HR BESTIES - Giving & Receiving

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

Today’s agenda:  That time Ashley met Beyonce  Cringe corporate speak: Work hard, play hard Hot topic: Performance Reviews  Best practices in giving and receiving performance reviews.  Doesn’t have to be annual.  Don’t sh*t dump on your employees.  Ranking systems and point systems.  Employees - keep a win document.  Check in on your own goals with yourself and your supervisor between reviews. Questions/Comments  Takeaways:  Ashley’s Performance Guide for Managers: https://www.managermethod.com/performance-feedback Ashley’s Performance Self-Review Tool for Employees: https://www.managermethod.com/employee-review Your To-Do List: Grab merch, submit Questions & Comments, and make sure that you’re the first to know about our In-Person Meetings (events!) at https://www.hrbesties.com. Follow your Besties across the socials and check out our resumes here: https://www.hrbesties.com/about.  We look forward to seeing you in our next meeting - don’t worry, we’ll have a hard stop! Yours in Business + Bullsh*t,  Leigh, Jamie & Ashley Follow Bestie Leigh! https://www.tiktok.com/@hrmanifesto https://www.instagram.com/hrmanifesto https://www.hrmanifesto.com Follow Bestie Ashley! https://www.tiktok.com/@managermethod  https://www.instagram.com/managermethod https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyherd/ https://managermethod.com Follow Bestie Jamie! https://www.millennialmisery.com/ Humorous Resources: Instagram • YouTube • Threads • Facebook • X Millennial Misery: Instagram • Threads • Facebook • X Horrendous HR: Instagram • Threads • Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have I told you all about the time that I got to meet Beyonce through work? Oh my God, the Queen Bey herself? Hold on, I'm very jealous. That'd be a terrible story. I was like, no, not that one. The other Beyonce. No, I had come back from maternity leave with my second child, and I was working as a lawyer for a radio company. come back from attorney leave with my second child and I was working as a lawyer for a radio company. And we would sometimes, you know, work on the contracts for things. And so outside of the on the run tour, our radio station was going to have a mechanical surfboard. This sounds like workers comp.

This is like 2014. Well, it's not because I wrote the releases and it was no employees on it. It was all volunteers. So I was... Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah. But I joked and said, I should come on site probably to supervise. And the person had said, oh, my God. She's like, you know what? I've never given you tickets. We actually have some extra tickets.

Do you want to go to the concert on the run? With Jay-Z, her husband, correct? Yes, exactly. Exactly. Beyonce, Jay-Z. I was like, oh, my God. So I and my assistant, we were going to go and have a night. Well, the day of the concert, Our boss said, OK, just casually.

You guys want to go to the meet and greet before the concert? No, just casually. Like, yes. Speaking of casually, for whatever reason, I was like I knew I was going to this concert, but I was dressed like you look like shit. No, I looked like I was in H.R. I mean, so you look like shit. All right. Yeah.

I was wearing like a like a Talbot Yeah. So you were wearing Sag Harbor. I was wearing like a Talbots. Like I was in my 30s. I was dressed as if I was in my 60s. Because you're also an attorney. Yes. Yes. And so, oh my God, I'm so excited. Should I go home and change?

No, traffic's too bad. We live in Atlanta. Which blazer do I wear? Which blazer am I going to shock and awe Beyonce in? More of a shawl, like a cardigan shawl type, type of thing and flats, obviously, obviously. But so my, my assistant and I are going and, and he had said, you know, have fun, you know, and you gotta, you gotta say something good to her. I'm like, I fucking know, I got you. So we went out for drinks. We were, you know, out. And again,

like I could come back from maternity leave, like the freedom when you're, when I was out and had, I could come back from maternity leave like the freedom when I was out and it was like so free. And so we went and my assistant said, do you know what you're going to say? Oh, yeah. So we go and we're, you know, in this meeting where it was only like 15 people, it was not many people. And so we go and we go in the private thing. And so all of a sudden out comes Beyonce. Notably, Jay-Z was not present.

He was like, no, thank you. But she was wearing just the most beautiful human being I'd ever seen, like these jean shorts, like jorts and like a tie-dyed T-shirt. Anyway, so we stand in line. And so here comes our turn. And my assistant comes, you know, like, so, you know, nice to meet you. Well, it's my turn. And like I stared and I go, you're such an inspiration to working moms. And she looks at me and she goes, she was like, oh my God, do you have kids? And despite the fact that I had basically a newborn, shift that, shift him to the side, sorry. I was like, yeah,

I have a daughter who's about the same age as Blue Ivy. She's like, oh my God, what's her name? I told him, oh my God, you should have brought her. I mean, she's saying my daughter's name. I'm like that. And she lit up because of course, like working mom, all of these things. And so, of course, I'm like, you know, winning, like totally cool thing to say. So we go to the concert, like amazing night, awesome concert. So the next day we go back to my boss and he's like, how was the concert? What was it? Yeah, I said, I told her she was an inspiration to working moms. And he was like, I'm sorry. He's like, what are you talking about, I said, I told her she was an inspiration to working moms. And he was like, I'm sorry. He's like, what are you talking about? Like when she's setting up the pack and play at

the Holiday Inn, like she's like doing these things laughing. And I said, well, what would you have said? And he said, I would have said you're very talented and I like your music. No. No, everyone tells her that. That's right. You got to stand out and tell something that comes from the heart. Everything I say comes from the heart. I meant it. So I am curious 10 years later if Beyonce remembers that or if anybody else has ever said that to her. But more notably, we get our picture taken with Beyonce and I'm so excited. And so often the way this worked, because if it's radio company, this would happen. And I'm a total celebrity nut. So like not. So this was, you know, my dream. But so we would, it would take a few days to get the pictures back. So we wait, we're waiting for weeks.

Finally, no, her people did not approve the picture. And so, yeah. Is it because of your Talbot's trousers? I mean, probably she's like, I don't want to be pictured with, like I'm walking into these old ladies, like a benefits meeting, benefits meeting of someone that's like, tell me. Why did HR show up? Yeah, why did HR show up? I look, you know, my flats, I looked ridiculous, I'm sure, but we did not approve it. And so, you know, I swear I met Beyonce. Hopefully she remembers this.

Oh, man, because that would have been frameable. I mean, that would have been like. Apparently not. I would have had that mural. I mean, that would have been like... Well, apparently not. That would have been... I would have had that because Beyonce did not approve. I would have had that mural on the front of my house if I could have. But she was beautiful and she was like so, so kind. And to this day, I say that Beyonce is an inspiration to working moms. I stand by that.

Thank you so much for joining our staff meeting. Just a little hot goss from the water cooler there. Now let's jump on in. I'll get us kicked off the agenda today. We're going to do our cringe corporate speak and I'm going to go ahead and take the ball on that one. Then we're going to move into hot topics. And today's hot topic is all about performance reviews. But mostly best practices, giving and receiving performance reviews, the do's and the don'ts and all the all things. Y'all see typical HR professionals, man. Y'all are so gross. Did she just meow? She said giving and receiving. Yeah. And she's just

so inappropriate. Look at her. But anyway, that's what's on the docket for today. And because we do have a hard stop, because we have other places to be and people to see, as we know you do as well, we'll then, of course, transition into questions and comments at the end. And so I'll get us kicked off with today's cringe corporate speak. And that is, God, brace yourselves. I know everyone hold on to something. I hope you're not driving. Don't run off the road. But work hard and play hard. Oh my God. I just literally threw up in my mouth. I can't believe I'm still talking.

I'm going to have to take a sip of water. Oh man. We work hard, but play hard. Like, what is that? That hustle culture? It means work hard. No, it means you work hard. You work super hard. There is no playing. You work hard. You don't have time to play because you work so hard. Like, what is that? That hustle culture? No, it means you work hard. You work super hard. There is no playing. You work hard. You don't have time to play because you work so hard. Work hard and

some people take illegal substances. That's what I was going to say. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. They're doing your sugar booger and not your sugar booger, but you're not looking at me. I think it's the reverse

from last time. Booger sugar. Oh, what did I sugar booger? That sounds like a cute dessert. But anyway, yeah, work hard and play hard. What I think about, I think about those startups that like try to trick people into working there by saying, hey, well, we'll be working until 10, 11, midnight. But we drink after 5, right? Or after 3 p.m.

We'll start drinking free alcohol. As someone who is a masochist and has worked at several startups, it truly is that environment, too. You really are working 60, 70 hours a week, but then there's alcohol literally in the fridge. So just think about HR in that environment oh my gosh you're working you're working really there's no time for for play i mean no there really wasn't like i'd like you know for me i'm like a work reasonably play to everyone's extent like you know it seems like it doesn't roll off the tongue quite as much yeah but work hard play hard, play hard. Can't put on a t-shirt. Play hard is like four point font and work hard is like

188 point font. In Comic Sans. No. Calibri. Oh my gosh, really? Windings. Mine's in Windings or whatever the hell

that's called, you know? So it's like a peace sign and then like an email sign. And a happy face and a dollar sign and wings or whatever. It's really a laughing face because it's jokes on you if you're going to be playing anything up. Also, do never include work hard, play hard in job descriptions. Do not.

Oh, man. Which is in there? It's, you know, I actually, I literally like met with an organization and during this, the consult, I gave them, you know, free advice as, you know as tends to happen. You're giving things away. And I said, before we get anything, tell me about your organization and what's great about working. We have these boundaries. We cut off. We have great—we kept talking about work-life boundaries. And I'm like, well, I'm looking at your careers page, and it says, work hard, play hard.

Yes. She's like, oh, my God, I never thought about that. And I said, probably not. Again, except for those executive meetings when go through the application. But also, so right now in your executive meeting, we're giving a lot of content for what to do in leadership meetings. Pull up the careers page and look at it. But see things like that. Things like work hard, play hard.

Think about how that sounds to someone. A lot of people are going to be like, that means work hard. Yeah, you sound dumb as hell saying that on a page like that. Yeah, fast-paced. Don't do that. Work hard, fast-paced. Oh, exactly. Fast-paced office environment. You're just alone in saying that on a page like that. Yeah. Fast-paced. Don't do that. Work hard, fast-paced. Oh, exactly. Fast-paced, office environment.

You're just alone in your cube on Zoom. You will be. Make sure you keep your recruiter's contact information because you'll be reaching out to them in about 10 months. Oh, gosh. Well, I think we like to work soft, play harder here. I don't know. I mean, I guess that's...

That is amazing. Agreed. Right? It's something like that. Work soft. Yeah. I mean, I guess that's something like that. Work soft. Yeah. I just like to dabble. I'd like to work dabble and play hard a lot. Yeah. It's something like that, right? Well, try to fit that in if you can today and then just have a little giggle to yourself. You know what I mean? But try to fit in that work hard, play hard with your colleagues

there. I'm sure they will respect you more for you. Go around the room and ask everyone, how hard do you play? Tell me about your hard play and see how quickly you have a lot more work as a guard. Exactly. They love it. Your co-workers will love that. But yeah, it won't get you fired, you know, but well, maybe it will. But anyways, to that point, shifting gears into the hot topic there, everything and anything, all things performance reviews, love them or hate them. They've been around for a long time and they are probably here to stay. There's not any big conversations about those going away anyways that I know of, but who knows? But best practices, right? Since they are here, we got them. We got to live with them. Let's have a conversation about best

practices around giving and receiving. God, y'all are terrible. I heard those snickers. I'm not genius. Yeah, giving and receiving performance reviews. I might turn purple. Oh, gosh. Well, what I would say is it doesn't have to be an annual thing, right? I think it's actually important. What?

I thought that was a law. I think that you could do biannually, but also don't make them as cumbersome as sometimes they are, right? But also don't make them as cumbersome as sometimes they are, right? So, you know, let's say you have some core competencies and let's say you have six core competencies and you expect everyone to write six paragraphs based off their core competencies. Like it does not have to be so cumbersome. But I also think waiting one year to like have a performance check-in is far too long. And a lot of times what I seem to find in being a human resource professional is that managers sometimes save all the shit for the performance review. And so here we are, we're a year into, let's say your new job, you're getting

your performance review and you're finding out all the things that you've done poorly. That's terrible. First of all, feedback should never be a surprise. So, you know, don't use it as a heaping pile to shit on your employee. Use it as a constructive conversation. I like the idea of doing it at least twice a year. Also, you should be having regular check-ins with your team and your staff. Doesn't necessarily always have to be performance-based, but a lot of people are also, their productivity is based off of certain metrics. So always having those check-ins are an easy way that they can measure their own success. Once again, it's their responsibility. But yeah, that's one thing that really irks me is the

shit dump on the employees. Yeah. I was going to say look. You know, look is like an Australian saying that basically means well, which I worked for a leader once that would say look and I would always feel like I was in trouble.

Like, I feel like an idiot because it is in the U.S. or at least for me before. It's like, yeah, the transition. Like, you feel like you're being judged. And you'd be like, look. But look means well in Australia.

So sometimes I say look now and I have to catch myself. Look is aggressive in the U.S. Yeah. Like, look here, buddy. Look. But it is. But it means well in Australia. So sometimes I say look now and I have to catch myself. Look is aggressive in the US. Yeah. It's like, look here, buddy. Look, but it is, but it means well. And so again, one of these things, but so well,

some of this idea of performance reviews and it is a good thing for people to get that level of feedback and having that ongoing conversation is good, but also having predictability. You know, what employees often want to know is when will I be considered for promotion? And it's a little, you know, half and half about, you know, it is

arbitrary. Like you start and maybe, you know, depending on when you start and the review cycle is all these, you know, it can affect, oh, you're not going to be eligible for 19 months because of your start date. And this is our policy and like, okay, well, here I am. But I do think it can be helpful for people to have the expectation of when am I going to be considered and when can I potentially count on this? And so I think having those certain dates can be psychologically helpful, but the review processes can end up doing more harm than good if they are the time, because people will hide those things and they, and managers will like not have a direct conversation, certainly not in the moment. And then they bring it up or something that wasn't a big deal, but a manager's trying to scramble and think about things. And so all

of a sudden these points in their mind, they think about like this typo you made in something months ago, but nobody's, nobody's brought this up. And so, you know, taking a step in for HR teams is to encourage your managers to like, think about what the purpose of this is. It's not just your day of judgment once a year. This is something to give that level of feedback that, you know, everybody doesn't get as often as they should, but it is to help every employee succeed and to understand how they're doing and what they can do in this role and in their career. And so if you remind managers of like, this is really helpful and important, you can at least have that framing. It can be helpful because otherwise it seems like this

mechanism of like, I have to judge and drop my people into these buckets where I'm given two twos, two fives, like a stack of forced rankings. What do you think about that, Lee? Exactly. These forced distributions. What do you think about that, Lee? Oh, gosh. Well, I don't like that at all. Yeah. I agree. I know, right? I mean, I think it's just, I think it's gross, but it's mainly because we have so intricately tied together performance and monies, and those things are really not directly tied together, right? And so that's what kills me

really about performance management and performance reviews is that whole linkage there that we force performance reviews really because we're trying to determine monies, right? And how we budget for things. And so it really, in my experience, is not about career development. And so, so often the conversation in the performance review, it really has nothing positive to say almost, you know what I mean? That's not the focus. It is more punitive. It is more, to, gosh, this was great. This may be, you know, a focus area, an opportunity, right? But it's not bad. Like, you're not bad. You know what I mean? Like, so that's what really irks me about performance reviews is because you get dinged on things that you're not even focused on because they're not important to you for your career and where you even want to go. Right.

You know, or whatever, you know, but they have to force you somewhere in some box to determine monies. And I feel for hiring managers and so many, they do speak up to us as HR professionals

and say, this is bullshit, right? And they do. And it's like, I'm a manager too trying to do my budget. And yeah, it is bullshit. Yeah, you gave me a pot of x amount and i have to spread it across six employees and yeah it's and everyone's great yeah sometimes so then everyone's gonna get a bullshit increase because i don't have yeah and another thing that really

gives me the ick too is like let's say it's a five point system, right? Five being the highest, but no one actually can ever get a five. I hate that. I hate that. Why even have it if it's unattainable? Why? What's the point? And people will talk really open about that too. Yeah. Like I did, I just did a TikTok or whatever earlier this week, you know, it's a manager saying, gosh, you were so great. You were just incredible. You were excellent. But I gave you a meets because I don't believe as the pretend manager on that TikTok, I don't believe in giving anyone more than that because I don't think it's motivating for you to work hard, which I've been told in my career. And I all but said, fuck you. Because that's just so unmotivated. That's not my definition of motivation. We have opposite definitions of motivation.

Yeah. Whose is it? But it's also the category. So you have a five-point scale. Some organizations, and as part of their culture, part of their culture is we want to talk really positively. So what the titles of those are is like a two might be meets expectations. You're giving me the 40% out of 100%, two out of five. I'm really good at math. But you're telling me that speeds. And then, you know, you have these things or it's like exceeds means like they're doing their job. It's like they over inflate things. And so then when you get to, okay, so you're going to, we need to end this person's employment. Let me see their performance review.

Yeah. Well, you know, there's a lot of, well, we were short staffed, so we didn't want to, we didn't want to drive them away. There's a lot of politics. Well, I didn't actually provide them any feedback about how shitty they were doing. I just gave them all meats and moved them forward. It's like, but now you want me to do your dirty work. Well, I tell people, you know, it is a beneficial side of having been in employment litigation and gone through that and seen literally juries and mock juries and seen the way people look at these documents. And if you're getting down a path and the performance review is often exhibit A in the complaint, the jury is going to look at this. And if they're looking at the document and anyone reading this would think, I think this person would probably, they'd be doing at least just fine, if not maybe getting promoted.

think this person would probably, they'd be doing at least just fine, if not maybe getting promoted. And you're then saying, well, really, they're not doing well enough. And we weren't, well, now you're getting an extra zero on that damages award because the people are really pissed that not only could you not hold them accountable, you give them information to make them think that they were doing great. And so some organizations are like, well, we don't want to do performance reviews then because we're just creating a paper trail for ourselves. I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake, come on, just teach people like training, training employees. And so I've done some stuff on telling how managers can work with their teams to teach them or HR or overall how to set yourself up for your performance review, how to think through these things, what to put in your self review, because your manager's not going to remember every good thing you did. It's going back to Jamie's idea, which in one of our first episodes of the season, talking about during a

year or at any point, having this positive information. And so pulling that, kudos folder, positive emails, yay, whatever you call it. But having that and being able to articulate that, because other people aren't going to remember things about you. And so telling employees that and explaining that and also teaching managers how to prepare for their performance reviews for employees and receive their own. And also having that working document that you started in January with all your wins for each month or each week or whatever, whatever those wins are, you know what I mean? And that is something that I started pretty early in my career and I do it every year. And it helps me when I go to write my performance review, right? Because I'm like, what did I do in January? Oh yeah, I have my document. I can talk about my wins. And one thing that's very hard, I think for most people, and I know it is myself, is bragging

about yourself. And it doesn't necessarily have to be bragging, but you really need to make sure that you are telling your wins and also be honest with yourself about what you can develop or what you want to develop or maybe areas of improvement for yourself. But then don't punish people for being honest. Don't punish people for having honest and developing. Don't punish people for having those mistakes and learning from them. That to me should be a quality that goes into it

because people are going to make mistakes. And so if you hold that against them, they're not going to be highlighting that or talking about what I learned. They're going to be afraid to. And so if you're having a really like good performance review, you're having people talk about these things and you're having leaders talk about these things to employees and saying, this is why you're not going to get punished. And like, and really to your point is telling people, like a lot of people go and they feel that way

and saying, it's not bragging. This is about putting yourself in the best light. And sometimes that's natural for people. Sometimes it's not, but think about like the challenges, things you overcame, but teaching this to people. Don't sell yourself short.

I mean, I have a couple free quick guides to help managers. We'll put it in the show notes, things to link, because we do try to be helpful, but to have some of these things. But I say, in an organization, we know for some of you HR teams, especially small HR teams, having some of these resources, use things like ChatGPT. Look at these. Share things that you have to the extent that you can with others. But it really helps the people develop in their careers. Yeah. So Jamie, you know, when you said earlier about how, you know, it shouldn't be a surprise when you go into your performance review, you should not, as the giver of the performance review, as the leader, what you're sharing, it should not be the first time that employee has heard it. But if you are someone that's going to be receiving a

performance review and you don't feel that connectivity with your leader, best practice, my opinion, is make sure that it's not going to be a surprise for you. There is some ownership that you can take in that. You shouldn't have to, but there is some that you can take in that and that you should set up those recurring meetings with your leader, right? You should lean in to that and like every month have some sort of check-in on your goals. You know, a conversation that sounds like, hey, are these still my goals even, right? It could just really be that, but here's what I'm working on. Is this still aligned with the greater goals of the organization and your goals, your department? So you can do a lot of those things. I know that sounds so simple and so trite, but it has been fascinating for me in my career, all the assumptions that I make. And that's a big one,

thinking that managers are having regular meetings with their employees. That is really not consistently happening. I have a recurring with my boss, maybe, but oh my God, everyone around me, they do not. I have, with my direct reports, I have one-on-ones and that's something weekly. And do we have to move around and sometimes cancel them because, you know, fires happen. Yes. But that is so important. It's not only you should managers be having them with their direct reports, but also anyone who you work closely enough with. So, for instance, you know, let's say I report to the CFO, but I work very closely with the COO for operations. A weekly touch point with the COO is also very important, like staffing or FTEs or what we're dealing with that week. So even having

just regular occurring one-on-ones with people that aren't in your direct line. And what can be helpful to get that time is to at least, but you have to meet people where they are. And it's hard because employees hear this and they hear, why am I making up for my shitty leader who can't make time for me

as an understanding? Well, everyone finds themselves in different points in their career and working with different individuals and you get to choose what you do about it.

And so you can just kind of continue forward. You can work within the system or you can, you know, make your best case. And so having that, when you're asking for that one-on-one time, which is common sense and hopefully more people, sometimes bosses will hear that, well, I'm so busy, I can't do it. So meet them where they are and knowing that that one-on-one time will probably benefit you because

you'll get clarity for things. But bringing that in very real terms for your boss, saying, I'd love to get time. I agree. I think weekly, because then you're not like, is this a meeting week or is this not a meeting week or what day of the month, you know, blah, blah, blah. But it's ideally weekly. But to say, if we can schedule that time so that I'm not knocking on your door or trying to get you on teams when you have a million things going on, and I can target as much as possible questions into that time, and I can make sure that what I'm doing meshes with what you're expected to do because candidly like I want to make your job easier and those things people are going to be

like you bootlicker you're talking no no no but you have you if you want to if you're queen if your boss is still going to say no to that then like again these are the signs and go watch more of these videos because she will and Lee can help you Lee can help you to navigate, set up some time. But to think about that, of meeting people where they're sometimes you got to manage up. And even if you're a manager of me, even if your manager is thinking about your boss, how did this person succeed? But getting that time and thinking about ways to make it compelling for them, knowing it will also benefit you. Yeah. And making it easier for them. Right. So that's part of the managing up. To Jamie's point, you may have dotted line leaders,

right, that you support in our COO example. You may have champions and mentors and project partners and you name it. When it comes review time and you have a shit leader or a very, very busy leader, it's totally reasonable to ask those people in your circle to, hey, can you provide some feedback to my leader? Now, the leader should be asking those things. They should be. They should be having a quick phone call. Hey, how did Lee do? I know that she's been supporting you as your client executive or whatever, but maybe, hey, eight times out of 10, those aren't happening.

So you own it. I love that point so much because it's just like business owners. And sometimes you have to, you ask for referrals and you have to tell me, you know, I want to make sure of what I'm doing, but saying that to others and saying, can you give, could you give me that feedback? Like, I just want to, I want to articulate that. And your words, you know, probably carry more than me trying to advocate just for myself. And so saying that, and it really has a ripple effect because then that person is thinking about other situations like that. And I, I really like that quite a bit. Yeah. It helps create that feedback culture, which to me is very important. That's why I do not like annual

performance reviews because to me it stifles that. It stifles that sort of, you know, activity and type of environment, you know, which I think is really important if we actually do care about our talent and where they're trying to go. There are great software out there, and I'm not going to name them unless they want to pay us. All right. Hey, reach out, software. But I have worked with great software that, you know, But I have worked with great software that, you know, really help and they aid because I know, look, I get it. Sometimes we have really large teams. But look, these are very important performance reviews.

The data does show that, and I'll say that. And sometimes you have a budget for it, sometimes you don't. But the extent you have the data shows if you do have like a performance management software that's really dedicated to it, it can like, I can't remember, it's like two and a half, I've just already in this one, like two and a half times the level of performance because of the like, you know, what gets measured, what, you know, happens. But making those conversations easier can help. Ooh, well, I love the conversation today on all things performance reviews. Definitely several key nuggets there. And so let's transition because we do have a hard stop to questions and comments. Does anyone have any questions or comments? and play hard to think about this, to think of a good one.

Oh, I love it. But so speaking of celebrities, you know, meeting Beyonce, what's your, like what celebrity lookalike? What do you get that people say you look like a celebrity? Oh, well, I get Wonder Woman a lot. And I get Linda Carter.

I get Geena Davis. I get Scarlett Johansson, I guess in certain ways. I used to do my hair. I don't know what that, to me, that's a fucking compliment. Yeah. I don't say, I've never said that I look like those people. No, but all of those, I'm like, fuck yes. Right. Thank you. Yeah. So there's a, there's a handful of people. There's a couple,

I can't remember their names, the daughter on Face Off, Siwa. I don't know what her name is, but anyway, Dominique. No, no, not Dominique something. I don't know. But I do get, people see me as a dope, Whitney Cummins. Oh, yeah. She has a podcast. Oh, she has a good podcast. Yeah. Be on our podcast, Whitney.

Love you, Whitney. I know, right? But yeah, so I do get a few. I'm going to be honest. I have not gotten one in probably 20 years. When I was younger, I have naturally curly hair and I didn't know going to be honest. I have not gotten one in probably 20 years. When I was younger, I have naturally curly hair and I didn't know how to straighten it, so I would

get Mariah Carey a lot. I'm talking 90s Mariah Carey with her curly hair. And then, I can't think of her name. I think it was... I can't. It's something Osbourne, but she's saying, What if God... Joan Osbourne? She's from Louisville, Kentucky.

Oh, didn't know that. Oh, really? I love that song. She had curly hair. People were just like, oh, you look like so-and-so because I got curly hair. I'm like, okay, you're going to call me Curly Sue? But that's literally it, which I'm fine with. Yeah, those are good.

What about you, Ashley? Well, about 10 pounds ago i got claire danes but more recently i've gotten carson kress. I don't know. Jesus. I was like, wait, I don't know who that is. And then I like stopped mid-sentence because I'm like, actually, I do know who that is. And I got it, but I got it as a comment. You know, this is why people put shit on comments. Think before you comment. Yes, for sure.

Look at Brene Brown's wonderful, look up Brene Brown's social media comment and look at her wonderful quote that I cannot quote right now, but it's basically like summarize of like, thank you for the people that comment helpful things. So people that are trying to bring you down, go F yourselves, but I'd love Carson Kressley. I do too, and I do see it. She, they comment on my video as if I'm not a- Yeah, like you can't read the comments. Yeah, she kind of looks like Carson Kressley. She kind of. Well, maybe skin, it's just like skin tone or something. I'm pale and I have blonde hair. Yeah, she kind of looks like Carson Kressley. She kind of. Well, maybe skin. It's just like skin tone

or something. I'm pale and I have blonde hair. Yeah, like, ugh. So, well, you know, it's funny you bring up Brene Brown. I love the show. I love him. Well, of course, it's a glow up. She's kind of Brene Brown-y, too. Well, no. Oh, my God. I love Brene Brown. Well, remember, I texted y'all this past week. Yeah, you look like Brene Brown.

Someone said, someone said that I remind them of Brene Brown, like a younger Brene Brown. I completely forgot about that. I texted y'all this past week. Yeah, you look like Brene Brown. Someone said that I remind them of Brene Brown, like a younger Brene Brown. I completely forgot about that. I texted y'all that. That's a great one. And I was like, hold on. That was an insane compliment. That's a great compliment.

But yeah. Brene Brown, come on the pod. Okay. That's a first. I would not have said that. Well, someone did. Well, I wouldn't have, too. People are so ballsy in the comment section.

People are so ballsy in the comment section. Of course, it was like user 412, you know, 37, 37, you know, 100. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. That's funny. Comments and questions? That's really funny. Any questions or comments, Jamie?

I'm still recovering. Maybe I don't look like anyone because my forehead's so big, but that's where I keep all my disrespectful thoughts. And your five head? You don't have a five head. I don't think so. Oh, it fits. You're supposed to measure it? Is that how it goes? Now I'm measuring. Wait, are you just doing this? I just have a big face.

We're putting... You have like three. You have like a normal size forehead. Yeah. I mean, mine all fits, but I got a big face. But a five head. If I squish them. Okay, now everybody's doing the test.

I know, I know. We're all trusting. Post your selfie. Are you doing it in your car? Post your selfie and tag us from Besties with how many fingers you put on your forehead. How many fingers is your forehead measure? Wait until you're, don't do it while you're driving, but in the office, do it in your team meetings. Typical American measurement, right? Okay, yeah, that's right.

I mean, we're like, you know, oh gosh. Imperial. All those funny memes about American measurement. I don't know if you've seen them, but it's like people everywhere else have real measurement. And then we're like, oh, it's like, you know, 20 elephants from here. It's like 30 jaguars high. This is a hundredth of a meter. We're like an inch. Tell me about this mile. It's like 30 jaguars high. This is a hundredth of a meter. We're like an inch.

Tell me about this mile. It's three standing rabbits. No, literally. That's literally how we measure shit. Oh my God. All right. Well, I do not have a question, but I do have a quick comment. Since we're talking about all things feedback, I'm sure we've all had moments where we receive feedback that we totally disagreed with. I know I have, and I actually couldn't take it in that meeting. And I told that toxic boss, you know what? No one ever in my life has ever told me that. And I do not accept that feedback. Now I do. And because she was just full of shit. And what she was doing was a thing called projection. And if you don't know about projection, I'm a psych major, y'all. I'm a huge nerd with that, all human behavior and org behavior stuff. But if you don't know about projection, it's when somebody projects their own insecurities

most of the time onto you. And so when that happens or when that one particularly happened, it wasn't the last time a toxic boss has done their bullshit projection on me. It's very entertaining though when it does happen. It's so obvious to tell that they're doing all but saying it in the first person. That's what's so fascinating. They're giving you this feedback and it's like, wow. Have you had that moment where you received the feedback? You're like, where the hell did that come from? I'm literally the opposite of that. You know what I mean? And that's the? I'm literally the opposite of that. Right. You know what I mean? And that's the point.

You are the opposite of that. They wish they were you. And so they are putting that projection of their own insecurity and their lack of confidence and self-esteem onto you. And so my whole point was sharing that very vulnerably and transparently with you all is that you do not have to accept all the feedback that you are given. Put a gift receipt on that shit. Take that shit back and return it. Do not take that personally. Do not internalize that. Sometimes people weaponize feedback to try to make themselves feel better or, and they hope, they bring you down so they can get closer to your level because they see you as so much higher than them. So do not accept all the feedback that you

are given. Half of it's bullshit to put you in your place. It really is. And I know that that, what a note, right, to end this meeting on. But it's a good reminder that, hey, please protect yourself. That is a form of self love. Put a boundary around that. And if someone's trying to strip something about you that's so beautiful and unique and special, you know, it's your, I mean, it's your, you know, that unique differentiator of yours. Just be cognizant, you know, that people see that as a threat. And so put a ring fence around that. And again, that's a form of self-love to do so. Thank you for that, Lee.

Yeah, it's a good reminder. It is a very, it's a very good and needed reminder that there's people listening that have never heard that and needed to hear it. Thank you. Probably two of us. Right. Oh, gosh. Well, thank you so much for joining this staff meeting. It's just always so wonderful to be together with you all, getting all these important subject matters out into the open. And so we look so forward to seeing you in our next staff meeting.