How To Destroy Everything - Episode 2: How To Destroy A Home Part 1

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

Danny & Darren explore the absurd, bizarre, and horrific aspects of the house Richard called home for more than 40 years. And in opening up his father’s secret compartments (both literal & figurative), Danny is confronted with whether he’s truly ready to face the ghosts that haunt him. Instagram: @how_to_destroy_everything Twitter / X: @HowToDestroyPod Support us here: https://www.patreon.com/HowToDestroyEverything/about If you have any stories about Richard Jacobs or just want to drop us an email please contact us here: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, you've reached Jordan Lee, Administrative Assistant in the Office of the St. Louis County Assessor. Please leave a detailed message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks. Mr. Lee, this is R.J. Jacobs. I'm calling to follow up on my letter dated July 12th regarding my request for a change of address to a custom title for my home on Royal Manor Drive. I submitted all requisite paperwork with the Creve Coeur post office. Dear Mr. Lee, I would appreciate I'm writing you this letter rather than calling because no one ever seems to answer the phone over there and I'm beginning to wonder whether anyone is actually... ... lack of diligence. And I must say that your underling, one phone call and

follow-up correspondence I was infuriated to learn this morning via form letter. I would appreciate a call back, and my patience is wearing loose. My reference number is 1-Apple-Tango-6-4- You or someone in your office must think me a fool, Mr. Walters. I assure you, I will not go away simply because you have failed to accurately understand your... R.J.! R.J.! Mr. Walters, so that's what your voice sounds like. I expected a deeper resonance, but...

Anyway, I'm assuming you've received my letters and... Almost daily letters and phone messages, Mr. Jacobs. Yes, how could I avoid them? Well, if you've received them, then why haven't you responded to any of them? Mr. Jacobs, Mr. Jacobs. It is 1.15 in the morning and you have somehow reached me at my home phone number.

A home where my wife and children live. Well, you know, none of this would have been necessary if you'd just responded to my letters in the first place. Look, look, look, Mr. Jacobs. Mr. Jacobs. If I might, necessary if you just responded to my letters in the first place or any of my mr jacobs mr jacobs if i might for the past six years you have harassed members of my team who are doing nothing but diligently attempting to do their jobs that is not at all how i would characterize my interaction i'm not surprised by that i am not surprised you would not characterize that. No, you're going to hear me out.

Now, I am very familiar with your file. And you have sent 112 letters. You have threatened, confused, and frankly, frightened some of my employees. One of whom quit rather than have to deal with your relentless bullying now wait just a minute here i can't be blamed and honest to god and honest to god there is a part of me that wants to tell you to go to hell mr walters i mean i'm not recording conversation, but maybe I should be. Do I have it right, Mr. Jacobs, that you want your address changed, officially, from a street number to the words, The Royal Manor? Yes, that's correct. It's a reasonable request. It's been denied on scrupulous terms.

And if I grant this, if I grant this so-called request and ignore the regulations in my jurisdiction that prevent me from doing so, do you promise to never contact my office or my home for anything ever again? Yeah. Scouts honor. Very well. Then congratulations, RJ, on your victory. We will send confirmation to the Royal Manor, Royal Manor Drive, St. Louis, Missouri, 63141. Great.

Now was that so hard? They say that a man's home is his castle. And that was certainly the case for my dad, Richard Jacobs. And yes, he did legally change the address of our house to the words The Royal Manor. But it was actually a fitting title, in a way, because growing up there, I kind of felt like I was nothing more than a lowly serf. Life's pretty good for the lord of a manor. As for the rest of us, not so much.

When we left off in our last episode, we were about to get into the support group that sprang up in St. Louis for folks who had been sued by my father. Now, we're in the middle of searching for members of that group. So far, everyone we can confirm was involved has unfortunately passed away.

But as we mentioned in our bonus episode, the response from you all, the listeners, has changed our plans. We'll save the support group for a little later in the season because you all, the listeners, has changed our plans. We'll save the support group for a little later in the season because we've got something now, a two-part episode centered around the Royal Manor, that we can't wait any longer to share. My name is Danny Jacobs, and this is How to Destroy Everything, a podcast about how one narcissist, my dad, destroyed his family, his neighborhood, and his community. This is episode two, part one, How to Destroy a Home. And joining me on my

journey, as always, is the one and only, my BFF and co-host, Mr. Darren Eugene Grudsky. Mr. Darren Eugene Grudsky. What's up, Danny? That's quite an intro. My goodness. Feels a little off color, but I'll take it. You know? You also have been sitting there the whole time. I have.

Just full disclosure. We should dive in. Yeah. Let's get this party started. As we mentioned in our interregnum, what started all of this is that Dani got a message on Instagram from a 16-year-old girl who had heard the podcast and happens to be living currently in the Royal Manor, in your old house. And she asked if we wanted to get together and trade stories. Yes. And one of the things she said that really intrigued us was when she moved in with her family,

they thought they were moving into a fully remodeled house. But, okay, well, hold on. Let me find it here. Jesus, you have notes. Oh, you wrote down what she said. I keep detailed, detailed notes, Darren. You prep for this. Yeah, I just show up and wing it.

All right, here it is. She said, one thing they didn't renovate was the attic. Yeah, I mean, it's like, I just show up and wing it. All right, here it is. She said, one thing they didn't renovate was the attic. Yeah. I mean, it's like, what? I am dying to know what's up there. You know, in hindsight, it's odd that I couldn't have just memorized. That was a very small quote. It's a very short quote.

It was a little disappointing. I thought you had something more specific to say. Yeah, yeah. So you are going back to St. Louis to meet with the family. You're also going to tour the house. Oh, my God, yes. You're going to uncover what the hell is in that attic. Yes, and by the way, just so the listeners know,

Danny has made it abundantly clear that he will not be joining me in any way, shape, or form. That's great. I offered, I mean, I'm the one who's going back to St. Louis, but I was like, you want me to FaceTime you in there? I can show you around? No, thank you. It's so definitive. No, thank you. It's so definitive. No, thank you.

It's a little surprising, to be honest. Well, look, I mean, I went into this podcast ready, I swear, to go on this journey of understanding my dad. But I thought I was going to be doing that from the safe confines of a podcast studio. Okay? I didn't even consider the possibility that i might actually hear from the girl who's living in your house and get invited back in there okay yeah look at it like when my dad died i had the chance to go back i could barely step inside i remember that my brother wanted me to look around and and see if there was anything in there i wanted to keep and

i kind of like popped my head in, just did a little swivel, and said, no thanks, throw it all out. You know what I mean? I ran. I did not walk. I ran. You're right. You're right. You'd really, really close the book on this. On its physical space, yeah, for sure. I mean, obviously, there is a lot that's unresolved about my dad.

And obviously, I'm trying to understand him and to find some closure. That's why I'm doing this but but i just don't think that i need to go back to that house to get that closure and to to find out what i need to find out it's like the way you're describing it it's like that place has become a haunted house for you oh and you don't want to go oh yes my dad is an apparition uh in so many ways that that that haunts me to this day i mean why i ask you why would i want to go back to a house in which his spirit is still in the walls in a way you don't think his spirit is actually still in the walls i don't know i don't know what honestly i'll be know. I don't know what, honestly, I'll be really honest, I don't know what

my dad's capable of. Well, if you're not going to go into the house with me via FaceTime, let's at least dive into the house, you know, conversationally.

Sure. That I can do. Into the Royal Manor, Royal Manor Drive, St. Louis, Missouri, 631-401. You know, as I'm imagining that,

that address written down, I'm like closing my eyes and seeing it in my mind's eye written down, St. Louis, Missouri, 63141. You know, as I'm imagining that address written down, I'm like closing my eyes and seeing it in my mind's eye written down. I'm wondering where it would go in the phone book because I feel like the phone book is in order of numbers, right? The old phone book back in the day when there were phone books. It wasn't in the phone book. It wasn't in the phone book? No, no, no, no, no.

I'm just trying to think about you as this kid. Like you were unreachable. I mean, how did you get mail? I probably was much more isolated than I realized as a child. Did I get mail? No, almost rarely. I mean, I can tell you that the Nintendo Power magazine was intermittent in its ability to find me. Yes, so that was a real tragedy.

You know, I haven't felt bad for you this entire podcast until right now. Yeah. Until that moment. That is devastating. I was Nintendo powerless. Oh. Um, anyway,

were there other downsides to the Royal Manor? Well, I mean, yeah. Emo's Pizza, Kve Coeur, please hold. Give that one to this guy. No, the one with the hat. I'm sorry. How can I help you? Hi, yeah, can I get a large pepperoni and sausage?

Sure, for pickup or delivery? Delivery? What's the address? Uh, the what? I can't hear you. Can you speak up? Uh, the Royal Manor. The Royal Manor. The what? The Royal Manor. I can't hear you. Can you speak up? Yeah, it's the Royal Manor. It's on Royal Manor Drive in Creve Coeur.

The Royal Manor. Very funny, kid. No, I'm not joking. I know it's weird, but that is, in fact, my address. Okay, okay, but what is the street number? There isn't one. That's what I'm trying to tell you. If it helps, it's next to

12797 Royal Manor Drive. No, no, that doesn't help. What does it say on your mailbox? It says THE Royal Manor. I can come outside if that makes it easier. Just hold on, hold on. Hey, I've got some kid talking about THE Royal Manor.

Have you heard of that? Hold on one second. Give me the phone. May I ask who I'm speaking to? Hi, this is Danny. Hi, Danny. I'm the manager over here, and I'm sorry to let you know, but we won't be delivering to your address. You won't? No, we won't. Because you live at the

Royal Manor, right? Yeah, that's right. So, uh, have you been the one that's been calling ten times a day every single day? No. Oh, God. No, that was not me. Really? Really. Yeah. Honestly,

we just, we can't really take it anymore. Someone has been harassing me ever since he ordered the tailgater and tried to pay with an expired coupon. And I'll tell you what, the only reason the driver was late is because you don't have a number on your mailbox. I mean, what the heck kind of house doesn't have a street number? The Royal Manor. Is it just a joke?

Is it a big joke? No, it's not a joke. And I just, look, I'll be honest. I just, all I want is my pizza. Well, then get an address on your house, okay? Either that or you're going to have to try Little Caesars. Wait, hold on. Can I just... God damn it.

Dad! Dad! God damn it. Dad! I mean, I don't mean to laugh at your youthful struggles. Well, that's exactly what you just did to me. I am doing it. You didn't mean to, but you did. Well, because, I mean, it's so absurd.

I mean, you're just trying to get a pizza. And what did happen after? By the way, what's so absurd. I mean, you're just trying to get a pizza. And what did happen after? By the way, what's the aftermath of that? So you don't get the pizza, right? Right. Well, that means I would have had to resort to any number of the very strange, you know, culinary items that populated my dad's kitchen. I remember it was very strange. There would be, like, there would be, be you know an endless supply of sardines

Oh yes he did have like cans of them You know his relationship with food was Unique to say the least Like you remember how he used to eat pizza Oh baby yes I do So my dad you know Believed that and this is true That the crust and bread was fattening

But the cheese and sausage and pepperoni And everything that's all good That was okay soing. Right. But the cheese and sausage and pepperoni and everything, that's all good. That's all good. That was okay. So what he would do is we'd go to get pizza, and he would order an entire pizza pie. For himself. For himself. He would scrape off all the cheese and toppings into this monstrous pile, this mound, and scarf it down.

Oh, my God. You know, I remember he would do that after Little League games. We would all go out for pizza. Oh, yeah. And everybody knew it was this huge spectacle. And all the other kids would be pissed because they'd order a certain amount of pizzas, assuming that the adults would have, like, one or two slices, but he would have a whole pie himself. Oh, yeah.

So we all got less pizza. Yeah. Your dad was a villain at these events. Yeah. And it was also, like, a disgusting disgusting thing to see did he do it with did he eat with a fork how did how did yes yes he would use a fork he wouldn't use his hands he wasn't he wasn't an animal uh but i mean look just to give everybody a mental image of this um it looked like pizza the hut from Spaceballs, if you remember that.

That was eerily similar to what he ingested. We are getting a little bit off topic here. We are. Let's go back to the address. Sure, sure. Because one thing that I've always wondered about the Royal Manor, which everybody knew about when we were kids, was why. uh was um why meaning like why did he go to so much trouble to legally change his address to that yeah i mean it's a great question um my and my guess is there are several answers to it i mean the first that comes to mind is i i i believe that it probably felt cheeky to him you know it was

something he wasn't supposed to do something that he he wasn't well, that wasn't supposed to be allowed. And I think he found some joy in getting that kind of stuff accomplished. Well, I mean, hold on. That's a very generous interpretation, I think. Like this was he was a menace in this in this regard. And it was all in service of his own entitlement and towards what was most likely, you know, malignant narcissism. I feel like cheek for the people that he hounded and bullied and sued and accosted that it did not feel cheeky. No, it's right. It's all a matter of whose perspective you're in.

I mean, he took some kind of joy in terrorizing. Yes. But for, you know, for those people, it was a nightmare. But for him, it was a little bit of puckish fun. That's right. You know, one bit of upside I could see here, if I'm trying to find a silver lining in all of this madness, is I bet you did not get very much junk mail when you were a kid. Almost none. Didn't know what junk mail was.

Wow. No, that's not true. I was aware of what junk mail was. You had me there for a second. You know what I think we should do? I wonder what your mom's first memories are of the house. You know, maybe she has some early day insights into how it all began.

So, Mom, here we are. Yes. So, I love you. I love you, too. Sandy, I love you. I love you, too. As Darren probably was saying, we're crafting an episode

that is in and around the Royal Manor situation of it all. Okay. Is that okay? Does that sound good? Yes, that's good. So how did you guys find that house? How did it get on your radar? Well, we were driving around trying to find a house that um that that dad that Richard wanted I would be remiss if I didn't if I didn't call something out which I thought was a very interesting mom and the way that you said that which is we were driving around looking for a house that he wanted you are a married couple like this is where you're gonna live and yet the way that you you just spoke about it was like your opinion did not matter. It didn't matter. That's why I said it that way.

He got it in his mind he wanted this house. I didn't want it. It was half done. In your opinion, you could say that and he would be like, it doesn't matter. This is where we're going to live. Well, he would just get mad at me. Okay.

What happens next? He got it into his mind that he was going to buy this house. And so he just, one time we drove by it and he wanted to go in and it was locked. I guess he has gone in it before, but this time it was locked. And he broke the door to get in. How did he break the door? But he kept pushing himself on it, pushing himself on it until finally... And you were with him for this?

Yeah, I think I was sitting in the car. But I could see him doing it. Is this the front door or the back door? Front door. Is this the front door? Is that in the daylight? Yeah, he broke the front door to get in. Do you think that they knew that he broke the door?

I bet they did. There was a lawsuit over it, but I just can't remember it. Welcome home, honey. So you guys moving in, are you in charge of the internal design, the interior design of the house? No, he did everything. He didn't like anything I did, even little tiny stuff. So what I did is I thought, well, I can decorate it, you know, the table so it looks nice. And so I bought, we already had our dishes, but I bought like placemats and napkins that kind of blended in with that color scheme.

kind of blended in with that color scheme. And so when he came home and saw those, he got really mad and he said they were ugly and he wanted it like his mother had things like, and she had her, she had everything white in her kitchen. And I didn't like that, you know, but he had a big fit about it. And he said, I told you I didn't want this stuff in here so I had I just gave up about it he was like he had to design everything he said I could design one room which in the house so that was that room where the rocking chair was do you remember where the piano was this was upstairs well there was a room at the top of the stairs immediately to the right that when I was growing up and living there, Dad had his computer in there. Okay, that was supposed to be my room.

I had bought a bed in there, and I had bought a lamp, and then there was my sewing machine in there. Now, that was my room and he said he would i could pick out some wallpaper and he would have frank put it up and he never did hoteling yeah wow that is um man i feel i feel terribly for sandy, he was so completely controlling in ways that I didn't even realize. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, by the way, my mother was so completely subservient, too.

I mean, there was a part that she did play in that dynamic. What are you saying? You're right. She could have pushed back. Yeah. But what would that have resulted in? You know, unimaginable conflict. Right.

And as we know, most people, many, many people didn't want to deal with that and they didn't live with it. No, it's true. It's true. It would be, ultimately, would not have been worth it. Yeah. I have to say, like, I feel like only now, even after decades of friendship with you, I'm

actually becoming aware of the extent of the kind of, like, monstrous behavior that your dad was capable of, that you actually just grew up in, that you sit with even now. I never really understood this before. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's interesting. I don't know that I was doing this consciously when I was a kid, this consciously when I was a kid, but I definitely, I definitely felt like I was in this isolated little weird, dark bubble growing up that even you, you know, my best friend,

no matter how close we were, like, I didn't really let you into that world. I didn't let anybody into that world. I mean, part of it, I think, was that it was so painful and I was so frankly, um, I was so frankly relieved to be outside of it, that when I was outside of it, when I was

hanging out with you or doing whatever, I didn't want to revisit it then. I mean, I had to deal with that world all the time. So it was a respite from that. You know, when you're saying that, it makes me think of something interesting about our friendship, especially in those days.

We didn't talk about this, as you said, at all. But if I think back on high school, we didn't talk really about anything. But I don't know that any 16-year-olds... But I think that like we you know because i think that when you were out of your dad's world you were um i got a lot of our friendship in those days was i mean academically we were very serious yeah but other than that it was very silly and performy sure a lot of that yeah i think i think more than usual like i hear i hear what

you're saying like 16 year olds don't have like intimate vulnerable right most of them don't but like even into college like it was a long time before you and i could sit down and have a real conversation about your dad well or about any you know sort of real vulnerable pain i didn't want to i didn't want to explore it. I mean, once I left, once I left for college, my intent was to keep that as far away from me as possible. I was finally free. It's the last thing I wanted to do at that point

and into my young adulthood was to go back there even emotionally, even figuratively, intellectually, and think about that stuff again. Do you think, you know how when we were kids, how if you were to come over to my house and see my mom, it would never be like, hey, Mrs. Grotsky. It was always like, Mrs. Grotsky, this big performance. You know, you see my Aunt Marsha Aunt Marsha

you know like my mom to this day always is like you know does Danny ever turn it off like she still remembers you as a kid kind of in this performy place all the time

that's really interesting I mean, I can tell you what I thought I was doing at the time and then what I think I was really doing at the time and didn't realize. What I thought I was doing at the time, I just was like, oh, I'm just going to play the role of, I enjoyed the idea of playing the role of the crazy neighbor kid that comes over and eats all your food. You're being cheeky. I was. You're a cheeky. I was.

You're a little puckish charm. Oh, yeah. That is something that I also possess. Yeah. And so I would come over and I'd eat all your food. You would. And I would not ask. But I mean, in a way, though, it felt like, you know how in a lot of those sitcoms,

like those older sitcoms from the 90s? The Wacky Neighbor. But the Wacky Neighbor, there would always be a special episode where you'd figure out what was happening in that house over there. Why is Urkel so strange? There was a darkness. Something that they're getting away from. I think that's what was happening. We were replaying a 90s sitcom.

Those sitcoms came from a truthful place. Yeah. I think that what was actually happening psychologically was that I was, I think that it was a way of separating myself, a way of, a way of not, I don't know, about not being emotional or something. Oh, that's what I think it was. About my life. I think that's exactly what it was. I think it was a way to, you know, like, because if I'm just sort of playing it out in my head,

like, let's say you were leaving my house, right? Mrs. Garotsky, goodbye, so long, farewell, whatever it would be. Yes, yes. Then you walk out, and your dad's waiting for you. Yes, exactly. And you get into the backseat of your dad's car.

And it all becomes real. And it all becomes real, and all of that performance washes away. Yes, 100%. And you're back in. And so I think there was a, sorry, sorry to, Yeah, no, I'm just back in that moment. Back to that moment. And so I think there was a, sorry, sorry to, uh, uh, yeah, no, I'm just

back in that moment. And so I think, I think the performance was about trying to get as far emotionally away from that reality as possible. It was a means of self-protection in a way. Yeah. Um, you know, all this talk of your dad has reminded me of, um, uh, speaking of blocking things out, something that I think I had maybe kind of blocked out until this conversation. I haven't thought about it in a long time anyway. And it was back when we were having sleepovers at various people's houses. And one time we were sleeping over at your house, your dad's house, probably like age 10 or 11 or something. And I do remember that we ordered pizza and um probably with great a

great deal of difficulty and um uh we were having a pillow fight and i remember this moment in the pillow fight i stepped back for a second and i felt this like presence behind me you know in the hallway the darkened hallway from the den and i turn around and your dad is standing there in the dark watching us and i mean i was like it was bone chilling and i have no idea how long he had been there yeah i looked at him and he looked at me and then my memory is that he took this little sip from his mug and turned and walked away and it was one of the most disconcerting moments in my entire childhood. Oh my god, that's crazy. It was insane.

That actually leads me to a question or maybe just a thought, which is I'm surprised your parents allowed you to sleep over at that house. Did they ever say anything about that? As a dad now, that's such a great point. No, they didn't. There would be no way in hell that I would let my child... If we knew a Richard Jacobs now, that's such a great point. I mean, no, they didn't. There would be no way in hell

that I would let my child... If we knew a Richard Jacobs now... No, not a chance. I mean, keep in mind, my parents also sent me to Humboldt County with my weed-growing aunt when I was 13, so it was a different time. And also, they graduated from high school with him.

They knew Richard, so they thought he was kooky, but I think they didn't think he was dangerous. But at the same time, if I had told them that he was lurking in the dark watching us have a pillow fight, they might have felt a little bit different. Yeah, right. Of course. I also wonder, though, if they were aware of the extent of what that house was actually like. Oh, no, absolutely.

And I don't think they ever set foot in that house. And if they had set foot in that house, I think they would have certainly felt differently. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because that house, I mean, the second you walked in, you knew that you were somewhere special. No, no, no, no, no, no. Special is not a word that I would use to describe that place. No? You sure? No, no. Foreboding, maybe. Menacing. Dark.

Fourth circle of hell kind of place. Terrifying. Porter Haven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the words that I would use. And I'm not alone, by the way. The developer who bought the house after your dad died, he felt pretty similarly. My name is Rick Kappert.

For the last 20 years, I have done a combination of rehabbing houses and some general contracting work also, depending on what the market's doing. But for the most part, I've rehabbed houses for the last 20 years. Yeah, I guess one question is, would you say, how would the Royal Manor house rank for you in your career, in terms of the most unusual houses you've ever worked on? Oh, it's easily the number one house. There's, there's, it would, all the votes for number one, if there were more than one, would go to that house. There's no doubt. Like, this house was just by far and away unusual.

Right. You know, this would be the house that your dad definitely didn't worry about leaving the house to the you know to to resale value because he was leaving it to the heirs and he did what he wanted to do and it was it was there was some bizarre shit in that house i'm telling you well i i must say that does not surprise me in the slightest, though it is still jarring to hear. I mean, I lived there. Right. I mean, for him, for Rick, this was kind of a professional curiosity.

But for you, this was your home. Exactly. What were some of the quirkier things about the place, by the way? Like, obviously, I remember he had a lot of, he had a lot of homemade tech with his phones, right? My memory is that, I was always pretty sure

he was listening in on phone conversations. Yes, yes. Well, my memory, he did have a lot of tech. My memory was that he would,

he had rigged it so that when your mom would call from her house, like, it knew that it was coming from her house,

and it would automatically divert the call to Pizza Hut so that she couldn't reach you. Yes, that's exactly right. It was a way of keeping us apart. One of the things that sort of, that I have a memory of your dad's, every time that I would call your house, ring, ring, ring, I hear the phone pick up. And then what does a normal person say when they pick up the phone? Hello. Yeah. But your dad would not. Yes. Your dad would wait. He would, he would wait just in silence uh and i eventually and i i think i'm not alone here i think others would have this exact

experience i would wait and then eventually i would in a confused way say hello and he would immediately follow my hello with a hello what was he doing there do you think? I don't know. Was he trying to disarm me a little bit? God, I wish I could understand what that was about. Also, I remember the fish tank. It was huge. Okay, so yes, in the kitchen, my dad had this vision, this grand vision to build a fish tank the size of the wall.

It was literally the entire wall. It was a huge, massive fish tank to have just in a regular suburban house. Yes. Okay, and next to that fish tank, there was like a wall of technology. There was like, I believe, some kind of like atomic clock. Yes, yes, yes. Or like a meteorological center uh some stuff i don't even know what the fuck it was disney's tomorrowland kind of stuff

exactly like just like beeps and boop beep boop beep boop beeps kind of stuff and then and then but the fish tank yeah he never finished did he have even like a smaller fish tank to start with no he was he was just gonna go zero to start with? He was just going to go from... Oh, he went zero to hero, baby. Yeah, that's right. Look, that's just the tip of the iceberg. I mean, my mom mentioned a whole bunch of things that I wasn't even aware of. Then he started getting interested in oxygen.

And so, because he thought he was going to have a heart attack. So he put little oxygen tanks in the closets and they were built into the wall. And then if he had a heart attack, he could go right over there and start breathing the oxygen. And so the thing about it was that he would, I guess it made him feel good because he'd go over there and breathe the oxygen. When you say made him feel good, he'd go over there and breathe the oxygen. When you say it made him feel good, you're saying he got a little high off of the oxygen? Yes, yeah, yeah. And so then when he ran out of the oxygen, he decided he was going to build a bigger oxygen tank.

And he had one put in, or he was going to, I'm not sure if he actually did this. and he had one put in, or he was going to, I'm not sure if he actually did this, he was going to have a big one, a big oxygen tank, put in underneath the kitchen going into the basement. Now, did you know if he did that or not? I have no idea. Under the kitchen, like under the floor? No, I think it was in the wall underneath the fish tank. Well, it's just funny you mention that because we just spoke with the builder who flipped the house and remodeled it.

And he mentioned that there was something, I think he said behind the fish tank, like a cavernous space. Oh my gosh, you're right. Yes, he said there was some kind of little container space or whatever. I bet that's where he had this big oxygen tank. Yeah. Well, I don't know if he ever finished that because I left him before he did. Right. It may have been empty.

It may have been empty. That's true. But that's what happened. That's why he got that big oxygen tank because he would use the little ones and use them up. Do you know if he built any other little secret compartments in the house? Oh, yeah. Okay, so he had a secret compartment in the bathroom that was in the hallway. And then above the sink, I mean, not the sink, above the bathtub,

there was a compartment that you could push right at the top. You could push the little doors there, which you couldn't really see. And then inside there, there was another set of little doors that you can push. And then he could put things in there and hide them. Did you ever look at what was in there? No. I didn't know. And somebody said that when he, maybe it was when we got it, that I told my lawyer about it and he

looked and I think there was a bunch of Viagra in there. Really? Fascinating. Yeah. Weird. I know. Man, oxygen tanks, hidden Viagra. God. I mean, it's, it's all just so surprising.

And sad. And sad, exactly what I was going to say. There's a sadness there, right? Because you know what I find really interesting and just so very telling about that is that my dad lived by himself, right? Yes, yes. No one was rooting around in his medical cabinet. No one was looking through his trash? Yes, yes. No one was rooting around in his medical cabinet.

No one was looking through his trash. Yes, yes. And yet he felt so ashamed of that Viagra that he felt compelled to hide it. No, you're right. I mean, whatever it was, it's like full-on secret life kind of stuff. And by the way, he didn't just put that Viagra in a secret compartment. He put that Viagra in a secret compartment within another secret compartment. That's very true.

Actually, you wonder, was the original plan to double up the secret compartments, or did he build the secret compartment? Once he got the Viagra, he was like, I need a place that's more secure. You know, in a way, this is like a great way to summarize the entire show here, which is secret compartments inside of secret compartments. Right, right. And with Viagra. With Viagra inside of them. Man, I have to say, talking through all of this stuff, I am absolutely like primed to go to the Royal Manor like right now.

I cannot wait to see. I want to see if the secret compartments are still there and I want to talk to the family that lives there, check out the attic. I just want to like see the place, you know? Yeah. What's up? Well, you know,

I guess I'm just thinking about a whole bunch of different things right now. So just give me a second to put my thoughts in order. Uh, yeah, you know, I, I think I, I started down the road of this podcast,

you know, assuming that, that, that I would at some point have to face things that I was frightened of. Um, I, first of all, I didn't expect it to happen so quickly. Right. But beyond that, I didn't expect that thing to be the house. Oh, interesting.

I think the reason was is because I had just, as you said before, I had closed the door on it. I didn't think it was even a possibility, this even remote possibility. And then when I got this message from Chloe and we decided that you were going to go, you know, that's why, like, I had this initial reaction that I was like, no, no, absolutely not. I can't go near it. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I get it now. I just, all I wanted, I was like, okay, I can get a sanitized Cliff Notes version of this thing from Darren. That's all I can bear. You're just trying to protect yourself like you were when you were a kid. Yeah. Yeah, and I guess as we're talking about this, as we've been talking about this during this episode,

I think that I've I've gotten a little strength from it hmm you know from recognizing that I am not that little kid anymore I am NOT as vulnerable as that little boy that's right I'm not as I I don't lack that agency and and it's making me think that maybe I can bear it in some way in a, you know, in a, in a virtual way, you know, on FaceTime. Well, yeah, that's, that's the thing, right? Is that I will be the one who's there and you will be doing this with me. Right. And I think, you know, we're doing this podcast together right you're not alone you're not that little kid anymore you're powerful now uh I understand your reticence

I mean like talking through all this stuff I feel like I understand your reticence more than ever before um I see now how that house is like the center of so much of this trauma but i don't i think i think you can do this like you know and i'll be your eyes and ears on facetime and you know think of it this way if it gets to be too much if you're feeling something like it's like it's all closing in on you you just hang up okay okay yeah yeah i i'm just because i'm i'm just realizing that i Okay. Okay. Yeah? Yeah. I'm just... Because I'm just realizing that I think this is what this whole thing is about. You know, I don't want to run away from haunted houses anymore.

So this is Darren Grotsky. I am currently driving in the rain in Creek Court, Missouri. It's occurring to me just now. I don't actually know the address of Danny's dad's house. I only knew it as THE Royal Manor. So I'm hoping that I will recognize it from probably nearly 20 years ago. I'm having a major sense of deja vu as I drive around the corner. Oh, oh, oh I think that's it. Holy moly. Okay, just as I've arrived, the downpour has started.

I'm just getting an umbrella out of the car right now. Because it is absolutely pouring down rain. Oh, the door's locked. Oh, did I put my keys? Okay, we're okay everybody. Got my keys, getting out my gear with my umbrella. This is when you'd really like to have a crew or a team of some sort rather than a one man band. Okay, I am, oh I see some people there. Hello, hello. Okay, I am... Oh, I see some people there.

Hello, hello. Okay, I'm going to stop the course. Talk to you soon. How to Destroy Everything is written, directed, and created by Danny Jacobs and Darren Grodzki. And, and, executive produced, edited, sound designed, and music supervised by Joel Peisig. Starring, in alphabetical order,

Danny Jacobs, Jonathan Kaplan, Stephen Kieran, Tom Conkle, Alex Rich, Pippa Schroeder, and John O. Wilson. How to Destroy Everything is a production of Aileron Films. If you knew Richard Jacobs and have a story to tell, please reach out to us at IKnowRichardJacobs at gmail.com Additionally, if you would like to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com

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