How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett - You Want to Approach—But Anxiety Stops You. The 7 Steps to Confidently Meet Women Anywhere

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

You see quality women you’d love to meet—but anxiety gets in the way. In this episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach and author Connell Barrett lays out the 7 mileposts that take you from freezing up to confidently getting numbers and dates. Listen to learn why you’re stuck—and what it takes to meet attractive women in real life.Episode Highlights:04:15: Milepost 1: Destroy Your Limiting Belief13:13: Milepost 2: Approach Often (Reps, Baby!)16:45: Milepost 3: Reach the the 2-Minute Mark21:27: Milepost 4: Low Anxiety, High Confidence23:41: Milepost 5: Getting Numbers & Dates (Results!)28:25: Milepost 6: Confident, Fearless Approaching31:27: Milepost 7: Your Amazing Outcome: Confidence, Dates, and Meeting Your Dream GirlfriendTIRED OF FREEZING UP AROUND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN? BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION WITH CONNELL:DatingTransformation.comGET A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”:Email: [e-mail] (Write “Free Book” in Subject Line)

It takes two minutes for a woman who doesn't know you from Adam to basically say, oh, yeah, I'll give this guy my number. He seems pretty cool. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Connell Barrett. I'm here to help you flirt with confidence, know what to say, how to say it, attract some wonderful women and get a great girlfriend. And do it all by being authentic. No sketchy pickup artist moves needed here. Women like you for you.

And that goes for approaching as well. In this episode, I want to help you see exactly where you are on your journey to approach women. If you're like most single men, you want to meet beautiful, attractive women out in the world, but you never do. You rarely or never do. You never talk to women or break the ice with them. In this episode, I'm going to share with you why that happens, why you're stuck. I'm also going to give you a crystal clear roadmap, what I call the seven mile posts to approaching

success so that we can take you from hesitation and anxiety to confidently approaching and getting numbers and dates. And I'm also going to share with you so that you hopefully will understand in about 20 or 25 minutes exactly what it takes to break through that barrier and start getting approaching results. So let's get to it. Let's dive right in. I want to share with you what I want to share with you.

I call the seven approaching mile posts. These are the seven mile posts to you getting confident approaching success where you're confidently, comfortably meeting women out in the real world. I'm talking in real life at the gym, at the coffee shop, at the bar on Friday night, at the party where you see those two women in the corner. You love to go talk to them, but you don't do it or you rarely do it. I want to help you be able to do that and know exactly where you are on the path and how to get all the way to doing it. And so let me just lay out for you what I call the seven mile posts to your confident approaching success. Here are the seven mile posts. These are the seven mile posts that I take my clients through. And here we go. Because right now, you need to know

where you are in this journey from wanting to approach women but not doing it or maybe not doing it with the success you want, or maybe not doing it at all. So, milepost number one, first you need to identify and replace the biggest limiting belief that gets in the way. That's the first milepost. Mile post number two is you approach often. You approach often many times a week, multiple times a week. Mile post three, you go for the two-minute mark of conversation with a woman you approach. In other you approach and you get to that two-minute mark of conversation. Mile post number four, approach anxiety. Your fear and anxiety to do this diminishes and comfort and confidence goes up.

That's number four. Mile post five is you start asking for numbers and dates after you hit that two-minute mark. Mile post number six, this is where it gets really fun. You start feeling confident and you're decisively approaching. You're talking to many women a week confidently and decisively and beginning to see measurable results, dates, hookups, instant makeouts, phone numbers, whatever it is that you want. And then mile post number seven, this is the holy grail. Your amazing approaching outcome is achieved.

You're getting three plus numbers per week, at least one date per week from women you approach. And also you just feel really confident and comfortable in yourself with little to no anxiety. Those are the seven mile posts to you having approaching, confident approaching success. So let's see where you are. Okay. If you're like most men, you are actually stuck. You're not even at level one or you're between level one and number two or mile post number one and mile post number two. Mile post number one, you identify and replace a limiting belief.

Most guys don't do that, right? Most guys don't do it. Here's what I mean by a limiting belief. The two most common limiting beliefs that keep you from approaching or keep you from doing it with any frequency, it's either, I'm not enough, I'm not attractive enough, women don't want me because I lack this. or it's, I don't know what to say. I just don't know what to say.

I don't know how you do it. I'm not sure the words to use. Or sometimes it's both of those things. Sometimes it's both. And this first mile post is so important because this taps into your very identity. Here's what I mean by identity. So the very first woman I ever approached in my life, 2009, this story opens my book, is the opening chapter of my book. And I never approached a woman until I was 38 years old because I was afraid

that women just didn't like me. My limiting belief was, I'm just a shy, nerdy ginger. Women don't want me. They want to be with some outgoing brash alpha male. I'm just not what women want. And what that limiting belief does is it turns rejection into into unworthiness, into into, into, self self um what's the right word self destruction of the ego i'm not good enough so that's why i never approached a woman in fact the very first night everyone ought to approach women before i even talked to that first woman i had a panic attack in the bathroom stall of the plunge rooftop bar in at the gans ofort hotel and the me packing district here in New York city fucking panic attack hands shaking, puking, petrified. I just thought, oh, it's nerves. No, it was a straight-up panic attack.

So that's why, number one, identify and replace that limiting belief is so important because if you think you're not enough for women or if you truly don't know what to say or how to talk to women, then you're never going to do mile post two, mile post three, and you're never going to get to the amazing outcome of confident, successful approaching. So, The big win for me that night was that I had a coach with me. I paid three grand to a pickup dude who took me out, took me and a couple other guys out in the town. My cat's getting on my lap.

Here we go. Hey, baby. My cat Parmi is sitting on my lap as I record this. Hi, sweetie. Hi. So I hired a coach that weekend who made me take action because I paid three grand to this guy. And so that forced me to take action. I kind of cut through my limiting belief.

And I had an incredible win that night. A great connection with an attractive woman, an aspiring actress named, what did I call her in my book? I believe I called her Katie in my book. And, oh, no, Kelly in my book. That's not her real name, but I changed all the names of my book for privacy purposes. So if you don't approach women. at all or if you want to and you just do it like literally once or twice a year,

you probably have a really deep internal belief that's telling you, I'm not good enough. I'm too short. I'm too ugly. I'm not cool enough. I'm not interesting enough. And that's a bullshit story. But you got to flip that.

You got to flip that. And I didn't flip it that night, but I had to take action. And I began to shift it that night. Because after I had this really nice approaching success where I left this rooftop bar with a beautiful young woman on my arm, the prettiest woman I'd ever dated. And I'd never approached a woman before that night. That next day, I remember thinking, hey, wait a minute. Am I worthless to women? Or maybe I'm enough.

It really gave me an identity level. Not a transformation that night because it took time, but it made me go, wait a minute. If I can walk up to a beautiful woman on a rooftop and just walk out with her and, you know, we hook up and maybe start dating, damn, what else am I capable of? And that was, that opened the door for me. So anyway, that's milepost number one. Chances are you are probably not approaching women at all because of that limiting belief. It's probably what's going on for you. If you are approaching women, we're going to find out because we've got six more mileposts to talk about.

But most men tell themselves a story. You come up with a reason not to approach women. Let me guess. You probably say things like, oh, I don't want to bother her. Or you say things like, I don't know what to say. Or you say things like, oh, I'm busy. You know, she doesn't want me to, you know, I'm commuting to work. I'm commuting to work.

I'm not going to approach that. I had a client named Jason who smashed through that one. he would approach women at Dunkin' Donuts at 7.30 a.m. because he worked nights. And he was leaving his night shift when women were at Dunkin' Donuts on their way to work. And he would chat them up and he would get numbers and dates from Dunkin' Donuts, 7.30 in the morning. Bottom line is a woman wants a great guy like you or me when I was single to come up and chat with her because it doesn't matter what time of day it is. But you have these stories that talk you out of it. So if you're stuck at mile post one, you have some limiting beliefs. You have some stories that keep you from doing it.

And that keeps you from mile post number two. Mile post number two is open often, approach often, six, at least six times per week you want to have, you want to break the ice with attractive women, with women you might be attracted to. And if you can't get past mile post number one, Mile post number two isn't going to happen. And so there's a huge bottleneck here with mile post number one. That's the big thing. Because here we are. It's 2026.

90 something percent of single men never approach, in my opinion. I would say, I would say at most 5 percent of men who are single or out approaching women on any kind of semi-regular basis. At most 5 percent, probably less, but I'll be generous. Of those 5%, most of those guys need liquid courage, or they need some kind of canned, scripted, planned pickup line, something they rehearsed or got off of the garbage pile that is red pill on Reddit. Or they say something cheesy. My girlfriend and I were out a while back at a rooftop bar where I was coaching men, and I left my girlfriend Jess alone. She's very pretty, very blonde, very pretty. And some guy approached her and he said, hey, I'm a pirate.

I'm looking for my treasure. Can you help me find my treasure? Do you have my treasure or my treasure map? It was just like some dorky thing he found. No disrespect to him. He's taken a shot. I don't mind that. But most guys need the crutch of some canned cheesy line or liquid courage.

The number of men who approach women with real vulnerability and realness and authenticity, That is so rare. That's what I teach, by the way. I teach men to do this. Hey, let's be really fucking real and raw in ourselves. Whoever you truly authentically are, boom, that's how you want to approach. And that's how you learn what to say. So anyway, if you do want to learn exactly how to identify and destroy that limiting belief,

so you can start confidently approaching women and meeting them, my website, go to datingtransformation. You can book a free call with me. And we can get on the phone and I'll walk you through, okay, here's the specific belief that's hurting you. Here's why you lack confidence. Or if it's not about confidence, if it's you really don't know what to say, I'll tell you what to say. No charge.

All my consultation calls are free. If we decide to work together, amazing. If we don't, that's cool. Not everybody is meant to be my client. But anyway, go to datingtransformation.com. if you are stuck in milepost number one, if you want to approach women, but you rarely or never do, you are stuck in mile post one because you have some limiting things that get in the way. So I can help you smash through that.

Okay, let's go to mile post number two, open often. What does that mean? That just means approach often, six times a week minimum. That's what it takes to get that amazing approaching goal of meeting your future girlfriend from an approach or getting dates from approaching. It takes about six per week. More is better, but six is the minimum it takes. And you want to approach often or consistently throughout a day or a week so that you get momentum. Hard earned momentum can change everything. It really can. I had a client recently visiting from Taiwan. I'll call him Aaron. Aaron was here.

in New York City. He came here in part to work with me to spend a few days approaching girls. So I'm his wingman. We went to a cool rooftop spot. We went to some parks here in New York City. And I'm literally side by side with him helping him approach women. And the first handful of approaches he did were choppy. He was nervous. He was in his head. Once he got to about six approaches in our first session that we did together, something really clicked nicely for him. It was about approach number four, approach number five, where he began to loosen up and he was in a park. At first, it was hard for him to approach girls. At least it wasn't hard for him.

I shouldn't say that. But he was choppy and kind of nervous in his head. By the time he had about five or six approaches under his belt, this really pretty young woman. Turns out she's Egyptian, beautiful young woman, probably mid-20. she was walking through Washington Square Park. Aaron walked up alongside her on my direction. He did a little circle around her, got in front of her, stopped her, and said, hey, I just saw you.

I had to meet you. And he wanted to talk to her. And all he said was, hey, you, I have to talk to you. You're really cute. What's up? He was very direct. Her eyes lit up. She smiled.

And what made that good outcome happen for him is that he was opening, he was approaching. often. He had some momentum. So step number two on your mile post, seven mile post to getting that approaching confidence and success is you got to do it. You just got to do the reps. Six minimum per week. Minimum. The ultimate number is going to be 10 to 12 per week. That's what it's going to take. But to start just to get that momentum going open often, just like Aaron did here. By the way, that first night when I went out approaching women that I told you about earlier, a few minutes earlier, it took me about five or six approaches to get to get the let out, to get into that momentum zone. So that's just how life works, right? You go to the gym,

you stretch before the gym, you stretch before you're running, you stretch, you practice before you're playing that musical instrument. We got to warm up a little bit. So it takes five or six approaches to warm up a little bit. So give yourself options. I should, sorry, let me repeat that. Rephrase that. Give yourself the gift of momentum so you can get the good approaching results. Mile post number three. So we got mile post number one, identify and replace that limiting belief. Number two, open often. Approach at least six women per week, if not more. Mile post number three, go for the two minute mark during an approach. You need to get to the two minute mark as often as possible. Here's why.

The two-minute mark is this magical, almost magical, well, yardstick. It takes two minutes for a woman who doesn't know you from Adam to basically say, oh, yeah, I'll give this guy my number. He seems pretty cool. It takes two minutes just for rapport to kick in so she can decide about you. It also takes you about two minutes to go from anxious and nervous, which you're going to be at first, Those first five, 10 seconds, those are the scariest moments, about two minutes before you'll relax and just feel comfortable in your own skin and feel like you're you.

So you need to go for that two minute mark. Something kind of magical happens after two minutes. That doesn't mean she's instantly going to fall in love with you. And I'm not saying don't, I'm not saying don't keep talking. Five, ten, fifteen minutes is better than two minutes, but two minutes is what it takes minimum. I could walk up to a woman as a dating coach and as a man who's approached thousands of women. I could walk up to a woman, use the best, whatever. Coolest line, be so in the zone, make a woman smile and giggle. If I bail before two minutes and even if I get her number,

she's going to flake because she just doesn't have enough of a connection to me yet, doesn't understand how she feels about me. So you want to go for that two minute mark. Okay. It's really, really important. I remember when I first started getting good at hitting that two-minute mark. It was early in my approaching journey. It was in the daytime. And when I first started approaching women in the daytime, oh my God, dude, I felt like, oh, my God, am I going to creep her out? Am I the world's weirdest guy? Am I some creepy pickup guy? And now, this was before TikTok was a thing. social media wasn't so huge back then. Now, people are like, oh my God, am I going to bother her and get flamed on social media? So it can be really intimidating just to say hi, let alone last for

two minutes. But I remember, so the first day I approached during the daytime, what you might call quote, day game is I couldn't go five seconds. I just literally said hi and ran away, literally ran away. And I remember what really helped me, here's a little tip to help you get to that two minute mark. I talked with a woman during the daytime. And oh, I remember. She was at Barnes and Noble. And I saw this really pretty brunette. She's wearing an NYU t-shirt, probably mid-20s. And I'm late 30s at the time. And I approached her. and I sat and I was feeling pretty confident because I was getting those reps. Step two, I was opening often. So I had some momentum. Mile post three. Approached cute brunette. Hey, I just saw you.

And I had to say hi to the cute girl at the bookstore. I think I said something like that. I either said that or I might have said, it's nice to see that pretty girls still read books. She smiled. She liked my flirty opening line. And that, that's a good. And that. That helped me feel confident because she responded well. Then after about a minute, I got in my head about what to say. What do I do? I'm only at a minute. I got to get to the two minute mark.

And then I simply said, oh, what's your name? My name's Connell. What's your name? She gave me her name. I think it was Julie. Cool. As soon as you introduce yourself and get her name, give your name, get her name. Now you're not two strangers.

You're two people getting to know each other. And that'll buy you a second minute. So feel free to do that approach. Say the thing. Go as long as you can. It'll probably last you 30 to 60 seconds. Whatever that opening topic is, hey, I like your book. You're reading.

I like your tattoo. Oh, what coffee are you drinking? That'll last you about 60 seconds. And then say who you are. Say your name and ask for her name. This will buy you a minute. You'll get to that two minute mark. And by the time you get to that two minute mark,

you'll feel so much more confident and comfortable. And then you can be more authentically, confidently, you. So that two-minute mark is important. So that's mile post number three. Here's mile post number four. Mile post number four is anxiety decreases, confidence, and comfort rises consistently. In other words, by the time you get to mile post four, your anxiety is diminished down to butterflies.

and your comfort and confidence is a lot higher. And this just comes with reps. Reps, reps, reps. This is where the fear fades and your confidence grows. It's still a little bit wobbly at times, of course. But this is mile post number four. And my client, Aaron, the one who just visited me from Taiwan, he was here for a total of five days.

He and I did three in-person approaching sessions. And by the time, by the end of session number two, day two, I could visibly see his shoulders were back. He wasn't slouching. He had this little nervous habit of shaking, not shaking, but of like shimmering back and forth. Like remember Axel Rose in the Guns and Roses videos? He would kind of shimmy back and forth. by the end of the second day, just through the reps and through some of the coaching corrections I was giving, Aaron, and could just see how much more comfortable he was, where he could walk up

to women in a really casual, physically comfortable way. And that is so important. Mile post number four is so important. Because once your anxiety is gone and just butterflies, then that's when the floodgates open. Now there's nothing in the way, right? the fear is gone. It's now just about taking the right action and dialing in the flirting mechanics, knowing, you know, oh, here's how to tease her a little bit,

or here's how to just be really genuine in myself and even more so. And knowing how to ask women out, those things are important. So yeah, mile post number four, that's when this gets fun. Mile, post number four is when the results start to kick in. that's when the results start to kick in. Then we get to mile post number five. Number five is asking for numbers and dates. So important, right?

You just simply, it's your job as the man. It's our job as the man to take the phone out, ask for numbers, ask for dates. And here's something that on your journey to approaching and confident approaching success, what will happen is you'll start taking action. You get in touch with your worth. Your identity is good. You don't have any big limiting beliefs. Hopefully, if you do, book a call with me.

Then you'll open an approach often. You'll hit the two-minute mark. But then what will happen is you'll get to that two-minute mark and then you might just walk away from an approach without going for digits, going for a date. Don't do that, please. please always ask for a number and a date. Here's a quick story about my client, Joel, having a big, great big aha moment breakthrough.

So I coached Joel and he got past his approach anxiety, but then he ran into a second approach, sorry, a second anxiety wall where he felt so good that this attractive woman was talking to him that he didn't want to ruin it by asking for a number or going for a and having her possibly say no. Now that's understandable, but that creates a roadblock to success, because if you don't ask a woman out, she's not going to ask you out. Nine out of ten women will not be the one to do it. You have to do it.

That's our jobs as men. So Joel and I are in Madison Square Park here in New York City one afternoon, one Saturday afternoon. Joel has approached a very attractive brunette, stylish. She's got these cool sunglasses on. She's sitting on a bench. in this park and I see him with her and I'm like, okay, Joel's crushing it. I go find another client.

I help another client for five or ten minutes. I come back and that woman's by herself. And Joel is nowhere to be found. I walk about 50 yards and I see Joel with his head in his hands absolutely beside himself. his shoulders are slumped and he looks like he looks like he just found out everybody and his family died and I came over and I said Joel what happened he said oh Connell I screwed up I winked out I just didn't ask her out it was going great and I just walked away and said well nice meeting you hot brunette

and I walked away I'm such an idiot and I said Joel she's still sitting right there. And then I said, let me ask you this, bro. And here's a great question you can ask yourself, dear listener. But I said to Joel, if you knew you couldn't fail, what would you say to her right now if you went back over there? What's the most honest thing you would say to her? And he said, I would walk over there and I would say, Jennifer, I was an idiot for not asking you out. You're absolutely gorgeous and cool. And I want to take you on a date. And I said, that's what you say then. That's the best thing to say, the truthful, authentic, honest thing that's from the heart. And he walked over to her. I followed nearby.

I didn't want to follow next to him because I didn't want her to see me. I didn't want her to see me being his coach. But kind of ruins the, it just happened vibe that women like. But he marches back over. He says the thing. Hey, Jennifer, I'm an idiot. I should. I should ask you out. You're cool. What's your number? I want to take you out. And I'm watching this from afar. I couldn't hear him, but I just see her, I see her look up. She smiles, and then she puts her hand out as if to say, give me your phone, you stud. She takes, his phone, gives her number to him, and then boom. And he was on top of the world after that. And Joel, to my knowledge, got he smashed through that sticking point. So the lesson here is,

Always ask a woman out. If you get to the two-minute mark with a really cute girl and you start asking for numbers and dates consistently, boom, you are at mile post number five. And that's when the measurable results start coming in consistently. So, yeah, that's mile post five. Mile post number six is amazing. Number six is confident, decisive approaching. 10 conversations opened per week. So 10 different women you've approached.

And you're doing it decisively. In other words, no hesitation. Most of the time, you're just, sorry, my cats in his little cat tunnel. If you hear background noise, I have two little ginger tabbies who are little monsters. So confident, decisive approaching is mile post number six. And mile post number six is basically, yeah, you can do 10 per week and it's all good. Butterflies, sure, but you're confident and you're decisive. And of course, you're also hitting that two-minute mark as much as you can asking for numbers and dates.

So basically, that's when the results start to kick in. And this is pretty much where you want to be. And no very few men ever get to mile post six, let alone to number seven, which I'm about to talk about. confident, decisive approaching. That happened for me. It took me way longer than it should have because my coaches back in the day and some of them were great. Some of them were absolutely fantastic.

They changed my life. And I've talked about a couple of them here. But they didn't really know how to teach me mindset and managing my emotions. And so it took me about a year and a half to get to mile post six. solid year and a half from from panic attack in the bathroom and puking. Hold on. It's going to throw my cat toy at Reggie. Here you go, buddy.

Okay. Took me a year and a half from that panic attack in the bathroom stall to confident, decisive approaching where I was doing 10 plus conversations per week. The big breakthrough I had was that my coach, guy named Owen Cook, and I talked about him in detail in a podcast about six weeks ago, he helped me out, had this amazing night in Miami where he took me out for the night. And he showed me how I was being really hesitant by trying to think of the perfect thing. And he made me do like machine gun approaches, boom, boom, boom, boom, 15, 20, 25 approaches at the Fontainebleau hotel. in Miami and that was my breakthrough because I finally let go of this bullshit story that I had to say something clever and perfect and amazing when instead I just had to I just had to be decisive

and just let go of my perfectionism and having to do it well so that was a big breakthrough for me I ended up spending the evening spending the night with a beautiful young woman that night And that took me to a higher level than I'd ever been. And that leads us to a choir of angels sings. Milepost number seven, your amazing approaching outcome. This is what I do for my clients and this is what I want for you. What's your amazing outcome? Again, you're getting three numbers a week from really quality, attractive women who you're actually into.

You're going on at least one date per week, maybe more, but at least one. and you have true confidence, little to no anxiety. So we've got all, everything is cranking here. Three plus numbers a week you're getting, you have abundance. An abundance not just of numbers and dates, which will change your life, but also just an abundance of that internal worth. So that is the goal. That is the ultimate goal. It's not required.

You don't need to get to mile post number seven to get a girlfriend, but it is absolutely the nay plus ultra. It's the Mount Olympus. It's the Holy Grail, the NBA championship, the Wimbled and title, number seven, the amazing outcome, mile post, number seven, one day to week, three plus numbers a week, confidence, no anxiety to speak of. You might go out for the night and hook up with a beautiful woman that night. That's called pulling in the parlance of pickup dudes from a while back.

You go out where you might go out and meet a woman that night, end up with back at her place or your place. That's what happened to me. The very first night I ever went out to approach with my coach's help. This is the opening chapter of my book, by the way, if you want to hear the story in detail. I had never approached a woman in my life, and I left that venue that night with this really pretty, wonderful woman named Kelly on my arm. We left the venue because I'd approached. I'd opened often, mile post two. I hit the two minute mark with lots of women that night, mile post three.

My anxiety decreased. My comfort rose. Mile post four. I started asking for numbers and dates, mile post five. And by the time I approached Kelly, I was feeling. feeling that night anyway, confident and decisive. And then I ended up leaving the venue with Kelly. We went to a karaoke bar, went to one other spot, and then went back to my apartment.

So you can actually hit all seven mile posts in one amazing night or weekend. That's what I did with my coach, this guy who went by the name Ryan, not his real name. But I just realized this as I'm recording this. I was like, holy shit. These mile posts, it took me a year and a half to get there consistently. However, you can sample all seven mile posts or jump ahead and experience the first three, four, five. Like, you could go out this weekend. And even if you won't have long-term confidence yet, you could,

easily go out this weekend, grab two or three numbers, and leave the bar with an attractive women. I know because my clients do it all the time. And other men do as well, but not very many these days. So that's the amazing outcome. That's the goal is that because think about it, when you're getting three numbers a week, about one date a week, maybe you pull a super cute girl from that bar or you leave the coffee shop together, then you go get a smoothie. Boom, you're on an instant date. That's how you start getting abundance of options. And the way to get a great girlfriend, to tie all this back to the podcast, how to get a girlfriend.

The way to get a great girlfriend is you have an abundance of options. You have a reasonable abundance, not as some kind of pickup player, dude. Hell no, I don't mean that. I just mean you have choices, right? You have, you know, you just had a date with Megan, and date number two with Brooke, who you met at the gym, is this Saturday, and you just grabbed another cute girl's number at a party, and now you have options.

And the best way to get a girlfriend is to have an abundance of options, and you say, you know what? Jenny and Brooke and Megan are fantastic, but wow, there's something special about Mia. She's the one. She's gorgeous. She's got a cool job. She's got her life together.

We have chemistry. I'm going to make her my girlfriend, or at least I'm going to make her my favorite choice and see if she feels the same way about me. That's how you choose an incredible partner from having some quality options under your belt. And if you want to make approaching the way to do it, you're going to need to get to that seventh milepost

or at least climb up, get to advanced mileposts. And you're definitely going to need to smash through that sticking point that keeps you from getting past. mile post number one that internal self-doubt am i enough do women want me to approach am i good enough um is it weird or creepy to do this we got to get rid of those or you got to get rid of them if you want to get to mile post number seven cool i hope all this makes sense to you um yeah again if you want my personalized help to get you to smash through some of these issues and get you these get you to mile post number seven that's what i do just go to dating

Transformation.com, you can book a call with me. If you're not looking for coaching, no worries. For anybody listening to this podcast, if you want a free copy of my book, I wrote a book called Dating Sucks, but You Don't, came out a few years ago. It's got my best coaching in it, at least as of the time I wrote it. And there's a lot of great approach coaching insights and tips in my book. I'll send you a free copy, no strings, no mailing list. I'll just send it to you because I love helping men the way my best coach has helped me. Just email me. My email is Connell at datingtransformation.com.

And in the email, just write like a subject line, free book. And I will send you a free book as soon as I get your email. So again, datingtransformation.com, if you want to book a call with me to find out how my coaching can help you smash through these different mileposts. Or email me for a free copy of my book. And I think you'll love it. I'm really proud of it. It's the best thing, second best thing I've ever written.

The best thing I ever wrote was my mom's eulogy, but my book is a close second. I'm really proud of it. And I think it's the best thing you can read in my humble opinion about approaching and flirting and dating success. Okay, thank you so much for listening. Until next episode.