How To Do Everything - BONUS: Halloween with Amy Sedaris

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

On this Halloween bonus episode of How To Do Everything, comedian Amy Sedaris tells Mike and Ian how to terrify the neighborhood children, and they bring in Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! Judge and Scorekeeper Bill Kurtis for help.You can email your burning questions to [e-mail] To Do Everything is available without sponsor messages for supporters of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me+, who also get bonus episodes of Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! featuring exclusive games, behind-the-scenes content, and more. Sign up and support NPR at plus.npr.org.How To Do Everything is hosted by Mike Danforth and Ian Chillag. It is produced by Heena Srivastava. Technical direction from Lorna White.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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Don't worry. But we did get a question that needed an urgent answer. So here we are. Here's a little bonus episode. Hi, Mike and Ian. I'm having a Halloween party and want your advice on how to set up the best decorations that will impress everyone. I want them to be slightly spooky, but nothing that'll really terrify anyone.

Thanks, Spencer." We have just moments to get to this question before Halloween begins. There are but a few decorating hours left. Amy Sedaris loves Halloween. Amy, any advice for Spencer? Oh, if you're going for something sweet and charming, my godkids do a scary Halloween and I play a witch and I cackle on the porch for hours,

even when they're not home. And it's funny how the kids react to me because they can be really like, you're not a real witch. Yeah. Or they'll just talk to me in a way. And I'm like, no, I'm not. But the boys love it. And they're like, that's a really good cackle.

So then I go to the little boys and I go, God, these girls. And I complain, I drive a wedge between them. So you're dividing. But they were so mean to me, the girls. Let me ask you this question. Yes. You're going to have, let's just assume you're going to have people coming over and trick or treating. What do you, Amy you Amy Sedaris handout for Halloween? Well, no one comes to my apartment

But back in the day, I remember neighbors in North Carolina There were a couple women who would have you come into the house and sit down and eat a piece of pumpkin pie with them And I remember thinking Lady, this is it's like eight o'clock at night. Like this is the hour I'm going to sit there at the table and have pumpkin pie. Yeah. That's so much scarier than a witch. I think it is.

Isn't that creepy? Yeah. Maybe that's the solution for Spencer is just to set out a pumpkin pie and invite the children to stay. One on one conversation. I made it just for you. With a woman. Oh, listen to this.

What if Spencer does this? Familiarize yourself with the names of all the kids in the neighborhood so that when they come over to your house, you can say to them, welcome, Jacob. And so like you know it's them. That would be really freaky. Oh, I love that idea. Yes. I've been waiting for you, Jacob. And so like they, like you know it's them. That would be really freaky. Oh, I love that idea. Yes. I've been waiting for you, Jacob. And then here's your piece of pumpkin pie. Well, what would you do, Amy, for something

that's spooky, but it won't terrify you? Like what do you think best captures that? You know, maybe they can stick their hand in something that feels like eyeballs, but it's like grapes, chains, like sound effects. I remember buying a sound effects tape, and a Halloween tape, and I said, didn't the other children tell you? I had one of those tapes and I used to listen to it. It was called Horror Sounds of the Night.

And I used to listen to it year round. You just listened to it? Yeah. I wonder if it's the same one loved it. You just listened to it? Yeah. I wonder if it's the same one I had. They're so funny, aren't they? Wait, would this work? Amy, would you, maybe we can just do that in the clear and people can then take this tape and then make it,

they could do whatever they want to it. But you will be that voice. We can actually make it. We have the technology to make a new Horror Sounds of the Night. I say we do it. Tape starring Amy Sedaris. So yeah.

Yeah, I would love that. Why don't you lay down some spooky stuff and we'll. I'll do my witch for you right now. Okay, let's do that. Go ahead. Go back, go back. We've been expecting you. Ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, that's good. Didn't the other children tell you? Didn't the other children tell you? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, it's more it's more just an indication that you probably need maybe to do a little rehab on your on your subflooring It feels like like all spookiness as we think of it is really just a reference to Previous spookiness. Mm-hmm. All right, let's let's make this actually Like things that are really scary and we can we can bring in Bill Curtis to help us things that are really scary. And we can bring in Bill Curtis to help us. There won't be any overhead space left

when your boarding group is called. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Your friends have a separate group to chat without you, where all they do is make fun of you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. without you where all they do is make fun of you. That guy you've been calling Brandon for three years is actually named Brendan. You work in podcasting. This special bonus episode of How to Do Everything is produced by Henish Ravastava. Technical direction, I think, from Lorna White. Lorna Boo White. Lorna Fright was sitting right

there. Look, just Lorna, Lorna Fright would have been fine. You'd like to tip, but the options on the screen are 30%, 35%, and 40%. You can get us your questions, send us an email at howtoatnpr.org. I'm Ian. And I'm Mike. Thanks. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

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