How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - My 7 Biggest “Aha!” Dating Moments… Revealed

Starting point is 00:00:00 This photo sucks because you look like Dexter in his killer room. No wonder women aren't matching with you. Welcome to the Dating Transformation Podcast. Here's your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. Welcome back to the Dating Transformation Podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I'm the real life hitch.

Starting point is 00:00:23 I'm here to help you learn to flirt, gain confidence, and find a great romantic partner. And do this all with authenticity, the real you, showing people the real you as opposed to surface level pickup artist moves or that toxic BS you hear from certain people on YouTube. And I want to,, I want to ask you a question, pop quiz. If you could go back in time, 10, 15 years, and give your younger self a word of advice, what would you go back and tell your younger self to do or to be aware of? Would you say, hey, watch out for that person who screwed me over? Would you say, oh, don't take that job. Take this job instead. Would you say, don't watch the new Star Wars movies? J.J. Abrams just basically remade A New Hope.

Starting point is 00:01:22 What a bunch of BS. And also, would you maybe give yourself some advice about dating? What would you do differently? Well, today's episode is I want to share with you the five biggest aha moments I had in dating that I wish I had known 15 years ago when I first got into this world of working on my dating life. So these are the five biggest aha moments, and these are very personal to me. However, I'm a lot like you. I'm a natural introvert. I did not grow up with anything close to natural dating confidence.

Starting point is 00:02:02 I used to get stuck in my head around women and girls, and I just did not feel like I was very attractive to women. So if that sounds like you, then take a listen. I want to save you years of effort and struggle. I want to help you with your dating life today. And here are the five things I wish I had known about 15 or so years ago. Or another way to look at this is these are five big aha moments I had, and I want you to have them right now. So here we go. The first big aha moment I had was this.

Starting point is 00:02:38 Number one, success with women in dating, it's not about your looks or height or money or pickup lines. What women want more than anything else is to meet the most authentic, confident version of you. Your most radically authentic you is the person, the man who women are going to be drawn to. Not every woman, but many women. So I wish I had known that. My big aha moment, the first big moment was realizing, hey, women like me for me. And here's when I knew that happened. The very first night I ever went out with a dating coach, he probably called himself a pickup coach back in the day, but he was a dating coach. He did boot camps with men here in New York City.

Starting point is 00:03:34 And I remember leading up to my first boot camp out on the town with this coach, I had read the book, The Game, and I was ready to do all these tactical things like wear a loud shirt and big sparkly belt buckles and have all these rehearsed lines ready to go. And I emailed my coach a day or two before the program started. And this was a weekend we were going to spend going out, approaching women, chatting with women. And I said, hey, super psyched for the weekend. I got this cool new loud silver shirt, and I got some really cool lines that I think women are going to like. And he wrote me back and he said, don't worry about that stuff. Women like you for you. You can just be yourself.

Starting point is 00:04:23 And I thought, wait, what? Is that real? Is he pulling my leg? Because that's like something my mom would have said to me. Girls like you for you, honey. So I show up on the first night of the bootcamp and I started approaching women with my coach's help. And I ended up after some very nerve wracking, sweaty palmed approaches, I clicked with this really wonderful woman named Courtney. And Courtney and I ended up spending the evening together. We left the venue together. We went off on a karaoke date and she ended up coming back to my apartment and we spent the night together. And I woke up the next day with this beautiful girl in my bed. And I'd never had a woman of that intelligence, beauty, just, she was just a knockout inside and out. And I literally,

Starting point is 00:05:19 I literally poked her shoulder to make sure she was really there, that it wasn't a figment of my imagination. Because what I realized, and by the way, the moves I used with her, these are all laid out in the first chapter of my book if you want to get the full story. But long story short is I approached her. I showed some courage at the right moment. I was really real with her. We were both really vulnerable. At one point that first night, we were on this rooftop talking about our childhood nicknames. I was chubby and fat as a little kid.

Starting point is 00:05:57 And they called me Corn Oil Bear Fat and Mack truck. And Courtney, apparently she said, Oh, she didn't develop her figure until she was older. And the girls teased her and called her ant bites because she was flat chested. And so we were just really clicking and being vulnerable about our younger selves. And it just felt very genuine. And the way I approached her was very genuine. I just walked up and I said, Hey, what's up? How's your night going? I'm Connell. What's your name? Just very sincere, nothing fancy. And I just remember the next morning, she's lying in bed with me. She's asleep. I'm awake. And I said to myself, I can't believe this incredible woman is in my bed. I'm gonna read your mind. Ready?

Starting point is 00:06:47 I'll bet that you would love to confidently approach women, get great matches on the dating apps, flirt with charm, and attract your dream girlfriend. Right? But fear keeps you from approaching. You're not sure how to flirt. You struggle on the apps.

Starting point is 00:07:04 And desirable women just don't seem into you. Well, I have great news. Dating coach Conal Barrett can help. He's guided thousands of men like you to more confidence and helped them attract their dream girlfriends. So book a free strategy call today to see if Connell's coaching is right for you. On your call, Connell or a team member will give you personalized advice to help you have more confidence, more dates and more fun. Oh, and you'll be dating women as your best self, a charming gentleman. That's because Connell does not teach creepy pick-up artist tricks. He unlocks your most confident self.

Starting point is 00:07:46 So you can make authentic romantic connections. Your next steps? Book your free call today at datingtransformation.com forward slash contact and grab a time that works for you. Then you'll be on your way to more confidence, better results, and attracting bright, beautiful women. Oh, so you know, soon Connell will stop taking on new clients. So book a call today while you still can. Go to datingtransformation.com forward slash contact and transform your love life. Bye. You can just walk up to women and chat and be yourself and learn about them and then just leave the bar together.

Starting point is 00:08:27 And maybe even, if not have a date later, then hook up that night. Not that you need to hook up that night. You might have a date later. I just didn't think that was possible. I'd heard about guys who could do that, but I thought that's not me. And that night I realized that could be me. And that was the seeing the matrix moment for my dating life, at least in terms of approaching. And it all comes back to realizing that authenticity, really leaning into it, not as a move, but just being really radically real, honest, no lies, no lines, or at least no manipulative lines, no agenda-driven lines. You might have something cool and funny to say. That's great. But there's not a magic bullet in dating. But the closest thing there is to a magic bullet, a silver bullet, is putting that real, most best, most authentic version of you out there, sharing your sense of humor, your opinions, your vulnerability, your raw, real, honest, best self. And when you become radically authentic,

Starting point is 00:09:42 two really incredible, powerful things happen inside of the woman you're with, the woman you're talking to. Number one is she feels and sees that she's with a man who has the confidence to be himself. And confidence is attractive to every woman. Number two, she can tell that you're being honest. You're that rare 1% man who instead of lying or trying to impress her or having an agenda, you're just creating and also trust because you're being real and truthful. And when you've got confidence and trust and attraction, great things can happen. So that's the first big aha moment I had in my dating life. The second aha moment I had, let's go to dating apps. And it's this. Big aha moment I had is realizing that online dating isn't really dating until you actually meet up with that woman or have that

Starting point is 00:10:55 first phone date or phone call. Until your first real interaction with her, it's not dating. It's marketing. The secret to online dating success is having a good piece of digital marketing in the form of your profile, a profile that makes women want to see the value for them, where you look your most attractive, your personality, your authentic personality is coming out. And this was a big aha moment for me. It happened when I was first working on my online dating profiles. I did this more or less on my own. I didn't work with coaches on this.

Starting point is 00:11:37 I discovered this myself. But I did dozens of different split tests with online dating profiles, different photos, different prompts, different versions of my biography. And what I finally realized, again, the aha moment was, oh, this isn't really dating. It's just marketing. And now saying something is like marketing, that might sound on its surface like a little bit unseemly. You know, marketing, ew, marketing. It's like advertising.

Starting point is 00:12:10 It's a little bit gross. But there's something called value-added marketing or authentic marketing. And that's when companies sort of drop the veneer of telling you what they think you want to hear. And they just kind of put it out there. Like Avis. Avis used to have... Their slogan used to be, we're number two, so we try harder. They're kind of vulnerable and self-effacing. And Southwest Airlines used to do a marketing campaign that... Oh, gosh, I forget the details. but it was this really honest, counterintuitive message

Starting point is 00:12:47 about, oh, something about no hidden fees. You know how airlines have all these hidden fees? Southwest did a campaign that was about no hidden fees, although it was more clever than I'm stating it. Similarly, you can take this approach to your online dating life like I did and say, let me think of this not as dating, but as a piece of digital marketing and create the most amazing, compelling, value-offering piece of marketing that you can on your Hinge profile, on your Tinder, your Bumble. And once you get a really good piece of digital marketing in place, great photos of you, great portraits, funny, compelling prompts, maybe a joke or two that makes her laugh. Once you get a really good piece of digital marketing, then you're going to get matches. You will get matches and dates once you get your online dating marketing handled.

Starting point is 00:13:48 And I guess a secondary aha moment I had related to this one is just realizing that if your online dating profile sucks, or I should say if your online dating life sucks, if you're struggling on the apps, which most men are, it's not because you are not attractive. It's not because you suck. It's because your marketing sucks. Keep that in mind. This is good news, by the way. This means it's not personal.

Starting point is 00:14:18 My book, Dating Sucks But You Don't, the title came from a conversation I had with my agent and we were trying to come up with a good title and I had 250 terrible titles for my book. And there was a moment in the online dating chapter where I say to a client, Hey man, you think that you suck, but you don't suck. Your online dating profile sucks. This photo of you in your garage wearing a stained, greasy t-shirt, poor lighting, this photo sucks because you look like Dexter in his killer room. No wonder women aren't matching with you. But they're not not matching with you, I told him, because that you're not enough it's just that your marketing sucks but you're awesome you're a great guy and what I want you listening to

Starting point is 00:15:10 this to realize is look I don't know you you're a guy listening to my podcast but I'm fairly confident I'm very confident that you are more than enough to get some pretty great online dating results so if you're struggling there it's not that you suck it's that your marketing sucks. So fix your marketing, then get matches. That was a big aha moment I had. Okay, next epiphany, the next aha moment I had, back to approaching for a second, which is a big pain point for a lot of guys. A lot of guys come to me because they want to approach women, but they can't or don't, or they think it's wrong or weird. And here is a big epiphany I had, which is that it's not creepy to approach women. What is creepy is to want to approach women and not to do it. That is creepy and that feels weird. Let me illustrate this with

Starting point is 00:16:09 a story from my late double zeros. When I was first out working with coaches and also just going out with wingman friends, I was out one night with my buddy Brad. And Brad and I were on a rooftop bar in lower Manhattan. And we made each other a deal. That night, I had to do everything he told me to do in terms of going up and talking to girls. And he had to do everything I said. In other words, if he told me to go talk to a girl, no matter how intimidating it looked, no matter how beautiful she was or how unapproachable she might seem, I had to go in. We would basically give each other a hundred bucks

Starting point is 00:16:50 at the start of the night. And if one of us didn't do the mission, then the other guy got to keep the hundo. So that was some added leverage, some added motivation. So Brad looks over, points me, directs me toward a table where two really cute girls are sitting next to a big muscly guy. One woman's a brunette, short hair. The other has long blonde hair. And then there's this big muscly guy, big, strong, muscly looking dude. He was like a bottle of muscle milk made corporeal. And Brad basically says, go, go over there, sit down at their table, go chat them up. And I was like, oh God, they're going to hate me. This is going to feel so weird and creepy. And the guy's probably going to want to beat me up or at least get upset that I'm

Starting point is 00:17:46 hitting on whichever his girl is. I assume one of them is his girlfriend. And I didn't want to do it, but we made a deal. So I walk over, I sit down. As I sit down, I say a very mediocre, normal, nothing fancy opening line. I just say, hey guys, you look friendly. What's up? My name's Connell. How's your night going? That's all I said. And I sat down, but I sat down with as much conviction as I could muster. In other words, I didn't act like it was weird or creepy, I went in full conviction, full commitment, as if I belonged there. And so I sit down. Hey, what's up, guys? You look friendly. How are you doing? The brunette leans forward. Her eyes get really big. And she says, oh my God, you just came right up to us and sat down do you know what you are

Starting point is 00:18:47 and I thought in my head I'm like I don't know a creepy dude he's about to get his ass kicked by your big boyfriend here but I kept my cool I didn't say anything I said I played it cool I said what do you mean what am I and she said you're normal you're just normal you I? And she said, you're normal. You're just normal. You came right up to us. Thank you for that. And then she signals over to a different table.

Starting point is 00:19:20 Sitting at this other table is a guy, by the way, a skinny ginger, just like me. I remember that little detail. And she said, see that guy over there? He's been staring at us all night. And it's creeping us out, but you just came right over. Thank you. And that was a major aha moment because I realized in that moment that it's not creepy to go approach a woman. It's actually way creepier to want to do it, but stare at her. To want to do it and walk over and then stop and then turn around. Or to do it half-heartedly, to come up with a fake reason to talk to them. And there's actually two aha moments here. One is it's way creepier not to do something like this than to actually do it. The other aha moment was when you approach, you've got to do it with conviction. Do it as if you

Starting point is 00:20:15 belong there. Do it with confidence, even if it's fake confidence. Act, you know, fake it till you make it. Assume they're going to be friendly and cool. And so that's a second aha moment. I guess we're up to seven total ahas for this episode. And by the way, I got the brunette's number. She and I hit it off. She was impressed. Just the fact that I walked up to her impressed her, or walked up to them. And by the way, the dude, the big muscly guy, he was fine. He was friendly. He was not dating either of them, and he had no issue with me talking to them. He was cool. Rejection, ghosting, loneliness, lack of dates and lack of confidence. For many men, dating just sucks. But it doesn't have to.

Starting point is 00:21:11 There's a simple yet powerful way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend. Be radically authentic. It's all laid out in the number one Amazon bestselling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't, your step-by-step guide to attracting wonderful women and doing it with total authenticity. Author and dating coach Conal Barrett has had and fixed all the dating problems that you struggle with. He's also helped thousands of men gain confidence and find love. He's put his best tips and strategies into dating sucks but you don't so that you can. Confidently approach women and get dates. Become magnetic and attractive even if you're not tall or great looking. Always know what to say

Starting point is 00:22:01 to make sparks fly. Get lots of great matches and dates on the dating apps and attract your dream woman. You can find Dating Sucks But You Don't on Amazon or wherever books are sold in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. Get Dating Sucks But You Don't today to transform your confidence and find your dream girl. That was a major aha moment. So I'm walking home that night, looking at her phone number in my phone, and I'm just thinking, wow, I'm so glad that I now realize it's actually not creepy to go walk up

Starting point is 00:22:38 and say hi to people, at least at a lounge or a bar. It's public. They call it a pub because the public comes out to socialize. It's way creepier to be that guy who looks, stares, but doesn't take action. That is creepy. So don't be that kind of creep. Go up an approach and do it with conviction. Do it as if you anticipate it's going to go well. If you anticipate it's going to go well, that will change your vocal tonality. You'll say, hello, what's up? How are you guys doing?

Starting point is 00:23:11 With a sort of casual confidence that makes them feel better. So two ahas and one there. It's not creepy to approach. It's actually really cool and awesome. And as long as you do it with conviction, full commitment. In other words, do it as if you know it's going to go well. Okay, the next aha moment that I wish I had known, and I want you to know it, is, let's see, what should we make this one?

Starting point is 00:23:42 Let's call it on dates or when talking to a woman, but let's call it first dates or that first conversation. It's not about, my aha moment was to make it about what you give to her, not about what you get from her. So it's not about what you get. It's what you give. Isn't that a song? It's not what you get. It's what you give. I think it's New Radicals, right? Anyway, sidetracked. So here's what I mean by that. Have you been on a date? Or have you been talking to a girl you find cute, you're interested? And basically, you're filtering everything through this thought process of, what do I say to get her to like me? How can I get her phone number? How can I get her attracted to me? How can I get her validation? How can I get what I want? The big epiphany I had was realizing for me to get what I want, first, I'm going to have to give her

Starting point is 00:24:58 what she wants, but then also let go of worrying about getting what you want. So to get what you want, phone number, date, connection, sex, love, romance, babies, all those wonderful things we want in life, in our love life. First, you got to give. Give, give, give, give, give, give, give without worrying what you get from her. So what do I mean by that in practical terms? I'm in a relationship, but if I was going out on dates, if I was going out, then all I would care about on my first date with my next first date would be, how can I make her smile? How can I authentically, while being myself, how can I give her a great experience? How can I make her smile? And I work backwards from that. How do I make her night better?

Starting point is 00:25:51 How do I make her feel sexy? How do I make her feel special? How do I connect with her? How do I tease her if that's our vibe in a way that shows her I'm just being playful, not really teasing, I'm just being playful. Basically, how can I make her feel special, sexy, connected, seen? How can I make her feel seen? And I want to be radically giving, radically contributing, making her night better. And I know from having gone on, geez, I've probably been on a thousand dates, first dates. Having been on all these dates, I know that if I give an incredible experience to a woman, she's going to probably want to see me again if I'm more or less her type. If she can see herself with a skinny, nerdy,

Starting point is 00:26:48 kind of funny, kind of dorky ginger, introverted, but moments of extroversion, then if I'm going to give to her, then I'm sorry, if I'm going to make her feel amazing, she's probably going to want to see me again. She's going to want a second date. She's going to want a third date. It doesn't mean we're going to end up in a relationship. And it doesn't mean every girl is going to like me. But what I realized was once I made my dates or my conversations with women about giving, give, give, give, give, give. Then when I asked for what I wanted, so much more often she said, yeah. So on a date, I'm going to give, flirting,

Starting point is 00:27:35 give in the form of asking good questions, creating a connection, making her smile, just making her feel really awesome about meeting me. And then I might ask for what I want later. Hey, do you want to go out again? Or I might move in for the kiss, which is a form of asking for saying, hey, this is what I want. But if I've given a lot to her, she's probably going to be a lot more likely to want to have a moment with me if I'm making her feel great. And if she doesn't, that's okay too. Not everybody is a fit. Not everybody has chemistry. So the nice thing about shifting on dates from what you want to what you can give and offer is it feels so much better than worrying about your ego, worrying about your agenda, worrying about what you're going to get out of it. That feels a lot better to come from a place

Starting point is 00:28:25 of generous offering. And it's also just strategically smarter too. The nice thing is when you're really giving, when you're authentic and you're really trying to give her a great experience, it's coming from a higher place of integrity and offering, but it's also just good straight-up strategy to get a great win-win connection. So it's the best of both worlds. And it just feels so much better to spend your headspace on a date thinking, how can I make her smile? Instead of, what can I say or do to get what I want? So that was a major aha moment. It wasn't one date. It wasn't one date where it hit me. But I do remember a first date I had with a

Starting point is 00:29:17 woman named Eileen. Eileen, if you're out there, much love. We dated for a while. We were briefly boyfriend and girlfriend for about six months. But on our first date, my first date with Eileen, I just remember hitting this incredible zone with her where everything I said, and not everything, but so much of what I was saying and doing was just making her feel great. A tease here, which she loved. Genuinely being interested in her, sharing things about my life, and finding out about her.

Starting point is 00:29:50 She was really close to her dad. We both have Irish heritage, so we were bonding about that. And then I thought, you know what? A great way to end this date would be a really – it was raining that night, would be a really romantic rom-com movie make out in the rain. And we're leaving this bar and I hadn't, I hadn't kissed her yet or tried. And I just remember it was raining and we were about to hail a cab. And I took her by the hand and pulled her underneath this awning as it was raining and moved in and

Starting point is 00:30:26 we kissed and made out for a minute or two. And she said the sweetest, sexiest thing to me. She said, after we kissed, she just looked at me and said, I could get used to this. Talk about giving. She gave me this amazing feeling when she said that. I could get used to this. Talk about giving. She gave me this amazing feeling when she said that. I could get used to this. I felt like I was in a rom-com. And I put her in a taxi, and we had just made out in the rain, and I sent her a YouTube clip of, there's a Bob Dylan song called Buckets of Rain, classic Dylan tune. And I sent her a clip saying, look, Bob is playing our song. And Buckets of Rain, referring to the rainy, the romantic rainy night date we had. And I just remember walking home that night thinking, man, you know

Starting point is 00:31:21 what it's about? It's about giving her a great time with you. If there's a connection, enjoy it. You'll make out in the rain. And if there's not, that's okay, too. There's a lot more potential partners out there for you. And it just felt so good to be focusing on what I had to offer her rather than what I wanted to get from the date. Paradoxically, by focusing on what I could give Eileen, I ended up getting what I wanted, which was a great, sexy, fun, connected, amazing date. And we dated for six months, had a nice relationship. Anyway, okay, let's finish with one final aha moment. And it's this. Here it is. Drum roll, please. It's not what you say with women. It's how you say it. It's not what you say. It's how you say it. Perhaps the biggest, the most common question I get is some variation of what do I say? What are the the words what are the words to make her

Starting point is 00:32:28 like me could be what do I say when I approach it could be what do I say on the date it could be what is the opener to use on tinder I think the single most common question slash problem men struggle with is, what the hell do I say? And my big aha moment was, it's not about what you say, it's how you say it. The way you say it. Let me break this down. Here's what I mean by this. There's something, I didn't make this up. I mean, I didn't coin this term, but I learned

Starting point is 00:33:09 this term from one of my old coaches, and I really leaned into it. This idea of what's called man-to-woman communication. If you think about it, there are only three channels of communication we can be on in life. I'm not counting family, not counting blood relatives. Other than that, putting aside your family, there's only three kind of social frames in which to talk with somebody. Here they are. The first I'm talking about for a single, sorry, for a heterosexual man. The first is, let's call it friend to friend. Basically the way you talk with your friends, your buddies, your buddies, your acquaintances, your friends, your buddy, friend to friend. There's a way you talk to your friends. The second social frame is business slash transactional. Anything with a business context to it.

Starting point is 00:34:12 So, you know, the way you talk to your boss is business. The way you talk to the woman who is pricing you out at the grocery store or helping you find jeans because she works at the Gap. That's business slash transactional. And the third social frame for communication is man-to-woman communication. In other words, flirting. Flirting or speaking through the lens of emotions. Playfulness, flirting, emotionally charged communication. So again, there are three channels here. Friend to friend, business slash transactional, and that third is man to woman.

Starting point is 00:34:55 For you to create sparks with women, with your words, it's not about the words you say. It's about getting into that man-to-woman channel and how you say what you say. Essentially flirting. Basically, I define man-to-woman communication as emotionally compelling communication from your masculine authentic self communicating with her feminine self. That is man-to-woman communication. It can be flirtatious. It can be playful. It can be heart-connected. Often it is. Essentially, it's emotionally connecting versus the way you would talk at work would mainly be logical and analytical, right? When you and your boss are talking about your performance review or that new project, it's analytical.

Starting point is 00:36:00 It's logical. When you and your friend are talking about the Jets game, talking sports, talking with your friends, you're probably communicating in that friendly way. Obviously, it's not romantic. It's not flirtatious. It's probably less emotionally spiky than it is with, say, a potential romantic partner. So the big epiphany I had was, oh man, it's not what you say. It's how you say it. Because I could say something to a friend, the actual words I might say to a friend, I can say them in a friendly way. And there's nothing romantic about it. Like, oh man, it's really hot in here. It's getting hot in here.

Starting point is 00:36:45 Imagine you're with a friend in a bar and it's just hot. And you look at him and say, oh man, it's getting hot in here. All right, that's friend-to-friend communication. Imagine you're on a first date and she looks amazing. And the chemistry is building. And you look at her and with your eyes and your voice, you say, boy, it's getting hot in here, isn't it? So I just said the exact same words.

Starting point is 00:37:16 It's getting hot in here. There's a way you say that to a friend, and there's a way you might say that to a woman on a first date. And that, you say it with your eyes. You say it with your voice. So don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of having good, flirty, fun, compelling things to say to women. I'm a big fan of wit, flirtatiousness. I love banter. I love, love, love verbal banter. But it's not what you say. It's how you say it. So when you approach a woman, for example, I don't care what you say.

Starting point is 00:37:53 You could walk up and say, hey, what's up? I'm Jacob. I wanted to meet you. But you're saying it with a flirtatious smile. You're saying it with a look of romantic interest and genuineness. That's going to feel man to woman to her. Whereas if you walked up to a man because you wanted to make a business connection, you would say that in a different way. So the lesson here for you to take away, or that I took away, and I hope you can find use in your dating life, is stop worrying about what you say and make it about how you say it. Say it with some playfulness. Say it with some emotional resonance. Say it with some mischief. Say it with a little, could be teasing. It could be dominating if you're in a badass kind

Starting point is 00:38:50 of mood. There's a lot of different ways to be man to woman, but don't worry about the words themselves. It's what you say. I'm sorry. It's not what you say. It's how you say it. Now, this lesson breaks down. There's more nuance to this lesson when it comes to online dating, because when you're messaging women, sending an opener, you do need to be a little bit more cognizant of what you say. But still, the general concept of being man to woman absolutely applies to online dating. You want to be playful, keep it light and emotionally compelling, as opposed to worrying too much about the exact words. I hope that all makes sense. Okay. Thus ends the five. No, let's make it seven. I think we hit seven. The seven aha moments I had in my dating journey.

Starting point is 00:39:47 And I hope these have some value to you. If you want to talk with me, if you are possibly interested in hiring a dating coach, you and I can have a free conversation. Go to datingtransformation.com. And if you're looking potentially for some dating help, you and I can hop on the phone for a free call and I can share with you how I can potentially help you. And it's a free call for a roadmap forward. Anyway, you can go to datingtransformation.com I can't talk anymore. You can go to datingtransformation.com to book a call with me or to just watch some great videos, some more tips, listen to more episodes of the pod. Anyway, that is the end of this episode. And again, don't forget your dream, incredible, amazing girlfriend, partner. She's out there and she's going to love you. She just has to meet the real

Starting point is 00:40:47 authentic you. I'll see you next time. Thank you for listening to the Dating Transformation Podcast. For lots of free tips, videos, and other goodies, go to datingtransformation.com. See you next time.

How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - My 7 Biggest “Aha!” Dating Moments… Revealed

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