How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - 5 Ways to Be More FUN with Women and Escape the Friend Zone

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

If you’re like most single guys, you’re not sure how to be fun on your dates or when talking with women you’re into. What do you say? How do you make her laugh? What if you seem boring and she loses interest? Sadly, if your date or conversation is dull, she won’t be attracted to you—and you’ll be missing out on romance.So let’s amp up the fun factor.In this episode of the Dating Transformation podcast, dating coach Connell Barrett shares 5 tools you can use to make your dates and conversations WAY more fun. Also, he’ll give you his No. 1 favorite game to play on a date, and it’s sure to get you both laughing and having a blast.It’s time you STOP hearing women say “I just didn’t feel a spark” and START hearing them say, “Last night was fun! When can we go out again?” Listen now, because Cyndi Lauper was right: “Girls just wanna have fun.”FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL, TO LEARN HOW TO ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO WOMEN: http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactGET CONNELL’S NO. 1 BESTSELLING GUIDE FOR MEN, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T,” YOUR PRACTICAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND BY BEING RADICALLY AUTHENTIC:www.amazon.com/Dating-Sucks-but-You-Dont-ebook/dp/B08LDZL3Quotes"Cyndi Lauper was right: Girls just wanna have fun. If she has fun with you on a date, she'll want to see you again."- Connell BarrettFeatured in the episodeConnell BarrettFounder and Executive Coach of Dating TransformationWebsite: https://datingtransformation.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformationChapters00:00 - Introduction01:45 - Creating Laughter and Fun for Unforgettable Moments03:35 - Mastering the Art of Making Dates More Enjoyable08:13 - Success Through a Playful Approach12:25 - Focusing on Positivity and Meaningful Conversations14:34 - Unlocking Romance Through Emotions and Passions18:20 - From Boring to Exciting: The Power of Fun Topics22:45 - Choosing Enjoyable First Date Activities26:50 - Sparking Conversations with Fun First Date Questions30:01 - The '5 Questions Game: Getting It All Wrong33:46 - The Art of Pretending and Posing Questions35:09 - Turning the Tables: Trick Questions and Victory39:17 - Revealing Nature Through Trick Questions40:40 - Fun Questions and Game Recommendations41:23 - Outro

Cindy Lauper was right. Girls, they want to have fun. Welcome to the Dating Transformation Podcast. Here's your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. Welcome back to the Dating Transformation Podcast. I am your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you learn to flirt, gain confidence, get a lot more dates with women you're into, and attract a really wonderful girlfriend. And do this all with authenticity, radical authenticity, no pickup artist nonsense, and not just surface level what to say, here's how, you know, here's a pre a prescripted line. I'm talking about lighting women up by conveying your best, most confident, and authentic self. And today's topic is how to have fun when talking with a

woman you're attracted to, primarily on the first or second date, but also in a conversation when you've just met her. Maybe you're at a bar, at a party, some kind of social event, and you're speaking to her and you're thinking, what do I say? How can I make something good happen romantically here? That's what today's episode is about. So I'm really excited about it. It's really all about one of the most underrated aspects of dating, but arguably, arguably the most attractive energy to create with a woman when you first meet her, which is

simply fun. Having fun. Having fun, laughing, joking, creating good, fun emotions. You might be a guy who thinks, oh, you've got to be tall, handsome, really funny and witty, and know the perfect thing to say in order to create a spark with a woman. And those things are bonuses. I mean, any of those things could be valuable. But for my money, on a first date or that first conversation, I just want to give her a fun experience.

I want to give her a fun experience instead of a boring one, instead of some weird, sketchy, creepy,'s laughing, if you're asking her good questions, funny questions, or if you're talking about topics that you're both enjoying and making you both laugh, then she's going to want to see you again. She's going to want to, she's going to say yes to that first date, or she's going to want that second date if you're on a first date, or she's going to just be that really, that woman at the bar who's just, she just met you, you're 5, 10, 15 minutes in, you're making her laugh. I should say you're laughing together. You're laughing together. It's not about, and today's episode is not how to be funny and witty, although that has value. We'll talk about that on other episodes, and I have. It's about how to have fun. And the nice thing about amping up

the fun factor is you can absolutely do it. You don't have to be the funniest, wittiest guy in the world. You just need to understand some real simple tools for amping up the fun factor. So today's episode, I'm going to give you five simple strategies, five simple tools to have a lot more fun on your next date and your next conversation with a woman, especially if you're just meeting her. And I'm also, stay tuned to the very end because at about the 25-minute mark, 20, about the 20, 22-minute mark, I'm going to share with you my single favorite ever first date game. There's a game. It's kind of a bar bet. It's a fun little two, three, four-minute game you can play on a first date. And it's my single favorite

fun creator, fun generator. It's my number one. I just made that up. It's my number one fun generator to play on first dates. And it's a really fun, simple game. I played it literally 200 times on a couple hundred dates. And anyway, so today's about solving a big problem that you're probably struggling with, at least if you're listening to this pod, which is your first dates might be kind of boring. You're not sure what to say. You're not sure what to talk about. She doesn't want to see you again. Maybe you get stuck in the friend zone. Maybe a woman says, Hey, it was nice meeting you, but I'm seeing somebody or I'm not really interested in dating right now. Or I don't want to, I didn't feel that spark. That's all code. That's all woman code for dude. Just wasn't feeling the romance with you. Just, I don't want to date you again.

And bringing fun to a first date or a first conversation with a woman is such an important part of giving her the experience of bringing value to her life, making her smile, laughing with her, giving her a fun time and bringing, bringing a good, fun energy is enough to get a second date. It's enough to, it's more than enough to make a woman want to see you again. Here's a quick story. I was in Miami about, um, 12, 13 years ago. And I was really at this point getting good. I was getting really good. I was starting to get really good at first dates and really good at that first five to 10 minutes after an approach. And I was at the Fountain Blue Hotel, the lobby at the Fountain Blue Hotel

on a Saturday night. And I'd finally gotten in the zone. And for the first time in my approaching journey as a single dude trying to get good at approaching women, I saw the matrix. The matrix was... I'm gonna read your mind. Ready? I'll bet that you would love to confidently approach women, get great matches on the dating apps, flirt with charm, and attract your dream girlfriend. Right? But fear keeps you

from approaching. You're not sure how to flirt. You struggle on the apps. And desirable women just don't seem into you. Well, I have great news. Dating coach Connell Barrett can help. He's guided thousands of men like you to more confidence and help them attract their dream girlfriends. So book a free strategy call today to see if Connell's coaching is right for you. On your call, Connell or a team member will give you personalized advice to help you have more confidence, more dates, and more fun. Oh, and you'll be dating women as your best self, a charming gentleman. That's because Connell does not teach creepy pickup artist tricks. He unlocks your most confident self, so you can make authentic romantic connections.

Your next steps? Book your free call today at datingtransformation.com forward slash contact and grab a time that works for you. Then you'll be on your way to more confidence, better results, and attracting bright, beautiful women. Oh, so you know, soon Connell will stop taking on new clients. So book a call today while you still can. Go to datingtransformation.com forward slash contact and transform your love life.

Bye. I thought I was supposed to walk up to women and be cool and say cool, witty, clever, pickup artisty things. And this night at the Fontainebleau Hotel, I was walking up to women and I was just being silly. I was having fun. I was teasing and joking. I was asking them silly questions. And I got three phone numbers in about 45 minutes of time. And one of them was this really beautiful woman named Bree. And I just remember her name. I remember how pretty she is and how classy and stylish. And I just remember her saying, as she gave me her number, we talked for 10 minutes in the lobby bar of the Fontainebleau.

She gave me her number and said, hey, let's meet up. Text me. You're a lot of fun. You are a lot of fun. You are a lot of fun. And that was a real aha moment for me when I realized, okay, Connell, stop trying to find the perfect thing to say. Stop trying to be cool and show off. Instead, bring the fun. So let's do it. I'm going to give you right now my top five favorite fun factors, ways to amp up the fun factor.

Here we go. Especially on first dates, but also in that first approach. Strategy number one is talk about fun topics. Focus on fun topics. This one is the easiest one. Simply monitor the conversation you're having with her and ask yourself, is this topic fun or is it not fun? So that's very simple. You don't need to come up with amazing shtick all the time. You can just keep topics, keep the topics on things that are fun and light and more

emotion-based as opposed to information and logic-based. So here's a story. Here's a quick story from a first date of mine to illustrate this. I was on a first date once and it was actually right, it was right after the pandemic ended because she and I were talking about how we spent the pandemic. And I remember she spent about two or three minutes getting negative about her pandemic experience, taking, she was a graduate student in psychology. And she was saying how, oh, my grad, I hated the pandemic. I took this online course for grad school and it was, I hated it. And she was just going down this rabbit hole of negativity. And in my mind, I'm thinking, not a fun topic. She hates grad school. She hated this Zoom course.

Change the subject. And so I interrupted as politely as I could, but also I felt like I needed to take charge. I said, hey, let's get back to that in a second, but do me a favor. Tell me, what were you saying earlier about those two cats you were babysitting? What was that story? Cause that sounded really funny. You said the cats got into like a, uh, they got into a funny fight or they were, what were they doing again? And as soon as I changed the topic from her grad school hell to these two kitties that she mentioned earlier, her face lit up and she smiled and said, Oh yeah. So I was house sitting these two cats. And she's told this funny story and the vibe of the date improved by 50% instantly. It became fun.

And all we did was change topic from why she hates grad school to why kitties are cute. So it can be as simple as noticing the topic and switching to something more fun. Here are some bad topics to avoid. Politics. Politics. Talking about people besides you and her who aren't important, who aren't really important to you or her. So it's totally fine if you and she talk about your parents, people you're closest to, family members, best friend, but you don't want to go down some long conversational rabbit hole about, I don't know, some guy you work with and tell a five-minute

story that's not really relevant to you or her. Or maybe she goes off on a five-minute rant or story about what a jerk her boss is and talks about all the problems she's having at work and her boss. Now, you can empathize with that, but it's not a fun topic. So you want to take responsibility for the date and make it a bit more fun. Make it a bit more fun. Other topics to avoid would be negativity, bad news happening in the world. There's some awful news happening in the world. You don't want to dwell on that or even mention it if you can. And those are some bad topics. Basically, anything that's logical, anything negative, and anything that veers too far away from you and her. Best topics to talk about are her, are you.

I should say that we start with topics that matter to her and you. So you might look at her profile if it's a first date from the dating apps. You might look at her profile and say, okay, she's really into skiing. That's a fun topic. She's going to want to talk about that. She went on a wine tour of Napa. Okay, I want to ask her about her trip and asking her what was the most enjoyable part of that trip. So travel is a great topic. Anything she puts on her online dating profile is a great topic. Her career is a good topic, as long as you talk about it the right way. In other words, don't get bogged down in just facts and figures. Oh, really?

So what year did you become an attorney? How long have you been practicing as an attorney? What kind of law did you study in college? Those are okay questions to get information. But if you're going to talk about her job, then talk about it through a more emotional lens. Emotion is the gateway to romance, whereas logic and information is quite the opposite of romance. And so you could say, oh, what do you love most about your job? What do you love most about being a lawyer? What lights you up? I love asking that question. What lights you up about your job? Other topics, great topics, music, food, people in general, women in particular, love talking about fine dining, favorite foods.

I had a first date once where we talked about coffee, different coffee, and we also talked about bagels. I'm a bagel lover. And I had a date once where we just talked about coffee and bagels for 20 minutes. Now that might not seem like a sexy, hot, fun first date topic. But there's something that can feel really good about talking about things that are unimportant. It's a nice light topic. Because think about it. If it's a first date or if it's a Friday night after a long week, she just got finished having a very tough week in some ways, right? She's got her work problems. She's got stress. She's got her boss maybe as being a jerk.

Yeah, everybody, people go out on dates or they go out to socialize and have some drinks to get out of their logical information-based mind, to get away from their problems and to just talk about fun, dumb things. So feel free to talk about stupid shit, stupid, dumb, fun shit. It could be bagels. It can be TV shows. I love asking my date about her favorite desert Island TV shows. What show, what, what TV show

would she bring on a desert Island with her? She could only watch that show over and over again. Food. Stupid stuff happening in culture. Talk about Taylor Swift and Travis, what's his name, if that's a light, fun topic that lights her up or lights you up too. So this does not have to be super fancy. It doesn't have to be the perfect topic. Basically, use your common sense. Use common sense. Keep things light and fun. And that's going to be giving her the gift of shifting her focus away from her problems, her bills, her job, her stress. And she's just with you talking about bagels and Taylor Swift and each other and getting to know you and her sharing her, that's going to be a fun date. So the first and easiest thing you can do is switch to fun topics.

One last example of this happening. My client, Trevor, I write about this in my book and in the chapter all about how to flirt. But my client, Trevor, was once on a date. And his first date was with a beautiful, beautiful woman, a chef, a beautiful, gorgeous, successful brunette chef in New York City. A total amazing catch. And he'd been in the friend zone with a lot of women until we started working together. And this woman, her name is Becca, she was telling a story that frankly was kind of a boring story. It was something to do with shopping and she was buying makeup and shoes. He was listening.

He was trying to listen, but it was kind of a boring story. And he interrupted her and said, hey, actually, we can get back to your story in a second, but you're never going to guess what happened to me today. And he told this fun story about being on the subway and something weird and crazy happened. Now, I'm not saying you should cut a woman off and interrupt her, but if you do notice the conversation is in a boring place, interrupt it, make it fun just by switching to a more fun topic. She'll appreciate it. Rejection, ghosting, loneliness, lack of dates, and lack of confidence. For many men, dating just sucks, but it doesn't have to. There's a simple yet powerful way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend. Be radically authentic. It's all laid out in the number one Amazon bestselling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't, your step-by-step guide to attracting wonderful women and doing it with total authenticity. Author and dating coach Conal Barrett has had and fixed

all the dating problems that you struggle with. He's also helped thousands of men gain confidence and find love. He's put his best tips and strategies into Dating Sucks But You Don't so that you can confidently approach women and get dates. Become magnetic and attractive, even if you're not tall or great looking. Always know what to say to make sparks fly. Get lots of great matches and dates on the dating apps and attract your dream woman. You can find Dating Sucks But You Don't on Amazon or wherever books are sold in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. Get Dating Sucks But You Don't today to transform your confidence and find your dream girl.

This is an example of you leading the date into a good place. So tip number one is talk about fun topics. Tip number two is play some fun games. Play some fun games. I love playing games on dates. Two per date is a good amount. Any more than that, it can get a little bit gimmicky. But I love doing staring contests, thumb wrestling, two truths and a lie.

Come to the date, if it's a date, or just be ready if it's a conversation. Be ready to say something like, oh, hey, you know what? Let's play two truths and a lie. Ready? And then you have three things ready to say. One of them's a lie. She gets to guess what it is. A game is fun. People love to play games. We're all wired to enjoy playing games. Staring contest, two truths and a lie. I like to play a game called the first time where I say, okay, I have an idea. Let's play a game. It's called the first time. We're going to take turns talking about the first time we did something in our life. We'll just ask each other questions. So you might ask her, okay, when was the first time you traveled by yourself?

And then she'll ask you a first time question. And you ask her another, what's the first time you went to a rock concert? What was your first concert? Basically, it's asking each other about firsts in life. And a cool thing about this game is it's fun. You're getting to know each other. And if you want, you can dial up the flirting. Make the topic that you're asking about a bit more risque.

You know, you could say, hey, who's the first kiss you ever had? How old were you when you had your first kiss? Or when was the first time you got drunk? And it can get a little bit risque from there. You could talk about the first, if it's being dialed up, you can then start talking about your first time being intimate, first time having sex. Now, be careful with that because some women might have a bad first time having sex story. So read the room. Make sure that she's enjoying that topic. But you can kind of dial up the sparks factor by asking first time questions that are a bit more spicy as you go along. My very favorite first date game, I'm going to save to the very end of the pod

in about five or six minutes from now. I'm going to give you my very favorite first date game to play. It's my favorite one, and you'll see why in a couple minutes. Okay. Third tip for more fun interactions with women, fun dates, is choose a fun activity. If you're on a first date, you don't always have to just get drinks or avoid. I would avoid having dinner for a first date. Avoid dinner. It can get pricey. You're sitting across from each other at a table rather than right next to each other. So instead, have a fun activity for a first date. Bowling, ping pong, pool, a game night challenge. Jenga is a fun first date. Go to a bar that has board games and play a game, play a game of Jenga or whatever board game you're into. You could do,

actually one of the best activity dates I ever had. You can get really creative with this. Once during a New York City heat wave in August, I had a second date with a girl I was very into and we snuck into a hotel pool. It was kind of a fun, devious thing to do. We broke the rules. I don't think we broke any laws, but we broke the rule. We pretended to be hotel clients. We got into the pool and there was a swim up bar at the pool, uh, had some drinks and it felt like we were doing something bad. So it was a first, it was a second date swim date. Uh, that was kind of a fun devious date. Karaoke is a great fun first date. So yeah, have an activity for a do, do an activity for your first date or maybe second date. That's a way to amp up the fun factor.

Okay, that was number four. Number five is, oh, sorry, that was number three. I lost count. That was number three. My fourth fun factor tip, way to have fun on dates, is ask fun questions. Ask fun questions. This is so easy. It takes a little preparation you don't have to improvise it you can come armed with three four five good questions in your back pocket so to speak

to ask and because you're gonna ask you're gonna ask some very normal get-to-know-you questions, and that's fine. You do want to ask get-to-know-you questions, like who are you closer to, or tell me about your parents, how many brothers and sisters do you have, where did you grow up? Those kinds of questions are totally fine and normal to ask on a first date. But to amp up the fun factor, you can ask some more fun questions. You can ask, would you rather questions? The game, would you rather, if you Google, would you rather questions, you'll get hundreds of options. You can ask some fun, would you rather questions based on whatever the topic is you're talking about, or maybe just totally randomly. I remember I was on

a date once where she was a big Harry Potter fan. So I said, okay, would you rather... I think I asked her F. Mary Kill. I said, okay, F. Mary Kill, Voldemort,ry potter and the dragon i don't remember so you could ask her like f mary kill questions you can ask would you rather questions you know would you rather uh would you rather have the ability to fly or the ability of super speed would you rather questions are great there's a whole list of good first date questions in my book. Dating sucks, but you don't. Feel free to check that out for more. One of my favorites was always, okay, who would, if you could have anybody play you,

any actress, any actor play you in your life story, who would you choose? I like that question. I like asking when this is moving away from fun and potentially more into deep, but it can also be fun, is I like to ask, what was the best day of your life? What was the best day of your life? And that'll keep things positive and hopefully fun. And that's a fairly deep question, but it's a positive one, right? I love that question. So ask good, fun questions.

Google, read the first eight chapter of my book. Google some would you rather questions. And you could have five or six of them at the ready. And in the middle of the day, you can say, hey, I have some fun questions I want to ask you. These are a little bit out there. Are you game? And then you hit her with some fun questions. By the way, they don't always have to be super clever.

They can just be fun questions like if you could have dinner with any famous person, who would you have dinner with? If you could, you know, the Desert Island question I asked earlier, it can be as simple as that. You know, what's your favorite TV show, your favorite movie? Who was your first concert? That's a good one. That's a good one that's a good one uh i like asking what's this what's the story what's the story from college that you oh hold on my my i my uh itunes music just started playing randomly oh man i hate apple music okay um you could ask about about, what's the one story from college that you've never told your parents about? So as the date goes on, as the questions go on, you can sort of

escalate things, make them more personal, more playful, more risque. Anyway. Okay. Let's end with my single favorite first date game. This is tip number five, which is to play a first date game that's called five questions. I did not invent this. I forget where this comes from. I got it on from some dating guru 15, 20 years ago. But anyway, it's called the five questions. It's basically a bar bet.

It's a little, it's a, it's a, it's a trick. It's a trick game, but fun, very fun. And I've done this on the majority of first dates I've had, and it's called five questions. And here's how it works. Basically what you're doing is you're telling her that you're going to play a game called five questions. And all she has to do is get all five questions wrong. If she gets any of the questions right, she loses the game. And a great way to frame this is you might say this after the first drink. And it's time to order a second drink. And you're thinking, hey, you know what, I have an idea. Do you you want to play a little want to play a little game for for a drink it's a little bet so right just there right there upping the stakes uh challenging her to a fun little wager for a free drink loser buys the drink that is fun because you're amplifying

the stakes. You're saying, hey, let's make this mean something a little bit more. So it's called Five Questions. I'll take you through it. I'll do it right now. I'll basically do it as if I was on a date. And then I'll kind of role play both parts here. And the great thing about this being a podcast is you can go back and listen to it and practice. So here's how it goes. So you're on the date and it basically goes like this. Hey, I have an idea. Let's play a game. It's called five questions. It's a game where I'm going to ask you five questions, very simple, straightforward questions. And for you to win the game, all you have to do is get all five questions, very simple, straightforward questions. And for you to win the game,

all you have to do is get all five questions wrong. Are you up for it? If you get any question right, you lose and you owe me a drink. Are you up for it? She'll always say yes, because it's fun. You're basically saying, let's have some fun. And then here is how the game works. So you're going to ask her three very simple, clear, easy to get wrong questions. And then the fourth question is a trick question, as you'll see in a second. And then there's also a chance to have another trick question for question number five if she doesn't fall for the first trick question. So let me demonstrate it for you. Here we go. Okay, cool. Let's play. Here we go. Remember, Amanda, get them all wrong. If you get any of them right, you lose. Okay? All right. Here we go. Question number one. And then the first three questions, you just ask her something incredibly obvious and simple

to get wrong. It doesn't really matter what they are. The nice thing about this game is you can make up the first three questions. So you might say, all right, question number one. What is my first name? It could be as simple as that. And she'll say, your first name is Chester. And you can laugh and say, that is correctly incorrect. So far, so good.

So she got it wrong, right? And so you want to give her a little reward smile. Good job. Nice job. So far, so good. And then you want to go next question. And as you're asking the questions, you want to ask the question kind of like in an official way. Like, okay, here we go. Next up. What in the next question would be literally anything. What is the name of the president of the United States? A super easy question. And she'll say something wrong, right? Robert De Niro. Whatever she says, it's going to be funny.

I love this game because you're setting up a fun payoff shortly, but it's also just a blast to have her say the wrong name. Robert De Niro. And you say, ah, that is wrong. Good job. You're crushing it. You're totally crushing it. You're nailing this game. Now, that is wrong. Good job. You're crushing it. You're totally crushing it.

You're nailing this game. Now, the next one. Now, while you're doing this, you want to keep count. And you want to get to three simple questions asked and answered. But you don't say the numbers you go along necessarily. You kind of want to pretend like you're losing count. So the next one, you're asking question number three. and you say the next one, whatever it is. What app did you and I meet on? Let's say you met on Hinge. What app did you and I meet on? And she'll say some incorrect answer. You know, we met on Grindr. If she's funny, she'll say something like that. So you'll both be laughing about her absurd, incorrect answers.

And then you'll say, ah, nice job. Nice job. I accept your answer. It's right. It's wrong because it's right. Or it's right because it's wrong. And then here's the secret. Here's the move.

Okay? You pause. You change your tone of voice from question-asking guy to asking a sincere question. And you say to her, wait, how many questions was that so far? And then she'll very likely say, oh, that was three. So she'll give you the truthful, correct answer, but that's the trick question. And then you say, ah, you lose. Nice try. Sorry, you lost.

So I'll do it again. Remember, so the way you ask the first three questions is, who is the president of the United States? What app did you and I meet on? What is my first name? And you get to that next one, before number four, you say, wait, how many questions was that? You ask in a genuine sounding way, and she'll very likely say to you, oh, that was three. And then you go, gotcha, I win. Gotcha on the fourth.

And nine out of ten times you'll win the game on that trick question. And that'll be great. It'll be funny. She'll be mad, but in a good way, she'll feel like she got got. And you can trash talk. Please do. I encourage you say, Oh, gosh, you're terrible at this, man. That was easy. I hope you brought a lot of cash because I like really pricey drinks. What are you going to get me? So you can kind of lean into the trash talking, which is really funny. So that's how you win at question number four.

Now, there's one other element to the game here that's possible. So you got to stay on your toes. It's possible, unlikely, but possible that she'll have her guard up. And so that when you ask that trick question, the how many was that question, she'll have her guard up and she might say, oh, that was 27 questions. If that happens, don't freak out.

In fact, it's actually an opportunity to win the game. You basically get two bites of the apple. First bite, I just explained. Here's the second bite to win the game. If she's on to you and says, oh, that was 29 guesses or 29 questions, then you pretend that she lost. I'm sorry, that you lost and she won. You say, oh, damn it. I thought I had you. Shoot. You got me. I thought I was going to get you. Oh, man, you're too smart for me. Say

something like, I thought I had you. I thought I was going to win. You're just too smart for me. Oh, shoot. Usually people crumble. All right. I know when I'm beaten. So you play it up a little bit. You play it up that she's the winner. You give her a false sense of security that she won the game. All right. And stroke her ego a little bit. Yeah, you're too quick for me. I thought I had you. And then you say this very conversationally, very casually. You say, have you played this before? Now that secretly is question number five, because that is the fifth question you've asked. But her guard will be down and she'll say, no, I never played before. And then you say, ah, I got you on the fifth. You lose. And I'm telling you, dear listener, when you get that fifth question and she thinks she won,

but she lost, her brain melts. It's so funny. You get a free drink. She, she's going to pretend like she's upset, but she's not, she's having a blast because, because you're challenging her, you're teasing, you're joking, and you're having fun together, uh, by the way. So, and that's, so that's five questions. I play this a hundred plus times, never lost. I've only lost this game once to one person. It wasn't on a date. So practice this game. Get good at it. Maybe do it with family members and friends. It's a fun little... You can do it with anybody. It's not just a first date game. But there's just something about it. It's just silly. It gives you both a chance to laugh and trash talk. Then she gets to buy you a drink if she loses, which I'm sure she

will. It's also, I think, a fun psychological test. And I've actually said this to my date after the game is over. I said, let's say she lost on the second one. The first trick question, if she loses on that one, it's because she's a helpful giving person. She's trying to help the game by telling me how many questions there were. And so I'll say, well, you either, this game's a psychological examination. If you miss the first question, it's because you're helpful and sincere and trying to give back. If you miss the second question, the fifth one, it's because you have a huge ego. So if she misses on the last one, you can say, apparently you have a giant ego. You thought you'd won the game and you didn't. Anyway, it's fun trash talking. It's just silly. And try out the five questions. Please rewind,

go back and listen to this episode again. to how i talk how you set the game up is really important or it's not really important but it's it's fairly important to frame it as a really fun game just get all five wrong if you get any question right you lose and then you'll enjoy that so those are the five, my five fun escalators. Let's call them the fun escalators. How to escalate, amp up the fun on first dates. Number one, talk about fun topics. Number two, play fun games.

Number three, do fun activities if it's a first date. Number four, ask fun questions. And number five, play the five questions, the game I just did. That's my favorite game ever. My favorite first date game ever. And I think you're going to have a blast with it. All right. Thank you so much for listening.

And yeah, remember, bottom line, hey, Cindy Lauper was right. Girls, they want to have fun. She also said, be bop. She bop, she bop. So she was two for two. All right. Remember, your beautiful, cool future girlfriend, she's out there. She already likes you. She just has to meet the real you. See you next time. Thank you for listening to the Dating Transformation podcast. For lots of free tips, videos, and other goodies, go to datingtransformation.com. See you next time. Produced by Heartcast Media.