ie/its-too-dark-pufflinghttps://obrien.ie/twin-power-the-lost-cuphttps://obrien.ie/sally-in-the-city-of-dreamsShout out to Threshold listening library an incredible online resource for parents this Christmas. Threshold Listening LibrariesEmail us on [e-mail] us on www.patreon.com/irishmanabroad to access bigger episodes and the full archive of bonus content.

it's honey you're ruining our kid the parenting podcast 2023 book show our annual look at the books you should be buying for your kids and for yourself as a parent i guess it's like our toy show and to an extent it'd be very hard to visually review toys on the podcast. But recommending books is something that we've been doing since the beginning of this thing. Yeah, books are super, super important. We all know that. And Tina has, you know, our bookshelf here behind us that's absolutely packed full of great ones and some not so great ones. We're not going to call out the duds.

No. But it is a sea, isn't it? There's so vast a number of books. I have boxes and boxes of books. I've never been able to throw away a book. Yeah, but there's so many ones that are just like not, like as a parent you don't have time for one that's

going to be full of faff or nonsense or too, just not to the point. Well, it's finding the one that captures your child's interest really because you're trying first of all you're trying to get them to fall in love with books yeah and capture their interest and try and encourage them to want to be around books and explore books so it is so finding the ones that they like there is the two sides of the i was thinking of you know you as a parent looking for help and needing some guidance or handbook on you at all times.

She can just flick to what's my thought on this. We're going to talk about both sides of that. We're going to talk about the ones that might be helpful to you that aren't overly prescriptive, aren't finger waggy like the way we've tried to design this podcast. The zero judgment books. They just have some solid tips. Tina's got some great ones of those we got some great recommendations from you yes thank you all so much yeah and then we're going to look at the ones where it's like you you have a specific problem with your kid whether it's grief or anxiety or just listening and there's a book that they can read where they can kind of subliminally

take in where you indirectly get the message across yeah yeah it's like i always say with comedy you can get people to listen to things they wouldn't if you said you were doing a documentary about how uh people are not taking any civic pride in their community. You can kind of lace that into comedy and the spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. That's the books. Yeah, and you know, when we were kids, there was always somebody in a bookshop who you could go to as a parent

and ask them about a book. You remember when bookshops were like a place where they knew everything? And that's kind of, you know, you don't really get that anymore except on Grafton Street in Dublin I was in what's how do you pronounce that? Dubray. Dubray. But like there's like I did a book series bookshop series people may remember this oh there are these bookshops

everywhere yeah they're so well populated. I guess what I mean for children. For kids right. Because I remember being in that bookshop how do you say it again i can never pronounce that dubray dubray and there's this lady who was there i wish i knew her name probably you know this i was mesmerized by this lady people were just i was in the bookshop for ages and people were just walking up to her like there was a queue it was a cute and they would like give her an idea of an interest her child has and she was just able to it was like magic she was just able to go it's like i know the book and then it just came to her hand and they were all went off human google it was incredible i'd love no pop-up ads uh i don't know about you guys but if you're irish and you're watching tv over the weekend and such a very tough tough week the toy show was the

ray of light that I definitely needed in my life I feel like it was the magic we all needed yeah back on Friday we were just bent from everything that happened I got so worn down I got so sad about what happened in Dublin doing doing the show in Kilkenny on Friday night was really hard but then I kind of felt this responsibility that I felt people in the room needed to laugh. Yeah, everyone was in a daze I think of Friday because we were like, did that just really happen in our capital city? Sometimes I think my job is just so stupid and like what's the point of it? And then you realise that you actually do have like

this responsibility on some level that people are coming to forget yeah people need escapism yeah and that is what they're getting with the your man show it's on tour now uh today i can exclusively announce we're adding two more three Olympia shows in May. Oh, my God. So that's six Olympias in total. Four of them are sold out. Some tickets left for January 18th, but going everywhere, all over Ireland, all over the UK. And you're in the real danger zone now, Charlotte.

It disappearing with my own eyes. Yes. Yeah, for sure but like here's the thing and the reason for doing this show isn't just to go to overload you with recommendations over the series right we see the same problems again and again and again yeah and each time there's usually a book that can help right yeah books are an incredible resource for parents like there's usually a book that can help, right? Yeah, books are an incredible resource for parents. There's always something you can put in a parent's hand that they can sit down and have this magic one-to-one time with their kid while not being the person delivering the message.

The message is coming from the book. Oh my God. It's one of the biggest problems, isn't it? Yeah, it's about repeating it though. You need to, reading that book once is not going to work. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And actually now we know and teachers are encouraged, especially in early years, to pick 10 books for the year that you're going to read every day in the class. The same books over and over again because we know now that repetition

is obviously how the child learns. But it's also there's a nice feeling of safeness with these books that they know they're going to be read to every day, which is beautiful. So before we get going, like, I think people hear the power of reading to your child over and over and over again. And a lot of people struggle with finding the time for it. But like it's scientifically proven that the benefit of it. Yeah. Well, in a nutshell, what is it? What is the benefit of actually taking the time to shut everything off and just read to them? Well, I guess in a nutshell, I hate when you ask me to do things in a nutshell.

Yeah, it's like, Tina, hurry it up. I go to immediate panic. Yeah. Well, it is, firstly, the time with your child. Right, one-on-one. It is that magic embracing and the reading and the coziness of that. But it's also, you're helping them explore the world and you're introducing them to words and literature and sounds they're hearing. You know, they're hungry for language.

they're hearing you know they're they're hungry for for language they're in a sensitive period for developing their language and they want all these words and it's recognition and just just feeding their curiosity it's it's and also i would imagine that it's the habit of a lifetime yes yeah yeah there's a part of the day that involves just focused reading. And I can't stress enough that if you do take the time to read, you know, rhyme books, whatever, they don't have to be incredible books. You will reap those rewards when they start writing and it'll all be there. You've laid the bricks. The foundation is good. They will find school easier.

You've laid the bricks. The foundation is good. They will find school easier. So when you say reading to them, the way I used to do it was it wasn't them sitting in a chair, reclined, looking at the ceiling while they all read to. It's them under your arm

looking at the book at the exact same time. You're both engaging with the book. The book is something that you're doing together. It's an activity. And are you following under each word with your finger you don't have to do that if you prefer but now and what you eventually want to do with the repetition of these books you know when you have your books you want is get them to finish the sentences or encourage them to read you know and that's promoting memory yeah you don't want them doing sight reading because we know that's not good.

Is it not? No, remembering words like that. Yeah. It's better for them to learn with sounds to read. But what you want them to do is remember the sentences. So like you're able to then during the day, you can tell the story while they're in the pram and then they can finish the sentence of the story or act it out with puppets and stuff. And this show isn't just about like, you're not going to be going to your 13 year old, get underneath me now. I'm going to read you a little bit of Adrian Mole.

We know even that age, they do love a bit of one to one. You know, if you do sit on the bed with them one night and read a bit of a book, you'd be amazed. Oh, yeah. I have had nights where he's's too tired to read i'll read this one and they lay back that is a layback they're so important to get these stories in that you know all those little gadgets they have out now or reading audiobooks if that works for your kid at bedtime as long as they're being exposed to it you know it would be better if it's a one person but it's still really important for them to hear it all. What's the book? I'll put this in your mind. Have a think about it as a listener.

What's the book from your childhood that really sticks out that you don't have now, really sticks out? Have a think about it. I'll come back. I'll tell you my one after. I mean, 2023 has probably been the most challenging year for any parent with a kid that's anyways anxious or tuned into the world. Yeah. Now, this is obviously above the kind of toddler age, but maybe not because they're absorbing it and they're hearing it. Between

war in Ukraine, the situation in Gaza, and now this week, just riots in the streets here in Ireland. And as a parent, if you're worried, are they absorbing it? Just watch how they play.

Because you'll know very quickly if it's coming out in their play. They're thinking about it. It's on their mind. How would it present itself? In their play. I mean, how are they interacting with their toys? What are they doing in their play? What are their games? What are they drawing? Children will, anything that's on their mind when their earlier years will come out in their play. That's why it's so important to actually play with your child. Something I always find really hard because I find playing so boring.

Oh my God. But it's so important to do it. I've never seen her like claw out her eyes when playing figurines with our little lad. It's something I've always loved. You'll do it for hours. I'll do it

forever. I've got 20 minutes in me max and then I'm like okay back to learning. Lying on my front doing characters with the things. But you know this world and whether it's, you know, the president of the United States of America looking to be under threat from somebody who's about to go to jail, watching January 6th, I remember this time having an impact on the sleep pattern and just worry levels of our kid and other kids and the emails that came in. Yeah. We usually circle back to the end of each of those answers. And you should get this book.

Yeah. For you, when a parent comes to you and says, right, my kid's anxious. I sense it. They can't really articulate it. What book are you recommending? And what do you say to them when you're reading it? Do you mention this is for your anxiety or do you just go, let's read this. This is good. Oh, yeah. You never, ever address the reason you bought them the book. The book is just going to be something they read and they get to feel safe with the words. Sorry. So you don't go, now this is because you're saying that you are anxious, which is nonsense.

You're not meant to be anxious. No, I don't think you should ever really name that. Use that word with your little tiny. You're not meant to be anxious. No, I don't think you should ever really name that, use that word with your little tiny. You're being ridiculous. Snap out of it. But you know my book, my book that I go to all the time, especially in my classroom,

and I would read this book like maybe three times a week, is Debbie Glory and No Matter What. So the author is Debbie Glory and the book is No Matter What. It has to come with a health warning, Tina this book yeah i can't get through without crying i cannot read this book but it's magic book and i love it and you read it slowly and it rhymes and the pictures are wonderful and the children love it because it's about a little fox who's having a conniption he is having a meltdown he

is angry and they love that they're getting to you know you know read this like yeah you know this angry little fox is having a temper tantrum and it's wonderful how the mom copes with it and you know she reassures him every time and and it's all about whatever you do, whatever happens to you, I got your back. I'm your mum and I'm here for you. I love it. We're going to hear a little bit of Debbie Galore reading that book now.

Okay. Playing toss and fling and squash. Yell and scream and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Good grief, said Large, what is the matter? Small said, I'm a grim and grumpy little Small and nobody loves me at all. Oh Small, said Large, grumpy or not i'll always love you no matter what i mean that's just a small taste that's really the opening page that book gets me every time every single time but it is about reassuring the kid no matter what yeah everything's gonna be okay. And that your love isn't conditional or provisional upon you achieving this or doing this.

And it's something we all need to be reminded of because we may not have had that in our own childhood. Yeah. And also, I was just going to say, sometimes the magic of children's books is, okay, they help the kid, but they also give the parents the language they need to talk to their children it's great they actually can indirectly teach you as a mom or dad to be a bit silly to say the things they need to hear like or to say i love you no matter what yeah more during the day during the day or mommy comes back yeah i mean does l babies get a mention well you in this book show I haven't written it down but we can't

you know Owl Babies is a bookshelf essential and Owl Babies is connected to no matter what because it is about

that thing that you can't put your finger on as a kid where you start to worry Jesus Christ I hope

they do come back yeah absolutely after this thing yeah well owl babies is a magic book really because it does just first of all the language in the book is so beautiful it always brings the kids with them but also it puts to rest that idea of okay yeah it's normal enough to worry about this but it's it's you know who wrote? Oh, I can never think of that. But Owl Babies in its essence is about the mom going away and reassuring the kid that once I go away, I'll come back. So this is for anybody who's sending their kid to school. Yeah, Owl Babies. Specifically, because as Tina said, if you're not prepping your kid for this is how it's going to work, I'll go away, but I'll always come back.

And that's the essence of Owl Babies as a book. Now, again, if we're talking about questions we're getting over and over again at school, you're through it. You're nearly through the first term. You're fully through to Christmas. This is a great time to get on top of this stuff that you might be worried about for January. And some of the recommendations that are coming up might be for parents who are seeing a looming problem on the horizon. Well, whatever, there's something is going to happen in your house this Christmas because kids lose the run of themselves at Christmas. It's impossible not to.

And you can't properly discipline them in front of the rallies. Yeah. All rules go out the window at Christmas and you spend January trying to get your kids back. Back on track. No matter how good they are, they're going to misbehave at Christmas because they've got the keys to the city and the rules are out the window.

Yes, so Owl Babies is by what was it, Martin Waddell. Yeah. Very small book, only a few pages long, but honestly, absolutely brilliant for kids of that age who are developing concerns about the solidity and reliability of things. And kids who've had a fright at night time, which happens a lot. Sometimes your child won't stay in bed anymore and you don't know what's happened, but they've just had a little worry. And that

makes them think, oh, I'm not the only one who had a little worry. You know, this happens. People have little worries and then they realize everything's OK. Yeah. And it doesn't take much for a kid to develop a worry. I mean, literally having the news on in the car sometimes about this girl in Israel who has been abducted. Yeah. And it's in the news. I know. This policeman had his car set on fire.

You know. It's all a bit mad at the moment for a kid. It would be weird if your kid didn't have a little bit of anxiousness. There's two books right away to start things off. Now let's get to book number two. I think every kid's fascinated with death on some level, aren't they? Yeah. The minute they start, the minute they realize numbers go by 10 and infinity and the idea of infinity, they become weirdly obsessed.

With the endings. With the endings of people and how old people can get. And it can really creep parents out, but I can't stress how normal it is. The minute they start counting past 100, where they have the idea of the universe, they become obsessed with dying. Yeah. And this is a real problem for a lot of folks who are like, probably coping with their own grief or maybe never had any discussion in their own house as to how to deal with it or how to talk about it. Well I found it especially strange when we lived in England because over there there's a culture of not involving

children in grief at all. Leave them at home during the funeral. They don't even tell them that someone has died. They're just sent to school. And for me I was like that's really not going to help your head at all. You're expected to go in with the casket in Ireland. You need to be at the weight. I sat at the side of my grandparents' coffin

and held their hand. You know, I think the wake is something really beautiful we have in Ireland. But I guess, you know, I totally understand every family needs to do that their own way. But I can tell you, one of the biggest mistakes you will make as a parent is not talking about grief with your child. So that's what this next book is about. Yeah, because they will imagine all sorts if you are not honest and open with them about what has happened. The unknown is far worse.

And you just explain it in whatever way you're comfortable with yourself and whatever your religious or non-religious beliefs are. But as long as you're being open and honest with your kid, they won't go to fear with grief. They will accept that it's a process. Yeah, they're dumb. Oh, darling. They'll trust you. No, they will trust you.

They will follow your lead. They will follow your lead on everything. You are their universe. Yeah, as in, like, if you're anxious about a thing, they'll think, well, my mom's anxious about this, I better be anxious. So my go-to book on helping you, you know, broach this topic with your child is The Invisible String.

And who wrote that? I think the name is Patrice Karch. I could be pronouncing that wrong. And it's, you know, this story is really just about letting the child know that, you know, just because you don't see someone doesn't mean you're not still connected to them. OK, brilliant. So let's hear a little bit of it now. OK. Mom said, you know, we're always together no matter what. But how can we be together when you're out here and we're in bed?

Said Liza. Mom held something right in front of them and said, this is how. Rubbing their sleepy eyes, the twins came closer to see what mom was holding. I was about your age when my mommy first told me about the invisible string. I don't see a string, said Jeremy. You don't need to see the invisible string. People who love each other are always connected by a very special string made of love. I mean, pre-kids, me would have been like, whoa, the invisible string. But now I'm like, oh, we're connected by an invisible string of love. It's beautiful.

You've ruined me. You've ruined cynical Larry David me with this child who's brought me so much joy and zero crack. Oh, it's all. I'm joking. But that is some beautiful writing. We underestimate exactly. People go, oh, I think think about writing a children's book. It's so hard.

It's so hard because the economy of language needed Yeah. and the also the attention span of kids. Yeah.

You are competing for the attention of the toughest audience in the world. Yeah, you don't capture them with those words. Yeah, and if they smell that you're trying

to teach them something. Yeah, exactly. They're like, I'm out. Big time. I've seen that a hundred million times. They'll shut that book and throw it in the corner. But Invisible String. Is beautiful.

Does it. And gets them. And like you said, these will be books that you read over and over again. And ideally, they'll bring up to you. So when you're leaving to go somewhere, you can say things like visible string. Don't forget. Yeah, it's true. It's equipping you with the language.

So our next one comes to us about the maybe one of the biggest problems that we see. No, it's not weeing all over the toilet floor. It's not toileting at all. It's not toilet training. It's my favourite thing in the world. Sorry, I just ran out of sleep. Stop building it up. Sleep. It's important. Let's do it. Sleep. Now, how could there

be a book that helps with this? Well, there's loads of books out there. Loads and loads. But this one is one of my favorites. It's called Arlo the Lion, and it's by a lady called Katrin Raynor. And it's just about, you know, a little lion who just cannot settle. And sometimes children don't know how to put the language or the feelings or understanding on, well, what is it that's keeping me away? or the feelings or understanding on, well, what is it that's keeping me away? So a little story that explains to them about another little person

who is struggling to get themselves to sleep is really reassuring for your child. I have, my only sleep difficulty is when I've got a flight early in the morning. Really? And I guess it's like Inception. The idea takes hold, I'm not going to get to sleep. And it doesn't happen. It's a terrible feeling. It's just a terrible feeling.

Yeah. And I can totally see how it happens to kids, that they go, I'm not going to, what if I never go to sleep? I know, and they just get overtired then and they can't get there. They can't settle. And as a parent, your patience is very thin because you're tired too. Big time. So anything you can do to help them internalize, you know, okay, this is that thing that's happening.

I'm just a bit restless. What can I do for myself right now to get my body a bit calmer? It's really helpful. So, you said Christmas time. The rules go out the window. Certainly in terms of sleep, that's a pick because it's like, let's

watch Elf and it's finished at 9.30 but okay. Yeah, and it's so annoying because all these nice things you do for your children always end up biting you in the arse. Is that the expression? No. Yeah. Is it? Okay. I always get expressions wrong.

What did you think it could be doing to your arse? I don't know. I just think that the Christmas time mightn't be the best time to try anything new try and get on top of things but what I do have is

I've just written out a list of books that you can have around you or invest in for helping your kids deal with the emotions that's going to come up at Christmas time. Next week's episode

has got to be all about Christmas and people like that. but like, you know, just helping them, you know, gather themselves

and realizing, yeah, you're feeling angry. What do we do when we're feeling angry? You're feeling frustrated because you know what happens at Christmas to parents?

We get angry because we're like, you little fuckers, we've done so much for you. It's still not enough. It's still not enough. Well, let's hear a little bit of Arlo the lion. Okay, and then I'll just read out the list

of the other books because there's so many. Oh, you will not. I will too. Arlo was a very tired lion. He had tried everything, but he could not get to sleep. The grass was too prickly and the earth was too hard. The trees were too noisy but the desert was too quiet. The sun was too hot but the night was too cold. His family were warm but they wiggled too much. Everybody knows that lions need a lot of sleep and Arlo

was exhausted. She reads the story like she's a presenter on a TV show. And as difficult as that might be for you as a parent, it really

has to be a talent you learn well I remember when you had to do it for Threshold Listening Library I do I mean I didn't fully Bosco it up but I'm very proud of the work I did

there you read that beautiful story Santa Can You Find Us by Shane O'Brien how will Santa find us oh myane o'brien how will santa how will santa find us oh my god that story homelessness that story will break you it is a family that is turfed out of their house yeah very close to christmas and the kids wondering how is santa gonna find us you're already crying but threshold listening library is an incredible online resource for parents where a load of different people like Jarlett and then cooler people like Donald Lisa.

Stars. Celebrities. Hosier. Hosier myself and other celebs. Have all lent their voices to reading out beautiful Christmas children's stories. Yes. And you chose that gorgeous story. It's just one of the many, many charitable things that I do with my time. But it is something I'd forgotten until you were making fun of that there and I was remembering, I remember you struggling to like hold it together and read the book so that it was still. I have to say when reading to your children bursting into tears during the story is

not great. I don't know if that's the worst thing. I mean every single time I've read Debbie Glorious no matter matter what, to my classroom, I have cried. And it got to the point where the kids in my class will be waiting for it. Like, she's got a crack. We've got an awful lot more for you guys. And it's not all for little weenie teenies. No, no, it's not. Actually, this is the last bit we're doing for them.

And I'm just going to read these out. I know Charlotte said no, but there's so many books the last bit we're doing for them and i'm just going to read these out i know charlotte said no but there's so many books flash through them they're all in the info as well yeah these are the books that are going to help your child cope with their emotions and i'm not including the color monster because i presume you all have that by now because i'm always banging on about it but the first book i'm gonna say to you is a book called How Do You Feel by Lizzie Rockwell. Fabulous book that helps your child cope with different emotions. The next one is Llama Llama Mad at Mama by Anna Juni, I think. And this is a great book because kids love reading about other kids who get angry at their parents. They just love the notion that somebody lost their rag.

You don't grow out of that, by the way. No. Millie Fierce is a brilliant book by jane manning really recommend that another book about a little girl who's very angry and kids love reading about that and seeing another child actually expressing themselves where happiness begins a beautiful book by ava alland really recommend that. Just two more. Breeding Makes It Better by Christopher Willard and Wendy O'Leary and Feelings by Lily Walden. And I think actually one more for the road here is Big Feelings by Andres Alexander Penfold. Oh, I'm sorry. Last one, I promise. The Unbudgable Curmudgeon by Matthew Burris. Those are books that if you see while you're in the library or out about at the shops,

no harm picking them up and reading them a few times to your kids. They're going to help them cope with whatever they're feeling. It's going to normalize their feelings to them. They're not going to be afraid of feeling those ways. It's really important that we allow our children to feel whatever they're feeling. It's

not okay. So you've read all of those yeah in my classroom wow so this is i've read all the children's books would you ever consider trying to write one yourself you know what it's really hard i think i would love to because you could illustrate it. But like, it is so hard. I think I did try once before. And it's just like you say, it's condensing the language because language is so important. But the story is important. And it, you know, maybe at some point. It's also a very crowded market.

Yeah. And if you're going to do it, I think like this is half the reason this show is here today. I think like this is half the reason this show is here today is spotting the greats in there is hard. In a sea of Waldo the aardvark. It's like, how do you know which ones are good? Yeah. Well, Tina's read them all. Yeah, I really have.

She's telling you these work. I really have read them all. We got some great recommendations from loyal listener Helen Carr. We're going to get to those in a bit. She's a publisher at O'Brien Press. She knows her stuff. She's a woman in the know. Exactly. And if you have a recommendation, one that we've missed, let us know and we can include it in next week's Christmas Countdown episode.

Honey, you are ruining our kid at gmail.com is the way to reach us. Exhausting. I think older kids are reading a lot more than ever before. I certainly remember having one book thrust into my hand to encourage me to read and it was about football. I was even that into football. Yeah. And definitely getting me to read was a struggle about football. I was even that into football. Yeah. And definitely getting me to read was a struggle, I remember, for my parents.

Well, there's so much choice out there now and there's books for everyone. I mean, it is finding, if you're struggling to get your child to read, it's finding the book that captures their curiosity. For us, it was Lemony Snicket and, what are those books called? Unfortunate Events.

Unfortunate Events. They captured Mikey. And after that, he was there. Sometimes it's comics. It's always harder to get boys to read. I don't know why. I hate generalizing, but it's fact. And that's why so many people are being offered book deals if they will just write books for boys.

But what's harder and harder as a parent, as your kids get older, is buying them books that contain messages that they will indirectly get it's easy when they're little there's so many books for that but how do you buy them a book that they want to read that will also help them with feelings and things they're just at an age where they're like stop telling me things yeah like i'm being told things by everybody i Yeah, I know. And we're really lucky because actually in Ireland right now there's this lady

called Ellen Rine who used to write for I think she still does The Irish Times and The Irish Independent. But she, last year, she wrote a book

called Girls Who Slay Monsters and this Christmas she has a new book out called Gods Don't Cry. and both of these books are just fantastic. One of them was on the toy show this week and why are they fantastic? Because you know they're centered around forgotten Irish legends, heroes within them who weren't championed

along the way but also they kind of indirectly show your child that there's different types of heroes. There's different ways to be strong. You know, there's other people have gone through challenges and come through them. And it's, I cannot recommend these books enough. They're illustrated beautifully too, not by Ellen. I can't remember the name of the person who illustrated them. I'm so sorry. But I just think they're fantastic. I know last year I sent The Girls Who Slay Monsters to basically all of Mikey's friends in England. I was like, this for Mikey. No, it's not. It's just a great book. I think every girl should have. And the name of the author? Ellen Ryan.

Okay. So that's one for kind of tweens and teens. That's one for kind of tweens and teens. And yeah, I think from ages eight and up, I think it's such a beautiful book. Older teenagers will love it too, but cause some cry. She's really done a good job of catering for a very wide age group. This is the winner of the KPMG Book of the Year Children's Book Ireland's Awards, Unsung Stories from Ancient Irish Myths Reimagined for 9 to 12-year-olds is what they're recommending that one for. Do you have anything for the teen, the difficult to reach,

or are we still Richie Sadlier people who are like I think I cannot find that bloody book in our house but I do think for the teens it is Richie Sadlier's book and what is that called again Joe um let's talk about relationships and uh all there's a massive title on the cover but it's let's talk Talk About Sex. It's essentially the talk about relationship, sex and intimacy by Richie Sadlier. And I know that's another award winning book. And I think he's another one on the way out. I don't know if that's if I look, that's a little handbook, though, for forever. Yeah.

Incredibly well written. And Richie has obviously worked in schools and is yeah a therapist himself and it's all the questions that we're uncomfortable like it is us we are the problem when it comes to the team because there's so much we don't know yeah and it's also new soil yeah right so there was um a police chat at our son's school explained to them about dispersing video content images or even liking those images and how that implicates you as well. That's territory where we've never been in. No. And I do feel like there's a real concern among all the parents of teens and those that are even young now going, this is all ahead of us.

If there's one thing the Richie book does, even if you never show it to your kids, is it calms you. Yeah, it helps you a lot. It gives you the language. I mean, there's so many things that come home from school and I'm like, oh my God, I don't even know what that is. And we think we're keeping up. So it is ever changing. And that's a really helpful book. But the acceptance of that

is where Cam can be found. So now we're in the section. That was a nice little neat segue into books for you. Yeah, into books. The parents. So we're done reading it out and being a little presenter.

Now it's the ones that you read quietly in your bed at night while your wife is snoring in my case. He records my snoring and plays it to me in the morning which is really mean. Yeah, but just to let her know because she's one of these people who says i don't i know for a fact that i don't sorry uh so yeah i'm just gonna run through these these are books that our listeners have recommended and i picked the ones that do them right they're reluctant to go for these books because they're half the reason they're listening to the podcast

is because these books are sometimes yeah that's why I'm only mentioning the ones that were repeatedly mentioned. Okay, okay. So these come from you guys. Yeah. They're right. And again, the book I am going to say is, again, The Secret of Childhood by Maria Montessori. It is a hard read

because it's really badly translated, but it's a really good insight into... Why doesn't somebody do a good translation? I think it's because these books... I cut you off there. It's a bad translation, Italian to English. Yeah.

About what? It's about the developmental... Milestones. Yes. It's one of her books that deals with 0 to 6 because obviously Maria Montessori dealt with from 0 to 18.

So there's millions of books you can get on about Maria Montessori. But the books I have are the books from her actual AMI association. So they come directly from like, it's still in her family and you buy these books and they're really badly translated, which, but, and they're very like, you know, lecture, you know, like academic, that's the word, and lecture, to be honest. Right, so hit us with the recommendations from the listeners. Okay, so we've got a book called Good Enough by Dr. Becky and then another book called Brainstorm and the Whole Brain Child by Dan Seagal.

Both those books were recommended a few times by our listeners. Good Enough by Dr. Becky, I can see it here. This is a pretty reasonably priced book. You can get it for about 14 euro on Amazon. And yeah, it looks like this thing is getting amazing reviews. Have you looked into this at all? No, I haven't read this book, but this one came out like, I mean, I was going to say a million people. A million people did not recommend this book to me, but it came up. I put out a call on Insta last night, and this book, these two books. This book came back again and again. Yeah, recommended by the New York Times, NBC, Times, CNN, Good Morning America.

So this is a bit of a phenomenon. And she is a business in herself. She offers workshops for every single problem. I can't believe we have never heard of Dr. Becky. You know, I haven't. Not until last night. Yeah. It's really good to get these recommendations. She also has a parenting community that you can join. Okay, stop telling people about this woman. Okay. I'm joking. That's really cool. That's really good. But please don't listen to her podcast. Stay tuned.

So this other one that came up a lot and especially, this is especially important because a lot of books only deal with early years, whereas this is where the bit of childhood that, to be fair, I found the hardest too. It's called The Four to Seven Zone and it's by Dr. Coleman Nocter. And a few of the parents who got in touch with me with this actually have children who have maybe extra need. And they said they found this book really helpful that way. So that's The 4 to 7 Zone by Dr. Coleman Nocter. That's a good zone to talk about, right? Because there's so much for 1 to 3. Yeah.

4 to 7. And 3 to 6. 0 to 6. Grade 8. 4 to 7. Yeah. It's a whole different ball. What's the name of that?

Is it Dr. Gabor? That fellow who's always on YouTube, who's always up on our channel. I love him. I don't agree with everything he says. I don't agree with everything he says. I don't agree with everything you say. I don't agree with everything I say. I'm ever changing.

Do you want the children to feel loved? Charlotte, this is just annoying. Stop doing it. You look at him and say, I love you once a day. Okay. Great. Hold him. Sure, he's forever saying how he

regrets everything he did with his own kids they're all grown ups now Jarlett I cannot take like stop it Tina hates when I do voices

yeah another book that was we got in a few times is called The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Philippa Perry

and that is a book I've heard about a lot why don't we just get these books what why don't we just buy them all because we don't need them It's called The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Philippa Perry. And that is a book I've heard about a lot. Why don't we just get these books? What? Why don't we just buy them all? Because we don't need them, Ger. But like there might be cool stuff that we haven't thought about talking about on the pod. I would love to get these parenting books.

Absolutely. Christmas presents. So are there, Gina. Imagine, imagine. Yeah. How bad the reaction would be if I bought you parenting books for Christmas what was the worst gift I've gotten you

for Christmas that pink jumper oh a pink jumper just because they put fluff everywhere jeez you haven't got shit gifts have you

it nearly made me go blind but Tina it was so fluffy I had it fluff in my eyes the whole time I couldn't see and then I wore it

in my dad's new jeep like you got me that 20 years ago and I destroyed his jeep and I couldn't see and oh my wore it in my dad's new jeep like you got me that 20 years ago and I destroyed his jeep and I couldn't see and oh my god you were in Christmas

that year my birthday's on Christmas so your worst Christmas present from me was a pink jumper that was too fluffy Gerard nearly made me

go blind it was too fluffy it was too cosy I nearly went blind get in touch with your worst Christmas presents

what was your worst Christmas present for me you didn't get one oh last year at the Orca yeah that was a

that was a surprise that was a bum steer by Granny Byrne let's be honest no no no you leapt on this idea that I wanted you were always

ordering sparkling water in restaurants I thought it'd be cool you were always going I'll have the sparkling water with a dip of lime. And I was like, oh, I'll get him, Matt. I see. You think about it when you get a present wrong for a kid, though, and they can't hate it. Why?

That's all for next week. We've got to cover all of that there's so much to talk about in the lead up to Christmas so what have you got for us in the recommendations we've got three goodies there yeah

I think that's enough over on I don't want to overload okay well and then I've got the gorgeous Helen Carr who's with O'Brien Press and really knows her stuff

got in touch to say she could literally recommend every book they have, which she knows she can't do. From O'Brien Press. Yeah. Because she stands all over them. She stands over them.

She does. But she said, here are my top suggestions. And I think this is super helpful. What are you doing? Nothing. This is, her first one is called

Tread Softly, Classic Irish Poems for Children. And I love that because we're not reading enough poetry to our children and children love rhyming. So this isn't a helpful book. This is just a good book. Yeah, this is just gifts.

She's like, if you want to get your child. Stocking filler. Yeah, and that's important. People don't know what books to get their kids. And this is a beautiful poetry book. It's perfect for the whole family for engendering a love of words and spending special time together. I love that. And it is by a person called Nicola Reddy, I think. And then she said all the Puffling books are so cute and about doing things with the help of your friends. And the latest one especially is brilliant because it's about one little bird helping a smaller one not to be afraid of the dark perfect for bedtime i love that so that it's that one's called it's too dark puzzling by jerry daly and erica mccann and i'm going to ask jarlet to read the next one because my brace is making me sound crazy and this one deals with the topic of anxiety so pain in my

chest by anya murray yeah and And Illustrated by Brona Lee. Adventures, Friendship and Gaelic Games. Because I think it's important for kids to see the country they live in represented and not just have these US and UK books. That's what Helen says. That's very true. A lot of these books are about, you know, another place, another time. And Ireland is a very specific place.

Yeah, and we should be supporting our Irish authors too. Yeah, so there that is. Well, that book that she's saying representing Ireland is actually The Lost Cup by Emma Larkin and that's about Gaelic games. The pain in my chest is specifically for anxiety. All of those out on Brian Press, wherever you get your books.

Yeah, that was like pain in my chest. What's that got to do with Gaelic games? Got shouldered in the chest. To be fair, I always had a pain in my chest. A lot of stress. Turned out you had a heart problem. A happy ending. Yeah. Come on over to

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we always go a little bit further, get some replies, go a little bit deeper into some of the problems that we've seen over the past while, get closure on some things. And of course, you won't just get Honey, You're Ruining Her Kid over there. You'll get hundreds of hours of podcasts for when you manage to just steal a bit of time to yourself or when you're on one of those many, many club commutes in the car. You'll have something to listen to while you're waiting outside training to be over.

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Tina thanks so much. Thank you Jarlett and again if you have any emails just pop them into us at honeyyouareruiningourkid at gmail.com

and I have lots of them to get through so bear with me. Lots and lots of good episodes to come. Talk to you soon.