How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - Why You Freeze When You Want to Approach Beautiful Women—& How to Fix it NOW (Live Coaching with John!)

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

John feels stuck and frustrated. He often sees attractive women he wants to talk to at bars and coffee shops, but he always freezes up and says nothing. (Sound familiar?) He’s about to break free of his approach anxiety—and you can, too! In this live coaching session, dating coach Connell Barrett reveals the hidden mental roadblocks that stop men from talking to women. Plus, Connell shares simple, proven fixes that you can use today. Get ready to approach women confidently and authentically (no weird pickup moves needed!)You’re About to Learn:07:55: The 2 “Fear Factors” that Stop You from Approaching Women—and How to Fix Them11:30: 5 Ways to Destroy Approach Anxiety TODAY17:42: What Strangers Really Think of Men Who Approach37:21: The 1 Simple Shift that Makes Her Happy You Talked to Her45:03: How to Stop Making Excuses and Start Taking Action54:36: What NOT to Say When You Approach in the Day (or Else You’ll Seem Creepy!)If you’ve ever felt too scared to say hello to a beautiful woman, this episode will give you the mindset and tools to finally take action. Listen now!WANT PERSONALIZED HELP? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH CONNELL AND START CONFIDENTLY MEETING AND DATING WONDERFUL WOMEN:http://www.DatingTransformation.com

It was a not trying that bothered me. It's like, what kind of a man am I? Are you ready to stop being the boy who doesn't approach and ready to start being the man who steps up? Absolutely. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Connell Beane, and I'm your host, and I'm your host, and I'm your host, and I'm your host, Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Connell Barrett. I'm here to help you flirt with confidence, approach beautiful women, and get a great girlfriend all by being authentic, doing this with integrity and respect for women and no creepy pickup artist moves.

Today I have a actual coaching call that I did with my brand new client John. You are going to relate to John. John is a nice guy, good man, he's a Midwestern fellow, works in the IT software world, and he's a great guy. His whole life is absolutely together. He's smart, he's world and he's a great guy. His whole life is absolutely together. He's smart, he's funny, he's super articulate as you're about to hear. But he's got one area that he's really struggling with, which is dating.

Specifically, he sees beautiful women all the time he would love to talk to, but he never does. He just never talks to women. And the reason for this is not that John is a coward or that he doesn't man up. And if you want to go talk to gorgeous, interesting, intriguing women day or night, but you don't do it, it's not because you're a failure. It's not. It's that you have a couple of internal blocks.

You've got conflict. Either you're afraid that rejection will feel like you're just not good enough, or you're afraid that if you get rejected, if it doesn't go well, you're going to be seen as some sort of social weirdo, creep. You're doing something wrong. Or maybe there's a combination of both of those things. Those are the two main causes of approaching anxiety, what's called approaching anxiety. Fearing that you're going to find out you're just not good enough or fearing that she'll

reject you and you'll just feel like a social weirdo is doing something strange. Neither of those things are true, but boy they really feel true and they feel that way to John and These are strong forces and you're so you're gonna listen to John have a couple of really big breakthroughs I'm gonna tell him exactly how to get confidently freely walking up to women and He's already doing it. He's already in the process of taking action. So I think you're gonna enjoy this coaching episode and Yeah, I've helped so many guys in this area it's pretty powerful these forces that stop us from approaching women I Had a client who was a fireman

Probably still is actually he's a fireman out in the in the West and he came to me because He I'll call him. I'll call him one. Okay one Wanted badly to go talk to women, but he couldn't do it so he could literally walk into a burning building and Put his life on the line. He was once in a burning building and he fell through the kitchen floor into the fire in the basement once in a burning building and he fell through the kitchen floor into the fire in the basement. Thankfully he was fine. He was not hurt but he can willfully walk into a burning building and not think about it but he couldn't turn to the attractive woman standing up at the bar next to him and say hi. That's how

powerful these internal forces are that create conflict, anxiety, fear. But these are very fixable. As you're about to hear from John, have his very first coaching session with me. And by the way, if you are looking or interested in figuring out, hey, what is dating coaching about? Well, how does Connell do his thing? Is dating coaching right for me? In other words, if you would like to stop being too afraid to

go approach women or if you need help with flirting or you just want help getting a great girlfriend, if you'd like to, you can go to my homepage, datingtransformation.com and book a free call with me and you and I will hop on the phone and we'll talk about how you can get a great girlfriend, how you can finally feel confident and comfortable enough to meet women out in the real world and get an incredible woman. So go to datingtransformation.com if you want to talk about this. I do one-on-one personalized coaching and I don't have that many available coaching slots because I do one-on-one coaching So if you're interested go to dating transformation calm and book a free call with me and if you're not all good listen to John and myself right now and

Enjoy this coaching episode with John. All right, John. I'm so glad to be chatting with you today, man Happy Friday. Let's do some training coaching What's on your mind? How can I help you, bro? Yeah, so the problem I've always had I think first of all think for meeting with me, of course No, I've always had this same problem since you know pretty much since I was a teenager really has always been approaching um, you know When I was just a quick, you know backstory, you know, I was that little shy nerdy kid, loved my anime and Power Rangers and stuff and martial arts. I was always, when I was younger, I was very self-conscious about my interests and hobbies.

It always felt like I wasn't the kind of guy who approaches women. I know you talk about a lot of your lower self. I would think of a thousand different reasons why, you know, I wasn't good enough at that moment. Right. And, you know, as, you know, life progresses, I got older, became much more confident in myself. I started, I took up MMA, and I absolutely love it as a sport. And it, my confidence just bloomed as I got older. And, and I don't consider myself like that anymore I really you know believe you know I'm the shit for like a bear turd but it is the one thing that never really went away is that is that fear of

approaching almost feels like it's like a muscle that I never really exercised you know as I got older especially you know in my college years there were a couple approaches It kind of just felt like that's what we were supposed to do for a lack of a bad term. I my dorm was kind of Wild, you know, so we had we had you know, a lot of stupid games between the guys and the girls So there are a couple approaches here and there in college, but for the most part, you know I really gravitated towards online dating as I got older, just because Tinder and Hinge and all that,

it took away the hard part for me. You know, it took away the having to know if she's interested, to put myself out there. Once we, you know, bing, once we match, I know already that, okay, there's at least some general interest. Right. And that made things easier.

And so, but really all it did was make it a crutch. And so, now that I'm older now, I'm in my 30s. The relationship I thought would be my, the final one, my bride to be, unfortunately didn't go that well. So, I'm back in the dating pool and I'm, I, I don't really want to do the whole app thing anymore for various reasons and but as I mentioned feels like that approaching muscle is just not there and I still almost feel like I'm 14 again, I'm trying to go up to a girl. Oh my gosh. I know that feeling all too. Well, I

What was the last time you approached a beautiful woman? It would have been last year. I mean, it's beginning of the year. So this would have been, you know, maybe once it last summer, uh, at a bar with my buddy and I was embarrassing. So my buddies egging me on to say something to her and I just I'm freezing like in all this. So I remember I actually went up to her and she were both waiting in line to get a drink. I said hey what's that drink you have? And it was I don't know White Claw or something like that. I'm like okay and so I was in front in front of her I'm like white claw for me and her and And so oh, thanks and you're welcome. And then I just Sprint away Okay, and that was the closest thing

All right, I know that all too well that feeling of okay, let me get out of here while I still can while I'm safe and Alright, so the last time you approached a woman was last year In the last 30 days, how many Wow girls? Have you seen and would have loved to have talked to how many did you see? You know quite a few ballpark number? Let's say let's say like 40 40. Okay, so you're over 40 in the last month Yeah, all right, that'll actually get you in the starting lineup for the Chicago White Sox Over 40 that's actually really good for them But we want to do better with you in your this game of approaching. So let's break down why you don't do it

and Most guys don't do it. And most guys don't do it because they're afraid of one or both of two things. They're either afraid that if they get rejected, she doesn't like it, that will make them feel like, ah, see, women just don't like me. I'm not good enough. Or there's also social judgment

that men are often worried about. Oh man, if I get shot down and those people who are within earshot here at the coffee shop see me get shot down, I'll be that weird guy, it and on girls at Starbucks. And, uh, and that can feel like social judgment bordering on humiliation. Which of those two resonate with you or both? Definitely the social judgment aspect of it. Yeah. The rejection, I've had a rejection before. That's not as much of a big deal. It's just that polarizing idea of like, I'm going to say it and the barista is going to and you'll think I'm the the new weirdo and banned me from this from Starbucks Or something like that or yeah. Yeah

Yeah, the new weirdos. That was my rock band and college We were awesome ska band the new weirdos Do you did you I forget did you read the the part of my book where I talk about me being in Starbucks Wanting to approach that yes, you're not remember that story. Yes. Yes, I did. So So yeah quick quick flashback and now I'll we'll get back to you So I'm in Starbucks on a Sunday afternoon 16 years ago, and I see that gorgeous brunette sitting by herself She looked like Katie Holmes who was my crush at the time and gorgeous brunette sitting by herself. She looked like Katie Holmes who was my crush at the time. And I wanted to talk to her so much. I walked over to her table. I tried to get myself psyched up.

And I circled a couple times like a scared shark. And then I went back and sat down. Because I remember specifically thinking, oh, those people are sitting next to her. What if they hear me get shot down? What if I say something wrong? What if I get those weird looks? And so I tried a couple times, and then she got up and left and walked out into the world. I never saw her again.

And I remember thinking, man, there's another girl I will never see and date. It's another loss for Connell. And I said, I'm done with that. That was the moment I said I am fucking done letting women like that get out of my life with even Trump without even trying. It was a not trying to bother me. It's like what kind of a man am I?

Are you ready to stop being? The the the boy who doesn't approach and ready to start being the man who steps up? Absolutely. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. So my fear, here's what was happening inside of me and here's what's happening inside of you.

Your mind looks at a woman you want to talk to and it's thinking of all the reasons not to and that can go wrong It's um, think of it as like think of two spheres. We have a part of our mind that can be promotion oriented Promoting the positive wins the rewards that await you from taking a certain action and there's prevention Prevention. Oh, I'm this is preventing me because what if she gets creeped out. What if she doesn't like me? That's what your mind goes to prevention, right? Yes, what are some thoughts that might promote action? What are some potential upsides to you? Breaking the ice with that attractive woman at the coffee shop

Give me five Vistar is having a great conversation, you know Getting to meet somebody new even if it doesn't work out, you know, yeah Potential relationship. Yep sex. Yep Maybe sex at Starbucks, you know, yeah sexy. Yeah. Yeah, come on Trying to give a coffee sex joke That talk about us extra spicy latte anyway No, but yeah moving toward moving toward intimacy. Why not? That's why you're going up to her

Not why but that's part of what you're looking for as a man. Nothing wrong with that, right? Yeah Two more give me two more things that make you think if I walk over and talk to this woman I can feel good about two more things just knowing that I took that action that The you know that lower self that self-conscious puppy boy, right? Yes Yes, you named your lower self that small identity puppy boy Which is a smart thing to do because you want to think I don't want to go through life Being puppy boy just like I was Connie

Mm-hmm, and then another one is You know so I've been just feeling that you know that good action just Having a story to tell you know just having to be a bit like not even necessary bragging just being like you know Oh, yeah, I met this you know great girl today. Yeah Fantastic. Here's a question for you. Oh great. That's all great promotion mindset pieces we want to link a lot of link a lot of reward positivity Good good mojo to taking the action so we can start to rewire your mind to say hey, wait a minute good mojo to taking the action so we can start to rewire your mind to say hey wait a minute why don't I say things that make me feel good about approaching instead of say all these

things that make me afraid to do it. That's what we're beginning to do right here. So those are great five great reasons to walk up and talk to that woman. Here's three or four more that resonated with me. Every time I walk up to a woman and take some kind of chance, I feel like I'm building my character. I'm doing something that most men don't do. By the way, most men can't or most men don't approach a woman because of fear, because of what they perceive as social judgment.

They need liquid courage to maybe do it at the bar. Or they need some weird pickup line. What if this was your mindset about talking to an attractive woman at Starbucks? Every time I walk up to an attractive woman, I am living my character as a man as a 1% man. 1% of men at most can walk up to a woman be authentic be genuine and Take some kind of swing at romance. Is that something that you could feel good about no matter what her response was No, absolutely. Yes. Yeah, we start linking approaching to your very identity a man of action a man who takes risks a

Man who says fuck these apps. I want to meet people in the real world like we've been doing for a hundred thousand years And that starts to make you feel like who walking over to her that starts to feel better because you're now focused on what it brings you and rewards you instead of Overly focusing on the thing you're trying to avoid Make sense so far. Yes. Yeah, this is just the mindset piece and then in a second We'll talk about the how-to the what to say, because that's important too. But first, we just want to get our head on straight and say, all right, let's link so

much pleasure to approaching, possibly intimacy, a phone number, growing as a man, linking yourself to that 1% identity of your higher self. How about this? Is it possible you might make her day, make her smile? Yeah. Yeah. You might compliment her and make her feel attractive and special and sexy? Yes.

Yeah. So if you're going to let... When you hear those horror stories play in your head of, oh, here are all the bad things that can go wrong, you have the ability to take all those records off, kinda scratch the record, put on a new record, showing how old I am, I talk about records. People are like, what the hell's a record? What the hell's a record, old man?

But you can take off the bad, scary sounding record and put on a better sounding record, a song that you like. Say, wait a minute, you can take off the bad, scary sounding record and put on a better sounding record, a song that you like. Say, wait a minute. Every time I approach a woman, I'm growing as a man. I'm moving toward love. I'm trying to make her day better. I'm just being a social person, people socialize. And I'm seeking to make her smile. So I think it's all about contribution, giving to her and growing as a man Does that feel better than oh no, am I a weirdo? Yes, it does. Yeah, of course Now let's look at the other side that's been holding you back these thoughts that have been holding you back

How many times have you approached a woman and somebody called you a weirdo? none How many times have you talked to a woman in public and then they come on a loudspeaker? Attention whole food shoppers. There's a man approaching women in the frozen food section. Please call security How many times you have you been ejected from a public place for doing this zero? How many times have you done this and you actually caught somebody looking at you and like Judging you and feeling like oh man You're doing something wrong Not at all people usually in their own world. Yeah, so the the thoughts that are holding you back are completely

Hypothetical between the ears, right? Yeah, would your theory about what might happen when you approach a woman would have passed the scientific method No Yeah, let's go do a science experiment a social science experiment, let's go talk to some cute girls And let's also do it in a way that Minimizes the likelihood that you'll get weird looks or people won't like it I Mean to have a quick story for you. Okay about social judgment

I'm in Union Square here in New York City where I live. This is man. This is 13 14 years ago. This is when I was in on my approaching journey working with coaches before I became one I'm in Union Square in New York City. I see this really curvy, sexy blonde walking my way in the park on a weekend afternoon and I'm like, okay, I'm going to do it. And I walk up next to her. She got short shorts on. She looks adorable. She looks really cute.

I talked for 10, 15 seconds. She wants nothing to do with me. I'm just, I mean, she's not mean. She's just like, no thanks. I'm not really interested, basically what she said. And she kept walking. And I said, no problem. Have a nice day. I admit it stung for a few seconds. I'm not going to say it didn't. Seconds later, a young, well-dressed young man comes up to me, mid-20s, glasses, look kind of like Urkel from that TV show.

Yeah. His name is Phil, hey Phil, you out there? Phil, I turn to find out his name is, he comes up to me and says, oh my God, dude, that was amazing what you just did. You just walked right up to her, that was so cool. And I said, oh, thanks. I mean, but you saw what happened.

I got blown out, I got rejected. He's like, yeah, but oh man, that was so ballsy. That was so cool. I saw her coming a mile away. I couldn't talk to her. He was impressed. So is it possible, even if the worst happens, you approach a woman and she says,

thanks, but no thanks, I don't wanna talk to you. Is it possible that not only people might not even know, care or notice, is it possible it might be impressive to somebody? Also, yes. Yeah. So we just want to chop away. We want to chip away at those thoughts that stop us from doing it and say, you know what? I'm a man. I walk up to women and take a chance at romance or at least at social socializing and you know what? No one's probably gonna care either way and if they do heck if anything they might be impressed that I'm doing it

And that happened to me other times too that story with Phil was just memorable because he became a friend of mine We would go out and talk to women together But yeah, you might get shot down most people aren't even gonna notice and if they do they might actually be impressed Even if you get shot down. That's what I've learned Okay Anyway, okay before I go on I don't want to talk at you. I want to answer your questions Before we get to the how-to aspect of this is this all making sense any questions for me about the approaching? Mindset that we want to start adopting

Not yet. Not, not so much. I definitely really like the idea of that good self-talk, focusing much more on the good things as opposed to the bad things. Because obviously, that's how our anxieties work. So I definitely like that idea of, no, I'm not going to focus on all these hypotheticals that have never happened and probably won't, and really focus on this good this good outcome because even if I shouldn't say fail but even if I get

rejected it's still I feel good about having done that yeah yeah absolutely and to go even further down that rabbit hole fine even if you get rejected is that the end of the world, but is it even rejection? No, she doesn't know who I am. So right She is it even rejection right? How can she reject you? You know if my girlfriend just came to me and said Connell I'm not in love with you anymore You're hung like a baby carrot

You're hung like a baby carrot. You make weird noises when you eat. I'm done with you. That's rejection. I might be down at the bar for the first time in two years. That's something to feel rejected about. A random woman you say hi to in a bar or a coffee shop, it's not rejection. She doesn't know you. She might be rejecting a conversation with you at that moment, but that's more indicative

of her emotional state and her mindset at that moment. I was out with a client once, and we were at this bar. I'm trying to remember, this is like, I remember this is right before the pandemic because I remember everything from those weeks leading up to it. But my client James and I are at a bar, and I approach a woman with him, and she gives me a pretty fast rejection. Stiff arms, me, not literally, but she's like, no thanks, walks away. Like, okay, at least I tried, no big deal.

About an hour later, James and I are, James is talking to a girl, and it's going really well on the dance floor. I'm next to James doing kind of like my wingman thing This is me out with my client here in New York City and the girl who had rejected me cute brunette one hour earlier she she comes up and like dances up to me and Like offers me a drink of her drink and I take a sip and all of a sudden she starts dirty dancing with me And we're making out like two minutes later

The same girl who I approached an hour earlier. Did she reject me? No. She was saying that right now. Give me an hour and I'll be in a better mood. I'll come make out with you. That's my mindset around approaching. It's not even rejection. It's just a reflection of how she feels in that moment Makes sense so far. Yes, it does. Okay, so that's the mindset the mindset is every approach is a win Because I either grow as a man or either get a result. I might get a phone number. I might get a date That'll change your life That's incredible Or even if you don't get that you get to put another brick in the wall of that

Character as a man another brick in that Cathedral of your character So that's the mindset and man that alone can change everything for how you feel about it And then in terms of the how-to let me ask you um what? What what what questions do you have about how to break the ice with women? How can I how can I serve you how can I help you? Do you have about how to break the ice with women? Well, how can I how can I serve you? How can I help you? No, so I am leading up to our conversation. I Listen to your Valentine's Day

Episodes which I absolutely loved great and I loved a lot of you know information about your the actual method of to the madness really of going up of observation comment question and then you know pivoting to your name and then another topic. I love that. I guess the one thing that is really in my mind right now, especially with I want to go out and start doing this stuff tonight, the thing for me is I think it feels easier to talk to another person who's out by themselves. But the big thing is always for me is when I see maybe there's a group of women, I say there's four or five, and there's only one that I'm interested in. And obviously, you know, I don't wanna just isolate her

just for herself, but at the same time, I don't wanna maybe have to talk to all of them forever just to get to one girl's number. So do you have any like tips or plans or tricks or? How to you know approach a situation when there may be is only one girl you find attractive in a group of like four or five Okay, good. I would say four or five for a group of that size. Let's say five max you open them as a group They're a four-headed girl. Mm-hmm. I Dated a four-headed headed girl once from the circus. You treat her like a four headed girl and to open the group because that gets all of

their attention, gets them all reacting to your assertion of positive masculine authentic good mojo and gets them responding to you which is attractive and Gets a great a nice dynamic where you're giving they're receiving You open up open up as a group and that gets all their attention and you essentially are giving them all some good social Attention which makes them feel good as Opposed to walking up to the girl who you think is hot and you're like, hey, what's up? You're hot and the the female the her friends are all watching what's going on and that's they're gonna pull her away pretty quickly from that kind of approach Mostly so you want to open them as a group for the first 30 seconds. Hey ladies

You guys are looking super stylish tonight. Damn, is there a fashion show going on here? Or whatever you would say. You might feel a little bit on stage. You gotta bring a little bit more energy because it is a group. So you gotta talk loudly enough or you're magnetizing them with some of that oomph, but you certainly have that charisma to do that.

And then you talk to the group for maybe 60 seconds or so. So don't worry, not for an hour, a minute or two. And then once they feel like, oh yeah, cool guy, confident. And then you gravitate toward that woman who you're more attracted to and see what the vibe is like with her. So basically, you talk to the foreheaded girl before you talk to the girl who you are at least attracted to

and see what your vibe is. OK, I like that. that like that idea a lot And you'd still like Same mentality same idea if it was a smaller group like is just two of them or just three of them Well, yeah, I guess I would define group is three Three or four or more if it's if it's two or three, that's a little bit easier. Still more complex than one, but if you, let's say it's two, two girls. Have you ever had the situation where

you see the girl you are very attracted to and her friend who you're not quite as into? Absolutely. Let's talk about that. I had a situation where I wanted to talk to this girl and we even made eye contact a couple times and Actually was the same night from earlier way where I just get bought the girl a drink and wash away but we made I got that a couple times and she was dancing with her friends and they had made like a blockade in front of her and it just it just felt like I I don't want to just I

Don't know how to like really approach the situation. I only want to talk to you. Yeah, and yeah, they're all dancing together so well you do want to talk to both of them well, I'll leave dance floor stuff aside because that's a High energy situation different situation, but let's say it's just two women standing at the bar the hottie and the naughty. Okay. Fair enough. We'll call it your 10 and your five. For the record, I'm not a big numbers person, but just for simplicity, we know what that

means. And so you got the 10 and the five. You're like, oh, what do I do? The right strategy is you approach them both like they're sevens. Which is, walk up, social with both of them, and you give them both that social good mojo. And for the first minute or two, just basically be social and talk to them as two people, which they are, of course.

But then what you want to do is make a little shift. Basically, you want to hit the social hook point first. In other words, what you don't do is walk up to the 10 and say, hey, you're gorgeous and ignore the five. That's basically asking the five to cock block you and pull the friend away. Here's a quick sidebar by the way. We have this term cock block. Why don't women have that term? for them not getting to have sex I Think that we need a term like Vijay nay What else Something taco blocko

Just my my my female photographer friend who does my photos she and I talked about this So I do have woman's approval. Anyway, we'll come back to that so the JNA clip clip oh my god Jenny Jenny totally click clipped me last night oh this guy was so great into me and she totally click clipped me anyway so you don't want to get cock blocked or click clipped when you're talking to the ten and a five. So here's the right move. Walk up to both, be social, be fun, playful. That's attractive to everyone, one to ten, okay? That's two minutes. You want to hit what's called the social hook point. The social hook point. Don't worry about attraction for the first two minutes. Don't worry about even man-to-woman

moves. Think I just want to be good social company. Be present, fun, positive. That's enough to get in really good with lots of women. It's called hitting the social hook point. That just means socially they want you there more than they did when you started. Or they're now having more fun than they were before they met you, that is gold. Because women just wanna follow the fun, good emotions. Make sense? Yes.

Yeah, so we go for two minutes, just fun, loose, light, get that social hook point, and then, but you're a man with a plan. You're thinking, all right, but there's this 10 here and her five friend. Now what do I do? Well, it helps if you have a five male friend with you to be your wingman. But if you don't have that, if it's just you, here's a great way to think about it. Talk to the five like a friend. Talk to the 10 with a little bit of what I call that mando woman mojo bit challenging maybe a little teasing

Ask the friend more logical kind of friend zone the friend basically you keep talking to both don't get me wrong You keep giving them both that social value, but for the five you might be like oh cool Tell me more about where you work. Oh, that's great. How long have you been there bit more logical interested but not? necessarily flirting with her and then the 10 You're maybe might tease her a little bit or you might Say a little you know what I call what's called a push-pull you might say to the the 10 You're like she says something you're like, she says something,

you're like, you're either the weirdest girl I've met tonight or the coolest. I'm just not sure which. What do you think, five? I mean, don't call her five. But that'd be hilarious. What do you think, five? Don't do that.

But basically, you wanna walk and chew gum here at the same time. Talk to the five in a more friendly way, the ten in a more teasing way, a little bit more that what I call man to woman, which is good emotions, playfulness. And then you can do this. I got this move from one of my old coaches. I really liked this. He taught me this.

He said, tell the five, say to the five, let's say the five is Stephanie and the ten is Amanda, right? Big Stephanie. I have a question here. Your friend Amanda here, I'm kind of digging her, but I'm not sure if I should ask her out. What do you think? Should I ask her out or should I get out of here? Is she gonna stalk me? What do you think? So you can flirt with the ten through the five You turn the five into your wing woman if she likes you socially and she'll appreciate that you're not ignoring her You're not just talking to the hot friend. You're interested in the hot friend Which she gets but you're involving her and she could become your champion and she could be like, oh, yeah you should definitely ask her and she could become your champion and she could be like, oh, yeah, you should definitely ask her out

She's awesome. And You're also showing Amanda the ten how confident you are to be saying this right in front of her and The social dynamics here of the all the great signals you're sending this can create so much attraction in the woman you're into Make sense. Yes Yeah, I did this in Vegas one night create so much attraction in the woman you're into. Make sense? Yes. Yeah. I did this in Vegas one night. I was in Vegas years ago and it was like a big group of girls

and I really liked this woman named Sarah and I was attracted to her. Sarah was flirting with me. I could tell at one point, here's a good signal, at one point Sarah said, hey, I'm gonna put some lip gloss on, tell me if I'm putting it on right, and she like puckers up, like right in front of me.

Like even I could get that signal. And so I'm really hitting it off with Sarah, and her friend, Amy, I'll call her Amy, I forget her name, her friend was not romantically interested in me or vice versa, she was just a great person. She was like, oh my God, Sarah likes you. You're great for her. You're way better than this lame guy

she's been seeing back home. You should really, I'm gonna help you. She was like, I'm gonna be your wing woman tonight. So you befriend the friend, she can actually even help you with her girlfriend if she likes you. So that's why we give those good social cues to the whole group group because you never know

who in that group might help you hit it off with the woman you're into. Awesome. I love that. Thank you. All right. The bottom line is, sorry, let me put one last bow on this. You didn't ask this, but a lot of men do. They're like, well, I don't want to be too overt.

I don't want to take that chance. Actually, the first rule of what I call man to woman communication is putting a card on the table, clarity. Let that woman know if you're into her, let her know you're into her. It's scary, but it's powerful. So that's why not only do I don't want you to not hide which one you like You can say to the the Stephanie the five your friend here is really cool

I'm really kind of digging her with the friend standing right there women are so turned on by a guy who has that kind of Honesty and like raw truth. He's willing to stand in just why I'm such a big fan of like the whole authenticity thing It really does work for that reason so clarity first Fancy moves second got it next question one thing that I would say is like if I if I had like I don't know like a Approaching bucket list. I know we hate the a word but just you're going out to girls talking girls bucket list. I Would would like to at

least try a couple direct approaches I know I already you know talk about how approaches always have been some that I've struggled with I've had a couple of my college years girls I approached directly but liquid courage was definitely a big factor of it so without, I would love to do some direct approaches here and there. I guess my question would be is when would you say is a, when would you recommend doing a direct opener? I'm assuming you probably don't necessarily recommend them in like a Whole Foods, but when would you say is like a good indicator that this is maybe a good situation to go more direct?

You can do a direct open anywhere, but you want to calibrate it for the environment. Okay. And by the way, a definition of a direct opener is you're putting that clear romantic intent out there from the very first words. That's what a direct opener is. She knows exactly what this is about because your words are telling her. So something like, I just saw you,

you're beautiful, I had to meet you. That's basically a direct opener for anyone who doesn't know what that is. And you can be direct at any time, anywhere. You do wanna calibrate it to the context of the situation. So if you're at a bar on Saturday night, on the dance floor of the bar, it's a wild fun night, people are drinking, it's party night, you have social permission.

I mean, you have permission to do anything you want within reason, but the vibe of the night is much looser than it was six hours earlier. And you could walk up to a woman there and say, hey, I just saw you. You are super sexy. You're gorgeous. I want to meet you. Hi, what's up? I'm John.

It can be like a smoldering direct approach or high energy if you're on the dance floor. I wouldn't do that at Starbucks at two o'clock on a lazy Sunday, PM. At a Starbucks, I might, if I'm gonna be directed at Starbucks, I might say, hey, excuse me, I never do this, but I just had to say, you're adorable. And I just wanted to say, hi, what's up, I'm John. So it's more innocent, more G-rated. Kind of almost like a Hugh Grant movie approach.

It's like, oh gosh, I can't believe I'm doing this, but gosh, you're cute. That's like, that's the stuff of rom-com movies for so many women So I wouldn't say yeah, I wouldn't it's not so much don't do it here and there it's more like how like the the level of sexual suggestiveness versus like innocence Think innocent g-rated aw shucks in the daytime Bar at night you can want if you're feeling those vibes you can be way more bold think innocent G rated aw shucks in the daytime.

Bar at night, you can, if you're feeling those vibes you can be way more bold and more like intentful. Do you know the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona by any chance? I've heard the name but never seen it. It's a, I'll play it actually, I'll play this clip after I set it up and there's an amazing scene in there in that movie where Javier Bardem walks up to Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall, the actresses, and he just

walks up with this awesome Spanish man, Latin lover intent and he doesn't use words but To come where? To Oviedo. For the weekend. We live in one hour. What? Where is Oviedo? A very short flight. By plane? What's in Oviedo? I go to see a sculpture that is very inspiring to me. Very beautiful sculpture. You'll love it.

Oh, right. You're asking us to fly to Oviedo and back? No, we'll spend the weekend. I mean, I'll show you around the city and... You're asking us to fly to Oviedo and back? No, we'll spend the weekend. I mean, I'll show you around the city and we'll eat well, we'll drink good wine, we'll make love. Yeah, who exactly is going to make love? Hopefully the three of us. Correct. And he just totally owns it. And you could certainly approach a woman that way where you just walk up and say,

hey, what's up, wanted to meet you. I'm John. If that's how you're feeling congruently in that moment. So, yeah, think at night you can be more sexual or at least more sexually suggestive if you're feeling that way. In the daytime you wanna avoid that kind of thing Jet generally that'll be too much too soon for a lot of women make sense. Yes

Here's my favorite word if you want to approach in the daytime intently directly. Here's the magic word adorable Excuse me miss. I just saw you you're adorable had to say hi Sexy you look hot that's gonna get a lot of defenses up from women. Understandably so, because women get catcalled all the time or they get poorly approached. Something powerful about the word adorable. I dated an incredible woman named Alex many years ago and I approached her she was walking out of a forever 21 with her friend and I saw her with her friend and I was feeling really bold that day and I just walked up and I said hey I just saw you you're adorable wanted to meet you. Hey, what's up? I'm Connell face lit up. Her friend was like Intuit like as a as a observer. wasn't like upset it was like ooh what's happening here and Alex later told me you know what I loved about how you

approached me you were so it was so innocent it was really sweet and innocent I just loved it you just said I was adorable now Alex said this to me as we're lying in bed and we had just had sex on every piece of furniture in my apartment. But she still was thinking about how sweet and innocent the approach was. So you could have a beautiful, sweet little G-rated approach in the daytime. Women love it. And things can get X-rated and R-rated later.

I just remember how funny it was when she when she said that. So did I answer your question then? Yes. Yes. Okay. So so like my personal life, like I am the king of overthinking things that is like, you know, my is my biggest, I would say red flag, my biggest critique for myself is I'm a big over thinker. When I'm about to compete, I have an entire pre-fight ritual that I do, which just kind of gets me in that zone. MMA, right? Yes. Nice.

So, you know, I have my specific motivational podcast I listen to, you know, mean faces in the mirror, stuff like that. Sounds corny to say it out loud, but it gets me in that I gotta go hurt somebody's own. Is there obviously not hurting people, but and again, I may be overthinking this. Do you have like a to kind of get you out of that in your head mentality and getting into becoming like a man of action? Do you have like some sort of almost pre approach ritual kind of thing? When you know that you're going to be going out like, Hey, we're going out tonight and talk to some girls.

Do you have your own little pre-approach, or just pre-going out things you do, say, kind of hype yourself up with to kind of get you in that kind of mentality? I do. I'll take you through that process in a second. Before I do, I'm curious, what is your definition of in my head? What does that mean to you? So in my head for me is I'm focusing so much on not messing something up and also fighting with the part of me that just wants to say, let's just go home. Let's just go home. Let's not do this. No, no, no, no, let's not do this. That I know

that they say anxiety was made to keep us safe. So I'm fighting with that anxious part of me that is thinking of every excuse not to do whatever I have to do or wants to compromise by making sure everything is movie level perfect. And while I'm trying to come up with this impossibly perfect scenario in my head, she just walked away. Okay. Great. By the way, thank you for the honesty and you're so articulate how you describe your thoughts. You make my job as a coach so much easier because you're so self-aware and

articulate. So thank you. There's a reason why where this is on a podcast. You're so freaking articulate and okay, so I Won't lose thought I'm gonna answer your question about my process But I want to see if I can serve you and help you with the in your head thing so give me a give me a Approaching little play-by-play for the in your head moment of the thoughts the the the Perfection or the things you're trying to not screw up and take me take me through a little lump So I can give you a example recently Okay, I my gym is connected to a rec center that rec center has a very big very popular

indoor beach volleyball No group or just culture they do into a beach volleyball all year round hundreds of people Very attractive girl. Oh, I've seen a couple times, is there, I just got done with my workout, I see she's wrapping up her workout, and she's talking to friends here and there, grabbing something to drink, getting her stuff,

and I'm just trying to think in my, okay, I wanna say something to her. What should I say? Okay, no, no, no no can't say right now she's talking to a friend oh I can't say right oh she might go back to playing volleyball let me I mean hold up a little bit oh no she's leaving okay now she's going to the bathroom like and really I feel like I'm stalking her at this point um so it's just it's just me trying to think of like uh find that quote perfect moment my head. And every situation almost

has to go through a filter of like, is this perfect? And that's just my brain's way of trying to find something that's so no, it's too sunny right now. Something like that to an excuse, I guess I should say. And so, yeah, she just walked, all right, see you guys, and just walked away. And I guess I'll say something to her, I'll see her again. Got it, okay. I know what's going on. It's so common, I did it the same way.

Once upon a time, back when I was learning all this stuff and just beginning the process of approaching women, oh my gosh, the scary new thing, I could approach any woman in the world as long as she looked at me and she smiled and nobody else was talking to her and she was wearing a sign that said horny for gingers. If all of those boxes were checked I could go right up to her That's perfectionism so it's almost like if you had to say you had a Fear the head coach of a basketball team of your dating life it's like your your starting center John is

perfectionism and that is A bad player to have on your team because everything's got to be perfect for you to take an action. Instead of perfectionism, we want to put perfectionism on the bench. Actually, we want to cut perfectionism from the team and have a different starting lineup. We want courage. The courage to say, I'm not sure this is the perfect moment, I'm not sure how this is gonna go, but I'm deciding to go say five words to her and let the chips fall

or another player on the team is uncertainty Possibility doing something that may or may not Go perfectly, but who knows that can be kind of exciting to see what might happen. Uncertainty can be exciting. The uncertainty of what a bottle of champagne might taste like. The uncertainty of a new movie. Is it going to suck? Is it going to be awesome? That can be exciting. So we want to basically put perfectionism on the bench and adopt what I call these super values. The values we we wanna have in place in our dating life

that promote action, that promote taking risks, that promote authentic expression, promote, promote, promote, action, action, action. So I'd say, yeah, we just wanna put perfectionism on the bench and say, all right, let's do, well, you tell me, which of those sound good to you? Uncertainty, risk taking, courage, which of those do you feel

like, oh yeah, that's the guy I need to give the ball to. There you go. Cool. Give me if you would three new commitments you're willing to make that basically actions slash behaviors that if you were to do these behaviors, you would be embodying courage in dating. For example, the way I write these out with my clients, literally I have them write them out in pen and paper so they can kind of upload, so to speak, a new mindset, new operating system. Anytime I see a beautiful woman and I want to talk to her and I don't know what to do, but I do it anyway and I say hello. I will be embodying courage or I will be living from a place of courage.

Anytime I see a woman talking to somebody else and I come over and I break the ice in the most polite way possible as opposed to tiptoeing around her, I will be embodying courage. We just want to come up with little ways we can use courage using that sort of structure anytime I insert courageous action here I will be embodying courage what are one or two that you could think of for you I would say you know anytime I just strike up a conversation with a you know know, woman I feel attracted to and just not give a fuck. I can say fuck, right? Yes. Okay. Just required, actually.

All right. I just not give a fuck about my own anxieties or what I think other people might be thinking about the situation. I'm embodying courage. Nice. Beautiful. Need one or two more if you would anytime I Ask for a number after you know going through the you know natural approaching method and

Conversation of embodying courage. Hell. Yeah, I love it because once you break through approach anxiety Which you're gonna do very soon very quickly once you start taking action, then the next wall is gonna be oh my god I'm talking her it's going my god. I'm talking her. It's going well Now I gotta ask her out So great. That's awesome. I love that. Yeah, anytime I go for that number. Can you give me one more? That's that would be you embodying courage something that's in your control anytime I I would say Go direct specifically, you know

Maybe direct at a more nighttime or bar or something like that because I like a nice pub anytime I go direct specifically, you know, maybe direct at a more nighttime or bar or something like that. Cause I like a nice pub. Anytime I go direct, uh, direct opener, I'm embodying courage. Absolutely. Now what you're doing is you're linking a lot of positive, empowering emotions to process based actions that move you toward dating results and that get you approaching women and you're putting a new player on the team because perfectionism, perfectionism is your starting center and he never shoots the ball. Perfectionism's rules are anytime 17 different factors are all aligned then I'll go talk to her but of course

how often does that happen? Never. Right? So we need to get rid of perfectionism and yeah, a courage, uncertainty. There are other ways to get yourself to take action that can feel good. For me, the big thing was fun and playfulness. I was afraid to approach a woman because she might reject me. But once I started reframing it as

What can I say to her that I would find fun and playful? How can I crack a joke that would make me smile and laugh that she may or may not like but man I'm gonna like it that was that made it easier for me to go talk to women because I was focused on what I was going to enjoy about it. So yeah, that's those that's a great way to think about it is is Give yourself lots of ways to leverage courage or other super values as I talk about in my book so that you're just taking action. All these are just different ways to get you taking the right action so that we can show women how fucking awesome you are, women you approach anyway, because they're mostly not meeting you and we want to fix that right

puppy boy I'm gonna get rid of puppy boy the puppy boy the perfectionist yes definitely get rid of that guy yeah one more important point and I'd love for you to find this out tonight if you're going out tonight is here's the power of courage is that right now you John and you listening you can talk to any woman anytime you want no one can stop you you have the agency you have the power using courage you can't do it fearlessly yet. You can't do it maybe even comfortably yet. You might be scared to death but no one can stop you. A lot of men make the understandable mistake, I made it for 38 years. They make the mistake of thinking well I can't approach a woman until I'm confident. No, you can't get confident

until you get courageous. So use courage first. Walk up to that woman and say, hey, excuse me, I'm really nervous. I never do this, but you're so cute. I don't care if your voice cracks. I don't care if you throw up in your mouth. That's a 100 out of 10 in my book. And you do it again and again and again.

And all of a sudden you're like, hey, wait a minute, I'm feeling way more confident. Because courage is that currency that buys you confidence So I can't possibly overstate the importance of good old-fashioned courage and that's courage is just the decision to take an action in The face of discomfort, but you do it anyway, because that's what men do So tonight go Invest in confidence by making some courage deposits It'll pay off maybe very quickly. I mean you could you could use courage to walk up to a gorgeous woman. It goes great 30 seconds later your

Ten out of ten confidence confidence can come automatically but first you got to use courage at you All right, I guess like the only other question which we've kind of already hit a little bit on it right now. I know, like I think I love what you said. You can talk to anyone with any time with confidence. Oh, with courage. Excuse me. Yeah. I guess since I know that that lower self is definitely still going to pop up here and there, I I guess and this is by no means any kind of like

Give myself an excuse or a way out or anything like that Would you say there's like any a good idea of like when okay? Maybe right now isn't a good idea like I know like obviously oh, she's got a car accident Maybe don't say something to her right now. She's so knows things out, but she's trying to fly the plane Maybe let her land that 747. Exactly. Is there any indicator of light? So that way you can, I guess I can tell myself,

all right, no, that's logic. Don't do it now versus, no, that's just your lower self. I'm glad you said that. Yeah, I didn't mean to say, always walk up to every woman every moment using courage, blind to what's going on. Absolutely. You want to read the room, read the situation. I guess common sense is the answer.

I was at a shoe store once. No, I was at Macy's actually and I saw a gorgeous woman I wanted to talk to, but she was in the middle of having her shoe size checked on and then she went up to the register and was paying Am I gonna walk right up to her in the middle of her paying for her shoes and interrupt that that would lower my status in Her eyes because it'd be doing I'd be doing something that really is kind of socially miscalibrated However, so, you know I waited this might and this you know what if this sounds creepy, I guess I'm creepy But I waited a few minutes. I was like, all right, I waited this might and this you know what if this sounds creepy, I guess I'm creepy But I waited a few minutes. I like I'll give her a few minutes

I'll just do a little window shopping and then as she was done with her purchase I Walked alongside her and and and said something and I don't I don't remember how it went It's been so many years ago, but I waited until it was a reasonably good moment. So we just want to kind of figure out Okay, am I avoiding this because I'm just afraid? Or is there really a good reason why I shouldn't talk to her yet and wait for a reasonable window to open? Are there any, can you give me any examples of the kinds of window, of whether this is a window

I should let open or I should just barge in? What are you, any specific examples? Think about that same girl, I promise I'm promising obsessed with her. Rec center girl. Uh yes like so I know she's uh I know she's one of the volleyball player athletes there and so I know it's like uh they go in and out take breaks jump back in there and so there have been times I'm like okay is she done now and then oh no she's she's just taking a break they're jumping back in so uh like obviously I'm not going to try Yeah, oh no, she's no she's she's just taking a break. They're jumping back in so Like I've I said, I'm not gonna try and talk to while she's in the middle of a game. So right

That was one. Yeah, I mean So like this she's in the middle she's playing volleyball or practicing volleyball, right? but so they do enter Tournament games like a couple times a week So sometimes the little tricky know like okay are they done week. So sometimes it's a little tricky to know like, okay, are they done, done? Right. Or is it just a break?

Gotcha. In that setting, I would play a bit of a longer game, or at least a medium game, and understand, okay, what moment makes sense for me to go chat her up? She's just went to the drinking fountain, or she and one of her friends or teammates are just talking and chatting, but they're not engrossed in the game.

Don't walk up to her as she's about to hit the serve. But if it's a five minute break and she's talking to another player on the team, you could walk up to both of them in a social way. Not even a hitting on her way, just a social way. Be like, oh, hey guys hey guys guys are crushing it today How's the practice going? How's the game going? Even if it's a 10 or 15 minute little icebreaker now, you're creating a warm lead in a in a social

Situation because this is the rec center you see you've seen her there multiple times, right? Right? Yes, you don't have to like shoot your whole shot right away. You can just kind of make a look nice little warm lead Yes, you don't have to like shoot your whole shot right away. You can just kind of make a nice little warm lead Introduce yourself say hello give value be you know, not not trying to take anything at first. You're just trying to give and and play maybe a longer game, but It's it's it's about finding that that golden mean to

Finding that golden mean to quote Aristotle, that golden mean in the middle. Don't walk up in the middle of her trying to spike the ball. But also don't never talk to her and always find some excuse. There's a golden mean. The golden mean in the middle might be, oh, she's getting a drink at the water fountain she's talking to one friend and but you know she's a little bit of downtime that would be the time to go in okay these are great questions thank you I think that pretty much answers most of my main my main questions really you know like in preparation you know for us talking I love there I loved it your Valentine's Day series on approaching and thank you really it just having that good framework and it's it's funny

Listening to it. I just felt like this is how we Talk to normal people It's like I could have a conversation with like any guy or any person who I'm not interested in It's only when there's a level of attraction added to it do we at least I feel like I kind of reinvent the wheel and I just having that kind of framework to go back to no question compliment observation. Yeah, you know Explore that topic. Hi, my name is John and then going to another topic that really just gives me a

Concise way to kind of like organize my thoughts, I guess is a great way to say it. It also gives you a or will give you tell me tell me this week next week, check in with me, tell me what happens tonight or this weekend. But when you go out and follow what I call the the what do I call it? I should know this is my podcast, podcast. The Natural Approaching Method. What's my latest marketing name? The Natural Approaching, following the Natural Approaching Method. Basically that just means ABC. You can give yourself three simple options, compliment

that's G-rated, or a question that makes sense to ask her or make an observation and call out that observation. What I found is that as a very, very high percentage of approaches that are received well, very high, like really high, as long as you commit to it, as long as you have good social skills, which you certainly do. And so go test drive that tonight, this weekend, see how it does for you,

not in a batting average obsessive way, but just to see, hey wait, you know what? Most of the time, women respond pretty well. There's really not much to be afraid of. Not much. And then every so often, you'll get a woman who may be, hey, excuse us, we just want to have our conversation. Thanks. That's not even about them. That's not even about you. That's about them. And that's cool too. It's a free country. There are a lot to say. No thanks. Just remember you can approach one woman at 10 PM by 1130 and she rejects you by 1130. She's making out with you on the dance floor. Like what happened to me. Your mileage may

vary. Fingers crossed. And yeah, so I talk a lot about courage but really when what you're gonna find out I think is oh my god This is what I was afraid of It wasn't so bad This is easy. I'm just talking to people just talking to women some like me some are neutral every so often There's like kind of a mean girl, but no worries. She's a good person Probably just caught her at a bad moment and then you're gonna find out there's really nothing to be afraid of okay before we go. I want to ask you What you're gonna be what actions you are committed to taking? tonight and or this weekend for all the listeners of how to get a girlfriend and

For coach Connell. What actions are you gonna take tonight? What are you committed to doing or to this weekend? No pressure? for Coach Connell, what actions are you gonna take tonight? What are you committed to doing? Or to this weekend? No pressure. I've never done this live, I just... Totally fine, no, I am committed to the, so for this weekend it's St. Patrick's Day weekend. I am off on St. Patrick's Day.

So I am committed to, I want to approach at least, I wanna say five, five women who I find attractive, not just, I'm just saying this to get that because I don't feel Anxiety or worry if it's somebody I'm not interested in so five at least five women who I find attractive and I want to do go through the a B and C like you know of the of the approach and I want to Force myself to have that two-minute conversation with them, even if I'm feeling kind of stuck or kind of fidgety of the situation.

And then just I want to, pardon me, wants to commit to a lower number, like, oh, shoot my shot with one. But I'm going to say, I want to shoot my shot with five. Because I know if I only do one, then I'll be the last person I talk to, and then whether she says yes or no, now I feel confident. So I know once I shoot my shot with one,

regardless of if she says yes or no, I know that's gonna give me that boost of like, oh, that was easy. And so that I can keep doing the rest. So I'm my commitment this weekend is to again, I say, I'm saying an a word approach, but have a good conversation with five women who I find attractive. Shoot my shot in terms of trying to get their number or contact information with at least with all five of them. Great.

We have a verbal contract. Absolutely. With you and thousands of listeners. Everyone heard it. I can't back out. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly.

No, I mean, I'm only half kidding, but also it's important to commit to actions. It's important to say, all right, information's great. Podcasts are great. Coaching sessions with me. Look, there's no bigger fan of my coaching than me. I am my number one fan. But you know what? The right five-minute approach with the right woman is worth 10 hours on the phone with

me. It's worth more than that. The breakthrough that you might have, not to mention the relationship that might happen, but just the aha moment, there's only so much a coach can do yak, yak, yakking at you. The real gold is buried out there in the field. That's where the girls are. That's where the breakthroughs are. That's where the love is.

That's where the growth is. So yeah, I love it. And I will let you know what happened no matter what. I'm not going to ghost you after this is over. No, I know. I know. So it was great. You know, she's still here at my house. She won't leave or, you know.

Fantastic. Yeah. Action is always the answer. Action and then look at how it look at look at the events of the evening afterwards, but no self-judgment in the field. Basically five women, I'm going to chat them all up. I don't let go of results, no judgment, and just say, yeah, break the ice with five women. You might lose track and talk to 10, or you might really click with the first or second one you talk to. By the way, I give you permission to not get to five if you click with a real cutie and things happen. So that's how you can get out of your

five. If number two or three turns into a really nice approach and you make something happen, that's your get out of jail clause. That's okay. Got you. Okay. Yeah. Awesome, man. Anything else I can do for you tonight? No, sir. You've been a huge huge help You know just you know came in your you and your content kind of came into my life like at the perfect time went through a horrible breakup last year and My mom was like the part with bought me your book as a like, right? You're my just brought me your book as a as a hey I know the breakup was tough but I want

grandchildren so read this book that I got so so you're doing a really good time let's go get her some grandkids absolutely let's go get some grandkids come back in nine months let's have let's have let's make this a really good weekend come back in nine months what they'll be three of us on in nine months. Three of us, maybe four of us twins. Thank you, John, so much for joining me. Thank you for listening. I know you have so many podcast options out there and I appreciate you listening to mine. By the way, quick little marketing moment. If you are looking for a dating coach and you like what you heard tonight

You can book a free call with me you can go to dating transformation comm and book a free call and You and I will speak about some of your dating goals I can help give you clarity on what's been holding you back and help you come up with a plan to go out and meet Your dream girlfriend. So if that interests you go go to datingtransformation.com. If it doesn't, all good. Keep listening to the pod and thank you so much for being here and don't forget, your dream girlfriend, she's out there and she's gonna love you but she's gonna have to meet the real authentic you. Alright, until next time. you