How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - Get Ready to Love, Love, LOVE the Dating Apps! 6 Profile Fixes for More Matches Fast (Part 2 of 4)

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

Not getting good matches? Think the dating apps are rigged against you? Have hope! The truth is, you’re just making a few profile mistakes that hurt your results. This episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend” is Part 2 in a series on the 12 Essentials of an Irresistible Dating Profile. It’s the same strategy that dating coach Connell Barrett used to meet his girlfriend Jess. You’re about to learn 6 powerful fixes to finally start matching with women you want to date.Highlights of this Episode:01:32: The Real Reason You Don’t Get Good Matches05:15: The Secret to Taking Photos Women Can’t Resist08:56: How Connell Instantly Became 88 Percent More Attractive in His Photos17:50: The Mistake You Make with Photos that’s Costing You Matches22:11: The Action Photo that Will Get Women Liking Your Profile29:57: How to Melt her Heart … and Match with You!34:38: How to Write a Flirty Prompt to Escape the Friend ZoneListen now so you can finally start getting matches!DO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND? BOOK A FREE CALLWITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 COACHING:www.DatingTransformation.comEMAIL CONNELL FOR A FREE COPY OF HIS NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”:[e-mail]

Let's not call it the friend zone. Let's call it the Tinder tundra or the hinge hintraland, the bumble Bermuda triangle, coffee meets no one, and the bagel dies a lonely incel. Ha ha ha. ["The Bumblebee"] Welcome back to the how to get a girlfriend podcast. I am your host dating coach, Connell Barrett. I am the bestselling author of dating sucks, but you don't.

And I am your podcast dating coach here to help you flirt with confidence, get more dates and get a great girlfriend and do this by being authentic. No sketchy pickup artist moves needed here. This is about dating with integrity and authenticity because women like you for you. And if you're like most guys, you swipe and you swipe and you rarely get good matches and good leads on the dating platforms. And after a while that can start to feel personal. It can feel like women just don't like you.

And it can feel like the dating apps are just conspiring against you. It's a scam, the apps are all a scam. And I know what that's like, I really do. I used to have my own online dating struggles. And the reason I can solve pretty much any online dating problem, such as not getting matches is because I dealt with it myself.

I had every problem. I had every dating problem in the book and now I first fixed it in myself and now I help my clients fix their issues. And the biggest issue on the dating apps is just not getting good matches. If you don't get good matches coming in on Hinge, on Bumble, on Tinder, then you're not going to get dates and it's going to be a waste of time and a waste of money. So here's why you're struggling on the apps. Okay? It's not you. It's not your looks. And it's not this idea that the apps just don't work. It's your profile. Your profile is not good enough. And what that means is you're missing several

of what I call the 12 essentials of an irresistible dating profile. There are 12 core essentials that pretty much all or most need to be there for you to get maximum number of good matches. And once I dialed in all 12 of these essentials, I started getting tons of really good matches. My clients and I have literally gotten thousands of matches

and we've been on hundreds and hundreds of dates combined. Actually, I've been on hundreds and hundreds of first dates and so have my clients. And I met, actually, I met my girlfriend, my soulmate, Jessamyn. I met her on a dating app. So yes, the dating apps can and do work and they can work for you. You just have to do it the right way.

So this is part two of a four-part series I'm doing here on the podcast. And I'm going to walk you through in detail the first six of the 12 essentials. I'm gonna give you the foundation of an online dating profile that converts. And by the way if you missed part one feel free to go back and check out the last episode where I give you the full 12-point checklist of all 12 essentials. It's just a good quick CliffsNotes version of these 12 things. It's a great way to troubleshoot your profile. What you might want to do is go back and listen to part one and say, oh wow, I'm missing four, five,

six of these 12 essentials, and then you're gonna know what to work on. And then come back and listen to this episode, and because right now I'm about to go deep and in really practical ways so that you can have the first six of these essentials handled. And okay, so before I give you the first six essentials,

let's zoom out for a second. Your dating profile isn't some group of photos and a few prompts. I mean, at least your profile shouldn't be that. Your dating profile, think of it like a story. Your dating profile is a story it like a story. Your dating profile is a story that you're telling women and the title of your story should be something like, I'm a good guy, I'm a great catch, and a date with me would be fun and

flirty. That's your story or some variation of that. We want women to look at your profile and hear your story. I'm a great guy, I'm a great catch. A date with me would be fun and flirty. If a woman feels that, takes in that story when she sees your profile, you're going to get a ton of matches. But let's be honest, right now that's not the story your profile is telling. Your profile is probably telling a story like, here are six random photos i found on my phone. Please like me that might be your story or your story might be hey look at this photo shoot i did for hinge look at all these pictures do you like my photoshoot pictures. No we want the story to be hey look at my, look at what a good guy I am, I'm

a great catch, and I'll be a fun flirty date. That's all you need to make a woman feel to get that right swipe. Okay? So think of these 12 essentials I'm about to go through. These are like 12 chapters in the story of you being a great catch and a great date. Okay? So we're going to tell the story of you being a great catch and a great date. Okay? So we're gonna tell the story of you and if we tell the story of you in the right way, that's when the game changes. Okay? So here we go. Let's get to it. Here is essential number one.

Essential number one is a magnetic first portrait. Why is this essential? Well, your first photo is your billboard for the whole profile. If it doesn't immediately grab her attention, she's going to swipe left and she's never even going to see the rest of your profile. Or maybe a better metaphor, sticking with the 12 chapters of a book, is your opening photo, the first photo on your profile, it's like the cover of your book, and she's gonna judge this book by its cover. And that's why we want that first photo,

which should be a portrait. We want it to be a magnetic portrait that makes her want to swipe right. So here's where you go wrong though. Most guys go wrong in this way. If you're like a lot of guys, you just grab photos from your camera roll and put the what you think is the best photo in the first lot. Or a lot of guys do

get photos taken, but their photos look stiff and unnatural. The smile looks stiff and forced. And what happens is these photos, these opening photos look like pretty much all the other photos of other guys on the apps. And then you just blend in with the crowd. And you seem ordinary. And if you seem ordinary, rather than great guy, great catch, possible boyfriend material, then she's not going to swipe right, she'll swipe left. So what do we do?

Here's how to do it right. You need a magnetic portrait. Now you already know the basics of a really good portrait probably if you've done some content research about online dating photography. You know, no sunglasses, look at the camera, good style. All these things are true, you probably already know these things.

But here's the secret. Here's what really makes your profile, your portrait photo magnetic, which is that you smile a real authentic warm smile. No Zoolander glares, no fake stiff say cheese photos, but a real authentic smile that is informed by actual genuine positive emotion coming from inside of you. I'll tell you how to do that in a second. And the power of an authentic smile is a real game changer for this opening portrait. It's a real game changer to get you the matches you want. So I know you

can't see these. I'll put these on, I'll put these two photos on my Instagram so you can see these if you want to. But I have two photos and that I had taken from a recent photo or not a recent photo shoot from a few years ago. And these two photos I tested on a platform called photo feeler. photo feeler.com is a website where women rate the attractiveness of your photos and portraits for online dating. I absolutely recommend you use Photofeeler.

So I have these two portraits that were taken of me. And by the way, I'll describe these two photos. In one photo, in both photos I'm wearing the same outfit. A blazer, a blue blazer, a tie, and I'm looking basically nicely dressed up with nice natural lighting. Same posture, same everything, a portrait from the waist up. Okay? So it's two photos.

In the first photo, I'm trying to look serious, cool. Basically, let's call it Zoolander Connell in this first photo. So the first photo is Zoolander Connell. And this Zoolander photo of me, I tested on PhotoFeeler and it got me a 4.8 out of 10 for attractiveness. Then I tested the second photo, which was taken literally seconds later. And in the second photo, I'm, which is identical to the first in every way, except one. The second photo, I have a big warm, real authentic smile. Let's call this authentic smiling Connell. The second photo got me a 9.0 on PhotoFeeler for attractiveness. That's

right. Women found me 88% more attractive instantly when I smiled a real smile. Again, these two photos are identical in every way. Same clothes, same backdrop. They were taken seconds apart. In Zool Connell 4.8 authentic smiling Connell 9.0 88% more attractive. That's the power of warmth and authenticity. And I thought, oh, maybe this is a fluke. I ran the experiment again. I did the same thing two different photos of me. These are two photos of me sitting in my apartment on my couch looking at the camera. Again, Zoolander Connell, or this one's more of a stiff kind of a say cheese smile. Let's call it stiff, barely smile, fake smile Connell got a four point five out of ten and attractiveness. And

authentic smiling Connell got an eight point seven7 so roughly 68% more attractive. So why does this happen? Why are you instantly two, three, four times more attractive when you have an authentic smile versus a fake smile or versus no smile? Well science has the answer. When you fake a smile, a pose smile, or when you don't smile at all, what's happening is you're only activating the muscles around your mouth. And you either come off as too serious

or you come off as fake and stiff. But when you smile a real, authentic, big smile, born of true positive emotion, it activates these eye muscles called the orbicularis ocularis. These are fancied name for the muscles around your eyes. And these muscles activate when the smile is real and genuine coming from actual emotion inside of you. And this lights up your whole face. and it creates this genuine pure positive emotion that just feels magical to women. And that's why I want you to make sure

that your first portrait, the first photo is a portrait where you are smiling a real authentic smile born of actual good emotion inside of you. How to do it right. Here's how to do it right. Here's how I did it. Here's how you can do it. I had my online dating photographer. I scheduled a session with her and we got me, you know, dressed, not dressed up, but wearing a good outfit, clothes that fit me well, eye contact, all those basics need to be there of a good portrait. But I also had her and myself cracking jokes. We were laughing.

She was telling me jokes. I was telling knock knock jokes. We were talking about our favorite comedians, swapping jokes. We were just laughing and having fun. Basically shooting the shit back and forth. And while I was laughing and smiling, real smiles and real laughter, she was snap, snap,

snapping photos of me. And it was these photos, captured, capturing real emotion. These were the photos that scored the best on PhotoFeeler and that captured the most attractive me. And one of these photos is the most magnetic, real, authentic photo of me. One of these photos has got me a 9.2, a 9.3 on PhotoFeeler, my highest score ever. And that's the photo I now have for my first photo on my online dating profile. And this portrait of me, big real smile, this has gotten me hundreds of matches.

It's the photo that my girlfriend, Jess, made her swipe right on me. She told me on our first date, she said, you have this really warm, positive college professor vibe that I really like. She was basically saying, that's how your smile, that's how that opening portrait made me feel. That's what got me my date, my first date with my now girlfriend, Jess is the love of my life. So my advice for you is you want to book a photo shoot, not in a studio, a real world setting. You want to make sure you have at least two, maybe three outfits for the photo

shoot so you can mix and match. You want to use a natural backdrop. You want good natural lighting. And but here's the most important thing you want to do that most guys get wrong. While the camera's clicking, you want that photographer to be capturing you actually laughing, smiling, joking, bantering back and forth with your photographer. Be you, be authentic, let those good emotions come from inside of you and create that smile on your face. There's something about a real warm authentic smile, partially because those eye muscles get activated that just makes you seem absolutely magnetic to women. Makes her smile, makes her feel like, wow, this guy feels so good about himself, about life. I want to feel that good. So have the photographer snapping a lot of photos while you're smiling and laughing and joking. And chances are very good that the most attractive photo

on photo feeler, which you'll be testing, I want you to test the best four or five or six portraits you take from this photo shoot on photo feeleler. Chances are the highest performing best photos that women find most attractive are going to be you when you're authentically smiling from a good place, from a real place. Because when a woman sees that version of you, that version who's warm, confident, in the moment, joyful, ah, that's the kind of guy she wants

as her boyfriend. Okay, so that's essential number one. You struggle with dating, right? Sure, you have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt, the apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating. Hey, I struggled with dating too. As an introvert and a total nerd, I didn't just

live in the friend zone, I owned real estate there. But I escaped. Using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love. It's what I wrote about in my best-selling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't. And radical authenticity is why psychology today called me the best dating coach in America and now I want to personally help you attract your dream girlfriend. So go to datingtransformation.com and book a free call with me. On our call I'll tell you how my one-on-one coaching will help you find your dream girlfriend and you'll be doing it by flirting with confidence and authenticity. No creepy pickup tricks needed.

So go to datingtransformation.com, book a free call today and let my personalized coaching help you get a great girlfriend. Essential number two is a knockout second portrait. A knockout second portrait. Here's why this is essential. You want your second photo on your profile to also be a portrait. To basically seal the deal of her matching with you. So think and I like to use the, I'm a boxing fan, I'm a sports guy, I like boxing. Think of your first and second photos

which should both be portraits. Think of them as a one-two punch Photo number one portrait number one makes you think okay, I'm interested photo number two Seals the deal for you. It's the knockout punch makes you think yes. I am in on this guy Wow I like I'm interested. That's what your second photo Should do the knockout second portrait the secret here for the second one is. That's what your second photo should do the knockout second portrait. The secret here for the second one is you want to make your second portrait just as magnetic as the first one, but with a different vibe, different outfit, different backdrop. That second portrait should also be compelling and magnetic and genuine, but it should just

have a different vibe than the first one because women want to see different sides of you. They want to see different layers of who you are. Complexity is attractive. Layers are attractive. When she sees you have multiple dimensions, she's more likely to find a side of you that really connects with her. So you're giving her something she wants. Women love a sense of variety when they look at a man's profile. They wanna see different sides of you. Now here's where you go wrong. Here's where you're probably going wrong.

Chances are your second photo looks a lot like your first. If you had a photo shoot, which most guys haven't, but let's say you have had a photo taken. Chances are your second photo just looks a lot like your first so it's repetitive. And that doesn't do it do women want or maybe it's just another mediocre so so photo with the fake stiff smile. And again that means you're failing with that second photo. smile. And again, that means you're failing with that second photo. Because remember, we're telling a story here, right? Your whole profile is a larger story. Look at what a great dateable guy I am. And if your second photo on your profile doesn't give her something

to tell her that story, she's going to swipe left. Okay? Here's how to do it right. So the same rules apply as magnetic photo number one. We want a magnetic portrait, authentic facial expression for photo number two. We just want to make sure you have different clothes, different backdrop, and a different vibe from profile or for the second photo on your profile. Here's how to do it, or here's how I did it, and you're welcome to use this as inspiration. So my first photo shows, let's call him GQ Connell. Jacket, dressed up Connell, GQ Connell.

I'm wearing a jacket and tie, looking professional, polished, confident, and very warm, happy. My second portrait is a different vibe. I have t-shirt and glasses. It's still me, but now I'm showing a different side. I'm wearing my glasses. I'm showing my nerdy side. I'm showing my, I'm an author side. I wrote a book. I'm an author. I'm a nerd. I'm an intellectual. It's my, I'm a nerdy Jeopardy fan photo. And that's authentic to me. I'm a big nerd, but a cool nerd. And so the first photo shows professional success,

GQ, stylish. Second photo says, look, he's a cool nerd. And a lot of women like that side of me. My girlfriend Jess is a nerd lover, thank God. And some women like my jacket and tie look, others like nerdy Connell. And even if it's not about, it might not even be about choosing one side of you over the other for women, many women just like complexity. Dichotomy. Dichotomy is a great word. Giving her contrasting views

of you creates a dichotomy complexity that's attractive, makes our minds happy. So give her different angles of your authentic self so that she can connect with the one that impacts her the most. Or just be attracted to the complexity of the dichotomy. So here are your marching orders for a photo shoot, which is going to cover essentials one and two. Do a photo shoot, set one up, find a photographer, or find somebody you know who's good with a camera. Take lots and lots of portraits at this photo shoot. You want at least two different outfits, different backdrops, and you want varying but authentic facial expressions, okay? Usually positive, genuine, and warm. But you can do other facial expressions.

You can look a little cheeky, look a little naughty, look a little bit surprised, silly, have lots of different looks, different styles. And then what I want you to do is test a half dozen or so of these portraits on Photofeeler, Photofeeler.com. Not a sponsor, by the way, I'm just a big fan. And whatever your best two performing photos are

from Photofeeler, make these your first two photos on your online dating profile. The two best scores, assuming they're different outfits with different backdrops, okay? Make sure they're different outfits with different backdrops. Okay? Make sure they're different outfits, different backdrops. This gives you a knockout second portrait for that one-two punch. So these first two essentials are by far the most important essentials here. These are all very important, that's why I call them essentials.

But I think these first two really are are gonna make or break your profile because if we hook a woman with those first two Boom, boom one two punch. She is so in okay essential number three The man of action photo. Why is this essential? Well, you want women to see you as a man who's engaged in the world Who's active? He's dynamic and that's where your man of action photo comes in. Women are drawn to men who are out there living life. Not couch potatoes, but men who are engaged in the world. She wants somebody who's alive, who's living, who leads. She wants a man with at least some edge and vitality.

And your man of action photo tells her, hey, I go places. I take action. I live life. Remember, it's part of a story. This is a 12 chapter story of why, the story of you, why you're so amazingly dateable. And we want her to see that you're out there as a man of action in the world.

Now here's where you go wrong though. Men go wrong by not having a photo like this. And that implies that you're not a man on your path, which makes you seem ordinary. Also, if you only have posed portraits, which some men only have a bunch of photos from their last photo shoot, then that can make your profile seem too editorial, like a fashion shoot. And that doesn't show you as a man of action. It just, it changes that story from look what a great catch I am to hey look, I took a bunch of photos for Bumble.

Do you like them? We don't want that story. So here's how to do it right. Here's how to find, not find, here's how to take a great man of action shot. You wanna simply look at your current life and ask yourself what do I do? That's visual that I can that can capture me in a moment of action Okay, and this again this has to be authentic

Don't steal the ones I'm about to share with you for me because it won't be you but my man of action photos Show me performing improv on a stage. I Do improv comedy musical improv theater, so I'm performing improv on a stage, but I'm doing it dynamically. I'm in a scene. I also have a man of action photo where I'm crushing a forehand on the tennis court. I'm a big tennis player. I'm not great, but I love playing.

I've got clients who've had really good man of action shots, things like rock climbing or just rock wall climbing at your gym. It's a great shot. One of my clients attends boxing classes and there's a really cool shot of him in the ring at boxing classes, sparring with somebody. You surfing, if you're a surfer, skiing, kayaking, basically anything involving movement or engagement. Have a photo taken of you in a real-life setting. I've got a lot of clients who take dance classes. I have a client named Andrew who's a big salsa dancer. He had a photographer, actually just a friend, come to one of his group dance classes

and take a bunch of photos of him spinning beautiful girls around in his class, dancing with women. And that sends such a great signal on his online dating profile. Because guess what? A woman wants to go on a date with a guy who knows his way around the dance floor. So anyway, that's how we do a man of action photo. Start with what you actually do in life where you take action. And by the way, if you're not out there taking action, if you don't have visual, dynamic, action based hobbies, that's okay. Get on that. Get on that. Do something, you know, take a kayaking lesson, or a skiing lesson or the next time you play soccer,

shoot hoops with your with your friends, have some photos taken. It's not that hard to do. And you only need one. You only need one of these photos. Okay, essential number four for an irresistible online dating profile, a social proof photo. Social proof, what does that mean, the term social proof? Social proof is a psychological principle that says, if other people like and enjoy this person, maybe I will too.

What that means is we want a woman seeing a photo of you on your profile where you're out engaging, having fun with others, you're at a dinner, you're having cocktails, you're on the dance Florida wedding and if she sees other people in this photo liking you, she's more likely to like you. It's that simple. That's what social proof is, right?

And here's why this is essential. It's simple, it's simply that women are drawn to men who are liked by others. So you want one photo that shows your social proof. A moment captured where you're out in the world, connected, having a good social time with friends, with acquaintances, some public place, or at least around other people. Because in dating, social proof translates to status. You use or stature status, it raises your stature, your status. It raises your stature, your status. And that's attractive to people in general,

and women in particular. And it shows women that you're liked, engaged, you have friends, you have a full life, and that's really attractive. Here's where you go wrong. Here's where guys go wrong. Most guys use a generic bar photo, or generic photo of a boring,

you and two or three other people, guys standing there holding your beers, holding your drinks, staring at the camera. That's flat. It's a cliche. The social proof photo should be more dynamic and show you engaged with others. Here's how to do it right. We don't just want a shot of you and three other people looking at the camera. That's not gonna get it done. We want a candid photo, a photo of you taken in the actual environment

where you're not looking at the camera. You're laughing with friends at dinner. You're on the dance floor at a wedding, doing the hokey pokey. You're singing karaoke. You're toasting at a party, raising your glass. And again, you should not be looking at the camera. We want candid, caught in the moment energy. I have a client, Derek, who's got a great photo of him at a

wedding doing a toast. He was the best man. Shot of him well dressed, reading, holding the microphone, glass of champagne in and the other hand, amazing. A credible social proof photo. So how do you do this? How do you get this fixed? Or how do you get this photo taken? You can do what I did. One night I gave a few bucks to my friend Juliet,

and we went out for the night to a couple spots, and she took photos of me. First we went to an improv comedy show I performed at, where I'm on stage, that's where I got this incredible, couple of credible photos of me. First we went to an improv comedy show, I performed at, where I'm on stage, that's where I got this incredible, couple of credible photos of me doing improv, which attracts girls who like musical theater. By the way, my girlfriend Jess,

part of why she matched with me, she's a theater nerd. She likes that I'm in a musical theater, into theater. And that's, so my social proof photo helped me attract my now girlfriend. So that night, anyway, that night, I went out with my friend Juliet. She took photos of me doing improv on stage. Later, we went to a karaoke bar where I performed a song with my friend Billy. And so there's a shot of me doing a duet with my buddy, karaoke night. So that's all we

need some kind of social proof that you're out in the world. And you can do the same. You could find somebody to spend a night with you or you're out at a cool restaurant with friends or you're at a wedding or you're taking salsa lessons. Bottom line is when women see that you're bringing that good energy and that you have a reasonably active social life, they're gonna think, oh wow, this guy's fun and popular. I want to be with a fun, popular guy. And that's what this photo is all about. Okay,

essential number five, tug at her heartstrings. Here's why this is essential. Dating isn't just about chemistry and flirting and attractive photos online. Dating is't just about chemistry and flirting and attractive photos online. Dating is about heart. So much of dating is about heart. So yes, photos of you looking attractive are absolutely important, as attractive as you can look. This is really important.

But if your profile doesn't have some heart, all bets are off. Every woman wants a man who's kind, warm, emotionally available. There's a really compelling poll survey done by a health app called Clue. They pulled 64,000 women in a survey and said, what trait is most important to you in a male partner? And the number one answer, the most popular answer was kindness. Every woman wants a man who's kind and warm and emotionally available,

or at least every woman who wants a relationship does. So we want to tug at heartstrings. Here's where you go wrong. Most guys treat their profiles like a LinkedIn laundry list of a resume info and facts facts and figures and that's a fast swipe left that's that's intellectual head that's not heart we want less head more heart here's how to do it right here's how to here's how to tug at that heartstrings right and do it in an

authentic genuine way is you can feature out you can, I want you to feature a photo or a prompt that passes the awe test. What I mean is you want either, you want one photo or one prompt that when a woman sees it, she says, aww, tugs at her heartstrings. So that might be a photo of you playing with your dog. You know that your dog is licking your face. You're you're playing together your you know, goofy smile on your face. Or maybe there's a photo of you

dancing with great your great grandma at a wedding, petting a goat at the zoo. I have a client who has a really great photo of him taken at the zoo and there's an elephant standing behind him. The elephant trunk is over his shoulder. He's holding the elephant's trunk. It's really cute. And that's what I'm talking about.

That's how we do it with photos. But you can also tug at heartstrings using prompts. This is probably the easiest thing to do. And I certainly recommend this is you have a written prompt that tugs at heartstrings. A good way to do this is if you ever volunteer, you have any causes that are important to you. Play those up in one prompt. My client Vikram, one of my former clients Vikram from several years ago, he attracted the

woman who became his now-wife, fiance and wife Sarah, he attracted her with this hinge profile. Here's what he wrote, quote, don't hate me if I talk your ear off about the amazing kids I meet at the Ronald McDonald house. Like the ten-year old boy who beat cancer and gave me one of his toy soldiers for luck. I still carry it in my backpack. Now that is a from the heart prompt that Vikram and I wrote together because it's true, it's real, it's genuine. And when Sarah saw that, she liked it, thought, wow, here's a guy, I get what a good guy this guy is.

And they talked a little bit about this on their first date. Now they're married. Now that's a real prompt. Now it goes without saying, but I'll say it're married. Now that's a real prompt. Now it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, make sure that your heartstring prompt is real. Okay, truthful. If it's not truthful, then don't do it. Of course, we don't want to do this just for results. We want to do this because it's real and authentic. But if it's the truth, tell the truth, talk about it. If you volunteer with kids, or you work for a nonprofit,

if you help rescue pit bulls, there is nothing wrong with mentioning this on your profile, as long as you do it in a way that's not coming off as bragging. We want it to come off as you just expressing something that lights you up, that allows you to give back and that's really attractive and it's part of what women want. Women want a kind guy. So make sure you have either one photo or a prompt that tugs at her heartstrings but in a genuine real way. Okay and here is essential number six flirtatious energy. Flirt somewhere on your profile you want to flirt. Here's why this is essential. It's a dating app. People are here to flirt and to date and to connect. Eventually get

intimate. So why wouldn't you flirt? Here's where you're going wrong though. Here's where most guys go wrong. You're playing it too safe. You don't put any flirtatious energy out there either because you don't know how or you're afraid you'll come off as creepy or weird. But it's not weird to flirt. It's a dating app. You want to flirt at least a little bit. So it's not creepy or weird to flirt.

What's kind of creepy and weird is to not flirt on a dating app and treat Bumble like it's linked in. So if your profile doesn't give her any romantic energy, then you're going to end up in the online dating friend zone. That's right. The friend zone doesn't only happen in real life. If you don't flirt a little bit somewhere on your profile, then you can end up in the online dating friend zone where women swipe left on you. Okay, let's not call it the friend

zone. Let's call it the Tinder tundra or the hinge hinterland. The bumble Bermuda triangle. Coffee meets no one and the bagel dies a lonely incel. Bottom line is you can end up in the friend zone on your profile just like you can in real life. Here's how to fix it. Here's how to do this right. This is so easy to fix. We just want to write a prompt that paints a picture of what a fun flirty date with you would be like. That's all. Just one prompt with a nice specific description of what it might be like to go on a date with you. So for example, you might write, quote,

"'Together we could sneak off to my favorite secret "'speak-easy for strong cocktails "'and a little naughty banter.'" Devil emoji or winking emoji. That's one option. That's one I've used. Another option, I'm just showing you what has worked for me and my clients.

I'm not saying you should copy and paste these. You want to make sure these prompts are genuine and authentic to you. Here's another option. Let's get tacos, talk trash about the bachelor, and see who's a better kisser. Parentheses, I've won awards, just saying. And here's one more.

This dumb little line got me so many matches. I wrote, I'm a gentleman on the street with a dad bod in the sheets. It's funny, I guess. It's silly. It's a little bit self-effacing. I'm talking about my dad bod, which is attractive to be self-effacing, but I'm also talking, I'm also painting the picture of me in the sheets with her. That's flirting, but I'm making it playful and jokey, which is also part of flirting. Playfulness combined with a little bit of subtle sexual innuendo.

Women love it. So make sure you flirt. Stay out, stay out of the Tinder tundra. Stay out of the hinge, hinterland. Make sure you flirt. Okay, those are the first six essentials of the 12 essentials of an irresistible profile. But we're not done yet.

We have six more coming in the next episode. And then after the next episode, you're gonna have everything that you need to start getting a lot more matches, more dates, and to finally get a really great girlfriend. And by the way, if you want personalized help overhauling your profile so that you can know exactly in a personalized way how to get more

matches, how to have me work with you on overhauling your profile so you can get lots of matches, go on a couple dates a week, finally get that girlfriend, then you are welcome to book a free call with me at datingtransformation.com. These free consultation calls are for men who are considering or open to possibly getting a dating coach. And what we would do on our free consultation call is you and I would chat for about 45 minutes and I'll look at your dating life and identify some of your problems on the apps,

maybe struggling with flirting, not knowing how to meet women, not knowing how to approach. We'll talk one on one and we'll figure out if we're a good fit to work together. The call is free. It's for guys who are open to dating coaching. So if you're interested in talking to me, book a free call, go to datingtransformation.com for a free call with me. All right. Thank you so much for listening. Until the next episode where we finish up the 12 essentials, and remember, your dream girlfriend,

she's already out there and she's gonna love you. She just has to meet the real, authentic you. Till next time.