How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - Approach Her with Easy Confidence: Top Dating Expert Kezia Noble on How to Attract Women In Real Life

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

How do you talk to women and create true attraction? What’s the right way to approach in the #MeToo Era? How much do your looks matter to women? In this episode of the How to Get a Girlfriend Podcast, dating expert for men Kezia Noble answers these confounding questions. The bestselling author of “The Noble Art of Seduction,” Kezia has helped more than 100,000 men get great dating results. How? By telling it like it is about what works with women. “Guys don’t want to hear bulls*it,” she tells host and fellow dating coach Connell Barrett. “They want to hear the raw truth that gets results.”You want raw truth? You got it! Kezia and Connell discuss:(2:35) How Kezia Learned to Get Great Results for Her Clients(10:40) How to Dial Up Attraction Using her “Double-Sided Compliment”(13:12) “The Shadow,” the Side of Men that Women Find Seductive(16:45) What to Say on Dates to go from Boring to Charismatic(18:05) How to Be Authentically Interesting to Women as the Raw, Real You(24:05) The Right Way to Talk About Your Career… and the Wrong Way(25:45) The Truth about How Much Looks Really Matter to Women(28:51) Why Women Hate the Apps and are “Absolutely Dying” for Men like You to Approach Them(32:35) How to Get a Woman Who Rejected You to Change Her Mind and Chase YouAre you ready to confidently approach women and attract your dream girlfriend? Listen now!Featured GuestKezia Noble, The World’s Leading Female Dating and Attraction ExpertTO LEARN ABOUT KEZIA’S 1-1 COACHING PROGRAMSwww.kezia-noble.com/VISIT KEZIA’S YOUTUBE CHANNELhttp://www.youtube.com/@KezianobledatingexpertGET KEZIA’S BESTSELLING BOOK, “THE NOBLE ART OF SEDUCING WOMEN”http://www.amazon.com/Noble-Art-Seducing-Women-Foolproof/dp/1843587629FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO DISCUSS COACHINGhttp://www.datingtransformation.com/contactFOR FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACHhttp://www.datingtransformation.com/flirty30Quotes"There were 2 things that I noticed pretty quickly, the first was that there were indeed practical tools, advice that you could give men that could really make a change." - Kezia Noble"It's very much pattern breaking is not just about asking an interesting question, it's about your interesting responses." - Kezia Noble

I get the Prince Harry thing every now and then. Oh, yeah. I go, oh, you're like Prince Harry. I'm like, yeah, I'm like a very poor Prince Harry compared to him. All right. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach and author, Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you confidently flirt with. I'm your host, dating coach and author, Conal Barrett. I'm

here to help you confidently flirt with women and attract your dream girlfriend all by being authentic. No toxic pickup tricks needed because women like you for you. And let me ask you a question. Do women confuse you? Do women ghost you? Do you ever struggle with what to say, what to talk about? Well, today's very special guest is here to help you truly understand what women want and how to give them what they want in the dating game so that you can get a great girlfriend. Kezia Noble is the leading female dating and attraction expert for men. Her videos have received over 72 million views on YouTube, and she wrote a bestselling book called The Noble Art of Seducing Women.

Kezia has helped over 100,000 guys, just like you, overcome their sticking points, their limiting beliefs, to achieve some pretty fantastic success with women, which you're going to hear about. The kind of success that guys never thought was possible. And you can learn a lot more about Kezia on her website at kezia-noble.com. And that's K-E-Z-I-A. Kezia, welcome to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. Hello.

Hi. Thank you for that lovely introduction. You're very welcome. It's a long intro because you've done a lot. You've achieved a lot. By the way, dear listener, hang out to the very end of the episode because Kezia is going to share a very powerful tip, a powerful insight about women that you're going to want to hear. So stand by.

Okay, Kezia, here's the first question I want to ask you. Before we get into some advice on helping men flirt and date, can you tell me a little bit about your journey to becoming a dating expert? Was there a moment or a time in your life when you had an aha moment and said, oh, I really need to help men? I'm going to become a coach and an expert and a guide. How did that happen? Well, it didn't happen like that.

I was essentially headhunted, which sounds bizarre, but it's true. That's the closest way I can explain it. This was back in 2006. I was minding my own business and I was in a bar and a guy approached me and he said that he worked for or he was part of a company that helped men pick up women because this was 2006. So pick up was a thing, right? And we don't, I don't use that phrase anymore. But it was then and I was like, what is pick up? What's a pick up

artist? And he explained it to me, explained, look, we teach guys like how to pull women, essentially how to attract women. And I was a complete skeptic. I was like, you can't teach it either there's chemistry or there's nothing so he said well I've actually come over to approach you because I'd like you to come along to one of our workshops and to give feedback to the guys that are on our program on one of our boot camps because we're looking for like attractive young women I was an attractive young woman then, okay. So we have to give our feedback to the guys. Because we were talking a little bit and he found me very honest and direct and he said, look, that's really what we're looking for.

So I went there and thought, okay, let's just give this a go. And there were two things that I noticed pretty quickly, which was the first was that there were indeed practical tools, advice that you could give men that could really make a change. I saw that within the space of the time I was there. And the second thing that I noticed is that there were no women in this movement or industry or community, whatever you want to call it um the other women that were there were giving very um excuse me let me turn off my emails were giving very wishy-washy advice you know like uh just be yourself smile more be more confident

vague very vague because i think a lot of women are people pleasers essentially um whereas I've never been a people pleaser I've never felt the need to please other people I think that's probably a masculine trait in me um and so I was just very honest very direct and I left thinking okay um they're gonna come after me with pitchforks these guys but actually they all just were queuing up for like a personal one on one it's like what's that like I just came in to help today and get paid for a session um but then the owner of the company his name's Richard Larowina or some people know him as Gambler back from the day he said no we're really looking for this and we want you to like

come next weekend and do the same thing. So I was coming more regularly. And then I was like listening to what was being taught. And I didn't realize that I could really help men. But I realized that I loved human psychology, but not in the way that it's taught. You know, if you go to university, I like the kind of, I'm not going to lie, I like the manipulation tactics.

I like reverse psychology, just learning new ideas of how to... Can I swear on this or no? I won't if you don't want me to. Hell yeah, you can. How to mindfuck people and stuff. I found it really interesting. I found really interesting is how unattractive women and men got such good-looking guys and women. I wanted to know that and I'd seen it. I said, it's not looks, it's game. Because that's when I realized I didn't give it a name before. I'd just be like

sex appeal, psychology. But then I sort of put it all into game. And that's what I got really fascinated about. And I realized I was really good at it. Really good at spotting things, spotting what people were doing and breaking it down, like what the naturals were doing and passing it on. And because I was very honest and I was very I have a very unfiltered kind of presentation of my life and my opinions and uh I just felt it worked perfectly and it did because I started getting a name for myself it's like this is the go this is the go-to woman and then I set up a YouTube channel on the side which I wasn't really allowed to do but I wasn't under contract so I did this YouTube channel and it really took off and um I realized

okay there's there's millions of guys out there that want to hear an honest female insight you know they want they don't want the bullshit they want to hear the woman just giving it raw what do I do how does it make women feel and um I did that and then that got a lot of attraction and then I was approached by a publishing company here in the UK they offered me a book deal and then I left the company and set up my own company around 2011 when the book when I got the book deal and the media attention from that so that's that's like a very streamlined version of my story and how I got into this. What lights you up the most about your work with men?

When do you feel the best by helping these guys? I am very success-driven. I do want to see results. I don't get a lot from a guy going, oh, you know, that really helped me in terms of like theory. Like I get it now, Kezia. I want to see them actually get results and come back and say to me, I got laid last night. I met a beautiful woman and we went on a date. I'm very results focused and driven. So I prefer that rather than people just, I do like a compliment when someone

says like, I really value that theory that you've given and I'm going to put it into use. But I prefer it when they actually come back with the results. Absolutely. Are there any results, any specific clients, former, current, whoever that comes to your mind right now and makes you remember a moment where oh jake didn't know how to approach a woman and the next thing you know he's messaging you saying i'm lying in bed with the most beautiful woman today or whatever the story is do you have any fun success stories that this came yesterday uh tuesday i don't i don't want to show his name that's the thing this came tuesday which is hello don't know to show his name. That's the thing. This came Tuesday, which is two days ago. Hello. Don't know if you remember me, says his name. No, I don't remember him. I'm not going to

lie. I don't. I worked with you some 15 years ago when I had gone through a breakup. You worked with me and I came out the other side. I doubt you get many people thanking you, but I am. I've just gone through my 10th year happily married. Together I am where I am because you worked magic with me. Wow. Look, we have lots of video testimonials of guys going, you know, I dated a model by the end of the seven-day mastery program. But kind of like these little intimate messages that I get on my phone

or on my, you private you know dms on instagram I mean a lot weddings pictures of their their babies even it's really nice it's great yeah I remember the first baby I helped bring into the world the only baby I've ever brought into the world in any way because I'm not a father and my client Michael sent me a picture of his new Baby, and I thought oh my god. I kind of helped do that I'm not blocking the cock. I'm guiding his cock not blocking it like like i think the quote is from 40 year old virgin don't don't block the cock guide the cock so that makes me feel amazing well let's talk about some good game let's talk about what it takes to get these results that you're so proud to get your clients

i was checking out your ebook last night which is a great super fast download 10 rapid one i've got which one oh it's the the one the first one that popped up on your website called 10 rapid ways to get a woman oh yeah okay fine we wrote that a long time ago yeah yeah it but it's a quick download it took 10 minutes to read it there's a couple tips in it that i really liked that i had never heard before and i wanted to run a couple by you and ask you why why this works and one of the tips in your e-book was what you call the double-sided compliment. Yes. Could you give an example of what the double-sided compliment is and how to use that on a woman you're talking to?

So it's a form of validation, positive validation. A double-sided compliment is a mix mix actually of positive and negative i should say so um if you say to a woman um i think you'd look better if you wore those kind of shoes that's kind of like an insult almost right you've got to cushion the blow so you say look those shoes look really good on you but if you were wearing and then you put in the type of shoe or it could be dress or anything that you find sexy then you say to her if you were wearing these kind of shoes x you know dot dot dot i would be totally making a move on you or i wouldn't be able to control myself so it's also a form of sexual escalation you are flirting with her but you're not saying to her

i want you quite yet you are titillating her you are teasing her and women respond very very well to that but you need that cushion to begin with you need to say you look good but you can't just go in straight for you should be wearing this because she can translate that as an attack and then you get the hostile reaction you don't want a hostile reaction i like that a lot i like it because as i read that to me if if i'm saying to a woman oh i really I really like those shoes. Yet if you were wearing XYZ, you'd look even more amazing. To me, that's sending a message to her that says, I'm liking you, but I have high standards and I could like you even more. In other words, I'm not. Is that part of it? It's doing that, but it's also saying, yeah, you've got boxes that need

to be ticked and you know what you want sexually. You're just lacing it with, you know, just that. It's just that tease. OK, it's very important at the beginning. So, yeah, I love double sided compliments. I think people should use them much more. Yeah, I'm a fan early on in a date or especially a first date or a first approach. Something to what I call a negative spike, something that's a tease or a little date or a first approach something to what i call a negative spike

something that's a tease or a little bit of a challenge just to show just to show i'm a nice guy a kind guy but also i have some edge i have some self-confidence i think that's very important it's it's also just um to go a little bit of a deep dive on it it's it's kind of showing the shadow side which is something i teach about how to use the shadow of a deep dive on it, it's kind of showing the shadow side, which is something I teach about how to use the shadow side to seduce a woman. And it's very important that if you are that kind, great guy, that you show the element of the bad guy, you know, or the very sexual guy. And it's that polarity and contrast that make women go crazy.

Polarity. That's the magic word. like i love that you must know your psychology you know you're carl jung do you have you studied some psychology the dark side i know of some of the theories but i know no i tried to i have a lot of friends uh who've been to psychologists i have a lot of clients who went and most of times it does not help them I Just don't I'm interested into it to a certain degree But I just have learnt so much psychology from hanging around strip clubs from honestly like

Ridiculous level of psychology there from hanging around people who are marketers salespeople game pickup artists these people know psychology because they practice it. It's not just theory. They can look at the things that are theory and go, that's crap, let's get rid of that. That's good in theory or it's good in this situation. It's not good in that situation. So I prefer to be with people who understand psychology but not from a book. They've done it, you know, they've experienced it and they live through it and go no, this is bullshit, this does not work, okay. You know, like some people that, I'm trying to find

a really like basic, like basic psychology would be like, oh you need to mirror the person and i'm just thinking it doesn't work it's it doesn't not it doesn't not help but it doesn't work so waste your time on that you know let's work on this instead if that makes sense right i agree that part of why i got addicted to learning about this when i was a student of experts was yeah my dating results were getting better which felt incredible but i was fascinated by how the mind works, how to persuade people how to essentially understand sort of seeing the matrix of psychology in terms of practical human interactions. I was fascinated by it. Like, for instance, you know, like I have this thing where I don't want to talk about to it, I've got a video coming out about it, but's reverse psychology how to use anti-cell right how to sort of go the opposite and undersell yourself on purpose like try and put the person

off you now they would never teach that in a psychology book but it's fucking powerful when you know how to do it and it's got some rules to it and things but i've been using it now for about a year i'm passing it on like sort of in private with people. And they're like, wow, this stuff is real. It works. But again,

you would not find that in a book. Like, Oh no, always, you know, oversell yourself and show your best possible self. And it's like, no,

you've got to use a bit of this other stuff also in the mix, which doesn't make sense on paper, but does work when you do it correctly. Yeah. Well paper, you know, there's the map and then there's the actual terrain of life. And what works on paper in a book is very different than what would work in life, which is why you got to get out there and have the real life interactions. You struggle with dating, right?

Sure. You have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt, the apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating. Hey, I struggled with dating too. As an introvert and a total nerd, I didn't just live in the friend zone, I owned real estate there. But I escaped, using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love. It's what I wrote about in my best-selling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't. And radical authenticity is why psychology today called me the best dating coach in America.

And now I want to personally help you attract your dream girlfriend. So go to datingtransformation.com and book a free call with me. On our call, I'll tell you how my one-on-one coaching will help you find your dream girlfriend, and you'll be doing it by flirting with confidence and authenticity. No creepy pickup tricks needed. So go to datingtransformation.com, book a free call today, and let my personalized coaching help you get a great girlfriend. There's one other tip I wanted to ask you to talk a little bit about from that 10 Rapid Ways book, which is a free, instant, great download on your website. You talk about the importance of breaking patterns, conversation patterns with women on first dates or in those first conversations. And instead of asking cliched questions like, oh, how long have you been at your job?

Or what do you like about what you do? To break the pattern and ask questions like, if you had a zero chance of failure, what would you love to do most in the world? Can you talk about why we wanna break patterns, why men wanna break patterns with women in terms of those early conversations on a date? Well, because women have been on so many dates and what they do is women like to categorize men.

And if the man is asking the same kind of tired, unimaginative questions that all the other guys have been asking, then she's not going to be on her toes. She's going to be in, you know, I call it autopilot mode, where she's not making making the effort because she's kind of already been through that. She's gone through the motions and she's already kind of got the outcome of how it's going to end. Oh, he's going to ask me this now. And his response is going to be A, B and C. So it becomes predictable. Women like excitement. They like excitement more than men do. Okay. Men don't want a headache. Men want someone nice, calm, and compliant. Women want excitement much more than men. And it has to be, they have to feel stimulated emotionally

and mentally. That doesn't mean you have to have this very serious highfalutin conversation about something that's very deep. No, I don't mean that, but it just means about making her, forcing her to have to think, forcing her. If she has to think, it means she has to invest. And if she's investing, it means that she's trying to impress you on some level. So it's very much pattern breaking is not just about asking an interesting question. It's about your interesting responses. So we could take a very, you know, two things that are always going to come up in conversation is where you're from and what do you do so we know that those two questions are going to come up and i'm not telling anyone that

they shouldn't be asking those questions but it's very easy for those questions to end up in a boring conversation so let's say like most of my students work in it but the first thing will be like what do you do he says it and she will just give a very polite unimaginative response which is like oh you know do you like it and most of the time the guy will go yeah it's okay or it's all right you know and that's it that's already the conversation's gone but if he turned around and just said you you know what? I love it and I hate it. Immediately, she's curious because people don't answer like that. It's an unusual answer. It's not a weird, crazy, you know, fucked up answer.

We don't want those. It's just a little bit unusual and it's going to just reel her in, her curiosity. Oh, what do you mean? Like, what do you love and hate about it and then from there the guy can start talking about things which have nothing to do with his job you know i love it because i get to do a b and c and that's a reflection then of something that's positive about him but i hate it because this is what i really want to do this is what i'm super passionate about so we're already taking it from it which no

one really wants to talk about to this fun interesting information is this high value data about myself kezia i love that answer but i also hated it a little bit of why did you hate it you see immediately i want to know why do you hate it? Okay, that's a lie. I actually loved it. I loved it because it's very similar to something I coach. I do a little exercise with my guys. I call it the love-hate cafe. We imagine we're sitting in a cafe or they're sitting in a cafe with a woman and whatever topic that comes up, they have to tell that woman why they both love and hate that thing. So that paradox is two contrasting emotions, love and hate. So opposite, right? When you put them together, to your point, it creates something interesting that a woman's not expecting to hear. And it's also honest. Most people don't love everything about their job or

hate everything about their job. Life is nuanced. And it's also emotional. Loving and hating is more interesting than informational exchanges about what you do. Yeah, it is unfiltered. And that's very important because women want to have that very authentic, unfiltered conversation with a man. And it just shows that he's just, that's his truth, and he's unapologetic for it. Well, you just said the magic word for me. I'm all about authenticity and helping a man channel that real raw self. Can you talk a little bit from your point of view, why, if and how rawness, realness, authenticity, why does that work in dating or how can it work? I think it's important. Okay. So I do show guys how to bring their more appealing qualities forward

and some of the less appealing qualities, like keep them in the back burner. But that's more things such as not like personal achievements and things. Maybe they haven't achieved a lot in their life. Maybe they're still living at home with their parents. I don't say to them that you've got to cover that. It's more that you've got, because that's you, that's your reality, that's the position you're in. It's how you communicate it.

So if you do anything with shame or embarrassment, then that's going to translate as I'm an ashamed person. I'm embarrassed. I'm not happy. And all these, these are the things that women don't find attractive in a man but if you said for instance yeah i i don't really have a very good job but i've chosen that because i don't want to be on the rat race like everybody else i look at everybody else every day getting on the train stuck in a little office no way not for me now she might think again on paper yeah well that guy going in on the train every day he's you know

he's got drive he's he's going somewhere and you're just slobbing about sure sure she might think that however she will not think that you're ashamed or that you are trying to sort of like get in her good books, tell her what she wants to hear. So you have that pride and that can work. That can work more than the guy who's doing all the right stuff, but he's deeply unhappy and he's insecure and all the rest of the stuff. It's better to have both of those things but if you aren't i don't say to guys oh pretend you've got a fancy job just just tell like i sit down with them and go why are you doing this dead-end job why like what's the reason for it and a lot of the time they come up with a pretty good reason which is i don't want to be a slave to work i

said well that's beautiful that's's interesting. That's wow. Okay, so you're a bit of like one of those kind of guys. Okay, sell it, let's do it. You know, don't be ashamed of it. So that's the way that I try and get them to be authentic. I love that. Yeah, well talking about, oh, I don't wanna be a slave to the rat race, so I do X, Y, Z, because I'm about freedom.

I'm about being free. Repackaging. Int an attractive way to talk about why you don't have a boring job. To me, it's all about emotional conversation that's genuine, but also compelling to that woman. Yeah. And it's very important to always tap into the woman's emotional buying motives rather than her rational buying motive so again yes as you said speaking with emotional language works better with women they're not for them lust and attraction is not rational at all it's purely emotional so yeah I agree just tap into the emotional narrative earlier you mentioned how looks don't really matter that

much, or they're way overrated. Talk a little bit about how important looks are or aren't to women in terms of a guy getting a great girlfriend, having a great dating life. So looks, a good looking guy has to do less at the beginning, less than a less good-looking guy just a caveat though a lot of good-looking guys doesn't mean that it's going to be every woman's type but certainly i've seen some men and the women are just oh he's so good looking i'm like i don't know what i'm looking at here like have i missed something so that does happen just to put that little caveat in but let's just take like the average very good-looking guy that appeals to most women he has to do so much less and he will get away with so much more i'm sorry to say that guys that's the truth however he doesn't have the same length of time

to make a mistake like a beautiful woman has okay he is maybe five ten let's just say five minutes he has to ride on his looks ride that wave beautiful woman can ride in that way for months and just be a total bitch and not have anything interesting to say because men are much more governed by how a woman looks so yes it's important but i don't want men to internalize this and see it from their point of view as oh but a beautiful woman you know can get away with everything yeah not a beautiful man so looks are important um but what's more important than how the man makes her feel i met a man recently i swear not my type at all I wouldn't even say he's good looking, let alone like not my type. And I'm thinking about him now.

He's got a little bit stuck in my head. That's what happens with women. You get in their heads, you know, and it's an emotional feeling. Because male desire and female desire just operate completely differently. Completely differently. And so that's something I teach, obviously, to understand how female desire works. No, I totally get it.

I mean, I'm not bad looking, but I basically look like Ron Weasley's brother or the lead singer from Weezer. But I can get in a woman's head in a way that makes her feel really good and she'll look at me like I'm Brad Pitt, even though I'm not. See, I get into a man's head I get these young guys and they like ask me out and then you know during the day I realize they've all got this thing in common which is they've all got a crush on Jennifer Aniston

oh we're here again are we it's like yeah and not when she's in friends how she is now like oh I'm like oh great you get the Jennifer Aniston thing so men are very visual they'll go on a date with me because I kind of look like Jennifer Aniston a bit right I get the uh Prince Harry thing every now and then oh you're like Prince Harry I'm like yeah I'm like a very poor Prince Harry compared to him but I'll take it I'll take any edge I can get. If it works, it works, right? Absolutely. If it works, it works. Don't fast forward.

This is not an ad. It's a free thing that's going to help you flirt with confidence. Because I'll bet that you struggle with what to say to women and how to flirt, right? Well, let's fix that. I'm going to give you what I call the

flirty 30. These are 30 flirty questions to ask women on the apps or on dates or when you approach so that you can confidently connect with cool, sexy women starting today. It's time to stop running out of things to say and start asking them flirty questions that are going to make them want to date you. So to get your copy of the Flirty 30, it's totally free. Just go to datingtransformation.com slash flirty30. And that's F-L-I-R-T-Y 3-0. Datingtransformation.com slash flirty30. You're about to start confidently flirting with women, going on dates, and soon getting a great girlfriend. Go get your flirty30. A couple final points here and we can wrap up. Your YouTube channel has some really great videos. There's a couple of videos that have 8, 9,

10 million views. And I was looking at one of your videos a couple of days ago. You do a good video with one of your coaches named Mark J. Video is called The Best Way to Approach Girls. And I was watching that video because a lot of guys come to me today in 2024 in the Me Too era. And they say, oh, I can't approach girls. It's creepy. It's wrong. It's weird. I can't do it. I assume you have a different viewpoint on that. Is it okay to approach women? And if so, what's the right way to do it it's 100 okay to approach a woman um we've been doing this now since 2000 since 2006 which is before the me too movement and hashtag me too movement after that you know we we've never the most we've ever had is a girl say i'm not interested no slapping in the face

no calling the police no running down the street screaming nothing like this just literally sorry not interested and we even know things to say to make them interested if they say i'm not interested right um so no i think in fact it's gone the other way women are absolutely dying to meet men this way they're sick of dating apps my sister and her friend in their early 30s they're going to an event called i hate dating apps they've quit i'm like everyone's quitting the dating apps they have had enough of them they are horrible things these dating apps and they're all wanting that story of, hey, you know, I met this guy. He just approached me in the park. They want that story more now than ever.

Because during the pandemic, it reached breaking point. The dating apps and Zoom. I mean, we're doing Zoom now. It's very useful. But everything was on Zoom. Everything was online. And it just hit, like, peak, I can't do this anymore. And people are just looking for those organic ways to meet people now hundreds this is the best time actually this is the best

time since fading apps came out i would say i agree with you a million percent that this is the best time to approach women because if you're the 800th guy who swipes right on her on Tinder or Hinge, she won't even see your profile. If you're that one guy who charmingly comes up to her and chats and has some good game, oh, my God, you're going to give her that rom-com movie moment. Especially you've got more chance if you're not good-looking. If you're a good-looking guy on the apps, when I say good-looking,

I'm talking about the top 5% here. Yeah, you'll clean up. You'll clean up. But if you're below average or average even, forget it. It's much better to go and approach a woman because there's so much more she can understand about you from the approach. A lot of the guys that I've dated, my first impression of them wasn't great. And then after a few minutes I was like okay things have changed now and also if I'd seen a photograph of them online I would never have

agreed to go on a date with them really not my type um but it was just like the way that they operated the room the way they spoke to me made me feel the way they ordered the drinks the after shave they were wearing you know human beings human beings are multidimensional. So is attraction. And it's all being reduced to a photograph. And a photograph that's not even an accurate likeness of us anymore. None of us look like our photos. Do you remember like in the old days when we had bad photos?

And we had to say to the other person, look, they look better than their photo. We were setting up people with dates because we all took bad photographs. Now you have to sit there and go, look, okay, she or he doesn't quite look like that photograph. So it's already like you're starting from a down point, you know, like a minus. Because you meet the person who's like, oh, you're 10 times bigger than you said you are, 10 times older, whatever it is, you know. Okay, let's part. Speaking of finishing strong, let's finish strong with a parting tip.

Earlier, I teased a powerful insight. It could be about approaching. It could be about mindset. It could be anything that you think the introverted nice guy listening to this episode should know about women or approaching or dating. What is your parting tip for our listener? I'm stuck between two, but but i'm gonna go for one because

i did mention about like if a woman says i'm not interested what to say yeah what do you say when she says that so let's and we've been doing this for ages and it's had really good response rate so let's say you see two women and they're chatting in a bar and you approach them and they're like she goes no no thank you i we're talking. Rather than just walking off, like feeling sorry for yourself or apologising or being aggressive, just say, no problem. I just wanted to come over and say, I think you're absolutely stunning. Have a beautiful night and then walk away. Because you've taken that moment to flip it and show her what she's missing so you have to

say this with regal confidence regal confidence she's not expecting you to respond like that first of all so it makes her go huh and secondly you're showing how confident you are and she's watching this thinking oh shit oh shit this this one's going now. And then she sees you operating the rest of the room, talking to people. You don't go back to her. Don't ever go back to her. She has a very high chance of coming back to you. She'll either smile, look at you,

or she might even, as you're leaving, say, oh, I'm sorry, I was a bit rude. Come join us. So that's a good little trick, guys. That's fantastic. I did that once, not knowing, I probably got it from you 15 years ago. But I did that once.

Five minutes after, I said, OK, fine. Have a good night. You're beautiful. Tap, tap, tap on my shoulder. And she came back. And all of a sudden, it was on. So thank you. OK.

OK. If a man listening to this would like to work with you or learn more about you or take a program, I understand you do training in London. I understand a man can work with you or your team from home. How can people work with you or learn more about you? Yeah, just go to the website, kezia-noble.com. You'll find out more information about my seven-day mastery program and my online acceleration home training program and everything is one-on-one we don't do boot camps or anything so it's going to be you me uh or you and the coach just one-on-one and uh yeah check out all the testimonials we've received over

the years and you'll find like at least one of them will resonate with you personally because we've just helped hundreds of men from across the globe, a range of different sticking points and from different cultural backgrounds and age groups. So, yeah, that's my that's my website. Check it out. Do you still offer training in in London, which would happen in London? Yes, I do. Great. I recommend that because I once took a training course in London, not with you, but I took a training course there. It was such a great experience being in London, British accents. Oh my gosh, I fell in love so many times. So working on this in London is a great option if you are able to travel. Okay. Thank you, Kezia, so much for being here. You were fantastic. Thank you.

Yeah. By the way, if you like this episode, please leave me a review or share it with a guy who needs a boost of dating help. And if you didn't love this episode, leave me some feedback or tell me why you loved and hated it. Just like Kezia told us to talk about loving and hating. Anyway, thank you for listening. And remember, your dream girlfriend, she's out there. She's going to love you. She just has to meet the real authentic you. So go take authentic action. Carpe datum. Seize the date. See you next time.