House of R - The 'Star Wars' Droid Draft

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

Mal and Joanna are joined by Van Lathan to draft the greatest droids in all of 'Star Wars' lore (30:38). Join them as they celebrate the best robotic companions a galaxy far, far away has to offer, and see who will be crowned champion. Hosts: Mallory Rubin and Joanna Robinson Guest: Van Lathan Senior Producer: Steve Ahlman Additional Production: Arjuna Ramgopal Social: Jomi Adeniran Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I am Juliet Litman and I am one of the co-host of Ringer Dish. Ringer Dish is the podcast for all things, celebrity and entertainment. We've got you covered three days a week. So if your friends are sick of talking to you about, I don't know, celebrity real estate or the latest with the royal family or whatever Jennifer Lopez is up to, well, then you definitely should subscribe or follow Ring or Dish wherever you get your podcast. On Mondays, you'll hear from me and Amanda Dobbins on jam session. On Wednesdays, you'll hear from Erica Ramirez talking about pop culture through the lens of friendship. and friendships we see on the screen. And on Fridays, you'll get all of the tea on tea time with Liz Kelly, Kate Hallowell,

and Amelia Weddemeier. The playoffs are here. And you can predict the action all the way to the finals with Fandul Predicts. Predict the spread, total points, and even the game winner. Sign up and get a $25 bonus. Offered by Fandual Prediction Markets LLC, a registered futures commission merchant, 18 plus. Bonus is non-withdrawable and expire seven days after receipt.

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It keep companies of all sizes connected with internet, advanced Wi-Fi, phone, TV, mobile services, plus 24-7 U.S.-based support. millions of business owners already trust Spectrum business. So visit Spectrum.com slash business to learn more. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. But where were you? It's not important.

If it's not important, but why not tell me? Tell him what. Posing for data lag. Tell me what she said. Meets. Marva said you were out, ruining your health and reputation, friends of low character.

She told him sooner or later you were going to get yourself into trouble you couldn't talk your way out of. Then she told grass oh, that. And welcome to House of Our a Ringerverse podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network. I'm Mallory Rubin and it is my absolute

pleasure to invite you not only back to a galaxy far, far away, but also to the new House of Our podcast feed. Joining me today. to remind you that these are the droids we're looking for. It's my house of our permanent title. Go host, Joanna Robinson.

Our special guest, our ringerverse family member, Midnight boy, Poo, Poo-Pew, Van Lathan. Pop. You're our first official. That was me saying, I am so excited to be here. That was enjoyed. Wow. I didn't know you were fluent in droid.

That's amazing. I can speak it. I know it. I know when they're talking about us. Van is our first official, like, full episode house guest, right? I mean, it's an honor, a joy. It's like a sacred, a privilege. High holy day here in the House of R to have Van with us for a pot.

Yeah. See, this is the thing. I enjoy coming here, especially for a droid draft. I'll tell you why. The three people on this thing are lovers of cute. We love cute. Pluck, not for me. Cute, different than pluck.

Plug down, cute up. Okay? So, droids to me, cute, love them. I'll be very curious if you identify a droid that's like a little too plucky for your taste. You don't tell me right now, but we'll see. There's a couple. There's a couple. Okay.

I think it'll happen. I think it'll happen at some point. We're here today, in case you can't tell, for a Star Wars droid draft, we are so excited. We cannot wait to build our teams. But before we get to it, before we explain the rules, before we explain the eligibility, before we explain the approach, before we talk about our droid feelings, before we identify. identify any bad motivators. Programming reminders.

Some quick ones, as always. Over on the ringer verse, the midnight boys, peep, pew, p, p, p, p. We'll have what is sure to be an epic instant reaction to the fifth episode of Assoak up. The pod is coming Wednesday. This is one of the most hyped and anticipated installments of television in recent ringer verse history.

The pod is going to be an absolute banger. Junior Mints, get ready because the Mint Edition crew will be with you on Friday after the Harley Quinn finale. Also on Friday, here on the House of Our, we will be back with our deep dive into the fifth episode of Asoka. How deep will we dive? Who can say? No promises.

Who can say? We're not even going to attempt to get us. Clear. schedules. Follow the new feed. We'll be back, not only on Friday, but next Tuesday. We're going to do an Asoka mailbag. So keep the questions coming.

Joanna, where can the people follow all of that? Where can the people submit their questions for the mailbag? What a great question you have asked me. You brought to me today, Mallory. Let me answer you in a couple ways. Number one, what if everyone just subscribed to House of R and Ring orverse? And then they would get all the shows and not have to worry about it. All the shows are just come to their favorite podcatcher.

That would be great. I like it. I like it. If you're a commitment fob and you don't want to exactly do that yet, then maybe why don't you just do like a light follow on all of our social accounts on Twitter, on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and then Jomey can like hold your hand and guide you through, like, how has the episodes drop, et cetera. Last but not least.

And I'm just going to reiterate this. You're doing an Asoka mailbag next week. I'm going to be later this week, I'm going to be in the car for. for two days. I'm not the driver. I'm just the passenger. I'm going to need some reading material. So send me long, lengthy, multiple emails,

hobbits and dragons at gmail.com about ASSoka questions. And what we're looking at for, you can send us anything you want, but like bigger picture questions. Big picture ASOCA questions. Because we're going to be recording it right before our new ASOCA episodes drop. We don't want anything with a hard expiration date on it. Right? So big picture, ASOCA, and Star Wars.

questions, I would say. You can ask those two. Hobbits and Dragons at gmail.com. Fantastic. Last programming reminder. Yeah. It's a friendly neighborhood spoiler warning. Anything that's ever happened in Star Wars is on the table today. To a droid. We're going to be talking about a lot of droids. Yeah. And droids are inextricable from the entirety of Star Wars canon. And so anything that has ever happened to a droid, anything that a droid is responsible for, anything that a droid is responsible for, that is droid adjacent, anything that is a few degrees removed from being droid adjacent, is on the table today. If it's happened to Star Wars, it might come up. You've been warned.

Okay. We're going to hit a few big picture. Droid talking points. But let's explain first how the draft is going to work today, what the draft is. It's a three-person draft. It's a mini-draft. So three of us, okay? And it's going to be a snake draft. Steve will be revealing in dramatic fashion and short order, the draft order. We do not yet know the draft order. I feel certain we'll have some notes. We'll find out together.

We'll find out together. I have faith in Steve. We've never not had notes. I have full faith in Steve who I think almost exclusively always puts me first. Not me. I know there are going to be shenanigans and I just can't wait to explain. expose them. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Whenever Steve starts the pre-recording Zoom by saying, don't worry, I'll share my screen so you could transparently see my approach. I know something's up. No. I know. Yeah. I know.

This is about election integrity. You guys just need to put in the friendship time that I do with Steve. And then you two can go first in a draft. So here's the thing about this draft. Really, there are no bad spots in this draft. Of course. Three drafters. five categories, 15 total picks.

Here are the categories. We decided that we're not going to do droid types. We're not going to have categories that are like Astromac, Protocol Droid, etc. We're going with themed categories. Here they are. Companion, Comic Relief, Strategist, War Machine, and Wild Card. Now, pretty much all of those open to interpret. some of the categories are deeper than others,

but many of the droids that we will be drafting could find a home in many of those categories. So the strategy, as always, will be up to each drafter to deploy. Any questions on the categories before we talk about eligibility? Can you explain for the listeners at home, what you mean by the word companion?

Well, when we were texting about it, We made a lot of references to L3 and Lando copulating. If you want to go that route and pick a droid that other characters in Star Wars or you yourself would like to fuck, that is certainly your prerogative. And that's what we mean when we say both that House of Arc contains adult content and that it is up to each drafter to land on the strategy of their choosing. But companion can mean any number of things. It can mean your friend. It can mean your teammate. It can mean a family member.

It is completely open to interpretation. Joanne, I'm assuming that you're going to be picking a droid that you think has a really vibrant and robust sex life in these hours. I'm curious why you're putting this on these. It's like you're the one who A, came up with these categories, and B, I knew what you meant when he wrote companion into the known. But is that what I mean? You've been watching a lot of Dr. Who, so I think you know what we mean. Maybe that's what I mean by strategist, you know? Like somebody with a game plan.

By the way, I thought that it wasn't going down in Star Wars until I've seen a couple of things lately that let me know that there are definitely people in the galaxy far, far away that are fucking their droids. And I would say this, why not? Why not? We're going to have a conversation about droids and droids make decisions for themselves. There we go. It seems to me that's a natural. evolution of the droid human or droid alien relationship. Yeah.

Yeah. I've seen enough Battlestar Galactica to know that at some point in the evolution of man, we're all going to fuck a robot. And that's just how it is. That's just how it is. Yeah. Joe's not into it, but Van and I are on the same page. No, no, no, I'm the problem with you.

I support it. Absolutely. I was just wondering, this is for either of you, but maybe a little bit more for Van. Do you remember the film Existence with Dula and I think Jennifer Jason Lee? No, I did not see that. Anyway, if you've seen it, it's a Cronenberg. So let me assure you that there are like goopy ports involved in that movie. I've been thinking about it literally since 1999.

I've been thinking about that movie and the things I saw in that movie. So anyway, yeah, I believe in a goop. Goopy ports. Goopy ports. Goopy ports. Did not earn a bad baby from Steve. Boy, he's really, he's expecting something today if he's, uh, if he's showing the willpower there. Big one.

Woodgium. Wow. There we go. There we go. Always ready on the board. Okay. Eligibility inside of those five categories. We must select a specific droid, an actual character.

not a type of droid. So, for example, we must pick, in the category of our choosing, C3PO, not all protocol droids. Now, there is an exception to this rule, which we'll get to in a second. But what that means, of course, is that multiple categories, multiple specific droids from a given droid type, protocol, astromech, et cetera, can be selected. It's not like only one person gets to take an astromec today. What is the exception?

if there's no established specific character inside of a droid type. Or there is, but it's more of a minor figure. And in addition to that, the collective is meant to function in essence as a character. So say, B2 Battle droids or mouse droids. Like a pit droids sort of thing. Yes. Yes. You can play a group of droids, a type of droids.

in that particular case. If somebody plays a droid type instead of a specific character, the other drafters have the right to challenge the pick. I think we will mostly be on the same page about this, but it could potentially be challenged. So keep that in mind, play at your own risk.

And you can, this is the final eligibility variable, you can select a droid from Legends canon, if you so choose. That's more a question of strategy Gene if you think that will play in the polling. If she'll just got so excited. He lit up. His inner youthful nerd just activated inside of it.

Actually, it was beautiful to witness. Adult professional body. It's pretty great. I've been going back. I probably won't end up doing that because I don't think people know the characters as well. But I've been going back reading all the old legend stuff, getting it to legends and legending it up. It's fun. And Jesus Christ, man.

Come on, baby. Canonize. Just do it. You're just canonize, baby. Just do it. Eventually, Filoni will bring it all back.

He's working on it. You could structure a draft in the team here that's just ahead of the curve. How will the winner be determined? As always, for a ring of verse draft, our followers on the aforementioned social media fees will be voting.

You'll see a poll on Twitter. You'll see a poll on Instagram. You'll have a chance to chime in. And that person will be crowned. Victorious. Okay. Democracy. I just want to get out in front and say democracy is a flawed system, and I think we all know that.

And that's all I need to say, unless I win. But if I don't. I just want to get out and say that I believe in democracy. This is good. Good. Just division right at the top and the fundamental principle. of how to run a republic. Your new empire.

You can't agree on democracy. We definitely have the same view on Flucky. Okay. Before Steve reveals the order and we actually begin drafting, let's first mention why we're doing this today, which is that Star Wars is on an epic run of introducing instantly iconic new droids

into our lives, or reintroducing a droid who had a limb in a role and then becomes more central. Like, it's Hu Yang season right now. This was a big part of the inspirations, but such a dominant force in Asoka. We're having so much fun. Of course, our guy B during the Andor run, IG, across the Mando seasons. It's like nary a minute in Star Wars lately without a droid who is winning over our hearts.

And this will- That torture droid and Obi-Wan. You were so excited to see it back. One thing I know about you is that you love interrogation and torment. You love it. I love it. I love when like scary needles and various appendants and like whirring sounds and stuff like that come out and approach a child. That's my favorite.

That's why I loved the Obi-Wan show. Okay. So we've got goop-ports and whirring appendage from Joe so far. And we're like about 15 minutes in. Strong start today. It's going to be a great episode. Strong start today. What do droids mean to you?

What do droids and Star Wars mean to you? Van, let's start with you. Why do you love a Star Wars droid? Well, at first, it was just that they were the comic relief. At first, it was just that they were kind of the cool, off-kilter thing that takes you into another galaxy, right? Because you need little things, little story indicators that let you know you're not where you're at, right? So people are flying around, people fly around on Earth. Like people are shooting. They're late. but they're guns on earth. When you see little robots that can do stuff and have their own little personalities that people are talking to the robots,

you know, okay, we're not here. That plus aliens. Then you watch the movies, and there's one part where you're like, I wonder what that old scampy R2 is going to do. And you realize that they've stopped being sidekicks and they've become integral parts of the story. Yeah.

That they're starting to ground scenes. Like when 3PO gets blasted to shit an empire, you're like, oh, my God. How could that happen towards him? You know? And then when you get to Phantom and you see R2D2, you realize, you know, these guys could live for a very long time. A lot of things have happened. They've seen a lot. They've been through a lot.

And the droids become a part of the Star Wars family, you know? And to me, like, they're in a way. this is going to sound stupid. Sometimes the connective tissue, they move the story forward. They humanize our characters a little bit. They pull them back from the brink. And so it's a real huge, huge part of the lore for me.

Beautiful. Joanna, what do droids mean to you in Star Wars? I think it's important to, with like, 3PO especially, I think it's important to think about how much Star Wars changed the way that we think about the humanity of droids, you know, because, like, Artu has humanity that you can sort of, like, lay on top of him. You're doing a lot of work yourself. You're interpreting beeps and boops and whirs and all the sort of stuff and, like, what the little, like, back and forth stamping means. And that's fun.

That is a really fun storytelling tactic to just have a character that is, you know, like Chewbacca as well, that you, that you are filling in the information gap and it makes you sort of, like, part of the storytelling. But then when you have something like 3PO, who is so humanoid, so, so fussy, so funny, I think it really, like, by leaps and bounds, push forward our idea of, like, what a robot character could, or a droid character could be in film and television. And we grew up with that, you know, we're all, you know, young enough to have, like, don't remember a time when R2 and 3P. didn't exist, you know? And so, yeah, and I mean, there are droids that, like, have my entire heart and soul. And, like, the blood in my veins, like, flows only for them. Like, I just, they're an incredible storytelling device in addition to being, like, you know, hilarious at times and threatening at times.

But the way in which, yeah, you can just sort of like imprint on one is pretty incredible storytelling. What about you, Mallory Rubin? Yeah, I feel the same way. I absolutely love a Star Wars droid. Genuinely, one of my favorite things in pop culture. And, you know, we're all sci-fi fans. We're all fantasy fans. It's fun to think about the coaching tree of Android and droid and robot evolution across

stories and how the Star Wars droids are like, inextricable from that lineage, but also an archetype in their own right, and like we owe, and this whole era of pop culture after owes a debt to what we've seen across Star Wars, just as Star Wars owed a debt to Isaac Asimov and other storytellers who came before. So, like, there's this, this ever-evolving tapestry of Star Wars droids in the universe. And, like, I think that's one of the things that's so fun about it. And truly part of why we wanted to do this today, because we have like the icons, we have the OGs,

we have the characters who, like, you're saying, have been with us throughout our childhoods and our lives and are just like part of the experience of consuming Star Wars as much as like seeing the sands of Tatooine, right? And then any time we go to sit down and watch a new Star Wars show or crack open a comic or a novel or play a video game or if we ever have the pleasure of seeing a Star Wars movie again, like they make them too, we just, we know.

it's truly one of the only things you can count on is that there will be a droid who is charismatic and cute and compelling and deft and is a truly fully formed character. And, you know, we're all pet lovers, right? So there's that element of loving a droid too where I think it's impossible not to, especially because of the nature often of the beep-boop

communication where you feel like, you know, Dan, if you're, if Bozeman is barking at you, you're like, I am having a conversation with Bozeman and I understand what he's saying. He understands what I'm saying. And Joe, same with you and bug and same with me and Halo, right? And so we can port the and project our feelings about our pets onto the droids in a way that makes the relationships I think seem even more like personal for us. And because we are such animal enthusiasts, I think that like heightens it. It's not just these droids are pets. It's they're your family members. They're the characters who you would do anything for and you know would do anything for you.

and there's this depth of love and devotion that is genuinely meaningful in addition to the ability to gather the data, plug into a port, and infiltrate an empire ship, and actually achieve the mission. And so that's why these categories felt like a fun way in because they hopefully capture

the totality of the droid experience and all of the different things they can give us as fans, as viewers and readers, to enrich our Star Wars experience. They're the best. They're the best. Love them. A lot of times, like, my dog seems like more of a human to me than really other humans because, like, I, I am concerned with, like, a lot of things, right?

I'm concerned with podcasting and bills and all of this stuff and all that. He is concerned with us. Like, if we hug each other, he comes over. I want to get him. I want to get on the hug. You're laying down. He just, he cares about you. And a lot of times, the droids are like that.

like our heroes have all kinds of things they have to cut there are politics they're trying to deal with the force there there it's all of this other stuff that's happening and the droids are just like okay what do you need me to do like I'm here I'm your droid yeah like what do you like what do you need for me how can I help you like you know I don't want to give away some of my draft picks but there's one droid in particular that's so raw and and And so emotional. You don't have to say it, we know. You know what I mean?

And I'm like, oh my God, man. You know what I mean? That's what I was thinking of when I was like, it has my entire heart and soul and all the blood of my body belongs to that droid. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I agree. But then I guess that goes to this question of like, are droids people? Yeah.

Because we consider our pets, like. Human beings. More human than most of the humans we know. man was saying. Yeah. Yeah. But then, like, what about, like, the fact that you can put a restraining bolt on a droid? Like, is that like...

It's terrible. It's awful. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's deplorable. Steve, Steve, Steve got to me. What we do on the Midnight Boys is we oftentimes, we try to marginalize Steve as much as we can.

Yeah. But... I've noticed. You do? Yeah. We try to depower Steve as much as we can. It's all a little revenge. But...

But... But Steve's droids are people and half souls. He wins. It seemed crazy at first, but like he wins. I think I'm against restraining bolt. I'm against, I think that droids that are held piloting spacecrafts deserve a bubble. I'm for droid protection.

I don't want to see them exposed out there in space. They might get shot. I want a protective bubble. I'm a droid lover, droid first. I'm with you. Yeah, I definitely think the droids are people. They're conscious, they're sentient, they feel, they emote, they develop connections, they seek companionship. And so I think, again, it's a good example of how this connects to this larger sci-fi area of interest.

Like, what does it mean to be human? What is humanity inherently? And we can have those, like, philosophical, existential, conversations, but there's also this thing that becomes almost reflexive shorthand and like gut read for you as a Star Wars fan where Joe, to your restraining bolt point, if like I see a character who treats their droid that way, it impacts how I feel about. So when you, when you, when you see Dynjaran kick a droid, like, it's tough. It's tough look.

My guy is backsliding. But then when I see a character like IG break through to him, I feel that there's hope for in. So, like, that's the scale. That's the scale. Here's what I think. I think when Star Wars, and they do the same thing with clone troopers, that there are clone troopers where they will, like, allow that clone trooper to take off their helmet and tell you their name and all of a sudden that clone trooper becomes a person. But then there's other clone troopers that, like, just get absolutely decimated and torched in battle, and you're not really supposed to be thinking about them as people. This is the great contradiction at the time.

at the heart of a series we all love, Star Wars, the Clone Wars, which is, here's the pursuit. Let's individualize the clones and show you that their people and show you their names, the names that they chose and the haircuts and the tattoos that they picked and the relationships they forge. And if you start to think of them that way, the whole idea of clones versus the legions of B1 battle droids and the faceless nameless masses, it's like you can't really maintain that dissonance in your head then. You're right. So when you have, you mentioned this category earlier, like, I feel like when you have like pit droids or battle droids. various kinds of battle droids or whatever, oftentimes they're not given that individual personality. And so I think it is harder to argue that those droids are people

because they're not given like a personality or a name or a, you know. Well, and I think relatedly, those, this isn't maybe a complete 100% truism, but like often the characters we would think of that way aren't given the opportunity to develop those things to present them to us because they're not given the opportunity to be with people, to forge relationships. Like, they are completely oriented around the task. And so it'll be interesting to see how all of us,

like, factor that in, you know, maybe in a category like War Machine? Are we just looking for, like, a mindless killer who will heed our every command? Do we want a character with a conscious and a compass and a sense of right and wrong? Maybe we need a mindless, Maybe we need a mindless killer to protect the rest of our droid family.

Could be. I'll say this. The autonomy from the droid a lot of times also comes from what the droid is asked to do. Right? If you have a droid that has to have all of these different skills and those skills have to have this variety, then you've got to deal with a little lip, right? You got to deal with a little lip. A little aptitude.

You know, you're not sure the SaaS. Invite the same. ass, yeah. Yeah, our battle joys, Roger, go out there and shoot and shoot. You're there to get cut up by some lightsabers.

Go out there and shoot. You know what I mean? But it's quantity for them. But our other joids, man, you got to be able to talk to the computer at the base. You got to be able to languages, you got to be able to do

all of this different stuff. And in that, you got to have to deal with a little lip from the joy. So I think we all agree then that some droids are people. Some, yeah. I mean, I think we all agree that some human beings are people and others

are subhuman trash. So I think that's pretty well understood. Deplorables. Anything about... Ben said deplorables. Right. Anything about... Nobody wants to tip picks, but anything about draft strategy or approach that anybody

does want to say in a big picture sense before we dive in, or no? I already kind of said it, and I'll say it again more emphatically. I'm building a family. That's what I'm building. Yeah. I'm just building a group to kick it with, man. Yeah. I mean, I understand that two of these categories strategists and war machine imply that we

will be under fire at all times, but I consider them like protective members of my family, you know? Right. They don't call it Starpiece, you know? You gotta be ready. They sure don't. Palpatine might somehow return any minute now. So you gotta like...

Somehow. Stay ready. That's son of a bitch. Somehow. Joe's family of droids might be called into action against sheave at any moment. Did you know about one and three people with plaques psoriasis may also develop psoriatic arthritis, which causes joint pain, stiffness, and swelling? Does this sound like you?

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Crack open a can of Nass energy and get after it. Okay. Should we set the draft order? Let's do it. Okay. Steve, fair and balanced, Allman.

Van being our guest, I would like Van to decide a number between one and three. Two. Two. Joanna. One. Mallory will be three.

All right. now we go my favorite number let the record state i also would have to pick two two is like empirically the best number pick out of those three numbers we go to we get go to our number generator here between one and three stop two okay wait did you click that he did like you decided as it was on the number two to click that doesn't seem reasonable it was twirling in it was twirling in a random order and then i can't set a timer no it's not a it's not a It's a time-based role. They're all good fix in this draft.

I love Mallory. I love Mallory so much. I have committed to a pleasant collegial draft today because I, here's a thing, truly, not only do I love all of you. I love all of these droids. So I can't imagine having a bad thing to say. This would be a unique draft experience. I've already seen the face you only make on a draft episode, which is like this. The draft selection.

I know her. It's the squid. She's so. It's the squid. It's the steely squint. If she ran for, like, if she ran for president, I will vote for it. Yeah. Like, I swear to God, like, the face that she just made when she saw that and she was squishing it, I'm like, I love her.

Like, she's, she's a goal. We all have things to work on and this is mine. It's just, here we are. Here we are. So Van has the first pick. Because we'll be first. Does Van has the first pick or does Van get to decide which pick he wants? He can, he can.

can choose a few wishes to go first. I'm going first. Okay, great. I will roll again to see who we'll be going second then. Two again, rolling again. It's almost like the draft randomizer doesn't work. You just got two three times a row. It's three.

Fucking. Three will be going second and number one will be going first. Last. Or last, excuse me, last. Joanna will be going last. Dran will be going last. After all the friendships. of hours I put in, Steve.

You're saying it like it's work. You couldn't, oh, yeah, that's true. No, French, French of joy. You know. You're second, Mallory. Your second, it's okay. We all know who Van's going to pick. Yeah, it's just, it's a draft where the number one pick is.

Yeah, okay, but the only thing. This is like taking Otani. The only thing is, what do you, what do you pick a mean? Which category, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. We're about to find out, I guess. This is going to be fascinating.

Okay, so Van is first. I'm second. Joe is third on the swing. Okay. Let me, are we ready to go? Are we ready? I'm so nervous because I'm not worried about your number one pick. I was pretty sure I was not going to get that one.

But like, I'm worried about Mallory's. I almost, I'm almost like, okay, so Van had the choice of whether he wanted to go first. Uh-huh. Do I, as the person who got the second pick, get to choose? if I want to go second or third. No. You're second. Interesting.

Okay. That's fine. It seems weird, but sure. Okay, Van, you're up. The first pick in the draft has got to be R2D2. So I'm choosing R2D2. And I am going to take R2 in companion. Okay.

There's a draft pick that I wanted in companion. Not going to get him. He is my soulmate. But I'm taking R2D2 and companion. Very non-controversial, the greatest droid in Star Wars history. Maybe the greatest robot in lore history ever, the greatest non-human character ever. I can't think of one that's better. What?

The guy from I robot. You're going to take him. R2 has been with Anakin, been with Lerobot. Luke, he has saved the galaxy a couple of different times. R2D2 is one of the most accomplished joy in the history of Star Wars galaxy. I'm taking them first and companion.

Is this where I, like, get off my anti-R2 agenda? Okay. Yeah. Try to tank the number one overall pick here. Go for it. Well, here's my question. Man, how do you feel about the fact that like R2 knows so much and does not tell people all the things

he knows throughout the franchise? He does not have his memory wiped and yet is withholding so much information every time we see him. He does get his memory wiped after Sith, right? No. He doesn't. No. I could have swore.

Unlike 3PO who is constantly obliterated, R2 is blessed with knowledge. He has no excuse for the fact that he does not share all the intel that he has. Okay. So I'm going to give, I'm going to give my perspective on this. So if he doesn't have all of, if he has all of that knowledge, then he's aware that Canobi is on Tattooey watching over Skywalker, right? He's aware of everything that's going on. I look at Artu as being a compassionate, good boy, pat on the head,

for not going to Luke when he's like six or seven years old and going, I'm not going to lie. I know why you're such a good pilot, bro. I know why you're so good at shooting a wamp rat with a laser. I could tell you why right now. See, the doctor, Vader, that's your dad, bro. Like, you got the force. He allows Kenobi to bring Luke along.

I'm assuming Obi-Wan had a plan, right? Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. And Artau is playing his position. because if it was me, I can't hold a secret like that. Not me. Like,

you know, Luke is around. So when R2 shows up on Tatouine, he's there with Leah's hologram, he's got his mission, he tells R5, blow the motivator, I have a task.

You don't think you should immediately go up to Luke and say at that point. I'm, listen, they put you, Luke Skywalker in the Skywalker home. I know your dad.

Let's have a chat. So let me tell you what. sister. So let me tell you, let me tell you. Also here's sisters at me. Don't kiss her. Don't like that. That would have been helpful. She kissed him. These guys come on. Let's be honest with you. sisters' whole situation here. I know where I'm at, but she kissed him. It's her fault. Okay. Look, I'll say this. This could also be cultural. Okay. And let me tell you why. I'm serious. You're at a family reunion. Yeah. And as a kid at the family reunion.

and you see an old woman looking at the kid and she go, hmm. And you're like, what's that, hmm, Bob? He's like, all right, never mind. After the family union, you go up and talk to your mother. You go, Mom, I say, ain't Margaret looking at Johnny, and your mom goes, oh, son, ain't Margaret, doesn't think that Johnny is your uncle's son. What?

Like, we counted the months back when he got pregnant for that girl. You know, that girl that went back to Minnesota, left them down here. We counted the months back. The math don't add up. I don't think that boy says, and guess what? Nobody tells. Nobody tells because it's not our place to tell.

Hey, let it play out the way it's going to play out. This is what happens. All right? Artu's black. Artu is like, it's not my job to tell you that that's not your daddy. And I'm not, it's not my job, okay? When it's time for your uncle and people to come tell you what's going on, they'll tell you.

And then you'll deal with the trauma. which is what happened. So I think I've seen it before. You guys come from great families where everyone knows who everybody is and all of that stuff. Star Wars, the Star Wars family is really,

it's really a family like my own. Okay. All right. All right. You've put us on the back foot on that one and we can't argue against it's cultural. As soon as you said it's cultural. But let's take it out of the realm

of the person and the family and into a film that you and I and Mallory all know as the Force Awakens. Art2 has the map the whole time and is just snoozing in the corner.

Why? He's got PTSD. You know what? All of us talk about mental health and no one cares about the mental health of R2D2. I would just like to say I never like to prop up

another drafter's case but I am aligned firmly with Van. I think R2 is an unimpeachable pick in the top. I have no notes on the pick. And I think that Artu deserve to rest comfortably under his little tarp and think about his feelings. He was sad.

50 years, he's been through two Skywalker's. This is absolutely ruthless showing from Joe at the top. I love it. I have to say, I love it. Think about what Artu's been through. Artu had to watch Anakin turned, like he's done with Skywalker's. He probably at this point, he probably not fucking with no Skywalker's like that. He's probably over.

We've all lost people. Listen. There is a battle. There's a battle. Basically, every tragedy in the history of the galaxy. And Joe is like, let's see some fucking... Bashesem is on the line. The rise of first order.

And he's just like, oh, hey, BBA, and I've had this map this whole time. Funny to meet you. Bazaar behavior from Art 2. Number one peak. Would you have taken R2 with the first pick, Joanna Robinson? No, because you know my anti-R2 agenda. Okay.

Well, you don't have the first pick. So it's a position you can make. I know you were. I know you would have it. And I know that you don't agree with me in my argument. I'm being true to myself. I'm not, this is not strategy. I'm being true to myself.

Here's the best strategy. The one that's true to yourself. That's true. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm up. I think there are a number of wonderful droids still on the board.

A lot of great picks. The draft is loaded at the top. The draft is also deep. And yet I believe that. there's only one correct pick at number two. And while I would have taken, and I will concede that I would have taken R2 if I had the first pick,

R2 is not my personal favorite droid. And I now have the pleasure in the two-hole. And you know, in the Sabermetrics era, it's the two-hole that really matters most. That's where you want your best hitter. I'm always saying that. I think you know that about me. Joe, you're always saying that.

When Gunnar comes up to bad, you're like you want your best hitter. Man, I've gotten Joanna to adopt the Orioles this year. It's amazing. I got her out to a baseball game. We went to a baseball game. My desktop background photo is of Gunner right now. It's beautiful.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Crazier stunts than this. We've pulled crazier stunts than winning despite having the two pick instead of the one pick. I will proudly select now. My favorite droid. B.B.8.

Yeah. Rolling right into my heart. Rolling right into my little droid family. the cutest, the sweetest, the most adorable and emotive astromac droid in Star Wars. I think that BB8 could find a wonderful, successful, productive, comfortable home in a number of categories. But I will also be going with companion here at the top because I think that that speaks to the essence of BB8 and why BB8 is such a memorable indelible character who won our hearts so quickly. The bond with Poe, the devotion to Poe, the quick rapport with Ray, the work on behalf of the

resistance, we have not only a droid who is defined by being just absolutely precious and darling, the design, that rolling structure, the lighter comes off, the arm extensions, inventive, no functional fixedness for BB8 ever. the beep and boop communication just particularly cute, I think, even in the droid communication canon realm. But that devotion and

nimbleness out in the field, that combo is, I think, extraordinary. When BB8 thought that Poe was dead, the head dip and retreat

was, I thought, one of the most anguish introducing things I had ever witnessed on the screen. Sincerely, it captured grief and loss in a way that I thought was astonishing. And then you swing that to the jubilation as he is whirring and rolling into Poe's arms for a reunion hug. I will also note something that I think in addition to the like relationship with Ray and Poe, etc. is a real credit to BB8 and not something that some of the other drafts, the other droids who will be selected today can claim,

BBA8 gets along with other droids. So, you know, we're talking about building a family. We're talking about building a team. We're talking about building a squad. Who's rolling over to see if R2 is okay under that tarp? Not Joanna Robinson, we now know, but BBA8 is. BBA definitely is. When D.O, sweet little bubble with his cone head.

and his little wheel has been mistreated and abandoned and abused by his prior Sith lord, overlord master who is there to allow D.O to stick to his side and build trust again. And then just how capable BBA it is in the field, like when he's got that map to Luke, the pursuit of his mission, no matter the cost, no matter the threat, no matter the peril on the sands. of Jacou? I mean, it is inspiring. It is aspirational. It is something to behold. He basically single-handedly is responsible for Finn and Rose making it out of Cantabite alive. The prison break, the ship theft, commandeers like the Scout Walker to save them aboard the supremacy. There's nothing that BB8 can't do in terms of the actual work in the field. The quick thinking, the depth of emotion

and devotion, and again, just the Q destroyed in the history of Star Wars. I feel thrilled to have BBA8 in my family. I'd like to hear you try to cut BB8 down if you dare. So I'll say something. Go ahead. BB8 is very friendly.

I would say too friendly. Oh, okay. And let me tell you what I mean. In what way. As a companion, it makes me feel minimized if you're everybody's companion. Sure.

He watched Pearl. He watched He watched. I can't wait to tell you about the person in my life you're reminding me of right now. He watched Poe. He was down for a second.

The next thing you know, he's getting his wire straightened in the middle of the desert. You want him to plop down in the sand and give up forever? Like, no, what I want him to do is take some sort of actual, look, you look at an R2D2, there's someone who his guy's going

and he shuts down. That's a companion. That's someone who's really in it. BBA8, he's one of those dogs. Kept going after that he became Darth Vader. He's one of those dogs that the last person that petted him is his best friend.

That's not the type of dog. I like, that's not the type of dog that Bozeman is. actually he kind of is. But it's like, like, he's very friendly. But what I'm saying is

a real companion has a bond with that person. And that's why I ding BBA8, if I have to, this made me feel so dirty. But I don't believe what you're saying and I know it. I don't want to,

I also love BV8 and don't necessarily want to dang him for anything. But I will say, there are some circumstances where his like little wire swinging trick would not, he would not have something to hold on to. And in that case, all that will defeat him is stairs. And that's, that's a problem. No. I, I, no. He went down the

stairs at Mons. Down? Down is one thing. Let's talk about back at the stairs. BBA8 is able to adapt to the circumstances. Is it a way that I find again extraordinary? You put any sort of terrain in front of BBA eight, you're going to figure out a way to navigate. It's canon that BB eight knows how to navigate stairs. It's canon. Downstairs, but I don't know about upstairs. I had a friend in college who shall remain nameless who won't be listening to this pod because he texted me. This is true. A couple weeks ago, I've known this person since the sophomore year of college, one of my nearest friends in the world. And he said, I just listened to you on a podcast for the first time and now I'm going to watch the bat mitzvah movie. And I was like, that was the first time

you had listened to any of the podcasts I had done, the Bod Mitzvah movie one. Anyway, in college, we were bonding, we were hitting it off, we became really good pals. And at one point, he observed that I, he heard me, because I'd say, call him buddy and pal, and that I would call other people buddy and pal. And he thought it diminished what it meant when I said that to him.

He's right. He's right. And I said, I just do not agree. And I think that we are building a beautiful friend group together. And guess what? We're all still in touch to this day, though he is rarely invited to the zoos. Okay. So Mallory picks a great droid that easily defeated by stairs.

I know for sure one of your picks. I'm curious to see what you do on the turn now. Yes, definitely. Come on. We all know. You mentioned droids that deserve a break and a rest. Oh, my God. And you mentions droids.

droids like deal with speech impediments. I bring you just the platonic ideal of droiddom in our pal, B2 email. I should, I almost draft him. I'm not be honest with you. I almost took him at two

so that Joe couldn't take him, but I decided to go with the thing that makes me happy, not a thing that makes Joanna sad. I would have taken BBA if you had taken B2. We care so... Oh, B2 is going in... This is going to sound like bad strategy, but it's not.

It's my wild card. Okay. And because too sad for comic relief, and I'm saving companion for fuckability. So, wildcard is for B2. I knew it. I knew it. Bad, baby.

I knew it. Listen, this family needs a co-parent. All right, so our beloved, our collective beloved B2, this droid that absolutely pulled our hearts out of our bodies when we met him in Andor,

Marva, the absolute desolation. I'm going to cry. I'm going to get emotional. This droid, the way that we We got mad enough when, like, one person put a cup on top of a B2, but then later, when someone frankly outrageous. Knocks B2 over? We were like, give me a brick.

I'm ready to riot. If I wasn't ready already for sociopolitical reasons, I am ready now because you put a single fucking finger on that droid. How fucking dare you? B2, even, like, I love BBA, and I grew up with R2, so I understand the importance of R2. But somehow, I mean, it's in the name, emo. Like, somehow, more than all of the other droids we've seen before or since, this is the droid that emotionally just ensnared us with just, like, a few short scenes.

We've only had, like, a few minutes of screen time with him total versus, you know, like, the decades we've had with Artu. And I would kill anyone for this droid when we, Mallory and I took a tour of, Lucasfilm when we went to the Asoka's training and when we rounded the corner and we saw the B2 emo like statue that they had there, I started crying.

Yeah. I love this drug. This is my like, honestly, my emotionally favorite droid, absolutely. There's a part, there's a part where Cassian is saying that like, we have to leave. And then B2

emo goes, let's go right now. I'm like, oh my God. Please leave with the joy. Cassie, it's like, he just, it, it's like, it's like, come on now. Let's go. Let's, yes, now we can leave. It's like, I don't know what they were doing with the joy, but I'm, I don't know what I was going through.

They put something in the water. I don't know what I was going through when Andrew was on. But I'm like, shit, man. Yeah. And I, I'm just, I have a lot of fear. That's all I'm going to say. But like, but yeah. Oh, no.

But we were all so sad that like B2 wasn't going to make it out of the first season alive. And like B2 is on his like last little legs and constantly needing a recharge. And what we talk about, what Mal and I talk about all the time when we talk about like battles and wars and, you know, stories about those is like you always need that thing worth protecting, that thing worth defending. And it's just sort of like circle the droid wagons around B2 and protect B2 with everything you have. And that is sort of the approach here. So that is my wild card pick for. It's a great one. It's a great one.

It's a great one. B2 is just an incredibly special droid. I can't knock anything about B2, a character we all just love and genuinely adore it. I won't pretend to. My only question is, do you think you had to take B2 here? Do you think there's no way B2 false? So it's either here or on your next pick, right?

There's no way B2 gets passed. Oh, I'm dead. No, you guys would have snapped up B2. I'm drafting B2 the next pick I did. Absolutely. if he's not taking. Without a doubt. 100%.

Yeah. I mean, there's other things that I'm worried about, but that was one I knew would not make it back around to me. Did you guys make lists? Like, did you make an ordered list? Nah, not me.

I know, I did with the Denzel movie draft for the big picture, but that was just because I felt like I had to show up in that draft. You know what I'm saying? But for this one, I'm really drafting all vibes. I made a list of droids

that I really love, but I'm really drafting all vibes. have them in categories and I have like backups in each category, but I don't have like, I have to draft. I was curious where B2 landed on your overall like one to. I will say X. No, I don't know. I actually don't.

This seems like a trap that I would like to not share more strategy. A little gamesmanship. They're about to say, yeah, checking in somewhere like, you know. No, B2. Not three overall. No, B2 is One or two on my list Okay, number two,

my second pick that I'm most afraid will not be here When it comes back around to me I'm putting under Hmm Oh, maybe This is an interesting one. It is.

You could go a number of directions In the second round. I mean, I know which one it is. I just am I going to put him here Or I'm going to put him somewhere else? I'll put him here. It's not Don Cheadle as War Machine. It is

Chichich Chopper. Gotta be. Chopper. Absolute favorite psychopath. Droid. Chopper, who we first met in Rebels, though live action people have gotten to know him a little bit

over the last few episodes of Asoka, voiced by Dave Filoni, much more legible. You can much more understand what he's saying in Asoka than you could in Rebels, and that's kind of like a fun development. you can basically translate his when he's talking to Hera. Did you steal my tracking bolt or whatever?

Do you go through my shit, Hara? The thing I love about Chopper, to go back to Vance point about the loyalty of a droid, the thing I love about Chopper, in this fantasy scenario, Chopper has imprinted on me the way that he is imprinted on Hera in Rebels, right? This is like my chop, which means he will... push anything out of the airlock for me. Yeah. And I love it about it.

You might actually take it too far. Yeah. That's the problem. You said your strategy was to draft a family. Chopper's not allowing any of your other droids to stay on the ship. He's just not. No, he definitely is because only 85 if you bring anyone else in. He's trying to kill Ezra, dog.

Yeah. But we're not talking about Ezra. We're talking about B2 is basically my Jason Sundula. Like, that is my son. That is my child. and Chopper will defend Jason Sundula and Chopper will defend B2 emo because he knows that B2 is mine.

The second Chopper gets a chance. B2 emo is dead. B2 remove a crucial point. B2 is in B2's apparatus. B2 Emo is dead. You're absolutely incorrect. I think you all know. He's compromising the charging base. You're all your mind.

I think you all know that B2 is so emotionally profound that even Chopper cannot resist. We need to be like, Chopper. We love Chopper. This is misguided and wrong. Chopper don't give a fuck about money. Then you're saying the new thing Chopper doesn't belong on anyone's draft.

I think, no. I think you hinged a lot of your initial approach on the idea of building a family. And Chopper doesn't like other droids. That's why when he bonds with AP5, it's so astonishing. I hear what you're saying, but what you're lying right now into your microphone and trying to pretend like you wouldn't. draft Chopper next. Like you wouldn't,

didn't both go, yeah, of course, it has to be Chopper. Yeah, okay. I will, I love Chopper.

I would have happily drafted Chopper at any point today, but my opening note for the pod was not, I'm building a family. But he would still kill your other droids to your point. It doesn't matter if you consider them like a family. But the question is, are my other droids capable of fighting him off?

Which B2, which B2 emo is not. Chopper killed droids and cold blood. Laugh about it. I love chopper. Kill you push the joy out of the... B2 is my... Deroids are people.

B2 is my son. Just like Jason is Harris' son and Chopper would babysit B2 for me. Gotcha. Okay. I'm right. Love chopper. Kill 50,000 people.

Yeah. The second chopper's an airline. The cargo hold door, anything he can open to get rid of the people that he doesn't want around. Yeah. But he does want my family around

because he's part of my family. It's bold. It's bold. I mean, you have two great droids. Two truly great ones. Will they get along? It's fucking chop. Who can say?

It's fucking chop. I love chopper. I love him dearly. Okay. A couple different things I'm considering here, but I think I know what I want to do. I actually feel pretty excited about the droid I get to take here. And also I feel excited about the category that I get to use, which I think is perhaps maybe deceptively and counterintuitively like you would think it would be loaded, but I think

it's kind of one of the shallower categories. So I'm getting a, I think clearly the top pick in this category. I feel good about this. I will be selecting K2SO in comic relief. Oh. I actually think comic relief is pretty deep, but K2 is a great. Clear top, clear top pick, I think, in in comic relief. Our pal.

The scene stealing MVP. of Rogue One, the trusted, not sidekick, but partner of Cassian Andor. This is a big draft for Cassian so far. Cassian's two droids going on the first two rounds. I love this. Reprogrammed. This is another thing that I take seriously

and wanted represented in the family I'm building. The idea of a second chance, the idea of a second lease on life. And because shopper's not here, I'm free to build a family without concern about infighting and mass murder. Here's the thing that you need in life on a mission in a family. Folks, you need a little levity. You need someone to come in with that droll approach, the sarcasm, the snark. I don't mind a little judgment.

I don't mind K2 coming in and saying, did you know that wasn't me? I want my unit to be kept on its toes, to say frosty. I want them to believe in the trust that they've built with each other, but also to work to keep each other honest. And so when K2 rolls in and says,

Mallory said I had to, I want everyone to take that seriously. In my squad, the boastful or that K2, that K2 presents, you know, that congratulations you were being rescued. I find so entertaining and delightful. Who knows how long you're traveling on a given hyperspace route. We need somebody to keep us entertained. We need somebody to keep us primed and poised. We need a, we need a droid who can infiltrate the empire. And this is a helpful casing, you know, that KX security droid body with this

reprogrammed Rebel Alliance soul. That's just the ticket, I think, for anything that might evolve. That dissonance inside of K2SO, it's like a positive dissonance, right? It's a blend of things that seem like they should be in conflict with each other. But the harmony and the way that it grips you so fully is like the magic of Star Wars. That really, like, foreboding design and then this like acerbic, yes, but witty and boastful personality inside of that frame, you know? who knows what personality awaits inside of any droid or being we might meet in the galaxy and K2SO helps us think about that.

There's also an analytical mind there, right? There's a 97.6% chance of winning the draft, I think, after this pick. And K2 would be there to pull the data. I had K2 as a backup to a backup, but I had them in strategists. That's where I would have put it. I had them in War Machine. Oh, guys, I would like to thank both of you for making my final point for me. It's so nice when this happens on a draft, which is I have chosen to put K2SO in comic relief,

but I would say irrefutably K2SO is a five category draft star and a five tool droid. K2 could have gone in any one of these categories as a first or second round pick, easily, comfortably, and I think without challenge or argument, Kate sacrifices himself so that Cassian and Jin can finish their mission. There is a tactical mind. There is a war machine conviction. There is the heart of a companion. There is the soul of a poet and the wit of a comic relief star.

This is hyperbole. Yeah, you just made up. Personally, just made up the poet category is wild card. It's not a fighter tool. You can't be a five-tool pick if one of these tools is wildcard. Maybe. Maybe it's wild card. And also, looking for it.

I would never put K2. I can go in a different direction. Never put K2 up against Chopper. Like K2 v. Chopper is like- Chopper's fucking over K2. Cutting K2's legs out from under him. Yeah. I think there's another war machine left on the board that's better too. We'll see what we'll see what the big van does.

And I didn't pick K2 in War Machine, but I think I easily. You could have. I just didn't have to because K2 could have been like a shitty pick in, in War Machine is what you're saying. sure. It's a wonderful pick in comic relief. It's a pretty good comic relief pick, yeah. The quotes that, the ledger of quotes.

We like K2. I'm just not agreeing that he's winning every category. You lost your mind. Well, winning every category other than companion where I have the top pick BBA. You don't have the topic. I've R2D2. You already said you would have picked R2D2. But I got the, I had the privilege and the pleasure of selecting the character.

You were like, I'm excited to try. She was like, I would have picked B.R2 and I almost pick B2, but I guess I'll pick BBA8. I don't want to slut shame BBA8 by saying that gives it out too much. You know, but, you know, I don't want to be that guy. Let's love freely. Let's love freely. Have his wire straightened by some fully in the desert by some woman in the desert. Get your hand off my wire.

Just your head off my wire. Okay, is it my turn now? Yeah. Yeah, you're on the turn. You have two picks here. Okay, so I'm going comic relief. And this is a joy, by the way, that has, like, really gotten a raw deal over the last couple of years. And I'm going to pick them.

I'm going to get the classic twosome right here. I'm going to build a family. So I'm going to bring. Oh, now everyone's building a family. Right. I'm building a family. I'm going to bring two best friends together. okay.

This is astonishing. I'm floored right now. I have to do it. I honestly can't believe this. It's the only line up he belongs on, right? Yeah, I have to do it. And by the way, I'll let you finish. By the way, I reject the slander for this droid.

I out and out reject the slander, okay? This droid has always been a droid that sure, is he a little haughty? does he walk around like a sort of Englishman like what is it is he Marcus Brody from

Yeah he got lost in his own museum Right he got lost in his own museum Sure But he has provided Unbelievable friendship

And a lot of laughs It's kind of funny To watch him get blown up It's kind of funny when he's always doing stuff from He's a funny It's a funny joy

And I'm going with C3 P.O in comic relief. It's funny to watch 3PO. Always kind of get it wrong. It's funny to watch 3PO because he's afraid. It's funny to watch 3PO try to reel in R2D2 and stop R2D2 from doing the things that he's done. It's like a school marm droid in an Englishman's body. I am drafting C3PO.

I am taking the best one-two droid connection in the history of. Star Wars. This is the pick and roll. This is Stockton Malone. This is the Kobe and Shaq. This is, these are the best one-two punch in the history of Star Wars. Terms of droids. C-3PO is my next pick. Go ahead. Cut it down. Talk shit about 3PO. Talk shit about one of the greatest droids in the history that you guys have just turned on for no reason. I think as a plus one to R2, it's a great pick. I have some thoughts. pairing R2 and 3PO,

of course that logic tracks. I will contend, and you will not be able to change my mind, there was no reason you had to make this pick here. There's just not a chance he was going to be taken. Oh, she's coming for your when you got back to you. I think it's your responsible draft position.

I have him, I will just reveal that I have him ranked 10th on my list. 10th. And I would not have felt happy. He's not. been a point where it's like... On my list at all.

But... There you go. There you go. I'm not mad about it. The draft where I felt like, okay, it's not, it's not defensible to leave him unselected any longer. You know, like you gotta take your... They're no bad.

You got to take your first basement at some point even if it's not sexy. But you just took him as your second round pick. You took him six overall. You guys, you guys, I am doing my part. Uh-huh. to stop the C3PO narrative. Okay. That has infected Star Wars.

To me, C3PO is a foundational Star Wars droid. And I'm picking them. If you pick R2 first, you pick C3PO second. I couldn't get Chopper, who I would have been my second round pick. If I get Chopper, I win the draft. If I have R2 and Chopper, she saved the draft. If I have R2 and Chopper, I win. It's over.

I literally could pick, like, anybody after that. I could pick vision. And I would still, I could still win the drag. You pick white vision. White vision, right? You know what I mean? Like, if I get those two, it's over, I win. But, like, it's, but in this situation, being at my personal heart and soul, the

bozeman of this draft, which is B2 Emo, is gone, I'm going. I'm going to go with 3PO. I'm going. You're not concerned about his cruelty and, cowardice. No. You flea-bitten furball is a thing that C-3PO says. That's a thing that he says.

Okay. So are we talking about a thing that he says this is to to Chubaca? Okay. So everyone treats Chubaca like shit. Let's just be honest. And it's a ball. Laughing up.

Fuzzball. Well, somebody get this carpet, this walking carpet out of my mouth. Everybody. So to single out C3PO in that instance, when Chubaca has been treated by everyone and not given a medal, Leah is the worst to Chubaca. To single out 3PO,

that tells me something about you and your anti-3PO agent. If we were drafting incestual Skywalker's, I would have brought it up when we talked about Leah, but we're not. You think the force made them kiss? you think it was the force because you think the force is trying to tell them that they're connected

and she misread it could be I always had that thing Oh brother I thought it said boyfriend Brother boy I always get them confused She messed it up Yeah Um

Okay Okay You know what I'm I'm gonna go strategist here And look Interesting. It's, it's, for me, in this situation,

one of these was going to be, one of these was going to be a neglected category because we're starting to get to the late round Kawhi Leonard's situations here. I'm going strategist. Let me tell you why I'm going strategist. Because when I'm going strategist, I'm looking at two things.

Sure, battle strategist is one thing. someone who can help you, you know, when you're in the shit, like it's full metal jack when you're in the shit. But also, I think somebody that's been around long enough to have many different skill sets to be able to identify a lightsaber

simply by who constructed the lightsaber. I'm so mad right now. Somebody who can be a strategist, not just in battle, but could also put two people together, right, and let them know how they need one another. I'm talking about problem-solving ability, strategy, all of that stuff. It doesn't get any better than Huyang.

He's been around 25,000 years. He's seen everything. He's seen everything. He knows everything about the force. He knows everything about the Jedi. He's a wealth of knowledge. How could there be a better strategist as a droid? There's someone who's been around that long, seeing the Republic in different places.

This is the person. Is he the best fighter? Does he have hands? even though he's got like four of them? No, sure, he put punching his mouth. Help. But even in the moment that he gets punched in his mouth, how does he get out of that against that assassin droid?

Ding, ding, ding, ding. Strategy, what does he do? Pulls the goddamn wire out, letting Asoka know that it's time to come down there and help them. Could make an argument that maybe Asoka should have been able to sense danger out there, but can they sense danger from droids? Me and my brother had a four-hour argument on this. It ended up with us not speaking to each other, and we still haven't spoken.

I was like, she should have been able to speak that. It's like, George's on alive. They don't register with the force. It doesn't make any sense. Shouldn't the danger itself? We got into a deep, deep argument. I missed the Colorado game. And we're still, we still haven't spoken, but that's okay.

Wow. So this was early on Saturday morning. Oh, this went for a long time. Because I had just watched Revenge of the Sith, right? Yeah. For the 900th time. Oh no, that's actually not Revenge of the Sin. I watched Attack of the Clones.

And an attack of the clones, the assassin comes for Padme. And both Obi-Wan and Anakin sense it. I sense it too. And they run in there. My brother goes, well, there was a human being in there and the things that they were using to get to her were alive. So they sensed it. But they can't sense a droid.

Space centipedes. And I looked at him and I said, you're full of shit. And you're always making shit up that nobody ever said. Anyway, whatever. Can I ask you a question about Huying's strategy prowess? Yeah. How do you feel about the fact that the last episode of Asoka winds up with, like, one person in the clutches of the villains and the other person in the ocean?

How is this strategy helping our heroes in this last episode of Asoka? I'll go further. You're saying how could Yang's strategy be better? How could there be a better strategy? If you're going to prop up the depth of knowledge and the history of the Jedi, then I think we have to ask, what did Hu Yang do exactly to help? We know nothing about where Hu Yang has been, what Hu Yang has been doing. You helped a lot of younglings forge their lightsabers, and that's beautiful.

But we've heard nothing from you until you reunited with Asoka, where your strategy, quote unquote, is to, tell Sabine that she is the least forc attuned Padawan in the history of existence. To shatter her confidence in a way that will prove devastating. Devastating. And then to Joanna's point, his one bit of counsel is immediately disregarded.

Now, I love Hu Yang. I love Hu Yang. last time I knocked the round, like the overall pick, and now I will, I will knock the category. I love Who Yang, but as a strategist, as a fuckable robot, yes. A couple of things. Hot David Tenon. A couple of things. A couple of things.

A couple of things here. I'm scrambling. A couple of things here. Yeah. This was the Troy Joe wanted to fuck and you blew up her entire draft. You just know, that's not true. David Tenet. This is a couple of things here.

Couple of things here. Number one, it is true that he told her that she didn't have very much forceability, right? It is true. That is just a fact, okay? It's just facts. Right. But does it sound strategy?

No, it's, it sounds strategy to tell her that she needs to return to her role as As Sokis Padawan. It sounds strategy to encourage her that despite the fact, that she is not attuned to the force, that her place is still with Asoka. He's seen a lot of Jedi. He's seen Jedi that are ridiculously talented in the force. And let's be honest,

he's seen some of these people shit the bed and kill children. Okay? So what he's essentially saying is, you don't have the force, but that's not everything. I've seen a lot of younglings, and I've seen what people need to be successful.

And while you don't have this thing, there are other things that you do have. That's definitely the vibe we're getting from Mr. It's standard Jedi protocol. And no, the lightsaber is yours now. Second. The only reason why they got

emotional intelligence. The only reason why they got fucked up is because they didn't listen to him. He said stay together. And, the minute that they didn't, Soka ends up in the world, the world between worlds, talking to a

force demon. I'm almost certain. And, and, and, uh, and, uh, and Sabine gets seduced by the dark side. Force demon is my new favorite. Like, had they stayed together, like he asked them to stay together, he foretold what would happen to them if they split up. I just wish, I just wish his strategies didn't come in the form of like fortune cookies. platitudes of like, stay together.

I always thought you worked better that way. I mean, like, what the fuck is that? Like, give me a plan, sir. Right. Well, hold on. Strategy is tactics. It has to be like executable. I mean, sometimes strategy is tactics.

They're different types of coaches, right? There's a coach that draws a 20-place script and goes out there and has you executing your Sean Payton's that'll then get to the five-yard line, run a double reverse, have everybody in New Orleans going, what the fuck is this guy doing? And then there are coaches like Mike Tomlin that just get his fucking guys ready to play, right? Did you see the score of the Steelers game this week? He's won two championships. Let's not talk about now.

Let's talk about what he's being able to do. Coaches that get his guys ready to play. And so what I'm saying is Hu Yang is coaching him in the same way he's coached the thousands of Jedi. and he's trying to show them how to be a team. Hey, if they don't want to listen. Yeah. This is a real scoreboard situation. I'm just looking at it.

I'm saying to me as a strategist, what I see from Wu Yang is an asset. An asset. It's fine. I'll take them right there. Uyang strategist. It's for me. A great droid,

a puzzling category selection. But this is why we do it. You know? Mallory, what's your pay? delighted by the pick I get to make now. I didn't think that this character would still be here. I'm actually pretty surprised. You do this every time and it is, and that is like,

you're trying to calm, you're trying to carn the listeners. I am dazzled. I cannot believe I get the thrill to pick. And then I get these like just bananas value picks. I just can't believe it. Absolutely. I am fulfilling my base function to nurse and protect. and draft not only the pick I would have wanted to make anyway,

but also the best available talent on the board. I'm taking IG11. And I'm doing it gladly. I am doing it gladly. And I am doing it in wildcard. Wild card. And there's a reason. This gets back to the reprogramming thing

that I talked about a little bit earlier with K2SO. My family is a family that believes in second chances, new leases on life. and the opportunity always to reinvent yourself. Let's think about the number of iterations in our limited time with IG that we've already known and seen. A hunter-droid becomes a bounty hunter, sacrifices himself for the good of his fellows

after teaching the downright hopeless Dindjaran to take off that helmet, to believe in a bond with a droid, and then reprogramming sets in. Thank you, Quill. We remember you still. And IG-11's work as a nurse droid, as Grogu's nurse-droid,

with some of the most inspiring stuff that we've had the privilege to witness in Star Wars. When IG cruises in at high speed to Mob Gideon's Navarro assault base, and he is annihilating with reckless aband. in every trooper in his path, while also lovingly and dotingly nestling Grogu against his chest in a baby Bjorn, this tells me everything I need to know about the character.

I can't wait. Now that his corpse has been mercifully restored and he is no longer being cruelly and wrongly used as Grogu's go-card. Weirdest, weirdest things. Marshall of Navarro. Will we see IG in his own series at some point? I think he deserves it. We've gotten to see all of these acts of impact and kindness and growth since.

And that's why I'm going with, could I have done war machine? Sure. IG is an assassin. But I think that that would be, no, I didn't not tell you why, a violation of the sanctity of IG's evolution. And just a cruel and short-sighted and I think selfish undermining a viability. IG's arc. And I won't do that to IG11. Wildcard is not just a category that allows us to say, oh, I can't figure out where this character goes, or oh, I want two cat, I definitely want two companions, or two war machines, or two comic roof characters. Wildcard allows me to capture the totality of

IG11's essence. IG11 defies categorization. IG11 fits everywhere, and thus is the perfect wildcard. IG11 will sacrifice anything at any point to protect the other members of my family and my team, and it gets to be a family because chopper's not here to hurt everyone. You know what you know, Carol is desperate is when she starts repeating the death rate in the whole nine. Desperate. I'm thrilled. She'll filibuster from the jump.

She doesn't have an excuse for that. But it's when she starts repeating the same argument of like, and this pick also fits every single category. And this puts all the strategy. Positional flexibility. I'm running a modern NFL defense here. I can plug my character at safety linebacker or to blitz off the edge. Now you're just trying to fucking confuse me with words I don't understand.

She has no clue. You know that she doesn't know. But it is a difference between having, you know, you can't have the same guy at safety that you have at DeLondon. Yeah. And there you go. And so I really, really, this is a clear. War Machine pick, clear. A clear War Machine.

IG 11 doesn't want to be a War Machine anymore. Especially on the heels. On the heels of you criticizing those shiny Huang, who Wang, who that, Wang. I can't believe you didn't draft this

in War Machine. She's a clear War Machine pick. I genuinely disagree. I think that taking IG-11 in War Machine would be like, take IG-88 in War Machine. if you want to go that way with an IG, a hunter in that category. IG-11 is not a war machine anymore, and that's the point. We've been privileged to witness this character growth. Wait, so are you arguing of these expectations of societal norms?

Are you arguing that it would be a violation of all things sacred to put him in that category, or are you arguing, as you just did minutes ago, that he fits in every single category? Which one is it? he can be in every category and thus doesn't belong in any of them. That's the point. But he's in Wildcard because then he doesn't have to be

forced in and limited. But it would be violation to put him in War Machine. But he also fits in the War Machine category. He has all of those attributes. He contains multitudes and that's why Wildcard is the right home for him. Most people view Wildcard is like you got to wait till the end and then you just put whoever's best there.

But no. And Joe, you know that because you picked BD there, right? Yeah. Yeah. So WildCard allows us to look into the soul of the characters who are joining our team and recognize something sacred about the journey that they're on. And that's what I'm doing with IG-11, because IG-11 is a person whose corpse has been restored and is no longer in the town square for gawking instead is in my

squad as a wildcard. And I'm elated. I can't believe IG-11 was here still. I'm shocked. This is also a popular droid. And like, I do think that there is no shame in thinking about characters that people like. And no, we've gotten to spend a lot of time with IG11 in recent years. He's like very much a presence in our lives. I know, but like you say that and then you denigrate the gold plate

play. C3PO. C3PO, so weird thing. IG11, I can go around right now and show C3PO. I could stand right there with IG11 is C3PO back to back on Hollywood and Highland. People wouldn't fucking know who IG 11 is.

everyone would try to torque on C3PO because he's that beloved. You think the people on Highland would know who B.D. and Chopper are? Some of them would know chopper. This pot is for the ringer-vers audience. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just saying, you can't compare.

If you're talking about who people know, popularity, it's not going to be. Affection. So the character has really worked his way into our hearts recently. Just as Grover has his way into his chest cavity, you know? It's beautiful. Yeah. Absolutely.

Okay. All right, Joe, you're on the turn. You have two picks in a row. Listen, I had a really tough time in my campaigning category because I went back and forth and back and forth and I switched my one, two, one, two, one two, one two, back and forth. And it is, I'm just astound. I'm just like staggered and generally astonished that this pick is still here for me to pick in this category. I just cannot believe how lucky I am in order to pick as canonically the most. most fuckable droid of all time. L3

in my companion category. L3 and I will be heading up this family. We know it works. And it will work for me as I hold this family together with voiced by the incredibly

sexy, steely, intelligent, confident, Phoebe Waller Bridge. Could L3 belong in strategy? Did she impel an uprising? Yes. But I choose to put her here as my, as the co-lead of my family, L3. And if you argue against her, then frankly, as the first female droid on this draft, I think that makes you sexist.

Actually, I have an argument. I have an argument. Let's hear it. You could have used her as strategist, but you relegated her to her sex appeal. I was going to say the same thing. Oh, I'm sorry. Is your sexual companion only there for sex for you? or are they your emotional ballast?

Are they your intellectual equal? Yeah, sure. Go ahead and try to change it right now, let's move this. But the reality is, is that you mean. A lot of things, I'm just saying, sex is in there. Could have had her as a strategist, but what did you do?

Pretty weird. I'm sorry, do you think, are you saying that Landau only thinks of her as a sex object? No, but he knows it works. No, I think Lando thought of L3 is a, neural harness he could shove into the ship. Do we think that's what L3 wanted to be embedded into the fabric of the Millennium Falcon forever? To be with him forever, except he lost.

This is what we think that the droid rights activist wanted. Say something else. You know, the most prominent black character that we have and he fucks robots on this. I mean, he can't, you know, it's like we're already dealing with a whole bunch of perceptions, you know, in society. And, you know, Landa, I'm just saying, I love it. I'm surprised that she was still here as well. Yeah. I like L3.

I think this is an appropriate draft slot, though. Baffled that Mallory would pick IG over L3. I was like, oh, no, I'm screwed. She's going to pick L3. She picked IG11. Okay. Let's get back to the story. I have IG11 direct ahead of L3 on my power rankings.

That's an easy one. I think that L3 is a compelling character who's appropriately slotted where you select. did. I think the idea that L3 should have been like a first round pick is slightly strange. I don't say first round. You didn't think IG should be. Astonished that L3 made it to you. Astonished that IG made it to you? I am astonished that IG made it to me.

Oh, okay. Okay. You've picked your companion. So you have strategist and comic relief to go. Strategist and comic relief to go. My next two, it doesn't really matter. My next two, I don't think either of you would pay. pick regardless. So it doesn't matter what order I do them in because they are very special and unique to the particular brew that I have concocted here. So I'm picking in strategy. A brew of sex

and murder, to be clear. And emotion, B2. Sex, murderer and emotions. Tears? What else is there in life? Someone to help rein that murderer bot in. Someone to help plan the best move for how to take my wife L3 and my son B2 through this world and it is AP5 that people who would only know if you watch rebels if you watch rebels yeah but this is

chopper's like only droid friend basically so in the vein of R2 and C3PO I think AP5 and chopper together on the same team make a lot of sense highly intelligent on the strategy front is constantly getting the rebels out of, is constantly like, what if we think this through and what if we do this?

So yeah, and there's something more I have to say is credential to speak for himself, AP5 in my strategy. Like it by yourself. Are you genuinely asking? This is not how I feel about this personally, as you know, I'm a...

I feel like I'm done fighting. A rebel's head? No, I'm curious. Are you worried at all about going so heavy on the animated verse in terms of the voting. I think you know that that was my concern.

I'm not. I would. I think you know that that was my concern before we even started this draft as I was like we should pick droids that people actually know. Chopper, I would argue, is now a live action droid.

So I really feel like AP5 is my only animated droid so far. We've gotten like 37 seconds of Chopper screen time. That's true. It's true You guys are so

I'm done I love Fee5 I love P5 I genuinely love B5 I'm just like I just want to do Sunshine and Lollipops for the rest of this draft

Something's happened several minutes ago that don't feel great to me internally and I would just like to turn this whole attitude around who who

is Mallory up next right yeah yes what were you going to say that's no I'm interested in see what you're going to say. So I have, I've selected companion, comic relief, and wildcard. So my two remaining categories are strategist and war machine.

Which do I want to go with here? I think I know what I want to do here. I think I'm going to go. A couple really interesting options still available here. I have some choices. Ooh. Tough. to decide which of these wonderful characters to select.

Okay, I know what I want to do here. This is exciting. This is a fun one. This is good. I get to really get like a canon spanner on the team, somebody who's been there across the eons. I'm going to select my strategist, a character who has been a veteran of many battles,

a veteran of many wars, any wars who has the instincts to act decisively and independently, but also the wisdom to listen, to counsel, to heed the guidance of others. I am going with R5D4. Interesting. Built for adventure. This is a great droid who were of course introduced to all the way back at the dawn of our Star Wars journey and a new hope with us now in Mando. We get some time in like a certain point of view and the written span of the canon to spend more time learning about R5. It was so fun in Mando to not only see R5 work through like doubt and fear, it's that old, it's that old, how stark can a man be brave if he's afraid idea? Like when you think

about Dinn trying to push R5 to splunk on Mandelor, something he did not want to do, and how R5 constantly has to, after all of these years, work to find new courage and confidence and build trust with new people. And then you get to the covert, Carson Tava shows up, how my pal from our shared history. fighting for peace and goodness in this galaxy. Hailing Carson to bring them into the fold. When R2, back on Tatine, said, I need this to happen this way now.

I'm on a mission. I have a task. The fate of the galaxy hinges on what we do next. R5 was willing to make the sacrifice. He thinks strategically. He's a problem solver. I like the way that he is able to adapt quickly on the fly to the context of the moment and whatever the circumstances demand and has shown

and proven over the years that he can work with a number of different characters. And when it's time to hang out with someone like Pelly, he's ready to. And he's earned that. Love R5. What a great droid. So fun to have our five back in our lives. I'm glad to see that he got some Sean being abused by then, a droid that nobody really cares about. But isn't it kind of, I mean, I'm going to turn this around. Isn't it kind of does? that Mallory can say so much about something that like literally no one cares about. Genuine the Love our five.

Love our five. Babson-Faloney care. That's why he's back in the Mandoverse. You know, it's a, it's a droid that nobody, it's like a droid that nobody cares about. And that's why he's consistently been brought back

into the canon and has stories written about him. That's a why, that's the reason why we can show Deng Jarn a beautiful. using this droid, which is a terrible scene. And this is a scene that sparked Steve's entire droid rebellion on the Midnight Boys. You guys go watch Pew Pugh.

Good choice. Good choices. Pickles are slim. How R-5 is helping us learn and grow. Amazing. I mean, there they go. Joe, what are you? I support Mallion and her absolute kingdom of bullshit.

It's just. Joe's never been a huge R-5 enthusiasts. We had a, yeah, we worked through that. We did. We did. three pots, but yeah. Okay, clarity now. I would like to go back to the rules

as they were stated early on as a result to eligible droids that you can pick. I would like to hear that one more time before I make this choice. Because I have two choices, don't I? Or no? You do.

Yeah, you have your rounds four and five picks here to wrap out and round out your squad. So you're asking about when you can pick a entire group of droids instead of a character. Yeah. If there is not a specific established character who is a part of that group, or if there is, but it's more of a minor figure,

and you would be able to argue that the type of droid in question is supposed to function collectively as a character. And there are definitely, I think, a number of groups that fall into that bucket. Okay. Yes. I have to choose War Machine. I already know who my wild card is going to be. Okay.

I have to choose a war machine. I'm going to choose the dark troopers. Yeah. Yeah. You can definitely do that. I think that's completely appropriate. Okay. I'm going to... But my...

And I support you. I'm supporting you. Just clarification. Is it one dark trooper? Well, yeah. I guess that's the thing. You're choosing... You can't choose.

choose all the dark troops. You have to choose a dark trooper. A dark trooper. Yes. Right. Okay. Um, sitting alone in cold storage. And I just have to remind people, until Skywalker came up, they're about to fuck over all your favorite heroes. These guys were dead. Okay, these guys were fucked up. You thought that you let them out. They fucking flew back in. They said, guess what? We're coming back. You know what I'm saying? And did Skywalker crush them? Yes. But with a Jedi that powerful, with a metachloric count that high, which I tried to look up last night what Skywalker's metaclorin count is. It's tough.

Yeah, it's tough. It's tough to figure out how many metachlorins he has. You don't really know. It's tough. It's tough, but, I mean, it would have taken him to stop them from fucking over the problematic lady. and Tenjarin and everybody else who was still in there. They were gone. I was letting you know they were all going to get fucked up.

Your favorite Best Scar clad badass was about to get his ass kicked. All right. Until Skywalker came. We're talking about war. How about a droid that's built for war? How about a droid that is so far advanced for the purposes of killing? that it takes a cheezed out, cheaped out Jedi with all the powers in the world to come be.

I'm going with the Dark Trooper as my war machine. A perfect war machine to me. I like it. I like it. I think just one-on-one versus, like, I think the main threat is just the relentless assault of the mass of them. The masses. So one on its own, who knows, but still,

it's a beautiful foe. Certainly. All right. Now we're going on Wild Card. Um, look, I'm a gamer. Ah,

damn. I love to game. As a matter of fact, you know, I'm not sure if, do you guys like to play video games? Mallory. Huh?

Yes. Mallory, let me ask you a question. What's your favorite Star Wars video game? There are actually two characters you could pick here. I'm curious to see which one it is. There are two I had really high. my ranking from the gaming world. I'm fascinated to see which one you pick here. I'm not going to,

I'm not going to, I'm not going to answer the question. I feel like I know. I feel like I know who it is. Well, hold on, hold on. This is your wild card. This is my wild card. You feel like there are two that you can choose. Yeah. A droid from Star Wars games who could be selected as a wonderful pick here. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. I feel like there's only one. Okay. Let's hear it. The companion of Calcestis. Yeah. Great. That means I get to make my pick next. Exciting. I do love BD1, though.

I will have no notes on this pick. BD1. So BD1 is the... I have a BD1 Lego. I love BD1. And look, here's the theme. You can use them to scan stuff. Scan it all up.

He's your pal. And by the way, at a time when, you know, it's like two guys against the world, I'm coming in there. I've just started playing the game again. I'm enjoying it. I'm having a lot of fun. Uh, it's, it's, it's a, it's a wildcard pick that I feel like there's a true wildcard because if you're not a gamer, like Joe's not a gamer, you wouldn't know that BD1 is scant stuff.

No, here's why it's such a good pick. Even I know about BD1 and I'm not a gamer. So yeah, sweet little, yeah, just sweet little like compact pop in your backpack and go doing your adventures. He's got a little, flip it up. He's got a little visor. Like, he's like a little Ladanian Tomlinson of joints. You know what I mean? He's got like a little, he's got like a little visory scan stuff. I love him. I love him.

His eyes always remind me of Wally. He's such a sweetie. Wally is the best. And he's also a cool Lego character as well. Yeah. When you have him, I have him somewhere. My nephew broke him. But it's, that's what I'm going for.

I feel like I have a team that's pretty amazing. guys. I'll be honest with you. I think you guys are fucked. I love your first pick and your last pick. Love. Love. All right. Who's up next? Good squad. That's good squad. Mallory's last pick.

Fifteen great characters. I will also be going to the gaming world here. I was a little nervous for a second that Van was going to make this pick, especially given Van's enthusiasm for Legends canon. But shockingly, you did not pick my

War Machine. H.K. 47. Welcome to the squad. Let's fucking go. I think you can make a compelling case in a draft that allows us to go beyond the bounds of Disney Cannon that HK47 is the number one pick in War Machine. No. You don't think so. I mean, you're not going to say so. Chopper is by far the number one pick in War Machine. Chopper's casual dallions with reckless It's a world killer. Murder is not quite the same as HK47's Relentless Coder-era-assault. We're talking about a Jedi hunter of the highest order.

We're talking about Darth Revin's sanctioned killer. It's called Coder. I'm going to let you have that one. That's not the same as Loder. I'll let you have Coder. That's what people say. This this version of you guys

The draft version of the House of R Where you guys are Like clearly Basically blood sisters At this point Um Alternate name Clearly basically

I think so recommended that Back when we were picking In the working title era So hilarious to watch you guys Completely fed the fuck up With each other's bullshit It's so much fun It's just

It's a joy Two or three picks ago, I was like, is this the last draft I ever do? We're going to do this again. I think everybody has attacked each other in equal measure. I love HK. 47. I just think the dark trooper is a little shiny name. I love HK.A.com.

Okay, we're on the last pick. Okay, I'm not going to pull Mallory and say I am astonished that I still love this pick. I did not think anyone was going to pick this, but this was genuinely a top draft for me. It's because we love a character on an arc, right, Mallory? We do. We do. Here's my family. Yours truly.

My companion wife, L337. My sweet, perfect, never did anything wrong in his life, son, B2 Emo. Yeah. Are queer uncles, AP5 and chopper? here to protect the family at all costs. And right here in the middle of the family is my troubled son, BB 90, in comic or relief. Here's what I'll say. Genuinely, anytime BB 90 and it was on screen, I was laughing really hard because it was like really actually a stroke of genius to see an evil version of BB8.

It was just like absolutely delightful. So BB19, I can fix him. and he is part of my family. And even if I can, I love him anyway. He's part of my family. Chopper, he'll keep him in line. Yeah. He's dead.

He's dead. Chop, he's, he hasn't even made to your house. He's already dead. Chopper gonna kill, like, it's gonna be a whole situation in your crib. Chopper, y'all gonna be on dayline. Y'all are. Y'all are. Like, it's like, Chopper.

Like, Chopper is gonna go through. The family. The family. I'm going to go through your whole fucking family. Family. Family. True crime. I'm telling you.

My family. Okay. Are there any droids who anybody is surprised didn't get drafted? Like who is the best remaining player who you're stunned is an off the board? I'll give you a player that, um, that your friend of mine, Dave Gonzalez fed to me that was like my backup war machine. Uh, from the, but, but I didn't. did my own research into his character. So I felt like I understood his character.

Mr. Bones. Yeah. I thought so one might take Mr. Bones. Yeah. Like incredible Chuck Wendy character. Absolute maniac. Homes and sings while he pulls his victims apart.

Like absolutely unhinged energy from Mr. Bones. And he's called Mr. Bones. Is actually who I had in mind when like specifying if there is a category, if there is an actual character in that type, but you still think the overall type is meant to function as a character, because that would be the B-1 battle droids as like a collective, and then Mr. Bones, obviously, is a specific character. He was who I was thinking of.

That's a good one. I thought General Kalani might be taken as a strategist. He's a great character from the animated verse from Clone Wars and Rebels. Adam will be sad that he wasn't taken number one overall. He's like Adam's favorite droid. He's a good great character. But that's a little bit of a deeper cut. I thought the pit droids might get some love.

Or the gonged droids or the mouse droids. I thought, I thought, I thought Dio might be, Dio's very cute. Dio's adorable. Yeah. I said, I said his name on an accident. But like, yeah, I thought Dio might be. Not Dio. You don't like Dio?

No. Dio's adorable. Like a little puppy. Thought someone might take the Droidica? Mm. Dronica. I thought we might have a debate over whether or not we would count General Gravis as a droid, given that he's a cyborg, but he's a little bit.

more machine than mad now. You know what I mean? Like is a cyborg a droid. Because at that, but that opens up the Vader conversation and all of that stuff. You know? You can't really take Greas.

But if you look at Vader who's like stomping around humanoid, whereas like Grievous is like, look at my metal arms. He fucking coughs. Like he's got a cough. That's a dude. Some of our droids have the stammer's. That is true.

That is true. Adorable. stammer. I have to be honest with you. See, I have to be honest with you. And I'll be, you know, here's the thing with me is like I box a lot and I play a lot of basketball. And that's kind of like how I get my competition edge out. So I really draft for fun because I would vote for the team at B people on it. You can. You will have the opportunity to vote for your team instead of your own. My team is better. But my like, but my, like, but my, my, my, my, but my, my, my, my, My most soul-connected droid, the droid that makes me, I had trouble, I told you,

I don't know if you guys listened to it on a minute-in-bole, I had trouble watching it. Like, I was so, I was getting to me so much. He's very special. Let's go. I'm like, just fucking leave with him, Cassian. Like, just do what he wants to do. He lost his mom. And I will say this to you. If you look at, if you look at our lineups, I don't know, having R2 and C-3PO, like,

I'm the man. The original. I'm the man. droids. I'm the man. You got to, let's be honest. I mean, R2D2 and C3C3.

But your lineup is also very good. Like, I'm the, like, I'm the man. I mean, like, I just, I wish I could have got chopper. I wish I could have got chopper. I wish I could have got BBA8.

BBA8. BBA. Yeah. Did BBA take over for R2 as most beloved droid for like a hot second? Seriously. It was a BBA8 craze. BBA was like a drogo-type craze.

BBA was a sensation. I think Force Awakein, through Force Awakens, mixed Last Jedi, and then the absolute Korean off the cliff that was Rise of Skywalker. Like, BBA was never not beloved because Rise of Skywarker sucks,

but I think people overall just, like, don't hang with the sequel trilogy the way that they used to. So, I think our first six picks are unimpeachable. I think those are the first six picks. Yeah. I think they're on a piece of,

do you guys think there are enough to get out of here with 3PO? Do you guys, Do you guys have, do you guys have, do you think there's enough non-human characters to do like a non-human, Star Wars draft? Like, like alien, like non-humanoid alien draft? Aliens. Yeah.

Fron. Without question. Yeah. Ron. Shabaka. Yeah. All of those people. Asoka.

Zab. Throw them all in it. That's a good draft. That's a good draft. Maybe we should do that next. Let's do it right now. We're never doing this again. That's great.

We had a blast. This was fun. Fun with her. This was fun. Like, this was fun. Like, I've, I've seen Mallory's style now. And Mallory's style is, like, she's, she's vicious. This is a different kind of draft, though, because I love most of these characters.

So very few of the picks are about the characters. Had to be more, like, pointed with the, with the feedback, you know, draft slot, category, etc. I love, I love these characters. Mostly. Other than a couple of them. This was great. It was a blast. Any final thoughts?

No, I think... We talked about the... The droids we love. I genuinely... I'm being really serious. I genuinely think these are three great lineups. I agree. All three teams are great.

All-Stars only. Like, this is like a all-pro lineup of killers. Yeah, no, it's going to be... This is going to be an interesting one. Right. Great teams. It's going to be a tough one. Like it's, you look at it right now.

These are, these are, these are dope, these are dope choices. Steve. Steve is going to be good. This is going to be good. I had a blast. I did too. Why are we all looking at each other with like a side eye and weird energy? I don't know.

A couple minutes ago. I'm not mad. I just got more wound up than I usually like to get. I usually let Mal be the wound up one and I'm like placid in response. And I got caught. up in the, no, you just know that you got that,

I know what happened to Joe. There's a companion in everyone and a war machine in everyone, you know? It's true. I know what happened to Joe on this draft.

Everyone has two wolves. Joe got two wolves when you feed tomorrow land the movie. Movie I liked by the way. Um, um, Joe got called out for her sexism.

He doesn't like it. She doesn't like the fact that she had the chance to put a woman in a strategist position. Oh, please. Please tell me about my. sexism, man, please.

Yeah. See, they come at me, but I know sisters are doing it by themselves. For themselves. For themselves. For themselves. Every time. That's done.

Incredible. Perfect end of. This was a blast. Three wonderful squads, 15 wonderful droids. Vote for your favorite team on the Ringerverse Twitter and Instagram.

We will be back at some point in the future for another draft. We end every draft saying we'll never do it again. We always do. We always do. Remember, the Midnight Boys. Beo, pew, pew, pew. We'll be with you tomorrow, Wednesday, on the ring or verse. Instant reaction to Asoka, episode five. We will be back on the House of Our on Friday with our Asoka Part 5 deep dive. Thank you to our favorite force-wielders, Steve Allman, for producing this episode, our Junoam Gapal, for his additional production work on this episode, and Jomi Adoneron.

for his work on the social for this episode. And thank you to Van for joining us today for our first House of our draft. What a pleasure. What a treat. What a thrill. So much fun. Blast.

All right. Until next time. Roger, Roger. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava theater stage on April 30th,

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