How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - Ask the Dating Coach! “Help! How Do I Stop Getting Friend Zoned on First Dates?”

Episode Date: August 11, 2023

We open up the “Ask the Dating Coach” mailbag to help you solve your most vexing dating questions. “How do I flirt over text?” “How do I stop getting friend-zoned on first dates?” “Why do women not reply to my openers?” “How do I stop fearing rejection so I can confidently approach?” And more. Dating coach Connell Barrett has fixes to all of these problems, so you can take your dating life to the next level. Listen now!FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL, TO LEARN HOW TO ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO WOMEN: http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactGET CONNELL’S NO. 1 BESTSELLING GUIDE FOR MEN, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T,” YOUR PRACTICAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND BY BEING RADICALLY AUTHENTIC:www.amazon.com/Dating-Sucks-but-You-Dont-ebook/dp/B08LDZL3Quotes"When flirting with your crush, don't be too sexual too soon. Be a charming PG-rated rom-com, not Cinemax After Dark."- Connell Barrett "Text flirting is an art. Use humor, intrigue, and teasing to create a magnetic connection that keeps her engaged and excited." Connell BarretFeatured in the episodeConnell BarrettFounder and Executive Coach of Dating TransformationWebsite: https://datingtransformation.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformationChapters: 00:22 - Introduction01:20 - The Flirting Dilemma: Expert Tips to Break the Silence03:17 - The Science of Friendly and Flirty Communication08:04 - Flirting 101: Clarity Over Cleverness09:51 - Openers That Work: Captivating Her Attention with Words11:21 - PG and G-Rated: Navigating the Flirting Spectrum14:02 - Navigating the Line: Joking Without Crossing Boundaries15:43 - Sending the Right Image to Spark Interest18:48 - Adding Playful Bragging to Your Text Flirting20:23 - Mastering the Emojiverse: Crafting Memorable Flirty Texts23:36 - How Your Voice Elevates Flirty Conversations25:19 - Voice Notes: Unlocking Self-Confidence and Dating Success30:23 - Cracking the Code of Escaping the Friend Zone32:33 - Confidence through Posture: The Masculine Stance37:43 - Outro

Think charm, not smarm. That's going to be my platform if I ever run for president. Think charm, not smarm. Welcome to the Dating Transformation Podcast. Here's your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. All right. Welcome back to the Dating Transformation Podcast. I am your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you learn to flirt, gain confidence, get lots of dates, and attract an amazing girlfriend. And do it all by being radically authentic. No creepy pickup artist moves. No need to take her to your seduction location and execute moves. It's all about showing your real best awesome self. And this week on the pod, we're going to do one of my favorite things, which is a little thing I call ask the dating coach. I get a lot of questions from y'all and I like to take the time about once a

month to answer some of your biggest problems, biggest questions. Because if you're like a lot of guys, you struggle with things like how to flirt. What do I say? I'm not sure how to message women. I'm not sure how to text them. How do you approach? And anyway, I like to just take it one question at a time and let's get to it. Here we go. Let's start with, let's open up the mailbag. I wish I had a mailbag sound effect or a mailbox sound effect. Here's the question from Harold. Harold's a 35-year-old in New York City who asks, hey, Connell, I'm having a dating problem. When I get a woman's number on the dating apps, I'm getting a lot of women's numbers on the dating apps, but when I do,

she almost always goes quiet and she's losing interest as we text. It's very frustrating to have good matches go nowhere. How do I flirt better over text? Okay, great question, Harold. And I totally feel you. It really stings to finally get a match on Hinge, on Bumble, on whatever app it is, and you're excited about her, and then you get a phone number, which is another great feeling. It's like, oh my gosh, this woman just gave me her phone number. And then you start texting either on the app or perhaps you

start texting on each other's phones, and then she goes quiet. You get that so close but so far feeling. So to help you stop getting ghosted and start getting more dates, here are a few quick tips. I'm going to give you some do's and don'ts. Before I do, first, I just want to define what flirting is. What is flirting? What does that even mean? My definition of flirting is flirting is playfully, charmingly conveying your interest, your romantic interest in a woman in a very light but clear manner. Light and clear, and of course, not vulgar. What's the difference between friendly and flirty? Friendly and flirty have a big overlap because of course you're going to be friendly as you flirt with a girl, whether it's in person or

by text, but you want to make that interest clear. We want to give women the gift of clarity. I talk a lot in my book and on the podcast about what's called man-to-woman communication. Man-to-woman communication is basically talking to, communicating with women in a way that lets it be clear that you're interested and that you talk to her in a way that ignites the good feminine feels we want a woman to feel while you are being authentic and masculine and genuine and just kind of saying, hey, I'm a man, you're a woman, let's make this happen if we're both into it. So the first rule of flirting is clarity combined with a light playfulness and of course a non-vulgarity aspect.

And the great news is these days you can text using your words. You can text in a lot of ways, right? You can use your words. You can use your voice using voice notes. Obviously you can send photographs. I don't mean dick pics unless she requests it explicitly. But I'm talking about photos of you doing something cool, emojis. We have so many tools that make flirting a lot easier than it ever used to be. Now, many men try to flirt, but they either fawn over their crush, meaning they kind of gush and put her above them. Like, oh, my God, you're so beautiful. You're so amazing. That's a mistake you don't want to make.

Or other guys just come across as merely friendly, but not putting that clear, romantic, authentic interest on the table. So they boringly rely on cliches like, hey, how's your day? How are you? And those are ineffective strategies. So those are the don'ts. Well, those are some of the don'ts. So let me share a handful of do's and don'ts for Harold to help him flirt better over text, help you flirt better over text. So some do's and don'ts. First, do make your interest clear. You want your crush to know that you're flirting with her and not to confuse it with mere friendliness. I'm going to read your mind. Ready? I'll bet that you would love to confidently approach women, get great matches on the dating apps, flirt with charm and attract your dream girlfriend. Right? But fear

keeps you from approaching. You're not sure how to flirt. You struggle on the apps and desirable women just don't seem into you. Well, I have great news. Dating coach Conal Barrett can help. He's guided thousands of men like you to more confidence and help them attract their dream girlfriends. So book a free strategy call today to see if Conal's coaching is right for you. On your call, Conal or a team member will give you personalized advice to help you have more confidence, more dates, and more fun. Oh, and you'll be dating women as your best self, a charming gentleman. That's because Connell does not teach creepy pickup artist tricks. He unlocks your most confident self, so you can make authentic romantic connections.

Your next steps? book your free call today at datingtransformation.com forward slash contact and grab a time that works for you then you'll be on your way to more confidence better results and attracting bright beautiful women oh so you know soon connell will stop taking on new clients. So book a call today while you still can. Go to datingtransformation.com forward slash contact and transform your love life. Bye. Because if she doesn't know you're flirting, then guess what? It won't be effective. She'll get confused. It's the difference between writing, I can't stop thinking about you, as opposed to, hey, I was just thinking about you, right?

I might tell my sister, I was just thinking about you. I would not tell my sister, I can't stop thinking about you. Not without her wondering, are you okay, Connell? So make your interest clear. Now, cleverness is a nice bonus. A lot of guys want to flirt in a very funny way, which I can certainly help you with. But clarity comes first. Clarity before clever. So when in doubt, just say to somebody something simple and clear like, hey, by the way, I'm really liking you. I'm enjoying our conversation. You're really sweet. You're really adorable. Or hey, you know what's really

attractive about you? It's the way you blank. I remember I matched with a woman on Bumble back, it was right after the pandemic ended. It was my first, sorry, my second post-pandemic date. And we were just having a really fun, flirty back and forth. And I said, hey, by the way, I just love flirting with you. You're really funny. I love the way you text. You give good text. And she responded with like five heart eye emojis.

So yeah, put that, make that romantic interest clear. Make that romantic interest clear. Play a card. Play a clear card. Don't hold those cards close to your vest. Okay. That's a do. Here's a don't. Don't use boring openers if we're talking about online dating, most women are tired of hearing hi, hey, how's your day and the like as openers. So avoid lazy cliches. The best openers are personalized. And the best openers also give her something in a sense, like a joke, a compliment, a fun, interesting question that she wants to answer. The biggest game-changing tip I can give you for texting in general, especially for openers, is make your text messages something that give her a smile or seeking to give her a smile. You're seeking to

make her interested, smile, laugh, maybe create curiosity and get her spark some curiosity in her mind. Think of it as giving value, giving something that engages her, as opposed to how's your day? So instead of how's your day, think about, I don't know, like how did you name your dog? Or if she's a wine expert, you could say, oh, since you're a wine expert, I'm curious, what's your favorite wine bar and why? Yeah, cliches kill chemistry. So keep things light and personalized, and that will help you make sparks fly and personalized towards her in a way that will hopefully make her smile. Okay, another don't is don't get too sexual too soon. Early on, you want to keep your text messages G-rated or maybe PG, depending on your personality

and your flirting style. Getting too sexual too soon can come across as vulgar. So think charm and not smarm. Think charm, not smarm. That's going to be my, my platform. If I ever run for president, think charm, not smarm. Uh, yeah. What's G rated. Hey, you're adorable. You're so cute. Oh my God. I'm so, I'm so glad we matched. You seem really cool. Uh, PG would be something like, whoa, you look incredible. You look sexy AF in that outfit. Or you have incredible style. You just made my iPhone melt. PG would be, I like this one. PG would be, let's say the girl has a really cute bikini shot. Be like, hey, Jessica, damn, that pic of you on the beach, you just melted my iPhone. You owe me $1,200. Venmo or PayPal? So now you're adding, you're conveying your sexual interest,

but you're doing it with innuendo, but not with vulgarity. Okay. Next tip, do playfully tease her. Playfully tease your crush. Text that playfully tease a woman can absolutely amplify the sparks. Like think of the smitten schoolboy who pulls the pigtails of the girl he likes, right? Now, the secret with teasing is you want to tease her about small, light topics that she would not get upset about. So think like, oh, her favorite foods, her favorite movies. You might say, like, what? Your favorite movie ever is Pirates of the Caribbean? Oh, my God. I was really liking you until you said that. I didn't realize you were a Johnny Depp fan. I might have to ghost you now. LOL. Smiley face. So that tease,

basically you're saying playfully, you're saying your movie choices mean you're not somebody I want to date, but it's a hundred percent of joke. Okay. You are not at any moment trying to make her think you actually feel that it's a hundred percent of a tease. And again, it has to be crystal clear. If a woman thinks you're actually saying, Hey, I don't want to date you, you watch, you like the Pirates of the Caribbean, then you're going to hurt her feelings and she's going to bounce. So again, when you're teasing, that universal rule is clarity comes first. Make it clear it's a joke or a tease. When in doubt, if you're cracking a joke, make an LOL, laughing emoji. This will take practice. By the way, it's okay to mess up a little bit.

Clarity comes first. Cleverness comes distant third at best. Oh, a quick PS on how to tease. So we want to tease about surface level behavioral things, not more core issues about them as a person. Never tease her about potential sore spots, like her weight, her physical appearance, her pets. Again, unless you make it crystal clear that it's a joke. You'd never, you'd never want to tease a woman about her looks. Almost never. Unless it's a, unless it's like an ironic kind of text. Like, let's say she's just a total lights out model, bikini clad runway walk stunner. And there's a photo where you say, oh, hey, wow, you look terrible

in this photo. I give you a two out of 10. Even that, make sure he knows it's a joke. But there are some exceptions to that rule. But basically, you want to totally avoid things like looks, pet, weights, her weight. Sorry. That'll backfire. I remember I had a client once who accidentally, he was too harshly teasing a girl about her dog, her dog's appearance. He compared it to a rodent, and it killed the vibe. Because think about it.

A girl's dog is like her little child. He was basically saying you have a hideous child. So he meant well, but he was joking about something that had a deeper meaning to her. So tease about surface level things. Some more do's and don'ts about texting. Do use photos. A picture is worth a

thousand words, right? And the right flirty picture is worth a thousand texts. A picture is worth a thousand words and the right flirty picture is worth a thousand texts. Visuals resonate more than words, right? So sending the right photo can make a really good impact. You know, that's going to catch her eye more so than the perfect words would, right? So maybe you got a cool tattoo, right? Or maybe you're texting about tattoos. She's got cool tattoos and you have a tattoo you're proud of. Take a selfie of your tattoo.

Take a selfie of your tattoo and say, hey, I think my tat beats your tat. My tattoo kicks your tattoo's butt. Or maybe, I don't know, you're at a cool venue, right? You're doing something really cool. Like you're at a beach, you're on a boat, you're at a cool venue, right? You're doing something really cool. Like you're at a beach, you're on a boat, you're at a cool, classy lounge with an amazing view. Feel free to take like a cool selfie of you having fun in that environment

or a picture of the environment and you could send that to her and say... Rejection, ghosting, loneliness, lack of dates and lack of confidence. For many men, dating just sucks. But it doesn't have to. There's a simple yet powerful way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend. Be radically authentic. It's all laid out in the number one Amazon best-selling

book, Dating Sucks But You Don't, your step-by-step guide to attracting wonderful women and doing it with total authenticity. Author and dating coach Conal Barrett has had and fixed all the dating problems that you struggle with. He's also helped thousands of men gain confidence and find love. He's put his best tips and strategies into Dating Sucks But You Don't so that you can confidently approach women and get dates. Become magnetic and attractive, even if you're not tall or great looking. always know what to say to make sparks fly. Get lots of great matches and dates on the dating apps and attract your dream woman. You can find Dating Sucks But You Don't on Amazon or wherever books are sold in paperback,

Kindle and audiobook. Get Dating Sucks But You Don't today to transform your confidence and find your dream girl. Hey, I bet my Friday night's beating your Friday night, winky face. Or you could do a more heartfelt version of that. If you have a dog or cats, that's money in the bank. Sending photos of your dog or cat doing weird, silly, goofy things is almost guaranteed to get a response. And you probably have felt how nice it is when a woman sends you a photo, right? I remember a woman I dated, she once sent me, she's going out for the night on a Friday night without me. And she sent me a photo and she looked dynamite in a tight skirt and looked incredible. And she just sent me a selfie saying, here I am looking like a total snack.

And yeah, I couldn't get her out of my mind for the whole night. So maybe you look like a snack. If you look like a snack, take a selfie and send her that photo. You could even say that. Hey, what's up, Debra? Here I am looking like a snack. That's actually pretty funny. That's called cheeky comedy or cocky comedy would be the term for

that here in the dating coach world, where you are basically bragging a little bit about how great you are or how good you look in this case. And with, with the light touch that can actually be very, really attractive to women because that comes from a confident place. So yeah, feel free to send her a photo of you looking like a snack. Just make sure you look like a snack and that you don't look like a bowl of soup. Okay. Next one. Don't. Next don't is don't forget to use emojis. It's really easy to have miscommunications over text.

And emojis can come to the rescue. They can make otherwise kind of just friendly messages, kind of friend-zoning messages feel very flirty. The right emoji adds the right kind of light, playful tone that you want to a flirty message. And you might get in your head about like which ones to use. Go-to emojis are the winky face emoji, the heart eye emoji, and the very underrated upside down smiling emoji. There's something really cool about the

upside down smiling emoji. It's just very playful and silly. It's not that flirtatious, but it does create those good emotions. Another one I like is, I'm not sure what it's called, but it's the smiling emoji where it's like the biggest ear to ear smile, or it's just like a giant never been happier smile. That's a funny emoji to use. Ironically, if you send her some bad news you just read or got, that'll make her smile and laugh. So for example, so I have to have a root canal done. I recently texted my girlfriend, hey, good news. I'm getting a root canal. Giant, smiling, huge, smiling emoji. Obviously ironic. I don't want a root canal, but it's going to happen. So yeah, you could use like,

hey, guess what? I'm getting audited. Giant, smiling emoji. Right? Oh, hey, guess what? There's a tornado headed to my house. Anything that is not happy, you can use the giant ear-to-ear grinning emoji, and that'll make her laugh. And one more tip here, Harold. Man, I didn't realize I was going to go so deep for you, Harold. I hope this is helping. Another do, do use audio messages when you're texting. Don't settle just for text messages alone. Use your phone or your app or your app's audio feature to send vocal notes. Very few things are sexier to a woman who's into you or into your type than hearing your voice, right? That can really dial up romantic tension. Think about any times a woman you've been talking to sends you a voice message. Don't you love hearing her voice, her feminine, soft, sexy, sultry voice? I assume you

do. It goes the same way for women. I remember, yeah, I remember this woman I was messaging with. We were keeping it very light, very friendly. I wasn't even flirting that hardcore, but I was sending her audio messages. And she said, by the way, you have a really sexy voice. I said, what do you mean? I was totally fishing for a compliment. She said, oh, you have like a sexy school teacher voice. And then I got to the message back. Oh, well, I might just have to keep you after class and write some things on the chalkboard since you've been bad. And the flirting took off from there. So yeah, use your voice. A couple tips. Keep your audio notes short, way less than 60 seconds. I would say 30 seconds is good. You don't want to be rambling forever. Less is more.

Maybe I would say 30 to 60 seconds is a good sweet spot, but less is more. I would say 30, unless you have something great to say. Also try to sound as natural and relaxed as possible. You want to be as loose as possible. It's not so much what you say with the text message. I'm sorry, with the audio message. It's how you say it. It's your tone of voice. And so to help you loosen up,

what you could do is you could send a test audio message to yourself, listen to it, or send it to a friend and tell them what they think just to get your voice relaxed and relaxed. And then once you feel like, okay, this sounds good, then mirror that tone when sending her the audio. At the same time, it's okay to practice sending an audio. I don't recommend that you literally practice the words. You don't want to sound rehearsed. You want it to just come out of the moment, not something that you're reading or that you practiced. So just remember that sending a voice note projects real self-confidence, and self-confidence is sexy as hell. Okay, next question here for today's Ask the Dating Coach. This comes from

Gary in Yonkers, New York, who asks, hey, Connell, this happens all the time. I see that incredible woman who I'd love to approach, but I just can't go and break the ice with her. It's driving me crazy. How do I get over my fear of rejection? Great question, Gary. Gary, I think you need to apply my universal rejection rule. This is a firewall that basically protects your mental software from indulging in that fear of rejection. Now, by the way, before I share it, just a quick little note. The goal here is not to completely eliminate feeling rejected. You're human. You're allowed to get bummed out if a girl you talk to isn't into you. But what you want to do is minimize that pain and refocus on achieving your dating goals. So here is your universal rejection rule.

This is like a booster shot for your mindset. Here it is. Quote, I will only feel rejection if I indulge in the illusion that a woman who I barely know can reject me, instead of remembering that there are a million more girls out there and I have more to give, end quote. Now, this rule totally fucking rules. What it does is it calls bullshit on this illusion, the story, this horror story that somebody, a woman you barely know can actually reject you. A woman you don't know can't really reject you.

She can say, hey, I'm not into it. I have a boyfriend. I'm not feeling it. But that's not personal rejection. That's just her giving you information. And the phrase, instead of remembering, ships your mind toward the abundance of dating options that you do have out there in the world, if you go and find them, as well as the abundance of value that you offer women. In other words,

it gets you in touch with the abundance of options you have and all the value you have to offer. Because the bottom line is the reason that dating sucks for a lot of men is because rejection feels so painful to them. It becomes like a Pandora's box. Rejection's a Pandora's box of painful emotion. And what this rule does is this locks the box. It reminds you no matter what happens with that girl you approach, hey, you got lots of options and you got a lot more to give. So for example, I had a client named Jeff who used to have really bad approach anxiety. And when he started to apply this mantra, he went out in the town one night. He approached more than 20 women in one weekend. I was with him. So I do in-person wingman side-by-side coaching with guys. I was with him.

He approached 20 women with my help. He got rejected, quote unquote, rejected several times. But his new rule helped him kind of brush those off thickened his skin he also got a fistful of phone numbers all these phone numbers and he made out with a total cutie on the dance floor he got four phone numbers for future dates and one sexy fun dance floor make out all he did was he adopted this mantra. I'll say it again because it's so powerful. Quote, I will only feel rejection when I indulge in the bullshit illusion that a woman I don't even know can reject me. Instead, I'll remember that there are a million more girls out there and I have more to give. That's your universal rejection rule. Know it. Memorize it. Get it tattooed on your neck

and your face like Mike Tyson. He cannot steer you wrong. Okay. Time for one last question. Let me go to a good one here. Oh, here's a good one. A classic. A total classic. Tommy in Boulder City, Colorado asks, hey, Connell, starting to get some good dates with all the Tinder tips in your book, but I'm still hearing, hey, I'm not feeling it too often after first dates. It's getting frustrating. I'm so tired of hearing, hey, I just don't feel that connection. How do I get out of that friend zone on first dates? Okay. Here's some quick tips to get out of the friend zone because the friend zone sucks. It sucks. It's like being pulled into a pit. You feel like Indiana Jones being pulled into a pit you feel like indiana jones being pulled into a pit of snakes

it's the worst the friend zone so here's how you climb out of it here are five quick ways number one show clear interest on a first date if you're interested in a woman make it clear it can be as simple as hey let's go on a second date. I'm liking you. Let's go out again. Want to? Tell her, show her your interest. And just let her know. Put that romantic card on the table.

A lot of guys get put in that, quote, friend zone because they don't put a romantic card on the table. And if you don't define this as a romantic, mutually romantically interesting situation, she won't. So first rule is show that clear interest. Number two, tip number two is talk the talk. The way you use your voice conveys your confidence level. So you want to cultivate a rich, resonant vocal tonality. Record conversations with a friend. Listen to your voice. Listen for flaws like up-talking. Do you talk like this?

Do you use a lot of excessive ums and ahs? Similarly, with a woman on a date, you want to catch how you're talking. Because if you're speaking like this, hey, how are you? How's your night? How's your day? So nice to meet you. If you sound timid, if your voice is giving off that self-doubt, that timidity, women can smell that like bad cologne like ax body spray all right when speaking to a woman on a date here's a good rule imagine there's another person directly behind her and talk loud enough so that that person behind her can hear you this will help you project your voice since your chances are your voice shuts down a little bit

when you're talking to an attractive woman. It's a very common unconscious reaction to when we feel insecure. So I want you to think of a continuum of vocal tonality from supplicating, like it's hesitant, quiet, up-talking, and then there's neutral, normal, neutral. This is me talking to commanding, drill sergeant, barking orders. Hey, who are you? How's your day? The sweet spot is somewhere between neutral, positive, but neutral, a little bit of commanding. We want that firm, certain, positive, assertive tonality. Friendly, but upbeat with a smile. So it's like, hey, what's up? Nice

to meet you. You look great. Wow. You look just like your profile. Finally, a woman who looks like her profile. Nice to meet you. Hear that? Hear that in my voice? It's not going up. It's not being an asshole. It's not being some fake alpha male. It's more neutral, but with that confidence and that positive dominance. Hope that makes sense. Okay. Tip number three to get out of the friend zone is use confident body language. Stand tall, man spread a little bit. I give you permission to man spread. Widen your stance, take up some space. You're sitting at the bar, shoulders back, arms spread out. Stand tall if you're standing. Your spine is a steel rod. Powerful body language not only sends the right message to a woman, it actually boosts your emotional state.

I mean, try it right now. Like literally as you listen to this, stand up. If you stand up and hunch your shoulders right now, put your ankles together, take like a feminine, smaller physical stance and hold that for 30 seconds. Try it right now. I dare you.

Do it. Stand up. Feet together. Ankles together. Let your shoulders slump a little bit. You're going to feel small. You're going to feel passive. Right?

Doesn't feel good. Okay. Now, take a confident, powerful stance, spread wide, take an athletic stance, a man spread a little bit, stand nice and tall. Like your spine is a steel rod. Push your shoulders back. Take a wide stance, deep breath. Say yes. Now hold this for 20, 30 seconds. I'll bet you feel a lot more confident, don't you? More masculine. Now that's because adopting a confident body language can increase your testosterone, reduces cortisol, stress hormone, and it just basically gets your physiology activated in a way that makes you feel confident. So use that confident body language on the date.

You'll feel more confident and you will look more confident to her. That I'm sure of. One more tip here. Let's end with a fourth tip here on how to get out of the friend zone. Look her right in the eyes. Make really good eye contact on the date. You don't want to stare at her the whole time, but look her in the eye and just focus on good eye contact with that good vocal tonality. I once dated a wonderful woman named Olivia. She's a marketing director, at least she was at the time. And after we'd met, we'd been seeing each other for a little while. I remember I asked her what she liked about me because I love

compliments, I guess. And I was basically talking about, it was actually our first date and I had, I had approached her a few days earlier and I was asking her what she liked about me or what, what made her want to meet up with me. And I thought she was going to say, Oh, Connell, you said this witty thing or this funny thing.

But the thing is women rarely remember your words. She said, Oh, that's easy. I know why. And she looked at me, she, she basically looked at me and said, you made great eye contact. You looked me right in the eye and you stood up nice and tall. And that just made you seem so confident. Those were her exact words. So stand tall, look a girl right in the eyes, and let her play that romantic man to woman card.

Use confident body language. Talk that talk. Show that clear interest. And my friend Tommy, you'll be out of the friend zone very, very fast. Okay, that's it for this week's pod. If you have any other dating questions, shoot me an email. Connell at datingtransformation.com. I'll get to it in a future Ask the Dating Coach episode.

And until we speak again, remember that women out there, they already like you. You're already attractive to them. They just have to meet the real authentic you. See you next time. Thank you for listening to the Dating Transformation Podcast. For lots of free tips, videos, and other goodies, go to datingtransformation.com. See you next time. Produced by Heartcast Media.