House of R - Our 10 Favorite Ships, Sex Scenes, and Seminal Love Stories of the Century (So Far)

Episode Date: February 13, 2026

Mal and Jo celebrate another Valentine's Day together by pairing their annual V-Day Quickie with the next installment of the Best of the Century (So Far) series. Talk about a hookup! They share their favorite descriptions of love, sex scenes, surprise pairings, and more!(00:00) Intro(05:12) The Rules(10:38) Favorite Couple That We Actually Got(21:21) That's What the FanFic Is For(36:05) Surprise Pairing You Wound up Caring About the Most(43:00) No. 1 Champion Yearner(50:05) Passionate First Kiss(56:27) Hottest Sex Scene(01:05:57) The Sex Scene That Made You a Romantasy Fan(01:20:37) I Have Questions About the Physics(01:38:26) Most Gorgeous Description of Love(01:46:32) Poignant PartingHosts: Mallory Rubin and Joanna RobinsonProducer: Carlos ChiribogaSocial: Jomi AdeniranAdditional Production Support: Arjuna Ramgopowell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and welcome back to what is potentially the last House of Our we will ever record. I'm Dwayne Robinson. That is Valerie Rubin. It is our third annual Valentine's Day Quickie. We're here today to test the bounds of our HR department to test the patients of our producer Carlos, who is poor man in the room with us. Mere feet away. It's just an all-time pod to wind up in this studio for us. As we read some things, that Mallory and I both are unsure we feel up to reading on this very podcast. You know what? We're going to see how it feels in real time. We've got a little foreplay, a little warm up. We'll see how the mood strikes us in real time. This is a confluence of multiple series. It's not only our third V-Day Quickie. It's our fifth best of the century so far podcast. We're combining series. It's a sweaty melding of bodies and forms. We're not going back after this.

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We are. When is the actual calendar ever stopped us before? That's a great question. Before we get to our roles of what we're doing here today, again, once again, perhaps the last house of our we will ever record. You know what? We're going to be fine. If we don't. And our podcast right here right now today on Sunday, we will be back with an episode Talk the Throne.

with Chris Ryan, you, me, dunk, egg, and the whole gang will be there right after the episode airs on Sundays, episode five. Wonderful. We'll do a deep dive on Tuesday. Deep. A long, long marathon recording that will, you know, test everyone's endurance. Some people will be diving deep today as well. And then Buffy, Season 3, Part 2, allegedly.

It's happening. After that next week. So that is what is happening. I have presents for you guys. Carlos already knows. Oh, Buffy presents? Yeah. Now it's just sort of like just been sitting there. Time to bring him in. Dusty, dusty Buffy presents. I was like, are you taking those in? Great. We will be doing that podcast. Mallory. Joanna, my darling. How can people make sure they don't miss the podcast if indeed it does exist beyond today?

We're just talking about content, you know? Yeah. We're just talking about content. It's all canon. It is. And so it's all fair game and all in bounds today. Here's what I would recommend, as always, follow the pod. Follow House of R on Spotify or you get your podcast, you can watch full video episodes. I don't know why I'm doing the Sir Arland dick size. You know why. Or do I know why? In a certain headspace already. Sir Arland did not make the pod today, sad to say, but did he make my list? That's right. I don't know your list, as we'll explain shortly. Follow the pod. You can also watch full video episodes of House of R on the Ringervor's YouTube channel, so that's wonderful. And you can follow the Ringervverse on the social media platform of your choosing. We're on Twitter. We're on

Instagram. We're on TikTok. It's been a minute since I've been on Twitter. I think the way you just said we're on Twitter is how everyone feels when they log on to Twitter. We're on Twitter? We're everywhere. And while you are at it, your phone is in your hand, you're at your computer. Send us an email. The inbox is always open.

Hobbit and Dragons at gmail.com. We still, we don't know when. Maybe it'll be in the year 2037 at this point, but we still intend at some point to conclude the best of the century so far series when we decide it is the right moment to conclude it with a kind of grab bag episode, a best of the rest. The bad babies, you've already sent to so many wonderful nominations for categories. Keep them coming. Sure. Fraising.

We also mentioned that we might be doing a mailbag soon, so we've been getting a lot of random mailbag questions from people. That's great. I'm saving them up. Wonderful. I think we have an open spot coming in a couple weeks. Amazing. Spoiler warning.

As always, for Best of the Century, it's just a pretty sweeping one. Anything that happened from 2000 to now is on the table. That's right. is on the table. Yes. As always, there's like an indication of what we will be talking about for a few moments at a time.

You can skip ahead if you want. Carlos will do a wonderful job of putting chapter headers in so you know like, okay, if I want to skip this conversation, I go to the next spot. I could just click a little thing there. Technology would have marvel.

Obadiastain technology. There's one thing I picked today where I'm like, this is really the spoil. There's a lot of spoilers, but one clip I picked feels almost, I might give an extra spoiler warning right on the precipice of that clip. House of R always contains adult content.

we really mean it today. Yeah. We love hearing how like your young children listen to the pod. It's honestly, it's a marveled awesome. This might not be the one for them. We also got a couple like, unless it's time for them to learn. We got some pearl clutching emails recently from listeners and that's fine if things are too spicy for you. I'm just telling you that was mild compared to what you might experience from us today.

So let's go now. This is, this is, we haven't really said what we're doing. It's like lust, lust, love, sweet, salty, spicy, all of the things that you would. want on a Valentine's Day quickie and we will get into those rules. Ships, couples, pairings, romance, hookups, all of it. Starting now. So here's the rules. Yeah.

Originally we were going to do our top 10 like ships of the quarter century and then we realized we didn't know how to really define that. And so Mallory came up with a brilliant idea while watching the Super Bowl question mark. Yeah. Then instead of counting down from 10 to one for one topic, we would have 10 prompts and categories today. So this is closer to like what we did with like our Nolan episode. You know, we just came up with a bunch of little best X, best Y, best triple X, best

pornographic, whatever, et cetera. Our picks as always are surprises for each other. Do you think my list is actually going to be a surprise to you? No, you told me earlier that I will not be surprised by anything and here's my gift to you. I challenged myself to try to pick almost nothing from things that I've picked before. I did not do the same. Because when we've been making these lists, and that's fine. When we've been making these lists, I've been like, what's my Star Wars pick?

What's my Marvel picks? What's my drones pick? You know? And so, because we were, I think we were really anxious in other series of, like, really representing, like, the full scope of the last 25 years. This is going to just really encapsulate. I'm not promising that today. Today, I just went with whatever I thought was sweet, was spicy, was fun.

And I wanted to highlight some, we've got some book sources today. We do. We've been doing TV and film. We've got some book sources. The whiteboards are back. The whiteboards are back, baby. For Smuddy Pictionary. They were a hit last year.

And now we know how to aim them at a camera so that people can see what we're doing. I don't know if we know how to aim them at a camera. Carlos knew to tell us before that we did not know how to aim them at the camera previously. Last time, but this time. And he's confident that we will do better. We will do better. Okay. So in terms of the like topic selection and franchises and stuff, I think I mentioned this last, best of the century pod that I was starting to

to feel this. This was the one where I was really like, if I had one do-over, one bulligan on this, a series I have loved and adored and had a genuine blast doing. It's been so fun to do this. If I had known for sure, if we had known for sure what the topics for all of them were going to be in advance. I'll just save some things. Because like there's a thing that I was like, I just can't keep it off the list, but I have already picked something from that specific, very specific thing, not just property, but like episode of television. Had a couple of those things. Then I decided not to care because I'm following my heart and also my loins. Here we are today. I don't think we should worry at all today about anything that we picked. The heart is driving the boat to the love boat today and that is fine.

The heart and some other things. And some other body parts. Okay, eligibility. January 1st, 2000 through this very moment, even though it is now 2026. Correct. What is time? We don't care. Source material can be older if it's an adaptation. Right. So, Lord of the Rings, if you're like, gosh, I really want to talk about Sam and Rosie Cotton. Just because Tolkien wrote about them Exactly. Decades ago, a film version of them exists inside of this quarter century. Just so. Yeah.

Properties. They must be from genre tales. So if conceivably we might have covered it here in House of R, it qualifies. So we're not going to the cottage. We're not doing heated rivalry. Sadly not. We would love to talk about heated rivalry. And we have loved talking about Heated Rivalry.

And we did over on the Prestige TV podcast fee, which you can, but not in House of R. So there's going to be a lot of faves that are not going to make it here today. And that's what the email inbox is for. You guys, or the comment section, you know, or the Facebook page or the Reddit or whatever the case may be, you can rage about what we missed. That's part of the fun of lists like this. So it's great. Books as we mentioned are in the mix today. We have lengthy, ill-advised passages to read aloud at work.

This is our job and this is Carlos' job. Great. So ill-advised book passages. whiteboard pictonary, video clips. This is one you really, I think, want to watch. I'd say so. Yeah. I mean, we encourage you to watch all of our pods because it's a real pivot to video time in our nation.

But with the whiteboard pictonary and with the absolute tomato red, my face will turn as I read some of these things aloud. Yeah, we'll match this cup. You might want to watch this. I'm just saying, so. I, you know, I think whatever sensory experience feels right and most fulfilling to you. Great. It's, yeah, if it's too much to look at us, that's fair. That's fine. As we always say, this is favorites.

Not comprehensive. So once again, take your arguments to the comments. We would love to see what you feel like we missed. Your nominations throw out your favorites. These are our favorite things. I don't think anyone who has ever listened to an episode of House of R, an episode of binge mode, or you watch. It's a big pick. Watch any podcast I've been on, probably an episode of like a sports show at some point.

It's going to be surprised by anything I say today. I don't think I will have any surprises. maybe one, but it's going to be, I'm playing the hits. And I love that. We love the hits. And I, I'm fulfilling the role of, hey, maybe you haven't heard of this, and I can entice you to reading it or watching it by reading something allowed to you that might get me fired. So, fantastic.

I can't wait. Let's go now to the categories. Okay. Our first and foremost, this is the one where mine, I think is very predictable. But our first category is favorite couple that we have. actually got. I believe we both have clips for this one. You want to go first? Um, sure, Carlos, will you please play this absolutely safe for work genuinely clip? Mine is also safe for work on this first one. I got you.

When you kiss me, James? You got it on me. The best. I thought there, I had two, Joe will pick this or this. They were obviously one of them. I them coming in another category. Okay, great. Fantastic stuff. That's Juliet and Sawyer from Lost. And I almost picked them in a different category.

And I can maybe predict which one you would have them in. But this is not sort of the one of the core-core relationships inside of Lost, except it is for me and it is for you. No doubt. And it is very, very important. It comes sort of late in the game. And that, spoilers for Lost is from the very end of Lost. So, sorry. But when we're talking about genre stories, you know, we've talked about this as we've done these best of the quarter century, I kind of want to highlight some love stories or some sexual positions that you would only find yourself in inside of a genre story. That's not requirement. But it's just something that I thought would be kind of nice to highlight. So in this case, you know, a couple that has been parted in life are reunited in some version of an afterlife. And so this scene at the vending machine, Sawyer and Juliet at the vending machine.

you and I almost started crying. It's just one of the all-time. The Michael Jekino score kicks in. They repeat words that they have said elsewhere in the show, and it's just like magic. One of the best things that's ever happened on television. So favorite couple that we actually got, this is my most predictable answer in the entire list.

It's Sawyer and Juliet from Lost. I have no notes. Thank you. Can I guess yours? I would be astonished if you couldn't guess it. Is it a president? Maybe. Okay.

Can we see it, please, Carlos? Missed you. Me too. Those are my goats. You came up with some of these categories and you know, and you sent them to me and I was like, I'm pretty sure she wants to do Roslyn and Adama here in the first category. Easiest one. I mean, no matter what form this pot had taken, I would have found a way to talk about them early and often. They are my favorite fictional couple of all time.

Genre, yeah, but just in general. This is, of course, again, we said spoilers. Admiral Adama and President Laura Roslin. That is from season four, 2008 episode The Hub. And we had the pleasure of talking about this recently with Rob, over on prestige. You guys were doing the hooked series. We talked about a season one Battlestar episode. And it was like the least, I think,

needed a push ever in my life to just fall fully back into a thing that I loved. So here's an excuse. We're covering, well, actually, two episodes. I was going to say one, two episodes of television and I'm just going to rewatch the whole series. And I already, like, I think before revisiting Battlestar would have had them as, you know, my favorite couple. Revisiting the series has just really cemented that further. I think that the slow build and simmering burn, the fact that we don't get that moment, the declaration the way that Roslyn whispers, I love you. And she has been waiting to say it and he

has been waiting to hear it and just the fact that he is there to find her, has waited for her. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life as a viewer, like waiting and hoping. And for all the way from season one, like shipping them and anticipating and the thrill that you feel as a viewer who has invested in their relationship when you finally get to watch them embrace each other fully after all of these little moments, a gentle kiss, you know, pinning on the new sign of rank, getting high together down on new Caprica, the hair growing out, change. And the fact that it's like not easy for them, right? It feels so, even though the circumstances to your point about a fantasy tale, this apocalyptic pursuit of a new home

and saving humanity, there's something so relatable and core about it that I love. Like, you're not instantly always in that place with somebody where you want to be or where you wind up. And the fact that they are like reluctant allies out of necessity and then don't always agree. Don't always see things the same way at some points are actively opposed to each other, but then really authentically form this bond of appreciation and understanding and support and friendship, you know, that foundation that they build their attraction and their romance and their love on. And, you know, on the spoiler front, like the conclusion of the series and seeing Adama sitting there on the hillside and looking out and talking about laying out the cabin is just I'm not sure I've ever cried more my life than seeing that for the first time. So I think there's something about, you know, one of in our best of the century speeches episode, I highlighted the Adama speech from the very beginning of the series, the miniseries, you know, and that idea of like,

When we fought the silence, we did it to save ourselves from extinction, but we never answered the question, why? Why are we as a people worth saving? And, like, the thing that Rosalind and Adama find with each other is, like, the answer to that question, you know? And so I just love it so much in the idea that it's never too late. Like, at any point in your life, you can find somebody who makes you feel that way, who lights that sparking you. I just think it's, like, so inspiring and so beautiful, and I love them. I don't know if you found this when you were making your list, but I think I only have one movie on. here because when it comes to doing love stories, television, the time you get to spend, time spent

with characters, books as well, but like time spent with characters, especially TV is so good at the will they won't they, the yearning, the like, you know, as you mentioned, the little touch, a kiss here, a little touch there. When we talk about ships and shippers and people wanting couples to get together, you often find that, you know, they exist in the films, Railo Shippers, we see you. But like, you know, in terms of television fandom, collecting little clues, little nuggets, little moments, little glances, and also as TV creators, finding chemistry inside of your cast.

You know, so for people like... The opportunity. People like Juliet and Sawyer, which was like, you know, Juliet doesn't join the cast until season three is like never really sort of like a plan that they have. But you just find these natural sparks between actors and then you can just go down that avenue because, you know, TV is a reactive medium. And so you can just, like, create your story based on what audiences are responding to, based on what you find organically inside of your performers. And that just, like,

lends itself to love stories so well because you just get to watch them blossom and grow organically inside of a story, another story that you're telling. And so many times, some of the most impactful stories that people find themselves falling into, like the love story kind of swallows some of the other story because that is just such a powerful, emotional connection that people can make with characters. And when we talk about loving characters on an arc, when we talk about redemption arcs, a lot of times those redemption arcs are inside of love stories. Like, I want to be better and worthy of this love, you know? So I thought that was just like a really interesting thing to talk about because when I was trying to drill down on like favorite love

stories are favorite sexy moments or whatever. Sex too, because in the context of a will they won't they, there's all that tension buildup of like there's attraction clearly, but what are the circumstances? And inside of a genre story, what are the options that you can create for like various circumstances to keep your characters apart? Yes. You know? No question. I have a couple movies on here, but I also have a very TV and novel heavy list. And I think that for exactly the reason you're identifying. You know, not every couple or sex scene or sexy moment or a display of yearning necessarily like resonates with me or any other person because it makes you think about your own life. Sometimes it can be the exact opposite, right? Okay, this is a thing that makes me think

of somebody I did know and maybe something we had or maybe something we never got to have. maybe this is like a you form a relationship to a certain genre or a certain story because you're like, I don't have this in my life at all. And it's, this is a way to engage with it. But I think broadly, TV allows you to feel the rhythm of a life lived and the rhythm of the way that people form relationships with each other or lose them over time too. And the pain that you feel when something eludes you that you've wanted for so long or when you have it and then it's not what you thought it would be or it is for a minute. and then it ceases being that, which is maybe the most painful reality of all.

Like, that's a product of time. You know, it's a product of time and the wanting and the need that builds. I once had the opportunity to ask Damon Lindelof, creator of Lost, about, like, why he was so interested in time, love stories and time. Yep. And, like, I don't think I got an entire, I've talked about this on the podcast before. I don't think I got, like, a really satisfactory answer from him. like, I do think it's worth contemplating. They're just sort of like the time to miss something, the time to figure out what you actually

want, all this sort of stuff. But like, for Sawyer and Juliet, or I don't have the leftovers on my list today, unlike many of our other list, just because I feel like I've done it. But, you know, the time you get at the end of that show and what that means for the lovers at the center of the story. Speaking of things that allude you, as you mentioned, the next category is that's what the fanfic is for. Ships we never got that you still

ride for. Mallory, do you have a clip for this one? I do. And I just want to say, and I'll explain why shortly, this is my one real, like, violation of the prompt today. I don't think I honored the sanctity of the prompt, and I want to admit that up front, Carlos. Can we see my clip? Also a huge

spoiler, this clip. But I've spoiled this on other podcast before. Mallory's wearing her Obi-Wan shirt. by animated Obi-1 shirt. That is not quite her size. It's a little loosey-goosey. This was a gift from a bad baby

and a binge-head. Thank you, Cassie. It's my first time wearing it, and I'm thrilled. It's amazing. Listen, is this what the spirit of the exercise was meant for? Do you want to explain what that was

if cases we weren't watching? Yes. So that is animated Obi-Wan. Yeah. One of the great loves of my life and the Duchess Seteen from the wonderful animated series Star Wars, the Clone Wars. That episode is from season five. The Lawless, as I said, apologies

for the spoilers. That's from 2013. So am I cheating with this one? Yes. Because they did have a d'alliance. They did have a romance. They have history and the history that they have is part of what we get to discover starting in season two, Voyage of Femptation when Sateen enters the story and we get to see who she was to Obi-Wan and who he was to her. that episode when she is in a very precarious position not in the way that some other people will be in other passages that come up today

and she's declaring her love and he's like, this is hardly the time or the place for she gives him this look and he says okay had you said the word I would have left the Jedi order she calls a Moby and so right away you're like my understanding of someone and something has been radically altered by this right

and then you have seasons of watching them together. And for me, it really changed my understanding of Obi-One one of my favorite characters and fiction, but also crucially how I thought about his relationship with Anakin, a character who's defined by the way that his draw and his love and his need also his need to control and violate the natural order. Just put that in as a little caveat. Let him astray. So look, are you going to pick a ship that we literally never got to see or know that they engaged with each other romantically at all in honor the prompt, maybe possibly.

I did not do that because, even though we know that they had history in their past when they were together when they were younger and that they loved each other, I have so desperately wanted to actually see them together and we haven't gotten that.

So that is what the fanfic is for. Exactly. And I hope you get to enjoy some settee. Is that what will like sort of break the damn open for you on fanfic if you, if I send you some Obi-1 Satine fanfic? That would be great. I would love it.

There's also a lot of heated rivalry fan. I'm ready. I remember I was thinking back to when we were doing like our preview episode for the Obi-1 television series. And talking a lot about Obi-1 and Satin then and really like really allowing myself to dream and believe that maybe we would get like a flashbacker that time together or like a sexy dream at some point. A mini episode. Yeah, I can't help it.

So, you know, in the lawless, that's. episode. They couldn't get Nicole. Exactly. Exactly. The fact that he is there in the first place, even just the red coloring, so there's like a little bit of a like, oh, I'm not in my classic, you know, bathed in blue and light. Typically, when we think of Obi-1 and red, we think of another alternative ship. Ventriss also would be applicable here, by the way. He's like, I thought the council didn't want you to be. I do my own bidding. Such an Anakin idea. He even takes Aniken ship there. It's just wonderful stuff. And so when we see Anakin and Obi-Wan in season six of the Clone Wars and obviously Padme is very present in the text.

And Obi-1 says, I understand to a degree what is going on. You've met Satin. You know I once harbored feelings for her. It's not that we're not allowed to have those feelings. It's natural. It's the kind of thing that I just was like, I wish we had so much more of this across other aspects of their relationship in the canon. So I love Obi-1.

He's really hot, animated Obi-1, live-action Obi-1, the Obi-1 who lives in our minds on the printed page, all hot. and getting to think about what it would be like to watch him and the judge of Sateen, fuck, is very important to me. And so they had to be present on my list. They didn't make it in another category. And so this was the one. And here they are.

Here they are. I'm going to hit you with some other options before I hit you with my real answer here, okay? I don't have Zuko and Katara on here. They're my runner up. But like, because I've done Avatar enough, but like Zooka and Guitar, I think are classic example of this. that's what the fanfic is for, Dremini, obviously, Draco and Hermione, which is just sort of like... Is that not your pick? No.

Wow, because I know that's a... Again, I talked about Germini a lot. It's a big... We all know. Do I have a passage here that I could read? I do, but I'm not going to read it. Okay. I want to honor the larger shipping universe and say,

Dean and Castiel from Supernatural is like one of the all-time fans were really convinced they were going to give it to them in the finale, and then they didn't. So they never got that. So there's a ton of Dean and Castile. in fiction that exists. Crowley and Azir fail, like, stay tuned. We don't know what's going to happen, but as of right now, we're in a tough spot.

But what I'm really bringing to the table here is... We're going to Finn and Poe? We're not. Though, Diana suggested Finn and Poe. They're running up for me as well. It's a great pick. We're going to the library. We are going to Lee Bardugo's books,

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom. And the couple here is Kaz Breckx. and Inge Gaffa. And for anyone who has not read Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom or watched the sometimes good, sometimes bad, Shadow and Bone Netflix adaptation, which took some of Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom and put it inside of this story, Kaz Brecker and Inge got, like, Kaz is this like crime kingpin of a sort, very young, but like a crime boss with a little crew. And Inge is like sort of his, his wraith, he calls her, assassin. She's just like bristling with knives always.

And she's like cat burglar-esque. And she's incredible. He had a very traumatic thing happen to him as a child where basically he wound up in a, in a watery situation. In like, I don't know, a lake, whatever, water with a bunch of dead bodies, including his beloved brother. So he has this trauma of like this childhood thing that happened to him where he was surrounded by dead body. he dresses head to toe with gloves doesn't let anyone touch him ever because of that thing that happened to him. And then Ange had also a traumatic experience growing up and that had to do with like being sold into like sex work essentially. And so they are both people who like adore

each other, rely on each other, are close as close can be and do not like to be touched. And so do not want to touch each other except they do. So I'm going to read you a passage. from Inge's point of view in Six of Crows, right? She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she'd been through. What would be the point? He took a breath. I want you to stay.

I want you to. I want you. You want me? She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. And how will you have me, Kaz? He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was a face he wore when he was fighting.

How will you have me? She repeated. Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so her lips never touch. He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed, as he turned his face to the sea. Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brecker, or I will not have you at all. Speak, she begged silently. give me a reason to stay.

For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving too. The sails creaked. The clouds parted for the moon, then gathered back around her. Anesh left Kaz with the wind howling and dawn still a long while away. So that's, I will have you without your armor is like an iconic Six of Crows line.

Crooked Kingdom. This is from Kaz's point of view. But she would never know what it was left. like for him to see Nina pull her close, watched Jesper loop his arm through hers, what it was to stand in doorways and against walls, and know he could never draw her nearer. But I'm here now, he thought wildly. He had carried her, fought beside her, spent whole nights next to her, both of them on their bellies, peering through a long glass, watching some warehouse or Merch's mansion. This was nothing like that. He was sick and frightened. His body slick with sweat,

but he was here. He watched that pulse the evidence of her heart. heart matching his own beat for anxious beat. He saw the damp curve of her neck, the gleam of her brown skin. He wanted to. Before he even knew what he intended, he lowered his head. She drew a sharp breath. His lips hovered just above the warm juncture between her shoulder and the calm of her neck. He waited. Tell me to stop. Push me away. She exhaled. Go on, she repeated. Finish the story. The barest movement and his lips brushed her skin, warm, smooth, beated with moisture, desire coursed through him a thousand images he'd hoarded, barely let himself imagine. The fall of her dark hair freed from its braid. His hand fitted to the lithe curve of her waist. Her lips

parted whispering his name, all of it there and then gone. He was drowning in the harbor. Her limbs were a corpse's limbs. Her eyes were dead and staring, disgust and longing, roiled in his gut. He lurched backward and pain shot through his bad leg. His mouth was on fire. The room swayed. He braced himself against the wall trying to breathe. And Nez was on her feet moving toward him. Her face concerned. He held up a hand to stop her. Don't. Mm. Mm. Almost. Almost. Again and again, but never. And it's a duology. It's not like, that's the kind of thing where you're like, and then surely Lee Bardugo wrote them together. And there's like an implication that it could happen, but she never wrote it. So that's what we were sort of

hoping the Netflix show is going to be for everybody was canceled. So that's what the fanfic. And there's plenty of Kazan Inge fanfic. But that's sort of like, you know, Sixth of Crows and Cricket Kingdom are definitely genre. But I think what's true here is even though they have this we can't touch, it's rooted in their own sort of like their trauma and their own things that they have to work past to get through to connect with each other, which I think is like very beautiful

and very strong. But love. There in my heart always, Kazan Inesh. Those passages were quite compelling. You should read the books. They're great. I mean, it's not even what the story are like crime capers, which are like their heist books, which are just like right at my alley.

And they're great. And there's like a lot of other, there are a couple other like really great love stories inside of that world, the Grishaverse. But this is, this is my jam. I do love a, as much as I love stories where people are touching each other. I do love a. And almost. There is a reason.

Yeah. their trauma and experience or some sort of supernatural, magical element that explains why these characters can't touch or that they have to work through before they can. It's very like pushing daisies. That's on my list later. Piemaker. Yeah. Chuck, to me, they were my honorable mentions. They were one of the late.

Like, oh, my God, I don't have the pie maker on here. I will just say they're in my champion yearner. Like the fact that so like if you never watched Pushing Daisies, which ran from 2007 to 2009, Lee Pace, Anna Friel, Chuck and the Piemer. basically he has this magical power where one touch to a dead body, he can bring it back. But if he touches that body again, they are dead forever, good, dead and gone. And Chuck, the love of his life. He brings her back to life and then he cannot touch her. So they smooch through Saran Wrap and they do their best.

They do their best. But yeah, that sort of supernatural I can't touch you is like so compelling. It's really great. And I told you I recently read the Jassad Air books, which I feel like you are a bit. Bad Baby recommended to us on the last V-Day episode? Maybe when we were talking about other romantasy? I don't even know. One of my pals picked it for our book club,

but there's an element of that in the story as well where two of the characters who are at the center of the tale, Aaron and Sylvia, it's a slow build and a slow burn, and it's an enemies-to-lovers trope. It's got a lot of the stuff that we like talking about on these podcasts, and there's also the element of, I don't even want to explain the details because these books are relatively new, but the barrier to consummation.

And then I think so very clever ways to explore that moving forward. Yeah. Those books are great. I kind of shudder to think what Brian Fuller would have come up for The Piemaker and Chuck in the future, given like what he got up to on Hannibal, in terms of like latex barriers and what is possible? I will just say, without any shame, that, so this is one of my pals. I won't mention her name because she doesn't want us real about her.

Our careers are on the line. No need to endanger anyone else's career. So this was a shared favorite of ours. We used to watch it together. And we would just get so in the weeds and the details of how they could fuck. And obviously, like, there are plenty of ways that you could come up with, but they're very risky, you know? Is it worth the risk? But, like, maybe it is.

Maybe it is. Maybe it is for 2007. Oh, man. You never know. Okay. The next category here is. surprise pairing you wound up caring about the most. I have a clip.

You don't have a clip for this, right? I do. Oh, you do. This is my one where I'm like, is this too much of a, is this too much of a spoiler, this clip? But you already played a clip about these characters from either, even further in the timeline. So I think it might be. There we go. We can always decide after the chairman.

Carlos? Don't you leave me. It's okay. Don't you leave me. You all right. I love you. Don't you don't let go. I love you.

James, I love you so much. No, no, no. No, you should keep it. I mean, it's the saddest I've ever been about anything. I'm a fucking life. I think it's even worse, like, because that's not even the end of that horrible encounter. Yeah, so you're in Juliet. I love that in you explaining why they were your pick for just Fave, all-time Fave,

you sort of got into why they're my pick for surprise pairing that you might have caring about the most, the nature of TV, long-form storytelling, the volume of episodes inside of seasons, volume of seasons inside of a series, the ability to move across time and space, characters who you would not have, not only not have anticipated finding this with each other, but who we had active investment in their pairings with other characters and other people, right? And one of the first things that we ever potted about together, I got to guest on your lost show. And we- Do you know I, like, constantly hear from people who are going through that?

The Lost Podcast, and when they get to our first episode together, they're like, oh, my God, the house of our origin story. It is. It's wild. And it was an episode where we got to talk about Juliet and Sawyer. And Sawyer's one of my favorite characters, just like in fiction, period. And they are one of the relationships that I care about the most. But both because it's beautiful and it's lovely. And there's so much richness there about the magic that can unfold in your life when somebody sees you in a way you didn't allow. yourself to see yourself, right? I would never have anticipated getting that from the two of them together inside of the show until suddenly we did. And then you rewatch and you look back and there are moments before that when they're together and they're around each other and there are two people sitting on a beach and you're like starting to feel something before you in the first time around did. And it's just like a wonderful gift. And the second time you watch it through, you're just sort of

like looking for a little like where are the little dust motes of an idea that they turn into this wonderful story. And the beauty, the heart, the raw emotion, but also just the little perfect choices. James, right? James. We might say LaFlor, but James instead of Sawyer, like, Blondie. It's the shorthand that you build with somebody who you love, like the language of your own. And it's just perfect and beautiful. And the idea of like other paths and surprise connections and the spark that you didn't see coming and someone who impacts you in a way that you would have never had a reason to expect

is just a real gift. So they're very special. That clip is from season 5, one of our shared favorite seasons of television ever, one of our shared favorite time travel stories. Love time travel. And that's from the incident part too. So again, sorry for the spoilers.

But, you know, there's plenty of story left after that. There is. And before it. Great show. We'd recommend it. I also have a clip here. Carlos, we play this clip, please. Funny story.

Remember how I made you something, and I thought I lost it. Because it wasn't in my pocket. Turns out, it was in my other pocket. By the time I found it, you were gone. I was just going to leave it for you, but I was worried it would get eaten by that magic squirrel. So I decided to wait for you to come back. Every so often, a different Janet came,

but I knew it wasn't you. Jason, it's been like a thousand baramis. I know. but I wanted to see you again. Incredible pick. I love that one. Bordals! The Good Place. Great one.

This is our guy. Yeah. Jason Mendoza. Many just in tow is Jason Mendoza and the incredible Darcy Cardin is Janet, who's not a girl. But in fact, an AI, essentially, a robot. And this is, there are various love stories. stories inside of The Good Place. An incredible genre show that we never talk about, but is like, you know, was a fantastic

show. This is from the finale which aired in the show. The show ran from 2016 to 2020. This is from the finale, which has moments inside of it that just like make me weep. Yeah. And this isn't necessarily one of them. But the idea that like Jason, because he found the bracelet he made for her so that she wouldn't forget him once he had moved on from the afterlife.

Again, this is a genre story. Yes. Oh, yeah. No question. So he waits for a thousand perimes. However long that is, you decide. Just to wait for her to come back so that he can give it to her. It's just like an extremely beautiful thing.

And this is just like an incredible discovery inside of this show of these two characters. I love Jason and Janet. They're like very, very important to me. So I wanted to include this here. We never talked about a good place. And it's just such a. Such a good genre show. It is. I love it. I should do a rewatch. Yeah, I feel like the the things that make me most inclined to mention the good place typically when we're talking

about other stories in their wake, like the idea of something mattering more to you because the time is finite, you know, obviously really central to that text and the story that explores that wonderfully. And then I always, I love that Michael Eleanor, like, what do we owe to each other conversation at the bar? And the Eleanor and Cheaty, Eleanor and Cheaty talks. talking about sort of like waves on the beach and stuff like that. It's so good. It's really like it's such a funny show. Like rewatching Jason and Janet Clips for this was a true delight.

Oh my God. The show is so endlessly smart and funny and often quite profound. Definitely. And I just, you know, I don't want us to stop talking about the good place. Just a really, really good show. A show that was inspired in many ways by Lost, actually. No, no question. I can't remember the exact.

but I always love before Janet, just chasing into Hany, another surprise pairing inside of the good place. It's like basically when she's saying, you know, he's so good and bad. And it's like, you know, he basically has like no shame or so. No inhibition. Yeah, yeah. And so he is quite good at sex. I always love that scene.

That's great. Wonderful stuff. Number one champion yearner. Yeah. You have a clip for this. I do. Wally Listen

This is not going to participate in a podcast about romance and love and longing and not talk about the greatest love story ever told Wally for 2008, my favorite Pixar movie this is one of

I think I think I have two movies like I said this is one of them sweet Wally, darling Wally, alone. I mean, you know, there's a cockroach, but like alone, trash heaps, sitting,

watching, Hello, Dolly holding his own hand. Tough. Desperate. Desperate. To feel something with someone, and then Eve arrives. The way that they say,

what Mali and Eva? That's something I don't know. I said. He does a great Evah in brush. It's very sweet. Oh my God. I think that Wally, even though it's only a short Pixar movie, is a great pick for champion

yearner because the expressive eyes in Wally's design convey yearning and longing and need so potently, so powerfully that I was bold over watching it and I never get tired of revisiting it to go from holding his own hand to like when he takes when he takes Eva

into his home and is showing all the possessions and she's interested in watching the movie and he's like looking looking at her hand trying to muster the courage to reach for it and then starts to and then pulls back and like pretending is scratching it the floor. This is the best. We should all be so lucky to find someone who will latch

onto the hole of a ship and follow us into space. And I would do that for you. Find yourself a love like that. I would do that for you too. It's just a beautiful, and I love the space dance is obviously an iconic visual sequence. And the clip that I wanted to play, Carlos wouldn't let me pick. So that was the whole way ended up music. For music rights reasons?

Yeah. For musical reasons. I just think the love story between Wally and Eva is so beautiful and so sweet. And also, like, the idea that the love that you find with another robot or a person or anything. Anyone that makes you feel that way. Not a girl. Could be powerful enough to restore and save humanity? Pretty cool.

I love it. Pretty cool. So that's Wally. I have a runner up for this one. You mentioned them elsewhere. Oh. What do you have? You're not going to pick my pick.

So go ahead. This is where I was going to shout out our guy Crawley in his earfell. And that just, I think still to this day, just unbelievably like chilling, soul crushing, we could have been us. We could have been us is one of the best encapsulation. of trying to reach out and finally give yourself something that the other person is not ready for. Like we could have been us as just, oh my God,

a group of the two of us. Season two finale. Very good. Beautiful stuff. What do you have here? Champion uriner. I have a urine that lasted, let's say, seven seasons. it is

Fox Mulder and Dana Scully from the X-Viles. I don't have a clip here, but I will say fantastic. On the timing front, they do technically share their first kiss

November 28th, 1999. Right. That episode's called Millennium. Yes. In advance of Y2K, they barely brush lips. But the interesting thing...

That's okay. You didn't pick it for first kiss. It's fine. The interesting thing about Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. is that even though they are like one of the all-time TV couples, they kiss like twice ever. You can't watch like a super cut of all the passionate Dana and Fox kisses

because that's not what they were not smooching. Right. You get, and this is where Fox molder really shines, a lot of brushing the hair behind the ear. That is a classic in all things April night, 2000, like a real, she falls asleep on the couch next to him, like mid-sentence, he pulls the blanket up, he tucks the hair. behind the ear. It's very important. And then in the final scene of the finale, which aired May 2002,

The Truth, they are in bed together talking about sort of like their future. So this did, like, this did happen. Yes. But in terms of a TV will they, won't they? Nobody has had as much patience and restraint as Chris Carter and the X-Files. Because like, they put David DeCovney and Gillian Anderson, two of the hottest people to ever be on TV, like in bed together on the cover of Rolling Stone. Like, their sexual chemistry was off the chart. Seven seasons. Amazing.

Of just sort of like, you're my one in five billion. Just sort of all these little moments. As you were talking about, these little accumulations of, like, touches and showing up for each other and, like, you know, all of that. And so I just feel like, you know,

you have to, if you're, and there were plenty of people who never wanted Mulder and Scully to get together. They called themselves the no romos. This is just like real. Not about Tony Romo, but yeah. Correct. I do know who that is. Real origin of online fandom culture shipping is Mulder and Scully. And so to not feed the fandom, I mean, there is like an alternate universe kiss that is definitely trying to, like, feed the fandom a little bit.

But like to not feed the fandom to make them wait until season seven, episode five for the first, like, real canonical kiss is like real primo maximum yearning shit. so from X-Files. I love it. That's an all-time. Maybe the all-time, will they, or won't they? What would be second? When did you,

did you watch the X-Files? Was it aired? What was your experience with X-Files? Later, catching up, chipping away in subsequent years. But they were much like, it's actually a little bit similar to what I've said about Buffy where there was just something inescapable about their presence in pop culture,

even when I was younger. Yeah. And thought it would be too scary for me that I was like, well, I understand that this is a thing that matters a lot to people and is very powerful and important. Yeah. Um, Castle and Beckett. Not eligible for today's podcast on the genre front, but they'd be on my list on the will there, won't they?

I support you. I was so excited when that finally paid off. So excited. I waited so long. All right. Pashant first kiss. For some reason, I don't have a clip for this, which is weird, so I'll just have to describe it. But why don't you go first with your clip? Did I justify that clip going for that long and to that point because of the you have to show me? Yes, I did. So this is my second. Best of the Century So Far pick, not only of a Black Mirror thing, but specifically of San Juan Apparel. Say you're watched by it. It's time to talk about San Juanapiro. I, and you know, this was one where I was like, maybe if I had known, I wouldn't have picked this for the musical episode, but I definitely would have. Nothing would have it stopped me from picking the evidence place on Earth needle drop. Nothing. Season 3, episode 4, San Juan DiParo, my favorite black mirror episode, one of my favorite episodes of television ever. That's Yorkie and Kelly. Not just a first kiss for them. after some very efficient and potent buildup inside of the episode the first time they meet and some waiting and what will happen here.

But as we come to understand over the episode, it is meaningful and massive the magnitude of this in Yorkie's life outside of this moment. That want to go to bed with me, initial invitation that Yorkie is not ready for. And then leading into this next encounter, I don't know how to do this. Do what? Just help me. Can you just make this, make this easy for me? And then the show me the idea of the newness. And newness is always exciting when there's something like fresh and that spark is there and that intrigue and that draw, all of which made over time.

But for Yorkie and what San Junipero is able to do in like an hour, the thing that Yorkie could not have outside of San Junipero. In her prior life, I was about to say real life, but this is the real life, right? because this is a life where she gets to be who she is and find somebody to share that with. And so there's the beauty and the magic and the sexiness of discovery, right? And like the journey of identity. And somebody who not only like loves and embraces and worships all aspects of who you are, but helps you do that too. It's like a really hot episode because they're two of the most beautiful people who have ever graced the earth.

but it is just like one of the most I think profound and poignant portraits of a shared embrace and examining the idea of like what is worth having forever truly. So it had to be here even though I already had this exact episode of television. I just couldn't keep it off. Actually also considered picking a Bill and Frank here from Long Long Time from Last of Us, another first kiss that I adore and just is so so meaningful. they also appeared on the music list. So I was going to have a repeat here either way, I think.

What's your pick? All right, in 2003, all through that Super Bowl, you had ads for the show, the episode of television that they were going to be showing after the Super Bowl, which was aired on ABC, an episode of Alias. And infamously, I know. But I know the people were hot. Infamously, in that ad, you see Jennifer Garner in, like barely nothing Lacey lingerie.

And it was just like a real, it used to be a real move after the Super Bowl to show you like a big episode of a TV show to like hook people in or hey, look, we got Julia Roberts to be on friends or whatever the case may be, right? So this is a real, this is season two, episode 13 of Aalias and it's a real come watch alias.

We would like you to like come. Indeed. Watch Aalias. Amazing. Jennifer Garner, have you seen her in Lacey Laudgeona, okay? That's just the beginning of that episode. and it has barely anything to do with it. It's like a mission she's on.

It's just in the beginning and it's barely anything to do with it. What happens inside of this episode is like a major character dies. That's the end reveal of the episode. That's a crazy thing that happens in the episode. They bring down SD6, which is this shadowy organization

at the center of the thing. They bring it like literally into ashes and rubble and like paper flying through the air and stuff like that. But when they bring down SD6, this shadowy organization, Sidney Bristow, played by Jennifer Garner,

who thought she was working for the CIA, but actually she was working for SD6 and evil operations. She finds that out in episode one. I hate when that happens. She goes straight to the real CIA, and she's like, guys, turns out I'm working for a fake evil organization. They give her a handler. It's Michael Vartan.

Yeah, very familiar. Who plays Vaughn? Okay. Yeah. Vaughn and Sydney, CIA Agent and Handler. Yeah. Chemistry galore. Those two incredibly attractive people actually dated in real life.

Could not get together. They had to bring down SD6. The millet. That office is in ashes and rubble. This is the kiss category. Passionate first kiss. They kiss and then fuck. Calm down.

We'll get to the fucking. In the ashes? No, give me the kiss. Give me the kiss scene. Calm down. It's one of the all-time TV kisses. And they have another character come up and try to talk to them and they can't hear them because they're just kissing. And so it's just,

I just love that it was like a post-super Bowl event. And again, when you think about that episode, it's Jennifer Garner and LaGerey, that was the hook. Redacted character dies, that's a big deal. But most importantly, after waiting a mere season and a half, it's no Mulder and Scully. Yeah, but still. They kissed for the first time, and it's just this huge deal,

and it's like an all-timer kiss. Again, those people were actually fucking in real life, and so they got to, like, pour all of that into this on-screen moment. I just think it is a top tier. We've been waiting for this television kiss to cap the Super Bowl in 2003. So that is my pick. Great stuff. Never seen a second on that show, but now I wish I had.

This episode is brought to by Paramount Plus. Beth and Rip are back in a new series, Dutton Ranch. Kelly Riley and Cole has a returned, and this time they're taking on Texas. As Beth and Rip build a future together, peace will have to wait as they face corruption, danger, and a ruthless rival ranch,

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it is not known if Zepbound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pins or reuse needles. Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2. Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop Zepbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems.

Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. If you're nursing, pregnant, plan to be, or taking birth control pills. Taking Zepbound with a sulfonel urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems. Talk to your doctor. Call 1-800-545-99 or visit Zepbound.lily.com. Mallory is impatient to get to the fucking, and so we will go directly to hottest sex. scene just for you.

I don't have a clip for this one because it's from a book. I have multiple passages. This is a... Is this where we get fired? We've actually, we've talked about this one before. Okay. And I've shared certain sentences from this passage before, and you very memorably read passages from this before.

I think I read from this two V-Day quickies ago. You read from this last V-Day Quickie, and then we diagrammed it. So I think this one is familiar turf for us today. This is Zadin and Violet on the throne in Iron Flame, the second book in the Imperian series. This is from 2023. And I am thrilled to report. We like to take people behind the scenes sometimes. What's the prep process?

Sometimes people ask. Opened Iron Flame on my Kindle app. And it was already there. It was on this page. It was just right here. Chapter 48. I guess we don't need the whiteboards for this because no. We used them last time for this exact sex.

This is a earmuffs. Nearly in the entire chapter is this one sex scene, which is Zaden performing oral sex on Violet as she sits on the throne in his kingdom. And there's like a few paragraphs of conversation. at the end, but even after that, there is some really sexy stuff discussed. And so this entire chapter is a sex scene. Tempted to read it all, but we don't have time for that today. But I will read a few choice, particularly memorable passages. This is an all-time. This is genuinely my favorite sex scene of all time. This is what I fantasize about when I'm away from you. He says against my

heated skin. So many descriptions. Your taste, your scent, the little gasps you take right before you come. He settles in, his hands splaying wide on my inner thighs, pinning me in place as he uses his tongue to rob me of every thought. He swirls around that sensitive bud. You can always count on getting sensitive bud somewhere in one of these stories, always. Over and over, teasing, arousing, driving me higher and higher, but denies me the very touch I need. Is this what you think about?

My mouth between your soft thighs? So you're like, how could this possibly be an entire chapter, right? This is just the, we're just getting started. Yeah, we're just getting started. Later. He alternates between quick, teasing flicks and long, lazy licks, building an ever-tightening spiral of pleasure deep within me. Another finger joins the first.

That's incredible. Oh, my God. stretching me with delicious burn, and my hips rock as he thrusts them in a slow, hard rhythm that makes me crave every part of him. Power rises, scalding my already flushed skin, crackling in the very air around us. Without stopping, he releases my thigh and reaches around my hip, then retrieves the conduit. Take it. I want you. My fingers slide from his hair to grasp the orb. my hips chasing every stroke he gives me my breath's coming in uneven pants you have me again find yourself somebody who not only makes you feel this way but then can grab your conduit for

you yeah so that you can channel your lightning directly into it as he brings you to climax this is just wonderful very memorable stuff because in previous uh dalliances they have destroyed the furniture and he's like maybe not my uh ancestral throne perhaps we'll save this particularly It's a powerful power, it turns down. It is. Right there. This is again pages later, I think. This is an all-timer.

I actually don't know how is it. How is the kingdom pronounced? Is it Tirindor? Tarendor? I think it's Tarendor. That's what the audiobook says. Okay. Right there, those gasps.

That's what I hear when I wake already hard for you. This is how people talk in real life, right? In Tendor. This is how Dragon Rider is at best. Gaieth talk with the next caress, pleasure and power crests through me, over me, in simultaneous waves that crash again and again. Now, if you're watching this podcast and you're like, I thought you just described in the prior passage that you said was pages prior, a really intense orgasm that Violet got to enjoy so powerful

that Zadena had to hand her. They're endless. Guess what? They're endless. We're just getting started. Endless waves is, I believe, a description that I didn't include here, but is featured. in this passage, in this chapter. Are you really excited to watch this on Amazon.com?

I can't wait. I can't wait. I follow the casting rumors pretty closely. There's no thunder, no strike, only the hum of energy in my hand that flares with the strokes of Zaden's mouth and fingers. He's committed.

But there's no release either, no gentle letdown, only the waves, oh, here it does, of infinite ecstasy that come without breaking. Infinite ecstasy, I apologize. apologize, not endless. Infinite. He lifts his head, keeping me in a suspended state of indescribable bliss as his eyes lock with mine.

I can't take it, I managed to say, as the waves come and come with no end in sight. Yes, you can. Look at where you are. He grasps my hip and surges upward, propelling me deeper into the chair until my back hits the blackened wood and still he keeps strutely. holding me prisoner with my own pleasure. Brushing his lips over mine. He smiles, look at how beautiful you are, Violet, coming for me on Tyrndor's throne.

Incredible. This is the passage you read last year that we drew. This was the wayboard it because we didn't understand. And we'll get to that. Maybe we have a better understanding of it this time at all. No. He grasps one of my thighs and drapes. and drapes it over the arm of the throne.

Got it. Easy. Okay. Then braces his knee at the edge of the cushion. Okay. He's tall. Yeah. And lifts my other leg over his shoulder.

Yeah. As he slides down my body, lowering his head as he works his fingers ceaselessly, beckoning the endless waves. Oh, God. So we actually also diagrammed another chair sex scene. I'm going to die right here right now. Every time I have to sit with the assembly, I'll be thinking about this, about you. He slides his hand under my ass

and lifts me to his mouth, then replaces his fingers with the thick stab of his tongue. The reason that that passage had to be included for a second year in a row is because it leads to the payoff of they continue. They're very memorable experience here.

And then they stop. He's like, I need a minute. Violet describes that. how painful his erection looks inside of his leathers. And he basically is like, it's important to me that I can worship you without needing anything reciprocated. Then they start talking about cat.

And to soothe any worry that Violet might have about cat, Zaden says. He leans in. I love you. She will never sit in this seat. She will never wear a tearish crown. She's never had me on my knees. in front of her. His mouth curves into a wicked grin that makes me instantly ready for it to be tonight. And I've also never fucked her with my tongue. It's like the literary event of our time.

He's like oral only for you, baby. Just for you. Just unbelievable. Unbelievable. Remarkable stuff. Thank you, Rebecca Yaros. And our apologies to Carlos and anyone at home. I do have passages to read, so I'm not here, yuck your yum. I think that was great. I'm going to keep it simple here in this category. Tell me. I'm going to say season six, episode nine of Buffy, it's called Smash, something to look forward to. I can't talk about it.

Sounds like it's right there in the title, though. Could be. Let's see. I'm going to, I think I know what this is based on something I know awaits in the future from a prior podcast we did, from the enemies to lovers episode. Okay. But you don't have to confirm or deny. Why would I?

My runner up here is Quentin and Alice fucking as foxes and the magicians. Yeah, you love that. A great, a great one. All right, the sex scene that made you a romanticcy fan or the romantic sex scene you're most excited to see adapted. What do you have? I will go first since I have a passage here

and just to sort of share the load as it were. This is from a recent book. This is The Bride, which came out February 2024. Oh, two of my friends are obsessed with us. Allie Hazelwood. Allie Hazelwood, I've read all of her books, I think, at this point, which is no mean feat because Allie Hazelwood puts out, like, minimum four books a year, basically. I don't understand her output.

She is an insane person. Am I remembering correctly that this was, like, sold out, like, couldn't be found the bride? The bride? Maybe. Because I deal in audiobooks mainly, then like I don't know that I experienced that. Did this come out last year? February 2024, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I was with my friends on a weekend getaway and they're obsessed with her work and they were looking for this. And we went to multiple bookstores and it was sold out everywhere. There was a sequel mate that came out. Allie Hazelwood's like most famous sort of first book, The Love Hypothesis, which is like a Raylo fan fiction come to life. Right. has been adapted and has not come out yet, but will be coming out. And so there has been talk of her other stuff being adapted. It has not been confirmed that the bride is going to be a film,

but there have been some sort of like some rumbling, some casting rumors. I'm pretty sure the bride is going to be adapted. If the love hypothesis does like literally any numbers for prime video, they're going to hop on this train. The premise of the bride, get ready, A dangerous alliance between a vampire spelled with a Y, vampire, bride. Interesting. And an alpha werewolf becomes a love deep enough to sink your teeth into.

Okay? Basically, they have to, it's a marriage of convenience. They're trying to, like, prevent warring clans, et cetera, et cetera. But it's said in modern times. It sounds yieldy timely, but it is said in modern times. This particular moment takes place on a plane. An airplane? An airplane.

Okay. And it is a... Not a different plane of existence. It's an airplane. An aeroplane. Okay. But it is a werewolf and a vampire bride. It's a fake marriage.

But they have to consummate it. They don't have to consummate it, but she needs, in order to convince the other werewolves, that they're actually married, she needs to smell like him. Sure. So he has to send her on the plane. And I shall read. I'm excited. I can't wait.

Basically, they've already started this process. She doesn't know exactly what it's going to be. Okay. He's like, I'll make you smell like me. Is he in? What form is he in? Human. Okay.

Just trying to get the mental image. She's a vampire. He's a human. They're both fully clothed. On a plane. Okay. Private plane. Okay.

Right as I'm thinking, this is different from what I thought scenting would be. He moves to the bottom of my throat and sucks. He grunts. I gasp. We both let out staggered breaths as my hand creeps up to press his face deeper into me. He gently pulls at my skin, open mouth, and the stimulation is like electricity, flooding me with warmth. Where's body temperature is much higher than vampires? And his body is a scant inch of air and possibilities away. And the heat of him, my breasts ache, nipples, hard as gems.

And I want to arch into him. I want to con, I want contact and flesh and skin low. That's his name, solid and I feel so soft and his thundering heartbeat is delicious beating heart because she's got no heart. She's dead. She's a vampire. Is a hazy, indescribable wonder pulling me to him. I squirm in his arms, trying to press against him. Rub just a little, but no, because Loeb pulls back. His hand closes on my shoulder, spinning me around until I'm facing away from him.

My breath catches as I clasp a headrest for balance. Okay, he asks, wrapping his fingers around the base of my throat. I say yes as fast as I can. Well before the word is fully out of his mouth and he doesn't waste time either. He lifts away the heavy mass of my hair, clutching my hips in his palm, presses my body against his. And once he has me, how he wants me, he bends down. His teeth close around the back of my neck hard this time. And I am flooded with a filthy, instant kind of pleasure.

The cry that I managed to leash earlier burns out of my throat. There's a pressure inside me. Heady, scalding, and I can't bear for it to grow. Lowe's hand travels down my stomach, settling more tightly, settling me more tightly against him. The curve of my ass finds his groin and he lets out a satisfied, guttural sound that jolts my nerve endings. My blood sings. His ear, my ears roar. I'm melting.

Fuck, he mouths. He runs his tongue over the knob at the top of my spine one last time, as if to soothe the sting of his bite and suddenly I'm cold, shivering. When I turned, he's standing several feet away from me. Eyes pitch black. The roar in my ears is getting louder because it wasn't in my ears at all. A car is driving across the tarmac towards our plane. Lowe sounds like a rake has run through his vocal box.

His fingers twitch at his side, a reflex, like my hand lingering on the damp spot of the base of my throat. I, my hand shifts to massage my nape. I can still feel his touch. That was, I'm sorry, he repeats. My fangs ache, itch, want like never before. I trace them with my tongue to ensure they aren't on fire. And Lowe watches me do it every second of it, lips parting.

He takes a small, involuntary step towards me, then retreats again, appalled at his lack of control. This might be new to me, and I may not be aware, but whatever just happened between us went way beyond. Let me disguise you real quick and straight into something different, something sexual. and if I know it, there is no way he doesn't. My smell, do I smell like mine? It's a rumble in his throat. You smell like you're mine. The end.

Jeez. The scenting scene. Wonderful. From a plane. From the bride by Ali Heislewood. Absolutely wonderful. Yeah, really good stuff. I'm interested in more.

Okay. Much like the characters. I think we can make that happen for you. Oh, my God. Geez, now I understand. I'm going to text my friends after this and say, I understand. This is what I'm saying. Vampire and a werewolf, what happens?

Your fangs itch with longing and wanted desire. Who knew that fangs itched? I didn't know. Can you imagine your teeth itching? That part sounds unpleasant. The rest of it sounded great. Vampires and werewolves, I mean, you know, being human, not on my list today, but a genre show that I adore where, you know, a vampire, warwolf and a ghost decide to cohabitate, wonderful stuff. Is Twilight on your list at all?

Speaking of vampires and werewolves, not on mine, but I guess we should mention it. There you go. We mentioned it. Twilight. Twilight. I don't want to be thinking about vampires and werewolves and twilight because then you have to think about Jacob. I know.

I know. I know. And I don't want it. All right. I don't want it. Thank you for that. You're welcome. So, fittingly, you just introduced me to that.

Yeah. And this next one, I get to kind of answer both parts of the prompt because the sex scene that made you a romanticisty fan. Obviously, that is actually fourth wing for me because Zayden and, and Violet imprinted on me because they were really the first for me. But you read a Reese and Faire passage to me before I had started a court of Thorns and Roses

and certainly before I had gotten to a court of Mist and Fury. And so I think it is... These are the Sarah J. Moss books. Yes, the Sergey Mask books. And so I think this honors the first part of the prompt because you read to me the...

Stroking of the wing. Gentle, stroking of the wing portion of this passage and I have decided to now provide the bookend. Wow, two years later, I love it. Read the rest of this passage, which is one of the more memorable sex scenes in my, you know, still fledgling

a new romanticity experience so far. I cannot wait to see this eventually when this is finally adapted brought to screen. This is just a really incredible stretch. I think this is Chapter 48 as well, actually, much like the Iron Flame thrown scene? Interesting.

Force proximity trope. Reese and Fara have wound up in a very small hotel room on the road. You love when that happens. And there's only one bed. And the need and the desire has built and mounted.

We're moving towards something inevitable. We get the tracing of the way. He's cocooned. They're in the one bed. He's cocooned them in his wings, right? We get this very memorable stretch that you read. and changed my life by reading it to me a mere years ago. And then things developed further.

The through line, I would say, of the hottest sex scene pick, and then this pick, what you read, a lot of this, as we've talked about before, as we talked about both of the last two V-Day Quickie pods. What a time it is to be centering female pleasure. Correct? Just hope a lot of people are learning a lot of things out there, and we're thrilled.

I actually, okay. Honestly, I've actually been hearing this a lot from the younger generation, it's like that young women are giving their gentleman callers like smut to read and say like take notes. Let's try it. Yeah. Some of this is physically impossible because we're not vampires and werewolves or whatever or you can't give me 900 orgasms, but maybe you can give me one and here's some idea of how to do it, you know? Just a thought. Just one. Let's just start with one. Let's start with the basics. Let's just start with one. Well, if anyone out there's like, I'm interested in learning. Where should I begin? We recommend this passage from a...

You don't need to be a fay with wings in order to do this. Exactly. A court of mist and fury. His fingers plunged in and out, slow and hard. You know, to sing a theme? This is great. A lot of plunging. A lot of plunging. My very existence narrowed to the feel of them, to the tightness in me ratcheting up with every deep stroke every echoing thrust of his tongue in my mouth. You have no idea how much I, he cut himself off and groaned again. Farah! The sound of my name on his lips was my undoing.

Release barrel down my spine and I cried out only to have his lips cover mine, as if he could devour the sound. His tongue flicked the roof of my mouth while I shuddered around him clenching tight. He swore again, breathing hard, fingers stroking me through the last throes of it, until I was limp and trembling in his arms. I couldn't breathe hard enough, fast enough, as Reese withdrew his fingers pulling back so I could meet his stare. He said, he said, I wanted to do that when I felt how drenched you were at the court of nightmares.

I wanted to have you right there in the middle of everyone, but mostly I wanted to do this. His eyes held mine as he brought those fingers to his mouth and sucked on them on the taste of me. I was going to eat him alive. I slid a hand up to his chest to pin him down, but he gripped my wrist. When you lick me, he said roughly, I want to be alone far away from everyone. I just want to stay for the record that if Mallory had been in charge of the categories, there would have been like far more sex. A lot of the yearning comes from me. This is a great balance. I had the anguish one that we subbed out. I had that one. I want to be alone far away from everyone. Because when you lick me, Farah, he said, bringing, pressing nipping kisses to my jaw, my neck. I'm going to let myself roar

loud enough to bring down a mountain. I was instantly liquid again and he laughed under his breath. And when I lick you, he said, sliding his arms around me and tucking me in tight to him, I want you splayed out on a table like my own personal feast. No, no, it's just 10 out of 10. No, no. Should we diagramed it? Let's see. Oh. We haven't used the whiteboards yet. Yeah, I was saving for the next one.

Here, let's do a quick one. I would like to see, yeah, a quick one. I would like to see what you have our thinking here. Let's see. Okay. So we have a room. This is the hotel room. Yeah.

Or let's make this the bed? Oh no. If you have to clock already. Let's see. Okay. This is, so we. We're going to go with initially the cocoon of wings. Yes.

Clearly a cocoon of wings. They're inside of this. Uh-huh. And here's a finger gently stroking the wings. Okay? So this is how it starts. And then, you know, most of my, if anyone missed last year's pot,

I mostly drew stick figures. And then Joanna basically revealed herself to be like Michael Angelo. Okay. Here's my next contribution to this one. So Reese, you know, super hot. It's like nice, you know, shadow lord hair, beautiful. Okay. This is his face.

This is his mouth here. And here he's sucking on his own fingers. What do you think? I'm eager for this to continue. Reese? Yeah. Finger. Fingers.

Hair. His eyeball or also his hair. Okay. Will you get, grab me the cap that's behind you? Oh, God. Can you grab the cloth also? Okay. Oh, God.

For our next category, where the white boards will be staying active. I'm so sorry to destroy that beautiful thing you just made it. I would like to play you. part of a clip. Okay. Welcome for the first time ever to a list of my making, Zach Snyder.

Oh my goodness. This is from 2009's Watchman. Yes. And I would like Carlos to play whatever he's clipped from what I sent him. Great. A lot of heavy panting for people

who are, do you want to describe for people at home? who are not watching what they just listen to? I would recommend turning it on so that you can see the wonderfully specific blue Manhattan-y-light. It's just like a real. So this is Billy Cretta is Dr. Manhattan. Yeah.

And Malin Ackerman as Lori Jupiter, aka. Specter number two. That's right. In bed together. This is like their breakup scene actually because he's like in multiple four. Like, he has double-tripled himself to engage in sexual Congress with her. So, you know, at first she's like, your finger's like licking a battery, right? His finger's in her mouth and she's just like, wow, the electricity.

Right. And then she suddenly realizes that there are more than two hands on her. And she gets a little freaked out because she's like, this is not what I, he's like, hey, I thought you liked it when we did this. She's like, this is what I signed up for. I wanted, like, actual sex with you. And then she finds out, even worse, looks across the apartment to see that another version of him is elsewhere working. And he's like, I'm very busy.

And she's like, oh, my God. Yeah. Anyway, before they were so rudely interrupted by her actual desires for connection, would you care to demonstrate for me what you envision Dr. Medh hadn't had in mind for this moment with Lori? Boy, let's see. Okay. So we're going to put Lori. Lori's on the bed.

Yeah, boy. Let's see. This might be even for my stick figures. This might be. All right, so we've got the bed. I think you should worry less about these framing things that you feel like you need. Okay, there's Lori. So expect to herself.

Yep. Yep. And the other circle is the juncture of her thighs? No. Wait. Hold on. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, God. It's all. We've lost the scale here. Okay. All right. Okay. So we've got, we should have gotten, we should have requested how do we know

of blue because we've got, you know, we've got. Electricity everywhere. What was Dr. Manhattan planning to do with the many sets of hands that he had available? What we got? I don't have specificity in the shapes here. Well, so I got this was supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah.

Clearly. Yeah. I mean, quite small compared to what we saw in the television. In the television series, we would be so much talking about memorable. So what you're drawn here is either a Christmas tree, upside-down Christmas tree, or... You got all sorts of sensory experiences, various touchpoints. Electricity, hands everywhere. This is, you know, the molten core.

Yeah, the molten core. Right here. Some touching here, hopefully here as well. You know, okay. Here, here. Maybe some stroking of this. What do you think? Does that capture it?

This is Monica on front. charting the erogenous zones. Exactly. You're like seven. I think I got it. I think you crushed it. Absolutely nailed it. Beautiful stuff from you as for usual.

I'm glad that the Snyder Watchman is here because when we lost the musical category, I thought there goes our one chance to honor Halloween. I thought about it. Same. Honestly, when I was looking at clips, because I almost did the spaceship fucking scene. Yeah, but like when I was looking at clips, I was like, oh, this might have been what Mallory had in mind for needle drop during a sex scene, hallelujah. Yeah, it would have been.

Would you have something that you would like me to chart? So I have a clip for mine and then we can do some drawing together. I think this is going to be a hot take. I'm just going to throw it out there. I think this is a controversial and hot take that I am coming after this moment here. Well, not coming before and after. Maybe some of the other ones. But I've got some notes on what I think is considered a classic.

So let's talk about it. Do I get to say thank you this time? Wait. Okay. What's our objection here? Let's talk about this. One of the most iconic things that has ever happened in cinema. This is a safe space today on this podcast.

What was that? That is, of course, Spider-Man, the first Toby McGuire, Ersson's done Spider-Man film from 2002 Sam Ramey's movie. And that is an incredibly famous moment in the history of superhero cinema and cinema. That is one of the most famous kisses of the century, no question. There's a lot of very prominent nipple action before and after that particular clip, also memorable. It's the image for the movie when you load up the film on Disney Plus right now. One of the things that I remember from 2003, the MTV Movie Awards that year is that this one, of course, Best Kiss.

It's on all sorts of lists. It's on like an EW list of like the most. I don't remember the exact phrasing, like whether it was the best pop culture ideas or something like that, of that entire decade. Okay. I think zero parts of this are appealing. And I have a lot of questions about your ability to actually maintain arousal while that much rain and that many facial protrusions are touching certain parts of you. Okay. I don't think, let's just start with the rain. You notice if you watch the clip. And if you didn't, I would encourage you to watch it now. before when we've got like the backdrop of oh who are you it's sexy mysterious identities i think

i know will you let me find out okay great yeah sure of course how is mj even going to try to find out when she can't see shit because she's blinking raindrops out of her eyeballs that entire time this is like okay right away you lost me it's a visual issue it's not the vibe by one oh whoa whoa whoa we're just that's part of it okay then peter is upside down yeah mj is right side up. This is what makes this famous. Okay, she pulls down the mask to reveal his chin and his mouth and she takes it to wear right against his nose. So can he breathe? I just think this is basically waterboarding. He's got a claw over his nostrils upside down and the rain is pouring into his nose. How is that sexy and pleasant and fun? She can't see his chin is pushing

against her nose so she can't breathe. There's even more like whose tongue and teeth are where challenges than people kissing for the first time would typically confront a lot of counterintuitive angles. And then you have the water dripping into your nostril and worse against the cloth that is blanketing your nostril. When I was, this is a real I can feel my age thing. Because when I was younger, I used to think like, we just talked about this on the Wild Things pot. I used to think like any water-based or water-adjacent sex thing, fun. Wild things. Pool hookup?

Amazing. Spider-Man, a kiss in the rain. High. Exactly. You know what? Now I'm like, I'm 39. If I tried to fuck in the shower, I would fall and break my hip. It's just that.

But there's sri youngsters. I guess. How is the raindrop not just going into his nose? Okay, you actually have like a genuine. That's a sick ability. That's insane. So there's like this and the other one. You just did that in like 30 seconds.

They're not very good. They're quite good. The water. Your artistry, while beautiful, is missing a crucial element here. Water up the nose. Up the nose. Okay. I just wanted you to know that I did have the nipple there before you mentioned it.

The nipple is very important. We're saw and through glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Okay, so water up the nose is the problem. Mixed with water in her eyes. His chin in her nose. Oh, yeah.

Sorry. The mask material and the water into the nostrils. Yeah, he's Peter Parker. He's Spider-Man. But, like, it's not for me. Okay. This was the time to say. So fuck you to one of the most iconic kisses in all of cinema.

Exactly. Happy Valentine's Day. Okay, I have one more passage to read to you in this section. I'm thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. Will I be diagramming it? Perhaps. This is from the book Before They Are Hanged.

It's the second novel in the First Law trilogy by Joe Abercrombie. It came out in 2007. It's one of the greatest sex scenes of all time. You have my attention. Shit, he hissed. She slapped his hands away and undid the buttons herself, pulled her shirt off, and dropped it beside her. He couldn't see much in the moonlight,

only the gleaming of her eyes, the dark outline of her bony shoulders and her bony waist, splashes a faint light between her ribs and the curve underneath one tit. A bit of rough skin around a nipple, maybe. He felt her pull his belt open, felt her cool fingers sliding into his trousers earth, Felt her, ah, shit, you don't have to lift me up by it.

All right. Better? He dragged her belt and fumbled it open, dug his hand down inside, hardly subtle, maybe, but then he'd never been known for subtlety. His fingertip made it more or less into her hair before he got his wrist stuck tight. It wouldn't go any further for all his straining. Shit, he muttered. He'd pharaoh suck her teeth, felt her shift and grab her trousers with her free hand, dragging them down over her arse. That was better. He slid his hand up her bare thigh.

Good thing he still had one middle finger. His nine fingers. Good thing he still had one middle finger. They have their uses. They stayed like that for a while, the pair of them kneeling in the dirt, nothing much moving apart from their two hands working back and forward, up and down, in and out, starting slow and gentle and getting quicker. Silent except for Pharaoh's breath hissing through her teeth. Teeth. Not teeth. Teeth. Logan's rasping in his throat. quiet suck and squelch of damp skin moving. She pushed herself up against him, wriggling out of her trousers, shoving him back up against the wall.

He cleared his throat, suddenly hoarse. She got up on one foot and one knee, squatting over him with her legs wide open, spat on one cupped hand, took hold of his cock with it. She muttered something, shifting her weight, easing herself down onto him, grunting softly. He reached out, pulled her closer, one hand squeezing in the back of her thigh, feeling the bunch and shift as she moved. The other tangled tight in her greasy hair, dragging her head down against his face. His trousers were screwed up tight around his ankles. He tried to kick them off and only got them tangled worse than ever. But he was damned if he was going to ask her to stop just for

that. She whispered at him, mouth open, lips sliding warm and soft against his cheek, breath hot and sour in his mouth, her skin rubbing against his and sticking to it, peeling away again. he grunted back at her and she rocked her hips up against him back and forward, back and forward, back and forth one of her hands was clamped around his jaw her thumb and his mouth the other was between her legs sliding up and down

he could feel her wet fingers curling under his fruits more than a bit painful, more than a bit pleasant um uh uh uh what Oh my God. You're joking. Well, I was just getting started.

I did say it had been a long time. Oh, boy. Must have been years. She slid off his wilting cock. Wiped herself with one hand and smeared it angrily on the wall, dropping down on her side with her back to him, grabbed his coat and dragged it over her. So that was an embarrassment.

And no mistake. Logan cursed silently to himself. All that time waiting. This is the best line. And he hadn't been able to keep the milk in the bucket. He scratched his face sadly, picked at his scabby chin, say one thing for Logan Nine Fingers. Say he's a lover. He looks sideways at Farrow, her fate outline in the darkness, spiky hair, long neck stretched

out, sharp shoulder, long arm pressed down against her side. Even with the coat over her, he could see the rise of her hip. He could guess her shape underneath. He looked at her skin knowing what it felt like. smooth and sleek and cool. He could hear her breathing soft, slow, warm breathing. Hold on. There was something stirring down below again.

Soar, but definitely stiffening. The one advantage of having a long time without, the bucket fills up again quick. Logan licked his lips. It would be a shame to let the chance pass just for the lack of nerve. He slid down beside her, shuffled up close, and cleared his throat.

What? Her voice was sharp. but not quite sharp enough to warn him off. Joe Abercrombie, not centering woman's pleasure in this particular instance. Would you like to... I have a few thoughts and a few questions. Okay, okay. So can you please reread the portion about his hand getting caught in the hair?

I wasn't... Which part of her body? Is that her head or... No, no, no. That is down below, but I believe his hand gets stuck in her waistband, essentially. Do you know what I mean? Okay. Okay.

So let's see. So here's what I'd like to draw. His fingers hardly subtle maybe then he'd never known. He's never known for subtlety. His fingertips made it more or less into hair before he's got his wrist stuck tight. It wouldn't go any further for all his straining. Shit, he blathered.

So we're going to do two different drawings here. Okay. And this is about how each of the participants in this memorable sequence have used their hands. Okay, great. So, let's see, he's got a hand. This is his hand. Yeah.

Wait, the light is. Okay. He's got a paw. Are we back on the werewolf chapter? Maybe, I don't know. Okay, and this is like a waistband here. Okay. And then this is going to take me.

more artistry. I'm going to say here this is, uh, let's see. Okay, I'm going to do, so this is a, okay, so this is the wide view. Uh-huh. And here's a, here's an inset of close up. This is a wall, okay? So they're going to take the hand. Uh-huh. And we're wiping.

We're wiping. Yeah. We're wiping. The milk from the bucket on the wall. The spilled milk. And here's the last detail. Not a great form of, you know, pregnancy prevention, I should say. This is for the industry heads.

Yaz would never. Yaz would never. She's going to go get that back. Yeah. That's an industry spoiler. Don't waste it. What do you think? Did I capture something?

Yeah. That's one for the Louvre, I think. Really good stuff. Okay, great. That has been, thank you, Joe Abercrombie. Thank you, the first law trilogy. We did it, Joe. Thank you, Logan, nine fingers.

Wow, was this really on your mind during Alice with three fingers? I don't know, the milk's spilling out of the bucket. Honestly, one of my very favorite things that's ever happened in all of literature. Will we be returning to the whiteboards? I'm done. Yeah. We only have two. We're taking a hard.

Everything is coming here. We're taking a hard, hard pivot. Wow. Away from things to get us fired. If we haven't been fired yet, I think we're in the clear. I think we're doing great. I think we're doing great. Most gorgeous description of love.

I wonder, spilling the milk out of the bucket, not on my list. Do you think we have the same thing? No. I, no, I think you know what I have. I do think I know what you have. Because I've mentioned it before. I have, this. was the hardest to pick between two things. But I ended up going with the tiebreakers that the thing

I have as my runner-up is those characters are my pick for the next category. So, I think we had the same last one. Oh, interesting. I thought you might have what I have as my runner-up. We'll see. Great. Most gorgeous description of love, blue and red from This Is How You Lose. The Time War. I just nothing has ever talked this other than a runner-up from Will and Lyra, who will be my pick for the final category. Correct. Chapter 17. If you haven't read this yet, what are you doing? Joe's been telling you to read it for years.

I've been telling you to read it for years. Zach Cram has been telling us to read it for years. 2019. I couldn't believe it was that long ago, actually. Chapter 17. Red, I love you. Red, I will send you letters from every when telling you so. Letters of only one word.

Letters that will brush your cheek and grip your hair. Letters that will bite you, letters that will mark you. I'll write you by bullet ant and spider wasp. I'll write you by shark's tooth and scallop shell. I'll write you by virus and the salt of a ninth wave flooding your lungs. I'll stop here. I'll stop. This is probably not how this is done. I want flowers from cephalus and diamonds from Neptune.

And I want to scorch the thousand earths between us to see what blooms from the ash. So we can discover it hand in hand, content in context, intelligible only to each other. I want to meet you in every place I have loved. I don't know how it's done between such as us, Red, but I can't wait to find out together. Love, blue. P.S. I write to you in Stings, Red, but this is me, the truth of me, as I do so. Broken open by the act in the palm of your hand. Dying.

So this idea of love in the form of desire to share. Desire to share the things that have brought you joy that have been meaningful to you, that intelligible only to each other part, but I want to meet you in every place I have loved is like to me an encapsulation of what it means to realize that you want to share your life with somebody like and in any form right romantically friendship i just think it is such a beautiful and perfect way to describe that particular aspect of desire like not the parts of desire that are fleeting but the parts that are lasting and rooted in wanting to put a smile on somebody else's face wanting to make sure that they understand what matters to you and why and learn the same about

them. I just think it's like perfect. That inspires me to read. I am going to go back and read a section from a Dramidey fan fiction. Do it. There's just this one part that I really love from DeTarque, which is the Dermite fan fiction I brought up a million times. But it's a very innocent thing. But it's like post-sex, but they are, Draco and Hermione are sharing parts of their time apart, spent a part together. And she says, in her head, nothing else compared to this. Nothing even came close. not the validation of similar wavelengths nor the comfort of old friendships, nothing. She felt jubilant, so whole, listening to his mordant, almost whiny description of what, in all

honesty, sounded like a perfectly decent budget hotel. His horror at having to endure a 15-minute bus ride, his account of the magical sanctuary, and the sardonic commentary about the meetings between diplomats. He gave her all she wanted. his eyes, his laughter, his attention, that little half smile that told her he was interested, as she let him know what she had been up to. Like, all she wanted, his eyes, his laughter, his attention. Like, I just think that that is like very beautiful.

But that's not what I'm here to read for you today. I'm here to read from a few books. I've cheated. Patrick Rathas. Oh, yeah. The wise man's fair. Bloomberg will be thrilled, his favorite. It had flaws, but what does that matter when it comes to matters of the heart?

We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it in many ways. Unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing because. That's as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite to know the flaws and love them too, that is rare and pure and perfect. Oh.

Madeline Miller, Song of Achilles, a classic. I believe I've read this to you before. I could recognize him by touch alone. By smell, I would know him blind by the way his breaths come. And his feet struck the earth.

I would know him in death at the end of the world. Last but not least, I'm going to just play the greatest hits of Alex Harrow, an author we love. From the 10,000 doors of January. It's a profoundly strange feeling to stumble across someone whose desires are shaped so closely to your own, like reaching toward your reflection in a mirror and finding warm flesh under your

fingertips. If you should ever be lucky enough to find that magical, fearful symmetry, I hope you're brave enough to grab at it with both hands and not let go. She's the best. And then we're just going to rapid fire everlasting when she came out last year and is just like an absolute all-timer, timey-wimey love story, incredible shit. I follow her on Instagram, of course. So maybe this is part of why the impact on my alga was so quick, but maybe it's also just because we had talked about it a lot on the pod and our phones listened to us. But I was get right away fan art. And it's just kept coming on Instagram. It was wonderful to see.

Do you have a favorite part of Everlasting? I haven't read it yet. Oh, my God. Okay. I haven't ready yet. I don't think any of these are spoilers. And I haven't gotten to the last book of dust book either yet, which is like despondent. But I am reading the Will of the Many finally as I texted you.

Oh, that's true. All right. Here's one quote. Was that not how you loved someone by hammering your body into whatever shape they liked best and handing yourself to them like a hilt? Very good shit. Wonderful. Is it as Briani as we thought it was going to be? More so.

Most of all they learned one another. Most of all they learned one another as few people ever have or will in the churn and tumult of their lives where summer did not always follow spring, where even their own names were tricksome and shift. they were to one another what fixed stars are to sailors the only way through the dark. Last one at least. Let us lie here forever. Let us be buried as wild things are by tooth and claw and worm. Let the grasses grow up through the sockets of our eyes. Let them find us in seven years or 70. And let their brows furrow because they cannot tell my bones from yours. Alex Harrow. She's absolute killer. Everlasting one.

one of the best books I read last year. I can't wait. Captivating. I can't really, really good stuff. All right, last one at least. Even though we are going to get to Will and Lyra on our last pick, it sounds like we should read as a runner-up for the prior category for Amber Spyglass, not the chapter we're about to read, I assume, in our last pick, but we'll live in birds and flowers. Yeah. We got to read it here.

I will love you forever, whatever happens till I die and after I die. And when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms till I find you again. I'll be looking for you, Will, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we'll cling together so tight that nothing and no one will ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you. We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds. And in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams. Or bits of Mallory's sweater.

Or that, yeah. There's so much of that. And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one. They'll have to take two. one of you and one of me will be joined so tight. Very good. All right. I actually do, I do have a different point in parting.

Pretty sure that you're going to do Will and Lyra. Do you have Jamie and Brian? I do not have Damien and Brian. They're my runner up. So no, Jamie and Brian for making it outside of a runner up. I was trying to diversify my picks. Perfect. What do you have?

We have to speed through. We're running late. I will just, I'll just play my clip and let it speak for itself. Please, Carlos. We have said goodbye with its stance to recent. Great one. Wanda Vision. That's a great one.

What a great show. Wanda MaxMuff. I'm glad they're here. Vision. That's a great one. Jamie and Brianna runner up. I did not have Wanda Vision. I'm glad they're here.

That's fantastic. I have Will and Lyra and their bench in the Botanic Garden from Amber Spyglass, the third book of his dark materials. This is the one you saw me absolutely panicking about this morning because it is, it came out in 2000 and I was like, shit, was this 99. Is this not going to be eligible? Chapter 38. It's this way, said Lyra, tugging at Will's hand.

I probably won't be able to read this without crying, actually. I don't think I will be capable of that. Let me see. She led him past a pool with a fountain under a widespread tree and then struck off to the left between beds of plants toward a huge, many-trunked pine. There was a massive stone wall with a doorway in it and in the farther part of the garden,

the trees were younger and the planting less formal. Lyra led him almost to the end of the garden over a little bridge to a wooden seat under a wooden seat under a spreading low branch tree. Yes, she said. I hope so much, and here it is just the same. Will, I used to come here in my Oxford and sit on this exact same bench

whenever I wanted to be alone, just me and Pan. Almost wore my pan shirt today. What I thought was that if you, maybe just once a year, if we could come here at the same time just for an hour or something, then we could pretend we were close again because we would be close

if you sat here and I sat just here in my world. Yes, he said. As long as I live, I'll come back wherever I am in the world. I'll come back here. On midsummer day, she said, at midday, as long as I live, as long as I live. He found himself unable to see, but he let the hot tears flow and just held her close. And if later on, she was whispering shakily, if we meet someone that we like and if we marry them, then we must be good to them and not make comparisons all the time and wish we were married to each other instead. But just keep up this coming here once a year just for an hour just to be together. They held each other tightly. Minutes past a waterbird on the river beside them stirred and called. The occasional car moved over a Magdalene Bridge. Finally they drew apart. Well said Lyra softly. Everything about her in that moment was soft,

and that was one of his favorite memories later on. Her tense grace made tender by the dimness, her eyes and hands and especially her lips infinitely soft. He kissed her again and again, and each kiss was nearer to the last one of all. heavy and soft with love, they walked back to the gate. Mary and Serafina were waiting. Lyra, Will said, and she said, will.

He cut a window into Chittagaze. They were deep in the parkland around the gatehouse, not far from the edge of the forest. He stepped through for the last time and looked down over the silent city, the tiled roofs, gleaming in the moonlight, the tower above them, the lighted ship waiting out on the still sea.

He turned to Serafina and said as steadily as he could. Thank you, Serafina Pecala, for rescuing us at the Belvedere and for everything else. Please be kind to Lyra for as long as she lives. I love her more than anyone has ever been loved. In answer, the witch queen kissed him on both cheeks. Lyra had been whispering to Mary, and then they too embraced. And first Mary and then Will stepped through the last window back into their own world

in the shade of the trees of the botanic garden. Being cheerful starts now, Will thought as hard as he could, but it was like trying to hold a fighting wolf still in his arms when it wanted to claw at his face and tear out his throat. Nevertheless, he did it, and he thought no one could see the effort it cost him. And he knew that Lyra was doing the same and that the tightness and strain and her smile were the signs of it. Nevertheless, she smiled. One last kiss rushed and clumsy so that they banged cheekbones,

and a tear from her eye was transferred to his face. Their two demons kissed farewell, and Pantelaman flowed over the threshold and up into Lyra's arms, and then Will began to close the window. and then it was done the way it was closed Lyra was gone. Now, he said, trying to sound matter of fact, but having to turn away from Mary all the same, I've got to break the knife. He searched the air in the familiar way

until he found a gap and tried to bring to mind just what had happened before. He had been about to cut away out of the cave, and Mrs. Coulter had suddenly and unaccountably reminded him of his mother, and the knife had broken because he thought it had at last met something it couldn't cut, and that was his love for her. So he tried it now.

summoning an image of his mother's face as he'd last seen her, fearful and distracted, and Mrs. Cooper's little hallway, but it didn't work. The knife cut easily through the air and opened it to a world where they were having a rainstorm, heavy drops hurtled through, startling them both. He closed it again quickly and stood puzzled for a moment. His demon knew what he should do and said simply, Lyra, of course. He nodded. And with the knife in his right hand, he pressed with his left,

the spot where her tears to lay on his cheek. And this time with a wrenching crack, the knife shattered. And the blade fell in pieces to the ground to glitter on the stones that were still wet with the rain of another universe. Oh my God. Philip Holman, holy shit. Oh my God. Nothing can top that passage. I just have the clip so that we can see this interesting choice at the HBO adaptation made with Daphne Keene is Lyra and Amir Wilson as Will to show us at the end of this, them returning through the years, which is just a lovely little visual, if we can see that as well. I'll be there every year. My whole life, I promise.

I just like, this is just the best. We love the bench. We talk about the bench often, the garden, Oxford, the idea of, like, losing this thing that is the most important to you in the world, but what if someone were just there? It's very like veil of shadows, stranger things, very hairy, serious, just beyond the veil. Like the idea of someone just on the other side of the veil, I think is like a really powerful way to find comfort when someone is gone. I almost picked the Doctor Who episode with 10 and Rose on the other side of two worlds. I almost did a Doctor Who won as well.

No, yeah, that would have counted it. Okay. Peter and Olivia from Fringe didn't make my list and I feel sad about that. And I just wanted to shout them out. I love them. Who else do you want to shout out? Arthur and Linus from Surulian Sea. Big time pairing.

Who helped us today that we want to think before we come? Hal Brand and Galadriel. No. Carlos, for, really, I mean, even by the usual standard. Just an all-timer from Carlos.

Having to stare at us as we read those passages and cut all those clips, you're the best, Carlos. John Jones, Arjuna Ramga Powell, Jomea Denneron, Sarah helped today,

Jamie helps today, Donald helped today. Everybody helped today. We're like all using the studios at the same time. It's been madness. So thank you to the whole squad for chipping in to make this.

Thanks possible. Thanks to the ringer and Spotify, if we still have a job. And if we do, we will see you on Sunday for Talk the Thrones. If you want us to read your Romantici audiobooks, let us know, you know? I'm going in that direction.

Let's lean in. Happy Valentine's Day from the third Valentine's Day cookie from us. We'll be back or will we next year with number four. Bye. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava Theater stage

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