How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - 7 Days, 7 Online Dating Openers: What to Write on the Apps Every Day of the Week

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

Imagine never struggling to come up with a good online dating opener. In this episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach Connell Barrett shares seven proven, playful dating-app openers that you can use every day of the week! You’re about to learn what to message women, and how to keep the conversation flowing after they reply.NOT GETTING ENOUGH DATES? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH CONNELL: DatingTransformation.comGET A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”: Email: [e-mail] (Write “Free Book” in Subject Line) 

Maybe the most universal problem in dating is, what the hell do I say? What do I write? How do you talk to women? And the answer, my answer is, you play. That's what flirting is. Flirting is about play. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend Podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, and author Connell Barrett, helping you flirt with authentic

confidence, know what to say. Get dates and get a great girlfriend. All by being the true, real authentic you. mom was right. Women like you for you. I met my incredible girlfriend, Jess, on a dating app. And you have a love, hate, relationship with dating apps. Let me rephrase that. You have a hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate relationship with dating apps, probably, if you're like most guys. If you don't get matches, if you don't get dates, it's all hate. If you get some leads, if you get some online dating options, then it's like love. hate, hate, hate, hate, but it's so frustrating. Maybe the hardest thing about online dating for men today is just knowing what to say, knowing what to write. And today's episode,

I want to give you exactly what to say, what to write seven days a week. Literally, if you're not sure what to write for your opener on dating apps, Sunday through Saturday, today's episode is for you. So I came up with seven days of opener. And these are openers that I've tested. I use them. I give them to my clients. Every single opener you're about to hear has worked. And let's just get to it.

I'll give you each one Sunday through Saturday. And I'll just give you the opener. And then I'll explain a little bit as to why it works, how you might tweak it if you want to. But these are literally copy and paste. if you want them to be, if you want them to be. Okay, let's get to it. And let's start with Sunday.

So if you're not sure what to send to a woman for your online dating opener on a Sunday, send her this. Happy Sunday. It's marathon day for me. It's a Netflix marathon, but still, TV emoji. This is just a dumb, dorky dad joke, but there's a clever little twist here. And you're going to get a lot of women writing you back. saying, L-O-L, ha, ha, ha, you tricked me. So give this one a try.

I like this one because it has a fun little twist at the end. She thinks you're talking about running an actual marathon, but of course it's a Netflix marathon. So this one works because it's self-effacing. You're making fun of yourself a little bit. And there's a surprise joke. There's a surprise laugh. By the way, if you like this one, if this is your sense of humor, a little bit cheesy,

a little bit dad joky, but also clever. This also works as a prompt. You can also use this as a prompt or as an opener. And I've had a lot of matches with women on the apps who say things like, oh, that sounds way more fun than running a real marathon. Or there was one woman who matched with me once who said, actually, I run real marathons, but I love Netflix marathons as well. And I also like this one because it sets you up to talk about what's on TV, Netflix.

You probably struggle with, well, what topics do I talk about? What do I banter with women about? Well, what's on Netflix is great. So it could play out like this. You send her this Sunday Icebreaker. Happy Sunday. It's Marathon Day for me. A Netflix marathon, but still, she writes you back.

Ha, ha, ha. Very cute, very funny. And then you might not know where to take it. just stick with the Netflix theme. So speaking to Netflix, I'm curious, what shows are you binging right now? Or tell her what you're binging. And now the two of you are having a nice, light, bantery conversation about TV. And that's a great topic to be bantering about.

So give that one a try. I'm a big fan of this one. All right, let's move to Monday. If you have no idea what to message a woman for your opener on a dating app on Monday, go with this. Top quiz. Your weekend highlight. Dot, dot, dot, dot. A, napping, B, yoga. C, cupcakes. D, eating cupcakes during yoga. Pencils down, pencil emoji. It's playful. It's so easy for women to reply to this. You're giving them an option, and it works because it's playful. And that's what flirting is about. It's about play. What woman doesn't like taking a fun little quiz, right? And I really like this one.

Because, again, the essence of flirting, I say this a lot, especially on Instagram, but I also say it here. Maybe the most universal problem in dating is, what the hell do I say? What do I write? How do you talk to women? And the answer, my answer, is you play. That's what flirting is. Flirting is about play. If you look up flirting in the dictionary, I think it's Oxford, defines it as, quote,

playing at love. And that's all flirting is. And so I like the pop quiz opener. It's perfect for a Monday. And what we're doing here is, why won't my light work? What we're doing here is you want to make it really easy for her to reply. So here's why this one works. Pop quiz, all she has to do is figuratively circle A, napping, B, yoga, C, cupcakes, D, eating cupcakes during yoga. So it's easy to reply to. What you don't want to do with your openers is make it hard for women to reply by asking them questions and make her do a lot of work. Don't ask her a question that makes her answer an essay, at least not for your opener. Once she gets a little bit of rapport with you and a connection with you, and then you've got a little bit of investment from both of you, then you might ask her a more open-ended question. So why did you become a lawyer?

You know, you can go a little bit deeper, but for your opener, a really good online data. a really good online dating opener should be two or three things. Playful. I call them the three peas. Playful. Perfect length, which is 15 to 20 words roughly. And personalized to her. And the nice thing about the pop quiz opener, you can send this to any woman,

is like what woman doesn't do yoga or nap or bake or want to eat baked goods during a weekend. This is basically a playful, more clever way to ask her how her weekend was. But if you ask a woman, how's your weekend? She's going to ignore you, probably. But if you ask her through the lens of a pop quiz, how her weekend was, that's very different. So give that a try on Monday. You could also do it on other days of the week, but it's the perfect one for Monday. Every other guy is going to be saying, how is your weekend? What'd you do? You are not asking her to do the work of responding, of giving value, you're doing it for her. You're giving her the joy, the fun of a little quiz. Okay, let's move to Tuesday. If you're not sure what to write

to a woman, if you just have no idea what to write to a woman on a Tuesday, on a dating app, use this as your opener. It's Taco Tuesday. Would you rather eat tacos every day for a week or become a taco? Taco emoji. a little thinking emoji. It's light, it's playful, and it begins a fun little banter about tacos and whether or not she'd want to be a taco. Who wouldn't want to answer this? It's very light. And this works really well. And you know what? The stupid light of mind will not stay lit. You know what? Fuck it. Lights off. And it works for Tuesday, right? Because it's Taco Tuesday. That's an obvious thing. So what would most guys right on Tuesday. How's your Tuesday going? Don't do that. That's boring as hell.

What are you up to? How was your weekend? Because it's still kind of post weekend. But no, go with Taco Tuesday. It's just what, the other reason I like this, again, it allows you to tee up a topic that makes it easy to keep the conversation going because I can almost hear you, podcast listener. Well, Connell, what do I say next? What do I do after? the opener and she responds. Well, you've got the topic right there. Think of your opener as the icebreaker, conversation starter, and whatever topic you use for the opener, that becomes the conversation thread. And you pull that thread. Pull the thread as long as it goes. So in this case, the thread would be her answer to the question. Basically, it's tacos. Tacos slash food is

the topic, but let's say it's tacos. So she'll respond. Most women will respond, oh, I'd much rather be a taco. And then you could say, oh, cool, what kind of taco would you be? Or you can tell her what kind of taco you'd be or what kind of Mexican food you would be. Yes, this sounds a little bit illogical. It's very illogical. This is very silly. And so many women, a majority of women, want silly light banter or you could keep it a bit more logical that's okay you could say oh well speaking to tacos what's your favorite Mexican restaurant that's a fine topic too so think of the icebreaker from a dating app it's like that conversation starter and then whatever the topic is you keep pulling that thread for a few more messages talk about tacos talk about her or your favorite

Mexican food. How does she feel about guacamole? How do you feel? And that's all you need a little back and forth to make her feel comfortable enough bantering with you where she might say, yeah, this guy's cool. We're talking tacos. He's light. He's playful. And then she, then you could segue into, hey, I have an idea. I think you and I should grab tacos. How about that for a first date? Boom. You could ride the topic of tacos all the way to a first date. So give the Taco Tuesday opener a chance. Oh, one more thing about the opener. About the Taco Tuesday opener, again, you want to make your opener easy for women to answer. Notice this is a binary question we're asking. Would you rather eat tacos every day for a week or be a taco?

She has a simple choice. All she has to do is pick the thing that you're giving her. That's playful and fun. You're not asking her to do a lot of hard work in her response. We want to make it easy for women to respond to us. I hope that all makes sense. All right, let's go to Wednesday. Here's what you can send literally any woman on a Wednesday. If you're not sure what to write to a woman for that online dating opener, this is great. Send her this on Wednesday.

Hey, happy hump day. Although I'm not drinking today. So I guess it makes it dry hump day. Camel emoji. It's a little bit naughty, but it's very, light, playful with a fun surprise at the end. What woman wouldn't laugh at this? Not every woman, but a woman with a good sense of humor would really like this. I'm a fan of this one because you're taking a very banal, boring topic. Like, what's the most boring day of the week? Probably

Wednesday. Monday's suck. Fridays are the best. Saturdays are the best. Wednesday is hump day. And again, this time you're not asking her a question. You're just cracking a silly, dumb joke, like a PG-dad joke, PG-13 dad joke. And all you're looking for from her is a response of like, L-O-L, ha-ha, very funny. And that's plenty to get the conversation ball rolling. Now, in the last couple of examples, I said, all you got to do is keep the conversation going by continuing to talk about whatever the topic is. Now, the topic for this one, again, it's just a joke. But the topic could be, here's a good topic. Actually, test drive this. I think I'm stealing

this from Seinfeld, I think. But you could follow up with, well, today's Wednesday. Let me ask you this. Does Wednesday have a feel to it or does Wednesday have no feel? I think that's an interesting little bantery topic. There's a Seinfeld episode where Kramer, George and Jerry, I think, are talking about the days of the week that certain days have very strong feels. Mondays feel like Monday, right? Friday definitely feels like Friday. But does Wednesday even have a feel? You could do that.

Or you could say a much simpler conversation topic to keep riding with this one would be. It's obviously hump day. It's the midway point of the week. then you go to sharing with her what you're doing this weekend and asking her what she's doing. So it's like, hey, happy Wednesday. It's hump day. Although I'm not drinking today. So it's dry hump day.

Send it. She laughs. Good. She responds. Now you're bantering a little bit. And then you could say, well, yeah, I can't wait for the weekend to get here. I'm doing XYZ thing. I'm going to a music show.

I'm going to a comedy show. I'm doing XYZ thing. What about you? What are you looking forward to this weekend? So that would be a normal, very simple, normal, relatable topic to switch to in terms of what to say next. Hope that all makes sense. Okay, let's switch to Thursday. Here we are. Boy, this week is flying by, isn't it?

It's already Thursday. Oh, by the way, I forgot to do a little program plug, or not plug, but a little commercial for myself. So I'm a dating coach, as you might know. and I work with men one-on-one doing personalized coaching. And I specifically specialize in men who struggle with what to say, introverted men, logical guys. If you are a logical, analytical guy, somewhat introverted or shy. If you have little to no dating experience, you are my guy. If you're a software engineer, if you're a banker, an accountant, or you have a job in a

logical, brainy field, and you don't have a lot of dating experience, then, and you're looking for a dating coach, go to my website, datingtransformation.com. I do free consultations so I can talk to men about how my coaching works and how I help guys get good at flirting, help them get girlfriends, both on the apps and also in real life. So go to my website if you want to, datingtransformation.com. If you don't want a dating coach, that's fine. That's not for everybody. Most guys don't want or need a dating coach. Here's what you can do for free. Email me, free book. You can also DM me on Instagram. Free book. My Instagram is at dating transformation. Or you can email me. My email address is Connell, C-O-N-N-E-L, at datingtransformation.com. And just email me or DM me free book. And I'll send

you a free copy of my book. I wrote a book a few years ago called Dating Sucks, but you don't, which is all about how to flirt, how to confidently be yourself, be authentic, authentically attractive to women, no pickup bullshit, and get a girlfriend and get a great partner. So yeah, let me know if you want my book. I will send it to you for free happily. All right, let's go to Thursday. Here we are. So let's say it's Thursday. You want to send an opener, but you don't know what to write on the dating app. Center this on Thursday. Hey, it's throwback Thursday. Confession. In 2016, I wore skinny jeans so tight it cut off my circulation. What's your most embarrassing fashion choice from the past. And I added a little jeans emoji. I love this

because it confesses a vulnerability and it asks a woman, a question about fashion and style, which is a topic women love to talk about. This is a great opener for Thursday. I also have another good one for Thursday. This one's a little bit more, I wouldn't call it like risque, but a little bit more edgy, you could say, hey, it's Thursday. Or you could say, hey, it's thirsty Thursday. And just so you know, I like my women, like my coffee. Bold, hot, and not from a gas station. That is a little bit more out there, it's a little bit edgier. But a woman's going to read that thinking, oh, God, where is he going with this? Is it going to get weird? Is it going to get ethnic racial no it's not it's actually getting silly so feel free to test drive either of those those

are fun ones to send a woman on Thursday and let's go we have two days left two days left in our week our weeks full of online dating openers now we're going to go with Friday so it's Friday and you want to send that online dating opener but you have no idea what to write to the woman center this on Friday. TGIF, which in your case stands for, this girl is fire. Fire emoji. I've sent this dozens of times. So of my clients, we get so many responses from women. It's a little bit cheesy and a little bit flirty, just the perfect zone for so many women. Give the TGIF a try. By the way, this is not sponsored by Fridays, the restaurant. I love the TGIF. You get why it works, right? it's she's expecting that you're you just mean thank god it's Friday but you're flirting with her and letting

her know she is fire by the way what is the simplest way to flirt with a woman well flirting is about play as I mentioned playfulness is essentially the vibe that's the essence of flirting that women love and there's another aspect of flirting that is really powerful and really simple which is clear statements of interest, clear, simple language. It could be as simple as saying, hey, you're pretty, you're charming, you're beautiful, you're adorable, I love your laugh, I love your smile, I want to see you again. Clarity, I even say this in my book, what I call man to woman communication. Man to woman communication is this term I heard back in the day and I adopted it. That's what I teach, which is let's create a man to woman, romantic vibe with a guy. With a

given a woman who you're attracted to. That's how we create sparks. And my point here is that the first rule of man to woman communication is clarity. This comes before clever. It comes before cool lines. It comes before being witty and funny. Just letting a woman know, hey, I like you. Hey, you're cute. You're pretty. And my point is the TGIF opener. This girl is fire. It works because we're combining two things that make flirting, ooh, so powerful to women, which is playfulness, which is the essence of flirting, and also clarity, playful and clear. It's playful because you're giving her a fun little TGIF misdirection, and it's clear because this girl is fire.

What are you saying here? It's clear language. You're basically saying she's beautiful, she's pretty, she's attractive. But you're not doing it in a needy, cliched way. way, every other guy, not every other guy, but most other guys who are going to go anywhere with a physical beauty compliment are going to say something like, wow, you're so gorgeous, you're hot, you're hot, you're gorgeous, you have a great smile. It's not the worst thing in the world to send to a woman, but she's heard it a thousand times,

so it's not going to have much of an impact on most women. But this girl is fire, is letting her know you think she's fire. but in a way that's cutely clever. So test drive, the TGIF. Here's a good one for Saturday. I just came up with this one today and I tested it out and I got a good response from one woman. So it's been tested once. So I like it.

Here's what to send on Saturday. Let's say it's Saturday. You have no idea what to send her on a Saturday. You could send her this online dating opener. I'm psychic on Saturdays. Let me prove it. You have exactly 1,243 screens. screenshots saved on your phone. I nailed it, didn't I? And then you add a little mind-blown emoji

and a winking emoji. This is a fun little playful, there's that word again, play, a playful little cold read. Women have, most of us have countless hundreds, dozens, thousands of screenshots on our phones. So it's a pretend little psychic trick. There's other ways you could do this. You could say, hey, it's happy Saturday. Did you know I'm psychic? on Saturdays? Yeah. In fact, I can tell you right now, the number between 1 and 10 you're thinking of is dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, 7. I nailed it, didn't I? It could be as simple as that. So the psychic Saturday opener. I just came up with it today, and I tried it, and it worked on one of the women. I sent it to three women and got one quick reply. So it does work.

Final thoughts here, putting a bow on everything. What is the one commonality every single one of these has? Everyone is light and playful. Flirting is many things. To me, it's about play. To quote another coach, I forget her name. I wish I could remember her name. I would quote her.

But she was on a podcast. She was on Lindsay Metzilar's podcast. Lindsay Metz-Hilar is a wonderful person, a wonderful dating expert. She hosts a podcast called We Met at Acme. And she had this woman on. I'm sorry, miss, I forget your name. And her guest said, logic is the opposite of flirting.

That's so powerful and simple. Logic is the opposite of flirting. Women aren't looking for logic, facts, figures, information. They're looking for light, compliments, playfulness, jokes, just light, easy, breezy, and all seven of these openers, hit that sweet spot. And by the way, feel free to take anything I've given you today and adopt it for you. Change it, tweak it, make it sound more like you. These all sound more or less like me because I wrote them all.

They're all conal. And to an extent, my clients, because my clients have used these as well. but feel free to take any of these or even better come up with your own. One of the beautiful things about getting good at dating and online dating is you can think of an online dating opener, not as necessary evil. I've got to send an opener. I get it. But what if you thought about it more as an expression of you, an expression of your sense of humor? You like dad jokes.

Tell her a dad joke. If you're edgier, raunchier, be a little bit more bold. That can be polarizing, but it can also be really attractive to women who like that. If you have a nerdy, dorky sense of humor, let that come out. I'm a natural-born smart ass. I'm a very playful person and a natural-born smart ass. And so I want that authentic side to come out. So feel free to let your authentic side come out as you send openers.

Or you can use any of these seven days a week and they'll work for you. pretty darn well. All right, until next time. Thank you for listening.