Honey You're Ruining Our Kid - Secret Eaters, Girlfriend Sleepovers & The Hulk Whisperer - S2Ep20

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

If you're exhausted and out of ideas, if you can't summon the energy to deal with another one of your kid's tantrums, if you feel like you just need 30 minutes with people who get it. You are in the right place. Welcome back to another episode of Honey You’re Ruining Our Kid. Thank you to the legend that is Bridget for this extra Monday off in Ireland. If you're not in Ireland, take today off and say it's part of your religious beliefs.Question 1- A parent gets in touch about a teenage sleep over dilemma! What do you do when your daughter wants a sleep over with 4 of her close friends but one of them is her girlfriend? Is it okay to say no to partners in the house before the age of 16. How do you navigate this intimate situation when other parents have expressed their approval. Do you dig the heels in or is there another way?Question 2 - How do we help our children understand what they are feeling? This week a mum gets in touch exhausted by her child’s dramatic outbursts. How do you educate your child about their feelings and how to navigate the constant emotional waves? Question 3- Weight issues are the thing that’ll keep any parent up late at night. Trying to get your child to love themselves and be body proud is a constant battle in the current image obsessed media age. What do you do if you uncover that your child is secretly eating while you all sleep?Pop on over to Patreon to support the creation of this show and to hear further section on family etiquette and teenage difficulties. www.patreon.com/irishmanabroad If you are having any parenting nightmares, if they just won't listen, if some shit just hit the fan and you have nowhere to turn...get those parenting questions into [e-mail]. 

Hello and welcome to this short week. Honey, you're ruining our kid. If you're living in Ireland, St. Bridget's Day. Finally being recognised as the bank holiday it deserves as a Kildare man. I've always believed in this, but you've believed in it as a suffragetting feminist. I have to say though i've never met anyone who knows more about saint richard than you than me obviously going up it went in and you know have you ever been more grateful for a day off i mean bank holidays and you know i think we haven't

talked for ages on the show about fatigue as tina does a perfect yawn right at the spot where i say fatigue i am feeling particularly exhausted today i don't know why i am just having a flat day do you like think i'm just getting old i think I've been getting old since I was 11. Yeah, well, we're definitely all getting old all the time. But I don't know. It's like there's a nostalgia in your head at all times for a period when you weren't this tired as a parent. But, you know, our kid is not where a lot of you are.

We're getting up in the middle of the night. No, we're over that. A little nap the night. No, we're over that. A little nap in the afternoon. We're through all that. And I'm still boxed. But I haven't got that hazy fog tiredness. Yeah, the kind of sicky. Where I didn't really know up from down.

I did set off the house alarm today because I forgot the house alarm was on. Honestly, Gerard. A good moment. I'm still angry about that. Get over it. I know. Get over it. No.

Last night, the only thing I said to Gerard, Gerard was like, I'm going for a long run in the morning. Long run normally means I'm waking up really early and I'm going to wake everyone up. And I just said to him, Gerard, please, please, please don't wake me up. Because normally you wake me up by going, Tina, I'm going on my long run now. And I'm like, I couldn't give less of a fuck about your long run. Just don't die in it and regret. Yeah. And instead, you get up.

I don't wake up to that. Yeah, I did well. Schlit out of the bed. Fucking house alarm going off. And I'm like, you got to. But you have no idea. You're a very light sleeper, Tina. No, it's a loud alarm.

I was so disappointed in you. I couldn't go back to sleep. That's how angry you were. Sorry, my braces are particularly tight tonight. So I'm sounding a bit... You as a parent, when you get upset, you find it hard to get it back on track. Yeah, I do.

The disappointment goes so deep in you. Oh, I don't tend to get disappointed with Mikey, though. That disappointment is just with you. No, I'm talking about where you get upset. Where you get so riled up by something that's happened that you can't unsee it. Honestly, it's only you that brings out that emotion in me. Okay. We should get Mikey in here.

It's definitely not just me. But it is true. I recognise that you are raising two kids. If I go sad, I can't get out of it. I find it so hard. So I think this isn't a bad one to put to the listeners. Is that a problem for you? Do you find when your kid pisses you off that you can't

get the show back on the road if this is a thing that affects you too how do you shake it off how do you reset take out the cartridge blow into it turn on and off the computer and get the show back on the road because honestly you can carry it for the day oh but it's and i mean that with all due respect yeah but that's a little bit unfair what you're saying because so that you respect it and count no because i definitely try and keep the show on the road a lot of the time it's only when i feel like you've gone uh beyond what we agreed on. And I'm like, oh, Jar, we talked about this. That's a point where I'm like, I can't get back. Or if Mikey lies.

If Mikey lies, that hurts me on another level. Like last night, we're in the car. And I'm like, we bring him to a basketball match. Incredible. So much fun. On the way home, I'm like, is there something in your mouth? He's like, no. I was like, that's weird. It sounds like there's something in your mouth he's like no i was like that's weird it sounds like there's something in your mouth so it's 10 it's nearly 10 o'clock so

i'm like in our house i'm like we can't have sweets after eight because you're not gonna sleep except for me i leave them until you go to bed and then i said mikey i think there's something in your mouth he goes nope and then he opens his mouth and that's real defiance yeah like fully like at an airport uh tina said open your mouth lift your tongue yeah and there is a fizzy mentos and he's still denying it no there's nothing in there that's an optical illusion and i just go well here's here's the thing angry i just go sad we've had many questions on lying on the show uh dishonesty truth and like along with the tiredness this seems to be a universal everyone is dealing with the life economy of truth bending the truth uh twisting things to be well i never said that i did you know and it's so

annoying when people say it shows he has a great imagination said that i did you know and it's so annoying when people say it shows he has a great imagination you're like you know what i prefer honestly yeah i don't want to be raising an 80s politician but when you talk about fatigue like you did earlier honestly as we get older because i've been sick a long time i actually love seeing other people tired because i feel like i've been feeling tired since i was 11 since i was 11 i've been like i'm exhausted you you tina gets excited when i say we get an early night oh my god that is oh the sexiest thing you can say when jordan's like eight o'clock he's like you want to go to bed i'm like i'm there i'm already there i'm like zoom out of the room i'm in the bed i'm in this This is a little health warning for anyone.

It doesn't have to be the lads. Valentine's Day is next week. If you're listening to this podcast and you haven't got your shit together yet, lads, sort it out now. Yeah. Okay? I feel like Jarlett's always in a state of sort your shit out now because we had seen each other a lot before we start going out and i always used to joke about we

met on the 17th of february and i used to be like because you fucking cheapskate you wouldn't ask me before valentine's Hi, Tina and Char. You have answered an awful lot of my questions and or you guys have answered a lot of questions in the past. Okay, got it. But I don't think you've covered this one. My daughter's 15 and is having a sleepover and wants to invite three others. And one of them is her girlfriend.

I've always said I wouldn't let girlfriends or boyfriends stay over to my kids. However, the girlfriend's parents have said, okay, and have said my daughter can stay at theirs on their daughter's birthday. So now I'm stuck with this dilemma. Do I stick to my guns and come across as the mean parent? Or as there are others saying, should I just let them stay? Should I let her stay? This is a tough one, Tina. Good luck to you. It's definitely tricky.

And I don't know. You know me. I'm completely anti-sleepovers so i'm not really sure what to say to this mom here i feel like if sleepovers aren't a thing you normally do you can stick to your guns right i would make some shit up is that but is that a negligent thing to do what do you mean make some shit pretend that Is that a negligent thing to do? What do you mean make some shit up? Pretend that, oh, it's not going to work and say, I actually have a work thing.

I've got to do a conference call at that time. The sleepover can't actually happen. Like, it's not very farsighted of me, but I just think that you're the parent and you get to go, yeah, it doesn't actually work i have a thing and i'm really sorry to disappoint you guys well it's tricky because this mom's super amazing in that she's completely fine with her daughter having a girlfriend which is amazing for her daughter and really really open-minded of mom. But she's still a little bit uncomfortable,

as you would be with her child's partner coming over and staying in the house. Would you not just go to the other parents? Would that not be the first place to go? Because it seems like you're giving all of this power to the kid. That, like, sometimes we are at risk of going, oh, I'm not going to be like my parents, who are just, like, you know, completely,

like, we're the government we'll we'll choose I think it's perfectly acceptable for this mom to say it's okay to have your friends over but you cannot have the person you're in a relationship you're saying you don't trust me that kind of bollocks is gonna start they're 15 you can't encourage your kids to have sleepovers with their underage partners but if it's under your roof it's the same as the drinking thing i don't mind you drinking as long as you're doing it in our house but it's the same argument is my point that if you think your kids aren't going to figure out a way of getting the intimacy they need uh you're wrong and they will find a way and it just won't be on your watch you won't be there to step in or keep an eye i guess in a way when you say that if

they're having other friends there they also have to be aware of their social etiquette to those friends they're probably not going to be intimate so maybe you're worrying about nothing yeah so what do you say to this this is a dilemma i feel like it starts with the other parent yeah crossing the boundary of deciding what's okay for you yeah i think it's a i think that's a really good point i think that you should get in touch with the other parents and be like guys we need to talk about this obviously it's great that our girls have found each other and that we're both so open to this relationship and that's lovely and so supportive and welcoming to their kids but you need to set out some guidelines just as you would if they were dating a boy well you've often said on this show that the last thing you should do is try and sort some

shit out with parents at the school when kids have an argy bargy that you really do want to go take what the kid is saying as a pinch of salt get the teachers involved without going your michael has been terrible to my trevor and that's just going to lead to aggro but this is the opposite of that they're they're affectionate to each other these two girls um i just don't know how you word it though like i imagine that there are other people in similar situations how do you worry that if you go to another parent i'd imagine when it's it's still unique and if both parents are welcoming and open to their kids being gay

they're probably going to be great friends to each other it doesn't sound like it from this email because they've gone and made this choice but those are probably very eager parents trying to be cool with their kid or it's bollocks

or they didn't actually say it was okay oh yeah true because what you could do is go to them and go listen she said that you're okay with this oh that's interesting she said that you were the one that was okay i think a parent could be being played here i think that's a really smart idea because both parents are being incredibly amazing parents but it's still okay just because they're gay doesn't mean you wouldn't react the same way if they weren't and if it was a boy and three girls you wouldn't be like yeah let's do it so i feel like it's probably gonna be okay because it is a gathering yeah but the bigger problem here uncomfortable with that bigger problem here that will relate to more people is what do you do if another parent says something

is okay for your kid to do while at their house it's very hard that is a tricky dilemma because i was very close to the mom and we definitely had a very quiet period when i voiced that that's okay for your family but we don't do that really and you said that yeah i was like that's not something we do we're not gonna be doing that i had to endure maybe two three months of her not being cool with me and now it was fine yeah and i guess you got to be ready to stomach that uh but i do think that like just the call to go hey just double checking um laura says that you guys are totally fine with my claire staying over at your place uh can i just get a read on that from you is that is that the facts well i just don't know if i'm there yet i think that's perfect i think that's actually if i if i

was going to feed parents lines those are the ones i would give them so well i can't wait to hear how this pans out if you are already a patreon subscriber you will know that a lot of the time we get back the feedback email on what happened later. You'll need to be subscribed to Honey, You're Ruining Our Kid over on patreon.com forward slash irishmanabroad for the price of a fiver a month. You get access to all those extra large episodes

with the extra bits at the end and the full archive going right back to episode one, which never actually was freely available anywhere else you can see episodes one through six as i remember it are only available on patreon and of course there's hundreds and hundreds of hours of other material there for you to enjoy jarentina i'm at my wits end with my six-year-old. I have a child who doesn't use her words when she's upset. She sometimes points, but usually just whines and cries and throws a massive tantrum. You'll need last week's episodes if you've got a tantruming issue. Last week we went in deep

into the weeds, into tantrums. Get that one if you want to go back. I'm not sure how to help her. I mean, I don't know what you're going to do with this, Tina. This kid is, you know, red mist is descending and she's losing the use of her language. I've told her she's more likely to get what she wants if she stays calm and tries to tell us. Sometimes I do know what she wants if she stays calm and tries to tell us sometimes i do know what she wants and i try to get her to say it so she can properly communicate with me how can i get her to stay calm and use

her words i have two older boys who are not like this is it a girl thing i mean i think it could be specific to this girl thing or have you seen this before team well i don't think it's a gender issue i think what's probably happened is that time was put in with the other kids while she had more time to focus on feelings and reactions and that maybe just because of busyness and there being two other kids and things having to roll along this kid hasn't gotten the same um you know uh experience of that or this kid may have had the same experience as that but actually just needs more of it and what i'm saying is that... Sorry, my brace is super tight. Did you have a temper when you were a kid?

No. Well, I did. Really? In a big way. Kicked holes in walls and stuff. As a tiny, teeny, weeny kid. Tell that from my placid demeanour on the microphone. But I think it was part of being the youngest. But that is that does suggest that

you were missing an education in emotions and that is what we see with kids who are acting out that like this that they actually just need a bit of time being put into teaching them about emotions and how to react and process their feelings and that comes down to just actively talking about how you're feeling a lot and how every feeling is okay right well i would argue that getting irate is not okay and that when you go every feeling's all right it sounds like this mom is worn out by every day it would appear there is a moment in which her feelings overwhelm her to the point where she can't actually articulate what's wrong with her surely the the first port of call on this is to go we don't get furious in this house if we have a problem we say it yeah that's a natural reaction

for you to have but really what you have to do in those moments if your kid is irate or furious is to stop them and use the de-escalation script we're always talking about remind us of that again well a de-escalation script is something you do in the moment when a kid is just losing it away yeah like like completely unreachable and in that moment what's really important is that you say their name right so that they feel seen do you touch them yeah you can you can lay their hand on their shoulder and just say their name. Right. So that they feel seen. Do you touch them? Yeah, you can. You can lay their hand on their shoulder and just say their name.

So I'd be like, Charlotte, I am here. I'm sorry. Charlotte, I see you. Okay. And then you say, I can see you're very angry.

I'm really sorry something has made you feel angry. basically by that time they're like they're just relieved that you've acknowledged it's like stroking the hulk's hand and saying yeah sun's getting pretty low in the sky big guy honestly from what I've seen in my experience is that they're just at that point they're like thank you for noticing so you've watched that I've watched the absolute ice cream melt of emotion where they're like thank you for noticing so you've watched that take i've watched the absolute ice cream melt of emotion where they're like thank you for seeing that and then you're like distraction then you're like let's go walk away and clean this let's talk about this doing some kind of activity

like washing a table or i don't know bashing out mat. When should you get worried about this kid who is going supersonic? When they're hurting you. I mean, that is out of control behavior. And like, you have to remember that as the grown up, you are in charge of your reactions. What is your child seeking from acting out? They're seeking attention. So if you don't give them attention, and I mean eye contact mostly, they're not going to seek that out anymore.

So if you are able in those moments of the awful outburst to be able to say, stay calm, keep your words very small, to be able to do the de-escalation script of, I see you, I'm sorry you're feeling this way you know uh if you're able to keep it really small get them to distraction and then the minute they're in a good mood again or they're doing something positive be able to go I love seeing you like this and then give them the eye contact then then give them the feedback. You're just reprogramming them to seek other attention out, because at the end of the day, when they're acting like that,

they're just seeking you, they just want to be seen. And you have to let them feel seen in other ways. This question, I think, falls into the category of there's not enough info here but I'm really keen to know what you say to this obviously a very specific situation I think it kind of comes with a health warning if you're at all dealing with eating issues that you know this is a this is a very tricky one and multi-layered question where we only have a certain amount of info it says tina and jarleth please help me my child is a secret eater i keep catching them in the kitchen at night for ages we didn't know where

the hell the food was going or how we were getting through the weekly shop so fast. I think my kid has a real problem with this. My first question is, why the hell are they eating, do you think? Secondly, should we be worried? Is this something Tina's seen in the past? And if so, what do we do? What's the steps to be taken here many thanks anonymous okay well i think this either comes down to two things i think either this kid and maybe this household needs

to start doing a supper at night time where the kid has you know that additional meal before they go off to bed that might you think they're genuinely hungry? Yeah, well, a lot of kids are hungry during the night and they just aren't brave enough to go down to the kitchen. And I think we've always had supper in our house. Anytime I've ever told anyone about supper, it's changed their life in terms of their kid not waking up during the night. Really? And maybe this kid just needs, you know, two slices of toast and jam before bed.

Did you ever get up uh to get snacks in the night at any point in your life only when i was having really bad sleep issues and i was actually sleepwalking and sleep cooking sleep cooking i was like stepbrothers i was yeah i wake up in the morning and i would have made a stir fry i'd wake up and there'd be toasted cheese sandwich in my bed and i would have no recollection of doing it. I did that for months. So you were operating the cooker. I was getting up.

I would only I have no idea to this day how I did it, but I would wake up and there would be the plate and evidence of food in my bed. And I know that I would have been the one to have made it. The toasted cheese sandwich I'm interested in in was it a good toasty well it was always just leftover toasty so i don't even right so you had already chowed down like i know that the few uh noodley stir-fry things i mean that was just a hot mess in my bed so i would obviously go make it bring it back it's policy it'd be amazing if we get an email from your flatmate at the time going, finally, this prank. Oh, no.

Oh, well, that would be incredible. I was dumping food in your bed at night. Poor Fiona, who was my flatmate, my gorgeous friend, was just so worried for me because she wasn't waking up when I was doing it. And we were sharing a room. And in the morning, she'd be like flabbergasted. Like what was going on?

I don't think that's what's happening here. What I think might be happening is either they're hungry, going to bed, they're waking up and they're brave enough to go down to the kitchen or there is a chance your kid might have Pica. And that is, you know, a syndrome of, you know a syndrome of you know just never feeling full never feeling content always needing i wish we had more info it's honestly out of their control and if you're worried at all i would say bring that kid to the doctor i had never heard of pica until you said it to me and explained it that you were seeing it with a couple of your clients can you explain to people who think that's what my kid has well what's the difference between a kid who just mad into food

and will eat a loaf of bread in five minutes and a kid who actually has this thing well there are levels there's a spectrum of course like everything. Severe cases would be just people who can't control anything. They have to eat their own clothes. Clothes? Yeah, they are eating anything they can get their hands on. You can't really trust them in their own bed because they will eat the pillows. And this is something that pregnant women get too. Pregnant women, yeah, are likely to, who struggle with PICA during their pregnancy,

will eat coal or turf or paper. I mean, I've seen people with this eat balloons. Is it a sensory thing? It's an insatiability that they just need to chew and process the food. Is it related to anxiety? I imagine so. So it's a bit of a mystery. Yeah, it's a bit of a mystery.

It tends to be paired with a learning disability but not always and people can have it just very slightly in that they just never feel full or satisfied and they just need to have food or be chewing but like the extreme cases are like a girl i used to work with who just couldn't stop eating and to the point where i i used to have to bring her out in two hour walks every day and she would try and eat my arm and it wasn't that she was biting me it was that she just needed to chow down and it was awful i felt terrible for her i didn't feel terrible for myself but it's a very strange ailment but yeah um oh comes across in different forms there's a chance this kid has it but honestly i think maybe just a supper my sword yeah the vibe from the email

yeah you're right we need more info yeah like we'd love this person to get back and if you are emailing honey you're ruining our kid at gmail.com don't be afraid to give the backstory yeah i won't read it out necessarily on the show but it'll help tina create a strategy yeah like i edit down the emails every week yeah we couldn't possibly read out a full email and also i get those emails where people are like please don't don't put it on the show that's fine so so what your strategy is here is to start if you are experiencing this kids getting up in the middle of the night sneaking snacks start with supper explain like i can't believe i'm saying this but what does supper look like in your opinion is it just before bed before they brush their teeth is it a half an hour before honestly i think even if

your kid's not getting up during the night supper is the cutest thing you might do as a family ever we've been doing it forever on the advice of my mom which helped us immediately with mikey sleeping and i just think it's emelina yeah emelina and he loved it and honestly the minute we started doing it he stopped waking up during the night um i think it's like 40 to an hour before bedtime fills him up and he also can feel a bit warmer in the bed as the digestive system tries to break because you're giving them toast or crackers or something and a glass of milk it actually it helps them relax and feel allow the tiredness to come into their bones.

We all feel a bit puked after some carbs. It was a game changer for us. I do encourage other people to do it. So whether your child's getting it or not, it's a cute thing to bring in. Okay. And I know I do this all the time. The wider issue is that, is it possible that this family or, it's look it's a really common thing we're in a world where weight body shape body image is being talked about way more than ever before

boys now are presenting with eating disorders body dysmorphia like should the family start thinking about that and how they're discussing food what they're talking about like why does this kid feel shame around going to get snacks why can't this kid even knock on his parents door go mom dad i'm starving that's an interesting point because i didn't even think of that i did good tina's yawning sorry i'm so sorry it's late i didn't even think of that because i just assumed that it was you know either they're hungry and they're brave enough to go down or maybe there's something else but maybe there is shame around the food maybe he is eating at nighttime by himself maybe he is gorging in that he feels relaxed to doing that and you're right i mean food

terrifies me i am always trying to get that right in terms of you know the the dialogue being correct i know and i do come from a place where like it was talked about in a strange way in my family because of horse racing yeah my family were in horse racing and the lightest jockey is the best jockey and somewhere along the line that went in that went in yeah and it's scary because we have a very open house i'm very we both push the whole dialogue of the more you eat, the stronger you are, the more energy your body's getting. You're growing, you're fueling your body. Still not doing it right. Yeah, somehow.

We're not getting it right. But I was blown away when I came to your house first and how much they were like, get that food into you. Whereas I definitely was like, from a background where it was like, well, why would you eat so much? Yeah, but I grew up in, like you say, that house. And I considered the more food I ate, the stronger I got, the bigger I was, the better. It was a mark of a good person. But it doesn't transcend everyone because we're very much following that model and still. Still there. And it's still, look, I think that I'd be interested to know, do they even say what age this kid was?

No. Yeah. See, that's going to affect things too. Tina just threw the wedding ring on the floor and was like, fuck this podcast. My wedding ring just fell off my finger. Why don't we get more from this person in the weeks to come? And if you have a secret eater on your hands, get in touch with the show.

Honey, you're ruining our kid at gmail.com. That is it for our free episode here on the free platforms apple podcast soundcloud wherever you're listening to this give us a rating a comment and a subscription or if you're really loving the show or you want to support the show the best way to do that is to come over to patreon.com forward slash irishman abroad and as we said get a whole chunk more each week is tina is there anything you want to add there well i want to say that i am sorry for being a little bit tired tonight while we record and emotional tired and emotional but uh we had the most amazing

weekend celebrating jarlet's seven year anniversary of donating his kidney to his brother we all have those days hon you don't need to apologize well i woke up today feeling you couldn't get your energy right i've been broken for the whole day imagine you had a tiny little baby and you felt like that i remember having a tiny little baby and feeling like that and i do you couldn't get it right today i couldn't get it right today the whole day i just my eyes have been closing my brain doesn't want to function i don't know but this has been a fucking great episode what I do know is though on Friday it was pretty magic we went away we toasted to you and your kindness and I think it's really important to remember that

we're we really were celebrating kindness this weekend and focusing on doing really beautiful things and knowing that that's our stamp well getting to talk to mikey about donating if people don't know i don't bring it up much donated a kidney to my brother seven years ago and you know i have heard discussions on other podcasts this week where people are going you could never make me do that i could never do that i would do that for a million pounds um and you know mikey asked me at breakfast why did you do it and i said because it was the right thing to do yeah and to me that was why it was a no-brainer it was an a thing that was presented to me i was asked to do a thing and you know I did have Mikey in my head to model for him forever more that the right choice is often the hardest choice yeah but you say it like that and it's all

very well and good and you did a beautiful thing but the scary thing for our family that we never talk about is that i will also need a kidney at some point yes and i did not want you to donate to your brother because i was like first of all he could do it doing dialysis for a little while which is something i think yeah breeds gratefulness they didn't do it like just because for the crack he didn't need it at that moment in time he absolutely needed a kidney but definitely living through dialysis

would have changed the whole dynamic of the whole thing even a week but I don't think I would put anybody through dialysis no it's horrific

it is and what you did for your brother is amazing what you mean is the timing for our family he was so small could have waited

until the summer holidays oh yeah it didn't need to be done straight away and you were like gung ho and incredible is the timing for our family. Mikey was so small. I could have waited until the summer holidays. Oh, yeah. It didn't need to be done straight away. And you were like gung-ho and incredible. You were like, I've got to do this for my brother. I want to make his life better.

And that was amazing. Right away, yeah. But for me, I was also like, darling, I'm going to need a kidney. And there is still a bit of me that thinks,

well, what if we're a match? Because now we just can't even ever test that. And even if we weren't, there is a thing that you guys should look into called the transfer network that you can altruistically donate a kidney into the network yeah they will swap it with someone who isn't a match like this thing spans continents yeah and that's incredible but still our own personal story was that i i'm going to need a kidney you've already given yours away yeah which is great your brother's flying and all that's fantastic i do think it's incredible what you

did to your brother and it has taken me a long time to come around because up until the minute they put me under put jarlett under i was like jarlett don't do it like up until the minute so yeah which was really helpful we the time we've been together for so long and I've been by your side for everything and having your back that was the only time

when I was like I'm not on board with this I don't want to do this to the very last minute yeah and yeah I am

glad you did it I think you're an incredible person thank you if we were going to go back what would I do I would be tougher by saying don't do it I. I think you're an incredible person. Thank you. If we were going to go back, what would I do? I would be tougher about saying don't do it. I think I'd convince you again. Guys, thank you so much for listening.

As I said, come on over to Patreon. Here's the rest. We're going to talk about family etiquette. We're just talking about families there. We're going to talk about etiquette at family gatherings. Are you heading to a particularly tricky family gathering? it at family gatherings are you heading to a particularly tricky family gathering how are you going to avoid the bust up or the kids getting into it because this can be a problem we got communion season confirmation season coming up uh i'm obviously joking about the kidney thing

oh you don't need to say that uh come on over patreon.com forward slash irish number one thanks love you love you too