How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - “Women Only Want Hot Guys” + 4 Other Dating Myths Demolished!

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

You may think that desirable women only want to date handsome men, or perhaps guys who are tall or rich. But the truth is, most women just want a confident, authentic man who has his life together. But believing these outdated beliefs can crush your confidence and cost you dates. After all, it’s hard to talk to and ask out a woman if you think she’s out of your league.In this episode of the Dating Transformation podcast, host Connell Barrett takes a sledgehammer to 5 debilitating dating myths that are hurting your love life, and he shares 5 quick tips you can use to transform romantic results. Listen now!FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL, TO LEARN HOW TO ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO WOMEN:http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactGET CONNELL’S NO. 1 BESTSELLING GUIDE FOR MEN, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T,” YOUR PRATICAL GUIDE ON HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND BY BEING RADICALLY AUTHENTIC:www.amazon.com/Dating-Sucks-but-You-Dont-ebook/dp/B08LDZL3Quotes"Nice guys are sexier than 6 pack abs as long as you cultivate that sense of worthiness and confidence."- Connell Barrett"Having cash and a cool job is a nice bonus in the eyes of women, but it doesn't ignite connection and attraction."- Connell Barrett"Instead of focusing on what you think you lack, play to your strengths and boost your confidence."- Connell BarrettFeatured in the episodeConnell BarrettFounder and Executive Coach of Dating TransformationWebsite: https://datingtransformation.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformationChapters00:51 Introduction01:39 Unveiling Authentic Flirting: Debunking Myths05:04 Attracting Women: Beyond Lamborghinis and Cash06:41 Looks Don't Define You: Embrace Your Appeal09:52 Kindness Matters: Prioritizing What Women Truly Value13:31 Jason's Success Story: Connecting Through Passion and Authenticity17:02 Embracing Body Diversity: Attraction Beyond Shapes20:35 The Charisma of Darren: Humor's Captivating Power24:05 Nice Guys Finish First: The Desirability of Kindness26:32 Nice Guys: Confidence and Sexiness Unleashed31:49 Approaching Confidently: Overcoming Creep Stereotypes33:01 Embracing Natural Connections: Genuine Interactions34:46 Outro

Bottom line is, she'll find you as sexy as Brad Pitt, even if you look like Brad Garrett. Welcome to the Dating Transformation Podcast. Here's your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. Welcome back to the Dating Transformation Podcast. I am your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you learn to flirt, gain self-confidence, and attract an incredible girlfriend all by being radically authentic. No creepy pickup artist moves needed. No BS. And always dating with total respect for women because fact is women want to meet the real you.

And I think you're going to like this episode because I'm about to count down what I think are the top five biggest myths for men in dating, and then also the tips and the truth about each myth. And then I'm going to give you a tip, a practical tip you can use right away for each myth. So that's what we're going to get to. Because the bottom line is, if you're like a lot of guys, you get so much information. You hear so many things like, oh, you've got to be an alpha male, or you have to be really good looking, really tall to attract the kind of girlfriend you want, a real wonderful quality, attractive woman inside and out. And those myths are holding you back. Those myths

hurt your mindset. They hurt your confidence. They make it harder to take action. So let's get to it. Let's talk about the five biggest myths in dating for men and the truth beneath the lie. And then I'll give you a tip that you can put to use today if you want, this week, right away. And let me start with a story. I want to tell you a quick story about an event that happened with me out with one of my clients. So here's a story. So I was out one night in LA. So what I do with my clients is I am a wingman. So I go out with guys in person, and basically I help men approach women. And I was out once in LA, in West Hollywood with my client who I'll call Jason. And I remember this night really vividly, we're on this rooftop bar called EPLP in Hollywood.

And I say, I point to two women and I say, hey, start by approaching those two ladies. Go, show me what you can do. And what I like to do when I go out with a client is first I have him go up to women and I watch and observe because I want to check out his quote unquote skill set, right? I want to know how does he talk to women? Does his vocal tone project confidence or fear? Does he make eye contact or does he stare at women? Does his vocal tone project confidence or fear? Does he make eye contact or does he stare at his shoelaces? Does he stand tall or does he slouch? So I'm looking for behavioral blind spots that might be hurting his chances for romantic success.

So I was with Jason and Jason walks over to two women. By the way, Jason has a very cool high-status job in Hollywood. He is a plastic surgeon, I think is the title. So anyway, Jason walks over to two women, one brunette and one redhead, who are both drinking dirty martinis. He walks up to them and he says, hi. And he then hands him his black and gold business card. And he said, I'm a plastic surgeon for celebrities. And the women were confused at first. They were probably thinking, was he looking for new clients? And the redhead actually self-consciously covered her nose

when he said that, thinking that, oh my gosh, do I need a plastic surgeon? And then they realized something, that Jason giving them his business card was his attempt at a pickup line. And they actually looked at each other and laughed more at him than with him, sadly. And after a couple minutes of conversation, the brunette said to Jason, hey, nice meeting you, which is code for not a chance, dude. And then they left. So his approach was rejected. And so I took Jason aside and I said, here's why that happened. Here's why they blew you off. I said, you were trying to impress them and that turned them off, I said. And I continued, when you try too hard to impress a woman, it has the opposite effect. It comes across as overcompensating. And it basically tells her that you're not at her level, that you're beneath her.

And no woman wants to date a man who she feels is beneath him. And so basically, I recognized that Jason had his head up his assets. And what happened is he was buying into this myth, this myth that women are into money, or mainly are only into money. So he thought the road to a woman's heart was traveled in a Lamborghini. And in reality, having cash, having a cool job, totally a nice bonus in the eyes of women if you have those things, but it does not ignite connection and attraction. And the idea that women only want to date rich guys is one of several myths that we're going to talk about today, the top five. And there are other big ones, right? Like thinking that looks and height are the end all be all with women. Thinking that approaching is wrong. Thinking you have to be really tall.

I'm going to read your mind. Ready? I'll bet that you would love to confidently approach women, get great matches on the dating apps, flirt with charm, and attract your dream girlfriend. Right? But fear keeps you from approaching. You're not sure how to flirt. You struggle on the apps. And desirable women just don't seem into you. Well, I have great news.

Dating coach Conal Barrett can help. He's guided thousands of men like you to more confidence and help them attract their dream girlfriends. So book a free strategy call today to see if Conal's coaching is right for you. On your call, Conal or a team member will give you personalized advice to help you have more confidence, more dates, and more fun. Oh, and you'll be dating women as your best self, a charming gentleman. That's because Connell does not teach creepy pickup artist tricks. He unlocks your most confident self, so you can make authentic romantic connections. Your next steps? Thank you. So when you buy into some of these dating myths, it can hurt you in a couple key ways.

First, it can compel you to make the wrong move. Just make the wrong technical move, like Jason handing his business card off. And it also just disempowers you. And it makes you walk through the world, your dating life anyway, feeling like, oh, I'm not enough. I have to be different than who I am. And so what I want to do on today's podcast is let's take a sledgehammer to these top five debilitating myths. And here they are. And I'll also give you five ways to fix them and give you some practical actions you can take. So myth number one is that your looks matter.

That your looks are essential. Good looks are essential to you finding a great girlfriend and having dating success. That's a myth. And the truth is, your looks are way overrated. And hey, don't get me wrong. If you have chiseled Hemsworthian features, good for you, man. But take it from a guy who's dated some beautiful women, despite resembling a Weasley brother. Your looks don't matter all that much unless you make them matter. Now, if you stop and think about it, there's a line from an old Joe Jackson song. An old Joe Jackson song called, Is She Really Going Out With Him?

And you've probably noticed some head-turning women out in the world, and you've caught yourself and seen her with guys who are not that great looking or just average looking. And you've probably stopped and said, man, why is she going out with him? So that's an example of there being evidence that this myth is indeed a myth. There are very high profile examples of this too, from Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe, Lyle Lovett dating Julia Roberts, not a good looking guy, Pete Davidson and every beautiful woman he's dated, which is about half of Hollywood. These are all examples of how you do not have to be great looking to get a great, beautiful, awesome girlfriend. And take it from me because I used to buy into this whole looks matter myth as well,

which is partially why I got married way back in my late 20s. I got married to a woman I wasn't into. I didn't want to marry and I wasn't in love with. And the truth is, I wanted to be single and date around, but I felt I just wasn't enough to do that, not good looking enough. So I settled, and then she dumped me nine weeks later because she didn't want to be with me either. And so that is what can happen when you get sucked into that idea of this myth of looks are everything to women. And as men, we get hung up on this myth for a couple of reasons. First, it's societal conditioning. Now, we're just told by the world that good looks are paramount in dating, movies, advertisements. And also, I think that as men, we are fairly visual people.

Straight men are pretty visual, and we tend to value physical beauty in women much more than women value that in us. Men are very visual, and we love a pretty face. We love an attractive figure. And so what happens is we can project our view of the world onto women and assume that women see men the same way. And then there's also the ego factor, right? Nothing can puff out a guy's chest like hearing an envious friend say to you, dude, your girlfriend's so hot, or whoa, you're dating her. And that has a lot of value to us as men. But again, men prioritize looks in a much higher place in dating than women do. And again, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying looks are meaningless to women. I'm just saying they don't value it nearly as much. And sure, I think the typical woman would probably be happy to have

a really handsome guy in her life. Sure. But let's just say that looks are way down on her must list, like way, way down. In fact, if you want to do a little additional research, a very empowering poll you can check out is a poll done by the health app Clue. And the health app Clue talked to 64,000 women and asked women what trait they want the most in a male partner. And physical attractiveness did not even crack the top 10. Number one, by the way, was kindness, which I love. I love that. Kindness is number one. Also intelligence, financial security, not rich guys, but financial security is on the list. Confidence is number five, but looks was nowhere in the top 10.

So big myth that women only want guys with great looks. So what is your move? What can you do with this newfound insight that I hope you see as an insight? And your move is to play to your strengths. What I mean is focusing on what you think you lack will only hurt your confidence. So play to your strengths. If you're not a classically great looking guy, like I am not, then play to your strengths. Maybe it's your intelligence, your wit, your sense of humor, your listening skills, your storytelling. Maybe you're just fun. Maybe you're a little bit of a cheeky, have a cheeky sense of humor. Yeah, maybe it's your flirting skills. If you're listening to this podcast or you read my book, then you're getting better at flirting, which is something women absolutely value. A guy who knows how to flirt and make her feel sexy and connected to you.

So, yeah. And by the way, a sense of humor, using your sense of humor in a flirtatious way is really powerful. Bottom line is, she'll find you as sexy as Brad Pitt, even if you look like Brad Garrett, if you know how to flirt with humor. So yeah, keep that in mind. Looks are not that important. I'll end with a quick client success story. I had a client way back in the day named Jeremy.

And Jeremy was not a good looking guy, as he admitted to me. I remember when we first spoke, he said he looked like, quote, John C. Reilly's uglier brother. And so he had a really good sense of humor about his lack of good looks. And Jeremy, by the time we were done working together, but it's okay. So he didn't have looks to offer women. But what Jeremy had was courage, cojones, basically, and also a really good sense of humor. So he used his courage and his sense of humor to approach some really cool, attractive, wonderful women. And I remember one day he sent me this email and he told me about having met, approached a beautiful professional cheerleader at a salad bar. And he had her laughing and loving him and got her phone number from a professional cheerleader. This from a guy who looks like, quote, John C. Reilly's uglier brother. So keep in mind

that looks only matter if you let them. Okay, the next myth is, number two, is the myth that women want rich guys. Women only want to date rich guys. The truth is women want men with purpose. So let me dig into this a little bit more. So back to Jason, the business card wielding guy that I started talking about at the beginning. On that same night on the rooftop in Hollywood, he met a really cool, well-dressed, stylish, attractive, successful woman, an entertainment attorney in LA. And he and I made some course corrections that night. When I go out with clients, we approach women. And then I give them some real-time feedback and some course corrections. So we made this course correction. And rather than boasting to her about his high-paying job, which I do not recommend, instead, he started talking about his passion for his career as a plastic surgeon. So instead of bragging about his cool car and money, he shared with her how fulfilling it is when he gets to, for example, do surgery on a patient and totally transform their self-confidence by giving them a new nose.

Or I know he's done work with grafting healthy skin onto a burn victim's neck. So incredible. And he opened up to this woman all about his passion for helping people. And that just absolutely melted her. And they totally hit it off. And basically, what he did was he led with his heart. He led with, again, authenticity. The bottom line is the true authentic Jason was not some braggadocious guy. The true authentic Jason was a man who just loved helping people, loved helping reshape a nose or help us a burn victim feel more confident. And that was the real him. And he showed that to this woman and they totally hit it off. So he had a very successful night after we made those course corrections. So what's your move here? Your move is to express. Don't impress, express.

Rejection, ghosting, loneliness, lack of dates and lack of confidence. For many men, dating just sucks, but it doesn't have to. There's a simple yet powerful way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend. Be radically authentic. It's all laid out in the number one Amazon best-selling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't, your step-by-step guide to attracting wonderful women and doing it with total authenticity. Author and dating coach Conal Barrett has had and fixed all the dating problems that you struggle with. He's also helped thousands of men gain confidence and find love. He's put his best tips and strategies into Dating Sucks But You Don't so that you can confidently approach women and get dates.

Become magnetic and attractive, even if you're not tall or great-looking. Always know what to say to make sparks fly. Get lots of great matches and dates on the dating apps, and attract your dream woman. You can find Dating Sucks But You Don't on Amazon, or wherever books are sold, in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. Get Dating Sucks But You Don't today to transform your confidence and find your dream girl. I don't care if you're as rich as Scrooge McDuck. Boasting about your financial status will hurt you.

It won't help you when it comes to women. They want a man of substance, not a man who flashes his fancy creds and business card. So express. Don't impress. Talk about the things that are important to you with passion. Talk about the work you've done that's brought you success if you have financial success. But talk about the work and the passion for it, not the dollar signs. Share with women what you love most about your career, why you love it, how it makes you feel, who it lets you help. Women are addicted to passionate people. Actually, all of us are. It's not about that. It's not about women. But women just love a guy who's really passionate about what he does.

So by the way, if you're not a well-to-do guy, if you're not rich, no sweat. Women are drawn to men of passion and purpose. So become a passion millionaire. Talk about your career ambition. What excites you about your job? Because bottom line is that passion and purpose are cooler than the fastest sports car. Okay, myth number three, we want to smash into little pieces. Myth number three, short guys struggle with dating. In other words, women only want to date tall guys. Short guys struggle. That is a myth.

The truth is women like guys of all shapes and sizes as long as he shows that masculine, authentic value. Let me dig into this a little bit deeper. So dating, when it comes down to it, dating is about connection and it's about showing a woman how you can bring value to her romantic life, how you can help her romantically to thrive and survive as a person, as a woman. And if you could do that, then you can have great options, lots of great romantic options, and get a great girlfriend. And you can do it whether you're six foot four or four foot six, whether you're NBA

player tall or whether you're fun size. Now, women, and I can't state this enough, so I'll say it just so simply. Women don't necessarily want tall guys. It's a nice bonus. Most women will not be against a tall guy, but they want guys. It's not that they want tall guys. The truth is women want guys who just aren't shorter than them. Now, and there are plenty of exceptions to that rule, by the way, but it's not that women want, oh, he's got to be 6'2". Women want, typically, they just want a guy who's at least not shorter than her, a little bit taller. So the average American woman, by the way, is five foot four.

So if you are five foot four or taller, you've got plenty of options. And yes, you can also attract girls who are taller than you as well. Because for a woman, it's not about height. It's about how a guy's height makes her feel. Namely, feminine, smaller, safe. And a shorter man can give her those same feelings in lots of ways. If you're a shorter guy, you can add muscle at the gym. You can carry yourself with confidence.

You can use your voice in a dominant but heart-centered way. Get really good at flirting. You can make a woman feel safe, sexy, in the care of a high-value man in lots of ways. And if you can do that, height just doesn't matter. Okay? So what's your move here? If you are not a tall guy, or at least if you're well under six foot, then your move is to feature what you can't fix. Now in business, there's a marketing concept that basically goes, what you can't fix, you feature. So by highlighting a product's weakness, you can turn into a strength. So for example, in golf, a nine-hole course isn't a lesser course. It's not half a course. It's a, quote, executive track. They rebrand it as a strength. A car, if a car is really expensive, it's not expensive. In the marketer's eyes,

it's a, quote, luxury automobile. And with dating, if you're shorter than average, then don't allow yourself to feel insecure about that. Joke about it. Turn it into something you lean into, a signifier of confidence. Crack jokes about it. Quick story. I once went out for the night way back in the day when I was out approaching lots of women and getting coaching myself. I went out for the night and I found myself wingmanning with a really cool guy. And he was about 5'4". I'll call him Darren. And Darren was phenomenal with women, even though he was 5'4", maybe 5'5", at the most. What made Darren so great? He brought charisma. He had a lot of charisma and a great sense of

humor and he was not afraid to joke. He gave zero shits about his height. And not only did he not care about his height, with several of the girls he met, he actually led with it. He told one woman, I remember him cracking a joke where he told one woman, hey, when we get married, I cannot wait to be on our wedding cake. I remember she laughed so hard she spit her drink out. And I think he had another joke, something like telling a taller woman, I promise I'm never going to look down on you. So no, don't get me wrong. Women gave him some quote unquote shit tests, but he passed

them and showed that actually he's not 5'4". Inside, he's 6'6". So feature what you can't fix. It tells people that you're secure in who you are. And that kind of security, that kind of confidence is sexy to women of all heights. Okay, let's go with myth number four. We're going to break here today. Myth number four about dating is that women like bad boys, not nice guys. Women like bad boys, not nice guys. That's a myth. The truth is that nice guys are sexier than six-pack abs to women, as long as that man has a backbone. He's got some steel inside of him. Okay? But yeah, nice guys are sexier than six-pack abs. And here's where society has probably gotten us all in our head. Women do like the bad boy, at least in pop culture and society. Russell Brand was big for a while.

He had that cheeky, naughty, British humor vibe. Jason Statham, Han Solo. There's something to be said for a bad boy being attractive and true. The truth is, yeah, bad boys, quote unquote, can get girls giggling, get them twirling their hair, get them giving out their numbers. And you might be thinking that, oh, well, the odds of a woman swooning over me, a nice guy, an introvert, a regular guy, very slim, right? Well, that's wrong. Happy to say that's a myth. Truth is, you can totally steal a little bad boy mojo while still being the nice, cool guy you are and without getting stuck in the friend zone as well. And I know this from experience, not just from the hundreds, hundreds of nice guy clients I've helped get girlfriends and dates and flirt like amazing men.

I also know this from my own personal experience. So I don't know how much you know about me, but I'm a nice guy. I grew up in Ohio, a nice Ohio town raised by nice Ohio parents, Danny and Greta. And I'm a nice dude. I volunteer at a blind residence. I say please and thank you. Very polite to service staff. I literally help.

Sometimes I literally help little old ladies cross the street. By the way, I'm not bragging. I'm not saying this to impress you. I'm actually just trying to impress upon you that you can be a nice guy and also still be great with women. And the bottom line is women are dying to date nice guys. So here's a little data for you. I love doing a little research. I like scientific polls. Glamour Magazine did a poll a while back. And single women chose nice guys, quote unquote, loyal and lovable men, basically nice guys, as the category of men they most want to date. That was the number one category of guy that Glamour Magazine women poll respondents wanted to date, 33%. You know who finished second

to last at 6%? Bad boys. So 33% of women want nice guys, 6% of them want bad boys. And I also know this from experience, is that playing the cocky bad boy with women, it just does not work for most men. I don't know. Maybe if you're actually a cocky bad boy kind of guy, maybe that's congruent and quote unquote authentic. I wouldn't know that. But I do know that I went out once for a whole month on a one coach's of mine on his orders said, go out for a month, be a jerk, be a bad boy, and women are going to go for you. And I tried it for like 10 days. It felt awful. I felt like I was wearing a suit, somebody else's suit, and it did not work. Women looked at me like I was an alien. And then there was one night, different night,

when I was talking to a beautiful woman, a Maxim model. I'll call her Julie. Glossy-haired Maxim model. This was in Miami. And I met Julie, and I was talking to her. And she is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. And we got to talking and she said something that's stuck with me. And she was basically complaining about all these narcissistic guys. And this is a girl who's been on the cover of Maxim. Okay. And she was talking about all these narcissistic jerks who she meets in, I think she was in LA at the time where she lived. And she said something that still resonates with me. She said, I'm so sick of arrogant men. And then she said,

nice guys, I'd love to meet a nice guy, but they never approach me. And it's too bad because I would love to date a nice guy. Nice guys are sexier than six-pack abs. And then she added, as long as they have a backbone. Did you catch that? Nice guys are sexier than six-pack abs to women, as long as they have a backbone. And so yeah. So when a nice guy strikes out with a woman, quote unquote, strikes out, it. Yeah, you just need to be a good, solid guy with steely self-confidence. And again, the fastest way to get that steely self-confidence is make that big shift to being radically authentic, as I talk about in many other podcasts and in my book. So yeah, so that's my take on this last one.

Don't listen to that, women only want bad boys, not nice guys. Nice guys are sexier than six-pack abs as long as you cultivate that sense of worthiness and confidence. So what's your move here? What can you put into practice? Be a man with a plan. Women love a leader. So when talking to a woman, setting up a date, never say, so what do you want to do? Have a plan. Lead. Pick a place that she'd love to go, or at least that you think she'd love to go.

Have a second spot in mind for a nightcap. Know where you're taking her with decisiveness. Speak decisively. Speak with confidence and certainty as much as you can muster. Imagine being on a first date and it's going pretty well, but you're not sure. Don't say, so what do you want to do next do you want to go somewhere else you can say hey i have a great idea i'm having a great time and so are you i think wink wink uh let's go to insert cool place that you already know about it's awesome and you're gonna love it shall we so be a decisive certain man with a plan and yeah, basically do that and you can begin to

date like a bad boy while being the good guy who you are. Okay, let's talk about one more big old myth that messes with guys. Should we talk about approaching or should we talk about the whole alpha male thing? Um, how about I'm thinking, yeah, let's talk about approaching because a lot of guys talk to me about this. Um, here's a big myth, myth number five, and this bothers a lot of guys. It might bother you. There's a big myth and men feel like, quote, bothers a lot of guys. It might bother you. There's a big myth, and men feel like, quote, it's creepy to approach. It's creepy to approach a woman.

And the truth is, I think it's creepy not to approach. It's creepy not to approach. And let me try to underscore this with a quick story. So when I was first going out, learning how to approach click with women, this was in the late double zeros. I went out, I was at a trendy rooftop lounge here in New York City. I was out with my wingman, a buddy of mine I was going out with. And my wingman and I made a deal. We had to do whatever the other person said all evening long. So if he said, approach that table or talk to that girl, I had to do what he said and vice versa. So that was how we were keeping each other honest and taking action. So my wingman pointed over to a table and there was a really cute brunette and her really cute blonde friend. And sitting with them was this big muscular guy, this big burly guy, shaved head, tight t-shirt, massive muscles. And at this point, I was still very nervous about talking to women. I was still dealing with some approaching anxiety.

And let alone dealing with a potentially pissed off boyfriend was very scary to me. I mean, this guy was huge. He was like, if a bottle of muscle milk became corporeal, this guy, that was this guy. But I summoned courage and I walked over doing what I was told by my wingman. And so the three of them were seated and there was an open chair. And I sat in the empty chair and I said, hello. And my opener was something pretty basic. Like, hey, what's up?

You guys look friendly. Hello, I'm Connell. That's simple. Nothing fancy. And the brunette's eyes got really wide, and she leaned forward, and she sat, kind of leaned toward me and said, oh my god, you just came right up and talked to us. Do you know what you are? And I was like, in my mind, I was thinking, a creep who's about to get his butt kicked by your muscly friend here, but I kept my cool. I didn't say

anything. I said, what do you mean? What am I? And she said, you're normal. And then she tilted her head toward a different guy sitting a couple tables over, a fellow ginger, by the way, guy in a black shirt, I remember. And she said, see that guy over there? He's been staring at us all night and it's creeping us out. But you just came right up and talked to us. Thank you. Thanks for being normal, basically, is what she said. Oh, by the way, the big hulking guy with all the muscles who I was worried about, he was super friendly. He wasn't even dating either of them. He was just a dude, friend, and he was very friendly. And I eventually traded numbers with the brunette who was super charming in addition to being really pretty and confident. So yeah, most men don't approach women. And often that comes from a fear

of coming across as creepy, thinking that approaching is creepy. But if you think about it, there's nothing creepy about approaching. What's actually creepy to women is a guy who wants to approach but does nothing and just stares. That creeps women out. Especially if you're in a social setting like a bar or a pub where people go out to talk with other people. The whole point is you're out there socializing. Otherwise, you could stay at home and drink. What's more normal than saying hello to being social with people out, especially at a bar or a lounge? So what's your move here? Your move is to follow the three second rule. This is an age old approaching tip. It goes way back long before I ever got into this world. And basically, when you're in a social environment and you see a

woman you'd like to talk to, approach her immediately. Start counting down from three. And before you hit zero, be walking toward her. So three seconds from the time you spot her, walk up. Because if you delay for too long, that lower doubtful self is going to talk you out of it. It's going to say, oh, don't do it. It's creepy. You're not cool enough. You're not good looking enough. You're not tall enough.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Tell that voice to put a gag in the mouth of that voice and walk up, listen to the three second rule because the longer you wait, the heavier the weight, right? So three, two, one, go. Don't forget that. Okay. You know what? I might do a separate second episode all about dating myths because there are a lot more, but they'll do it for today. So those are your top five dating myths and the truth in each case, and also the tip you can put into use right away. All right. Until next time, remember, women out there already like you.

They just have to meet the authentic you. See you next time. Thank you for listening to the Dating Transformation Podcast. For lots of free tips, videos, and other goodies, go to datingtransformation.com. See you next time.