Honey You're Ruining Our Kid - My Kid Is An Angel In School And Handful At Home! Teacher Trouble & Mysterious Diarrhea

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Child behaviourist Tina chats to her husband and adult child Jarlath Regan about three very revealing questions from listeners this week. If you have a question about any behaviour you are currently trying to cope with, drop the show an email. It's totally confidential. [e-mail] You are never alone. This week we have three very different questions from three very worn out parents. Question 1- What do you do when your child has uncontrollable diarrhea? - it runs down your leg like a squishy bit of egg- diarrhea! Diarrhea! But it is no joke when you're trying to manage all the accidents? How can you get the school to sympathise and help you cope? If the doctors are telling you that there is no reason for all the soiling accidents is there any way of improving things for you and your child? Question 2- This week a Dad got in touch pleading for help with his 6 year old son.  He is an angel at school and a handful at home. They are not coping well with his constant outbursts and demands. He is disrespectful and argumentative with both his parents and they are losing any patience they previously had. Is there any hope? Can they interrupt his pattern of home behaviour. Tina knows where the light at the end of the tunnel can be found. This answer will help all parents. Question 3 If your child hates their teacher what do you do it they are stuck having the same teacher again the following year? Is there any way of mending the relationship?  Surely a teacher should never let it get this far but what do you do or what can you do if they have!! Jarlath and Tina play out the scene and how best to handle it.Come see Jarlath's standup live www.jigser.com/gigs for all his tour dates including Australia!

Hello and welcome to honey you really are kid the parenting podcast from the Irishman abroad podcast network the brains of the operation is here Tina hello darling Regan don't like being called brain for 20 years of experience with working with children with severe behavioral issues, all levels of education and. And just putting up with you. Putting up with me. She's got her own. She's got two kids.

Two actually. Mikey and me. And she's been answering your questions since season one. And I'm all up to date. All the way back. I'm all up to date. Inbox is complete. This is it. You don't know guys but Tina's flooded with questions from you guys.

Honey you're ruining our kit at gmail.com. Yeah it's a terrible email. It's the worst email address ever. Because it's honey you are ruining our kit at gmail.com. Yeah but people are still finding it. They are finding it. Imagine if it was easy. So they've been getting in touch. You guys have been getting in touch in your droves

and she gets back to absolutely everyone. Yeah, I'm pretty confident I'm back to everyone now. I always get worried. I always get a bit like, oh Jesus. You see, people give me questions for you. You get messages in my Instagram going, do you mind asking Tina this? I'm sure there's somewhere I meant to send this.

And we're going to try and get to a couple of those later on in the show. So if you've messaged me for a question for Tina. But in general, never presume that telling Jarlett to tell me something will ever get to me. Anything, ever. I mean, our friend Louise Atchison knows this. She had to learn the hard way. Saying something to Jarlett to pass on to me just doesn't happen. Jarlett never tells me anything.

Unless I say to him, when you saw that person today, did they tell you to pass on to me just doesn't happen. Jarlotte never tells me anything unless I say to him, when you saw that person today, did they tell you anything to say to me? He will never think to tell me. And rack my brains and literally put both hands to each side of my temple and go, there had to be something. But it causes no trouble, Jarlotte. It's not like there's been days where you're like, oh, shit, we've got to go to this event today.

And I'm like, what event? You haven't told me anything. I should have mentioned this. But you know what? I'm so grateful that you're my manager and you're handling this tour that we're on, which is nearing its end, believe it or not. The In in bits tour that Tina and I are on with my stand-up has circumnavigated the globe and its final dates will be in November in Australia yes haven't really mentioned this to you guys but I'm coming to Australia Tina's not gonna make this trip no but I will be there Sydney Perth Brisbane Melbourne and then a quick hop over to New Zealand

for one date in Auckland at Sky City Theatre. That's gonna be the end of this. So we're gonna film the thing. Which I'm actually really sad about because I love the show so much. And I always feel like Charlotte moves on from the shows too quickly. It has to be done.

But like, you won't get to see the show again. You're filming it in the Helix on the 14th of June. Yeah, there are tickets. You should come because I'm going to miss the show so much. But then I'm like this about all your shows, because I can't imagine how the hell you're going to write another one. Well, you know, I love it. I love writing the new one.

And we've got a bunch of kind of secret work in progress shows around Ireland in the autumn to get that show ship shape. Which are my favorite things to watch. I love going to Darla's work in progress shows because I just lie on the floor laughing at him trying to find his way up there. It is like going to under fives karate. Yes. They're doing all the moves. None of the moves are lethal yet. Yeah, it's still funny to watch. So funny to watch and Tina finds it adorable.

The struggle. Not to say that when people come to those shows, it's gonna be me up there struggling. No. By then it's usually nice and tight. Yeah, and it's just really nice to see it come together. It's quite magic and there was one night, particularly in Greystones or Bray.

I always get the mixed up. Yeah, it's Greystones. And you're opposite of Bray. Jarl has the mixed up. Yeah, it was Grey stones. The opposite of Bray. Jarl has forgot a joke. Forgot a joke. And I was on the floor pounding the floor laughing. Everyone could hear one person laughing. No one else was laughing.

It was so funny. Cause they were like, why has he stopped? And Tina's dying because she knows he forgot to set this joke up 45 minutes ago. Yeah, still worked, still worked. The show, the new show is going on sale on Friday. So when you hear this, you're getting the heads up on this before anybody else.

Brand new show on sale this Friday at 10 a.m. and it'll be everywhere, New York, Boston, Dublin, Galway, Limerick, Belfast, London, Glasgow. We're gonna put all the dates on sale at once this Friday, 10 a.m. But this is, there is a connection to Raising Kids and doing this show because it is a nurturing process. Yeah, you are giving birth to a new show. Yeah, and you know, I always have my eyes peeled during the week, Tina, for

what we're going to talk about to kick off each show. And the thing that is on the tip of every parent's tongue at the moment, if they've got kids of a range of ages, is the ones in secondary school are fast approaching the end of their year while their teeny weenies still have a month to go. I would estimate that that month where the teens are off and the teeny weenies are still in school must be one of the toughest months of the year. Do you remember when your brother was off school and you were still in primary school?

No. I have a vivid recollection of this. See, I love school so much that I was like happy out going in. I'm a great girl. I actually didn't like primary school that much. But no, I don't. Isn't that weird that I don't remember? My brother would get up to wave me off.

It's just like oh, this summer holidays of secondary school, because for the people in the UK and American Australia, to listen to this, it is mind blowing. The length of the holidays for secondary school kids. Three months is crazy. Three months is crazy. But the teachers, I want to give a shout out to the teachers because you can see it on them.

We were at Mikey's awards night last week. And, you know, these teachers, my heart goes it on them. We were at Mikey's awards night last week and, you know, these teachers, my heart goes out to them, they really need this break. Yeah. And it's not like they're actually getting a break from work. They're still working. People think they just go home and they don't have to come back to the school for three months, but they do need a break from our kids. They need a break from our kids.

Our kids are driving them bananas. Yeah. Any teacher who teaches secondary school, are they well? Are they okay? So for a little bit of history here, my mother was a secondary school teacher and when she got to this point of the year, it was just clinging on. It was clinging on by the fingernails

and as soon as she got the holidays, she would get sick. We're gonna talk a little bit later in the show about preparing for what's coming when they're all off and they all expect to be entertained over this window of time. It's one of our favorite things to talk about, but in the meantime, we have three banger questions from you guys that you have submitted,

including toddler diarrhea that won't go away. Yeah, it's a go away yeah a real worrying one and the really difficult kid at home angel at school yes you've heard of this kid and what was the third one team it's a child who hates his teacher and just found out they have their teacher again that's gonna that's gonna be good because the trepidation over something that's coming down the track, very tricky one to navigate with your kid, but very important skill to learn in life. And it's so funny how finding out what teacher you have for

next year is actually such, it's the most exciting piece of news that breaks in a primary school. It's hot off the press. Hot off the press. We're getting Miss Burke. The kids are so into it. They're like taking bets. Who do you think we'll have? Betting fancy people. Yeah.

To see who they have. Well, let's get straight into it. Question number one. It is a poop question. So if you're in this, if this is part of your life, you're going to need to hear this. Tina, as somebody that's worked in the Montessori game for quite a number of years, you've seen a lot of shit, figuratively and literally. And what is always remarkable to me is that you say you don't have a light

stomach when it comes to kids and their plops. I have such a light stomach that even talking about this is dangerous for us because I tend to be like, I'm going to vomit over anything, anything, especially sometimes around you. You've been to racing races, like athletic races that I've done. Oh, my God. Don't bring it up. Don't bring it up. Don't bring it up. I cannot cope with snot rockets.

Snot rockets, spitting, just the stink of sweat. I disgust myself a lot of the time too. Like even blowing my own nose is disgusting. You gross yourself out. I gross myself out. That's the most Catholic thing. Did you find yourself gross? I do.

I find myself disgusting. But yet, as we head into this question, I'm not just bringing this up for the laugh. There's a question coming up here around toddler diarrhea. Yeah, I never get grossed out by kids or old people because they can't help it. They need help. If somebody needs help, I'm not going to find that gross. I got used to working in a behavior unit with adults who had severe and profound behaviours.

I would never find anything they do. That would never turn myself into someone because they can't help it, they just need help. That's what professionalism looks like, you know, you're a pro. It's more ignorance. I'd be glad if you'd be believing the jab at Dave when I'm going, oh Dave. I get these people need help, but I'm not the person to help them. Yeah, it's the ignorance of a snot rocket and stuff like that. That kills me. I'm like, ah.

I have to say I've never engaged. OK, don't even talk about it because if I think about it, you do not. I've never done it. Well, don't even say it. Don't put yourself in the same sentence. You keep bringing them up. I know. I can't believe I've said it twice. This person gets in touch and like I found this shocking.

When I read this, I was like, oh, well, this is a major issue. You've got it on your hands here and they need help. Guys, I love the podcast and forever recommend it to everyone. That's so nice. I have a spirited nearly three year old. So it's great to put the advice you have both offered more Tina than me, let's be honest, to the test.

My current problem is that my boy has toddler diarrhea nearly every day I collect him from crash. He's leaked and has needed clothes to be changed. Yesterday he came home stinking. Two exclamation marks. He had leaked through again and he was, he was outside. But he was outside. They either did not notice or just sick of changing him,

which would be a very damning indictment. Yeah, I'd hope that hasn't happened. He has improved. He used to plop maybe eight times a day. What? Is he toilet drained or wearing nappies? It doesn't say. Where now it might be two or three.

Sometimes he has a solid poo. I'd say he's had a total of 20 solid poos in his life in three years. Wow. We have had bloods done. That was my first thought was you need to get to a doctor. Bloods done. And to rule out celiac to we've trialed them. Yeah, that's what I was thinking straight away.

Like there's some kind of eating thing. Yeah. So I thought this too, that must be a dairy thing. Nope. They tried that too. We spoke to dieticians, et cetera. We've gotten used to it. Inverted commas. But I'm wondering, do you have any tips for toilet training him? I really don't know if he knows he is going unless it is a solid poo.

And what's more, he is happy enough to fester in his own squalor. That's one way of putting it. Well, many thanks and hope you can help. First of all, not unusual for a three-year-old to not give a shit about having shit in his pants, so go easy on yourself there. Honestly, that's normal. And other kids are so used to that age, they're so used to nappies and stuff, they don't tend to comment on it either, really, at three. It's when they're five or six and they're bigger and kids know... if they're thinking or they'll comment on it

Like you're stinking go get help like they would never laugh It would never be like they'd never be ridiculed for that at that age because they're all struggling with their toileting issues You know, nobody's doing a great job yet. But um, wow I honestly have never heard of a kid having a leaky bell like that. I mean, it sounds like a leaky bowel, right? Well, yeah, I mean, I mean, I have digestive issues and I suffer with an intestinal issue that relates to my psoriasis really opening up here today. Yeah, I'm worried about what you're going to say next. I'm worried about what you're going to say next.

Like it is, it is just a matter of avoiding certain things. Like, and I do think that once they figure out what this lad shouldn't be eating, this will right itself. But clearly, if they've spoken to dietitians, they've done the bloods and now they're emailing our podcast. They're at the end of their tether. Well, you know, it's interesting, the dairy, because I think even if he didn't come up, that he's allergic, you should take that out straight away. I knew of another kid who, not that he had a leaky bell, but his poos would be so runny

that they would just destroy his poor little bum. I mean, his bum was so sore he couldn't sit down. Taking dairy away from that kid, even though he was told he didn't have a dairy intolerance, really did work. So if they were able to, I mean, there's so many alternatives out there now, it's way easier time. I would maybe perhaps do that,

but toilet training a child who can't even, doesn't even know the poo's there if it's in the nappy. I think that's just going to be a disaster. I think that the info that we really need to talk about this is what is his diet. Is yeah, breakdown of the daily food. And also what is his temperament? Is he a very anxious kid? Yeah, because my own and plenty of other people, it is stress related for me is something stressing them out at school.

Yeah. Parents think babies can't be stressed out, but toddlers can be super stressed out and they can hold it all in their stomach, you know, which isn't a nice thing for a parent to hear because then that makes... The other thing is that when you or I have something like this, we know that you need more roughage. Right. Yeah. And so I wonder if that's the first place to go. Yeah, I was thinking, like, does he need to eat more brown bread?

Does he need more cereal? I mean, it's a really tricky one. But in terms of the toilet training, one of the key things to look out for for toilet training is are they getting through the night without washing or soiling? Do they know when they need to poo? You are not going to have a successful toilet training if this child doesn't know when they're pooing. And that's her concern. And I'd imagine there's other people listening to this going,

that's exactly what we're facing into, because if he can't tell you, oh, I need to go, yeah, then you're on a hiding to nothing. It's so tricky this one, because, well, first of all, you're on a hiding to nothing. It's so tricky this one because well first of all you're lucky he's three and at the moment even children who don't have this issue seem to be left in that piece still are nearly four so he's not going to look that unusual because people have really started to leave toilet training late so in this case that's great because you have an issue and somebody else won't even have that issue and their parents hasn't bothered or bollocks to train their kid yet. So the

only thing is the benefit to the toilet training is that we see that every single time a child learns how to go toilet there is a blossoming in that happens to their independence and their personality that is a sight to behold and they do change. Bush, if it's not going to be successful, I think you got to wait. You got to try different things like getting rid of dairy. And like you said, the roughage, I would also start educating him on the digestive system, you know, get those body books out, talk to him about all of that stuff. Start asking him what it feels like, you know, get a consciousness going there.

Can juice be an issue? Juice. He's getting juice at school that's disagreeing with his stomach. You know, we've all had moments where, say, we've had a 99 ice cream on the way home from a wedding. I can't believe you're bringing that up. OK, Gerald laughs at me. When Sarah's husband pulls in for some petrol

and we're like, I'm gonna get an ice cream. I am reckless when it comes to my tummy. I can't have cheese or ice cream and they are two of my favorite things. I will eat them. It is going to be on your Tim's tongue. Yeah. I shouldn't have eaten that.

I shouldn't have eaten that. I love cheese so much, but it doesn't like me. No, it's every day, every single day. I'll be like, I'm dying and Jared is like, why did you eat that? And I'm like, cause it's delicious. It's so yummy. It's so yummy.

I remember you had a friend who had an accident in a car once and I couldn't look at her the same way afterwards. Do you remember this? No. I do. I worked with her, she was a teacher. Oh God, I couldn't look at her the same way afterwards. Do you remember this? No. I do. I worked with her. She was a teacher. Oh, God, I couldn't look at her the same way. You described it so vividly. Like, we've all had those accidents.

Yeah, when you're grown up. It sounds like when you're grown up coming home from a wedding down the country, it is very different. And Fiona Smith got the laugh of her life out of that. It was very funny. Myself, Fiona and Charlotte are on our way home from Sharon Troy's wedding. Maybe 20 years ago now. You do exactly what your father does.

Oh, assume people know. You mention the name of somebody like everybody knows who Sharon Troy is. But she's a legend. We were on our way back from a wedding in Tipperary. Yeah. And we got an ice cream. Got an ice cream. At like 10 in the morning. It did not work out well for Tina. So we're then tearing down the road at 120 kilometres per hour. I don't think I've ever heard Fiona laugh as much in her whole life.

But it was the absolute turmoil that you were in. If only this kid had something similar, because he's not, he's clearly not having the panic. And when she said, I don't even know if he knows he's not he's clearly not having the panic and when she said I don't even know if he's Knows he's going like I needed to go. Oh god. This is so personal I need to go so much, but I was still able to go to stop this kid isn't able to stop But you know, I looked across the team in this moment and I mean guys she was sweating Was like Frights, mates. It was.

Don't look at me! It got mad at me like lava! Not quite. I've never been able to go into that. We've never gone back to that service station. Every time we pass it, you bring it up and I'm like, just drive. And they also have your picture on the wall behind the counter. That's not fair. That didn't happen.

That's not fair, that didn't happen. Do you remember when you go over to one of your friend's houses and they were like an angel in school and then you'd see how they speak to their parents? Yeah. And how shocked you were? They're like, Mom, get my dinner! Like that kind of thing. Uh, no, we don't like these. She's just paying the arse. Like in full earshot. Yeah.

Like everyone had that experience with someone like, oh, mom. Yeah, and knowing you get killed if you did that. Oh my God, you get hopped. And you'd also have seen a friend behave nicely in your own house. Yeah. So you knew they were capable of it. I remember like having my eyes popping out of my head and just being like,

where? How? Like. At least when you're a kid, it's OK. But I remember that happening as a grown up. As a grown up, it's way worse because they're dealing with elderly people. Yeah. I remember being at my friend's house and being like, whoa, you're a grown up talking to your parents like that. And all they're being like, maybe their head melts. Yeah, of course they are.

But. Of course they are. You just mean elderly people in general. Your friends are good people. They're obviously annoying them. Yeah, true. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes because all we get is, how are you, Jarla?

Good to see you. How are you getting on with the basketball? They're like, he seems nice. God, fuck off. Well, that's our question number two, because this kid is clearly good in school. Street angel, house devil. Yeah. So here we go. Tina and Jarla, I need some advice.

Our almost six year old son behaves very rudely. When my wife, I won't read it all like that. It's a man. When my wife takes him to any store, he either forces her to buy candy, So this is obviously in America or toys. And typically isn't satisfied with just one. He wants several. He's like, why wouldn't he?

You'll want more toys. If he doesn't get what he wants, he gets physical. Okay. His mom. And he emphasizes again, and he's very rude. Like physicality clearly doesn't go into the category of rude. So he's obviously very vocally rude. OK, right. He's great at school.

This is the twist, right? He is great at school, very respectful in class and follows all their rules. But he's very rude to us. I love this guy. This is so easy, though. And doesn't follow any instructions in spite of us being very respectful to him. We're not rude to him. He's rude to us. He's only six. Getting him to eat food at the dinner table, ay yi yi, which my wife spoon feeds him. Oh fuck off. Or getting him to brush his teeth, which my wife does it for him. Okay we all know what's happening here. Or getting him to brush his teeth, which my wife does it for him. OK, we all know what's happening here. Or getting him dressed for school.

I do that for him. OK, is a daily challenge. We limit his TV watching to two hours a day, but he gets mad when asked to turn off the TV after two hours, which I think is rude. I added that myself. He loves action cartoons, but some are too violent. And he hates it when we restrict him from watching that type of content. The problem is that he acts out these scenes violently at home

once the cartoon is over, which I would regard as rude. I'm unable to figure out what we are doing wrong and will appreciate if you can provide any suggestions on how to handle this scenario. I'm laughing because I know Tina is going to change this person's life. Well, we all know what's happening there. I don't know. You know that I enjoy these emails because I can sense things are about to change. So easy. This is a quick fix. That child has zero respect for the grownups in his life because they're not acting like grownups.

They're not treating. No, they're not acting like they've given him way too much power. Right. They're acting like he's in charge. They're saying things like he doesn't like when we turn off the TV. He's watching programs he shouldn't be watching. He prefers when I spoon the food in be watching. You're facilitating his... Megalomania. Yes, he has no rules, he has no boundaries.

Now it's a really tricky one when it comes to rules and boundaries, because some parents can take it too far. But it is proven that your child will feel happier and more secure if they know where they stand and what the rules are in the house. That doesn't mean that you have a dictatorship in your home. It just means rules and boundaries need to be very clear and he needs to know if you say it you mean it and you do it. The teacher has achieved that. He's happy at school,

he's well behaved at school. If your kid is tantruming in the supermarket that is not a sign that he's a happy kid. That's a kid who doesn't know what he's able to get away with. This might work. So tell me this. So this seems like a quick fix. Yeah. And your person might be listening to this going, well, how do I establish those rules? And won't this produce an utter meltdown for a couple of weeks?

It will. And you're really right to raise that. If you're going to start putting rules in that were not in place before, which you don't tell him about, you just start doing things and meaning it. You don't need permission from him to enforce rules. You've got to have, you know, you got to believe in yourself here as a parent. You are going to have kickback. Of course you will, because his life has been so easy up until now. What's the advice for somebody who is genuinely scared of that kickback? Well my advice

is it'll be short-lived if you're able to stick to what you say and you have to try your best to ignore and distract. And also, your kid's getting bigger and the behavior's gonna get worse. So you have an opportunity right now to nip it in the blood. And what I mean is, if you're allowing your kid to watch cartoons for two hours, which is a lot for a six-year-old, you just have to, you're saying you're being respectful,

that's great, but now you're gonna to be respectful in a very fair way. So your kid's watching a cartoon, you come in with a 10 minute warning to say, that cartoon is nearly finished, when it's finished the TV goes off. You come back in 5 minutes and you just say, just letting you know that cartoon is nearly done, 5 minutes to go, then the TV goes off. That is a fairness, you're not just turning it off. The child has had two warnings. He knows what's happening, right? And you definitely have to turn it off because you said you were turning it off.

Those are the rules. If he kicks up after that, that's fine. As long as he's not a danger to himself, leave him to it. Right, so let him have it. You don't have to get involved. Sometimes trying to reason and rationalize with a child who's under the age of eight is a waste of your time.

Like I would always go to distraction or ignoring the behavior, wait till later when they're all calmed down and talk about it then. In that moment it's just gonna escalate. Okay, so that is genuinely why we see people with kids having tantrums out and about a lot of the time. I remember the other day in a Voka? We saw a mom physically holding her kid and I felt really sorry for the mom, definitely more sorry for the kid, because she just wasn't telling her. We take parents, people, grownups, take it for granted the whole time that the kid knows your plan.

But if you haven't told the child what's happening, what's happening next, what we're going to be doing, it's very unfair to expect them to just roll with you on that day. They have their own plan. You've got to respect their own little inner agenda. And they need to know, well, that's not going to happen. This is happening. The visual schedule is one that you've suggested a bunch of times here. And like that, I always think makes,

you know, when you're bringing in a load of rules that clearly haven't been there before. Yeah. I always think that this will make it seem like less like rules and more like we're completing this challenge. Well, the idea that he's being spoonfed at age six, that's embarrassing for him. That's going to get him. But it speaks to what you're saying. You know, the service around here needs to improve.

You need to put the food in my mouth. If you want me to eat it right, put it in my mouth. And actually, at the age of six, this is actually a time where you can get the teacher involved to help you. You can ask that teacher to have a word with your kid at school. Around how we. And say, I hear that you aren't feeding yourself at home.

What? I'm not joking, why not? But wouldn't you be better asking the teacher to say, let's talk about table manners? Sure, but if it's like- My ma puts that food in me mouth. This is a huge problem. Okay. And table manners in general? No I think this kid is sick. He's not in a nursery group. He'd be laughed out of it by other six-year-olds if he's

getting fed. The teacher has a position of authority where she can say things to him. I want to hear this week when I talk to your parents that you are dressing yourself in the morning, you're feeding yourself and you brush your own teeth. I've been eating his lunch at school. Of course he is. I just hurt my mouth there. But like I really feel for these parents because we don't know how special this kid is We don't know how much they worked to have a child sometimes those parents can be the ones who are like but our babies are special

We don't want to give out to them, but you're not making it easy for them. I like what you said about guys the ones who are like, but our babies are special, we don't want to give it to them. But you're not making it easy for him. I like what you said about, guys, it's gonna be tough, but it's actually gonna be worse if you don't do this. And that's always what I think we need to remember when we're challenging some of our kids, whatever age they are, like whether they're being disrespectful in the house and they're a teenager, that is not gonna improve. No. Like when we say start this question

with going to somebody's house and they're 25 years old and they're giving their parents shit in front of you. Yeah. Like that is the potential for not getting on top of this and just like you say, clarity. Well, he'll just feel better about himself when he's expected to help. And I mean, you could lead it with the rules are changing or you could lead it with we've noticed you've gotten bigger.

We'd like you to start doing the same. But definitely don't shy away from the teacher. If he respects the teacher, your teacher can change your child's life in a day. That voice, and I'm not threatening him at the teacher, but does the teacher having a threatening him with the teacher, but does the teacher having a private meeting with the teacher and then the teacher talking to him, that can change your child's life. Okay, right.

Well, I'd love to hear back how you get on. And if you're in a similar boat, let us know. How does the visual timetable work for you? Have you seen it work? Because countless people have. Yeah, they are game changers. But also maybe I don't know how bad these time terms are. You could also tackle tackle one thing at a time.

You could also tackle on them. I am encouraging that in the coming weeks. We're going to get the Instagram game of this podcast going proper because I'd love to show you guys the visual timetables that we were working off with our own. I know I'm so sorry. really need to push myself out there. You wouldn't even need your face in this reel. We just need to show how these are made, how they work, and how it's an absolute game changer. So do get in touch Irishman... no.

Funny you're ruining arcade. Funny you are ruining arcade at gmail.com. I'm so excited about the summer, like I really am. I really like I have to say like we're guys, we're going to try and put out as much content as we can. Obviously, we try to take a break during the holidays. But I kind of think that the challenge that parents face in the summer is just as large as during the year. Well, I think the tell to that is that we have this is our season three.

So season four will be starting in September if we keep going. I don't know. Perjara is under so much pressure. But I always find it interesting that we always stay at the top of the charts over the summer because obviously parents are having to go back and relisten to old episodes. And I'm like, maybe we could just do one or two over the summer. Oh, look, we're here for you.

And the email is still open, as I say. And we'll try and record as many as we can, because also you get a greater window. You you also get a stack of emails during the summer. Concern around the school year beginning again and what is on the horizon usually only kicks in when Dunstores start putting up their back to school signs. Which seems to happen the minute children finish school now. There's like no in between. It used to happen in August and it used to melt my brain and trash the place when I saw them.

But what if your kid finds out who the teacher is next year and isn't happy? Well, that happens all the time. All the time. And that's what's happening in our final question of the day, lads. Jarlath and Tina, I'm so glad you guys are back. I love the podcast so much.

And thank you very much. I need some advice. Last week, my son found out that he's having the same teacher again for next year at school. They have clashed, him and the teacher, all year long. And having to live through another year of that was never expected. He feels like she doesn't like him. And I think he's right.

How can a teacher take a dislike to a child, especially my child? We all think that he's the center of our world and we adore him. He's now refusing to go to school. Every single morning has been a battle. This news has really rocked his world. What can we do? Well, I feel terrible. We actually have a relative, distant relative, who expressed the same issue as potentially happening.

Well, what happened there was worse because I brought it up and they had never even considered it. And then they were like, oh, my God, I hope that doesn't happen. The kid's face was like, that couldn't happen. But I just think I feel awful for this kid. The kid's face was like, that couldn't happen. But I just think I feel awful for this kid. You should never think your teacher doesn't like you. That teacher is not doing their job well. Well, I remember you saying to me that when you found a kid tricky,

you would make it your business to make that kid. Well, that's how we were trained. Right. Montessori really believed that every child deserves the opportunity and right to reach their full potential. She's all about the child reaching their full potential. And that Montessori teachers are never called teachers, they're directoresses, because they're directing the path of the child. They're not making it. They're providing opportunities for the kid. And Montessori was an incredible lady who realised we're human and there's going to be kids, just like these grownups who are going to annoy the pants off you. But she was like, it's your business as a professional to find a way of making that kid your favourite child.

Wonderful. Yeah, well, it is wonderful. Couldn't all teachers at all levels do with remembering that? That said, that must be so hard sometimes, Tina. It is hard, but it's really good practice and it's really good to have in your head because there's always going to be kids that you warm to so naturally. But the kids who rub you a bit wrong, they're actually the kids who need you the most. They're the ones who just need you.

And making a kid feel good about themselves as a teacher is one of your like it's like a superpower you have. You have a way to put light into them and light like a bulb and light them up. I mean, you're there building their confidence. And I'm sorry you're distinguishing their love for school, their ability and their willingness to try if they feel like, what's the point? She doesn't like me anyway, or he doesn't like me anyway. God, there has to be a parent teacher meeting on this

because it's fully your right as a parent to go into that school and say, look, my child is devastated that he's going to have you again. But Tina, are you not afraid that when the teacher hears that? Well, the teacher should be alarmed. They've done a terrible... But you're not concerned about if you reveal my kid doesn't like you? Well, no, you're not going to say that. You're going to say my child feels that you don't like them and they don't want to be in a classroom with a teacher and for another year who doesn't like them.

I mean, the teacher. Would you do that? Absolutely, I would. Absolutely, I would. Do you think that your kid would like you to do that? Oh, I think you have a responsibility to your kid because what you want this teacher to do is cop the fuck on, like change their ways. Don't say that in the meeting. Yeah. I mean, if that teacher doesn't take you seriously, I would go to the principal. I'd be like, you got to do something about this because school refusal is a massive

problem and nobody raises the point that, OK, yeah, they're struggling with getting the anxiety of leaving their parents, maybe there's friendship issues, but the teacher has a job of making that environment the place you want to come to. There's a bunch of people listening to this who are going to go right on. There are some shy teachers out there. But of course, if what you're about to suggest produces a situation where an already shy teacher who has already developed a dislike for the child, further digs in the heels

and is like, and the mother's an absolute wagon as well. If that happens, that's what I'm saying. You go to the principal and you say, I've done the right thing. I've gone and expressed my concern to that teacher. They're not taking it seriously. You decide where who goes in what class. Change it. Parents have way more power than they realize. All the teachers are afraid of parents.

The principal is there hoping that the parents don't come and complain in their office all the time. Sheepers, creepers. It's totally flipped on its head from how it was when our parents were in school when we were in school. Now they just don't want they don't want the hassle of the parent because they know the parents of WhatsApp groups and they know the parents know each other and they know that they'll talk to each other. Yeah. Look it's wrong.

It's absolutely wrong that this child feels not liked. Absolutely. But I think there is still time like, you know, I always try, like at the moment, I'm pretty stressed out and pretty buried with work and all the rest of it. And that concept of abundance is something that, you know, you're trying to teach your stressed out kid at some point that there's always time, there's always options. There's an abundance of everything, including ideas, teachers, chances, opportunities. Yeah. And but they shouldn't have to. This kid is feeling a bit trapped. Yes. And, you know, when you say, well, I'm going to go in and have a meeting.

And there's an abundance of different realities that you could be facing into here. So not to fret about it, because clearly watching your kid fret. Yeah. Is there anything worse? It's awful. And you have a responsibility to your child. Too young for this. To try and do something. Now, I get it wrong a lot.

I raised something this year about my kid that maybe... You regretted. Yeah, I regretted because they took it very seriously. And another time you raised something. I remember this in England. You raised an issue because and you said, don't bring it up. No. Between these two kids. And they did. Yeah, they didn't listen to you.

So it is a bit of a tightrope walk. Yeah, but this is different. Imagine this teacher old schools it and goes, I hear you think I don't like you. I mean, that you. I mean, that's what I mean about there being like teachers that you cannot rely on. I'm predicting that they're old school, because only an old school teacher would treat a child like this.

But I think what you need to do when you go in there is explain to them that my child is heartbroken because he has you again, because he really feels that you don't like him. Now, what are we gonna do about that? Because you're not allowing him, whatever happened, you're not allowing him the opportunity to change. You know, that's beautiful. The wording of that is so great. And there isn't a teacher alive

that won't respond to the way you phrase that. You know I love role play. I hate role play. Can I give you throw a couple of scenarios back at you? Tina, Tina, like, guys, I'm not talking about the bedroom. I love role play just in whenever we're going somewhere and something's about to happen, I'm like, let's act it out. How it might go. Right.

So say what you're you're going to say to me. I'm the teacher. You've got your meeting with me. Thank you for taking the time to meet me today. I am busy. Oh, I understand that. So I really appreciate you taking the time. So my little guy, Johnny, is going to be in your class again next year. So it's lovely for the kids that they already know who their grown up is

and they've had the experience of what you do this year. We just have a tiny concern. Johnny's a little bit anxious and we're only raising it because, you know, we've got your year, we both know it was tricky. We've had times where you've had to talk to me about his behaviour and how it's going. And now we're going to have another year. Now, full disclosure, my kid feels like you don't like him. And I need to know what we can do about that, because if that is the feeling he's

receiving from you, that means you're putting him in a position where he doesn't feel like anything he does is going to change your mind. Well, if I'm really honest with you. They'd lose their jobs right away if she says this.. I'm really honest with you. They'd lose their jobs right away if she says this. If I'm really honest with you. I would think the reason he thinks I don't like him is because of the amount of times I have to correct him. OK, he won't.

I know he's a great talker, but he doesn't stay quiet in class. And, you know, he doesn't stay quiet in class. And, you know, he doesn't like being pulled on that. OK, well, I just feel that whatever way you're doing that isn't really helping him. So we're going to have to work out a way together for you to understand that when you talk to my child like that, it's making him go into himself.

He's afraid of you. Do you want children in your class to be afraid of you? You would say that. Yeah, why not? Well what I want is for the other children to be able to learn and your Johnny is disrupting the class. I don't know how he is at home but he's not observing the rules of the classroom. Okay, that's interesting. Well, I would like to actually come in and observe this myself. Holy shit! If it's that big a problem, I would like to come in and sit in and watch it. And would they allow you? Well, they're not not allowed to allow you to do that. Really?

No. Holy shit, Tina, you're properly empowering a lot of parents here. They're not allowed not- like if the problem with your child is that big, of course you deserve to sit in and see what it's like. This deserves a real, this deserves a real, this is the shit I'm talking about. We need to get Tina on Instagram talking to people about if you're having a difficulty with the teacher, this is what you need to say. Because Tina, I am telling you, these are spirited kids and when parents are deathly scared of talking to teachers for fear, it exacerbates the situation.

That is not my experience, Charlotte. Parents are... Yeah, you're thinking of our time. Parents are so ready to complain. Teachers live in fear of parents. So that's why it is unusual that this teacher is like the way you're speaking to me just would not happen. Really? What's more likely? So I'll be you this time really

quick. Listen, thanks for the year. I hope you liked the present. It's a one for all voucher. You can use it anywhere. Don't mind that it was only about like 15 minutes ago. I was always going to get you a present. It's not because I need a meeting with you to tell you my kid hates you. Listen, next year, Johnny's a tiny bit anxious about the year ahead. Yeah, I had a feeling he wouldn't be looking forward to or be happy with the news. Yeah. What are we going to do about that? Well, you know, I am determined to try my best and I want that child to have a good experience at school.

So I'm going to really come up with a good few ideas. And I think over the summer, I might make him a photo book and the rules of the class and just things that you can read with him at night. So he gets used to what's expected of him in class for next year. He thinks you hate him. I know he really does feel that because we've had a lot of issues.

He's been struggling with reading. We've had to bring in extra help, as you know. And I was that one time when you said, I hate you. And I really it makes me very sad that a kid in my class feels that I'm going to go above and beyond to make sure he feels more than likely to be the response you get. Yeah, because that's the perfect world. Because even if it's not true, I think the teacher will never say what they're thinking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They will say, yeah, no, you're right. I have to think of a way out of this. Like that, like in the schools I've been in. That is what happens. And then that parent leaves the room and you go, oh, my God, can you believe that their child's an absolute arsehole? And now I would never do that. room and you go, oh my God, can you believe that their child's an absolute arsehole? No you don't.

I would never do that. I think they'd be more than likely embarrassed to think, God, the kid thinks I hate him. Well, you would hope so. That's why I think there's no harm going to a teacher because they're only human as well and maybe they don't realise the impact they're having on the kid. Maybe your kid is so good at masking the response to teacher did, the teacher thinks he's well able to, you know, they shouldn't be thinking that, but you know. I wanna hear how this goes and we will come back

next time on Honey You're In Your Kid. I'm not sure that was a great answer. I think it's a fabulous answer. I absolutely love making this podcast guys. If you like it too, give us a rating over on whatever podcast platform you're listening to you'd be amazed the impact this makes subscribe to be new episodes popping up give us a follow on Instagram honey you're ruining your kid it's all up there and remember you can get in touch you're not in this

alone no trying to raise your kid not to be a gobshite is not easy so you're in this with us and Tina will help you whatever Whatever way you can. Next week we're gonna talk about somebody who is, next time on the show, we're gonna talk about somebody who is having difficulty with a kid who is pulling hair to show affection. If you've had a kid with a kind of physicality about them that is designed to say, I like you,

but it's actually hurting you, get that email into us, honeyyourownyourkid.gmail.com because I think that kind of area is something we've never touched on the show and we want to hear from you. You can find me in Manchester next weekend. Oh, flip, that one is sold out. That one's completely sold out.

Glasgow. Glasgow. Couple of seats left in Glasgow. The Helix. Couple of seats left in Waterford. The Helix in Dublin's a big, big show. Where are we doing in Waterford? According to the new stand-up special, Waterford Theatre Royal. Oh, I love that place.

Beautiful theater, top tier balcony seats left. When are we there? I think it's directly after Glasgow. And then, Cork Opera House. Their first night is sold out, and there's a few tickets left for night two, which we added on the 26th of June. Hopefully, I'll see you there.

And Galway. And the brand new tour is going on sale on Friday. Go to jigsr.com forward slash gigs to get access before anybody else. Tina, thank you so much. I love being on this podcast with you. Thank you, Dara, I love you too. And we'll see you guys next time.