How To Do Everything - Snack Bags, Shrek and Barry Manilow

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

This week from the archives, Mike and Ian help a high school student nail his performance in the school play. Plus, a listener asks how to compose a catchy jingle, so Barry Manilow joins the show to help out. And a quick tip on how to open your pesky bag of chips.You can email your burning questions to [e-mail] To Do Everything is available without sponsor messages for supporters of Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me+, who also get bonus episodes of Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me! featuring show outtakes, extended guest interviews, and a chance to play an exclusive WW+ quiz game with Peter! Sign up and support NPR at plus.npr.org. How To Do Everything is hosted by Mike Danforth and Ian Chillag. It is produced by Heena Srivastava. Technical direction from Lorna White.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

In the U.S., national security news can feel far away from daily life. Distant wars, murky conflicts, diplomacy behind closed doors on our new show, Sources and Methods. NPR reporters on the ground bring you stories of real people, helping you understand why distant events matter here at home. Listen to sources and methods on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Mike and Ian, and we have another classic episode of how to do everything, one from the U.S. archives. That'll explain the older references you may hear to shows like the the Facts of Life or Hogan's Heroes. We hope you enjoy it. How are you guys? I'm fine. Good. How do we pronounce your name? It's Arras,

like, you know, toys areas without all the toys. Yeah, that's the best way to get it to the Americans, you know. They get it perfectly each time. All right, so Aris is here with us on the line because he has a solution for that moment when you are struggling with a bag of chips. You can't open it. It's a terrible experience we've all been through. So Arras, you want to tell us your tip? Yeah, sure. Actually, it's quite an exotic solution, I think. See, I work for a company called Hit It and we do software for the airlines all over the world. So I was in Taiwan, of all places for a project. The thing is, the clients are there and I am there and I'm hungry and I'm trying to get a bag of lace open but it's one of those stubborn bags right so it

won't just open from the scene right and I'm a little bit concerned that I'm going to shower all the clients with the chips so as I was trying to do that silently at like the senior vice president guy old Taiwanese you know very formal sees me and he comes over and he just gets out to coins out of his pocket and he says hand it over to me and the thing is what he does is that he places these coins on the opposite side right along the seam on the back. So then he squeezes them with his thumps and he just makes a shearing

motion. He uses them like scissors. And they cut right through the back very cleanly. So basically what you're doing is you're taking two coins and putting them on either side of the seam there and then just sort of twisting it open as you normally would but the coins kind of

firm up your grip. Yeah, yeah. They cut right through the material. I've tried it quite a few times from that time, and it works every time, so it's like magic, yeah. Brilliant. That's great. And so now this guy was the vice president of this company you were meeting with? Yeah, he was a vice president office, this Taiwanese airline company called Trans Asia. Wow, so that, I mean, that he must, there's not a mistake that he was the vice president.

This is clearly a guy with ideas. Yeah, yeah, you know, practical solutions for common problems kind of guy. This is how to do you. do everything. I'm Ian. And I'm Mike. On today's show, How to Be Like Shrek. But first, Taft, what can we help you with? Well, I'm actually wanted to know, well, a little backstory here. I was listening to the radio the other day, and I had a, I heard a commercial, a commercial jingle, and I had stuck in my head all day, and I thought I should call you guys and ask, how do you compose a jingle? What is the jingle? Can you sing it for us?

Well, I'll perform it for you The best of my ability My favorite part of the jingle Is the very end When he says, today So it goes 800, 588 2,300 Empire

Today That was beautiful You like that? You can appreciate the fact that these guys know what they're doing That's a catchy jingle I don't know I gotta give credit to the guys who wrote that song

Because it certainly worked All right, so just to repeat Tell us your question again Well, how do you go, how do you compose a catchy jingle? I think, I think we can help you out. Okay, I appreciate it, guys. And I don't know if you heard, but I meant to ask you during this, too, but if you guys have any availability for interns to have it to help you out.

Okay. Sure, yeah, that's, there's a lot of competition for that position. Yeah, it's pretty rigorous. Can you lift over 40 pounds? I can lift more than 40 pounds over my head. All right, well, you know, we'll certainly consider your application. and, you know, when somebody from our office will get in touch with you shortly. Yeah, we'll get back to you, Taft.

All right. Take care, guys. Bye. Well, I think we have somebody who can help Taft out. Yeah, Barry Manilow. You've written more than a few jingles, right? I have. So what are some of the jingles that you've done? Well, there were loads of jingles back when I started doing that,

and that was in the 70s. But the ones that they still play are the State Farm, one, State Farm is there. Like a good neighbor, a state farm is there. And the other one that they play now and again is I am stuck on a Band-Aid. So those are the two that I wrote that they still play. But there were dozens more over the years and the three or four years that I was involved in it, from Kentucky Fried Chicken to Tropicana and a load of jingles that I had something to do with.

So you mentioned Band-Aid and State Farm, which are, you know, the classics. Is there one that you really thought was great that, you know, didn't catch on quite as much as those did? Well, here's what the deal is. I don't know whether they still work like this. What would happen is I would get a phone call from the agent who was representing the product. And they would say, well, for State Farm, they said they wanted a, a ballad. They wanted a pretty melody for this company, and then they would give you the lyric.

They would give you the hook line, which is State Farm, is there. And then they would give it the whole lyric, whenever you're driving, and wherever you're bound, and they would get down to like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. So I would put that on the piano, and I would try to come up with the catchiest melody I could, that would be memorable, and it would have to happen in 15 seconds. And I would submit mine, and 20 other guys would submit theirs, and whoever came up with the catchiest melody, would get the spot. Wow. So now, the question is, how do you write a catchy jingle? And the answer is, nobody knows. Nobody, because that's like I ask you, And asking, how do you write a song?

Nobody knows. John Lennon said, you know, try to make it rhyme and give it a backbeat, you know. You know, that's about as close as you could get, how to write a pop song. But as far as the jingle goes, you try to write the catchiest melody you can write that will work in 15 seconds. And those were really good days for me because it was the beginning of my pop music career. and it really helped me to focus in on writing catchy melodies. You know, Copacabana can't be any catchier. And, you know, I learned about that by having to write the catchiest melody in 15 seconds.

One story that I remember is that I went up for an American Airlines commercial, and it was pretty good but I ended it with I forget what the lyric was something special in the air and my melody went something special in the air and they said

you nearly got it but you can't go down on the melody on an airline commercial it has to go up so one of the other jingles that you wrote is for Kentucky Fried Chicken and that is a

that's another one kind of like State Farm, where there's almost a little story going on. Could you talk about the lyrics to that particular jingle? Well, I didn't write that one. I arranged it. I sang on it, but I didn't write that one. But, you know, that's another good example. The Kentucky Fried Chicken one was, how the heck did that go again? Oh, that was get a bucket of chicken finger-licking good. I mean, that is really a catchy melody.

and that that jingle started off right at the top of the hook there was no beginning to that to that jingle it just started

on the hook it didn't start off with you know when you're hungry or you know when your family it just started off bang get a bucket of chicken

that's almost a threat get a bucket of chicken So do you perform your jingles in concert? In the early days, when I began my performing career, and this was even before Mandy, I knew that I needed something for the audience to recognize because I had no, but my first album out, and there were no hits on that first album.

And in desperation, I put together a medley of all the jingles that I had done, And that, it went over, like, oh, my goodness, it was headlines in every review that I have done, you know, a medley of these shingles. And it was the hit song of my early show. There's barking in the kitchen, yelling in the hall, ringing at the doorbell, pounded on the wall. Kids out of sight, and kids in the way, no time to cook on this hectic day. Come on, come on, come on Come on

Get a bucket of chicken Think a licking good Have a barrel of fun Goodbye, ho-haw Stay a load of your family Come on everyone Get the fluffy fried chicken Have a barrel of fun

Just like packy act or what It's repertoire with yet another one Whenever you're driving and wherever you're by, on freeways and byways, the whole country rides, you'll feel better knowing anytime, anywhere, just like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Did you do bathroom bowl blues? I did. I'm sorry to say, yes. Well, Barry Maniloh, thank you so much for your time. I'm sure Taft is going to take this. And maybe if he has success, he'll bring back the era of jingles to commercial. Right, well, just tell him to ride a hook. Right, great hook in 15 seconds, and he's on his way. Hey, whatever question you might have, whether it's the kind of thing Barry Manilow could answer or not, get it to us at how-to at npr.org.

We promise there's no question too big or too Manilow-ish for us to solve. This message comes from Rince. Who knows that mastering the perfect house-party table spread takes time. But so does laundry. So rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door, expertly cleaned. And you can take the time once spent sorting and waiting, folding, and queuing, to finally pursue your real passion, rolling delicate roses of capacola alongside meandering ribbons of Amon Serrano, transforming a humble plank of weathered barnwood into a show-stopping charcuttery spread.

Rinse, it's time to be great. Support for this podcast comes from Dignity Memorial. For many families, remembering loved ones means honoring the details that made them unique. Dignity Memorial is dedicated to professionalism and compassion in every detail of a life celebration. Find a provider near you at DignityMemorial.com. Support for NPR and the following message come from the Kreske Foundation with Pathbreakers, a podcast about transforming communities through innovation, from revolutionizing higher education

to supporting artists who are driving change. Pathbreakers is available on podcast platforms. All right, we got an email from Tiernan. Now, Tiernan just got the role of Shrek in his high school musical. It's a big deal. Congratulations. Nicely done. Tiernan. And now, Tiernan is also a fan of Brian Darcy James,

who originated the role on Broadway. He played Shrek. He created it. you would say, if you were smart about this stuff. Now, what Tiernan doesn't know is that Brian Darcy James is here with us now, listening in. So we're just going to go right to Tiernan, and we'll bring in Brian in a minute. So, Tiernan, what questions do you have about playing the role of Shrek? Well, I've been getting, my character's been developing, but I wanted to find, I wanted to hear some advice on how to go beyond just saying the lines, particularly because he's

such an iconic character. How does he get past, you know, Shrek's Scottish accent and just sang the lines as opposed to finding the character like you would in a lot of other musicals? Yeah. And that's got to be kind of a strange thing because in a normal play, I imagine you're playing another person, a human being, but in Shrek, you're playing an ogre, which is maybe harder to relate to. Exactly. Tiernan, I think that's something we can help you with. Brian, are you, are you there? Hi, Tiernan. Hi.

How's it going, man? It's good. How's it going with you? It's going very well. I've been listening to what you've been saying. And Tiernan, you sound like you've had a lot of experience acting, and the way you talk about how you're approaching this is very impressive. In a lot of ways, I feel like just what you've been communicating and your mindset is really kind of perfectly ripe for, for this conversation or for your approach to playing any character, let alone this, this ogre.

Well, thank you very much. Well, hey, so, Brian, let's get to some of the things Tiernan was talking about. It is, you know, Shrek is a character that isn't a lot like who any of us are day to day. How do you start getting into that character? Well, obviously no one knows what it is to be an ogre, But we all know what it's like to feel alone, to feel scared, to feel isolated, to feel angry, to feel monstrous in a way in terms of how we perhaps show our emotions or release them. And I think, you know, you're in high school, right? It's a boarding school, it's a high school boarding school.

You know, I don't want to put words in your mouth or paint you with the wrong brush, but I know my experience in high school, and I think this is probably true with a lot of people, young adults at this age, isn't. incredible revelatory time for a person and oftentimes there's great there's great joy in that and there's also great pain in that uh in terms of finding oneself and finding where they belong and who they are and how they fit in and so i think you know now that i'm just saying it out loud i think this show is pretty amazing to consider to do for um a high school because the theme of finding oneself and figuring out who you are and what makes you proud about yourself and what makes you feel ashamed or things you need to work on or things you need to explore about yourself. This is a fantastic show for that, you know, letting your freak flag fly and all that.

It's a great anthem for just being who you are. Thank you so much. That's really good advice. I hope so. I don't know. I don't know that's true. Does Shrek have an accent in the musical? We talked a lot about that at the beginning. And Mike Myers, in fact, I heard a story that he didn't have an accent. He did a Canadian accent originally. And they were about three-quarters of the way through the making of the film.

And Mike Myers wanted to try, felt very important to try doing it in a Scottish accent, once again, to define his otherness, to make him something different than the rest of the sounds as well. as the sight of the character. So we followed suit with that, but having said that, I think, Tiernan, you can explore finding, you don't have to do a perfect Scottish accent by any means, but I do think it helps by, again,

that defining him as being something different. Tiernan, what is your Shrek voice like? You want to hear it? I just heard it. Just a little bit. That'll do, donkey. Nassal do. Wow. You're better than me.

I sounded Romanian about three months into the run. Well, I imagine, like, an ogre is a big guy, and neither, I don't, haven't seen either of you. Brian, I've seen you, but you're not a huge guy, right? No, no, not at all. I mean, well, I don't think I am. So what's the secret to playing, like, a big, burly, beastly ogre? I mean, you have to, physicality, you have to carry yourself differently, right? That's true.

Yeah. So, you know, you just kind of did it in just in creating your image in your head and that snapshot that you just kind of, the audio version of that, you'll find ways to find it in your voice. You'll find ways to find it in your walk. You'll find ways in just your, just, you know, I would explore Tiernan, just motion and what it takes to move. I had a I had a secret epiphany watching Joe Cocker once on a YouTube video I stumbled across this thing but he has the most incredibly unique movement patterns

when he sings and I thought that was pretty cool and I always secretly had that in my mind as a kind of a DNA for his movement so and that you know obviously I wasn't I wasn't walking or you know trying to be Joe Cocker

but find things that you can see that you relate to as being kind of lumbarsome and all those things. I'm sure you're already doing that. Tiernan, who's your Joe Cocker? Do you have one? I hadn't really thought about that yet, so now I'm going to have to go find one. It's an amalgam of images that I have, you know, I would always, when I was doing it, it's like, you know, if you're pregnant for the first time, all of a sudden, everyone you see in the world is pregnant, and you're just realizing it for the first time. I'm not pregnant, by the way, but

So what I'm trying to say is find little things that you see in others on campus or in books that can give you a visual foothold on it because I found that those things were always little touchstones for me to come back to just to check in on and make sure I was achieving what I had imagined. That's great for your friends too because you can be like, hey, I just want you to know you inspired your loneliness inspired my performance in Shrek. Yeah, a special note in the program. Thanks to Charles Feldman. He's very lonely, and it helped me.

Well, Brian, Tiernan, thank you both so much. Thank you very much. Bye, guys, thanks. Well, that does it for this week's show. What'd you learn, Ian? Well, I learned that Shrek originally had a Canadian accent. That's a different movie. Isn't it?

Yeah. Shrek has free health care. Yeah, I guess that's true. I mean, the trick always would be whether or not they have like ogre doctors that are there. Like, I don't know what the internal organs and like the skeletal structure of the ogre is like. No matter who you are, I think it doesn't feel good when you go to the doctor. And they're like, you know what? Maybe a veterinarian is right for you.

I certainly wouldn't want to hear that. Yeah. But it would get rid of my ringworm. How to do everything? is produced by Blythe Hagea with technical direction from Lorna White. Our intern this week is Liz Wildenberg. Nice job, Liz. Who's Liz? She's a friend of mine.

Get us your questions at how-to-npr.org. And check out our website at how-to-do-everything.org. I'm Shrek. I'm Shrek. Thanks. Thanks. Okay. That was awesome.

At what point in Broadway training do you learn to burp on command? Well, it's a different class than the farting, but it's very early on.