How To Fail With Elizabeth Day - ON REJECTION… With Mel B and Nicole Scherzinger

Episode Date: November 24, 2025

We all face rejection, no matter who we are. In this episode we revisit conversations with two extraordinary women who have faced rejection and overcome it: Spice Girl Mel B opens up about her unsuccessful audition for The Sound of Music and the pain of feeling like she didn’t fit the mould because of how she looked while Nicole shares what life was like before the Pussycat Dolls - the endless auditions, doors slammed-shut and the struggle to land her big break. Hearing these stories from women who have gone on to achieve so much is a powerful reminder that feelings of doubt and fears around not being ‘enough’ are universal. But as Mel and Nicole remind us, the true test of character is in how we respond to them. Listen to Mel B’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/MelB Listen to Nicole Scherzinger’s full episode of How to Fail here: swap.fm/l/NicoleScherzinger 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/ Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @howtofailpod @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod @elizabday Website: www.elizabethday.org Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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IKEA, bring home to life. is something that every single one of us will have faced. And as it turns out, even global superstars aren't immune. Take Spice Girl Melby. Before the fame, she was just a young girl auditioning for the sound of music and failing to land a spot as one of the Von Traps. But it was in that moment, with her parents' encouragement, that she learned the work ethic that would later define her success. And then there's Nicole Scherzinger. You might imagine she's seamlessly let into stardom with the pussycat dolls, but her path was far from smooth. Nicole talks about dropping out of college to tour with a band called pop stars,

facing rejection after rejection before her big break finally came. Because even the most successful women in the world have heard no more times than you'd think, and what makes them extraordinary is how they turned those rejections into resilience. Here's Mel B. Let's get on to your first failure because it's sort of linked to what we've just been discussing, which is a failed audition for being a von Trappchild in a production of the sound of music. Yeah, I remember this very, very well. I got raised in a household, my dad's black from the West Indies, from Nevis,

my mum's white, born and raised up north in Leeds. So they're a mixed couple, which back in those days, there was a lot of stigma attached to that. there was a lot of NF National Fronts. For example, my mum used to have to hand me to my dad on the bus so that he wouldn't get beaten up for being black and black with a white woman. So I got brought up with a very, a very even outlook.

I'm not black, I'm not white, I'm mixed. And I love that because I had friends before at school that were mixed. And I couldn't understand why they just call themselves black or just call themselves just white. I'd be like, but you're mixed. That's your mum and your dad. You've got the best of both worlds.

Just quickly, what do you think of the term biracial? I don't get it. Okay. I don't get it and I don't appreciate it. Good to know. Because some people hate being called mixed. It used to really annoy me that. When I used to fill out the passport form, it would be black, white or other.

Now it's black, white, mixed with this, mix with that, this and that. And I think, no, I'm just mixed. And I'm proud of that. So my mother got me into dance class. It was like tempi for me to go. for an hour, I think it was like three times a week. And because I had lots of energy, my mum was like, oh, God, give me a break.

She's come on from school. She's done her homework. I'll put her in dance class down the street. So I became obsessed with just performing. And so there was an audition that a few of my friends were going to, and it was for the Von Track family. And my mum, in a very, very mum way, tried to explain, you know, you're not going to get it

because you're not white with blonde hair and blue eyes. Not that she said that. And I blocked that out anyway. I was like, no, it's an audition because once they see me, they're going to want me to be part of the stage performance. Finally, she got in the car and drove me and still on the journey there. She's like, Melanie, are you sure you want to do this? Because, you know, and I was like, I am adamant.

I am going to go to that audition. I'm going to nail it and I'm going to get the job. Anyway, I didn't get the job because it was far easier back in those days to say, oh, you do this, you're to that. Now we can't be as direct and rightly so. but that just goes to show that even though I knew it deep down I didn't care

I still wanted to make sure that I went there so they could see me perform regardless of my colour So many things strike me about this story One is your incredible work ethic And that's something that I feel Like you've always had

Yeah my mum and dad had that You will just prove yourself Yeah Again and again and again Yeah Where do you think that work ethic came from for your mum and your dad Different places I imagine

Well my dad came to England I think when he was was he nine? His grandmother looked after him in Nevis and that was quite common back in those days. So when he came over, he didn't really know his parents,

didn't really fit in in school. So he learnt how to weld copper because back in those days, if you learn a trade, you're set for life, really. You'll always have a job. So I was raised with my dad doing one week of morning shifts,

one week of afternoon shifts, one week of night shifts. And it was a routine. And my dad never missed a day no matter, hail, rain or snow. and he used to ride his bike to work. My mum took on an extra job because of the 10 p a week dance classes

and stuff like that and costumes that she would handmake. So I've always known if you, you've got to rely on yourself, you can't rely on anybody else, you've got to make your own money. The other thing that strikes me about it is that you do not complain.

No. You get on with it and you don't moan. No. Which is many things. It's quite northern, just to like generalise horribly. I was going to say, I think it is quite northern. It's quite showbiz, like the show must go on. I don't know.

There's some celebrities that mourn about everything. Yes. You're not one of them. I mean, it's two schools. Today I'm not. Who are they? Name them. No, I can.

Jerry Halliwell. No, I'm joking. But there are moments in Brutely Honest where you do talk about the fact that the National Front was a presence that you got called horrible names at school. Yeah. You did get bullied, but what was your response?

Well, my mum and dad used to say, for a start, fight your own battles, even though you've been chased all the way from school to the house, which was, God, about a good 25-minute run, because back then they didn't know what to call me. Did they call me half-breed? Do they call me the N-word?

And I'd be like, I'm mixed, and then I'd run away because I was trying to get me. But I fought my own battles. So when you got rejected for the Vonchap family, I just went, whatever, it's their loss. But I was inside, I was crushed. But I went to a lot of auditions. And I'm thankful for that time

because literally at an audition back in those days, you'd get told, no, too thin, too fat, too dark, too light. It would be that brutal. So you'd go, oh, okay then. Well, I'm not going to have an eating disorder because I like my bootie. I'm just going to go to another audition. Those rejections taught you a lot about resilience.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's you. If you ask anybody from back in those days when they were auditioning, they would all have like rhino skin, hard skin. It is a northern thing. You just pick yourself up and just keep going. Were the other spice girls like that?

Melcy. Melcy very much. I think we all were in our own individual ways because we were like the rejects out of all of our different groups of friends. So coming together, you know, that's why we were so strong and we felt such a connection. because we were all not hard done by, but we didn't really fit in anywhere,

but yet we fitted together, even though we were all completely different looking and from completely different backgrounds, really. But, I mean, when I think about it, Jerry's mum, I mean, she was a cleaner. Her dad was a car salesman. Victoria's slightly different because she got driven to school in a Rolls-Royce,

but she still had to work hard. You know, Mel C., single parent, got brought up in Liverpool. So we've all had our, like, not-perienced, family lives, if you want to call it that. And you became your chosen family in a way for each other. Yeah. And we went through something so special that only the five of us really can know what that feels like.

Because to have such a whirlwind and have so many doors closed, like in our face, Gilband's not going to work. We're like, well, why not? Well, surrounded by boy bands, right? We get it. But why isn't this going to work? So we're going to knock on another door and another door and another door until we find somebody. That believed in us.

You know, there are so many incredible Spice Girls' tracks, but my personal favourite is holler, which I think is quite underrated. I loved it. How we used to write is we'd all come in with some kind of a topic or a theme, but it was always driven by one of our situations or the fact that we didn't want to be picked on anymore, so we have to make sure it's clear that we are girls supporting girls.

And not where it goes too much into the fantasy world. It's genuinely us five because we really like each other. Yes. That's so great. And you're also so good about putting it out into the universe the fact that you want a spice girl's reunion to happen. I always say it and it will. Okay, good. It will. No, we are actually in talks all five of us, but I can't say what for. Let's get on to your first failure. Yay! Yay! Because we're here to celebrate vulnerability and authenticity. And that's how we learn and grow and evolve. Exactly. Your first failure is to do with the struggles that got you, where you are today? I remember, I think it was around 2008. I was in New York City, and I was with my manager at the time, and I had worked so hard

on this demo and this portfolio with pictures, and I even did my own music video and songs that I recorded and original songs that I recorded. I was shopping it around, determined to get a solo deal. I went around to every record label, and during that day, it was the actual blackout, the big blackout that happened in New York City. And there I was in Eresta, top of this building, blackout happens, the execs running around. I'm singing my song, Acapella, in the dark. And he's like, keep going. And he's like grabbing his stuff freaking out.

And then he just bolts out of the door and goes down the fire escape, as you do in New York City. and that was my last, and then my audition, couldn't cut a break. No one would pick me up, and I was really down about that. But what was great is that I still had that portfolio, so when I had heard about the Pussycat Dolls audition, I was fully equipped to give them my music and everything, and the rest was history. So that happened with PCD, I don't think people realize is that,

a long time before the pussycat dolls, I was first in a group called Pop Stars. First, I was in an actual rock group, acoustic rock group signed to Geffen Records called Days of the New and we toured with like foo fighters and bush and everything. Then I was in pop stars, and then I was trying to go solo, and that led me to the dolls. People don't realize. People don't realize. the journey. Yeah, all the doors closed. Yes, because you dropped out of college to tour with that rock band as well, didn't you? Yes, I did.

And then Pop Stars was the reality TV show, and you formed Eden's crush off the back of that. Yes. And I didn't know either. So I'm really glad that you've shared that story. The idea of doing an audition in a citywide blackout. In a blackout. And then having to pick yourself up and try again. You keep trying and keep, I just, yeah, when you have, you have to believe, you have to have that vision and you just can't let go of it.

Because if you could see it, if you could dream it, then it could happen. And so I just never let up. And then the dolls came along that audition. And what's cool is that I never imagined that's how it would get my first break. And I actually signed a solo deal the same day as I signed the dolls deal. Wow. So it's, I'm just saying things come in different boxes, not when you expect them, right? Like, for me, I'm very spiritual.

So I like to say that God has bigger plans and a bigger imagination than we could ever. We actually limit ourselves with how we think. So sometimes we think like, okay, I want to go this way. And it's like, no, you're actually aligned and meant to go that way. And that's going to get you to go back that way. Does that make any sense? It makes total sense. And I'm a big believer of it as well, the things that haven't worked out for me,

personally, I strive to try and learn the meaning behind that and the purpose that might be disguised within that struggle. Like things aren't happening. One of my favorite lines is it's not happening to me, it's happening for me. I want to talk a little bit about your work ethic because what listeners to this podcast might not appreciate is that you turned up with notes that you had made pages and pages, yellow, full-scap notes that you had made in preparation for this podcast. I'm so appreciative of that, and I recognize that quality in myself. And again, I think maybe a lot of women.

Yeah, I can see that as you're like reminding me of my own career in my track record. I'm like, wow, she knows more about myself than I do. But I think a lot of women, or maybe marginalized people in some way, feel that they need to over-prepared in order to be able to show up, in order to be able not to be able to be underestimated by mainstream culture. And I want to ask you a bit about that, but I also just want to go back to your childhood. How much do you think your work ethic is shaped by how you grew up? Because you didn't have a lot of money growing up. So were you always aware of the need to work, to make a living? Absolutely. When you grow up not having any money and your family

struggling. It's kind of embarrassing. It's really embarrassing. Then as you get older, I thank God every day that I came from nothing because it's what made me. It's what shaped me. It didn't break me. It made me. What doesn't break you makes you. And it's built me to who I am today. And I do have that very strong work ethic because of it, that insatiable work ethic. That insatiable work I think it runs in my blood as well, my Hawaiian, Ukrainian, Filipino blood. It runs in our blood. But I'm super grateful for it because I don't take anything for granted. And I always feel like I'm always striving for excellence and greatness.

I think it could drive some of the people who work around me crazy because I'm like, it could always be better. I still tell Jamie, I can do better. I know I can do better. I just always want to strive for greatness and excellence. I feel like I'm not making it count and I'm wasting my time here of what I'm supposed to truly be doing.

Does that manifest itself in your romantic relationship? I think so. I think sometimes it could be unhealthy in that way when not only in a romantic relationship but also with the relationship with yourself where you work too much that you're not able to celebrate those wins and those victories and just truly be present

and be happy and be in all. and enjoy those moments, you know. There was this quote I read that made me sad about, I think one of your first parts that you got age 14 was the lead in Alice in Wonderland. And you had said, I couldn't believe that I got this part because I was up against a blonde girl with blue eyes. Is that a feeling that has stayed with you, that a feeling of not looking the part or not.

being some way that someone else is. Well, I think that's what's so beautiful now of where we've progressed into this day and age, you know. I'm playing Norma Desmond. You know, people might have not. I think I saw Leah Solonga and I started it the other days that three Filipinos are now leading, unleading roles on the West End. Like, it's never been like that in history, you know.

So we've come a long way. since then. Back then, yeah, that was unheard of. But my teacher, Miss Mateus, was so radical in the way that she thought, and she just defied, she broke all the rules, and she didn't care. And she looked at me, and she's like, that's Alice in Wonderland. And that was many moons ago. I mean, gosh, I'm 45 now. That was what, 26 years ago. I mean, so kudos for her for being so forward thinking and giving me that opportunity. But yes, the fact of the matter was, but back then it was like that. You know, I was like a little brownie.

I didn't look like everybody else in Louisville, Kentucky growing up. But that's what the blessing was, is that it makes me so unique today, you know. And at the time, what were your parents thinking of your ambition and your vision to be? They just let me go. They knew when I was like six years old and I heard the greatest love of all, Whitney Houston was like the voice of God to me and I just, they knew that I had my own ambitions. I was always had this dream and vision and they just supported me. Like I said, we didn't come from much. So it's not like they're like, go and be a doctor or a lawyer.

They're like, wow, you're taking the wheel. Please do follow How to Fail to get new episodes as they land on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts, please tell all your friends. This is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment original podcast. Thank you so much for listening.