Honey You're Ruining Our Kid - My Kid Sleep Walks! My Kid Is Falling Behind! - Season 4 Episode 6

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

Welcome back to another episode of Honey You’re Ruining Our kid. Thanks to all you legends we are still the number 1 parenting podcast.We are nearly through the hardest, coldest, darkest and most financially tricky month of the year. We are all trying to just hang in there. Spring and hope are on the way. In the meantime Jarlath is on tour and the world seems to be on fire. How do we talk to our kids about what they might be seeing on the news? We get into that and three brilliant listener questions.Question 1. Is My Kid Falling Behind In School?Looking forward to a holiday can keep the whole family on track. Booking a family holiday during school time can help save money. Will it impact your child though? Are you getting real savings or are you about to make their school life harder.  Will it affect their friendships? Their learning? Will they catch up or will it have a long lasting impact?Question 2. Is My Kid Sleeping Due To Anxiety?What is a family and who decides how it should look?  All the matters is that your child is loved and feels safe. Is it tough though  if your community makes you feel like outsiders because your family doesn’t fit the stereotype of what is considered normal. If this feeling of being the outsiders starts to impact your kid what can you do?Question 3. How Can I Get My 8 Year Old Enthusiastic About Reading?We are all aware that it is harder to get boys reading than girls. There are lots of different reasons for this. Sometimes it can be as easy as just finding the right book that captures their interests. Sometimes it can be hard if there are gaps in their learning or they haven’t fully understood how to blend sounds to make words.Is intervention going to work? Absolutely. It’s never too late. Listen in to find out how you can get any child reading.Thank you so much for listening in and supporting our pod. For more info on Jarlath's new standup tour visit www.jigser.com/gigsGet your questions in to us at [e-mail].

This winter, keep your home warm and help lower your energy bills with Warmflow, the home heating experts. With an eco-friendly range of high-efficiency oil boilers and Zeno R290 air and ground source heat pumps, Wormflow provides home heating solutions designed to save you money while keeping you cozy, whatever the weather. Trusted for over 50 years, Wormflow delivers heating that works smarter, not harder. For all your home heating needs, visit Wormflow.co.uk. Welcome back to Honey, you're Rooney Arcade, the parenting podcast from the Irishmanorough Podcast Network with me, Jard Rha Thrigan and Tina, my wife. Very, very tired in this moment, just like a lot of you listening. Yeah, we had a very busy weekend.

Jarlet's finding it hard to look to me because I've got those slug things on my face. I love when you tell me what I'm finding difficult. Well, you do think they look like slugs. But my eyes are so tired. And I have to say, like, they're not, like, they're just vitamin patches that you put under your eyes. Yeah. Do you know the Oaks guys? They feel amazing. Semi-circular things that ladies are now putting underneath there is, and fellas. And fellas. The Lazard don't do you. But, um, you know when you lie back in a swim pool and you let yourself relax into the water?

No, you don't have any experience of that. I've watched you attempt to lie on your back in a swimming pool. And the panic that sets in, as soon as the water hits your ears is quite something to watch you. It's full you've been framed. Yes. But I know you're saying that these do that for your face. The odd time I do relax. And that's the same feeling. Very old time. I don't think I'm draining. That's good. So your face is relaxing while you're recording the podcast as hopefully you guys are relaxing. This is the parenting podcast from the Irish Manor Bro Podcast Network.

And, you know, it's the only podcast that we're making at the moment. All my other podcasts are on hiatus just for a little while this tour. The Gasman tour heads around the world for 2026, starting at the three Olympia Theatre this weekend this weekend this weekend this weekend. This weekend, this weekend, this weekend, this weekend, this weekend, starting at the three olympia. shows. Ridiculous. Thank you to everyone who's bought tickets. If you haven't bought tickets, head over to jigser.com forward slash gigs to see if I'm coming to your town or city or send us a message at Irishman abroad podcast at email.com to suggest a date. Or honey, you're in your kid. Well, that's what I was going to say. You guys have given us a bulging mailbox this week

with loads of amazing questions. But I had a question for you to start off. We're spending the week reading things about how these, this generation of kids are facing these challenges with this technology that's in front of them. They never actually get to come home from school because school follows them home on their phone. And I've often wondered, how would I be if I had a mobile phone, a smartphone at that age? And I thought the better question is, like, people always put themselves, well, if I was my kid, now I'd be doing this. But how would you have been, In 1996, and you're 16 years old, well, you were 15 because you're trying to harp on about how you're going to go to me. Okay.

I am included. How would you be with that technology? Oh, I told right off. Right off. Yeah, completely. I'd have had, I'd have to get my phone confiscated. Would your parents confiscated, do you think? Hmm.

I don't know. Like, they used to take my Tetris away from me. My Tetris. Not even a Game Boy. Just to knock off Tetris. Yeah, I was so addicted to Tetris. You said you were seeing it in your sleep. I was.

I couldn't close my eyes without seeing Tetris. And you telling Arsson that he's gaming too much. Yeah, but I always tell him because I worry because of the Tetris. Is this in you? Yeah. To be this addicted to a thing. You said you were dreaming of Tetris. Oh yeah, big time.

Like, I was living for games, the Tetris. I mean, I wasn't good at it. It's so basic. It's so bad. Oh, my God. Blah blast. And you remember when the Tetris would speed up? I mean, that was so stressful.

Yeah. Yeah. Like right now you get overwhelmed if two doors open at once. I know. Oh my God. Can you please pick which door? Well, I definitely have a sound thing that's driving me nuts. We were watching a film the other day and they were whistling and I was like, then they stopped.

And that was just the soundtrack. I was like, what is it the whistling in this movie? We have to have the whistle. But the Tetris didn't bother. No, I had it on silent. I had it in silence. And would you been playing it under the covers? Yeah, but like, I mean, my.

dad like threw it out the window which I thought he did but then when the grandkids came along remember do you remember when the tetris thing was given to either Ellie or Dylan my nephew niece who were grown-ups now and I was like that's my tetras so he pretended to throw it at the window or he told you threw it at the window throwing things out windows was a real thing in the 90s and 80s parenting especially to my brother I'll throw it out the fucking window because my brother was is was an is into very heavy metal. And Daddy would be driving along in the Jeep. He'd turn it on.

And if David's CD was in there, I'd go in no. Like a Frisbee. Unbelievable horrible thing to do. Yeah, and they're 25 quits. They're so expensive. Amazing that it's all free now. Yeah. I don't know to, oh, how would I be?

Oh, good question. Oh, sorry, Charlotte. Never returns the question. But you said at the start. If this is your first time listening to Tony, Runei, get ready for that. I'll ask Tina. Hang on. How was your child?

it to you. Anyway, on to the next thing. That's not true. At the start of this whole thing, if we rewind it back, you said, I don't want to do that thing of talking about how I would be. I want to know how you would be. So how was I supposed to know you want to? Stenographer reads back my remarks. I don't know. I was saying you have to answer this question. It's a fun question to ask your partner. Because you have to go back and go, well, how was my life in 1996? Like, if I was a person who had a really good home computer, then I, in 1996, then you definitely would have been somebody who had the latest iPhone.

Like, were my parents getting me the latest of anything? Answer is no. Whereas I was very lucky. You were that kid whose parents had the cash to get you the cool baggy jeans. Yeah, you had your own job. I have to give you a credit there I did have a job since the age of 13

okay and Hardens paid Heron's paid me well I did still have my communion money I did still have my communion money for the odd splurish but no my parents were very generous

and I would have had all the stuff and I think I would have failed my leaving suit honestly when I watch our own kid have the maturity to put the phone outside the room I'm like whoa I've never had to tell them to do that I wouldn't be able to do that so in conclusion

I wouldn't be able to do that. wouldn't have had a phone. Yeah. I would have been... Nokia 6210. Plants, I probably would have been addicted to snake. Oh my God. When my dad got a mobile phone, I was addicted to snake on his phone.

I was always asking to borrow it. But like, it is, look, just a little more empathy. I think that's what the world needs this week. With the craziness we're seeing in the world, we're going to ask later in the show, how do you talk to your kids about what's happening in America right now? And how do you approach significant world issues with a young person? Tina has the answer. She's the 20 years of experience.

in early years and children with severe behavioral issues. She's the one with the brains. I am simply reading out these emails. And I'm not playing them for laughs, but I'm seeing the humor in all of it. That's the idea. That's what I do for a living. So let's get to it.

Question number one for season four, episode four. No, it's not. It's episode six. We're fully back in the swing of things with the school year. He sent the kiddos back to school. Hopefully you're listening to this with a cup of coffee and the feet up or maybe on the run

trying to figure out the stuff that you've forgotten to pick up that should have been picked up before going back to school. This first question comes in from somebody who's very concerned about this period. And it's obviously a period, Tina, when people, like, I don't feel like you got to rest over Christmas and then you're straight into January. Well, we were talking to a lady who works in a shop the other day

and I kind of hit home. We're very lucky. We feel exhausted after the Christmas, but we still were able to cut out a few days where we didn't have to work. she got two days. Oh. Retail people got two days.

Don't forget that. Yeah, in those two days, she had to host her family twice. I was like, oh my God, you must be exhausted. Yeah, she must be rinsed. Anyway, this is this person gets in touch through the email address, honey, you're ruining her kid at gmail.com. Tina and Jarleth, I need your advice. My boyfriend's children have been on holiday for three weeks back at the end of January. What a life these kids lead.

He's a bit worried about the effects. on their education, friendships, etc. But not sure how best to handle it. There will also be, they will also be a way for extended period in October. I'm interested to hear your opinion on the impact of kids missing school time. Does it do anything to them? Should we let the school handle it? He can't communicate with his ex-wife.

So trying to talk to her is not an option. This is a very tough one, hon. Yeah, it is tough because if there's no communication, there. He doesn't know what prep may have happened on the other side. Do we know what age the kids are first? No, we don't. So I'm assuming they're primary school kids.

And also you know, there's a lot of assumptions happening here. Like there's every chance that she went to the school she has to have gotten permission. She's going to get in trouble if she hasn't. And they may have given her work. And I mean

since COVID, you really can't go away from your school for three weeks. because the kids are expected to log on and do their homework and stuff in most places. But sorry, that was my breeding. What is my real opinion on this? Here we go. As a teacher in a classroom, do I think it's a good idea for you to take your kids out of school

for long extended periods of time? Absolutely not. Will it affect everything? Absolutely it will. And the thing I worry about most isn't even the education side of it. It is the social side of it. It is so tough on friendships at that age. It just makes everything change and things that were cemented and, you know, running smoothly.

Three weeks is a long time. You come back and that has changed. And that's my real only concern because kids can always catch up educationally. If you take them out of school, you've got to keep up on their reading and stuff. And also it's a different type of education. You know, you could be bringing a... to museums and stuff like that. But it is a social side for me.

I think that's the area that I worry about. That's the bit that it affects. We all remember that when you missed a little bit of time and then people are laughing and gassing about something that happened and you're like, right, well, I missed that. So I'll never be able to be in on that injure. No, I really do think that just, I really think that that is the most way it impacts the kid. And that's your kid's happiness. Like, no kid is happy to go to school.

It's a social element of school. that gets them in there. And when they feel like an outsider again, but like, is that saying just because your kid can find it rough for a little bit, you shouldn't be able to go places? No. But it is something that weighs on my mind.

Like when you went off to Australia, there was no chance I was going because I was like, if I root Mikey out of school for three weeks, it's not fair in him. And maybe it's because of my own experience as well. I was a kid who we moved to England and back a little bit when I was a kid.

and I just always felt on the outside. You know, I always felt... And that's not your parents' fault. No, of course. And that's what I'm saying. Like, real life happens. Yeah. But if there's a way of not, you know, if you can work around it, if it's just a holiday,

are you really saving that much money? Because it can have such an impact on your kid actually wanting to go to school. Well, sorry for coughing there. But it does sound like there's a lot more going on here. Yeah. And a deeper question around this, Tina, is about... A situation where a guy is a and his partner are attempting to co-parent, a long-distance situation. Is the advice there, though, for them?

And I'm sure there's tons of books on this because it's such a common scenario to have routine that they're, when they lock into being with you, they know where they stand. They know what it is. They know how the stuff works. Or am I getting away from the point here, which is, How do they adapt having missed time? Well, it's hard because we don't have much information in that question. She's not saying that they don't have a good routine when the kids are at her partner's house. She's just saying that he's really worried about the impact missing all the skills going to have.

That's a legitimate worry. He's being a good dad. It is worrying. But, like, you know, I guess from the teacher side of it, she can't have just taken those kids. Three weeks is a long time. she has to have signed off with the school. And, you know, the dad is allowed to get in touch with the school and raise his concerns. Well, what we've heard before in previous episodes is people who are separated and the kids go off with him and all the rules go out the window.

Yes. Or her. Could be either. We've seen both. And then you're trying to restore faith in the constitution of your family when they come back. that actually no, phones aren't going to bed with you. And these have been some of the toughest questions for you to answer. Big time, because it is really tough, but we always say if the rules are clear,

if the boundaries are clear, if they know what the expectations are when they're in your house, they'll live up to those. They'll live up to them, but might they just think, well, you're no fun? Yeah, they will. Yeah, but that's a risk you have to take. And when... No, I don't want to go to your house now. But in the weirdest way, when a kid knows where they stand,

it's not they don't feel like it's fun but they do feel safe and kids way before the feeling of safety to the feeling of having the crack there might be an extended period where they think you're a dick yeah well that that there's no winning they'll think you're a dick anyway yeah i mean there's no winning no matter how hard you try and that's sometimes why you just have to go a little bit easier on yourself as a parent because you're going to be trying your absolute best your kid is still going to be in a phase where they think fuck off you're ruining my life i think i think i think one of the bigger questions here in this one is parental worry. Yeah. Like he's worried about something that like you say can't really change or no. Especially there's no communication there,

but he can pick up the phone and ring the school. He can request a meeting with the principal and he can let them know how he's feeling about this and for them to be aware that I'm not actually on board with the fact that they're having their holidays in school term time. And like that that's where the school can help. Yeah. The worry side of things, I guess it is nearly, it is obviously its own form of anxiety as around your kid. We think we've all felt it unless you're completely sleep at the wheel.

They leave and you wonder, well, how's it going in there? Oh, yeah. And certainly there's certain kids that are just closed books. They're like CIA agents. You cannot get a word out of them about what happened in there. And, you know, I feel like her question is more around, Well, can we ask the school to do more? And I think that's rock-solid advice.

Get in touch and tell them about your concerns. Yeah, because your concerns are legitimate. Look, I can only speak from my own experience, but when Jarlett donated the kidney, our son missed a good few weeks off school. Now, as a teacher, I do tend to put more weight on the social happiness of the child. I think, you know, kids will try their best at school, and you can help them along the way,

but you want them to be social, you want them to be happy. The gaps in his learning, were huge. Significant, yeah. And he was only like five or six at the time. And like, it really had an impact on him. It wasn't your fault. Oh, my God.

It's just, that's what I mean. It's life. Sometimes these things are unavoidable. But like, we caught up. We caught up. Because of the pandemic. It did affect his friendships. I remember that.

Yeah. I were thinking, oh God. And he caught up with that too. But you just rattled him not have to. Yeah. So maybe some play dates are the answer in terms of the social side that you're most worried about. is actually getting gang over and just making the effort to actually let them form their own memories. If you're worried about the academics, focus on the essentials when they're at your house.

Do some spellings with them. Do the times tables. Read a book with them. Reading a book is the best, most powerful thing you can do with your child. And some writing exercises, like when they're at your house, do a little bit of homework with them. I mean, I don't know, do people do this? Is this something that people do? I've just been around you the whole time where there is images. Our son sitting at a desk. He's like seven months old. He's got a pen and his and he's going, what the hell is this?

When I show Mikey those pictures now, he looks at me like, what is wrong with you? Well, it worked out. He worked out. I'm just getting there early. Quick story from the weekend shows at the Olympia. So I go into the crowd. at a certain point in the show and I try to find out of the crowd to a couple, one thing about your partner that the audience would be surprised to learn.

And obviously, we've had some hilarious answers, including my husband's struggles to play guess who. That was my favourite. That was Belfast. She totally hung him out. He couldn't, his face. He was like, how could you? There was like 2,500 people there and she embarrassed him in front of all alone. Absolutely rinsed him.

After he had said something like she had three children by Sezisorian sex. and no epidural, this kind of stuff. Yeah, he really bigged her up and she took him down. Yeah. You wouldn't have a cesarean section without an epidural, right? No. You'd have to have some pain killers there, wouldn't you? You'd have a heart attack from the pain.

Anyway, I never asked you, what's your answer? Oh, no. Oh, no. This is when Tina's at her most fee be like, oh, no. Things that I know about you that the audience would be surprised to know. Yeah. One thing. Not a thing.

That's because you saw my brain go. She was like, well, where do I begin? Yeah, you saw that. He's a fruit cake. Okay, well, I think it's that you're absolutely shambles. People think. Just a perfect like to guess who. I was going to say something positive about you.

That you're fucking shitty. No, but it is surprising because people look at you and they always assume. He's on it. He's on it. Well, I am on it to some extent. But I'm like, do you know. If we're listening to this. podcast because I'm on it. Okay. What was that? Sorry, but you know what? Like 10 million times a day,

you'll be like, where's my wallet? Where's my key? That's not being a shambles. Oh, oh, I'm not going to tell them the real serious shit you've got us into from being a shambles, things that you've just forgotten to do. Yeah, yeah. Okay, what's my one? I think people would be surprised to know about Tina that she, she has this ferocious temper you can't think of anything there are times when I'm genuinely scared oh stop that's not funny to make fun of that that's not okay it is a little funny

because really when Tina here it is here it comes when Tina when Tina gets mad she stamps her foot like a old child oh I do she does she stamps her foot like no I remember it was Mr. Peter

pointed it out to me. He was like, do you know you stamp your foot when you get angry? He's trying to tell all these kids how to behave the parents out of raising kids she's in her 40s still stamping her foot. I wasn't doing that in front of the children I was doing that at parent teacher teacher

Oh at parent teacher meetings. That's all. Not parent teacher meetings actual teacher meetings Teacher meetings with the teachers. When they did the teachers wouldn't listen. Yeah. I'd be like, hey, you listen to me. Oh, I know.

I'm talking. in my hair. Absolutely. Totally fine. Mr. Peter is so funny. For all of Donald Trump's bad stuff, he never stamps his foot

when he's angry. Yeah, I do do that. I'm trying to stop. I'm trying not to bring up Donald Trump, but it's all over my brain at the moment that the world's on fire.

We'll have to get to that after this question. We had a really great question coming out, wished of Ireland, Charlotte Tintana, I won't read it out like that. Myself and my partner love your show.

Thank you. We're a gay couple and we live outwashed in Ireland. So we're something of a novelty, a spectacle in our local community. I'm sure there's more gay people. The local gays. There's the to go-goe fellas.

I think they're ladies. Oh, sorry. We have grown use to this, but our daughter is seven, soon to turn eight. She's only just becoming aware that our family dynamic is so different. She is what we'd call an easy child.

No troubling behavior. She seems happy, but everything goes to shit once she goes to sleep. So we do our bedtime. She falls asleep happy. Then two to three hours in, we will hear her. Anything goes right now from screaming to crying to walking around in her sleep nearly every single night right now.

We don't know what's happening, but we suspect she might be getting some back chat from having two mamies. How can we help her? should we be worried is this normal any help would be appreciated okay this that's a lot and okay so i think they're probably right about the bit of blowback about the two mommies and the questions the little girl's getting at school but they could equally be totally wrong it's not happening that seems to be an insecurity and a concern they have yeah but while she might not be getting back chat she may just be becoming aware of it and everybody wants to fit in Yes.

And nobody wants to be different at a certain way. So I'm not saying I don't think they're right on it, but I'm just saying that might not be the only thing that's causing it, but it could be the only thing that's causing it. I don't know this child. I don't know the family. And before we go on with this, right, I have to say to these people listening, they're like, Tina's bedtime routine with getting kids to go to sleep and stay asleep, like, I would regard you as the master of this. this is a real area of expertise for you well thank you Jared there's a really kind thing to say but it's different they're not struggling to get her to sleep she's waking up but she's not she's sleepwalking sleep talking so there is absolutely something troubling her that she doesn't feel like

she's able to say during the day so they're right to be concerned something she's not exhibiting behaviors she's saving them all for her sleep now myself and yourself we both struggle with sleepwalking and sleep talking. Last night I was awake all night. Yeah. Like, talking in my sleep. And it's not a pattern you want this kid to have when she's in her 40s.

I mean, I wish I'd had some kind of help with it as a kid because like, I mean, I was waking up and I'd have made a toastie. There'd be a toasty in the bed and I've done that all in my sleep. A cool bonus. I remember I used to. Breakfast is already made. Remember I was ringing people in my sleep and I had to turn my phone and hide it before I went to bed. But I do think that my thought that you were going to go first to what is.

what is the bedtime routine? Because what it is is a settled mind that it will get you to sleep the night. Yes, I agree that she probably needs a little bit more now. You know, whatever bedtime routine they were doing, it's not enough to get her settled. You know, they need to, you know, maybe she needs a supper before bed.

Maybe she needs two books now instead of one, which can be really hard because you're so tired of yourself doing that. Maybe she needs a little diary. Maybe she needs a diary, you know, those fabulous, what were they called, those diaries that are questions, lead so that they help you reflect a well-being diary. Yeah, well-being diary. Those are brilliant for this age. They're amazing. Well, you can get cheaper ones. Mr. extravagant over here. I think I was impressed the other day and I saw one. It was like fantastic. There's a loud little kid

out as reading them. And this is still an age where you are within your rights as a parent to throw a glance over that diary the next day while they're at school because you're trying to figure out what's wrong. I mean when they're a teenager, you absolutely cannot do that. That is not okay. But like that's a really good idea, Gerald. Like a reflective diary that she fills out. And if she's not really able to write yet, she can just draw pictures. That's okay. Yeah.

And there can be a lot in those pictures. Yes, absolutely. Also, drawing before bed is a fabulous way to get your kids mind to calm down. Yeah, but the best tool they have here will be play. They need to play with their kid. They need to get a farm out or the doll's house out or some Lego figures out. And they need to, when she's really, immersed in the play and they've been chatting for ages, that's when you need to ask.

Like this is why play therapists are amazing. It will emerge. Like it's called parallel talk, isn't it? Like I remember looking at this with you when guys were trying to get their sons to open up. Oh, yes. You have way better chance of doing it in the car or walking side by side. Yeah, but when they're small like this, it's definitely better to make them feel very safe in the game, wait till they're really in it. I guess she is now the old enough.

How would you pose it? Well, you can act it out. This is why act out are amazing. Right. So the little figurines are like, hey, here's my dad. Yeah, you can just act it out in whatever way you're comfortable with and see if she opens up. She may not or she might. But in terms of the sleeping, first thing I'd say is she needs a nightlight in her room.

Yeah. Something. A sandbox going to sleep is great. And teaching her that when she wakes up to put the sandbox back on to help her go back to sleep, she need you need to just not wake her up when you find her walking but return her to her bed every single time and you need to know that it will settle down this will pass it will pass and it will come back you are teaching her to cope because if this is how she deals with her upsetment like that that is what it is like her stress is her anxiety she's masking them during the day but they are

coming out in her sleep you need to work together to figure out a pattern what works for your family. I was a sleepwalker at that age. At seven and eight? Yeah. Wow. Really early on. And, you know, there was never any discussion of, oh, what must be on Jarlet's mind?

I know, but obviously you had a lot on your mind. Deep thinker. No, but isn't it so sad? Because we know now that you had worries, you did. Well, I don't remember having a very well. worrisome upbringing it did just pass in my case but i wonder was that around the age when your house started getting broken into it was yeah there you go dr phil over here tell me was this the time that your house is broken in you didn't feel worried this is exactly it like sometimes i'm like well i

don't feel stressed out but yet i'm up i wake up and i'm downstairs and i'm like how hell i get here you're you're just not you're not um you're not dealing Whatever it is and it's coming out in your sleep. But this is why I love this answer because anyone listening to this, you should have some sort of play routine that they can do with their kid where things can get talked about during the play. I was so lucky. And you've shown me this.

Yeah. And I've done this with my son for years. Years and I hate play. Like I know I'm an earlier teacher. When I'm a teacher, I hate play. I cannot stand it. She's like, this is so boring. Boring.

boring. I honestly, I admire people who work in crashes where it's mostly play, because I'm like, how do they do it and not lose their mind? But you were brilliant. And you didn't mind repetition because they want to do the same thing over and over again. But look at your relationship because of that. Mikey talks to you about everything. It's amazing. Yeah, but it's a pattern, isn't it? It is just a pattern. And I have total faith in this couple. And all the people listen to this is establish your pattern so that that becomes a thing that you do to get. I'm still doing walks on a Saturday. Yeah.

Or we just chat it all out, chat through the week, figure it out without any judgment. Exactly. No one's allowed to get angry during any of this. Yes. But also in terms of them worrying about them being a gay couple and it being a different type of family, don't, for a second, make her think there's anything different about your situation. You are a family. That's all she needs to know. Don't.

Don't build into these thoughts of, oh, well, it should just be a moment. mommy and a daddy. Yeah. No, this kid has two moms. She's very lucky and you're doing a great job. Okay. Yeah. And I mean, I'm sure they're all over that.

Yeah. Well, they are worried. Leading with that dialogue is the thing. And we're lucky that it is, it is going to, you might be an anomaly in the West right now. But thankfully, we've turned a corner on that. Yeah. It's more and more normal as the years go by. But thank you so much for your email.

We're going to talk a little bit about how do you talk. to your kids about what's happening in America. When there's something big happening in the news that is controversial and creating problems and worries for you and your future, I think that this is an eternal question that people have had since the Cuban Missile Crisis since World War II. How do you talk to your kids about the serious shit that's all over the news right now? What does it mean? How do you address it?

How do you not make them scared? Like, I know there's people listen to this who are awake at night, worried about it, and the impacts that things like America invade in Greenland could have on the world order, the economy, your parents' jobs. It's an awful lot, but I don't know. Do you, Tina, have a recommendation for how you address these things with your kids? kids, do you bring them up before somebody else brings them up? Or do you hope they never hear about it? Well, you know, all you can do realistically is answer the questions.

They ask you as honestly as you possibly can without frightening them. You have to be honest with them and you have to answer the questions. But I think do you bring it up when they're tiny, when they're really little? No, unless they come to you, but as teenagers. Absolutely, you have to talk to them about it because this man is having a really bad impact on the world. Like, he's, he is, in my opinion, the reason people think it's okay to fucking lie all the time now. It's definitely an impact on what the truth is and your version of the truth and my version of the truth. And that mightn't just be him.

That might just be the media age where everybody's got a spin on. everything. I just think his impact on the world has been utterly devastating. And I don't like... And 70 million people voted for him. This is the other thing. Like, if you're talking to your kid about it, I think you do have to stress that this is, this man was democratically elected. It's not a, he's not to send it from a spaceship and decided he's in charge. He was elected. Democratic elected. But he's not acting within the realms of a democracy. Yeah. And so your kid's probably going to ask you, but if it's illegal, then why doesn't somebody do something? Yeah. I'm asking that question.

I mean, how the hell do you answer that one? Would you say that to your kid? Every single day. Like, I'm as worried as you. Well, you can say I'm as perplexed as you are. I don't know what's happening right now. Why no one is standing up to this bully. But here we are living in this.

Like, I don't think anyone has the answers. I watch a lot of, you know, we're both have political backgrounds. Yeah, we'll study politics. That's where we met. Yeah, we both have politics degrees. And a lot of our old lectures and stuff, they're stumped. Yeah. Like, these people, we both have.

are stumped. Because we've never seen this. Well, I think the most unsettling part of it is that we studied US politics and believed that there was checks and balances in place to prevent against the tyranny of the fuse, what they called it in the Federalist papers. And James Madison was writing these things. It was literally, in case somebody like this ever came along, we are protected by the checks and balances.

Turns out, not so much. Turns out they're not. It's a lot more fragile than you'd think. And when he's surrounded by people with ideas, I mean, this is this is where we are. Now, I think that probably talking to your kids about NATO, the UN, the EU. The protective powers. Yeah, talking about community. Yeah.

And how people are standing up to ice and saying, we won't have this. And that there, that some of the job of the people of Minneapolis now, is to witness and document what's taking place so that eventually when justice arrives for those that are doing things wrong, that there is, like there's actually, so crimes are taking place and crime will always take place. I think the thing that you can say to you,

because there's always going to be crime, but you've got to act accordingly. You can't commit crimes yourself. You have to witness. You have to be ready to give an account of what you saw so that when the day of reckoning comes, you're able to cool-headedly say, well, I didn't get involved

and I didn't fight fire with fire. I'm saying all this, but like anyone is anxious about what this is. We have shows coming up in America. We're not sure what's going to be there when we get there. Not at all. I'm definitely not excited about going. I don't go to bed every night and think,

yeah, yeah, it'll be all fine. I do have an app on my phone called days that I recommend people download. And days is basically a countdown app. So when I have a big show or a big deadline, I'll have this app open, which will say you've got 500 days until that book is due. I'll open it up now and we'll see how many days do we have left

until because this two will pass as something Tina says on this show all the time. She said it in the last question. Yeah. There is 1,083 days left. That is depressing. in his term in office, Tina. That's depressing. It's 352 less than last year, right?

Oh, it's depressing. He's been less than a year or this. But, you know, I know it's depressing to think that there's a thousand days left of it, but it's still only a thousand days. Well, like, I don't, you know, I hate the way he makes me have horrible thoughts. Like, I think, you know, plenty people die in their 70s. Why can't he? Well, that is, that's a genuine possibility and that's the fear here.

This is what I mean about this two will. pass we'll all pass. Yeah. And I think that maybe talk to your kids about how time and works and how people rise to power. Even Rome fell. Yeah. Talking about that and history might be the thing to talk about it. Because they're living in it now.

This is going to be talked about for a long time. Yeah. Mistakes are being made. What's our final question of the day, Tina? Okay. I can't remember what's fine. Well, the person says, Tina. I'm embarrassed to be writing this.

Oh, I remember. I feel like I've failed. My son, I have three children. One boy, two girls. My son is the oldest. The girls are five and two. My eight-year-old son cannot read yet. My five-year-old daughter can, and already reads with fluency.

I approached both children the exact same way. We try and read stories together, and they all seemed to learn to blend their sounds at school. He just can't do it. He has extra help at school, but it's just not working. He's not dyslexic. We know this. We had him tested. We were nearly hoping he would be.

How can I help my boy? Very tough. I'm very cool of you to get in touch with this question because you won't be the only person. No, absolutely not. This is actually, this is a struggle that every school it has. Like, as a teacher, we're aware that boys are later readers than girls, you know, that they, they don't tend to be attracted to the books like the girls do. And this is why I know he's canceled now with David Williams.

You'd have to say in a way, these crazy books you were writing. Captain Underpants. Yeah. No, no. The one that got our son. Oh, yeah, but that's not David Williams, though. Yeah, I know. But I'm just saying that these crazy books are the ones that.

And sometimes that's the problem. Sometimes the problem is you're expecting your boy to want to read the same book. as the girl in your house. Sometimes that is the problem. And look, all you... This doesn't sound like this problem. No, but, well, I know there's other things going on here, but you do have to capture the interest.

He has to be, he has to feel like, I really want to read this. And you can do that like for boys with comics. Comics are amazing magazines, those football magazines. As long as they're reading or reading, like you just want them reading. It doesn't matter the quality of the book.

And what about the block, though? She seems to think that he's not blending his sounds they're definite that he's not dyslexic. So what does that leave? Well, that just means that something has happened with his blending, that he hasn't quite clicked. He's never actually worked out that you are blending the sounds. Sometimes if the sounds are taught badly,

or there could be a hearing issue there, if he's not hearing the exact sounds, the possibility of him learning to blend and then learning to read doesn't come up because he's never going to be. going to be successful because he's not saying the sounds properly to be able to actually blend them into the word. And there could be something with his hearing, it'd be good to get that checked. But for me personally, I would just start again. I would just start teaching him the sounds again.

Also, something that parents, like, I just wish the parents got taught how to do sounds. I didn't know how to do sounds until I went to Montessori. When you say do sounds, what does that mean? Well, like, Maria Montessori is responsible for inventing phonetics, right? and I mean they're just so widely used now but we forget where they came they come from and she wanted children not to have to wait to be taught to read she wanted them to come to reading themselves so she was like if we can facilitate them by teaching them the sound of each letter right they can come to it so sometimes parents make the mistake of giving the name of each letter and if you teach your child A that makes reading so hard if you're teaching them that's teaching them that's That's A, that's B, that's C. That is so hard for them to then forget that and learn the sound. So it's A, B, K, D, F, G.

It's so hard because they've learned the name. So sometimes the ideal, the ideal is to learn the sounds. And then when they start blending, you introduce the name of the letters. To spell it. Yeah. But you never, the ideal is like, that's why the ABC song is so annoying because it's so confusing for them and we all learned to remember we were just expected to remember words it didn't even make any sense to me yeah we were all expected to remember i didn't even know those i did i i did

took me ages to realize that el meno elmno wasn't a word elemano yeah e l l l l m e n o w but we were all like our when we were in school ireland hadn't adopted this yet and uh we were all just expected to remember each word when we saw it you know and that's why comprehension is hard because you're not really experiencing the word. And then again, like, Maria Montessori is just so many incredible things. And if your child gets to go to a Montessori school, they're so lucky. But luckily enough, at age five when they go into primary school, they've adopted this approach to teaching now.

But they're still doing it wrong because they're still telling them the names of the letters. And it just makes everything so much harder for the kid. But here's what I will say to this mom. Go back to the start and only use sounds. You're going to have to do so much practice at home. then you're going to need to use um when you start blending like but at the bed you're going to need to show him the bed you're going to need to be pictures there's going to mean to be sounds he needs a lot of work now catching up but the most important thing that they don't tell parents is not every word can be blended there are sight words that you just have to memorize and with every boy I've ever worked with the only way of helping them with this is to write each word out really nicely on a flash card And every day you've got to go through them because they just got to remember them. I have photos of you doing this.

Yeah, but every. And because they're sight words. And it works. It works. It works. You cannot blend every word in the English language. Because there can be a similar level of despondency. And you can feel it off this one.

Yeah. It's eight. It's so embarrassing for the child. So when they're embarrassed like that, they, they remove themselves even more. Yeah. Because they're like, oh my God. It is going to happen. No, it is going to happen.

But you do need this advice that teens are often. Yeah, no, like what will happen if you don't get in there and don't do this extra work is that kid's going to become either really disruptive in class or really quiet in class. Because they're going to be so embarrassed and so aware, especially if the little, his little sister can read. I would, I would implore them to go out and buy the lemony snaker books. They are so funny and fun. Absolutely. Captain Underpants. all those, what's his name?

Pigley, the writer of those. I have them on a shop there. Yeah, we have them around. Yeah. I mean, all those books are brilliant. They're so good. They're so easy. They're fun.

The kids get true to them quite fast and they feel like they're reading books that they like. You just have to ignite the interest in whatever. It doesn't matter what they're reading as long as they're reading something, you know. Well, I hope that's a help. And I hope that you know that you can email Tina and she will provide resource. and videos and places that you can go to get even more on this. And I have to stress. It is hard. Sounds are hard.

Like when I was training to be a teacher and doing the sounds. You found it hard. Oh my God, it took me ages. It took my ear ages. Like so long. So it's going to be equally as hard for the kid. And it is just a struggle of, they've learned the name of the sound, the letter. And now they're like the sound.

And you can do that by actually just saying to them, okay, there are two parts of this. Yes, the name of this sound is A, but the sound it makes is a. Right. So it is a duck, but it quacks. Yes. This is a honey or any of your kids. This was a bit of a serious episode. I don't think so at all. I've had such great laugh. I love the people know now that you stamp your foot when you get true. It's so embarrassing because I do need it. Guys, I am on tour as I said, Gasman, the brand new stand-up show going absolutely everywhere. Four nights in London and Leicester Square Theatre. are now completely sold out.

There are two more nights in May. One of those is gone and the second one is going to be added very shortly. As we said, we're coming back to America, Boston, Philly, New York, three dates in America. And we put on sale a whole raft of Canada dates. I'm so excited to go to Canada. It isn't until October, but it is going to be the end of the tour. Really, a lot of this tour is already sold out. So please go to jigsar.com.

I look here are you. Pretty cool. The other thing that's sold out is the Gopshite Guidebook. The book that I released just before Christmas completely sold out but going back into shops at the end of this month or come and see the show

and we're selling the book in the lobby. Yeah and your Irish Mommy T-Tee-Tel is there. It's a perfectly good T-Town. There's nothing wrong with that T-Tel and you're always using my good T-Totels to clean your boots. This T-Tel is made of the finest cotton

and printed by big, strong Irish lads from the West of Ireland has all of the Irish Manny phrases on it and it's only 10 euros. The book is 15. I'll do you a deal of the two for 30 if you come to the show. Tina, thank you so much for this episode. Really great stuff.

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