How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - 11 Pickup Lines That Are Classy, Not Creepy—Say These to Any Woman, Anywhere

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

You see an incredible woman you want to talk to, but you’re not sure what to say—and the pickup lines you’ve heard sound cheesy or creepy. On this episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach Connell Barrett gives you 11 natural, non-cringe opening lines you can say to any woman. Get ready to break the ice in charming, genuine ways, and start getting dates.HIRE CONNELL TO TEACH YOU HOW TO APPROACH AND DATE INCREDIBLE WOMEN. BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION: DatingTransformation.comGET A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”: Email: [e-mail] (Write “Free Book” in Subject Line)

Hey, quick question for you guys. Should I start an only fans? Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend Podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, and author, Connell Barrett. I'm here to help you flirt with authenticity, playfulness. Always know what to say. Get more dates and get a great girlfriend. And today I want to talk to you about one of my favorite subjects,

which is what to say when you break the ice with a woman in real life. In other words, when you approach in life. the wild. Specifically, the phrase that is very controversial is pickup lines. Pickup lines have a very spotty reputation. When I say to you pick up lines, what do you think of? You probably think of pickup artists who are saying tactical, tricky things, you know, like negs. Like in the book the game, what's a neg? A neg is when you try to lower a woman's self-esteem by saying something like, oh, hey, I like your smile. I think crooked teeth are cute. So there's like a gross tactical way to do a quote pickup line. And then when I think pickup lines, I think

cheesy, cheesy lines. Like, like, hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10, I see. The thing about pickup lines, though, there's a couple of things I want to tell you today. First, there are some really good ways to break the ice with women in a very, you can say this to any woman kind of way. Let's call it a copy and paste opener. So I'm going to give you 11 copy and paste pickup lines today for men who hate pickup lines that are natural, or at least sound natural. Because when you start a conversation with a woman, you don't want her rolling. her eyes at you. You want her eyes to be sparkling and shining. And the best way to do that is to start a conversation in a very organic, natural way. Now, by virtue of the fact that these are pre-scripted,

planned, quote, pickup lines, that is not organic. Let's be honest. So I want to give you some 11 quote-unquote pickup lines that do feel and sound organic to women, natural. Because the truth is not knowing what to say and not knowing how to start a conversation, that's one of the biggest flirting struggles that men have, biggest conversational struggles men have. So I'm going to give you 11 pickup lines in just a minute. First, I want to talk to you about a myth. Some people still think that a pickup line is the most important part of an approach. Those first words, what do I say when I approach that pickup line? pickup line, that opening line, the first thing you say, it's not the most important thing.

The most important thing you say is the second thing and the third thing and the fourth thing and having a present, authentic, genuine conversation with a woman. That is what can get you that phone number and date in a few minutes of conversation. A woman is never going to give you her number and date you based on your opening line. That's not the purpose of the opening line. The purpose of the opening line, let's call it the pickup line, is to just start a conversation that can allow your and her chemistry to naturally spark. So that opening line is not going to get you the date. It will get you in a conversation, and that's the goal.

The goal is to get into a conversation. It's just about starting a conversation. Now, I think a lot of men still might think, oh, well, I need the perfect, I need the purpose. perfect line to create romantic attraction. No, you don't. You want a line to start a conversation, to help you get comfortable and to have a nice, present, light conversation with a woman. What creates attraction in a woman and a man is not exactly what you say. It's how you're saying it. It's your confidence. It's your light conversational ability. That combined with you, being in her realm of types.

Okay? So that I'm not going to bullshit you and pretend like these 11 pickup lines will instantly get a woman into you. I would be lying to you if I said that. There's no such thing as an opening line that instantly makes a woman attractive. Here's a quick story. I remember I saw a gorgeous woman in Whole Foods one cold January day many years ago. And I had the best line.

It just came to me in the moment. I was approaching a lot. I wasn't a coach at the time. but I was getting my reps, getting my 10,000 hours of approaching, and I was getting pretty good at it. And I saw this woman in the frozen food section on a cold January day in Whole Foods on Houston Street here in Manhattan. And she had this fuzzy winter coat with like the white fringe over her head. And she looked like the cover of the J-Crew Winter Catalog. That's what entered my mind.

And I said to myself, that's pretty good. I walk over to her and I said, hey, excuse me, you look like the cover of the J. Crew Winter Catalog. Amazing style. And she lit up and smiled. Her name is Nikki. Conversation went great. We chatted about Christmas and the holidays had just come and gone. And on our first date, a couple nights later, I said, I was fishing for a compliment. And I said, so what was it you liked about me when I came up to you? And I was thinking and hoping my ego. was thinking, oh, she must have liked how I said that cool, witty line about looking like a winter J-Crew catalog.

And she said, oh, I just liked that you stood up straight and looked me in the eye. That's, I found that so attractive. And I said, oh, but what about the J-Crew line? She said, oh, yeah. Oh, gosh, I forgot all about that. Okay, yeah, that was fine. But I just liked that you look me in the eye. So she didn't even remember my line.

And bottom line is a pickup line is just a conversation starter. It's about, it's really about doing two things. That pickup line is about opening the door to a conversation, because that's the only way to get a number and get a date. You have to have a conversation with her for at least a couple of minutes. And it's also about showing your romantic interest or creating a context of romance, or at least light flirtation. So we want a good, a really good quote unquote pickup line.

It's about clear intention, clear romantic intention, or at least a light romantic vibe combined with just starting a conversation. And before I get to these 11, one size fits most lines that you can say to any woman out in the real world, here's one more story. I want to show you how simple an opening line can be. A different girl, different day. I'm at Barnes & Noble, and I used to approach a lot of women at bookstores because I'm a reader and a writer and just a very bookish dude.

And there was a woman, turns out her name is Lane. She was standing looking at some cards, greeting cards, holiday cards, at Barnes and Noble. She was just really cute. So I just went with clear intention. I walked over to her and I said, hey, you're really cute. and I wanted to meet you. And she smiled and looked at me and said, you're very cute too.

So simple. No fancy line. No fancy line. No incredibly witty thing I said or did. We just found each other attractive. And a few nights later, two or three nights later, again, I was on my first date with Lane. And but the thing I remember about Lane is later that day.

So we chat for five, ten minutes. I get her number. start texting. And later that day, she texted me, quote, thank you for picking me up. She actually used the phrase picking me up. And that's the other thing I want to say to you, there's nothing wrong with approaching a woman. In fact, I think there's something very, very right about approaching a woman. Lots of women love when men come up and shoot their shot. Fewer men do it now than ever before. And so women, tend to really appreciate it when a guy shows interest, as long as he keeps it G-rated,

innocent, and also light and clear. Okay? So if you want me to give you my favorite quote-unquote pickup line, well, the best way to do a opening pickup line is to be present in the moment, is to find something organically that you genuinely authentically think and feel. When I saw Nikki, I said, oh my God, I love her winter outfit. She looks like J-Crew Catalog. Boom.

I went with that. When I saw Lane, I said, wow, she's really cute. I went with that. Another woman, Rebecca, also at Barnes & Noble, same bookstore. Here's one. I'm going to actually get into the list here in a second. I saw her and I noticed her cheekbones. She had very sculpted, lovely cheekbones.

Now, normally I'm not going to lead with a woman's body parts because that can come off as a little bit, well, that can come off as objectifying a woman and making it too much about her physical appearance, which does turn some women off. But I think I discovered a little bit of a cheat code because no guys compliment a woman's cheekbones. So, again, I'm just literally speaking my authentic thoughts, just being genuine. And I saw this woman. I said, hey, I just saw you from across the bookstore here or the room, your cheekbones drew me in like tractor beams. She smiled. Clear romantic interest, right?

She knew exactly why I was there. I wasn't hiding it. And she liked it. And again, we chatted. We talked. She was on my rooftop either that night or the next night. And we were having a couple glasses of wine on my roof. And all I did was say, hey, I like your cheekbones. They drew me in like tractor beams.

So the best opening line, I think, is going to be something that is honest in the moment and you commit to it, whatever it is. And it doesn't have to be romantic. It can be playful. It can be light. It can be genuine. But anyway, I just wanted to give you a couple of those stories. And last quick story before I get to my 11 openers, my 11 copy and paste openers that you can say to any woman anywhere. As I'm recording this on a Tuesday, yesterday, I had a great audio message from my client, Daniel. Daniel is he lives in New York City, but he kind of bobs back and forth between New York City and Europe. But anyway, he's living in New York City right now. And he sent me an audio message.

And he has been approaching girls. And he gave me a great success story. Now, he didn't get the number, but he approached a woman over this last weekend. And he said, hey, coach, it was amazing. I approached this woman. I was so grounded. I was so sort of just myself. And I said, I want to meet you. And she said, hey, I got to be honest with you. She smiled when she said it. I have a boyfriend. And he's like, that's cool. I'm still allowed. I'm talking to you. It's all right. We can just talk here. All good. They talk for two or three minutes. And he was just so grounded, Daniel was, in the sound of his voice as he left me this note. this voice note and then she said to him according to him she said keep doing this women really like it what you're doing keep it up you're doing this right she was basically saying look i'm taken but wow this is attractive she was basically saying i kind of wish i wasn't taken

um and i just loved the grounded confident voice that i heard in that audio message from daniel my first consultation call with him months ago, he was just like, I can't talk to girls. Nobody likes me. I'm 5'8. I don't have a six-pack. I'm shy. Women don't want me. And now he's just rolling up to women being confident. He is getting numbers and dates. He didn't with that young woman, but she said, keep it up. We like it. So there's a little mindset bonus tip for you. If you think it's creepy and weird to approach a woman, man, it's not. Not if you do it with a lot of presence and authenticity and confidence in yourself. Okay, here we go. Let me give you, in no particular order, 11 of my favorite things you can say to any woman anywhere in the real world. These can work anywhere. So if you really want that backpocket topic, that back pocket opener, that back pocket pickup line, here we go. If you're just not sure what to say and you want to approach a woman, here's a good pickup line. You can say this to any woman. Say, you look like you're showing off.

You're going to deliver that in such a confident, playful way. And you're going to make her think, oh, what makes them think that I'm showing off? And she's going to say, what do you mean? What do you mean I'm showing off? And you could just say something like, you know, you're just your vibe. You just seem like you're showing off like you own the place. that's a great way to start a conversation with a woman anywhere. It's really hard to mess that up.

You just have to deliver it with some belief. I said something similar to a woman once. She was walking next to me in Madison Square Park here in Manhattan, and she was wearing sunglasses. She had this posture, tall, tall girl walking with a real swagger. and I turned to my right and I said, you look like you're showing off. You look like you own the place. And she said, I do own the place. I own this park. I'm the mayor. It became very fun and bantery. And 10 minutes later, she and I were on a smoothie date, literally instant date. We went and had smoothies together.

Didn't go anywhere. We had one date and it was pretty much it. But man, what an incredible feeling to just be talking to a woman or to seeing the woman next to you. and five, ten minutes later, you're on a smoothie date. So give that one a try. Here's a good pickup line if you just don't know what to say to women. But you don't want to use a cringy, creepy pickup line, but you want to say something. Say this, anywhere to a woman. You can say, it's almost rude how you make everyone else here look underdressed. What a great way to convey.

She has great style. She's attractive, but you're not objectified. her and making it about her body. My client, Ray, used that recently with a woman at a bar, and she blushed and said, thank you. I really work hard on how I look. She lit up and smiled and soon they were talking. So give that one a try.

That's a great one-size-fits-all pickup line that doesn't feel like a cringy pickup line. Okay, here's the next one. This might be my favorite raw, real, genuine. pickup line that doesn't feel like a pickup line. It's almost an anti-pickup line. Here it is. You walk up and say, I hate pickup lines. So I'm just going to say, hi, I'm John, or whatever your name is. There's something so distilled and raw and real about that. It cuts through the bullshit of playing games and using cheesy lines. And women just love this direct approach when you really own it like that. So give that a try.

my client, Winston used that recently in a park. He's a no bullshit guy. He doesn't want to do a whole lot of banter. He doesn't want to do a song and dance. He just wants to say what he means. And he approached a woman in the park recently and just said, hey, I'm Winston. I don't have a pickup line other than my first name. And she thanked him. Not only did she decide to give him her number. She was like, thank you. You made my day. And that's what you're going to find out. When you start meeting women in real life, you're going to find out so many women are appreciative that you're taking the chance to compliment them, to give them that little icebreaker. Let me do a quick pause here and say, I don't know if you know this or not, but, well, I'm a dating

coach. And the thing that I help men with more than anything else is knowing what to say, knowing how to approach and doing it confidently. The thing that changed my dating life more than anything else was way back in 2009 is I signed up with the very first coach who ever helped me, and he helped me begin to learn how to approach women and what to say and how to communicate and connect with women in real life. So if you would like to learn how to approach women and do it confidently, know what to say at the gym or know how to.

to grab a girl's number at a bar and make her giggle and laugh. If you want your friends to see you approach women and get the number and say, dude, how did you do that? That's what I do for my job. So you can go to my website, datingtransformation.com. And you can book a free call with me slash my team and learn how my coaching works. So do that if that interests you. Now, not everybody wants coaching. That's cool. Most guys will never hire a dating coach. So if you would like the second best thing I can give you, it's free, shoot me an email, Connell at datingtransformation.com, that's C-O-N-N-E-L at datingtransformation.com. And subject free book. And I will email you a PDF of my book, dating sucks, but you don't, which is all about how to flirt, how to approach, how to get a

great girlfriend and do it authentically. And there's two really good chapters about approaching in the book in addition to lots of online dating tips and flirting tips and basically every single dating problem you have ever struggled with. My book helps you solve it. So feel free to email me if you want a free copy of my book. Okay, here's a really good opening pickup line that I once said to a woman at Barnes & Noble. It worked great and it's worked great for my clients. You say, your cheekbones drew me over here like tractor beams. So here I am. I love this one because I'm not a fan of approaching a woman and making it about her body parts.

I don't want to objectify a woman and make it about her smile, her eyes, her amazing body. That's creepy. But her cheekbones, there's something classy about saying, hey, your cheekbones drew me in like tractor beams. And I thought, hey, that just worked for Connell. Will this work for regular guys? A lot of my clients have used it as well. So feel free to do your cheekbones, drew me over like tractor beams. It's a bit of a pattern interrupt.

Women are not used to hearing that. They're used to hearing your smile's amazing. Your eyes are stunning. You're hot. You're gorgeous. And there's something about complimenting her cheekbones that is specific to her, but also something she hasn't heard before. But classy.

It's not about her measurements. It's about her lovely cheekbones. Here's a really good pickup line. If you just don't know what to say to women and you're an introverted, shy guy, then say this. Excuse me. I'm actually pretty shy. But I knew I'd forget. Oh, let me start that again.

I can't remember my own pickup line. Here we go. Here's a really good pickup line to use. if you just don't know what to say and you're a shy introverted guy, say this to any woman anywhere. Hey, excuse me, I'm actually pretty shy, but I knew I'd regret it if I didn't come, say hi. And then give her your name. That's vulnerable. You're using your vulnerability and shyness as a superpower.

And that's really powerful. The first time I ever did this, I was in a rooftop bar early in my approaching days. and I was just so nervous because I'm a natural introvert. And my wingman saw me looking at a woman, this woman in a silver dress, and he saw me. And I'm like, what do I say to her? He said, well, and he was way more experience than I was. He said, what's the deepest thing you're thinking and feeling right now? And I said, oh, that I'm shy and I want to meet her, but I'm nervous.

He's like, cool, use that. Use that as your pickup line. So I walked over and said, hey, excuse me, I'm really shy, but I had to meet you. Hi, I'm Connell. And she cocked her head a little bit and looked at me and smiled and said, yeah, right, you're real shy. Hi, I'm Amy. She was into it. She put her hand out to shake my hand.

And it blew my mind that she didn't think it was honest, even though it was 100% honest. And by aligning my words and my actions with whatever. I was thinking and feeling. It's almost like that just kind of clicked me into alignment, into focus. And all of a sudden, I came off as confident. She thought I was a confident guy using a line. I was actually a scared shitless guy saying the real truth. And that actually made me seem confident. So give that one a go. It's great if you're a shy introvert guy. If you want a really good pickup line that doesn't creep women out, say this anywhere to any woman out in the real world. Excuse me. I'm in a really good mood today and I wanted to share it with somebody interesting and say your name.

There's something so powerful about making your opening line, your quote unquote pickup line, not about what you're trying to get, but what you're trying to give. No guys do this. Most men are making it about give me your number, give me your attraction, give me your validation. You're saying, I'm in a good mood and I want to share it with you. So give this one a try. really well. And I tried this one in Miami the first time. I was working with this coach who was helping me get over my approaching issues. And I said, I remember the exact words. I'm on Lincoln Road. See this stunning woman, classy, well dressed during the daytime. And I said, hey, I just saw you. I'm in a really good mood today. And I had to share it with somebody interesting. And she lit up like I was Ryan Gosling handing her a winning lottery ticket.

And then I proceeded to screw it up. I spent the next two minutes doing gamey pickup artist bullshit. Neg here. Harsh tease there. Demonstrate higher value. All this crap for two minutes. I was way too gamey and try hard. And I could see her attraction fade. But the opening pickup line, call it a pickup line, the opening line worked amazing. And it worked because I wasn't trying to take anything from her. I was just trying to give. So use the opening line and then let go of all flirting moves. Once that pickup line hooks a woman's interest in talking to you, forget every

frickin tip you've ever heard and just get present in the moment. be spontaneous in the moment with her. You are enough as you are, just having a conversation, okay? If you want to use a really good pickup line out in the real world, this one is funny, and it's not creepy or cringy. You walk up and say, hey, if you were on a dating app, I would totally match with you. So help me out. Where do I swipe?

I love this one because it's self-aware and it calls out the obviousness of people just don't approach that much in real life anymore because of Tinder. And so you're mapping onto a real-life approach, the idea of swiping right. It's really charming. It works really good in the daytime. Give that pickup line a try because it's a pickup line that's not creepy. It's actually really playful and charming. Here's a really good one. If you want a pickup line that works great at night, that is funny and not creepy, walk up to a random woman or two or three.

And if they're in a group and say, hey, quick question for you guys, should I start an onlyfans? It's so stupid and silly. And obviously, a guy starting in only fans is absurd. And you'll start the approach with a pickup line that makes her laugh. And that's the most important thing. If you start an interaction with a laugh, boom, you're halfway home to getting a number and getting a date. All right, we've got a couple more to go to. If you want a good pickup line that you can say to pretty much any woman at night, go with this.

Hi, I want to take you out to dinner. I happen to know the matrily at Burger King. You have to deliver it with a sly commitment to it. Make her think you're offering dinner. And then the Burger King is the joke at the end. I was at a rooftop bar once and I walked up and I said, hey, I just saw you and I want to take you out to dinner. She said, really? I said, yeah, I know the matriety at Burger King.

Only the finest for you. And she busted out laughing. We had a great conversation. I got her number and we ended up going on a date. Not to Burger King for the record. So give that one to try. Here's a really good pick-up line. If you're not sure what to say to women.

out in the real world, you walk up and say, hey, I've got a tip for your Tinder. Pause, delete it, and go out with me. Now, this is a little bit cheesy, and it's clearly scripted and planned, but it's surprising and it's pretty clever. And it also just calls out the fact that, hey, everybody's on the dating apps. And this is you taking a chance in real life. Give it a shot. Here's a really good one.

I'll end with this one. If you want to use a pickup line that is not creepy or cringy, it's a little bit cheesy, but not creepy. Go with this. Walk up to a woman and say, hey, would you mind holding this for me while I take a walk in the park and then put your hand out? Obviously, you need to say this one in the daytime. And it is the perfect blend of a little bit cheesy, which a lot of women like that lightness I talked

about and also clear intention. The thing about a pickup line, what makes it work is that clear romantic interest combined with lightness, not sexual creepiness. So give the, would you mind holding my hand pickup line a try? Okay, thank you so much for listening. Again, remember, the best quote-unquote pickup line, it's not going to be scripted and planned. It's going to be something genuine in the moment. Hi. Your style's amazing. It's nice to see that pretty girls still read books. I wanted to meet you. I'm nervous, but I had to say hi. What kind of coffee are you drinking? Almost anything can work.

As long as you commit to it and as long as you are bringing your authentic personality, to the interaction. That's what women are buying into, not those opening lines. That said, if you can make her laugh or if you have a really good opening line that you can commit to that gets you into a conversation, use a pickup line as long as you're being authentic. And that's what women want. All right. Until next time.