Honey You're Ruining Our Kid - How To Get Your Kid To Eat Anything, TroublesomeTeens & More

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

Just like you guys, our heads are melted after a very busy midterm. As always we are here to help you guys survive and enjoy your kids. We have three great questions to get to today and then we have a very important announcement in this week's episode of Honey You’re Ruining Our Kid. Question 1- How do you navigate the terrible twos? When the parents will is challenged by the toddlers will things can get out of control so fast. If your child is refusing to do anything they are asked how do you get them to play ball and live by the family rules? There are three simple steps which if followed can impact your life immediately, listen in to today’s episode where Tina explains and breaks down the mechanics of each step. Question 2- Fussy eaters can drive you round the twist. Worrying about your child getting enough fuel into their body is a never ending stress. What can you do about food refusal? How can you get your kids to explore new tastes? Tina explains her full proof Tina’s Tapas technique. Trust us, this method works every single time. Thank you for tuning into another episode of Honey You’re Ruining our Kid, for the bonus question head on over to Patreon. www.patreon.com/irishmanabroad Question 3-Teenagers are they our friends or our foes? We think they shouldn’t be either. Surely our role as their parents is to be their constant. Their rock of stability in this crazy world. How do you navigate the teenage years without losing them completely? Is it even possible to maintain a relationship with your child during these tumultuous years. Just as discussed in today’s podcast - Honey You’re Ruining Our kid is hitting the pause button. Emails will remain open, we will always be here for you guys but the podcast won’t be recorded for a few weeks. Life is a bit bananas at the moment and we are playing catch up. Thank you for all your understanding and support. See you soon. www.jigser.com/gigs

The post midterm honey you're ruining our kid from the Irishman a broad podcast network with me, Jarnadur Egan the comedian and Tina who is the one with the knowledge. Yeah, I hope so. For 20 years I've experienced working with the most severe and profound behavioral issues you can imagine so whatever you send in to us Tina will have seen it and worse so there's no worries there and we saw some stuff. We did and of course in keeping with this podcast we were not quick to make any judgments. No judgment this is the zero judgment parenting podcast. But there was a few times where I really wanted to go over and just go guys I can make your life

so much easier right now if you just do this one thing. And the place I found that the most was on the plane home yesterday. We had a crier. We had, I mean, babies cry. That is no problem. We all get that. Like, you know, and some days babies have bad days and, you know, they're teething and, you know, they're hard to reach.

But like these parents yesterday, they seemed like a really cute, lovely young couple with a young family. Yeah. But they had surrendered to the crying on a level that I've never seen. They were so obviously so used to the crying that they weren't doing anything. They were just sitting there like the radio was on. I was like, OK, guys, you're on a plane You're on a plane. Yeah, you're on a plane. It's crazy. Like at one point, the air hostess said,

the people who are playing their movie really loudly need to put on headphones. And I was like, no, that's all they've got. Because the minute the movie went off, oh, my God, the screaming began again. And I mean, I haven't heard screaming like that in quite a while. But I was at the gate as well. Yeah. And I was like watching this going. Is this their kids? Because they weren't even.

Yeah, it didn't even seem like they knew how to distract the kid. What would you do there? So people are planning their booking their summer holidays in probably because I'm so shy to book and things. They probably already have that done. Me and Jar keep diagnosing ourselves with ADHD. I'm not diagnosing myself. Don't include me in this.

I keep doing it. You do. Every time there's something about me. A tick-tock diagnosis for ten of us. Maybe I have ADHD. Maybe I do. Quite a few things. There's a lot going on. Yeah. Listen, if you're on a plane,

or you're taking a kid away on a plane and they're a crier, what's your advice? Well, we travelled so much when Mikey was a baby because we were living in England and I was very homesick and I was coming home whenever I could. And I can't remember which of the moms. But this is why a mom network is so important was like, just make sure you have something for them to either suck or drink the whole time on the plane, because their little ears are going to be affected, especially if they're teething.

And this little girl definitely seemed like a teeter yesterday. And what it does is if they have something to suck or drink, they're not having those times where they're in pain and they don't know what's happening. Like yesterday, I really struggled with my ears on the plane, as Jarla's well knows, because I complain about it all the time. But I knew, I knew the screaming was worse at certain moments because I was like,

yeah, my ears are hurting. Of course that baby's ears are hurting. But like even just a lollipop, I mean, it would have kept her going. They would have helped her. I just was flabbergasted at the lack of they had no toys with them. They had no toys or books is a flippin' odd choice. They didn't talk to the kid and they seemed like lovely people. Distraction is the key. But at the same time, we also know people who have done transatlantic flights where

the child just does not interest in any of it. Yes, that's true. They nearly had to turn the plane around on this couple we knew. Yeah, no, that is not an exaggeration. They nearly landed the plane. Now, this kid yesterday wasn't as bad as that kid. But like, I just felt sorry for the kid because I was like, you know, at one point, a tiny little brother who was tiny, he kind of had seemed to have had like a brainwave to maybe interact with the kid.

And it did work because they were right behind me. But I was dying to get involved. I was dying to be like, here, throw over to me. You never would, though. I would have loved it. Like, that would have been in my happy place. That would have been my happiest journey ever. But I just, you know, you need a plan.

You need to bring little toys, little activities they can do on the plane. You need that. That is a must. You need to... And some dozo. No, we saw that too another time. Oh, my God, we saw kids so dozed up. Getting chloroformed on a plane my God, we saw kids so deformed. Oh my God, that was disturbing. See, Tina picks up on different things to me

when we're on these midterm breaks or we're doing these tour shows. We was in Leicester Square Theatre for four nights. You just said we was in. We was in Leicester Square Theatre for four nights last weekend. Sold out, four sold out nights. Thank you very much. My J.Low is killing it. I'm so proud. Thank you. Thank you very much. My JLo is killing it. I'm so proud. Thank you. Thank you very much. He's actually blushing.

It was it was a lot. The week was a lot. And I know that it's a lot for the two of ye because, you know, I'm used to it. I've been doing years and years touring and gigging in much smaller venues. And you do develop a resistance to it. So I'm out doing my runs while these two are recovering at the Airbnb. And honest to God, some of the midterm stuff I overheard. Yeah, people who just aren't getting to spend time with their kids.

We're all working so hard. Yes, that is something that's alarmingly obvious. And they're like, they don't, they're interacting with their kids like they're coworkers. Why are you shouting? What are you shouting for? Like the kids for. But they're also so stressed out.

Yeah, because they're so aware. They've got this little window of time and they don't want to spend it parenting, but like it's very tough. You heard some crazy stuff. Kids were up a tree in Hyde Park and one kid was going up behind him going ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh He's making more noise than the kid. And then at the one that really stood out though. And like I've multiple ones of these, like the things, the conversations you're overhearing. But this dad is trying to get a picture of his kid in front of this Chinese arch at Chinatown.

Toby, come on, come on. I don't know why they were all from the North of England, but Toby, let me get one photo of you in front of the arch, in frontal arch. No, don't want to. Call Toby, just one photo. He's obviously photoed out. The kid is just one of those kids that won't get in photos.

And he covers his head with his hood and the dad, you know, clicks his phone shut. And as I'm going by, I can hear him say, you bastard. I always find the photo thing hilarious because we're so consciously photographing and documenting our children's lives, most kids are over it. And what you're trying to capture a beautiful moment, but we're ruining all these beautiful moments with our expectations for the photo. A lot of the time. But if they just let you take the photo, it discreetly wouldn't be an issue.

And also, they're going to be the best documented kids ever. They have amazing montages of their childhood that will be put together by the AI on their phone. Make a montage of the first 25 years of my life, all photographed by your adoring parents and set it to the music of Coldplay. And Kendrick Lamar. Twenty first birthday invitations will have to come with a warning,

one hour video to be shown before the party really kicks off. Oh, but I just think that they're just they're just going to be done with all of it. I think that they're the vanity of social media is going to reach a tipping point where it will be seen as really gauche to have your pictures and stuff, but who knows people love themselves. Maybe these kids will grow to love themselves too. I don't know. If we don't over photograph them. We've got three questions for you as always submitted by our listeners anonymously. Tina's got the answers for you

and we've got a big chunk extra over on Patreon, as always. And we have to full disclosure. We have a little bit of announcement about the pot. Yeah. Later on in the show, we'll talk a little bit about what you're going through. We're going through completely frazzled, spread too thin. Something's got to give. So we're going to talk about the future of the podcast and what we what we're going

to do for the rest of 2025. So stick around. We've got three great questions coming. I wouldn't eat. I thought pretty much I would eat anything when I was a kid. Like these emails are coming in. This next one's coming up is about kids eating. I mean, I was a dustbin because I was

literally just, it gave me some food. Yeah, but that's very unusual I think for you because your mother was making exotic dishes. But when I went to other people's houses I would eat nothing. I remember being sent to our next door neighbour's house to stay for a week or two while my parents went to the Canaries. Which when you think about it. And they brought the rest of the kids and just left you behind. They brought the others and I was to stay with the neighbours. Because apparently I really liked school. No, it was me and my two sisters and my

brother got to stay at his best friend's house, which clearly was the best, sweetest deal ever. But we're staying at our next door neighbors and I wouldn't eat anything like I was not eating a thing. I can remember they put spaghetti down and I liked spaghetti. But this shit, this was not the shit my mama made. And I remember not eating it right. And I can remember the mom of the house going, your mother told us you like spaghetti.

And I was like, not this spaghetti. My sisters were so embarrassed. They were like, Charlotte, eat your spaghetti. I can remember them through gritted teeth as this mother left the room. Eat the spaghetti. And as she this mother left the room. He does procreate. And as she walked back into the room, six year old me went, it's disgusting. And she heard me.

She heard me. It's funny the way you could be embarrassed as a six year old. Yeah, and also what was disgusting wasn't the food. You were just missing your mom, you know, the comfort of the. I don't know about that. Hey Tina and Jar, I love the podcast. Thank you so much for all of your hard work. And this is such a fascinating listener.

I feel way less alone as a parent. Well, that's the aim, isn't it? I have a 22 month old daughter who is the best crack. She's just starting to get to the age now that when she's told no, if something's not allowed, or more importantly, not safe, she just starts thrashing and screaming, usually repeating whatever it is she wants to do.

Door open, coat off, get out of car seat, etc. I usually try to distract her. I'm sorry for laughing. But it feels like that's getting harder now. Also, I've tried letting her thrash it out, then offering her a hug when she's done. I hate having to force her to do anything. It just seems wrong to overpower her, Though sometimes I have to, yeah, absolutely. As long as you're not hurting her,

I mean, you're in charge. Yeah, gotta get you into the buggy, as this mom says. We've all rugged. Gotta get you into the car seat, keep you safe. We've all rugged our kids home from a park. We've all done that.

What is the best way to handle this, is her question. I'd also love if you could recommend some reading material around the boundaries and the discipline for toddlers. So the introduction I gave to this question was incorrect. Yeah. And I didn't interrupt you. You know, I was thinking about it. I could see you going to.

Don't interrupt. That's a good question that you teeter. But the next one is. If the listeners can't tell, we've spent way too much time together this week. So tired of listening to you. We have been living in London together with our kid in an apartment that was actually gorgeous, but not as big as photographed and we're just been a little bit on top of each other.

And why would this be evidence of that? I don't know. Because you. I thought we handled that well. I am teeing up the next question. Okay. This isn't totally unrelated. This is a situation where...

It's a battle of wills. You need your kid to do something. If it's eating, a lot of the time when they won't eat, the food will go on the floor, or they can generate a situation where... And I imagine that she hasn't even mentioned the eating. It's probably another part of this. I don't want this.

I just like me and the disgusting spaghetti. Yeah, it's just such a. I find these questions particularly hard because for me, it's adorable. I just love a spirited girl like that. I love it. And it's just, you know, what it is, is treading the needle of, you know, keeping their spirit, but also not allowing them to develop behaviors. I mean, your child can't shout at you. It's not OK. But it's great

that they have it inside them where they have the confidence to do it. Yeah, you can't say to your kid, are you shouting at me? Are you shouting at me from my own home? I beg your pardon? This little girl feels very safe because she feels safe enough to assert herself. And it's lovely. She feels loved. It's very hard as a parent to go, oh, great. My kid feels loved and delighted. They're treating me like this. Yeah.

But she mentioned reading there and I'm look, the Maria Montessori books are really hard read because they were translated terribly from Italian to English. But any Maria Montessori book you can get your hands on for this age will just open your eyes to a whole new world and you will leave that book understanding exactly why toddlers do this behave this way. You know, they have their own internal order going on. They have their own sense of the world and they really, really are struggling to with that order, you know, they're trying to assert their order over yours.

Yeah. And they everything makes sense in a certain way to them right now. And it's very black and white. And sorry, the cats in the office and it's really making me feel the heebie jeebies. To the to the-jumies. To the podcast. Very calming. And I know that, you know, the cat doesn't seem related to this story. But, you know, she says she's tried distraction. Would it be, would I be right in saying

distraction is foolproof, but you've just got to find the right one. That if her distractions aren't working, she needs to think of better ones to distract this kid. Well, I always think, and from my experience, it's not even about what the activity you do with the distraction, it's more about the energy you give doing the distraction. The game show host.

Okay, so when you say distractions, the only time I would tell parents to use them is if your child is tantruming, and you are never ever gonna get through to them. Okay. Why get involved in this argument? Yeah, yeah. Just bring them somewhere else.

And that's when I always suggest that they're little. Let's all do suds in the sink. Yeah, if they're little like this, you know, let's go, you know, put bubbles in it. Do you know what I mean? It's laughing so much because I really don't like the cat. And he's been so sleazy, rubbing up against me.

That's interesting. The cat, the distraction is really a last resort for if it's a case of, all right, this kid's off the reservation. Yeah, and if that's the personality of the child, if you know that this kid, if you know, like as a teacher in a classroom, if you know the certain kid who you see it about to happen, get in with the distraction straight away.

OK. Or they're already in a tantrum. Distract them. You can always talk about it later. But like, do you really have the energy for the fight? Some parents get lost in needing to be right. Whereas actually, you just need to survive this day and you're teaching your child something but they're not calm, they're not in a receptive space

right now. So bring them, do something else, have a laugh and when they are calm talk to them about how they behaved, how they talked to you, how you don't like that, what you want them to do the next time and move on. And with this age group particularly, it's really, really effective. But as an aid to her, what she needs to do is stop. First of all, be careful not to ask your child a question. Will you put on your coat? Will you put on your shoes? Because the minute you ask them a question, you have to respect their answer. Do you go, you can either put on your coat or I'll put it on for you.

Well, I wouldn't go with that. But if you've made the mistake of saying put on your coat and you're in a bit of a cul-de-sac, then you can do that. But what I would do is offer choice. Choice is really important because you're controlling a choice and they get to feel like they made one. So you can be like, I don't want to put on any coat. Yeah. You hate when I do that but like I'm just saying this is what she's facing

into. You can either put on your red coat or your blue coat. I don't want to wear a coat. Well then if that happens and I do hate when Jordan does that, you just have to stay really calm and you hold out the coats and you say something like I'm waiting for you to make your choice and they might kick back again that's fine you just stay really calm and you say I'm waiting for you to make a choice and then if the time is going on you go okay mommy has offered you the opportunity to make a choice now I'm gonna count to five and if you have not made the choice by the time I get to five I'm making the choice for you One two three four five blue coat put the blue coat on Okay, so let me just ask and I'm not trying to annoy you. Yes, you are you are you go one two three four five and on five

Kids snatches the red coat out of your hands. Do you go do not snatch or do you take the win? They snatch the coat, the opposite, but the opposite color that you chose. No, no. They do what you asked, but on the final second and they whip that coat out of your hand. Oh yeah, just ignore that behavior. And when they're wearing it and they're walking with you or they're in the pram and they've calmed down and say, I love that you made your own choice today. Thank you for putting on your coat. So you reinforce the good behaviour and ignore the bad.

Like it sounds silly, but like really just try and avoid fights you don't need in your life. You know, and also the first few times you do that, there probably will be pushback. But when that kid realises that when you say, like if they don't just go with the realizes that when you say like if they don't just go with the choice when you say okay I've given you a chance now to have a choice I'm gonna count to five when they know you'll follow true you will not have to do that so often if your child thinks you won't follow true the tantrums always get bigger. That was always the problem with me. He knew well. And they can smell a softie. Yeah they can and they will push it because why What's the problem with me? He knew well. He knew well.

And they can smell a softie. Yeah, they can. And they will push it because why not? They're exploring. Are you a deal maker? Are you a deal maker? Was the question Tina got asked. Are you a deal maker?

One kid asked her, are you a deal maker? Which is like totally kids going, well, I believe it's possible to cut a deal with certain people. Are you one of those people? It is amazing because you do your training, you work and work with kids for a million years, but really, what is the secret to getting kids

to do what you tell them? If they know you'll follow through, then they're like, it's not worth the hassle. I really feel like this mom needs to offer choices. I really feel like this mom needs to get in with the distraction rather than have a tantrum with her kid. And I also think this mom should be using now and next because at this age, they want to really need to know they're not, they don't feel safe in the unknown.

So they like, you could do a visual schedule for her of the day, or you could just do simple things like now we're eating our breakfast and next we have to put our shoes on. You're putting your shoes on next, we're going to get our coat and we're going to the shops, then we're going to the park. They just need to know it just they really do. It'll just calm them and they have like a little bit of a window into their day and they feel a little bit more calm. I feel like in the three seasons of Honey,

You're Raining Your Kid, I've really got a crash course in this Montessori method and these techniques. And if this person is looking for material and it is hard to go back and read stuff on this, have just have a deep dive into the series because there's so many moms that have come to us with this exact problem and dads where it's like, my kid doesn't take me seriously and everything is an issue. And like you said, those parents we came across in London, those parents are not being taken seriously because unfortunately they're

working so much, not around enough. It's very, very hard. But with the Montessori approach, you know, I'm a crazy Montessori person. I love it so much. It is so hard because any nuggets of wisdom you see on Instagram or beautiful, they're basically Montessori, like everyone has adapted it into their philosophy when it comes to children. And really, if you can find a good Montessori book and you've got time to read it, it will give you a window into your child. You will understand them more.

And you can do Montessori, study the kid from 0 to 18. So the whole way up and she like even these outdoor schools for teenagers that they're really only understanding now can help these off-the-rails teenagers. I mean this was a philosophy she had and a theory she developed a hundred years ago. It's unbelievable. Let me ask you really quick before we move on to question number two, which is around eating. You say that this follow through is the key now and next, letting them know what's coming and it's respecting them, respecting that will.

Yeah. There's obviously two people involved, maybe three if there's grandparents around or others or even a nanny. Do you all need to sit down and talk through what you're discussing here, Tina? Do they all need to go, well, look, here's how we're going to approach this and we all need to do it the same way, because that's a tricky one too. That's an ideal world. That really is. But like it'd be fabulous.

But that is an ideal world because it's very hard to get other people, other grown ups. Especially grandparents. Yeah. I mean, also, if you have a nanny, you know, she's going to... Do what her way. So, but I do think that if you are able to follow through with your child, like you mentioned there earlier, we had issues where Mikey would not take you seriously. But I had never had that ever. I said it. That was it because he just knew.

And it was so easy. And we got to see that he has it in him to push back and to make a deal. And what's the word negotiate? We never bothered because he just knew there's no point. Yeah. OK, well, I hope that's a help. And as I say, the full archive of Honey Rainier Kids are available on Patreon. And that will be a collection that is there for forevermore. So your favorite food as a kid, Tina, has revealed.

You're never gonna guess. Take three swings at it right now. I would have said chips. No. I would have thought chocolate or sweets or some kind of junk. Nope. Why? Why would you think?

Potato cakes. Yes, potato cakes are my all time favorite. Potato farls. Yeah, potato cakes. Yes, potato cakes are my all time favourite. Potato farls. Yeah, potato cakes. I love them. I don't know why. And when, how often would you have potato cakes? I don't know, but I always remember begging for them. Like if there was an occasion. Begging.

Yeah. If there was any occasion, like I remember from my Holy Communion, they were like, what meal do you want? And I'd be like, potato cakes. I don't like it. And for my birthday, I'd be like potato cakes. But you're still mad for the potato cakes now in your 40s. Yeah, I just made some this morning.

I've had two potato cakes already today. But Tina, just for you guys, we're going to talk about these fussy eaters here. OK, you're the woman giving out the advice. Yes, Charlotte was fussiest eater. Still am. Still is. That's why I'm trying to help people. It's like, where do we go for dinner?

I just look at you and I'm like, look, I'll eat anything. Why don't you just pick where we're going? But that's a bit different at the moment because my brace makes it really hard. Brace me, hold. She has braces right now, but I mean literally, I haven't had an onion in 25 years. I'm not the only person doing that.

She won't allow me onions. I will, onions are gross. Onions are central part of some of the most delicious foods in the world. No, they're a food runer. They ruin everything. Well, I think it's hilarious that she's going to dole out some really solid advice here again on somebody with a pussy eating kid. But I never got away with not eating my dinners.

I mean, that's why I'm always trying to help these kids, because I just, you know, I didn't want to eat the food I was being given, but I had to. I think you were when we consider your Tick Tock ADHD diagnosis, which she's just given herself this week. I change my mind every few minutes about this. I think it was a control issue. Absolutely not. Fek off, Mr. Charlotte Regan.

I will tell all of these people on this podcast that you're kids, control things, but not me. I was just a kid. No, I know what it was. I didn't like textures and I know that that is now. That is a, oh my God, a sensory thing. A dead giveaway. I didn't like the textures or look of food and the colours and stuff. It's a, oh my God, a sensory thing. I didn't like the textures or look of food and the colors and stuff.

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. We're eating a lot of liver. Like, why? Liver helps us play. Tina and Jarla, I need your help. How to get my five year old to try more foods. So am I right off the gate here? So this person does have a kid that eats, but they're not adventurous. I mean, that's really common. I'm so glad we're doing this.

Yeah, I feel like their kid will eat, but they're just not trying. Your guide throughout this is a woman who has a kid who would only eat. What would you only eat, Tina? Banana sandwich. When out of the house. Banana sandwiches. What would you only eat, Tina? Banana sandwich. Went out of the house. Banana sandwiches. Or tomato sauce sandwiches. Tomato sauce sandwiches.

So don't feel bad. This is a woman who's grown to the size that she is now. The height that she is. Jesus, Jarrod. Watch it. I'm in need of advice. I've got two stepdaughters, a three-year-old and a five-year-old. To start with, the three-year-old would eat

just about anything. She's no problem eating even spicy foods, sweet foods, not a problem. We've been trying to get the five-year-old to try new foods lately as she's soon to start school. But she absolutely refuses, screaming screaming throwing a tantrum before even considering tasting it would you ever do that? No.

Just don't even bother. Oh no but that's what I mean I always had to eat it. Well so you had to eat it. I knew there was no point. But you had a preference right. But inside I was just miserable. This kid is fully throwing the protest. She's unlike any other kid I've seen this.

This listener says she only eats sweets, cereals, pop tarts, waffles, pancakes. She's Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation. She eats eggs or bacon and tortilla for breakfast. And she only eats chicken nuggets with mac and cheese or cheesy bread from Little Caesars for dinner. You know all my favourite foods too. American listener here. She used to eat mashed potatoes, but now refuses to eat that. She has never tried pizza.

Oh my God, welcome to Flavortown. My mouth is watering at the thought of pizza right now. It's only 10.30 in the morning. When we tell her it's essentially the same thing as cheesy bread, but better, again, the tantrum, until she gets her cheesy bread. Lord, this is tough, Tina. I don't know how you're gonna do with this. And this morning, kind of took a turn for the worst

when she refused to eat breakfast, her breakfast taco. It had the exact same things that she eats in it every day, eggs, bacon, cheese on a tortilla. But again, screaming and throwing things before she even tried it. Hours later, she did. Just to say it's tasty. She wouldn't even swallow it. So super stubborn here on this, right? So controlling stuff, right? Yeah. And also maybe there's more going on here for this little girl. Like this is very, seems very attention based.

She says she casually eats two bowls of cereal in the morning or two eggs with bacon and pancakes with a clean plate at the end. I guess I'm just wondering how we get her to try new things before just putting whatever food on her on her plate and saying, eat it and go to go to bed. And she says as a final note, obviously she eats lots of little snacks throughout the day as well. I'm talking about real meals here. Yeah, that's an interesting little note at the end there because,

you know, my father was always like, if he's hungry, he's eaters. Yeah, well, maybe the snacks are impacting the. Oh, yeah, I never even thought of that, but I guess because I would be quite sympathetic to this little girl, knowing that I also was a bit troublesome as a child I do find this email a bit troubling because She is eating. I mean how many parents out there are dealing with actual food Refusal but the issue here seems to be she's not trying as much foods as we want

So really the issue no no no no, no, no. Let me finish. The issue is I'm a lecture. Yeah, but like the issue seems to be that that parent isn't getting to eat the foods they want at dinner. I disagree. They're having to cater to the kid. This parent is saying. Very soon, you're going to be going to school

where you are going to need to be trying and available to try new foods. Why does she think that? Because that is just not true as a teacher in a school. Yeah, but the food couldn't be plainer. Like they know who they're dealing with. It's very boring food. Well, Tina, I don't know. Like I'm willing to take, not take sides here, but I'm willing to give this parent the benefit of the doubt in that I think you were failed on this and that- That's a bit much.

Yeah, no, I wasn't failed because I did eat the food. Tina, you're in your 40s now and you're not willing to try new foods. Like what? Come on. I eat everywhere. What are you talking about? There's certain foods that you'll eat.

I don't like onions. And the vast majority of the things on the menu you will not try in your forties. No, I prefer to see it as there's stuff on the menu I don't want to eat. There's stuff on the menu I do want to eat. And I just choose to eat them. Why would I try something I might not like I'm just watching the grown-up version of this kid who now has a bar cat. Why would I try it? This is the kid's thought. Why this is the kids' talk. It's like, mom, why would I try it when I know I'm not gonna like it?

That's you as an adult. No, as an adult, I know I definitely don't like onions. And unfortunately, they're in fucking everything. But Tina, you have to take this on the chin. I will not. You don't try new foods. Like what? What are you talking about? You know all kinds of foods.

Tina, I'm willing to go to a new country and see what's on the menu and be like, well, this is what they eat here. This is the cuisine. I'll try this. And I'm always grateful they have a European option. And you're like picking... This is a woman who I said I'd love for us

to someday visit China. Oh, it's Charlotte. And she said, but will they have Chinese food? I didn't. I said, will they have a tree in one? I said all the food in China is Chinese food because it is Chinese. She wanted to know what they do, like, from crackers. And a tree in one with cashew nuts. Curry chips. Oh on my face.

Like this mother is raising a concern and maybe I think might be a bit too concerned all at once about it. Yeah. And that the process of getting your kid to be adventurous and willing to try stuff. Yeah. I think kind of grows with their world view. Absolutely. And also look, okay, yeah, I'm not the best eater and I definitely wasn't when I was a kid,

but I have from working with children and knowing kids, Charlotte Reagan, stuff rolling in your eyes. I know what works. And every time we've given this advice it's worked. First of all get the kid involved in the cooking. That's a very natural way for kids to explore foods. When they go to school now way more than ever they learn about all different countries in the world and they explore the different foods of the world. That happens in early years now and it's fabulous and you will

see kids watching to see if their friend tries it and then trying it after them and enjoying these new textures and stuff. All things that weren't available for us when we were kids. It was very plain. We grew up in 80s Ireland, you know. Also, we know, tried and tested, worked for us. And I think there was a time when our kid was even fussier than I ever was as a child. Tina's Tacos, that Gerald had named and now I say TAPAS, I'm an idiot. Sorry, Tina's Tapas really do work and with a child like this they really will work because

unfortunately you've planted a seed now. This mom has made it that her child is deciding not to try new foods because gets your attention or you know, just a bit of a fuss and for whatever reason, kids actually enjoy the attention. But the tapas will work for this parent because if you want to introduce new foods, very simple, plate up the dinner in bowls. Leave empty plates in front of your kids. We don't want to put pressure on food when it comes to children. If that child is eating enough food so they're healthy that should be where we're happy. But also I get it they need

to try new things so a really easy way to do that is so if you're making I don't know a pasta dish put the chicken in one bowl, the pasta in another bowl, put the pasta with the sauce in another bowl, put the veg in another bowl, put the bread out and always always no matter what make sure there's something in one of those bowls that the kid will definitely eat. Pop some big serving spoons in there and just sit down to dinner and allow people to explore without you putting pressure on them. It might not happen the first few times, but slowly and surely when they see the process

of other people taking from the bowls and putting onto their plates, they will be more likely to give things a go because there's no pressure. It's open, it's freedom of choice. Takes away the dialogue. And you're bringing an atmosphere of exploration into dinner, rather than eat your dinner and get out of here, you

know. And we've seen it work time and time again. We really have. This really does work. You know, it sounds like and it would seem that a lot of people have the intuition that they'll just eat what they only bowl. They will if you make a big deal out of it. What you have to do is not make a deal out of it at all.

Make it just a fun activity. Now, you will praise the other kids that is trying. No, you don't comment on it. And it seems like they're already doing that. They're comparing them really quickly. But also, you'll phase this out. Eventually, you will be able to put whatever you're having for dinner on the plate in front of them.

But for a little while, there's going to be a little bit more work at dinner time, a little bit more plating up. But it does work. It really works. OK, well, good luck to this parent with us. We'd love to hear back from you. And I know that we always try and give you kind of closure on some of the stories that don't know, do we have any of those this week, Tina, in the Patreon section? Yeah, we have a few people who've gone back to us. Okay, I haven't got them in the notes for today. Well, come on over to Patreon to

hear the rest of our show. And our third question this week, what's it about? It's a teen question. Yeah, it is a teenager question. And also before we go, though, shouldn't we talk about what we were saying? Yeah. Well, look, I'm in the middle of probably the craziest work period of my life. I'm really concerned about my health and so is my doctor. So I have to pair back on certain things. And Honey, You're Ruinning Our Kid will take a small break while I finish one or

two projects like this book that I'm writing at the moment. And with that, it will return as soon as we can. We're talking a couple of months. And we're talking the episodes because the emails will stay open. If you need me, I'm there for you. I always will come back to you with a plan. I'm very happy to keep the emails going. And the minute we can come back, we'll be back.

But I, Jarla didn't want to do this, but as his wife, he's just juggling too many, he's spinning too many plates. And I feel like this is one of the ones where we can pause for a little while Yeah, I know you guys will understand that and we'll come back with a vengeance with all With all of your emails that are thank you for your support Yeah, like Charlie said there's a lot of episodes out there. We're extending the tour. That's the other thing Yeah, so something's got to give the tour is extending and this is an exclusive for you today We're announcing shows in Australia

We're coming to Melbourne Sydney Perth Brisbane and we're going to New Zealand to do Auckland We're adding two shows in Chicago a show in Wexford in the Spiegel tent on October 16th a show in Wexford in the Spiegel tent on October 16th, Port-au-Ferry, Mullingar, Newbridge-Thurles, Dunleary and Blanchardstown have just been added because more or less everything is gone on the tour except for some tickets in San Francisco, Toronto, Portland and Boston but it's been wild it's been a wild wild year and we really appreciate the support and hopefully we will see you at a show in the coming months thanks again and catch the rest of this episode over on

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