Honey You're Ruining Our Kid - I Think I'm Raising Critical Kids, Dads & Periods, Sibling Conflict S2E32

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

Welcome back to another episode of "Honey! You’re Ruining Our Kid". On this week's episode we explore this new generation of natural born critic kids, healthy sibling relationships and Tina’s favourite subject- menstruation misery. To hear even more on when it might be time to take your kid to a specialist go to the XL episode on www.patreon.com/irishmanabroad Question 1-Have we shaped our kids to criticise rather than celebrate talent? In this week’s episode we discuss the steps you can take to retrain your children to enjoy rather than destroy what they are watching on tv and in the wider world.Question 2- Raising teenagers is so hard, even harder if your wife has passed away and you’re now navigating all the teenage girl stuff on your own. When she feels like she has never needed her mum more how can you fill those shoes? Is 14 years too old to not have started getting your period? Where can this dad go for advice and how can he reassure his daughter that everything is going to be okay? Question 3 Sibling relationships can be so tricky. As parents we try our best to manifest healthy relationships between our kids. It’s not always possible. What do you do if you notice that the older sibling isn’t being kind or fair to the younger kid. How do you rebalance the relationship ensuring fairness going forward? Thank you for listening in to another episode of Honey You’re Ruining Our kid. Our show only exists because you guys support it and help it grow. We are so grateful. 

What do you do if you think your kids are watching too many judgmental TV shows like Strictly Come Dancing and Bake Off and it's producing kids that are hypercritical of everything they see in the world. I'm laughing about it but Tina it's our first question of the week. If you hear a little croak in my voice I'm very sorry about that it's very uh it's much more voiceover kind of voice well our Regan household has been as sick as a small hospital for the last few weeks we just seem to three weeks of illness we just seem to roll into one thing after another it's well I call what

Mikey had for sure uh yeah but i'm just so hardy i'm just able to shake it in a couple of days i don't think tina would agree with that she didn't uh barely complained at all oh have i been bad no no all good sure i'm trying i'm honestly trying my best. Yeah. And I recognize this is your best. Well, let's hear this question. Let's get straight into this one, because this one really piqued my interest the second you showed it to me. Hi, Tina and Jar. Loved the show so much and was reluctant to get in touch with this question because it's a hard one to put into words.

I have three kids, four, seven and ten year old girls. They are obviously the light of my life, even if they drive me to distraction a lot of the time. I love them to bits. One of my favourite things to do as a family is to watch telly together as a group. I hate the trend of everyone branching off and being on their own screen. So I tried to bring us all together on Saturday night specifically to watch something we can all enjoy. Strictly Come Dancing, British Bake Off, The Masked Singer, The Voice. Any show where people are doing amazing things like that are our favourites. Here's where the problem begins.

Recently, I've noticed the girls being hyper critical of nearly everything. Assessing and judging everything openly in Paul Hollywood style could have been better. Or even worse, Simon Cowell, that's just awful. Don't quit the job. I mean, it must be hilarious to hear your three-year-old do this. Well, at least she's seeing the funny side of it. She says it's awful to hear them do it. I try to stop them and say that everyone is trying their best,

but they just do it again. We're talking about their friend's art, ads on the telly, my husband's birthday card for me, the haircut the boy next door got. They obviously fancy the boy next door. That's my first thought there. I feel like showing them these shows has created this.

I don't want to stop our telly nights together, but I feel like this is out of control now. Thanks again for everything. Anonymous. Oh, wow. Oh, wowie. Well, I mean, it's a great email to have gotten in because it's a massive problem, isn't it?

It's a troll culture. Yeah, we have actually, now I can completely see why she's going to these programs. Her idea of it being a way to bring the family together is excellent. We have avoided these types of programs because of actually the problem she's having. We've kind of seen it in different you know i've recognized it other places yeah yeah you hear what she's describing like i would hear it a lot in friends of mikey's discussing you know people's performances at the talent show or wherever and they were like definitely seen it thinks he's good better than he is that kind

of comment definitely seen people thinking it's okay to be gordon ramsay in public oh my god we definitely have yeah yeah yeah and it i know and i felt like and you did too that it stemmed from people thinking they can get you know they watch x factor like she said bake off and they think they're allowed to just critique everyone yeah yeah that when somebody performs they're putting themselves up to be uh smacked down or put in their place and certainly as a creator yeah as creators and that's probably why we're not we don't lean towards these programs so much. We've definitely actively turned away from Dancing with the Stars and the Ice one. Well, I just, I can't cope when people get judged harshly because I feel like, well, you're not up there doing it, are you?

Like, you know, you haven't put yourself out there. Yeah. But there's also, there's lovely things to these shows. Like, there's such a lovely spirit to uh strictly come down to like that sometimes the judging is just like i just wonder does she really think that this is the only place they're hearing judgment because you know she's pinpointed the tv shows as the problem and maybe it's because she's recognizing the vernacular that they're using as being similar.

What's your man's name on Strictly? Oh, I don't know. Len Goodman. Is that it? Do they shout seven out the window of the car at people that are doing really good stuff? Because I said years ago that I believe that comedy shows at the Edinburgh Festival should only be reviewed if reviewed if they're really good if they're not good keep it to yourself well i my problem with reviews is that you know everyone has a shit day at work and i i always believe with comedy especially that you've got to give a comedian at least three chances because you just don't know like you

just you might have just got them on a bad day. Yeah. But that's not what we're talking about here. But I know what you're saying. Is there a way not to have to end your Saturday night TV thing and instead start looking at the criticism that the acts are receiving and saying, well, that's not really constructive, is it? That's not helpful. Telling them you're terrible uh that i don't know what you were thinking singing that song uh like if you're like it was used to be these phrases like you don't if you have nothing positive

to say don't say anything yeah like i mean i like that you know definitely but then are you criticizing again in a different way it's so hard like we used to love that show nailed it because it's just ridiculous if people don't know the show nailed it it's the opposite of bake off it's so the opposite they're given an impossible task yeah each of the cooks knows they can't cook they can't bake you know that might be the antidote right i think so maybe it shows the absurdity of these these shows and you know reveling in the failure she is right though like it's a problem i think it's a massive problem you hear it all the time a lot of people think they're allowed to critique things now because we're in a critiquing culture yeah let's take away the the tv shows from

us and let's say in your classroom you had a kid who when somebody would stand up and sing a song would go that wasn't very good yeah you would what would you do you come down on that pretty quickly yeah not in front of everyone you take the kid aside and explain that you know that wasn't helpful and that child put themselves out there and we're very brave to get up there and they don't need to know what you think so maybe that's is that i'm asking you because you're the one giving the answers here uh is that what this mom needs to do is that when somebody is criticizing somebody harshly on the tv you need to nearly pause and go i don't think that was very nice yeah well also i think you need to when it comes go, I don't think that was very nice. Yeah, well, also, I think you need to, when it comes to Strictly Come Dancing and X Factor,

you need to explain that these judges are actually the top of their fields. And they are in a position of getting to critique because they actually are the best of the best. And they, you know, they are the scout people or they are the talent searchers or they were the best dancer, strictly. And that they're really qualified and they are the talent searchers or they were the best dancer strictly and that they're really qualified and they are trained and they know everything inside out and that the people who are on the show have put themselves in a situation

where they know they're going to either be praised or torn apart but it sounds like the crack that they've been having it sounds like that's the problem oh man she's so out of time with the music It sounds like the crack that they've been having. Yeah, it sounds like that's the problem. Is it going.

Yeah. Oh, man, she's so out of time with the music. Yeah. That thing's got a soggy bottom. Yeah, and that's the thing that we had noticed as well, that the children were. Well, we spotted Mikey not criticizing, but giving a rundown of your dinners once.

Do you remember that? Oh, my God. We had been watching... Bake Off. We've been watching a lot of Bake Off. We had been watching a lot of Bake Off, and he started kind of giving me feedback on my dinners. Feedback on the dinners.

You know, Mommy, these vegetables. Yeah. I was like, you better be fucking kidding me. The chips are good, but the vegetables... You're right. I forgot about that. I was like, Michael... But he thought he was being nice he thought

he was being super helpful yeah yeah so i wonder it like it is a it's quite a complicated question yeah both of us are so low energy today we're like i don't know figure it out well i guess you're trying to it's a cultural shift isn't't it? It is. In your classroom, you wouldn't allow it. Wouldn't allow it. I mean, I do think the mom needs to say, guys, would you like to hear someone say this about you? Are you able to receive this? Because I really think that is a really, still a very powerful thing to say to a child. Fine. to say to a child fine if you are happy saying those things you can only fully commit to it if you are equally as happy to receive that kind of criticism yourself and if you think you would not

like it don't do it to somebody else and maybe keep an eye on your own judgments and what you're at yourself i remember one particular incident as a young lad where a kid made a comment about another kid's house who wasn't present and his mother you know nearly dropped the pot she was holding at the time yeah because we were all like he had said that this lad's house was was a shithole basically and uh his mother was like what you'd never comment on somebody's house like that and he said to me afterwards sure every time we leave somebody's house we talk about what kind of house it was and he was like i didn't do anything we don't do all the time why she's getting mad at me like he said this to me yeah unconscious

behaviors we're not even aware of that our kids take as normal so when you leave a restaurant together as a family do you all critique the food or do you try and pull out what you love the most yeah i guess you're right look for times they're not going to stop this now they're not going to say it's going to be a very hard pattern to break and it's a culture we're in this culture we're in this but what you can get them to start doing is to reintroduce light and positives and get them to find something they did like about it yeah yeah yeah right we're vote wrecked but i think that's pretty solid and they're really good of this person to get in touch uh with the question if you think you got a complicated question

take your time send the email when you're reading your kid at gmail.com just to say some some people are gonna grow up to be judges yeah yeah someone will be a len goodman or simon cowell and no yeah but also um most of us aren't i know most of us will try to do things she could just be raising a really incredible judge what is your kid being secretive is your kid keeping something from you do you know this but they're somehow managing to destroy the evidence or just you just have a sense disappearing messages that's it you know deleting things setting fire to notes do they say things like when they're on the phone can't talk now

hang up the phone it's pretty par for the course we're going to be talking about that over on patreon.com forward slash irishman abroad and the extended cut of this episode it's a very big topic so that's why there's a big extra chunk over there for you to enjoy every week just for five or a month that's all it is you support the show we're able to keep making it keep a roof over our head and uh we get to get deep into the weeds a bit more discussion on a topic like that where we have a bit more time and space to go through it because right now we've got to get through our three questions for this week and the next one tina it is a very sad one like let's be honest i i don't know how this dad is doing it. This is, I guess, triggering. If anybody has suffered the loss of a partner,

this is going to be difficult. Or anybody who suffered a loss during COVID, just to let you know. Tina and Jarlith, I am so in over my head here. I'm a single dad. My wife passed away during COVID and I've been struggling to raise our beautiful girl. My daughter hasn't got her period.

She's 14 years old and all her friends seem to have theirs. I don't know how to reassure her. I'm starting to wonder if she is a little bit late getting hers. I'd love to get Tina's advice on the best way to talk to her about it. How can I help her calm her mind about it without coming off as the man who thinks women are always overreacting very very tough because they're both feeling the absence yeah and it's the most time she'll feel like she needs her mom yeah because she's like she's probably you know when we know that teenagers just think parents don't understand.

And she's definitely going to think dad doesn't understand this. The way mom would. Yeah. Yeah. First of all, it's not unusual for her to not have her period yet. It's getting more unusual in today's world because girls are. Is that true? Yeah.

Girls are starting to menstruate. Younger and younger. 11 year olds, 10 year girls are starting to menstruate more younger and younger 11 year olds 10 year olds are starting to menstruate and which is so tough what's that about why is that um nutrition yeah and developing faster yeah the i mean it's very very normal now for girls in fifth class to have started having their period fucking hell how tough is that it's really tough i think i mean actually not probably not the best day for me to talk about it because i definitely have my period i have not noticed honestly that is not did not and i just think periods are so unfair and i hate them wait you're you're having period now yeah what charlotte said to deal with my mood.

If I said it one more time, you'd punch me. Yeah, yeah. No, like, Tina, you really, I think that that feeling you're describing there of, they're not fair, they're fucking pain in the arse. Oh, they are literally pain in the arse. Might be the angle for this guy. Yeah, but she hasn't had her period yet.

But this is what I'm saying. What? Remember, you wanted yours so bad. So bad. And you wish that Marty had arrived in the time machine and said, young Tina, you don't want it.

It's a pain in the arse. Yeah, I know. But like, he's not going to get through to her because she thinks she's not a woman yet. She's not. So I really think my advice is

you need to go to the doctor with your daughter okay and you need to maybe um ask for a referral to a gynecologist and just set her mind at ease or go to a family is it important that it's a female doctor i don't think so but i definitely would prefer a female doctor myself it just it's easier to relate to them there can be more understanding even just going to a family planning clinic or something like that just somewhere where they can tell her you know everything's okay or maybe get her bloods checked i mean 14 is old enough i mean but there's no rules on this well yeah but it is it is on the older side right and i think that um you know it would be amazing to be able to say to her you're so lucky

but she doesn't feel that way and she feels like there's something wrong with me we don't want her to feel that way so bring her to the doctor get the blood test going check all her levels and reassure her that sweetheart you're you're okay you're just it's happening a little bit later for you can i ask you what the discussion was like in your house around it was it in those days back then i mean we're talking we're talking nearly 50 years oh my god charlie keeps doing this to me charlie keeps pointing out how old i am the other day i was in the car he's gonna out me for this the other day i was in the car and i was looking at the placards of people in ireland at the moment there's local elections for the european parliament and i was like oh my god

look at all these young faces everyone looks so young in these you were like you know what i'm so happy to just see so much young blood going for this young people active in politics at last at last and then gerald was like tina do you think maybe they're not any younger and i was like oh my god they're not young at all i'm just older than them i was like they're not young they're just not as old as me amazing because her mouth was open looking at the window going oh no yeah for ages and so any also anytime we see somebody like nelly on the telly i go remember that song tina now it's a quarter of a century ago but uh yeah jarlett loves jarlett loves reminding me that we met a quarter of a century ago yeah and i'm like it's just i don't really care about

age but the odd few times darlotte has said quarter of a century it has made me go oh my god i'm so old nearly three decades oh my god shut your mouth look but you know what all jokes aside about how times have changed. Like, I am abundantly aware of how much periods where a girl's information and their area and lads were not even. You weren't too busy yourself with thought around that. No. Leave that to the women. That is their problem. Yeah. And it'll embarrass them if you bring it up at all.

Or just stay away from them because they'll kill you. And they're a problem yeah and you'll embarrass them if you bring it up at all or just stay away from them because they'll kill you and they're volatile yeah they're like a bull in a china shop that is the most annoying thing just no look

give yourself a wide berth you need to be out of the blast radius okay I get it sorry guys you've no idea the death stare I just got now was that the case in your house uh no um let me think i definitely couldn't wait to get my period i thought i was gonna have superpowers

i really thought this is gonna be so exciting gonna I'm going to be fully woman power. I definitely used to use it as a way of embarrassing my father. If he was annoying me. And with my brother, I would do the same thing. And would they run from the room when you said it? Oh, yeah. If I wanted to make them feel really uncomfortable or I want them out of my face, I'd be like, do you know I'm bleeding right now? There's actual blood coming out of me right now.

And what would they do? Climb out a window? They couldn't't cope they could not cope with it and i i remember i used to say to my brother why don't you go bleed out your awful stuff go bleed out your arse i think i heard you say that you may have said that to me but here's the thing with this little girl the dad kind of has to take her anxiety and her worries and her sadness about not having a period yet really seriously because there is a part of getting your period that makes you feel like you're becoming a woman and you are in this next phase of womanhood and you don't really understand yet the fucking misery of periods you just think then i'm not a little girl anymore

so that and and actually we're in a time now where they are changing the narrative about periods to be like see it as your power which i really try every month i think no look at me i'm so powerful i'm still doing this even though i feel like shit but honestly i haven't got there yet i i find it really hard to attach it to power because i just think fuck this shit when can i just have my menopause anyway i'm getting way too angry talking about it i think i think not that many people know, certainly not a lot of men know about what you're talking about here. And we might have to include the link in here that

there are benefits that come with having your period in terms of your connectivity to emotions and the world. I mean, I shouldn't Bea has written about this extensively. Yeah, but I still, I've read it all and I still think I'd rather not have it. Sure, but that's your opinion. Yeah. You're allowed to have that. Yeah, but I try.

I really try. I really, they're saying to make. There's an awful lot of writing on this. Yeah, make these emotions. You don't see them as weaknesses. Don't see them as irrational. See them as power. Yeah.

You don't see them as weaknesses, don't see them as irrational, see them as power. Yeah. And like but still, I have moments every month where my period will come and I'll be like, oh, that's why I was so. The challenge for this guy, right, is again, it's a culture one, isn't it? Mm hmm. Like the first question was about adopting a culture in your house where we don't criticize people that try things. We don't criticize people that are making a noble endeavor to do something or just get a haircut. Yeah.

That it's not our place. He needs to try and create a culture in which she can talk to. Well, he has. Because that is the massive positive of this email. He's aware. He knows his daughter is worried. But he's worried that communication lines aren't open. How do I talk to her?

He's like... Yeah, he's like, how do I respond? How do I help her? And I feel like you just take her seriously. Bring her to the doctor. Do not say you're being silly, you're being irrational. Take her worries seriously. Bring her to the doctor. not say you're being silly you're being irrational take her worry seriously bring her to the doctor get the blood test going let's get an expert on this yeah yeah same as same as if she was really into something else into another activity or if there was another like a medical issue you would you would take her to a specialist if she had a mole on her face. Yeah. I also think get ready because chances are it's coming.

Yeah. It may have come by the time we were invited. And I think just get ready for being as understanding as you possibly can be. Because the idea that girls can be raised in a house where they don't have to hide their period. They don't have to like be like oh apologize yeah that you know people are just like she's on a period it's completely normal most natural thing in the world just give her some space be really nice you know just like just you know be just give her just stay out of her way for a whole week

just move out just move out get an airbnb down the road i hope this has helped i know i'm sorry for laughing there in a similar boat yeah uh where you know might just be you like you might be an only parent for another reason yeah like this is an only parent question yeah it's really tough and it's really the biggest time he's gonna feel like she needs her mom like she's gonna need her mom so many times but this is one your doctor advice is brilliant because if he finds the right doctor she can be that and every girl can empathize with knowing that someone else has started their period and what's wrong with me why has a mind come so please just take her

seriously listen and bring her to the doctor get the blood test done i mean kid dynamics tina is probably uh the thing that you've opened my eyes up to the most kid relationship dynamics okay like sibling dynamics we've had a couple of questions in the last few weeks you come back and listen to them about kids who who are like friends with somebody who they're like the parents are going i'm not sure about this we all have a friend in our life who were like are they a good influence on my kid well your kid will act differently with whoever he's with you know you said it really well over We all have a friend in our life who we're like, aren't they a good influence on my kid? On my kid. Well, your kid will act differently with whoever he's with.

You said it really well over the weekend, actually. You said that it's like tectonic plates, friendships among kids, that they're shifting, state of flux all the time, and there's earthquakes along the way. Yeah. And then things settle. I said that. And then a new...

Is that a theory of mine? Did I say that? I'll claim it. I'll take it. That's really good. Apparently I said this. I think Mikey said that. Is that a dream?

It's very wise. It is true though that like your kid is going to have to have some bad friendships. You know, friendships are forever changing. As parents, we get so stressed about them because we're like, oh, no, my poor baby. What's going to happen? But if you take a pause and remember, your friendships changed all the time. And that's OK.

It's healthy because it's the horror stories you worry about though yeah like you know we all know uh stories of like i remember stephanie pryser actually telling a story of how her friends were out to ostracize one kid. Girls can be very scary that way. Group mentality. Imagine I said that. Bitches be crazy. I didn't say bitches be crazy, but girls.

Oh, yeah, I shouldn't have said. I didn't say crazy. I said scary. Scary. Oh, that's fine. But the group mentality, you know like mean girls that kind of you know they they egg each other on to make bad choices and you just yeah i i'm all about this wolf thing with children i'm always trying to say do you want to be the sheep or the

wolf you have to stand firm in your own choices your own company like do you want to be a follower or someone who's on brave enough to do their own thing we're in a world of lack of imagination aren't we i mean it's just a kid that you're saying to your kid you need to have your own ideas yeah but i'm nobody has any ideas what i'm more saying to children is you got to be comfortable on your own it's okay you it's okay to play on your own it's okay to read a book on your own that's another question that's come up a lot right the the mom or the dad the clingy kid who won't let them make the dinner yeah and you gave great advice on that question a couple of weeks back this has been a hell of a season i know it's a

long we're on episode 32 i am feeling it because i cannot keep up with the emails left and i'm really trying so everyone who's emailing in i love them we don't only have two episodes left because that's mikey school year primary school oh no that's that's it that's it holidays i don't know how you're keeping up with it like jarlett does four podcasts it's just ridiculous and there's something big coming yeah there's something big coming uh you'll need to be a Patreon to enjoy the full benefits of the big thing that I have coming. For all of you, I'm so bloody excited about it. Not as excited as I am about this next day, Belle. Tina and Jar, myself and my partner, love your show.

Hey, Pat, love the show. We need some advice so our kids get on so well nearly too well okay we have a six-year-old boy and a four-year-old girl she adores her big brother even when he's destroying everything she does. So there's a dominant. This is hilarious. Like, I just find that opening to this email just like so amazing. It's like she can't see it or doesn't notice that he's doing it. He hurts her. He breaks her Lego.

He scribbles on her drawings. Oh God. And she will always find it funny and gaze at him lovingly. Oh, she adores him. I don't want to raise a walkover. Yeah, that's so weary. How do we get her to stop indulging his bad behavior? See, I don't think that she put up with it from other people.

But he's the man. That's something that I would say to them before they start to panic. Just give, you know, watch her in the playground. Observe your daughter for a little while. Is it just with him or is it everyone? Is she a pushover?

takeaways from this season of the show. You're like, a lot of males about this. Sit back and watch your kids. Yeah, observe. Observe your children. Take a minute

and be an observer in their life. So if you're worried she's a walkover, does she get walked over by everyone or is it just her brother idol

and still it's they're right it's fantastic that they've seen this because it's not okay that brother has way too much power that shit ain't right and would it is it fair like would he put up with it from her absolutely no way he would but you you know what? The other parent might be like, they're getting on fine. What's wrong with you? Yeah. Why are you trying to engineer an issue here? But there's something not quite right with the fact that the little girl doesn't get upset about her stuff being destroyed. Like, how much is he hurting her?

Like, is she afraid to annoy him? Like, is it worship or is it like he might hurt me? Sure. Here's what I think happens. So she's drawing a picture and he scribbles on it. Yeah. And then she thinks, okay, cool. Now we're scribbling.

Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. So it's not like my beautiful picture. It's like, oh, that's more fun. Yeah. I want to be like you to be like yeah we're scribblers we're scribblers now yeah you're right oh my god god you've gotten so good at this stuff stop no but you have i was a guess but when you said i was like i can totally visualize that i'm cool too i'm scribbling on everything yeah and then he smashed her Lego let's smash our Lego yay

we're playing Lego smashy but she had just built something amazing yeah she's still only four though tricky she's still you know

she it is I feel that this will naturally stop she's not going to find this funny forever but I do think that you need to say

things to her like you know if you are upset when that happens that is okay i would be upset if someone broke my lego so if you are feeling sad it's okay to feel sad about that she children don't really know the guidance on this stuff they don't know and she could just be a child who doesn't want to upset so it's okay her into her emotional intelligence tells her well let's just join in in this fun now i don't think it's normal you don't think it's normal i don't think it's normal for him to do that oh i don't think it's a very nice thing he's doing i think you need to she's she sounds fine

she sounds so she really looks up to and loves her brother yeah's a very nice thing he's doing. I think you need to. She sounds fine. She sounds. She really looks up to and loves her brother. Yeah. Happy days. And he's actually taking advantage of that. Yeah. Yeah.

He isn't clear on boundaries. He's not clear on boundaries. I don't think. But also, I think she is in a position of adoration. She's the youngest. Yeah. Look how I'm the youngest kid I knew. For him.

But he seems maybe a little bit jealous. Like children who break and scribble out stuff. That is, to me, a sign that they're a little bit jealous. They don't want that child getting the praise. Mikey used to do that to my drawings. He did. I'd be drawing next to Mikey and he was jealous

I'd draw Mikey was jealous he'd draw it and he'd go over to mine and go can I help with your one and then he'd scribble it all out yeah he'd scribble it all out and I'd be like thanks for that help

and because of my background he was only three I'd be like that's not good what he's doing is not good this is a red flag this is a red flag and what was the red flag well really he was he he was jealous mikey

definitely will kill us for revealing this but he is an amazing artist now he obviously had that ability very young couldn't quite get it out the way he wanted to so he would see he would try really hard yeah we would think his is amazing i actually remember yeah he would look at yours and he'd be like fuck this he would actually scroll it out until the page broke and i was that was the only that was one of the few things i didn't like that yeah i didn't like that i didn't like it at the time i told my parents i thought i was jesus your mother still creeped out by that i mean this is definitely gotta go yeah i'm definitely not adding this out yeah your mother went home uh at a very young age

when we learned about how jesus will come again uh we don't know in what form yeah but he will come again uh and i'm like well well then surely there's a chance it's me at four years old i went home asked my parents guys am i jesus i mean i gotta put this in the show your mother was so put out she said we didn't like that now. We didn't like that. At least you didn't think Jesus lived in your wardrobe like I did. Like, well, yeah, you know that that I thought Jesus was in my wardrobe whenever

I needed to see him, I'd open up my wardrobe in my room and Jesus would be in there sitting there. Kids are mad. What age were you when you thought that? Like four or five as well. But you thought he was invisible? No, no, no. I just thought he was in there the whole time. Oh, God.

Literally, oh, God. And I knew not to tell anyone. I was like, don't tell anyone that Jesus is in my wardrobe. The other thing, Tina, that you were really good at when Mikey was engaged in similar behavior to what this kid is doing to his sister. He's a bit old. You were very good at not giving it loads of attention. Yeah, you shouldn't give it loads of attention. He's going to keep doing it. Because if my child or a child in my class was doing this to another kid and the other kid was handling it so well, does that kid deserve to continue to have to put up with this just because they handle it well?

No. Yeah. They do not. That is not okay. That is exploiting their good nature. Isn't it just? No, I feel so bad for her. But I don't because this mom is I feel so bad for her.

But I don't because his mom is so good. Look at her. She has noticed something. She's like, what do I do? What you should do is you need to talk to your child about what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior. That he is an older brother and he has a responsibility to his little sister. And that there are things he's doing that he needs to stop and that you're going to be watching because you know you know he's six now he's nearly seven and he's getting too old to be doing these things and i've noticed you're doing them i'm telling you right now it needs to stop and there will be consequences for those behaviors

does this mom need to prepare herself for whereas in the past you used to leave them be and they can play together you might need a bit more of eyes on the game i think what she might need to do is when they're building lego she needs to get in really quickly to say i love what you've built this is fantastic she needs to take the little boy away and go your sister has created something we all really like it you are not that i break it and if he does break it she needs to not say anything in the moment just bring him away get him doing something else okay go and build lego with the daughter wow and have that one-on-one time with her where you create something again and later on say to the little boy we talked about this i told you not to break or destroy what your little sister is doing you need to stop next time i'll have to come in with a consequence you know i mean people are getting diagnoses for kids all the time

it's a big item of conversation i want to talk to you about it in the second half of the show over on patreon.com forward slash irishmanabroad because i want to know if we follow the thread with this email at what point do you go okay we may need to take this guy to see somebody to have a look and see what's going on or what other factors such as diet sleep things like this or overstimulation screens and stuff could be causing this other than him being a bit of a dick to his sister come on over patreon.com forward slash Irishman abroad this is the week to do it lads we've got Marion

McKeown extra large episode this Friday this Donald Trump trial is going bananas it's become so crazy they can't even print in the papers what's being said in the trial. Marion has had her eagle eye on the whole thing. And what's more, she's there with the supporters outside to get their take on things.

And of course, terrible situation in Rafa. What the hell is Joe Biden doing about it when he's the one signing the checks for these weapons that are being used. We're going to have all of that in full on patreon.com forward slash Irishmanabroad and come out to see the show this week. I will be in Colchester with my stand-up show Your Man.

Cambridge, that is sold out. There's some tickets left for Colchester and Drogheda, Drogheda. Tommy Leddy Theatre on the 18th of May this Saturday. There's some tickets left for Colchester and Drogheda. Drogheda. Yeah. In the Tammy Leddy Theatre. On the 18th of May, this Saturday. Yeah, Drogheda. Which is a 900 seat.

Notions. It's nearly sold out. Not Drogheda Notions. Drogheda Notions. It's going to be a fun night. It's nearly sold out, but I'd love you guys to come down. And Tina, thank you so much. We'll see you over on the other side.

I love you too.