How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - From nerdy to flirty! How to stop doubting yourself and attract your dream girlfriend (with Brian Pippard)

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

WARNING! This podcast episode contains tested dating tips that have been known to make so-called “nerdy guys” downright magnetic to bright, beautiful women. If you don’t want more dates, more confidence or learn how to get a girlfriend, do NOT listen! Capeesh?So, you want to confidently attract a great a relationship, right? But you sometimes compare yourself to “alpha males,” and you feel that you might be too nerdy, or not charismatic enough, to find a great relationship.This self-doubt leads to loneliness, feeling inferior to other men, and perhaps settling down with an inflatable woman. And no one wants that!In today’s episode of the Dating Transformation podcast, dating coach Connell Barrett talks to a fantastic fellow coach who can help you gain confidence and get dates, even if you’re “nerdy” or introverted.Brian Pippard is the founder of Date Quality Women. He reveals how he went from nerdy and uncool to dating bright, beautiful women. And much like Connell teaches, Brian did it by being authentic and genuine, NOT some creepy “pickup” guy.In this episode, Brian will teach you how to…✔︎ Channel your authentic personality in ways that women find attractive—even if you’re a little nerdy and not extroverted.✔︎ Approach women the right way in the daytime, so you can be charming to women, and not creepy.✔︎ Write fun, flirty dating-app openers that get responses on the apps, so you can get more dates.Listen now so you can stop feeling nerdy and unattractive and start feeling confident in your authentic self, and find a wonderful woman who likes you for YOU.TO LEARN MORE OR TO WORK WITH BRIAN:www.datequalitywomen.comFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL, TO LEARN HOW TO ATTRACT YOUR DREAM RELATIONSHIP:www.datingtransformation.com/contactGET CONNELL’S BEST-SELLING DATING GUIDE FOR MEN, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T,” YOUR STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE ON HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND:www.amazon.com/Dating-Sucks-but-You-Dont-ebook/dp/B08LDZL3GXChapters00:00 Intro02:07 our guest was a nerdy guy03:34 advice that didn’t work10:49 The Aha moment22:16 What to say and not to say27:42 Approaching women in daytime33:29 Advice for online dating openers41:00 Most unforgettable moment was in coaching others

You know, they should make a dating app for people who are on the apps, but they're not even going on dates. They're just swiping while they're sitting on the john to kill time. You know, you could call it plenty of flush. Welcome to the Dating Transformation Podcast. Here's your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. And we are back. It's another episode of Dating Transformation podcast. I'm your host, Conal Barrett. I'm a dating coach for men. I help guys gain confidence, learn to flirt, and get great girlfriends. And stick around because by

the end of today's installment, you're going to know exactly what to say and how to flirt in various dating contexts. Thanks to our guest, dating coach Brian Pappard, who's going to be, he's got some really great tips and moves about what to say, how to flirt, and essentially how to create those sparks with women, both in person, but also over text. So stick around. Now, what I want to talk to you about in this first little three or four minutes here is I'm going to give you the cheat code for confidence. Okay. I want to give you not necessarily the fastest way to get confidence, but I'm going to give you the secret to lasting confidence. And let me do it by starting with a story.

So back in the late double zeros, I desperately wanted to be able to approach women, much like you, probably. I saw them everywhere in New York City where I live. And I saw them in bars. I saw them in Starbucks. I just, I was surrounded by gorgeous women. I was very single and lonely and had never really had any dating success. So I struggled with approaching. Basically, I lacked the confidence

to approach and i felt like oh man i just if only i had the confidence then i could go talk to these girls and that is a huge myth here's a quick story the very first night i ever went out to approach women this is the very first chapter of my book. So if you've read Dating Sucks But You Don't, that first chapter, I tell the story about meeting a really beautiful woman on the rooftops, a rooftop bar. And these three Wall Street guys came over and they almost stole her away from me. That's from this night. That was my very first night ever approaching women. So before I went out on that rooftop that night, it's July 2009. And I remember thinking, oh my God, tonight's the night I'm finally going to approach women at night at a bar.

I'd never done it before. I was 38 years old. And before I went out and approached a single woman, I had to go into the men's room stall and I basically had a panic attack. I got dry heaves. I essentially started to vomit except nothing came out because I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink. And I didn't realize it at the time, but it was a panic attack. And essentially, it was triggered by the fear that I was about to find out, maybe I was about to find out that women just did not like me. I was about to find out that I was worthless, unattractive, not what women wanted. And that was so paralyzingly scary. However, I had a coach, awesome coach, who helped me that night, gave me some orders, ordered me around. I started approaching women. And at first it was very scary and I was not good. But as the night went on, I grew more confident.

And I connected with this really, really cute, sweet girl named Kelly. And anyway, it's the first chapter of my book. It's a good story if you ever check it out. But my point is, I was not confident at all that night. I started off scared to death, literally dry heaving in the bathroom stall. Here's what got me through. Here's the secret. And here's your big takeaway for the first part of today's show.

If you want confidence, you have to earn it with courage. Courage is the currency that will buy you confidence. I'll say it again. Courage is the currency that will buy you the confidence you want with women. You have to earn it. Sure, you can do a couple shots. You can have some false, phony, temporary liquid courage, but that's not going to last. You will gain confidence probably that very night,

definitely over days and weeks to come if you go out there and take courageous, authentic action. But what you can't expect is to get confidence first. This might sound like a chicken and egg syndrome, but it's not. The solution is you don't need confidence right now. Right now you need courage. It takes courage to walk out on a busy rooftop bar covered with gorgeous women in tight, tiny dresses and to start approaching them. It takes courage to ask your crush out for a date. It takes courage to break the ice with that girl standing next to you at the water fountain in the gym and she's in your yoga class and you're like, oh my God, I would love to talk to her,

but I don't know why. I'm too afraid. I don't have confidence. Fuck that. You don't need confidence, bro. You need courage. Courage first, confidence comes later. When I go out with my clients, we go out talking

to girls, I can literally do almost anything in terms of like bold, cool things. I'm not saying that to brag. I'm saying I earned it with a lot of scary, knee-shaking approaches at first. But that courage will buy you the confidence to approach, to make the moves, to find the woman you're going to share your life with. So don't make it about confidence at first. Pay your dues. Pay that currency of courage. Confidence will come later. Okay.

Speaking of confidence, check out this segue. I am confident that my guest today is going to give you some awesome stuff. He's amazing. We're going to come back and talk to my dating coach buddy, Brian Pippard. He's going to talk all about how to flirt, what to say, how to make sparks fly with your words. He's great with his words. So stick around. We're coming right back with Brian Pippard.

Stand by. I'm going to read your mind. Ready? I'll bet that you would love to confidently approach women, get great matches on the dating apps, flirt with charm, and attract your dream girlfriend. Right? But fear keeps you from approaching. You're not sure how to flirt. You struggle on the apps. And desirable

women just don't seem into you. Well, I have great news. Dating coach Conal Barrett can help. He's guided thousands of men like you to more confidence and help them attract their dream girlfriends. So book a free strategy call today to see if Connell's coaching is right for you. On your call, Connell or a team member will give you personalized advice to help you have more confidence, more dates, and more fun. Oh, and you'll be dating women as your best self, a charming gentleman. That's because Connell does not teach creepy pickup artist tricks. He unlocks your most confident self,

so you can make authentic romantic connections. Your next steps? Book your free call today at datingtransformation.com forward slash contact and grab a time that works for you. Then you'll be on your way to more confidence, better results, and attracting bright, beautiful women. Oh, so you know, soon Connell will stop taking on new clients. So book a call today while you still can. Go to datingtransformation.com forward slash contact and transform your love life. Bye.

All right. My guest today is a lot like me. He's a dating coach for men. He helps guys like you improve their dating lives. And I have to be honest, if you know me at all, you know that I do not like that many other male dating coaches. I can count on one hand the male coaches for men who I feel teach well, who I believe in their content.

Most people just teach this stuff wrong. And Brian is one of the rare exceptions. Brian Pippard is my guest today. And Brian went from being picked on as the the quote, nerdiest kid in school, having no friends, and only getting girlfriends by poaching his friend's ex-girlfriend. He went from that to going on to date models, dancers, fitness trainers, and even a professional Russian ballerina. And now Brian helps established single men get a great girlfriend who's not just beautiful, but also who's an amazing person who has an amazing personality and who likes those guys for who they are.

And you can find more out about Brian and his website, DateQualityWomen.com. Brian Pippard, thanks for being here today, man. Thank you, Connell. That's a great introduction. Feeling flattered already. Yeah. Well, we're out of time because your intro is too long. Okay. Well, it's a good time. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here and next time on the podcast. So here's my first question for you.

Sure. So the guy listening to this is a guy who he doubts himself. Maybe he's a bit introverted or he's in his head around women, attractive women. Maybe he doesn't have a lot of dating experience or at least not the kind of experience with the quality girls he wants to date. And then he deals with doubt like, oh, man, am I attractive enough? Am I that guy who women want to date? Since you used to be the, quote, nerdiest kid in school, can you relate to that guy? Did you deal with any of those things yourself when you were a younger man? Yeah, a hundred percent. Um, I remember in

junior high, there was a girl who I liked her friend and I talked to her about her friend and she said, my friend thinks you're very nice. She just doesn't think you're very cool. And that hurt a lot because everybody wants to be cool and be liked and be popular. Right. And, uh, I went through tons of rejection, just rejection after rejection, after rejection for years and years and never dating the kind of women I really want to date, which is why I ended up poaching my friend's ex-girlfriends and costing me three of my best friends in the process, because I did not know how to meet and attract other women. She was around and she was there and they broke up and we kind of liked

each other and I just jumped on the opportunity. So the most terrible thing is just not having the opportunity and not knowing how to create it. Not knowing how you can get out of this purgatory of wondering, what do I need to do? I'm going to try this and try that and try that and try all these different things. And none of them really work. And I almost gave up and got frustrated to say, you know, forget the whole thing, but I'm really hardheaded. So I just, I wouldn't deal with that. At the time, there wasn't a lot of really good advice. So, you know, I understand a hundred percent. Let me jump in real quick. What didn't work? What was some of the advice you got and tried,

but it just did not work back in the day? Well, you know what advice was like back in the day, you know, approach at a 45 degree angle, ask an unnecessary question, you know, touch her, but don't touch her too much and then turn away so that she wants your attention and make sure that she invests in you and chases you and don't be too needy and do all these stupid things where the girls are just like, what's wrong with you? Like, why are you so weird? No one actually acts like this. Right. And I do all these things. And sometimes I get success. Sometimes I get some success. But the problem was after I got the success, I didn't know how to follow it up because I didn't have routines or a plan or a strategy for calling a girl on the phone. And this was back before texting was big, right? So you had to

actually make a phone call and ask a girl out on a date what do i say i don't have a plan and lines and scripted routines for that i gotta actually talk to her as a person and get her to come out and act normal and have her like me and connect and chat about things normally and i had no idea how so i blew so many opportunities with uh great girls some were really attractive and i would have been interested in, but I just wasn't me and they weren't getting me. So they were just like, man,

this guy's weird. Forget it. I'm going to go find some other guy who actually has confidence, believes in himself, can have a normal conversation, be a genuine person. Right. That was,

no, that's so important. What you just said was a great about how they thought you were weird, which I decode that as you weren't relatable. You weren't genuine. You weren't authentic. You were doing a bunch of moves, robotic. I don't know how women exactly process it. They just process it as this.

Something is off here and I'm not feeling it. And I love the 45 degree angle tip. I could just imagine a woman saying, oh man, you had a shot with me, but that was 37 degrees. Your shoulders are top off. One of my favorite stories, one of my favorite stories ever was when I first started looking to improve my skills with women. I had an opener, a line I use to talk to women regularly. And it went something like something about Cosmo and me being better than the guys in Cosmo. I can't even remember.

I can't remember. It was so cheesy. But there's this gorgeous blonde out at a nightclub one night. And she's just absolutely my type, 100% my type. The girl who I dreamed about being with when I was a teenager. You watch TV and you're like, I want that kind of girl. She was like, almost like a real life Pamela Anderson. And I go and I say my line to her and she says, Oh my God, you creep. You've said this to me three times already. And I'm like, Oh, I had no idea that I had approached you in the

exact same way with the exact same line before. And I didn't remember you and you remember me being a creep and now I'm totally done. And I realized there's some downsides to this phony fake game that guys were learned to do at that time. And I went, man, that can't work anymore. I can't be that weird guy. I don't want to be that weird guy who's out being a weirdo saying the same thing to every girl. And then being like, man, I've already talked to you. You're not going to get to talk to me or any of my friends.

We all know you're a weirdo. Like, forget that. And so that's when I realized I got to find a different solution to this because that just wasn't going to cut it yeah you and i have a similar background in that we both either worked with or learned the content of the quote-unquote pickup artist types right the guys who learned from the the mystery method the the school of nagging putting on a persona a cool guy kind of too for school act, or being really self-amused. And some of those guys did teach me some cool stuff. And I even learned a couple of cool quote unquote lines. But to your point, I remember I had a date once with a woman.

And the line was, oh, before the date, text her, hey hey wear something tight and low cut tonight so we'll match i don't know not a bad line if you're gonna go for that cocky funny kind of thing but she wrote me back right away saying i i've heard that before i had a date two months ago where the guy said that what the hell what's what's going on are you guys all reading the same website and i was like ah busted uh so the nice thing about not having to use lines or everything comes from yourself authentically is you don't have to worry about getting caught having approached the same blonde with the same opener three times actually sometimes i do get called out by girls for saying the same things to them that's because it's the same girl. I told her the same thing I told her before. So I got this thing for a blonds. I like, I like Asian blonds. It's kind of my thing. You

know, that Japanese tan skin, blonde hair, um, gold jewelry. I really like girls that look like this. So I often approach them and I just say, Hey, look, you need to understand that you are amazing. And that the blonde Asian girl look is just not done often or well enough. And it's hugely underappreciated. And I just want you to know that I appreciate it. Sometimes girls will be like, I know you've told me that three times, but, but, but it's honest, right? Like at least I'm being consistent and I'm saying something I truly think. And then they're like, okay, well, and I'm persisting. They're like okay well and i'm persisting they're like well he may not remember me but you know at least he's still being real with me in a way and i still get shot yeah well i don't think it's it's not about being repetitive that's not that's not the problem

it's getting caught saying something that's not genuine or scripted with a with an outcome in mind right being very results based uh working toward the the end not just enjoying the expression of it so i've probably cracked the same three or four or five jokes or compliments to my girlfriend jess and she might say okay you already said that to me but it's not i'm not saying it as a rehearsed line. I'm saying it because I just caught myself sort of swooning over her because I'm so into her. Yeah. And you think that. So you share it with her and you probably think it more than once.

So you share it with her more than once. And you may not remember you said it because you were just thinking out loud at the time, but she remembers you said it. And that actually, in that case, it adds credence to what you're saying, because it's showing that you actually do think and believe this thing. You're not just saying it, uh, for fun or to impress her or to make her happy. It shows that you actually do believe that. And that's important. It's, it's showing that you're not full of shit and not being full of shit is is is a pretty important thing with women

because they get guys who are full of shit all the time got it okay so back to your story and your growth your evolution in this area so you were once the nerdy kid in school few friends stealing poaching your buddies exes uh what was what changed the game for you you know share an aha moment in your journey about learning success with women and dating. Sure. Well, what really started it was I was 21 or 22, and I was going to Japan for a year to teach English. And right before I went, my friend who had come back from Japan said, hey, there's this

book called The Game, and it's about how to meet and pick up girls, and you should read it. And I was like, Hey, there's this book called the game and it's about how to meet and pick up girls and you should read it. And I was like, Oh, okay, cool. I'll read it. So I read it on the plane over there. And I did like a few things in the books. Like you said, some of the principles are applicable. Some of them are useful. Some are kind of full of shit. Some are, are useful. And I did some of them and i got better results than ever gotten in nightclubs in my life because women just ever like they just ignored me mostly mostly in school as well so um when i came back i realized like if i want to have the same kind of dating life i had there if i want to have as much fun as many awesome many awesome women, have as many dates,

then I'm going to need to do something because I don't want to go back to being the dork. I don't want to go back to struggling and no girls liking me and wondering how to overcome everything and just spinning my wheels and being frustrated and sitting there with my friends when we see a girl that we think is hot being like oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's so hot. Oh, yeah, yeah. I totally I totally chat to her. Yeah. And then never do it. So I was like, all right, I need to sort this out. And so I took in all of the information I could from all different people and all different places. And some of it was good. Some of it was bad at the time. I think mostly information was fairly bad.

And like the one thing my friends gave me credit for at the time, it wasn't that I was like really good with women. It was that I was consistently going hard. I would approach so many women all the time. I got bit on my hand and kicked in the balls and kicked in the shin and drinks thrown on me and the whole gambit. And they were just like, man, I give you credit for being relentless

because you are balls. You will go out and do and try almost anything. And I'm like, well, how else are you going to get it, right? So through doing all this experimentation and trying all these different things and finding out what really works and what doesn't, I've been able to hone down what really does work while still being my authentic self

and enjoying interacting with women so that I don't have to put on some fake facade. I don't have to use a bunch of corny lines, though we do almost any guy who is good with women and has a lot of dates um does end up repeating sort of the same things they say because i mean there's there's only so many things to say in their similar situations right um which is not a bad thing but now they actually work and they're not weird and they're not scripted they're not from someone else they're from me and they're what I think, what I feel.

And so to me, that's been the biggest thing is to not put on some fake act and try to do a dance to get women to like you like a peacock or those birds that jump on the tree branch. Right. I'm going to share a quick story. And then I'm going to ask you if you have your version of this story because i'm sure you do but my a big breakthrough night for me back in the day

when i had a very similar moment that you just described when things started to click when i stopped being fake and pickup artisty and started just being more natural is i went out to a club for the for the night and Saturday night. And I said, you know what, I'm going to take action tonight, but I'm not going to try. In other words, I'm not going to like put on a song and dance and try to be somebody. I'm just going to walk up and say, hey, what's up? How's your night? And see what authentically naturally comes out of my mouth. And granted, I'm sure plenty of girls blew me off. It's been many years. But I remember that was the night when a really attractive British woman

looked at me for about, I was, we were chatting for 30, 45 seconds. And she said, forgive me, I don't do a good British accent. She said, you have 10 seconds to kiss me. 10, 9, 8. And, you know, it wouldn't have been gentlemanly of me to not. I hope you waited for one though. What's that? I hope you waited until one just to build this expense. It probably took me seven seconds to realize, wait, she's serious. Holy shit.

Oh my God, we're down to three. I better go in. And I walked home that night feeling i never felt more genuine and real and the women who were responding to me were responding to this this authentic chill i guess confident energy because i wasn't trying to overcompensate what would be like a story that comes to your mind from your past when the first night or approach or date where you really started to feel like oh man man, just being the genuine Brian is what women want. Um, you know, I remember girls saying to me, you know, quite regularly, they're like,

so does this work for you? Does this work for you? Does this actually work for you? And I was like, why do these girls keep saying that to me? Like, I'm clearly awesome. I'm clearly the man, you know, I'm so cocky and I'm so funny and I know exactly what to say and do. Um, but I realized that they would rather have, and most people, the truth in life is that, um, good is better than perfect because perfect is impossible. So when we're trying to act perfect, we're trying to be perfect. People see this phoniness and they go, that's not real. No one can be perfect. No one's really like that.

And when you just accept that you're going to make some mistakes, you're going to say and do some dumb things, but good is better than perfect. If you're trying to be perfect, no one trusts you, and it's impossible because it's fake. But if you're just doing you in a way, and I got to do a good version of you, you can't just be like, you know, oh, yes, but I'm so sad today. And nobody likes me. And that's me. And that's how I am. Then no, no one's gonna like, right? You have to do a very good, confident, belief-filled, assertive version of you. You have to do a self-loving and self-appreciating version of you because no one is going to appreciate you if you don't. Now, two ideas about this. One, there's something

called mirror neurons. So when we look at someone, we can see their face and we can feel how they feel. So when you look at someone, you can tell they're angry or you can tell they're sad or you can tell they're confused or something. Your mirror neurons fire. So when you feel down, lack of confidence, you feel not good enough, you feel like you're not worthy, you feel like, why would anyone like me? You feel like, oh God, I hope she likes me. She can literally see it on your face and feel how you feel. And then since she feels what you feel, she goes, oh, this guy makes me feel like that when I'm around him. And then she goes, well, I don't really want to feel like that. I don't like that. And then the self-doubt you have transfers over to her and she doesn't want

to be in that emotional state, right? She wants to feel good. She wants to feel happy. She wants to feel confident. She wants to feel fulfilled. She wants to feel assertive and like what she's going after in life is important and she likes it. So that's the first point is that how we believe and how we feel directly affects how women believe and feel about us. So it's very important to internally get those shifts, right? Because until we do, it doesn't matter what we say or do, because what we think what we feel what we believe who we are, is more important than what we say. So even if you had all the perfect lines, you wouldn't be communicating that you actually are that guy. And it would seem like a facade, and it would be fake, and it would seem like a dance. And even if you were really good at it,

sooner or later, she'd see through you, and she'd be gone. Totally. So that's massively important. Yeah. I forgot the other point I was going to make. Well, let me just echo what you just said, because I love that point about mirror neurons and how what I heard you say essentially was what's happening on the inside of you is going to be projected outside of you in your facial expression, in your energy, for better or worse. Absolutely. So when guys say oh what do i say what's the line what how do i approach what words hey i want you to have the best words

possible but i could give you you could give one of your clients the best tested opening approach line ever but if he walks up and he's like um he's a scared little sheep and he's afraid that she's going to reject him and the rejection means he'll end up having to date an inflatable woman and end up living with monks and never have a woman, then the line's not going to matter because she's looking at all these other sub communications that are kind of emanating from inside of him. Exactly. And if he didn't have the perfect line, but he just went up confidently and he was just like, Hey, you just got great style. You just look amazing.

And I wanted to meet you. Yeah. She's probably going to be like, well, okay, Mr. Confident guy. Why do I have such a great style?

Why do you want to meet me? I do a fun drill with guys in field when we go out to chat up women uh in new york city at night and in the daytime uh i help a guy get into that great really good state that you're just talking about with those beliefs about his worth his value his attractiveness to lots of women and then i say okay what's the first word that enters your mind? And he might say, I had one guy say, I don't know, Pop-Tarts. I'm like, cool. Pop-Tarts is your opener.

Go say Pop-Tarts to that woman in the red dress at the bar. He walks over and he's laughing because he knows how absurd this is, but also he's having a good time. He's got good posture. He's got a sly little smile. He walks over and he's like, hey he's got a sly little smile he walks over he's like hey excuse me pop tarts she just burst out laughing like what what are you talking about but she's giggling she's into his energy not so much the words i'm not saying by the way listener i'm not saying go say pop tarts every time i'm pop tarts pop tarts is 100 pop tarts is a cheat code that's

all you need to say is Pop-Tarts. Pop-Tarts is the way. Pop-Tarts, Pop-Tarts, Pop-Tarts. Girls, Victoria's Secret Malls will show up in your bedroom. They'll be knocking on the door. It's like Wizard of Oz in the little red shoes, you know. Okay. Let's talk about what to say or what not to say.

Because even though I think we both agree that the words aren't as important as the vibe, the confidence, the energy, at the same time, you want to have some good stuff to say. And one of the things I love about your teaching, and sometimes you help me with my clients and I run some things by you, is you are really good with words. You're good with what to say, what not to say. Can I throw a couple of, let me throw a couple of context scenarios at you and then give some thoughts on what to say, what not to say. Cool? Sure. Here we go. Sounds fun. So on the spot. All right. Cool. Let's say when a guy's approaching, he's at a bar and he sees a really attractive woman any thoughts on what you think he either should or shouldn't say for that first opening line one doesn't matter two okay say whatever you think so often when i see a woman at a bar i'll just be like you look absolutely fantastic like you like you look like you're exactly my type.

And I really hope you're as cool as I imagine you are because we're going to have a great time. Oh, what makes me your type? You know, you think I'm your type? And sometimes she'll give you like a bit of a hard time. Be like, oh yeah? Well, you think you're my type? I'll be like, well, you know, I am handsome and charming and well put together.

So I don't see why I wouldn't be. But if you don't like handsome, charming, funny guys, so i don't see why i wouldn't be but if you don't like handsome charming funny guys then i guess you might be the one with bad taste and that would be a shame because we'd be great together so in in my opinion like it's not really so important what you say because you can say anything a lot of it is just about, like you said, having the right energy. And in my opinion, it's just about moving it forward, right? You're not talking to the girl to say the perfect thing. You're not talking to her to get her to respond and to like you. You're talking to the girl because you want something to come from it. You want to have the chance to chat with her.

You want to have a drink and get to know her. You want to get her phone number. You want to meet her on a date. You want to kiss her. You want to hold her hand. You want to hug her, right? So the whole principle is you just need to move things forward. So the whole point of talking to her is to start the conversation.

The point of starting the conversation is to spend time together chatting, vibing, getting to know each other and building some sexual chemistry. And the whole point of building a sexual chemistry is to have a reason to exchange phone numbers and get together to have a drink to build on the sexual chemistry or a date or dinner or whatever, but I prefer drinks. And the whole point of having the drink is to continue to build that, to see if the sexual chemistry is still good and see if there's potentially more there. And so what you say is, is not terribly important. In most cases, there are going to be a few times where like, you want to make sure you respond the right way because, um, you know, it's not necessarily it's a test, but sometimes there's only one right answer. Women will sometimes

give you questions like, if your girlfriend's like, babe, how do I look today? You have to say you look great, right? It's not like, oh, well, you know, you're getting kind of fat and your pants don't quite fit. And, you know, I don't like how you did your hair today. You might be able to tell her that you don't like how she did her hair that day that much. But there's some situations where there is really only one right answer. But in most situations, it's not that. You just need to move things forward. And the fact that you're moving things forward shows you're confident, you're cool, you trust she's going to have a great experience. Otherwise, you wouldn't be moving it forward. You wouldn't be looking to lead her and pull her along with you. And as long as it's moving forward and she's

having a good time and it's not weird and she feels some kind of connection and you feel some kind of connection, then chances are she's just going to follow. Or if she doesn't follow, she at least won't pull away. So you have more time to hang out and build chemistry and build connection and build fun and banter and sexual tension and then continue moving forward again. So it's not that important what they say. It's just important that they say something and they say it confidently and fairly authentically because she wants to know who you really are. And she's going to test to see that. And if you can't be you to some extent, then you're going to fail the test and she's going to choose someone who is. Wow. That was so great.

You can't be you. You're going to fail the test. Yeah. That's powerful stuff. Thank you. I wish I'd had that quote before I finished my book, but better late than never. Your book was so great though. Your book has tons of great quotes in it.

Oh, stop. Go on. Go on. It's just true. And so many good stories. It's a great book. If you haven't read it, make sure you read his book. It's just true. And so many good stories. It's a great book. If you haven't read it, make sure you read his book. It's a really good read. It's funny. It's informative. It's valuable.

And there's tons of real world stories that you can really identify with and they're fun to listen to and find out about. I paid him $10,000 to say that. Thank you, Brian. Man, you could have paid me more. Still on? Wait, what? What? Okay. A part two question. Okay. That was great. Thank you for the endorsement, by the way.

The book endorsement. No, bro. That means a lot. It's a great book. And you're in the book. I am. I am actually in the book. Dating sucks. Super cool.

But you don't. Rejection, ghosting, loneliness, lack of dates and lack of confidence. For many men, dating just sucks. But it doesn't have to. There's a simple yet powerful way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend. Be radically authentic. It's all laid out in the number one Amazon best-selling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't, your step-by-step guide to attracting wonderful women and doing it with total authenticity.

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Part two question. So you just talked about, here's what you say when you want to approach a woman at night, which is don't worry about what to say. Just say anything. If nothing else, tell her that she's your type. Hey, try that on for size. Brian likes it. You should give it a shot.

What about this though? What about daytime approaches? A lot of guys, some guys can drum up the courage at night, maybe with a little liquid courage to talk to women at a bar, at a club. But in the daytime, she's at the gym, she's on the park bench, she's at the Starbucks. It's a lot harder for a lot of men to give themselves permission to talk to a woman, an attractive woman during the day. What do you say to that guy who thinks it's weird or creepy to approach a woman during the day? Um, one, it's not weird or creepy for people to talk to each other. People talk to each other

all the time. If you look at it as you're just talking to someone new, you're going to know them and find out about them. Then it's not weird. Um, the second thing is going to be almost the same as my first answer, which is the whole point of starting the conversation is to move things forward. So it doesn't matter what you say. She's reading a book. You're like, oh, cool. What book are you reading? Oh, yeah, that's really cool. I'm reading this book recently about this. You know, you might like that too. Blah, blah, blah, whatever. Doesn't really matter. Sit down, chat, get coffee, find out about them. It's totally normal. It's not weird. For me, my go-to, because I like very attractive women. I like very fit, very well put together feminine women. And so in that case, I can almost always

compliment her on how well she's dressed, on how fit she is, on how good her style is. And women love compliments about that. But one particularly about things about themselves that they have earned. So for example, if I say, Oh my God, you're so beautiful. She didn't earn being beautiful. She was born beautiful. But if I say, you know, you just have amazing style. And I want you to give fashion tips to all the girls around here because I want every girl I see to look exactly as good as you do. She's going to be like, nice. Wow. Thank you. And two, she had to put her thought and energy into looking that good, that well put together, that presentable. I'm basically saying, I think you're a sexy AF, but I'm not saying I think you're a sexy AF. I'm saying, I appreciate this thing about you that you put work into, which I do appreciate. And I do somewhat do myself. So I often say, you know, I'm, I'm fairly fashionable guy, but you know, I have nothing compared to you. And she's like, well, you look pretty good. I'm like, oh, yeah, thank you.

And now we're kind of flirting back and forth, right? So I like to compliment and comment on women's fashion, fitness, hair, whatever. One, because it's low-hanging fruit. Two, because it's something they put work into and they set it in order to, a lot of the their time to attract men and three because it creates this flirty vibe where now you're saying i noticed you as a woman and that's very important because a lot of guys will make platonic conversation forever hoping that something comes from it but it doesn't because they're not leading anything forward and the woman 99 of their time is not going to lead things forward but i'm already leading things forward saying, I noticed something physical about you, which means I must think good things about your

physicality, which means I probably think you're sexy and attractive, which means we're already moving in a direction where things could become sexy and attractive between us. And that's very important. You're right about it creates a flirtatious, it says, Hey, this is a story of boy meets girl. This is our rom-com moment. The frame I love to give men for a daytime quote unquote approach is first of all, don't even use the word approach you're just chatting up an intriguing stranger and there might be some flirtatious chemistry there and if so enjoy it but if but you're not approaching you're just breaking the ice but what i like about the compliment about her style her clothes her fitness is it's giving a woman less to potentially resist, right?

As opposed to walking up and saying, you're sexy AF, which can work, but it's also going to be very polarizing, especially in the daytime. In the daytime, if you walk up a bit more situational and, oh, hey, I just happened to notice that you look great today with that outfit and the belt and the shoes match. Wow. It's really impressive. You should give all the women in this park that help. That's going to be much, she'll be much less likely to hold up a stop sign. In fact, she'll probably want to hear more. Would you agree? Yeah, a hundred percent. And it shows that one, you notice things and details. You're not just using the same blanket line on

every woman um that two you appreciate nice things which says something about you as a person because she probably wants a man who appreciates things about her and three that you noticed her specifically and that says well if you notice me specifically then you must have interest in me and i'm curious why and of course the answer is i think you're sexy but we gotta wait to find out just how sexy i think you are and find out just until i'm going to tell you that is because i think you're sexy and that's usually on like the first or second date right because you know you don't want to be moving usually on like the first or second date, right? Because you don't want to be moving that forward, right? It's one thing to move forward,

but it's another thing to, you know, jump the starting gun and run through the wall into the audience and ride out the stadium into the street and get hit by a car or something, right? You do have to move forward, but you do have to do it at a reasonable pace generally. Got it. Okay, sticking with the topic of what to say, how to say it, but changing to online dating. You're also a really good online dating, well, online dater slash teacher of online dating, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, what have you.

One of the most common questions I get from men is, oh, how do I break the ice? What kind of opener should I use? What do I say? Share some advice, if you would, about the best way to send that online dating opener. Yeah. The best way to open online, I think, is to notice something about her again.

Or if she has a funny name or a funny nickname or something in her profile I like to comment mostly on pictures because you can tell something about the picture unless there's something really interesting in the profile and so you notice this and I don't know, let me let me see if I can find an example really quick. And nice. Let's see. I'm gonna find a girl. Okay. So this girl, this girl has something about color in her profile. I said, What color is it? And she says, well, it's my nickname. I said, well, pink, I think pink suits you. So my friend said it too. I'm like, it's cute. And it's full of energy. I imagine like you. So you can see that I'm asking one, a question about something that's relevant to her pictures and her profile. And I'm saying, well, I think this about you,

because pink is a nice thing for girls right you said it was a black black suits you for a very feminine girl you'd be like well why does black suit me i'm very feminine black is not the most feminine color if it was a very um like emo or gothic style girl you said i think pink suits you should i go i hate pink i hate that kind of crap i like you know energy i like dark energy and metal and magic and stuff it wouldn't suit but this girl's pretty cute right and she seems very feminine so i'm like pink suits you you seem very feminine seem very cute and full of energy i imagine like you and she says yes i'm a cute pink girl so the leading forward noticing something and then making that thing mean

something positive about her shows that once again you pay attention to her and it's uh moving things forward in a way i think you're cute and full of energy which is a good thing and then she's like oh yeah i am cute and full of energy i'm like great then we'll have a great time on our date because uh you'll be cute and full of energy and i'll be cute full of energy and full of a whiskey sours. So let's go do it. So it gives you a good outfit. Yeah.

We're both going to wear our best pink outfit. You'll wear your pink dress. I'll wear my pink pants. It's going to be a romantic pink date. Do you have pink pants? So the underlying concept, the underlying concept here is don't make it kind of like approaching make it kind of like approaching it kind of like approaching woman don't make it generic uh don't script it if you can help it notice something that that's interesting intriguing about her and relevant um because because whatever is about her is going to be more relevant to her

is that what you're saying yeah absolutely and And one, that's like top tier. Sometimes it's hard to find something about a woman to comment on, to notice. Sometimes it's just some pictures and you don't want to spend 10 or 15 minutes thinking about some observation about her, right? Or you just can't think of anything. So that's the best possible situation. Um, next I just like to say, Hey, you just look like you're exactly my style. And a lot of girls will be like, well, what about me makes it your style? Like, well,

you seem cute and flirty and feminine. And, uh, like we'd have a really good time on a date. She's like, Oh yeah. You think that I'm like, yeah, I think we should have some drinks and find out what do you think? She's like, well to that it's like all right cool so when you free so you know four or five six messages in we're already setting the tone for having a date so always make sure that one when you're opening you can notice something or i like to use you look exactly my style and then make sure you're talking about going on a date ASAP you know you're seeding the idea you're writing the idea that you're going to go on a date together and it's gonna be a great time right from the beginning like some guys you know I talked to they're like

oh yeah like well one guy was coaching he was saying like oh yeah I waited like two months I messaged with this girl for two months and then she just goes to me. I'm like, yeah, because you messaged with her for two months. She doesn't want to pen pal for two months. She wants a guy to go on a drink and have a date and make her feel like a woman. So from the beginning, if you start moving it forward and setting the idea of we're going to have a date, there's a high chance that sooner rather than later, you're going to have a date because she doesn't really have a good reason to say no, because you're having a good time. You're sharing good vibes, good energy, compliments back and forth. So why wouldn't she want to meet you?

Yeah. Right. So many times women have said to me, or sometimes they even write this on their profile, not looking for a pen pal. Yeah. They're not on H're not on hinge or bumble for the most part. They're not there to just message back and forth. They want to meet a cool guy. He's going to give them a nice evening out. So it's better to ask them out

sooner rather than later. But to your point, you believe in before you ask them out, you talk about what you might do together. Is that right? A hundred percent. Cause this plants the idea and lets her know you're interested in meeting. So there are some women on dating apps who aren't there to meet. They are just there to get attention and validation. And I'd say it's probably like, I don't know, 25, 30% maybe. There's a significant portion of girls. That many? Maybe, maybe. Well, on the high end, right? Okay. But we'll say one-third of the girls are there just for validation and getting attention.

Okay, cool. So you talked about getting together for a date, but she has to respond by going for a date. And you share some more banter back and forth, some more compliments, more observations, getting to know each other. Oh, we should go for a date. No coming on a date. So you can see after a fair bit of time, which girls, well, a fairly quick amount of time, which girls are actually interested

in meeting a guy from the app, which girls are just kind of there getting validation and attention, and which girls are kind of in the middle and they could take a little bit more time to meet together with. But that's no big deal because you got nothing but time it's it's an app you can use when you're on the toilet so um you know there's really no rush time is not running out right uh instead of bumble you could have like uh I don't know, Flush. Flush.com. You can only use it when you're on the toilet.

Kohler sponsors Bumble. I don't know. Okay. I'll work on my material, my bathroom dating app material. It's got potential. We'll figure it out. Yeah. Flush.

Anyway. I was going to ask you. Oh, I lost my train of thought thought but it's coming back to me before we get to kind of our our finale here i'm gonna ask you for your three game-changing tips before we do that though i just thought of something um i want to i want you to give give a sense of what it would be like to work with you a client uh what's what's a what's a client or success story somebody you've coached, and you helped him go from no matches to tons of matches, or you helped them smash through some kind of approaching block

that he might have had. I'm sure you have lots of examples. But what's one that comes to mind? What client you can use a fake name if you want? What client or guy you coach? Are you just really proud of when you saw him really make some some, get some real payoff from working with you? Yeah, I don't have to use a fake name because he got great results and he was happy to endorse me and share his story. So I had one client, John, and he had been single for three years. He had a good job as a strategy analyst at Boeing and despite his good job he could not get dates with the kind of women he wanted he said he was either friends owned by the women he wanted or women he wasn't interested were interested in him or he would just lose interest from the girls that he was trying to date and get together with. And I fell for him because I've been there.

I remember when it was super hard to get attention and get text backs and get dates with the girls you really wanted to meet and have them want to see you again and be okay with being flirty and somewhat sexual and moving things forward. And that's exactly where John was at, where he was banging his head against the wall and just things forward. And that's exactly where John was at, where he was banging his head against the wall and just getting nowhere. So John, I'm very happy that we focused on,

well, a few things. One thing is we focused on what his beliefs about was possible because he didn't think that he could talk to women in some of these social situations. And when he was was talking to women he was giving the entirely wrong vibe so one thing john did wrong that a lot of guys do wrong is they don't give themselves any value when they're talking to a girl and what that means is they try to start by being funny and self-depreciating and, oh yeah, you know, little, little, little lowly old me. Oh, you'd never like me. You know,

I'm just, you know, I'm, I'm not the fittest guy. They do self-depreciating jokes from the get. And when you're with your friends and you're with people who know that you're cool, the self-depreciating joke is funny because they know that you actually are the opposite right if Justin Timberlake jokes about right ugly and girls not wanting him they go ha ha ha that's funny but if the right quasi-moto Ryan Reynolds I've heard Ryan Reynolds crack tons of self-effacing jokes he's frickin Ryan Reynolds it's gonna play great right exactly right but if you're not Ryan Reynolds. It's going to play great, right? Exactly. Right. But if you're not Ryan Reynolds and she doesn't know anything about you,

then you better not be purposely making yourself look bad. You ought to be making yourself look good because she literally knows nothing about you. So she's going to believe whatever it is you present to her at that time. So for example, when when I said like, oh, yeah, well, you don't like funny, charming guys. You don't like handsome guys. You know, like that. She said, well, it makes you think that you're my type. I said, well, I'm handsome and charming and funny. Like, of course, you'd like a guy like me. I could have been like, well, that's a good reason.

Why would you like me? You know, I don't know. Why would you like a guy like me? I have no idea. And then she turns around and talks to someone else right you're done at that point that's right so she is asking kind of a literal question why would i like you and do you have the confidence to say and believe positive things about yourself do you have the wit and the charm to almost tongue in cheek, be like, I am awesome. And you will like me if you get to know me. And if you don't, that's fine. But I think you'll be making a mistake.

And, you know, it's that sort of idea where they need to present themselves as a catch. So then the woman initially will also see them as a catch or at least a potential catch and from there they can continue moving forward but john would make self-depreciating jokes and just ask like very platonic silly sort of questions um not make jokes about them not add compliments not add value He was just trying to like get attention and get affection and kind of self-worth from the girls. And that kind of black hole is, is hugely unattractive. Right. So, uh, I really had to work on him on presenting one, that he's a valuable man, that woman would want to be around and to communicating to them the awesome parts of

himself, his sense of humor, the cool things he does, the stories he's done in his life, the cool places he's been, just his great personality in a way that added value, that showed his value and added value to the women. So then they were intrigued. They were like, okay, cool guy. Let me see what you got. And then from there you can continue moving forward and get more and more results so in doing so uh about a month after we finished working together he got a girlfriend who was an entrepreneur and he met her at a networking event um not at the bar and stuff because he wanted to meet like a proper um sort

of business type lady and they ended up dating for like two years and last i talked to him they were living together and he was going to ask her to marry him that year so wow i'm very happy for john john from boeing yeah. John from Boeing. He analyzed the strategy and he applied well. Yeah, man, he got it done. And so with him, like for me, the main thing in coaching is doing a lot. There's one, a lot of information, but two, a lot of role plays. So I find role plays are very effective for men because the idea of applying in the situation is hard when you haven't practiced it.

So I like to use role plays with the guys where I pretend I'm the girl. So I've heard girls say so many things to me, you know, over like, oh God, 15 years and thousands of women, you know, I've heard almost anything, almost everything. So when we role play a situation, it's like, I know how to make it easy. I know how to make it difficult like i know how to make it easy i know how to make it difficult i know how to make it in between and he can get practice for these different situations and how to handle it and express himself in a way that does move things forward so he does start getting towards the results he wants and uh he told me that the role plays were the best part of our coaching so i really like those and find those useful. And so do my clients.

Nice. Yeah, I do that with my guys often. Flirting role play. I give them tools where we have some fun banter back and forth. Way to go, John. I'm sure you have some very sexy flirting. Sorry to interrupt. I have really nice legs if I was a woman. So, um,

as a man, uh, I don't know. I'm, I do my best to try to in person. I tell them, call me Connie, the tall, slender, sexy redhead. I'd like to see you shave your legs. Okay. We got about three, we have about three or four minutes left. Let's be strong with the three game changers. Looking back on your long career as a dating coach, but also someone who personally went from that dateless, friendless nerd back in the day to dating models and fitness influencers, and just really being a master at this. Yeah.

If you would give us one, two, three game changing tips that you think the us one, two, three game changing tips that you think the man listening to this, he doubts himself, maybe he's not, maybe he's either settling or not dating at all. Give us three game changing tips. Sure. So actually, all three, we kind of touched on during our talk, which is not surprising. So if you're talking about the most important game changing things, it makes sense over you know a 45 minute conversation about the topic that it's gonna come up so I'll just expand reiterate expand on

them again so the very first thing that is the most important thing that a lot of guys don't do because they're too afraid they're too afraid or rejection they're too afraid of being weird too afraid of being creepy too afraid of heard saying no and not liking and thinking something negative about them is leading things forward so they need to start the conversation they need to make it flirty a little bit sexual create a little bit of sexual tension um find a reason to get her phone number text her make sure it's fun, it's playful. There is some sort of sexuality involved in it in some way, some sort of sexual tension. A reason to go on a date somewhere that's going to be somewhat intimate or at least really fun.

No sitting across from each other, super boring dinner dates. There's no tension. It's not that much fun. It's just food and plates and food in your mouth. It's not that much fun it's just food and plates and food in your mouth it's not that great and you know touching on the hands touching the shoulder uh kiss on the cheek a kiss before she leaves you know these sorts of things have to be done by the man because when left in a woman's hands even if she really likes the guy she may be even more nervous than most guys to get rejected and not do it and never tell him and never go for it.

And that opportunity gets entirely lost. And there might be women who are potentially interested. And when they make that move and they move it forward, she goes, okay, this is a man with courage. This is a man who's assertive. This is a man who is going to probably also lead me in the bedroom and make me feel really great, make me feel like a woman so I can enjoy it with him. And they will then decide they'd like to go along with him and do it. So the very first thing is to lead things forward. The second thing I also talked about briefly is

to give yourself value. Men need to, in a sort of way, hype themselves up without being braggy. Okay. And it's a bit of a fine line, but you need to know that you're awesome. And there's things about you that she really like, and you need to communicate those things to her. So if you have a really cool lifestyle, if you have cool things you do like mountain hiking and you meet her and like, oh yeah, you seem really sporty. Well, actually, uh, I go out hiking all the time. I climbed Mount blah, blah, blah, Mount Kilimanjaro, you know, uh, two months ago. And I'm going to go for a hike this weekend. You know, you just looked like you would really enjoy going on a hike with me. And it's this kind of idea that I go on hikes. I do cool things, you're going to like it with me.

It's this giving of value where she goes, yeah, I might be interested in that. I want to find out if that's true. And then she wants to go along with you because you're leading to find out if it is true. And when it is true and you do lead in the right way, empathetic enough, strong enough, she comes along. She has a great time. There's no reason for her to not follow you into more intimate situations, see you more, an exclusive relationship, whatever it is. So the big mistake men make in the very beginning is not giving themselves value and making self-depreciating jokes. Later on, when she knows you're awesome, then you can start making some self-depreciating jokes later on when she knows you're awesome then you can start making

some self-depreciating jokes because she knows you're full of it and you're teasing about um not to being that guy she knows you are and then she goes oh you're so silly i know right much cooler than that and then she likes that so it's a bit of a shift in the beginning you need to uh give yourself that value otherwise women aren't going to believe that you have it. And some women even like, they won't, even if you're super handsome and charming and tall and cool and dress well, they won't get the idea that you are a man who has women in his life, who has options, who she may want to beat those women because you're awesome and she wants to be your best option. So some guys will never ever mention that, you know, I have a lady friend or, you know, this friend girl, or I was on a date a few months ago

or something. They never mentioned this. And so the girl just never gets the idea he ever has any women in his life. She's like, oh, this is just a guy like I'm his only date he can get. And she never even considers it. But when he gives himself a little bit of value and says, oh yeah, I was on a date with a girl a few months ago. It's doesn't such a place. It was kind of weird for this reason. And it's relevant. Um, then she goes, oh, this is a guy who's dating other women as well. And so I ought to respect the opportunity that I can be on a date with him as well because if I don't, there might be a woman who does. Now I'm not saying that

specifically is the most important thing to hit on, but that was an example I could think of where if you give yourself value, women will then recognize your value. And if you don't, then they may not. Does that make sense? Beautiful. In other words if you don't then they may not does that make sense beautiful cool and the third thing in other words women don't want to be yeah women don't want to

be one of a million women in a guy's life but if a guy has options that does make him more attractive to her because she'll say hey i i want to be his number one i want to be his girlfriend absolutely like who wants a car no one one else wants, right? Everyone wants a Ferrari. Everyone wants a Ferrari, right? So if you are a Ferrari and she's like, well, I would like a Ferrari and there's only 10 Ferraris available in my city. I'd like to be one of the ones to get it. Then she's much more motivated to get that Ferrari, right? But if there's a piece of junk on the side of the road, she can pick up any time. She'll be like, you know what? Maybe, maybe I'll go get something else.

Maybe I'll go see what my other options are. Right. Right. Does that make sense? Okay. Game changer number three, fire away. Number three, do you. You have to let your personality shine through.

She has to know the real you. Now, the idea of just be yourself and just be confident is overplayed. It's not a complete solution, but it's part of the solution. You have to do you, and you have to show your personality and who you really are. Because if you don't, women won't trust you. They won't like you. They'll see you as the slimy, sleazy, game-playing, manipulative douchebag that you're being, just trying to trick them into bed by being someone else. You have to do you, but you also have to do

the best parts of you, know why you're awesome, know what's great about you, and communicate those, which also goes on with giving yourself value. But if you're silly, and you're quirky, and you're funny, you've got a weird sense of humor, you like this and you don't like that, and this other thing is really popular, that's fine. That's totally entirely fine. As long as you are you and you're cool with it and you communicate it in the right way, 99% of women will accept you for who you are if you're cool with it. And if you're not, then they probably won't either. Does that make sense? That is a strong way to finish. Brian Pappard. Thank you.

You can find out more about Brian or even look into coaching from Brian on his website at datequalitywomen.com. Brian, thank you so much for being here. Any parting words? Uh, I love you guys. I always love talking to you. Um, it's a great time.

You got great stories. You got great examples. It is always a great chat with, um, can I, can I swear on this podcast? Fuck. Yeah.

Connell motherfucking Barrett. By the way, I think I figured out the name of our dating app where you only use it when sitting on the toilet. Yeah.

Plenty of flush. Plenty of flush. That is so good. All right. That's such a good joke. I love it. You and I are going to get busy on our new toilet app. And I'll see you next time.

Dear listener, Brian, thanks so much, man. Have a great one. No problem, Conor. It was a great time. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the Dating Transformation Podcast. For lots of free tips, videos, and other goodies, go to datingtransformation.com. See you next time.