How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - Struggle Talking to Women IRL? My 3 Openers (90% Success Rate!) Fix that Instantly (Part 2 of 4)

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

You see a woman you’d love to talk to, but your brain locks up. You overthink what to say, and the moment is gone—so is she. In part 2 of this special 4-part series on meeting women IRL, dating coach Connell Barrett reveals his foolproof Natural Approaching Method—a simple, tested way to start authentic conversations and almost always get a positive response. And it works 90% of the time, whether you’re at a bar, coffee shop, or the gym.What You’ll Learn:3:40: How to Confidently Break the Ice with a 90% Success Rate6:08: Always Know What to Say with the Natural Approaching Method15:33: How to Compliment Women with Charm—and What to Avoid25:51: The Perfect Icebreaker? Just Ask This One Question35:00: How to Make Your Openers Fun, Flirty, and Effortless47:48: The Power of Direct Approaching—When and How to Use It51:27: What to Say When You Approach, Day or Night1:02:06: The Mindset Shift that Makes Starting Conversations Easy1:10:01: Your 24-Hour Challenge—Are You Ready to Take Action?Listen now and start confidently approaching women—with charm, authenticity, and real results!FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE GREAT FIRST DATES:http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactTO GET FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACH:http://www.datingtransformation.com/FLIRTY30WANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:[e-mail]

how about a 90% success ratio for an opener that she responds to well? Would you take that batting average? I know I certainly would. ["The Best of Me"] ["The Best of Me"] Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Connell Barrett.

I'm here to help you confidently flirt with women, get dates, and get a great girlfriend. And do it by being authentic. No pickup manipulation, silliness, and nonsense. Welcome to part two of my special four-part series on meeting and attracting women in real life just in time for Valentine's Day week. If you're tired of relying on dating apps and if you want to finally meet women out in the world organically, naturally, confidently, this series that you're listening to is your

roadmap. This is part two of four. In part one we talked about the mindset, the confidence, the internal beliefs, and the mind you have to have in place. Now it's time for the fun stuff. What to say, how to talk to women, how to flirt, all the really good stuff.

That's what we're gonna get into for the rest of the series, frankly. And if you're like I used to be, then I'll bet that you see beautiful women all the time, but your brain just locks up. You'd love to talk to them, but you overanalyze things. You see that gorgeous girl at the gym or a stylish woman at the bar or a woman at a party and you think, oh, I want to go meet her and talk to her, but what do I say? Should I be funny? Should I compliment her?

Should I say some smooth line that I heard on this YouTube channel? Should I ask her a question? No, don't do that. That's question mode. And basically you start playing mental chess, trying to find the perfect thing to say. And before you know it, she's gone. She's moved on and then you're kicking yourself. So if that sounds familiar, I used to feel the same. I struggled with dating until my late 30s. I had a lot of

self-doubt. I'm a very shy, introverted guy naturally. And I was stuck in my head all the time. And I think you're a lot like me in that regard. You're probably, you get stuck in your head, you're not sure what to say. And that hesitation can really kill the attraction before it even starts. It keeps you from even meeting women or if you do talk to women,

then chances are you're in your head and you're not really present and showing her that confident self. So after today's episode, you're never going to second guess yourself again about what to say, because I'm going to give you three simple, natural, authentic ways to start conversations with women anywhere and to do it without awkwardness, without overthinking, and without using planned, weird scripted pickup moves and also without being somebody or not. You're gonna be able to do this by being really genuine, really

yourself. And your problem here, your very likely problem with why you don't approach women other than the mindset issues we talked about in episode one, is that you're probably trying to think of the perfect thing to say. The perfect thing to say that won't get you rejected. What I'm going to teach you today is what I call my natural approaching method, which is three simple ways to open a conversation with a woman anywhere and to do it effortlessly and to do it in a way that will help you approach really cute attractive women anywhere and that I would say is 90% rejection proof.

What I'm going to teach you today is about 90% rejection proof. What I mean is once you practice this, a little bit of comfort, your approach opener will be received well somewhere between positive and super attracted 90% of the time from women. Maybe 10% of women will be mean or cold or dismissive. But how about a 90% success ratio for an opener that she responds to well? Would you take that betting average? I know I certainly would. And why, how can we get

you to a 90% approaching success ratio? At least in terms of the defining approach success by she responds well. Because as you're gonna see, we're gonna remove the thing that women reject. I've removed the thing that women reject. They reject creepiness, they reject vulgarity, or they reject social awkwardness when a man comes up to her. And we're going to take those things out of the equation using my natural approaching method, this framework I've created. So soon you're going to be able to break the ice with charm, with presence, and of course, yes, with

authenticity. And basically the natural approaching framework i'm about to share with you what it does is lowers the bar. For you having to say the perfectly right thing the perfect opener. lowering the bar like this it frees you up get you in the moment makes you feel more spontaneous and it's it's when you're most present and spontaneous that your authentic best self comes out what i call the higher self. That best most authentic you and that's who women are most attractive to attracted to and that's your most confident. And your most present and attractive and so we're gonna do that right now and and yeah I would say that the way I teach this because we're eliminating most of the rejection that holds you back because that fear is about to disappear or at least dissolve and get much smaller it's gonna make it so much easier for you to go out and actually talk to women.

We're going to remove the blocks. We're going to make you free so that you can talk to a lot more women in real life and have a lot more options. And that's going to mean phone numbers, dates, flirty interactions, sex, love, babies, all the things that you want. And yeah, I can't wait. So let's get to it. Let's talk about the natural approaching method. This is a very simple way to start talking to women in a way

that feels really relatable and charming and effortless to them and you. So here we go. The natural approaching method. There are three openers, three ice-breaking options that I'm gonna give you and here's how it works. This is the natural approaching method. You see a woman you want to talk to. She's at the gym, she's at the bar, she's at that coffee shop and you aren't sure what to say. Here's what you do. Give yourself three simple

options. Look at her and take in the situation and ask yourself number one, compliment. What do I like about her that I can compliment? Option two, a question. What makes sense that you could ask her in that context? And option three, an observation. What do you notice about her or the scene that's interesting in that moment? So again, here's the natural approaching method for what to say for those very first opening words. Number one, a compliment. Number two, a question that makes sense. And number three, an observation. That's it. That's literally all it takes to break the ice with a really attractive woman and get

a really good response. Somewhere between positive and super attracted. And then once you have the answer to one of these three questions, which will happen pretty instantly, you just go with that one. Let me break these down in more specificity. So number one, a compliment. Share something specific that you like about her but that's G rated and that's not about her looks or at least not about her body part. Okay? Something unique, a cool tattoo she has, her awesome boots, the way she walks, a

certain confident look on her face, cool glasses, anything that you want to notice that's specific and make it authentic always make it genuine. So we want that compliment to be genuine. So that's option one. Option two, ask a question. Ask something that you either want, you genuinely want to know the answer to, or that that makes sense to ask her in that environment So if you're a coffee shop You might genuinely look or look to her standing on your left as you're both in line to get coffee and you say hey What are you thinking about today ice coffee or hot coffee? I'm curious. I'm taking a poll that question makes sense

Nine out of ten women are going to answer that question in a very positive way. Only she has to be in a really bad mood to not answer a question like that. And the third option is observation. Call out something unusual about her or the situation. Like there was a time I noticed a woman. This is in Miami I'm walking down the street. This woman is standing outside of a yoga studio. She's holding a yoga mat in one hand Her yoga she's wearing her yoga outfit and she's got a cigarette in the other. She's fucking a cigarette. I Observed that unusual thing and I walked on up I walked up and I said hey nothing like a smoke break

During yoga class, right? And she laughed and immediately acknowledged the truthful thing that I was observing. So it's that simple. That's it. That's the natural approaching method in its most cliff note version. Instead of, what do I say that's perfect, that's clever, that's funny? That's what gets you in your head. That's what makes it so hard to go up to women. You overthink it. We're going to underthink it. We're going to think just the right amount.

Should I ask a number one, or should I give her a compliment? Should I ask her a question? Or should I make an observation and use that as the icebreaker? And by choosing any of these three options, you're removing the thing that women reject. You're not being vulgar, you're not doing something sexual, and you're also not saying something socially weird or awkward. You're asking her a question about what's in her grocery cart at the grocery store. That's not weird, that's normal. You're giving her a compliment about the really cool sunglasses she's wearing as she sits

in the park. That's not weird. That's normal. What is she going to say? Get away. I don't want you to compliment me on my cool sunglasses. No. Nine out of ten women will handle that really nicely and they'll appreciate it.

Or that third option, observation. You're calling out something unusual, different, that stands out, and that, the truth of that is also going to resonate with her. So again, number one compliment, number two question, number three observation, and when you have the answer, you just go for it. Here's a little window into how powerful this is, and what a high batting average you can have in terms of approaches that go well. A couple months ago, my client, Rocky, his nickname is Rocky, my client Rocky and I went out.

Rocky is a sweet wonderful gentleman mid-40s. He's a finance guy here in New York City, Indian heritage and very just genuine, oh single dad and just a great guy. And Rocky and I went out for a whole night and all he did the entire night was he relied on one of these three options and he started with the he leaned on the question opener and the question that made sense for him that night was he had just overhauled his style and he was walking up to women. I was his wingman by the way. So I go out with my clients here in New York. I'm their wingman. I help them approach. I

help them get numbers. I help them get dates. I'm literally side-by-side with Rocky for a whole weekend and he's just walking up to women saying, hey what do you think of my outfit? I just got a brand new look. What do you think of it? He was asking a genuine question that made sense given the context, which was he had just done a whole makeover with my style guru and every single woman had a positive response, every single one the entire night. And he bounced around and did some other opens as well.

But that night he did something that I'd never seen before in my 13 years as a dating coach and 13 years coaching men in person. Rocky threw what I call a perfect game. He talked to I forget the exact number but it was like 18 maybe 20 women that night it was a huge number like 20 18 20. And he threw a perfect game. Meaning he did not have a single approach that was rejected. Every single woman responded well. He grabbed two or three phone numbers, lined up a date or two, and he did not have a single quote rejection. He felt amazing. He felt incredible at the end of the night.

And now I can't promise you'll have a 100% perfect game like Rocky, but I can tell you that there's a very high percentage of good responses when you use this method. Okay, and here's an example from my past of me using this method. Back in the day, I used to be so in my head about approaching women. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to do it. And then I fell into what I now call this natural approaching method. And I just said, you know what's working best?

Compliments, questions, or observations. And I remember one night I was at a rooftop lounge here in New York City. I saw this beautiful woman in a beautiful brunette in a silvery dress. She looked like Jennifer Beals from Flashdance. This is one of my favorite 80s movies and Jennifer Beals was my big crush back in the day. I pretty much started puberty watching Flashdance, watching Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. Anyway, I see this woman who looks like Jennifer Beals and that was my observation. That was my opener I walked over and said hey, you look just like the girl from flashdance. You look like Jennifer Beals She was my first big movie crush. That's all I said and

This woman's eyes lit up. She smiled she said oh, yeah, I think I know that movie we danced for a little bit and We a few minutes later we were on the dance floor making out. And I got her number for a date later that week. And all I did was I made an observation. So my observation opener worked really well. So anyway, when you see a woman you love to go talk to, stop making the mistake of, what do I say? It's an understandable question to ask yourself, but it's not helping

you. I want you to shift your mindset. Instead, look at the situation and just ask yourself, okay, should I do a compliment? Should I do a question? Or can I observe something and use that? And then choose any of those three? Commit to it and then you're gonna have a great great icebreaker Okay. Now what I'm gonna do now is I want to break down each of these three Openers these three options with some more real-world examples just so you are crystal clear on how this works and Also, so you are crystal clear on how this works and also so you can start using these openers and this natural approaching method today. So here we go.

Let's start with number one, the compliment. The art of the compliment. The key piece here is that you simply want to notice something that you genuinely like about her besides her most obvious physical features, okay? And you want to make your compliments specific. So avoid vague compliments like, you look nice or something really generic like that. That's better than not approaching at all, but that's not going to cut it.

It's not going to land as well with her. The more personalized and real and specific your compliments the better. And so here are some examples. Just give you a quick little hit list. Here are some great ones that I have used and my clients have. I love that tattoo. That's a great design. What's the story behind it? Next, those are really stylish leather boots. I respect a woman with good boot game. I love your glasses.

They're cool, but they're also nerdy in the best way. Hey, that's a really great nose ring. Very early 90s. Are you in a band? Another one. This is more, this is a bit more direct, but hey, you're really cute. I just want to come over and say hi. That's a compliment.

I love this in a bookstore. Here's a great one for a bookstore. Ah, I see that pretty girls still read actual books. Okay? Or you're in a bookstore and you see that she's reading a book that you like. Oh, that's a really good book. It's a really good book. It's a really good book. You have good taste in books. You might see a woman's jacket. Women put a lot of time

and thought into their clothes. You might say, hey that's a great jacket. Very stylish, very vintage. Are you naturally stylish or did you have to work on it? Those are just some examples. And I remember, and these don't have to have tons of masculine alpha energy. If that's authentic to you, great. But you can open with just a simple compliment about something she's wearing. I dated a beautiful Spanish woman for a while and I approached her outside one afternoon. I noticed her hair and I wanted to compliment, and I approached her outside one afternoon. I noticed her hair, and I wanted to compliment it, and I just said, hey, your hair looks amazing today.

You have great windswept hair. It's just, you look, I said something like, yeah, it's very windswept, it looks fantastic. There was nothing fancy about that opener, but it was something to get things started. It was a compliment that opened the door. And the goal of an approach is not to create instant attraction. It's not to instantly make her into you. That can happen and I'll talk about a way to

approach to do more direct opens shortly that can make some instant romantic attraction happen. But the main goal of an icebreaker and approach opener is just to start a conversation that could lead to a date and a real connection. So yeah, the compliment, an authentic specific compliment that's G-rated and that you mean is almost rejection proof. Really is because you're not hitting on her. You're giving her a small genuine gift. And guess what? Women love receiving little gifts from men. In this case it's the gift of a compliment. I like to use

the metaphor I call it the $20 theory of approaching. I think of every time I walk up to a woman I give her a compliment I'm hand it's like I'm handing out $20 bills here's a 20 you want it most women are most people are gonna take a free 20 if you offer to them however the way most men approach is they walk up and they are trying to get metaphorically $20 from that woman they're trying to get something give Give me your number. Give me validation. Give me a feeling of being worth something. That's not gonna work very well with women. Women want a man who gives them something. So I think I think of the compliment opener as a little gift. You're just handing out 20s and that takes so much of the pressure off of you. Your goal is to just

offer a 20. Off offer a specific compliment. Now flirting is allowed. You don't have to just say, hey, I like your hair, like I did with that Spanish girl. I probably came off like her best gay friend at first. You are allowed to flirt. It is okay to show romantic interest.

We just want it to feel natural, okay? We want it to come out in a very genuine authentic way. So here's an example of me combining flirtatiousness with the compliment. I was at a Whole Foods once and I saw this woman named Lisa, I think I just mentioned this on the last, maybe the last episode, and I saw a woman in the frozen food section She was all bundled up. She was wearing a fuzzy white hat pink scarf. She looked incredible She looked like the cover of a J. Crew catalog frankly, or she just stepped out of a fashion shoot

So I walked up and I said Basically, this is sort of a combination of an, actually this is a combination of observation and compliment. I said, hey, you look just like the cover of a J.Crew winter catalog. Very cute, I said. So I made it flirtatious by adding the phrase very cute. She lit up with a big smile and a couple nights later we were on our first date. We dated for a while. So yeah, and here's a bonus tip on compliment, the compliment opener.

Again, keep them G rated, PG at most. Again, choose things like style choices or her vibe or her personality, not her body parts. Right? So a good compliment opener would be, hey, you have such cool energy. Like you're just effortlessly confident. It's a good compliment opener would be, hey you have such cool energy, like you're just effortlessly confident. It's a great compliment. A bad one would be, damn girl you got a crazy body. Now that's arguably, that's pretty much catcalling and that's gonna get you ignored and considered a creep. Okay? If you are gonna go with the body part, here's the one exception to the don't compliment her body part rule, is I know I was at Barnes and Noble one day and I saw this beautiful woman and what I noticed

was her cheekbones. She had these perfectly like etched cheekbones like from a painting and I just basically went over and said that and I said hey I just saw you andched cheekbones like from a painting and I just basically went over and said that and I said hey I just saw you and your cheekbones I saw your cheekbones from over there they sucked me in like tractor beams and then that very night she and I were on a date that ended in my apartment we're on my rooftop having red wine on a Saturday night and all I did was go up to her Saturday afternoon and say hey I was go up to her Saturday afternoon and say hey I love your cheekbones they drew me in like tractor beams so if you

are gonna complement a physical attribute think hair think facial structure maybe eyes but if you're gonna complement eyes beware of the cliche of you have beautiful eyes that is a bit of a cliche. You might wanna go with something more like, hey, the color of your eyes are incredible. You might ask, actually that's not a bad opener for either a question or a compliment. You could say, hey, I just saw your eyes.

They're absolutely sparkling. Amazing eyes. Compliment. Or, hey, excuse me me miss. Can I ask you a question? What color are your eyes? They're absolutely radiant there's a great little clip from Javier Bardem movie called Vicky Cristina Barcelona where he walks up to Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall and he does the What color are your eyes opener? It's a really really cool. I'll put it here if I if I can find the clip So yeah, you can be flirty absolutely with a compliment But always respectful always a charming gentleman

Women love an approach that is charming that is charming. You can be sexy and naughty and X-rated later and you will but keep it G-rated and innocent. One final point on that. I dated a woman named, I'll call her Allison. Allison at the time we were dating beautiful college grad student at New York City, NYU Tisch dance. She was a dancer. She was a dance student at NYC, a dance company called Tisch. And we were lying in bed one day. I'm not, not one day.

We were lying in bed the morning after we were together for the first time. It was our first night of intimacy and we're lying in bed together and we're making pillow talk. And she said, you know what I loved about how you approached me? I said, what? She said it was so innocent. And the way I approached her was in the daytime,

she was walking out of a clothing store, and I simply walked up and said, hey, I just saw you, and I wanted to meet you. You're adorable. Now that's a direct approach. Technically, it's not really the indirect compliment that I've been talking about, but for the sake of this part of the podcast, just go with me for a second. I said, hey, you're adorable. I just wanted to come say hi to you. And then that ended up leading to our dating. Anyway, we're in bed together. And she said, I loved how innocent

you were when you approached me. Now, Allison and I had just gotten done having the most incredible raunchy night of sex. We pretty much did it on every, every part of furniture in my apartment. And yet there she is telling me in bed, as we're in bed together, saying how innocent my approach was. So the lesson here is make those approaches G rated or at most PG rated. You can be R rated and X rated later with each other in private. You struggle with dating, right? Sure, you have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt, the apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating. Hey, I struggled with dating too. As an introvert

and a total nerd, I didn't just live in the friend zone, I owned real estate there. But I escaped. Using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love. It's what I wrote about in my bestselling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't, and radical authenticity is why psychology today called me the best dating coach in America. And now I want to personally help you attract your dream girlfriend. So go to datingtransformation.com and book a free call with me on our call I'll tell you how my one-on-one coaching will help you find your dream girlfriend

And you'll be doing it by flirting with confidence and authenticity No creepy pickup tricks needed so go to datingcom, book a free call today, and let my personalized coaching help you get a great girlfriend. Let's shift to the second of the three options here, a question. Asking a question that makes sense. Let's go more in depth about how to do this. So a great way to open a conversation is just by asking a question that naturally fits the environment and this takes the pressure off of you to come up with something amazing. You just ask something that makes sense in the environment. So for

example let's say you're at Starbucks. Excuse me miss, what are you thinking today? You thinking ice coffee or hot coffee? Or hey, I need some help deciding. Should I get a muffin or a brownie? What do you think? That's a question that makes sense. Maybe you're at the grocery store. You see there's a woman next to you and you say, oh, hey, excuse me, miss, what's for

dinner tonight? Or should I steal your recipe? you might Also at a grocery store you might Just simply ask her for her advice Women love being asked advice about something you might be looking to cook something you might be baking something I'm just making this up right now, but you might say hey excuse me Do you know anything about baking because I'm not sure if I should get baking powder or baking soda What do you think?

Not a woman in the world is gonna reject that 99% of them because it's such a normal question okay, or Maybe you simply you might notice something in her shopping cart and ask her a question about it. Oh, hey, I see you have I See you have Three different kinds of pizza What is that your favorite food? Are you a pizza addict? I'm not saying these are deep I'm not saying these are like game-changing Lee brilliant. That's what makes them work though. They're just normal

They're just normal genuine questions that humans would ask other humans. At the gym, here's a couple of really good ones for the gym. You might ask her what her go-to workout is. Hey what brings you to the gym today? Are you doing cardio or are you doing weights? Or one of my favorites is simply, hey pardon me miss, I get her attention. She's got headphones in, as most women do with the gym. And I'll say, hey, what's on your playlist today? Are you listening to music or a podcast? What is she gonna say?

Get away, how dare you ask me what music I'm listening to? No, she's gonna answer me. And at the very least, it'll be positive and friendly. Or at least polite and friendly. At the very best, her eyes might light up at the fact that you or me or a cool guy is chatting with her. And that's all it takes to get a great approach started. Here's a couple more examples for questions you might ask. You're at a bar or a social setting. Three or four women are in a group at

the bar. You've probably seen many groups of women and that intimidated you, right? What do I say? Who do I talk to? Walk up to the whole group, treat them as one three or four headed pretty monster, beast, and say, hey ladies, looking stylish tonight. What brings you out tonight? What are we celebrating tonight? There's the question.

What are we out tonight? What are you? What are we celebrating tonight? There's the question. What are we celebrating tonight and They're gonna be celebrating something Whether it's a party or something specific like a birth like a birthday or maybe they're just celebrating that's Friday night I Have asked many women the simple question of I've noticed a drink she's holding on my hey hey what excuse me what is that what kind of drink is that is that a long island iced tea whatever it might be so just ask a question that's that simple basically and the key here what here's what makes it work what makes it work is whenever a man talks to a woman, she's trying to make sense of

the dynamic at play here. You asking the question gives her an immediate answer to, oh, he's asking a question. He's curious about something. Now, she might also make an assumption that you're interested in her romantically, which is very true in this case probably, but because you're not putting any hardcore sexual vulgar energy out there, you're not giving her anything to reject. And essentially it helps to start a lot of conversations. Does this all make sense so far? I hope it does. I hope it does. So a couple more quick examples. Here's a couple quick examples of...

So again, the secret with the question is you want to have it make sense, given where you are. So you wanna avoid something really off topic. You're at a coffee shop. A question that doesn't make sense would be, oh hey, do you like action movies? Huh? That's a weird question to ask. So that would be off-putting to many women. Or you're at a bookstore and you just walk up to a woman and say, hey, do you like pizza? I had a guy who I didn't actually coach him but I talked to him once. He's like, yeah, I just walk up to women

and I say hey, do you like pizza and That that's better than not talking to her at all But it's not gonna make sense to most women and that's going to come off as weird and off-putting So instead of at a coffee shop saying do you like action movies which makes no sense? You might say oh, hey saying do you like action movies which makes no sense you might say oh hey what's your coffee of choice today are you a pumpkin spice girl or are you going with something more more streamlined down the line black are you a black coffee purist or do you secretly love pumpkin spice make sense the so what we want the question to make sense to her.

So the best way to do that is just ask a question that makes sense given your environment. Another way to think about this would be maybe the general context of what's happening in the world around you. If it's the day after a big holiday of perfectly valid question might be, oh, hey, how was your July 4th? How was your Valentine's day? What did you do for XYZ holiday? The Super Bowl just happened as I'm recording this. It's the day after a big sporting event.

Hey, who'd you have in the big game last night? Did you watch the game? So you could also just use the larger context of what's happening in the world. So yeah, basically the idea here is we want to stop overthinking and just choose one of these options, right? A compliment, a question, or an observation. Women are not looking for perfect openers. They just want a guy who's confident enough to say something and to have that something be something that makes sense.

And just the fact that you're using my natural approaching method here, this makes it very real world and relatable. And this puts you in the top level of men because most men don't talk to women at all unless they have alcohol or weird pickup lines and you're doing it in a very genuine relatable way. One more bonus tip about questions. Gravitate toward open-ended questions instead of yes or no questions. Open-ended questions are going to lead to better conversations because they're going to invite her to say a little bit more So for example, if you ask a yes or no question like hey, you're a Trader Joe's right? You're at a grocery store

Oh, hey, do you shop here at Trader Joe's often? That she'll probably just say yes or no and then the conversation may very well stall Because guess what? That's right. Women struggle with what to say too, just like you do, right? But if you ask her, so why do you come to Trader Joe's? Or what do you like most about Trader Joe's? Then she'll have a reason to open up a little bit more and that will make your approach opener more natural and more engaging. And yeah, again, don't be afraid of questions. I hear a lot of guys saying,

oh, I don't wanna ask questions. Well, you know, I don't wanna get into interview mode. Well, we'll talk about that in the next series about keeping the conversation going and getting phone numbers and dates. But for the icebreaker, for that opener, questions are fantastic because that's how humans interact. We ask each other questions all the time. We just want to make it a question that makes sense given the environment. Okay and the third

option is observation. You basically make an observation and you call it out or you base your opener based on what you observe. And this is my personal favorite of the natural approaching method. I love compliments, I've done a million of them. I love questions, I've asked a million of them. Observations is my personal favorite because it allows you to be playful,

it lets you use your wit, and it really brings you into the moment And it allows you to be fun and even funny But without having to be a comedian, you don't have to be the world's most clever Comedic personality all you have to do is notice something slightly unusual and point it out so I'm going to talk a little bit about observations and how being funny, by the way, is not required with an observation opener, but it opens up the door to be funny. So there's a concept in comedy called the unusual thing. So when a TV character or a movie character does something unexpected and

does something unusual, it's that unexpected thing that creates the humor. So for example, think Steve Carell in the 40 year old Virgin. The chest waxing scene is funny not because of the pain he's in, although that does make us cringe, it's because of the ridiculous unusual things he's yelling out, right? He's yelling out all these crazy things. That's what's funny because he's yelling out unusual things. In a similar vein, when you notice something unusual about in the environment that something a woman's doing or the environment is unusual and you call out that unusual thing, that can create a really fun funny natural way to break

the ice in a way that you're gonna make her laugh and she's gonna find it so very charming so for example so basically what you do with the with the observational opener is you notice something unusual and you just call it out for example here's an example of me doing it with humor. A while back, I was at a bookstore, and I saw a woman. No, I'm sorry. I was at a park. I was in a park, and I saw a woman unfolding this giant paper map.

In the 2020s, that's pretty unusual. Who uses a paper map? So I noticed that that was the twenty twenties. That's that's pretty unusual like who uses a paper map so i i noticed that was the unusual thing and so i walked up and i made it playful. I said hey i see you have a paper map are you a time traveler from the eighties. Where did you park your delorean and she cracked up and she laughed and the reason she cracked up and laughed, it's not because the thing I said was the funniest thing in the world, it's because I called out something truthful and unusual. Another time I was at Starbucks, I saw a woman just pouring tons of sugar,

like five sugar packets into a giant ice coffee. And I smiled and said, ah, I see you take a little coffee with your sugar and again she laughed she giggled with embarrassment and then we were off to the races at least in terms of having a conversation and one of my favorite ways to do this at night is I'll notice two or three women all texting at the same time now they're texting other people but three women standing in a bar when they could be talking to each other and they're all other people, but three women standing in a bar when they could be

talking to each other and they're all three texting, that to me that's unusual. It's actually pretty common to see it, but it's an unusual thing to do in the world. So I've said this one many times. I walk up and I say, hey, you know, you guys can just talk to each other. You don't have to text. I mean, you're standing right there. And it usually gets a really good laugh. It's low pressure, it's fun, and it makes women laugh. And again, and I know I've been talking about humor and how observational openers can be funny.

They absolutely can. Here's one more quick example. Well I gave you the example earlier of that woman smoking while wearing her yoga outfit and I called that that out something like oh hey nothing like the cigarette after downward facing dog right another time there is a woman standing outside. Of the bookstore she's looking out she was looking in from the outside that's not that unusual. What she was there for like a solid minute just looking inside and so I thought that was kind of strange so I walked up and I said did you get in trouble did you get it are you on a timeout from the bookstore what did what did you do what did you do and she again she loved it went really well so that's how to be fun and funny with an observational opener

but it doesn't have to always be funny. You can also just make an observation and and use that as an icebreaker even if there's no humor involved. So for example, one time I saw a woman at a coffee shop and she had a Death Cab for Cutie sticker on her laptop and I'm a big fan of that band and I just said oh it I observed that she had this death cab for QD sticker and I just said hey I love your death cab sticker I'm a big fan of their music instantly good response we start talking we had a great conversation so essentially you can observe not just something that's unusual and make it a joke but really for now just keep it basic or keep it

foundational. If you notice something that is different and that stands out to you then you can use that to start an interesting conversation. Oh and speaking of stickers there's another approach I did once where she had this woman had a sticker on her laptop that said less what was it more feminism less bullshit and that really caught my attention because at the time I was listening to a lot of podcasts and reading a lot about feminism I was I was just interested in the topic and so I used that as my observation technically it was an observation that led to a compliment so we're combining elements here right combining observation and complement and I said hey excuse me miss that's a really cool sticker I love the feminism

sticker and I asked her about it I said why that she told me why and I said, oh no cat no no kidding I'm actually listening to a feminism podcast right now and I told her the podcast I've been listening to and I sat down and Basically, we're on an instant date right then and there and all I did was I made an observation Okay, so being funny is a nice bonus, but it's not required. All you have to do is notice something slightly unusual and Comment on it one final example from my life. I was at the gym Once and a woman had a water bottle, but it was shaped like a flask. It was clear. It was like a big clear flask unusual, right and I noticed it when I cracked a joke. I think I said, that's

where you can use the observation humorously. I said, oh excuse me miss, I see you bring a flask to the gym. What kind of gin? What kind of vodka or gin are you drinking today? And she immediately laughed and she got it. So that's how the observational openers work Yeah, here are a couple more examples and basically You want to just work with what the situation gives you right? So let's say you're at a bookstore You know, you might make observations actually let me back up. Here are some ways to make your observations even more dynamic. The way

to make it really more dynamic is to make your observation a you statement. Why oh you? Right? Meaning it's about her. It's about her as opposed to, oh I like your boots or I see you put a lot of sugar in your coffee. You make the observation about her the person. This makes it more dynamic. For example, you're at a bookstore and you see a woman who's your type and she's, you're impressed that she's reading an actual book. So you might say, hey you're the only person I've seen actually reading an actual book today. That's so impressive.

Are you old school? Do you like to read actual books? Or do you just like to listen to audiobooks? So essentially you're making a personal observation about her and then you're asking a question based on your observation I Remember here's a really good powerful observation. I made once I'm walking down in a park here in New York City and This gorgeous brunette is walking next to me. It's a Sunday afternoon and a summer afternoon sunny summer afternoon and a summer afternoon, sunny summer afternoon, and she's walking in my vicinity.

And I turn and I observe, she's standing really tall. She has like a swagger. She has a swagger. And I just looked at her and I said, you walk with a lot of swagger and confidence. She smiled and I kept going. I said, yeah, you walk like you walk like you're the mayor of New York.

That's just where my mind went. So I'm being so spontaneous. I'm being in the moment, nothing scripted, nothing planned, it's all coming organically. Women can feel that and they like it. And she said, oh, well I am the mayor of New York. So she's playing into my opener. She's hitting the tennis ball back. And then I said, oh, well, you look

way better in person than you do on TV, Mr. Mayor, like way better. Now I'm flirting with her. And then 10 minutes later, we were on an instant date, instant date. We just went to get a smoothie together. And I'll talk in the next episode about how to have instant dates. How to go from the approach to an instant date, literally in minutes. So yeah, those are more examples of observational openers. Yeah, okay. So here's... Now I want to give you a few more kind of a rapid-fire Okay, I'm just going to throw different options at you

Not that I want you to plan any of these openers, but I just want you to have more examples in your mind Okay, so some more compliments Hey, that's an awesome leather jacket You could compliment her vibe. Hey I like your vibe. Very chill but also mysterious. You might say at night, hey that dress you're wearing tonight is trouble and I fully support it. Okay those are examples of classy compliments. Here are some observational openers. More that just create a fun vibe. Hey let's say you're at a coffee shop.

Wow, you're the only person drinking hot coffee in the middle of summer. That's a power move. That's an observation. Maybe you notice her dog. See lots of women out there with dogs. Your dog definitely runs this relationship, doesn't he? That's a really good one you can have in your back pocket.

Another observational opener you can have in your back pocket. Another observational opener you can have in your back pocket. You're going to notice what she's drinking. You can give her a fun little observational tease about what she's drinking at a bar. Oh, I see you're drinking a PBR. Come on. You're way too put together to be drinking a PBR. What's the story there? Okay. a PBR. What's the story there? Okay, so you can have some like preloaded questions, compliments

and observations ready to go. I don't want you to memorize things. I'm not a big fan of that because I don't want you in your head. I don't want you, I don't want you, I don't want her to feel like you're reciting scripted material. But if you know you're going to see a girl with her dog, you can be ready to say, boy, hey, cute dog. He runs the relationship, doesn't he? You can be ready to say that. Don't fast forward. This is not an ad. It's a free thing that's going to help you flirt with confidence because I'll bet that you struggle with what to say to women and how to flirt, right? Well, let's fix that I'm going to give you what I call the flirty 30

These are 30 flirty questions to ask women on the apps or on dates or when you approach So that you can confidently connect with cool sexy women starting today It's time to stop running out of things to say and start asking them flirty questions that are going to make them want to date you. So to get your copy of the Flirty 30, it's totally free. Just go to datingtransformation.com slash flirty 30 and that's F-L-I-R-T-Y three zero. Datingtransformation.com slash flirty 30. You're about to start confidently flirting with women,

going on dates, and soon getting a great girlfriend. Go get your flirty 30. So basically, the takeaway here for you is again, you've got these three very relatable, high percentage ways to open conversations with women. And these work anywhere, anywhere, at night, in the daytime, in coffee shops. You just adjust based on where you are.

Look at the scene, look at the situation, be in the present moment, baby, and ask yourself, hey, should I do a question? Should I, sorry, should I give a compliment? Should I give her a question? Or should I share an observation? And don't ask yourself what's the perfect thing to choose. Just pick the first thing that enters your mind.

Once you practice this and get a little bit comfortable doing it, you're gonna see that roughly 90% of these icebreakers will get you somewhere between a positive to a very attracted and positive response from women. And I'll take that 90% batting average every day of the week. I hope you will as well. Okay, now let's talk about approaching in a direct way. I'm going to switch away from what I call that natural approaching method.

Let's talk about being more direct. Some guys just love the idea of being direct, of locking eyes with a woman, walking straight up to her, and just letting her know exactly why you're there. No games, no easing in, just bold, raw confidence. That's the direct approach. And here's the thing about direct approaching. I love it. I'm a big fan of it. I'll tell you a quick story about this. Thing about the direct approach though, is your 90% successful opening rate, that's not going

to hold here. It's going to be way more polarizing. And that's totally okay. When you go direct, and by direct all I mean is you are walking up and putting clear romantic interest on the table from the get-go. You're making it crystal clear why you're there. When you go direct that way, it's very polarizing. So you're going to get, when you get a big thumbs up, when you get a really positive response, it's gonna be so positive. It's gonna be

incredible. It's gonna feel like you're a Superman because you're just gonna be like, oh my god, I walked up to that woman, I told her she was sexy, and then she just like, her jaw dropped, and next thing I knew she was Demanding I take her out on a date that'll change your life and that'll feel amazing at the same time When you go direct you're going to get a lot of quick Blowouts, I don't like the word rejection. I prefer the word blowout because rejections a scary word with lots of Negativity tied to it, But blowout is like fun, so I like to call it a blowout. Anyway, if you go direct, you're gonna get lots of blowouts. So just be ready for that.

You need a thick skin to do direct approaching. But man, it's really powerful. So let's talk about direct approaching. Yeah, so if you wanna just own the moment, create instant attraction, direct approaching is what's going to get it done. Women are just not used to men who can walk up and state their interest unhesitatingly in a powerful, confident way.

It's refreshing, it's rare, and it's very sexy to a lot of women, to the women who like it. And I remember the first night in Manhattan, or a night, the first night I ever went out, and all I did that whole night was I practiced being direct. It was so scary at first. I gave myself a mission. Actually, my coach at the time gave me a mission. He said, Connell, go out,

and I want you to approach every single woman the exact same way. Go out and tell every woman tonight at this rooftop bar, you're sexy. I had to do that for an entire night. It was the you're sexy night. So I go to this rooftop bar, I walk up to a woman and I'm so nervous and I'm like, hi, you're sexy. She's like, okay, great, nice, bye. Second one, I walked up, hey, what's going on? How's your night? Wait, no, be direct.

Hey, you're sexy. And she was like, oh, okay, well, thanks. We chatted for a minute, but you know, nothing really happened. But it went a little better the second time. I felt a bit more comfortable. Then, third girl, long red hair, killer dress, tight tiny little dress, super cute. I was getting in the zone because essentially the first two approaches, my direct approaches

got rebuffed but not in a mean way. They were just like, okay, whatever, dude. And all of a sudden I felt like, hey, I don't really have anything to lose here. And I felt more free. And I walked up and I just went for it. And I said, hey, I just saw you and you're absolutely stunning and sexy. I had to come meet you.

And she looked at me and she just kind of cocked her head and gave me a very sexy look and she gave me like really burning eye contact like intense eye contact and said you are cute but it wasn't just you're cute she said it she said it with these hungry eyes. I had never walked up to a beautiful woman before and been that direct and had, from the first words, and had instant attraction. It was absolutely addictive.

And we were talking, our hands were all over each other. We were making out within minutes, we ended up going back to her apartment. My memory of that night, I won't kiss and tell, but my memory is she had this in the second floor of her apartment, she had a duplex and she had like 50 stuffed animals. She had a panther. One of her stuffed animals was a panther. We texted each other for the whole next couple of weeks. She's like, panther misses you,

you should come back and see panther. Anyway, all I did was walk up to this gorgeous redhead and I just said, hey, you're sexy. I had to meet you. And that created that instant raw animal attraction. And that's the power of being direct. No mixed signals, no wondering what to say, you just lead with raw realness. To me, this is like an elemental core way of being what I call radically authentic.

What's more authentic than a masculine, sexually healthy man like you walking up to a gorgeous woman and saying hey you're sexy as fuck I had to meet you and Again, it's polarizing that is too direct and too intense for a lot of women But for girls like panther girl ginger panther girl It'll lead to some incredible wins for you So just be ready that it is by definition polarizing. Okay, how do you go direct? Well it's pretty simple.

You see her, you take a breath, you walk up with strong eye contact and the most confident relaxed tone possible and you just say something simple and direct, clear, simple words that needs to align with clear, strong eye contact and your best posture. You walk up, stand tall, look her in the eye and say something like, hey, I just saw you and I had to meet you. Or, you're absolutely adorable. Or, damn, you're gorgeous, who are you?

Or, hey, I'm here to flirt with you. Or, you are sexy. Okay, that's it. No fluff. No overthinking. No worrying about how good the line is. You're leading with raw, honest attraction. You're a man. She's a woman. You both want romance and love and sex,

not necessarily in that order. Why not just put it on the table? Not that you're just looking up just to bang, you're not just about sex, but that's why you're there. There's no need to no need to hide it. And bro, this blew my mind when I saw how well this can work Because if you're like me you are thinking well, you can't walk up to a woman and say something sexual. That's creepy and weird Take it from me. I've been doing this for I've been approaching women for 16 years and Working on this area for 20 years and coaching for 13 years. You absolutely can Be direct and create mad sparks. You just have to do it with with real commitment. You can't half-ass this. You got to use your

whole ass. You can use every part of your ass. And I'll say it again, it's how you say it is more important than what you say. So we're talking about clear simple language. You're sexy. You're gorgeous. Hey, what's up? I had to meet you. I just came over because I had to say hi to you. You're sexy. Something like that. It's the words are clear, but listen to my voice. It's my voice is clear as well. There needs to be an alignment. Your words, your voice, your eye contact, it's all got to be aligned. That's how direct works. There's an alignment. You're owning it. And you're clear in your interest and you're totally okay and free from how

it goes. This is so mesmerizing to women. When you walk up with that clear directness but you also are okay if she doesn't want to date you, that creates my old coach used to say clear intent, freedom from outcome. Clear intent, be free from outcome. It's like your goal is just to go for it at a hundred percent. So that is a quick little overview of going direct. When to be direct? Well, it is context specific. It's generally speaking, a direct more sexual open is going to be better at night. It bars, it lounges, but in bars, lounges, you know, the dance floor, a bar, a club on a Friday or Saturday night. You can walk up to a woman in the middle of a bar and say, hey, I just saw you, you're gorgeous,

what's your name? Boom. That's a great direct open. Or you're sexy, or hey, I just saw you, who are you? I had to meet you Pretty clear what that intent is right? And it's really attractive to lots of women At the same time you you can be direct in the daytime in the daytime. You just don't want to use words like sexy Probably, um, you want to use words like adorable. That Allison story I told you earlier, the girl who was lying in bed with me saying, oh my God, I loved how innocent you were.

The word I used there, my favorite direct open for the daytime, the best word to use is adorable. Oh hey, you're adorable. What's your name? Oh hey, you're adorable. What's your name? Oh hey, you're adorable. What brings you to the coffee shop today? You're adorable is direct, but it's innocent. It's not sexual.

You're not saying something vulgar. But you are putting that clear intent, that clear romantic interest on the line, which is the whole point of being direct. So think direct, gravitate toward directness at night, bars, lounges, a little bit less in the daytime. Although if you are going to do it in the daytime, use the word adorable or just take the word sex out of it. I wouldn't walk up to many women in the

daytime and say, hey, you're sexy. I mean, I have, but it's pretty hit and miss. I remember, I've had good success with You're Gorgeous. And I remember I was at a bookstore once and I was just in the zone. I was feeling confident and really comfortable. Oh, here's another tip about when to be direct. Only be direct, generally you wanna be direct when you start feeling more in the zone. When you feel those good vibes, that's when you want to be direct because then you'll really own it.

And I was in the zone once this one day. I remember I walked up to a beautiful woman in her mid-20s probably. I know she was because we dated but I saw her at the bookstore and she was wearing an nyu t shirt and long brown hair and. Take jeans and just visually physically totally my type and the daytime i'd mainly been using the natural approach method. What was really more authentic to be direct with her how i was feeling so i walked over and I actually tapped her on her shoulder from behind, which is probably not the perfect technique, but I did it anyway. Tapped her on the shoulder, she turned, and I said, hey, I just saw you and you're gorgeous. Had to meet you.

What's up, I'm Connell. Her eyes lit up, her jaw dropped, not literally, but she was just like, I could see that instant attraction. And we just chatted for a couple of minutes And then I got her number and we dated for a while it was just a fling wasn't like love or anything But man, all I did is I walked up and I led with my best direct open. Okay, so direct approaching isn't about lines Although we do want that clear language there. It's about energy and it's about just putting that card on the table saying, hey, this is who I am.

This is why I'm talking to you. Why bullshit about it? Why beat around the bush? And women, a lot of women just really respond to bold men. So if you are willing to take that shot, you might be surprised at how many women love a guy who just steps up and goes for it. Okay? So direct opening is really really powerful and I would say for you going forward after listening to this episode, definitely start with the natural approaching method.

Compliments, questions, observations. Why? why because it's gonna give you such a high batting average for starting interactions you're gonna start getting lots of reps and wins and Conversation then you're gonna let go of that fear of approaching and that fear of rejection Once you get some momentum going there, then I would say start integrating being direct Hey, you're adorable. Hey, you're sexy. Hey, who are you? You're sweet or you're sweet. You're sexy as fuck or whatever you would say.

And that's how I would do it. I would start by primarily doing the natural approaching method, okay? Moving toward the wrap up here, I wanna throw a quick little mindset tip at you. Keep this in mind, and this is especially true when you're being direct, but just approaching in general, not every woman is going to be into you romantically or otherwise. In fact, you just want to pre-accept that most of the women who you approach and talk

to, most of them, you're never going to date them. Most of these women you're never going to be in a relationship with or even have a date with. And so it's so important to keep that in mind and decide, hey, you know what? I may as well enjoy every one. I may as well feel really good about every step I take, every approach I make. Because I'm not going to have dates from most of them. So think of all of them as a win.

Each one builds your confidence. Think of each approach is getting you closer to your next breakthrough. Every approach builds your character, as I said in the last episode and what you'll find is that in time if you truly see approaching as a win-win because either she likes you or you learn something or you've taken a big step toward being that 1% man, that authentic confident authentic 1% man, every approach becomes a win. And so please, again, I want to repeat something I said in the last episode, please don't see approaching as a win-lose. It's a win-win. It's a win-win paradigm, not a win-lose paradigm. Approaching beautiful

women changed my life in so many ways. I would not be a dating coach right now if I had never approached women. I would not be doing this podcast right now. I would not be helping you, I hope helping you right now, if I had never gone out to meet women in real life. And the beautiful thing about being able to meet them is using the the natural approaching framework or being direct this will open up a whole new set of options for you You don't have to be You don't have to be in the stuck in the ghetto of dating apps anymore. You can meet women anywhere and everywhere You can have your essentially your social circle, or the women or people you meet

in what's called a social circle, you can literally have a social circle wherever you go. Meaning you could talk to anybody who's around you. And so approaching women and just, this is the most powerful thing I've ever done in my dating past. The most value and reward came from this area that we're talking about this week and approaching women and chatting them up.

My current girlfriend, my current girlfriend, my girlfriend and my hopefully forever girlfriend, Jess, I met her on a dating app. But the previous three relationships I had over the last 10 or 12 years. That's that's the span all three of them the three loves of my life before I found My true soul mate now the three loves of my life. I had I Met them all from approaching The woman I dedicated my book to The woman of the the teens for me. She was the woman of the decade. I called her I met her At a club in Vegas

I've met I met my girlfriend a previous girlfriend at coffee shops. Oh anyway, I just wanted to Remind you of the reward that's waiting for you if you get out there and start approaching So let's do a little recap here. Here's the old way of what you've been doing. The old way overthinking it. Sitting there trying to craft the perfect opener, the perfect approach, say the perfect thing, create instant attraction, worrying about getting rejected, feeling frozen in your head, not knowing what to say because you're trying to say something perfect and you do nothing. Can she walk away that's the old way we're done with that old way okay starting today you're done with that here's the new way the new way is the natural authentic approaching method.

When stede searching for that perfect line you taking the situation you checking with how you feel about yourself and what you observe, and you say, hey, here's a compliment. Excuse me, miss, you have really cool tattoos. I love the design and the colors you chose. Or maybe you see that gorgeous woman and you say, oh, hey, I see that you're drinking a mocha cappa latte chino. How is it? Are you a hot coffee drinker or do you switch it up with iced?

Or maybe you see that gorgeous woman and you're at a bookstore and you say, hey, pardon me, miss, I see that you're reading an actual book. That is so rare these days. That's really cool. Do you read eBooks and audio books or are you more of an old school paper reader?

See how simple that is? No overthinking, not trying too hard, not memorizing a bunch of scripted stuff that's gonna get you stuck in your head. We just want to give women that moment, here's what I want you to do, I want you to think of it like I want to give women that it just happened moment. Women don't want to feel like a guy came up and approached her and said perfect game. What women want is to feel like an organic, natural, real, authentic conversation just happened. And that's what this method will do for you and I think of this as giving women gifts this is making you a gift giver think about the

gift you're giving her if you and she hit it off she's gonna be texting her girlfriends later saying oh my god I just met the coolest most charming guy we were just at the coffee shop and we started chatting he He said something about what I was writing on my laptop. Before I knew it, I was giving him my number. We're going out tomorrow. It was like from a movie. That's the real life, it just happened moment. Like a movie moment that you can give women, but you're also giving this to yourself too.

And I just love that idea. Because hey, your future girlfriend who is going to be in your life soon, your future girlfriend, for your entire relationship, the two of you are gonna be getting this question from friends and family and people you meet. You're gonna hear this so many times. You're gonna hear, so how'd you two meet?

How'd you guys meet? And now using what you've learned today and what you're learning this week, you and your future girlfriend will be able to say, well, it's so charming, but you know, she'll say, oh, I was, you know, I was ordering a smoothie at the juice place and he just came up to me and he said, mango, you should get mango. That's the one to get. Whatever you would say. That's an actual story from a client. But you'll be able to have an amazing answer to the question. How did you two meet for the rest of your lives? Because hey, you

know, most people meet on dating apps or online these days and I'm totally fine with that. My girlfriend and I met that way. But you'll be able to say, well, I just saw her and I had to go talk to her and I was feeling really bold and courageous and I walked over and we had instant chemistry and she is going to love and you're going to love being able to talk about how you and your future girlfriend met once everybody hears about you and her. Okay, here is your mission for this episode.

I challenge you, I, your dating coach, your podcast dating coach, I hereby challenge you to go out into the real world and use any one of the three natural approach openers and do it in the next twenty four hours. Twenty four hours from now. I want you to have talked to at least one woman using either a compliment, a question or an observation. And if it goes well, if you, or I should say if you feel good, forget how it goes in terms of the result. If you feel good about it, which I think you will, bonus points if you then want to follow up and do a more direct open. Walk up to a woman and tell her she's adorable. Walk up to a

woman and tell her that you saw her and had to meet her. Bonus if you want to be try the direct as well. But start with the compliment question observation option. Try one of these more natural approaches that I've been talking about and it's time to get out of your head. It's time to start meeting some incredible women and get you dates and soon get you a great girlfriend. Okay, next episode. Now that you have both the mindset of approaching the right mindset, the confidence from the

last episode and now that you know how to break the ice how to approach all the different ways now. You're gonna have to know how to keep the conversation going right you need to know what to say after you approach you need to know how to get phone numbers you need to know how to get phone numbers that don't flake how to get dates how to have good fun flirty conversations and never run out of things to say. Well that will be the next episode that's all coming up in part three where I'm gonna show you how to have fun flirty authentic conversations that lead you to getting the digits without getting ghosted and without getting flaked on. So that will be the next episode. Until then don't, your dream girlfriend is out there and she's gonna love you. She just has to meet the real authentic you. So go out there, take action, Carpe Datum sees the

date.