Honey You're Ruining Our Kid - Meet The Parents! When Your Parents Disagree With How You're Parenting Your Kids! S2 Episode 9

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

This week on the show fussy eaters, bed wetters and kids who just want to be naked. As always Tina has the solutions you need. Tune in to hear her advice and stay for the laughs. First up on the show we hear from a mom whose child is regressing with their toilet training. Not unusual at all. This mom is completely on it and so tuned in to her child. Tina offers up two options, depending on how fast this mom wants change but both are definitely hopeful that this little girl will start using the toilet again. Next up we hear from a mum who is at loggerheads with her own mother about how she’s parenting her child. Is there anything worse than our own parents questioning or overriding out parenting style. Tina has some sound advice for this mum that she hopes will work and transform this unpleasant situation.  Fussy eaters are everywhere. How do you get your child to try new foods. Tina’s Tapas are back. Listen in to see how Tina suggests you should present your dinner. This technique is a game changer. If you have a parenting problem that is driving you all kinds of bananas get in touch today. We can help. Email - [e-mail]. There is nothing we haven’t seen before. We can and will help. Come on over to Patreon and listen in to the juicy stuff. Thank you so much for supporting our show. 

is being able to not panic when you think your kids in serious trouble the most important parenting skill yeah i i don't think it's one any of us ever acquired like nobody tells you when you're gonna have a kid yeah that there's gonna be moments where you think your world's ending yeah and then you'll have to be able to just get back on with your day. Yeah, absolutely. Pure panic. Pure, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my God. Okay, he's fine.

Anyway, what are you guys doing today? Yes, that was true. Do you remember the time Mikey jumped out of his high chair? I know he didn't really jump. It was terrible muttering on my part. You brought it up, I didn't. Dean was carrying him in the high chair. I've been told a million times not to do it.

By lifting the chair. Yeah. And I told her, don't do it. One of those stupid Ikea high chairs. Oh, yeah. Blame Ikea. Well, they all got recalled. He leaned on the table.

He leaned on the table. He fell out of it. I couldn't even look. Oh, like I thought. Like Brian O'Driscoll dump tackle yeah your tackle yes very face onto the ground first and tina ran to me and went he's he's really hurt himself i couldn't and i was like pick him up i couldn't i couldn't and then when we got to the hospital they were treating me not him they were like treating me for shock he had a little mark on his chin and

then we just got on with our day it was was a big mark on his chin. You do learn the kids bounce fairly quickly. Oh, it was awful. I can feel it now. It was terrible. It's Honey, You're Ruining Our Kid, the parenting podcast from the Irish Man Abroad Podcast Network and Go Loud. You're all very welcome back after our little midterm break. We all survived it.

Just about. We did. What is the stupidest thing that happened to you this midterm? Because we have a whole list of stupid things to happen to you this midterm because we have a whole list of stupid things that happen to us quite a few number one on halloween night uh i dressed up as an inflatable unicorn thought i was the business it was a cool costume i really thought this was going to be a lot more fun than it turned out to be and then during the night mikey was like can i have a go and i was like of, of course. Here, spread the joy.

And while trying to take it off, I caught the zip in my brace and snapped it. That's what I did. Of all the inflatable unicorn injuries, I would say that this was the most devastating. I do not know, even now, how I caught my zip on my brace. But the dentist was not surprised at all well I think braces are always snapping and popping and yeah they were like that's not even the worst story we've heard and most of the calls I would say that orthodontists get drunk and then yeah well that's what I regretted more so than actually the thing the happening was the phone call I made immediately to the dentist going,

I'm dressed as a unicorn. And I was like, oh. The maniac voice message to the orthodontist. Why can't you retract those messages? Why can't you unsend an email? No, no, no, I'm serious. For God's sake, can we catch up on that bit of technology, please? Well, Ivanka Trump wanted to get out of testifying at the fraud hearing in New York last week on the grounds that it was during a school week and it would cause an awful lot of distress. I know loads of parents that during the midterm, if offered the opportunity to testify in court over fraud they would have taken that ahead of the the sheer

amount of work that midterm is so congratulations to you if you got through it one of the funniest moments on our midterm for me was uh we were so lucky we went away to this airbnb in wexford and i've never really been to wexford wexfordford's very pretty. We were on a beach. Like the house was on the beach. It was amazing. And so you wanted to go for a swim and Mikey was like, oh, not another walk to the beach, blah, blah, blah. Which is like, when you say walk,

it was like that. Point out, I think the word he used to describe them was another pointless walk. Yeah. So like, I was like, it's barely walking. It's like two steps away. Yeah away shuffling that so i said okay well why don't you stay here and we'll go down to the beach because you could see that like you could see in the window from the beach and uh when we came back he was like that was my midterm

holiday right there my vacation week day and i was like we've been trying to entertain him the whole time and all he wanted was a bit of his own time. A bit of me time. A me time. Yeah. We have an awful lot of questions to get through. An awful lot of emails. We've selected the three best this week from the mailbag.

Well, I guess we're trying to get the broadest coverage for you guys. And the most eclectic mix of questions from parents. This is Honey, You're Ru're ruining our kid the parenting podcast as i said tina's the expert she's 20 years in the business of child behavior uh working with kids with all sorts of problems problem behaviors and she's been helping you guys out with your issues for the last well over a year now and you know what makes me excited is the emails i get back from people who who don't ever think their child's behavior can change and then when they actually follow through on the plan they can't believe it because i don't think any child is ever done

i've read the emails and it's too modest to read them out but like the advice works and we're just so happy that you guys are enjoying the podcast and recommending it to friends most importantly we need you though this week if you're going to do one thing for us rate comment and subscribe on whatever platform you're listening to we've never asked you to do this but this is huge for our chart position and just in terms of getting the word out rate comment and subscribe even if you go a-okay absolutely deadly just put something down with a five-star rating uh or any rating i mean any rating at all in fact is a huge help we only have five stars except for one person who obviously doesn't like us and gave us a zero but that person is rating everything at zero that's probably my key yeah probably question number one i hope you guys are getting on well i wanted to say that i absolutely love

your podcast and i've been listening to it for months and it provides me with so much comfort and reassurance in those tough parenting moments you guys are compassionate normalizing and funny and i'm recommending it to everyone that is what we like to hear i wouldn't be reaching out to you unless we were really desperate okay well that's like giving with one hand and taking with the other it's like and i love the podcast like there is absolutely no way that i would reach out to you guys okay but we finally reached that point my little little girl, only a miracle child, 34 months old, was potty trained during the summer. It went well on the whole. And she was happily listening to her body and using the potty for the following few months with a few accidents or prompting required.

OK. Then four to five weeks ago, she suddenly started having loads of accidents, resisting using the potty. We couldn't pinpoint a trigger for this. The only thing I can think is that she had her first sleepover in her grandparents' house. Oh, the grandparents let her sleep over. And just after that, it starts. We thought we had prepared her properly for this, but it seems we hadn't. As apparently she did get upset when we didn't collect her immediately on waking up the next morning.

I would imagine that that's probably a bit of, Mommy will be here tomorrow morning. Oh yeah, like you did to me. Kids don't have a concept of time. They think, son up, where's my mom? Since then, she's been having loads of accidents, sometimes 10 plus per day. Oh, the birthday. Oh, Lord.

And resisting using the potty. I love the resisting, like resisting arrest when prompted, even when she clearly needs to go. Thankfully, they're wheeze not poos but all the cleaning up and extra washing is getting hard to deal with over a month later and of interest she rarely has accidents at crash this is that is interesting apart from that first week after the sleepover and generally has fewer accidents when out and about compared to at home. Also of note, she often does little wheeze in her pants now, almost like she's taking the edge off her full bladder, but doesn't seem to wet herself enough to feel uncomfortable in her clothes. This is often followed by a bigger

accident, however. I'm not sure if it's relevant, but she wears pull-ups overnight and continues to soak them every night so we're holding off on night training for a while we've tried to stick with the script you did a wee in your pants we goes in the body next time when you go you need to we you need to go sit on the potty that's directly taken from your script there tina i regularly invite her to join me when i use the toilet and try to turn it into a game but she keeps pushing back i don't need oa as she hops on the spot we've made a conscious effort to give her loads of extra one-on-one undivided attention in case this stems from a lack of attention but this hasn't made a noticeable difference and we've tried leading by example

high-fiving each other when she, daddy or I use the potty. Daddy's using the potty. That's good to know. We've offered her the toilet with a training seat instead of the potty, but she declined it. No, thank you. It's like she's now developed a habit of pushing back against the potty when prompted, rather than checking with her body like she used to when we asked her to change her pants after having an accident she refused to do this sounds like a

strong independent lizzo type woman not even three yet and i worry about her getting an infection yeah so mostly end of just end up helping her to change. The only thing that worked once was when we were in the playground and she had an accident due to having declined to use the body when she clearly needed to go a couple of minutes before. We held firm on taking her home as a consequence. Although she screamed and protested,

we made it clear calmly why we are leaving and she immediately used the potty on arriving home the only final thing is that i need to add is that i have had surgery last week so i have been recovering at home well i hope we get well soon unable to i'm unable to pick her up she says which i recognize has been very hard on her and i've been trying to acknowledge that and give her lots of extra cuddles not sure if it's made the potty right regression a bit worse but it's a it's likely any advice you guys have would be so much appreciated thank you so much i'm so grateful for your time in reading this well i mean first of all they just sound like amazing parents right the high-fiving and the modeling of the toilet and stuff

following true when she did that at the playground i mean these are all really amazing conscious parenting stuff the poor mom is really feeling guilty there's a lot of mom guilt there she you you hit it on the head you know they did prepare her for to stay at the grandparents but what they didn't take account for was the understanding of time and her expecting them straight back but you know that should have been she should have been able to be she's nearly three you know that could have been exciting to really have a pinpoint in time yeah when she was fine go stay with the grandparents yeah and she's not now

sometimes that's i i think that sometimes we don't know what the dialogue is with grandparents no and all power to these grandparents because lord knows grandparents now just like parents are doing way more than they ever did in the past or expected to do way more how many elderly people do you see wheeling kids around when they should be enjoying their retirement how many people in their 80s do you see like having the kids to sleep over while the mom has a break and i'm not saying that about this parent but i'm just saying when they're spending more time with the grandparents you at any time you you don't know what the dialogue is if they said something or if something around that stay yeah made her

think oh i actually don't need to go to the party that could be it or that little girl wasn't as confident with her wreath as they thought she was. And being with her grandparents, well, she probably had the most amazing time and her mom should not feel bad about this at all. Something happened to make her feel uneasy and not confident in that area. Or something just happened. She just had a worry and that is not something she was able to control anymore um first of all i just want to say to this mom this is not unusual and yeah we've had regression emails all the time toilet regression is really common and the only thing i'm gonna say is that this little girl sounds really able

and you got the toilet training done before. She's not doing her poos in her pants, which is way worse than Louise. I know it doesn't feel like that when you're in it and the wet clothes and the smelliness and the washing. But the fact that she's able to let her poo go, that's fantastic. to say to this mom either just be patient and continue doing what you're doing because i think it sounds incredible and this will pass or if you want to speed up that process i think you have to introduce a very structured timer situation okay where the dialogue needs to be okay you don't seem to know when your wee is coming anymore so we're gonna have to start checking mommy's gonna have to set this timer and when

the timer goes off you have to check we're gonna go to the potty and you have to sit down we're gonna set the timer for two minutes if you haven't on your wee you get up and when the timer goes off again we have to check until your body remembers all by itself like it used to and that could work first of all it's really boring and monotonous kids don't like having to be pulled from whatever they're doing to go toilet and it might just be enough for her to start doing what she used to do and checking in with her body i love the language this mom uses it's amazing like she really does seem on top of it but again this child is not three yet there's always going to be toilet regressions and it's so painful when she's when you're in it but she's not really

doing it a crash which to me thinks even though you're giving her loads of attention she's preferring whatever attention she's getting for the wets whatever one-on-one eye contact is being given during those changes and stuff your daughter is seeking that out i mean she does sound like like this kid does a very strong will yeah but also very tight with mommy obviously this is a pandemic baby this is a baby who was just with their parents for a lot of their early years and i think mommy should not feel bad about having left them with the grandparents do that again make that more normal make it more normal that the kid has to go and stay somewhere else and someone else has to help her with her toilet training do you think the grandparents are not able to...

Like, you're saying start this timer thing, but you're also saying send them to the grandparents. Oh, no, I'm saying either decide to ride it out knowing this will pass and just give no attention and change the things and encourage the toileting like she's been doing. Or if she wants to speed it up, introduce the timer, try and get her back on track, introduce a reward thing for the end of the day when she's gone my god is the timer's

the way to go and maybe a chart of some sort you will i i think that but also i think she's only three and she did have her something happened where she just felt a little bit alone or unsafe or worried you know and maybe she just needs to practice those feelings a bit more you know being away from mommy because she probably hasn't been away from mommy very much mommy did nothing wrong and now mommy's recovering from an operation and she probably feels like i can't ask for help i can't leave her with anybody because at one time i did this thing happened but this thing that happened isn't that bad and i know it feels like it is now but you will get this little girl back on track you've

talked about mom guilt and it does sound like this mom's definitely suffering with it yeah like dads don't suffer with this guilt to the same not saying that there isn't dad guilt i definitely have dad guilt when i go away but like tina had mom guilt so bad that she felt bad taking showers i did yeah well we had had such a trauma with mikey yeah but it was also that you'd grown up with guilt we all did and but i really was afraid of leaving mikey at all at all for a long time yeah i was afraid it was massively tough yeah because because of what happened to him and because at the time i knew there was something wrong my baby and i couldn't get anyone to take me seriously i just felt like well he can only be with me yeah you know it's the

only person yeah i am yeah it was so like i just think i don't know if that's a very clear answer because his mom no i think it's great you've given two pats if she didn't sound like she was so on top of it all over the language like everything she's doing is incredible yeah the only thing i'd say is whatever attention she's getting with the wets just be careful about how much eye contact you're giving and how much chat you're having in those moments, because we don't know why, but she is enjoying that. So just be careful of that. Don't give it anything. Yeah, I'm not saying be cold.

I'm just saying just change clothes quietly. Just keep an eye on that. And then if she uses the toilet or goes to the potty, then give the big swing hugs and the squeezy hugs and you're the best girl. But don't give anything for that i mean that's not a very clear answer i know but i just think i think it is this mom i would say get another sleepover in any and granddad's yeah well so we're still having the other thing you'll have a few more wets you need a bit of time there are things that happen in your parenting life that you think are

never going to end yeah and then there's a morning where the sun comes up and it's behind us yeah it does sound like they're close yeah but it feels like it's not i think that i'd love to hear how this goes with those two strategies it's super hopeful that she's not doing it a crush because that means she can she can yeah she can do it so this will pass It's just which option do you want to go with? So in that last question there, you were like in quick with the praise when it's going right, when they're doing what you want them to do and largely ignoring what is the negative stuff. I mean, that's one of the videos that you posted on your instagram there if people aren't already on instagram i know that sometimes the advice is bound up in the podcast but if you need kind of bite-sized chunks of what tina's talking about in really simple shareable one

minute 30 form go to instagram get on board honey you're ruining our kid instagram and you can see that she's gone to the trouble of kind of making them into pieces of sushi that you can easily consume um some of them don't contain fish maybe you're not into wasabi uh but look these videos are great and they're getting tens of thousands of views and i'm so proud of you for doing them because you're not comfortable in front of the camera it's your first time i was just gonna say i think someday darlin might blackmail me with the outtakes of these videos the outtakes guys you have no idea like the amount of face palming the oh i just so uncomfortable i don't know how people do though it's just so hard to look at yourself

and record anyway most of them narcissists myself included I don't do a lot of pieces to camera but they are tough and you do need a good editor but thankfully it's really easy when the info is there

and it's just waffle like mine my ones are just me waffling on about Shout from the World. But there's a bunch of them there and maybe those will help you introduce other people to the podcast. I mean, if you've got friends who are like, no, I'm not into my guys, ping them one of those videos might be an easy way to get along. That's sad, Tina.

We have somebody here who thinks they have an unsolvable problem. Oh, God. We've never had an unsolvable problem but uh this uh one goes something like this so our two-year-old hates wearing clothes to bed so we let her sleep in her pull-ups at home but when she stays with my parents they insist she wear his clothes and of course it turns into a complete screaming meltdown and then my mom and i get into it because she says i need to make her wear clothes i am at my wits end because i hate wearing clothes when i'm sleeping also so it's hard to say to my child that they have to wear them i feel like it's not worth the fight we have a bit of a theme here this week and that is the parents

staying at the parents yeah meet the parents should be the title of this episode grandparents are tough like they are it's the best will in the world yeah you have a brilliant joke about babysitting at the moment in your new show that i love thank you and it's so it is so true like you rely on these people who you don't really agree with how they parent sometimes. Yeah. But I have to say, though, I think, as is the case most times, this grandparent has a point. Yes.

This is going to be tough for this person to hear. I know. I just don't know why you would allow your child not to wear anything at bed. Like, they are going to get, they must be sniffly. They must be a snot nose kid all the time. Or they've got a really well insulated house. Well, if that's the case. It's cozy as a Josie.

I mean, this comes down to, I guess, explaining to your child that, yeah, in our house, it's our rules. And if mommy's happy enough for you to go to bed with no clothes on in our house that's perfectly fine but they're gonna get older and have to go for sleepovers and things like that and it is going to be a bit odd if they're not wearing pajamas tell me about it like i sleep in the nude all the time and when i am going on sleepovers and just you know on the road it's very odd for people people take an awful awful lot of adjustment. No one will believe this, but Charlotte is such an... I can't say it with my voice.

What is it? Exhibitionist. You are forever. You're always... I'm not an exhibitionist. You are. I don't even know what an exhibitionist is. Well, I don't know,

but this is what I think it is. I'm very comfortable in my skin, thank you very much. You always change in front of windows and say that people can't see in. I'm like, of course they can see in. They can see in the window. I don't change in front of windows and say that people can't see in i'm like of course they can see in they can see in the window i don't change in front of windows i change pressed up against we lived on the main

road for a while in st albans and jar was always up there telling himself off in the window and he was talking myself he was like they can't see in i was like they definitely can see in the transparent window during yeah but i don't think that makes me an exhibitionist i do like my attitude was the fuck are you looking up here for you love getting changed at the beach i don't mind but my attitude at the beach is fuck you i'm like if you're looking at me well good luck that's what you're looking at me, well, good luck. That's what you're going to see is this human car crash that is my genitalia. At the beach, I'm like my hood up. I'm getting like nearly killing myself, getting choked in my dry robe, trying to make sure I don't show anything.

And you're terrible. Like absolutely. Like, guys, absolutely. Like I've never seen somebody so bad at getting dressed discreetly at the beach. But I will be like wrapped up tying the dry rubber around her shoulders yeah and then just at the last second it all falls and she's like oh jesus christ and all i'm doing is lying in a ball laughing on the rocks i mean i find it so hard to get changed after a swim at the beach so i'd rather not swim

i'm like you know one of the reasons it's not worth the faff the faff okay so where did we get oh yeah because this person's not wearing pajamas look i think this is an easy enough fix because this mom just needs to sit down with her little person and say okay in our house that's fine but our real sometimes when you're in somebody else's house they have different rules that we have to respect and you say in grandma's house she would like you to wear pajamas so let's go and pick out the pajamas you would like to wear there and make it like obviously this child has some sort of sensitive skin thing and that is an issue that unfortunately grandma's not willing to understand but there are loads of pajamas out there made from loads of different things go make it fun let her pick out a few fun pajama sets that she can bring again yeah make it

really cute and cozy like i don't understand how um the pajamas aren't being put on further earlier in the evening because clearly this is happening just before bed but if the pyjamas were being put on with slippers and a dressing gown and you were coming down to get cosy on the couch you wouldn't want to get out of those to go to bed

it is the child's right to not wear pyjamas to bed if they don't want to childs don't have rights children have rights there's no such thing as child rights children have rights the child's right not to wear clothes to bed no fuck that the child's right not to have a quilt over them look it's your responsibility as a grown-up to go in and make sure it's getting cold it's not the summer anymore put some fucking clothes on i'm sorry i do think if it was my kid they'd be wearing pajamas but i do think this mom has a right to listen to her kid and be like i don't want to wear pajamas in her own house that's fine but if you're giving her to your mother or father or an aunt or your

sister to mind then they're in a different person's house now and they have to know that they have to roll with it so you just have to prepare them get them the pajamas explain to them that when you're in their house they would prefer if you wore pajamas that's fine really nice pajamas that you like and they can be your special pajamas you wear in their house i think it's a solid tip and worth giving a trial interested to hear what this mom says when she comes back i mean we watched a really bad movie the other night we didn't even get through it was fucking shit what movie is that old dads right oh my god it's so bad. I was so sad. I didn't know what you were talking about there.

Avoid this movie. I love Bill Burr. We shouldn't say that. It's not good, Tina. It loses the run of itself. Well, like, it tries to be like we're chauvinistic men, but we're actually kind. But then they keep just doing things that are really gross. Yeah, but like it's kind of this kind of hodgepodge

of bridesmaids and why are there so many breasts in that film there's like one strip club scene goes on a while yeah definitely does they were definitely enjoying their evening 40 minutes of boobs yeah there's definitely an awful lot of scripts set in the strip club for some unknown reason but one of the funnier aspects of it is the confronting other parents and their parenting which you should just never do yeah but this is but this does relate to this story yeah you know your parents are one of the few people that can confront you on how you're doing it yeah even though there's probably a bunch of stuff you want to say to them about how they did it yeah and the impact that had on you and why if you want to

know why i'm doing this maybe it's partially because of how you did it and look we can no one's getting it right as the center of this podcast is that we're all guessing absolutely and that just tina's had more swings at bat with all of the kids that she's dealt with over the years and also what works also it's just helping parents understand that you can actually get rid of this behavior don't worry like you know it's not forever that you'll really catch your parents out on this as well by by following tina's advice there of they'll they'll think you're digging your heels in, but if you arrive in with the most amazing pyjamas and the kid is up for it,

no kid can argue with the idea that there are certain things that we do when we go certain places. One of those things is wearing pyjamas at other people's houses. I mean, it's actually good for your child to understand that, yes, in our own house we can do this, but we have to respect other people's rules

in their houses and i mean do you really need that fight with your mom no you're already having to ask them to mind your kid has anyone ever won a fight with their mom i doubt it i doubt it no no i can't think of one just take that release that pressure from your day drop the rope drop the rope i love that drop the rope. Drop the rope. I love that. Drop the rope. You don't need that. Just let's go out.

Let's pick out two pajamas. Your child will still feel they're in control because they get to pick which one of those they wear that night. And just explain to them. Nanny says that's what you have to do. Well, we need to talk for a minute in the next section about Halloween. We didn't talk about it. We got a lot to get through there. Is it acceptable

to dress your child as Chucky on Halloween? There's my question. No, it's not acceptable. And yet you did it. I did not do it.

You have a parenting podcast where you allow your son to dress that's bullshit as the lead character from Child's Play I was against this

every step of the way a movie that you're too afraid to watch yourself and I will never let him see but like Jared that was all you all you just like all of our bad choices in mikey's life are all your fault that's it and you know what i had to even let mikey dress as chucky

to jarlett's father's annual halloween party where there were tiny children everyone else is dressed as like hermit the frog yeah i was dressed as a unicorn like he arrives at the door do you want a bite i was like no daggers in the house i mean i felt like completely out of control in that moment you dressed as worse than that jason from halloween i mean the two of them were terrifying and then when we went trick-or-treating like people were really afraid we're running from us and mikey mikey didn't want me walking with them because he said the inflatable unicorn and then when we went trick-or-treating people were really afraid. Kids were running from us. It was magic. Mikey didn't want me walking with them because he said the inflatable unicorn was working.

The inflatable unicorn did somewhat ruin the intimidation factor. I had to be there. Jason from Halloween, Chucky from Child's Play and an inflatable unicorn that ended up waddling along with her butt flapping in the breeze yeah catching her zip in her brace oh that was terrible uh look it it is such a tricky holiday halloween especially once

they're in that tween age group where they're like i want to be scary but yet they themselves are slightly scared by what they're dressing i was really sad that he went as jokey like i said a million times is a bad idea i don't like the scars and the way that's not true gave him the this is untrue you were telling untruths you didn't give him one of your t-shirts to wear under his don't i did do that yeah but the rest of it's not true and that was just because i was like i'm not not. Would it be so bad? I did not say that. If he went as Chucky.

That is, you are just lying. I said, can we just go as the Ghostbusters? I said that. Well, that's something I've dreamt of doing for years. And you went out and bought these costumes. But you know how expensive that would be. Yeah, you know what? I think it turned out to be pretty expensive in the long run. Yeah, this is the thing.

Charlie wanted to spend 100 euro on a Chucky mask for Mikey. Oh, and it was terrible. Your liability. If you're on your own, your liability. I am. Yeah, we all know about the basketball cards now. That I just realized you told me to tell your brother it would be a good present for Mikey for his birthday and afterwards

I realised fucking hell there are like 130 not in America oh really no in America he's going to think I'm so cheeky

no no no I told him myself anyway Tina and Jonathan I need your help I'm new to the podcast but I'm loving all the episodes

thank you going right back through listening to every single one oh my god that's always scary that i'm like what did we say my four-year-old refused to try new foods well welcome to our life i can't serve a play what i mean tina you don't try new foods i can't eat food because of my brace. Oh my god. Somebody shoot me in the eye of the penis. I can't serve up plain pasta one more

night. It makes no sense. They're brilliant in every other area. But the meltdowns at dinner are too much to bear. So we give in and serve up the plain pasta again. How can I make this dinner misery end i'm worried he'll end up in hospital i've brought him to the doctor who basically acted like i was a fuss pot

oh that's a word that's triggering for me 1980s you're nothing but a fuss pot a pot a fuss I do not like to ever hear that mums are being told they're making a fuss or they're being over the top doctors really shit on you from a height sometimes

when you go in look doc you're kind of getting in there before the game I just need you to say that you have to take off your shoes when you go in the house

I don't know what you're talking about it's like doc I'm paying you 60 quid say what i'm telling you yeah in england it was you felt a lot better going to a doctor because you knew it was free you didn't respect them as much i have to say when you're paying for it you're like oh jesus i remember that doctor i went to i said uh how's it going doc i'm gonna donate a kidney to my

brother don't do it don't do it. Don't do it. What? Yeah, I just need to get some blood tests to send them over so they know that I'm the right blood type. I am the right blood type. My advice is don't do it. I'm not sure you were wrong. In hindsight. I mean, I had decided to do it. What kind of a gobshite? That's another time, though, I was like, don't do it as well.

I was like, Charlotte Charlotte this is too much and you didn't listen that and the chucky costume yeah but now I'm a hero you're not even allowed to talk about it not really

but anyway as she says shutting me down this this Lado only eats pasta yeah

Tina growing up admit admit it. What were the food groups that you neglected? Okay. Vegetables? No, not in my house, though. I was forced to eat whatever was put down in front of me. But in restaurants, I would ask for tomato sauce sandwiches or chips.

Good God. Banana sandwiches. I did eat tomato sauce sandwiches, but only because I saw it on the beach comers. Banana sandwiches if I was feeling fancy. Banana sandwiches. I did eat tomato sauce sandwiches, but only because I saw it on the beach comers. Banana sandwiches if I was feeling fancy. Banana sandwiches. Yeah, I used to love them. With butter? God, no.

I don't like butter. Look, you know what, this mom, this parent is not on their own. We all know this. And we know what works. And we know that I've been telling people about this forever and it was not...

This has to be an Instagram video. Yeah, it was... The Tina Tappas. Tina Tappas. Not my idea. I always feel bad about that. Stop saying it's not your idea. You've made it your idea.

Basically, you give your kid the Tappas experience. But the biggest compliment was this. Was one of my oldest friends, Tara, who I just adore

and she makes me laugh like no one else in the world makes me laugh even though I'm married to a comedian who's sitting right in front of me. I know one person who makes you laugh that much. Who? You. Oh, shut up. Laughing at your own joke. Constantly.

But she said it changed her life. She was like, Tina, thank you so much. It does. It changed her life. Look, it makes total sense yeah the bowls are out on the table yeah with the options the things you'd like yeah cook whatever dinner you're cooking but just don't serve it on the plate put it all in separate bowls with big spoons and empty plates they love to pick a mix absolutely have a little bowl of plain pasta out there

because we do like four bits we want your child's like four bits of pasta. We want your child... Don't listen to Jarlett. We want the child to be fed. But we're hoping they'll explore. And they do. When the pressure is off them, they do. And it works every time. It might not work perfect.

It works 90% of the time, every time. Yeah, I was going to say that. Because it might not be perfect the first two times. But when they realize hang on i'm not under any pressure here yeah i'm allowed to explore i'm allowed to just pick and choose and also introducing a wrap element or the boats or the burger bun that they can fill is brilliant and an element of chance one of them has to be full of wasabi powder don't listen to jar that also i know we say it and it's impossible sometimes to

find the time but if you get your kid involved in the cooking there's more chance they're going to try stuff that's just that's just that's a new extension of this that makes absolute sense jarlet i have said that so many times you've just zoned you out this time you just heard me i mean that's why our relationship has survived you can't remember she's got a terrible memory i have a terrible memory and i don't listen so that's how the world works right not to make light of this because this mother is is in trouble she's in a spot of bother and not the only one no I used to and I know you're not making light of it

but I am saying that if anything this podcast has produced that's worked for people yeah aside from like the obvious stuff

like come in quick with the praise yeah ignore the bad stuff as much as possible have the reflection at bedtime yeah

over the bad stuff not in the moment the Tina Tappas for fussy eating kids yeah trust tina on this this bloody works it works and uh i mean when we were going through this ourselves and like making the two dinners and watching him move Trust me, it was so annoying for me to have to watch you make two dinners. And then I think we went to somebody's house and they had older children and I saw that mother making five different dinners

and I was like, this can't go on. This has to stop. And a mom was sharing a trouble that she was having with me at the door and I was sharing with her and she told me about this tapesting that she was having with me at the door and i was sharing with her and she told me about this tapest thing that she had started doing i mean game changer so i hope that helps if it doesn't get back to us we'll try something else that's your lot for the free version of honey you're ruining our kid come on over to patreon.com forward slash Irishmanabroad to get a little bit

extra and access to all of our episodes, including bonus episodes. There's an extra stand-up special over there, the full Irishmanabroad archive, extra length Marion McKeown and Sonia O'Sullivan episodes. You name it, it's over there. And you also get priority when you email in.

You'll be attended to first. It's how we keep the show alive. Please do sign up or rate, comment, subscribe wherever you're listening to this podcast. That'll be a help too. Yeah, and if you do go over and you listen in to some old Irishman Abroad episodes, I would recommend Michael Smiley and Philomena Lee.

Those are my comfort blankets. They are incredible episodes. Philomena one. They're incredible. I love them. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Tina, thank you. Thank you.

I'll see you next week. I won't see you until then. I don't know how you do it all, Dara, so thank you so much. No problem at all.