Honey You're Ruining Our Kid - Ep 15 Tina's Christmas Parenting Life Hack, Sink Poos & The Controlling Child

Episode Date: December 18, 2022

Worried about relatives who interfere in your parenting at Christmas? Concerned your kid will go off the rails the second Santa comes? You need to hear this week's episode. Tina gives us her number one life hack for defusing those awkward Christmas moments in front of your family and friends. We get an email from a Mom whose kid won't stop pooing in her sink! He refuses to poo anywhere else and this Mom needs help. Thankfully Tina has an answer and strategy for extreme toilet behaviours that seem never ending. Finally we hear from a parent whose child is living for screen time. Is there a way around this addiction or has the horse bolted. Tina thinks there's a way to make your screen time part of the answer. Over in the extended Patreon cut of this episode we hear from a parent who can't get her twins to play together unless the female of the two presents herself as a male! There's also parenting news featuring a famous Mom who refuses to buy her kids Christmas presents. (www.patreon.com/irishmanabroad) Don't forget to email your questions, stories and situations to [e-mail]. All emailers remain anonymous and we reply to every single message personally.

you're very welcome to another episode of honey you're ruining our kid it's the christmas season the christmas season is upon us it's also our last episode of 2022 i know it's our christmas holidays christmas holidays tis the season to have relatives interrupt your parenting and tell you that i think you're being very hard on them thank Now, that is where we're going to go with our first question today, because we've received this question from a bunch of different people around preparing for the Christmas season and facing into what you know is going to be pressure and wading in over the top from relatives, from siblings, from grandparents who think they can make the calls for your kid once you're in their company i would love to know tina what's your advice for these people

well christmas we both know is the toughest time to be a parent because your kid's been given the keys to the city santa has come even all bets are off Even if they weren't the best they could be, Santa has still come. He's like that. Yeah, yeah, he is. That's how he rolls. And they kind of are on, the children are in such a high, they forget what's good behavior, what's bad behavior. They're just, they're just. You think they forget?

I think they're just hyper. They're not thinking about being good anymore. They're like, give me a break. I'm good for this guy the whole time. And also, they've just gotten so much it's hard for them to it's so overwhelming for them and also you're seeing your family way more than you normally would and your kids are having to go and visit people not way more than they normally would so so there's two sides to this you're saying that there is the kid behavior is amped up yeah and people are going and that's

what you were seeing in the emails. There's a lot more expected of kids at Christmas than we give them credit for. Yeah, but people are saying in the emails that you've read that their kids behave erratically around Christmas time when they take them places. Yes. Not only are they going to be interrupted by other people parenting their kids. Yeah. But their kids just aren't themselves. Yes, and we see it all the time. We see it at relatives parties and stuff.

The kids who are going wild and the mom and dad who are just completely defeated mortified and don't know what to do and there's a really easy way to to get a handle on this you know my number one go-to thing is talk to your child about what you expect them to do before you go to wherever you're going at christmas right so this is get them ready on the way tell them we are going today to auntie finula's house okay auntie finula okay great choice of name team imagine what auntie finula is like well auntie finula's house and everyone's going to be there everyone's going to be there and instead of saying to them things like and if you make a holy show of me I will bring the world of pain in and you just tell them exactly what is going to happen we're going to get to our house we're going to say hello we're going to be welcomed by everyone we're going to go around and we're going to say

happy Christmas everyone has had Christmas not just our house so you're going to ask people questions about what their Christmas was like what did you get people're going to ask people questions about what their Christmas was like. What did you get? People are going to ask you. It's normal for you to tell them and to be happy about what you got. Also, I think, you know, prepare your kid for every single bit of that day. You're going to have dinner there. You're going to talk to people. Then we're going to go home and then you're going to be back in your own bed and everything's going to be fine. But while you're there, you've got to have manners. You've bed and everything's going to be fine but while you're there you gotta have manners you gotta have your best behavior anything you think you shouldn't say do not say it anything you should think you shouldn't do do not do it because if you do i am going to parent you and that's when the parenting advice comes in don't

do that in front of other people okay well can well, can I jump in here for a second? So to start with, I love this piece of advice, and you've been saying this since episode one, the now and next thing. Oh, always. Kids need that. Kids need it. First of all, we all just assume that our kids know what good manners are.

You were saying actually prepare them in the car that you're going to meet your uncle paul yeah you will be expected to shake his hand and say happy christmas to you uncle paul yeah and then you'll be allowed to go and play with the lads well for years charlotte me and you people have been going oh my goodness mikey has the best manners yes that's because we spent the whole way in the car over here telling him exactly what was expected of him and what he has to do you may need to rehearse this kids don't know how to do that. You have to model good manners and good behavior.

Absolutely. Role play it if you need to. We've role played loads of times before. Role play going into the house. What's going to happen? Role play. Oh, for God's sake. For the sake of baby Jesus.

Role play how to accept a present. Please. There is nothing worse than a kid getting a present and the poor parent being mortified because that kid goes. Or just runs off with it. Or just throws it away. Tell your kid someone has bought you a present. They will never buy you a present again if you don't receive it well. You say, thank you so much.

I love it. Even if you already have it. You say, thank you so much. I love it. Give them have it you say thank you so much i love it give them a hug they think you're a hero they think you're a little darling they don't know expecting this that's for sure they don't know your mom and dad have told you to do this they just think what a sweetheart so why don't you suggest to tina and like we have talked about this before hitting record yeah and the reason why i love it so much is because you're kind of i don't it's not pulling the pin because that implies that the grenade will eventually go

off what you're doing is uh diffusing yeah before it can go off what is a potential problem here so if you've seen this in previous years and this is what the emailers who get in touch with this are going i can't have another situation like last year occur where they got high off their faces on whatever sugar was available and actually told me to flip off so what i love about your answer here is you've diffused what is potentially going to be a problem in terms of these kids are being little brats when they're in this house because they think all bets are off. But the questions that we're getting are, what do I do when Auntie Fanula goes, of course they can play Xbox and watch Gremlins? Showing my 80s references right there.

What do you do when those relatives are waiting in on top? Shannon's showing my 80s references right there. What do you do when those relatives are waiting in on top? Is that part of the preparation before you go in? I think what you have to tell your child is you have to arm them with, I have to ask my mom. Anything they get asked, they're not sure the answer. I have to ask, I have to check with my mom, I have to check with my dad. Also, you do have to tell that child that you know we're going to a social gathering and there's social expectations here and if you misbehave today there will be a consequence for that behavior

then if you see them misbehaving you do not parent them in front of the family right take them out say come with me i need to talk to you about something yeah you can even pretend it's exciting they don't have to know they're in trouble you don't want to show you something yeah come here to me it's like my friend who got kicked off the air when he was on sky friend of mine got kicked off sky one one morning on soccer am he was on soccer am and the producer said come out here chris just want to show you something and then he never got back into the studio right but that is really good tactic parenting by the producers yeah but that's what you do yeah that's what you do you say to get them out of the room rather than going young man no come over here now yeah because then everyone's involved yeah everyone in the

family is keen on this and you don't want that you got to keep it private so you go come with me i need to show you i actually need your help with something out here then you get them out to a private space and you get there into their level and you say i am coming in with a warning now right so it's warning first always warning first i told you this morning what was expected of you you are not living up to that expectation now i'm giving you a warning and if this behavior continues that is your choice you are choosing the consequence i'm terrified i'm terrified but it's it's great but i'm just looking at the intensity and tina lies as she says it and it's just so it's so spot on the warning yeah talk to us about the warning because this is what really gets kids crying is like they didn't

get a warning and they get told, that's it. No switch for you. Oh, yeah. Well, going in without the warning, it's just not fair. It's disrespectful to the child too. Everyone deserves a chance to cop themselves on. Going in with the warning can just save you the trouble as well of having to deal out the punishment. Go in with the warning.

You've already told them it's very important that you tell them the expectations you have for them before you go then when you pull them out privately and pretend there's something exciting happening and you get down to the level and say i'm watching you you are doing exactly what i told you not to do this is your warning you continue to do that you and then you say whatever the consequence is that is going to happen and you say now that it will be your choice i've given you an opportunity now to not make that happen if you do it again you are choosing for that to happen is there anything to be said for an owl bribe no bribes don't work no bribes no bribes no you shouldn't

have to bribe your kid they should just do what they're told no bribes okay no bribes don't work. No bribes. No bribes. You shouldn't have to bribe your kid. They should just do what they're told. No bribes. Okay. No bribes. Jesus, are you probably like you behind my back? Is this happening? No. What about Auntie Vanilla?

Is there, what do you do when they are actively coming to you going, you are being terrible. I think you are crossing a line with that boy. You have to meet it with laughter humor just laugh it off and walk away because otherwise what's going to happen there it's just gonna that's gonna end badly and laugh in her face you just go oh you're so funny that's yeah oh sure you know me and then walk away ah sure ah sure what can i do what can you do sure you know me and then walk away ah sure ah sure what can i do what can you do yeah but like it might be that easy to laugh it off if antifanula isn't just on her own if it starts to become a bit

of an intervention but that's why i mean this is what but that's why we're telling you to don't parent your child in front of everyone take them somewhere safe take them somewhere private some of the emails that we're getting on this subject are what do i do when it's when i see my child being parented by someone who is not me or my partner how do i get in there and be like excuse me uncle david i shouldn't say uncle david well that's my brother's name i just i like uncle tony okay uncle tony uncle tony's got a checkered past he has a history of being a gobshot poor tony tony's uncle tony uncle tony is down giving some just overstepping the mark well how do you stop that in the same way you go to your child you say uh i need to show you something.

Come with me over here. And when you have them outside the door somewhere private, you go, I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I'm so sorry that Uncle Tony was giving out to you like that. Tell me what happened. Or meet it with empathy. Be like, what happened? What's going on? Why does Uncle Tony feel like he has to give out to you? Tell me what happened. Or. Meet it with empathy. Be like. What happened? What's going on? Right.

Why does Uncle Tony feel like he has to give out to you? And then figure it out with your own child. And go back into the room and ignore Uncle Tony. Hmm. Like. Yeah. So. So that's in the event of him.

Actually scolding. Your child. Yeah. And I do think that that's. That's going to be cut and dry. Because I think that that's a bit of an 80s thing. Do you remember being smacked by. Oh.

Complete strangers. Complete strangers strangers all the time the man on the train is going to come and get you is something that has been done to me where i'm sitting opposite a kid who's misbehaving on the train they're going that man over there they're like i have nothing to do with the situation that man is going to make you get off the train. I'm like, lady, you parent your own kid. Stop using me as a threat. When Uncle Tony isn't scolding, but he is making autocratic decisions as to what your child will do, we're talking about actual conflict resolution here, Tina,

outside of the brilliant advice you've given on now and next and the warnings like this might be you know beyond what you do on this podcast each week this is actually a family matter where it's like I have trouble with these emails

well you have to be very careful about the conflict you could cause by getting into it with Uncle Tony. Because we all parent our own way. Now, Uncle Tony has overstepped the mark parenting your child. So what can you do there? You can diffuse it by taking your child away, empathizing with your child. Try to get to the bottom of, well, what's happened?

What's going on here? That's awful. I'm so sorry that Uncle Tony was talking to you that way. What cause that? Sort it out then with your own child. Come back in let's uncle tony brings it up again don't because he did overstep the mark and i'd imagine by taking your kid out of the room hopefully uncle tony will have noticed he shouldn't have done that yeah you see you were dead set against pulling tony out by the arm and going listen tony i'll parent my kid, that doesn't lead to any good.

Because then Uncle Tony will say, well, you're not parenting your kids, so someone has to. And then you'll say, don't tell me. That'll just go around. So avoid it at all costs. Yeah, absolutely. See, I would be of the mind that, you know, you don't wait in and get involved in a conflict. I think everybody knows that that christmas can be ruined especially in an irish house yeah by a couple of crosswords when people have drink on them yeah but

i feel like there is an argument for saying to tony or whatever relative is starting to step on your role that look i'm working on this with him at the moment you need to leave that to me because uh he and i are very clear or you can just say thanks tony i'll take it from here and you just take your kid out okay somewhere private very important you don't parent your child in front of everybody else look Look, your advice is great on this. And I know that you're due to talk about this on News Talk this week on the Pat Kenny show. So I'm looking forward to hear what you say there. But it's very clear you need your kid on side first and foremost. So that when they're being parented by tony yeah they go okay uncle

tony i'm gonna have to go and ask my mom about this that that's their default reaction and in that way you're a team yeah yeah and and if it comes to it that uncle tony does do that to your child it's a great way of just just fusing the situation as being like oh what happened are you okay i'm so sorry uncle tony just go outside and let the air out of Tony's tires. But, you know, like, I don't know about you, but I was definitely afraid of my aunts and uncles as a kid. Like, I would like to think my nieces and nephews are not afraid of me. They know I would never come down heavy on them. My aunts and uncles, they were pretty tough on me, I think.

Really? Yeah, tough on us all. Like, they would definitely parent me and give out to me. No problem. I'd never give out to my nieces and nephews. I just wasn't giving out to you that much as a kid, in case you can't tell. My son takes shits in our sink. You heard me correctly.

That's our next email. He says he likes to put the poo in the toilet for himself. I've seen this before. Fair play to this email if we're getting in touch with this. My son is five years old. This can't be normal. I think she's right in saying that. It's not that unusual.

I've definitely seen that. I've seen that in my classroom. I just did a total double take there, guys. You've seen this before. Okay, good to know. So that should calm this email straight away. He said his older brother told him that it was okay. I love that.

He says his older brother denies this. Of course he does. He did it on a day... Oh, no. He did it on a play date last week sorry for laughing he pooed in someone else's sink oh my god how's he he's not even reserving this that's the other thing he's a gymnast so i know it's out of control now am i raising an animal i don't know what to do or how to get through to him i have four boys there you

go there's the next problem i have four boys but this is a first for me he is my youngest have i been too lax with him i am starting to panic what if he does it at school he probably has already let's be honest please help me make this nightmare behavior end. I love your show. Can't live without it. Thank you for the space to share my shame. Okay, did she say what age he was? Did I miss that? Four.

A four. I pull in the sink, I four. The truth is, I have seen similar stuff like this with boys. Boys can either be completely fascinated by their poo or just refuse to let go of their poo. Boys can have a terrible time actually letting go of their poo. Go back to episode one, if you want to hear that. That email was dealt with at the early doors. Really common problem.

It can be then the other extreme of it is the fascination with the poo and the shape of the poo and the smell of the poo. That doesn't end. No. God, Charlotte. But, I mean, this is hygienically not okay i mean you can't be handling your poo you can't be doing your poo the same place you're supposed to be washing your hands um it has to stop well is that the first step is that explaining that well yeah it has to stop first of all you

have to come in with the i'm so happy that you're okay doing your poop you have to you can't come completely heavy on this proud of you no i'm so happy i said i'm so proud happy with you that you are great at doing your poos but now we have to start doing the poos where poos go we can't even get into his reasons for doing it in the sink because it's just not okay he said he likes the way it feels i'd imagine that there is a little bit you're up a bit higher you can see the room you can wash it down the sink he's in control there's a bit of play going on with this i think you have to just explain to him that it's absolutely not okay it's actually dirty so he's going in there and locking the door.

This is the thing. So it's like she can't get in. Are you doing your poo in the toilet? He's up on the sink going, yeah. Well, he's obviously proud of it. He's obviously talking about his process. I mean, four-year-olds are agents like that. They're forever. Do you take the key out of the lock?

Well, I imagine he's not going to the toilet by himself. I imagine he he leaves the door open i'm trying to think of every four-year-old i've ever worked with they're incredibly proud of their toileting like they like to tell you about their wheeze they like to tell you about the poo it's like sometimes they will hand you a poo you know like i'm just saying it's not it's not it is awful but it's not awfully unusual and is it fixable of course because you're just gonna have to say you're not allowed to do that and what you're doing is wrong and there's a reason we have toilets and we have to put in the toilet because that is where the poo you're gonna have to teach your child that the poo is waste coming out of your body and there's dirty

things in it and that's why we have to put it in the toilet and wipe our bottoms and flush it away and then go to a clean place that's supposed to be the sink and wash our hands and you're going to have to say to your child i can't trust you to be independent and go to the toilet on your own so until you start until i know that you are now not using the sink anymore i have to come with you to the toilet, I think. Okay. She's going to have to monitor him and try and get it that he wants to earn her trust again. You're definitely going to have to tell the teacher.

So underneath this behavior of pooing in the sink, a sentence that I never thought I'd say on this podcast or ever in my life, is some sort of fascination with getting to see the poo up close and dispose of it is there so huge yawn from tina there i'm not unused to that in our I talk about running, comedy, basketball, my emotions. And then the derisive laughter comes. No, you're right, Gerard. Is there a way of making using the toilet more fascinating?

Talk to him about plumbing, how it's going to go down here down this chute oh yeah that's a brilliant idea the whole process of it also get one of those toilet lights i love those i'm always banging on about getting a toilet light but it is a point here there is a process he's enjoying definitely i mean you can tell him if you really like to see your poo before you flush it have a look have a little look but you can't hold your feet i do think the advice is very clear and it's really it's really straight you're gonna have to go to the loo with this kid until yeah well that behavior is make the behavior yeah it's not hygienic it has she knows that and i think that but praise him for the honor sorry for cutting

over you there jared praise him for the honesty for telling you about it praise him for doing his poos yeah what do you say to the mom of the friend who's sinking food well the chances are if he was on a play date it was probably

with another disgusting boy four year old and the other mom's not shocked at all because if you're a mom and this mom is a mom of four boys

so I mean I love boys I think they're brilliant I don't like making generalizations but Jesus Christ some of the stuff they do you're like really mom is a mom of four boys so i mean i love boys i think they're brilliant i don't like making generalizations but jesus christ some of the stuff they do you're like really it's hard thank god they don't do it now dear tina and jarlett i love this show i've been meaning to email you for weeks but haven't had a

chance to sit down i'm concerned about my son He's an only child and now seems to be obsessed with gaming. He absolutely lives for it. We've tried to make it only a weekend thing but now he wishes his life away until it's the weekend. I don't really mind the gaming part. It's the mood changes, the gaming mood swings that come with it. Ratty, back chatty, really out of character for his behaviour before he discovered gaming. But now the norm. What can I do? He's 12. I'm lost.

Please help. Well, I mean, I feel feel seen did you write this yeah like i'm like that basically is our situation same problem at the moment no disrespect to mikey if he does tune in but this seems to be virtually when you read this one out to me before we went on air i was like that's a carbon copy of the situation we find ourselves and we don't allow him to game till the weekends he didn't have any interest in gaming up until a short time ago until lockdown when it was the only way for him to stay in touch with his friends and because he's a numby child like this listener we felt really sorry for him so we completely encouraged it because we were like god he has to have contact with his friends

um now it's even worse because we've moved countries and that's the only way he stays in touch with the countryside yeah but what have we done and what can i tell this listener to do what we've done is we've kept a time limit on it we know we can't take it away so we have a time limit on it where it's two hours on saturday two hours on sunday which i think is fair enough that's enough time now do we pay for those two hours absolutely we do because you can't avoid the mood that those screens do to your kids it's just why is that i think it's because they're completely 100 invested in the game their concentration levels are so high and they're so stressed out while doing it that they come out of it completely worn out completely haggard from the whole experience

of gaming it's not fun to be around them when they come off but i think we have tried to explain that to mikey and we've we have tried things and maybe this person could too, of saying, you need to go to your room now and just chill out and read the book and come back to us when you're able to be, you know, a nice person again. somebody on this that didn't we get advice from somebody on this that after they come off the danger point is to let them float yes that actually they need to go straight to a new activity and not be allowed kind of more in the loss of gaming now i'm back in this boring ass world hopefully mikey doesn't list this because the odd time he does we actually try and keep him so busy that you know there isn't time there isn't time yeah and that has that has been really good right well one of the things that i think i see an awful lot with parents you tell me if i'm wrong on this is them complaining that their kids won't stop gaming

yeah and them not actually offering their child any alternatives involving them like actually playing board games with them because board games are so boring see there you go boring board games tina he way prefers and they way prefer yeah they do this is true time with mom absolutely and the board game then this video gaming thing yeah as as hard as that is to believe as addicted as your child may be i fully believe they prefer kicking ball with dad or table tennis with ma. Of course. But it is actually really hard to avoid. You can't avoid it because if you're avoiding gaming, you're making your child's life really difficult. Sure.

But my point is that sometimes it's a harsh reality for parents to get into their brain that you are at fault. The reason they're gaming is because they don't see you available to play with them. Yes, and also, let's be honest, while they're gaming, they're busy and you're free. You're completely free of them when they're gaming. So that's why it's also a fault on the kid, but a fault on the grown-up, the responsibility of setting a time limit. It just does. And that time limit is on the grown-up, the responsibility of setting a time limit. It just does. And that time limit is respectful to them and respectful to the family. You can't take it away.

Just like we talked about last week at the WhatsApp. There has to be guidelines. There has to be rules. Now, I empathize with this person so much because we have the rules. We have the time. It's still really tricky. I feel like we're being as fair as we can with him. it's still really tricky i feel like we're being as fair as we can with him it's still really tricky but you just have to be like that's it those are our rules on

this this mom sounds like she's doing everything right yeah i feel for her i really feel for her because i've all i can say is what is in your power the only thing in your power is to put a time limit on it i mean there is we've often recommended that people watch The Social Dilemma with their kids. Yeah. Because it awakens them to the idea that the maker of this game isn't an altruistic, kind being. That the person who created this wants you to stay here all day. Yeah. I mean, I remember when i was addicted to tetris and i think the turning point

for me was when i couldn't close my eyes without seeing it it's an alarm bell i was like oh this is so annoying dreaming of getting one of those long lads i couldn't even daydream anymore all i could see was the the blocks going into each other the look let's be honest you can't take it away you just can't so you put a time limit on it i think that's fair and you tell them you've got two hours not two hour blocks this is your two hour of your day right so you can set a timer it's also a good way of getting them aware of time management yeah we have found that they time it they they use their time as they want to that day. They stop the clock.

But they don't get to carry their time. Is it possible suggestion that you do a rules of the house thing again? In previous episodes, Tina has talked about situations where behaviour is out of control in the house. Sitting down and having a chat about what are the rules of the house.

If the kid's mood is out of the house, beyond the pale on this, maybe you need to remind them of what can and cannot happen in this house. And if they are going to consistently break those rules, then I'm afraid games are going to have to go for a while until you get your shit together. Oh, sorry. That's a given.

That is a given. I'm sorry if I didn't say that. I mean, just because they have to game and it's part of their life doesn't mean it's a uh you know a human right yeah yeah it's a privilege they're getting to because you're a nice parent and you've allowed them this time allotment in their day like i mean i know this is going to make me sound like the most meanest mom in the world but mikey hasn't been tying his laces and like it's out of control and I gave him a warning this week and I said if you come out of school with your laces tight untied you're losing

Friday gaming privileges and he arrived out of school with his laces on pride untied and I said okay that was your choice you did that and that was last week now this week we didn't have that problem because of that me following true but like i know i used his gaming as a punishment there but i don't know if this same for this mom but that's all he cares about so that was the biggest thing i could reach for so and it worked so yeah i mean if they're if they're not behaving appropriately you can definitely say well i'm coming in with the warning now you're not going to get to game on saturday if you continue to behave that way is the idle threat the most damaging thing you can do as a parent yes because they that diminishes any respect respect they have for your we all do it i've

never seen you do it but i definitely have been guilty of the i idle threat i wish i could do an idle threat i hate the fact that i followed her and everything through every single time but god it works if you just your kids want to know where they stand final thing i'm going to ask you on this tina do parents need to look at their own screen time habits? Is that impacting here? Is that worth having a little look at? If you're trying to reach your child, that is a great compromise to say, this is a problem for me too. We'll both do it. Especially if they're 12, because they're a young adult and you kind of have to.

Like, I'm learning this too with Mikey and, you know, I have to reach, I have to compromise, I have to empathize with him. And that would be great. That would be like, I'm doing it too i'm that's great i love that yeah we'll all do it we've all got a problem here i'm a bit crankier too because of my screen let's sort this out that is our show for this week i want to give a massive shout out to my ma who is turning 80 this week huge shout out to maura regan another teacher just like tina who set the standard for parenting in my life and celebrating 80 years of life this wednesday massive shout out to taty and maura and can't wait to celebrate that huge shout out out to Dee Reddy, who's recovering well from her little setback. To everybody over at Go Loud, including Keela Brogdon.

To all of our emailers, everyone who's been in touch throughout 2022. And I'm loving all the emails, but I would love, lovely listeners, if you stop saying, don't use this email on the show. I'm getting so many emails in that i'm getting back to but they're like can you not read this out i'm like i'm we're not into naming and shaming people you gotta let me read some of them out that is the deal you will always remain 100 anonymous and please keep the emails coming in to honey you are ruining our kid at gmail.com we'll be back after christmas happy christmas everybody happy christmas and happy birthday to tina new year's eve and also uh if you are around wednesday morning

and feel like tuning into news talk and sending some love my way i'm going on to do pad kinney pad kinney show as the parenting slot and I'm very nervous and I really would appreciate any warrant send a text yeah I'm a bit nervous

also I want to shout out that we have one extra question each week over on the Patreon version of this podcast

this week's one is a doozy this is an extended cut of Honey You're Ruining Our Kid available on patreon.com forward slash Irishmanabroad and in our this week's one is a doozy this is an extended cut of honey you're ruining our kid available on patreon.com forward slash irishman abroad and in our extra bonus question this week it's a question from a parent whose child is refusing to play with his sister unless she dresses as a boy

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