How to Talk to People - Introducing: How to Talk to People

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

On How to Talk to People we explore the barriers to relationship building and why—in a world of endless potential for connection—so many people still feel alone. From the struggle to prioritize non-romantic relationships, to just feeling uncertain of what to talk about with strangers, host Julie Beck and producer Rebecca Rashid unravel the complexities of putting yourself out there—in hopes of revealing the rewards of showing up.  Talk to How to Talk to People—by “talk,” we mean write to us—at [e-mail]. To support this podcast, and get unlimited access to all of The Atlantic’s journalism, become a subscriber. Music by Tellsonic (“The Whistle Funk”).  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

you know in the mid 70s we went on an average of five picnics a year with our neighbors. Oh my. And that was down to two by the mid 90s so. Bring back picnics. Oh my god. Bring back picnics you know. I mean I did just have a picnic the other day Julie. But the hard thing feels like getting everyone to talk at the picnic. I saw I surveyed the other day that said like more than half of American adults say they've been finding it harder to build relationships. So I think something is just up in our society where people are struggling to find the sense

of community that they want. It really is something you have to focus on daily. It doesn't actually come naturally. We can choose what resonates with us. And my choice is I want to value again, friends, as much as a potential spouse. And because so much of our society is oriented around romantic relationships and nuclear families, it can be hard to know how to build support systems outside of those. Do you find it easier to make the chitchat with the bus driver than to make a friend? Making a friend is like a real energetic investment.

I can't explain like I want to make a friend but I only want to make like one friend. Like I don't want just one million friends. The individualism that's so central to American culture can make it hard for people to make the deep connections that they want. It's not that they don't want to connect, usually. I think the attempt to reverse engineer community can be complicated because community is made up of relationships, but relationships are fundamentally built on talking. Why are so many of us hesitant to ask for help?

One we often don't see people asking for help, so we think everybody else is doing it on their own, which is a lie. Building real community is not an ideology, it's a practice. BELL RINGS I'm Julie Beck, a senior editor at The Atlantic. building real community is like not an ideology. It's a practice. I'm Julie Beck, a senior editor at The Atlantic, and I'm Becca Rashid, producer of the How-To series. In reporting for The Atlantic, I've wanted to understand how the pressure to be self-sufficient shapes our relationships in ways that we don't always even realize.

To the point that just talking, to strangers, neighbors, and even friends, can feel harder than it should. This is How to Talk to People. Join us for six episodes that explore how to build relationships, and push back against a culture encouraging us to go it alone.

New episodes come out every Monday, beginning May 22nd. push back against the culture, encouraging us to go it alone. New episodes come out every Monday, beginning May 22nd.