HR BESTIES - Green Flags in the Workplace

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Today’s agenda:  "I don't commercialize friendships" Cringe corporate speak: Off The Rails Hot topic: Green Flags in the workplace What are some management green flags? Inclusion and acceptance in the workplace Information is power Celebrating an organization's accomplishments Questions/Comments  Your To-Do List: Grab merch, submit Questions & Comments, and make sure that you’re the first to know about our In-Person Meetings (events!) at https://www.hrbesties.com. Follow your Besties across the socials and check out our resumes here: https://www.hrbesties.com/about.  We look forward to seeing you in our next meeting - don’t worry, we’ll have a hard stop! Yours in Business + Bullsh*t,  Leigh, Jamie & Ashley Follow Bestie Leigh! https://www.tiktok.com/@hrmanifesto https://www.instagram.com/hrmanifesto https://www.hrmanifesto.com Follow Bestie Ashley! https://www.tiktok.com/@managermethod  https://www.instagram.com/managermethod https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyherd/ https://managermethod.com Follow Bestie Jamie! https://www.millennialmisery.com/ Humorous Resources: Instagram • YouTube • Threads • Facebook • X Millennial Misery: Instagram • Threads • Facebook • X Horrendous HR: Instagram • Threads • Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So I know we've talked a bit about solicitations in the workplace, but I'm telling you, I think that people that are in MLMs would be fantastic corporate recruiters. Yeah. I mean, it's a skill set. Because they will fucking find you. So, I got personal experience in this. When we first moved to Australia, a very well-known skincare MLM was launching in Australia, and they know what they're doing. Their marketing end. They put up a picture of a koala, a picture of the opera house on Facebook.

Hey everybody, do you know somebody in Australia? Who do you know? Tag a friend of a friend or send this to anybody you know in Australia. Well, I found out about this after I was like, what the fuck? I got in my Facebook DMS. I am not kidding you. Like, and it was literally immediately, we had not been there 20 hours. And I got this thing, I'm in the temporary housing, jet lagged as shit. Like a seven page thing. Hey mate, I have an opportunity for you. And I was like, and then I saw, they just kept coming. Hey girl, I know you from, you're friends with this person. I'll, I'll hey girl. And again, I'm like, you know me, I'm 100%. And I'm like, if you're going to say anything, be like, Hey bud. It was like in total, in just the first few

weeks we moved there, it was literally just having to be like the day would have 186 messages from different people. Holy shit. My Facebook messages or if they, I count it because I was like, what? Yeah, like this is getting insane. And I was like, I was moving with my family across the world. I was exhausted. I'm trying to set things up. I'm, I am not taking on, I have a yes face, which is leads to why people might think this. But also it was like, you know, I also had a job in the U S I was starting, I had like two weeks before I started it, but I'm like, no, I have a job. Thank you. I appreciate this. But I knew almost multiple of the American women I knew that lived there, because everyone, sadly, including me, that

was in Australia, that I knew that was American, was there because of their husband's job. But so, multiple of them all got involved in this MLM. Oh my gosh. And then they were recruiting you? Because in particular, they all lived in the same area. So they were kind of fighting each other. You know, they were, and I was like, they were like the sharks and they're fighting themselves. I'm like the jets. And so I was in an area that there were, were not as many Americans. And so they were like, I'll get my, they'd be like, Hey girl, can we, I'd love to throw a party for all your friends and do these things. And of course I can't

just ignore it or I can't cause I kind of know these people, but I'm like, Oh God. And so anyway, I finally came up with my line that has served me very well since then, which I responded and I said, I totally appreciate it. I'm glad you're doing what you're doing, but I prefer not to commercialize my friendships. Love it. And that worked out very well for me. And it was true. I mean like a lot more words behind it of like, I don't want to be in that position

and have all my brand new Australian friends over who I don't know, who would be like American, like American has selling this American product and all of these things. It just made me very uncomfortable. And so if something in your gut, but in those situations, it's hard because that's, you know, that's, that's the thing. But I will say it really did convince me that these, these situations that people in MLMs and I will say, it really did convince me that these situations that people in MLMs, and I know friends that are in them, but that they should be corporate recruiters because they will- They kill it. ... fucking honey badgers. Honey, honey badgers.

Well, they're hustling. But anyway, that line has worked well for me. So if anybody's ever in that situation and you're not at work, so you can't lean on your no solicitation because you're in life, That's worked well for me. I appreciate that. I don't think anyone's ever asked me to do shit. I'm from an MLM perspective. Because when people in an MLM, and I've been in, they'll make you make a list of like 10, 20, a hundred people that they think would support you. I have to imagine people would know better than to put you on their list.

I mean, I definitely have not gotten 186 in my lifetime. I think I've been asked maybe once, but it was once too many for me. I'm like, I'm all set. I'm on a lot of lists. Really? A lot of people. I don't think I see. Okay.

But you have like a lot of friends and I think Lee and I are like, I have like one good friend. Yeah, well, same. You know, so if he's not asking me to be in a mellow. I just went with the neighbor that asked me. No, stop, stop. I just have a yes face and I've lived in a lot of places. That's my combo, to be honest with you. And you have a lot of friends. No, so anyway, but that situation, I just remember when I kept getting into it.

After a while, I did get a bit snippy with some people and I was like, candidly, like, I don't know you and I wouldn't reach out to you about my business. So I'd ask that you not reach out to me about yours. Yeah. And that cut that off. I think that's really cute how you even replied. Oh, no, you know what I mean? Finally, I was just ignorant and blocked.

Exactly. You got to, right? Oh my gosh. Well, it's like I get Facebook friend and block that whole thing. Exactly. You got to, right? Oh my gosh. Well, it's like I get Facebook friend requests like that. I'm like, do I know this person? And then I look at mutual friends and I'll be like, I mean, I know like a couple. And then I look and I'm like, oh, they want to sell me something.

And I'm like, oh, thank you. Well, like in that Facebook and my personal Instagram is something I've always been very guarded about. Like I think I only have like 200 Facebook friends because I literally keep it inner circle people. That I would genuinely talk, most of actually our family, but I don't for that very reason, I don't care that we hung out one night. hung out one night. And you like, I'm not going to, I'm not like, I'm just not. And I guess, cause I guess I want to keep, especially now that I've been doing social media for almost four years is like, I want to keep my personal life private. Like yes, I might

talk about like my children or my husband, but I'm not, you're not going to be my friend on my private. So you're not going to ask me to join your MLM. No, no. But anyway. I don't even have private socials. Yeah. You're, you're just having a manifesto.

Yeah. So I guess, yeah, I guess I don't even have an outlet for people to MLM me. Yeah, that's good. I'm trying to think, you know, like, why is no one asking me to sell leggings or skincare? Oh gosh, yeah. There's a good documentary. There's a great documentary. Lula Bro One.

Well, my mom did get me a pair of those that last, actually, I just got rid of those recently. I've had those for seven years. They're battery soft. Oh my God. But that document, that document. I never actually owned a pair. It's terrifying. I've had to lay those for seven years, but they're buttery soft. That document, I never actually owned a pair. It's terrifying. But the documentary said that. Terrifying.

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New episodes every Thursday morning. Well, on that note, right, I guess we will transition and kick off this meeting. Quick rundown of our agenda today. Let's see. We are going to start with some cringe corporate speak, and that is going to be brought to us by Jamie. And then we will transition into our hot topic today, which is all about green flags in the workplace. Yes, believe it or not, there are some great things that happen at work, some feel-goods,

some leaders and people just doing wonderful things out there. We have experienced that. So shout out to all of that. We'll talk about some of those things today. And then of course, before our hard stop, we will move into some questions and comments. We got to make sure we get those in before we close before Jamie's hard stop. Jamie leaves us. She's going to the bathroom and then we're like, she left. Let me see you peeling away in the parking lot.

I do love a good Irish exit and Irish goodbye. That is my thing. They used to call me in college, they used to call me Phantom Fro, my maiden name. Oh yeah. Yeah. Because you're just in and out. You're just like... No, I would never say bye to anyone. I would literally like...

I'd be like... Disappear. Yes. Phantom Fro is what they called me. Oh gosh. What a good thing to know, right? Mentally note that about Jamie. Yeah, right.

When I wanted to go home, I wanted to go home. For real. You know what I mean? Yeah, I got that. Yeah, we all do. We all. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't do it. Jamie, kick us off, please. What's our cringe corporate speak? Yeah, so our cringe corporate speak today is off the rails. Oh. So, I know I'm guilty of definitely using this, like, in meetings, or even like when I'm counseling an employee and they start going off the rails, and I'm like, all right, you're going off the rails.

You're going off the rails, bitch. Whenever someone's having an episode and they're not doing so well, it's really a best friend. They love it. You're going off the fucking rails. Really, bitch. You need to calm down. Oh, yeah. That has never worked well for me.

I love that. But also with spouses, it does not work so well for my husband when he's in a dress cycle. Yes, same thing. Husband, take note. My husband has unfortunately told me that. Oh, really? I need to calm down. You're going off the rails? Yeah.

He's used cringe corporate speak on you? Oh, yeah, for sure. But I definitely- But in his defense, I was going off the rails. Yeah. Or someone tells you to take it down a notch. Oh, yeah. I can guarantee you. I go up 75 not rails. Yeah, or someone tells you to take it down a notch. Oh, yeah. I can guarantee you.

I go up 75 notches. Don't fucking try to denotch me. Yeah, I don't know. But off the rails, so let's try to sneak that in to today's episode. It's trains. I mean, it's trains. It's trains. Like you want to stay on track.

Yeah. So you're on a track as a train. Watch it some dark history. Because to me it's like, for real, you know, it's like someone whipped their dick out and like something all dark. You know what though? The origin was from Sir Walter Scott in 1828. He used this in a letter and he said, the Duke of Clarence has gone off the rail completely. And that's it.

So the Duke, they lost their marbles. Yeah. It's kind of the same, right? It is, but yeah, it is. It's trains, which makes sense. It does, right? Because we're on the track and now we're just off the rails, which are train tracks. Or off the chains in my case.

Okay. Off the rails. Yeah. I don't, you know, I don't really use that one. I can't think of a time I have. I've definitely heard it. I haven't really heard it. Well, that's different.

Yeah. That's not, it's the same derails off the rail. Yeah, I know, but it's not off the rails. As a person. Yeah. Generally saying anybody's like, you're not doing what I expect you to do does not work out. You're off the rails.

You just better just like, just pick back up another day. Just circle back on that. Exactly. Yeah, they don't like that. But what do they like? Wonderful transition to green flags in the workplace. I'm wearing a green shirt too. You are. A green HR baddie shirt. Some of the planets. Shout out, right? So, you know, we talk a lot about red flags and our contents, right? I mean, people on social, they like to focus on that. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

And their defense and our defense, it is a lot of what is going on. Here we are. There's a lot of that, you know, but sometimes things go right at work. You know, so I'm curious, you know, kick us off perhaps on, you know, something green that you've seen at work. Do we want to talk about green flags of managers like wonderful manager behaviors? I think any manager that is supportive, and I know I use this a lot, but I cannot tell you how much flexibility is taken for granted in so many places.

And I'm constantly reminding leaders, but having managers that are flexible with me and trust psychological safety. I mean, these are just a few green flags that are probably some of the most important things I look for if I'm looking for a new job. I love it when leaders are like, I do not need to approve your vacation. You take vacation when you need to. Just let me know. Just let me know so I don't bother you.

Love that. To me, that is like the brightest green flag, you know? Literally, just make me aware because I don't want to bother you at all, you know? And so just put it in my calendar, totally fine, always approved. You do you and what you need to do. And I'm totally supportive of that, you know? And the coworkers, I mean, I know I've talked to you previously about when you take vacation, then that's okay. Your leader supports it. But is your leader going to do your work while you're on vacation? Sometimes they will.

And sometimes that's a great trait of a manager if you can help out and do that so that things are less busy. But also as a manager, a lot of people aren't going into management because it can feel so daunting. And so if you have a full workload and then are doing everyone's work when they're taking vacation and all that, it can be overwhelming. And so some of it as a manager is teaching people to say, tell people it's going to be later.

So people don't just feel like they have to work extra before and after the vacation. So they're actually working as much, just not during. But some of that is also those coworkers of like from the green flag of having coworkers that you trust. I mean, I've mentioned a coworker I had where we were both in legal, and again, had access to each other's email. And she would fill in for me and I'd fill in for her. And so, I mean, I went and remember going on vacation and not taking my laptop.

And I tried to respond to something and she was like, girl, I got this. Like, please. She's like, you better not send me anything other than like selfies weren't a thing. They're better than like a picture we were going skiing. And so it was like a four day trip. It wasn't even long.

Like, uh, like send me other than like sending me a picture of the skin and like that, like I will never forget that because like, and I, and I, again, I came back and we caught up on things and she, and she copied me on things or forwarded me things. So I knew, you know, so again, I didn't come back and try to just jump back into the work and there wasn't a miscommunication, but it's like that level, like having the combination of when you've had a manager that supports you and colleagues you can trust and you like enjoy working with those people for me, Ooh, that is lightning in a bottle. And it, but it comes down to communication and trust for me. It's, it's been across all

demographics, ages, all of those things. I think it's the baseline of communication and trust for me. It's, it's going to cross all demographics, ages, all of those things. I think it's the baseline of communication and trust and fostering that within your team. Ooh, magical shit. That is beautiful. And it really does like, you know, leak over to more like morale engagement, right? When you have those, like you feel so much more comfortable doing things with the team, whether it's lunch or events or whatever, right? Like you actually get to a point where it's like, Oh my God, I actually like these people. I want to do things with these people. Like how weird is that? You know what I mean?

Well then I was in legal, which like we, I, we would like joke cause we would like, you know, but like, do we like each other, you know, but like, let's all go look at a good YouTube and like laugh and like we'd be cracking up over something like literally like dumb, but like we'd laugh about that. But also like I was in legal and we'd say like, there's a lot of darkness that comes in. You got to bring the light. But we would also bring that level to the people we worked with.

Like a lot of times people called us really with HR type of questions, but we would have conversations and I wasn't like, well, we can only quote this paragraph of the handbook. I'd be like, okay. And like I would talk much like I talk to you all. And I'd be like, you know, they'd be like, well, this person, I'd be like, okay, well, there's a reason that you're where you are and they're where they are. And they're starting the career. They don't know the things you know and they haven't been enlightened and they're not talking to educated professionals like us. And we're laughing and I'm like, okay, so let's meet them where they are and they'd be like, oh my God. And like at the holidays we would get like, you know, gifts and shit like that.

And we'd be like to just do it. But like all that, what I remember is that feeling of like, we did good work. We had so much fun. We were award winning that department. We won an award. Shout out. Yeah, that's right. But I just remember this feeling of like that exactly bled over into who I was and the level of professional support I brought. And it really, it was phenomenal. It makes a difference in the workday, doesn't it? Because to that point, I remember being so close with a particular HR team in my career

that we would host and lead big events and we would decorate the office like crazy, like Halloween threw up in there or whatever. And we would come together doing those things. Everyone was participating and it was just neat. Typically, there may be onesies, twosies where they don't want to engage. This was just a high-, like the team was in rhythm and in sync and you know, what a, what an awesome office, you know, to actually, you know, enjoy each other like by while working.

What the heck? I know. Like I actually don't mind going to work. I think also, you know, the, the big joke on social media is Sunday scaries, right? But I've had jobs where I don't have Sunday. Like I didn't actually dread going to work. Tell me about that. Like...

Expand, please. Yeah, like... Say more. Say more. You actually, not only do you enjoy the work you're doing, like you feel like maybe you're making a difference or you're making an impact, But you also enjoy the people you're working with. And you, you know, I think another thing is transparency, right? From, I'm talking from the leaders down, right?

And I think those are always the companies that the places that I have felt been the most successful because I have felt safe to be myself. You know, I'm a little bit off the rails. Yeah. Yeah. And I am a big personality and I always have been, and I don't ever want, I don't want to shush anyone for having a personality

and I don't want to be shushed or shunned. So feeling safe to be myself, but have everyone feel safe to be themselves in a work environment. This episode of HR Besties couldn't exist without the help of sponsors like Yahoo Finance. When it comes to your financial future, you think you've done it all. You've saved, you've researched, you've invested all that you can.

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to sign up and save 50% on your first six hand curated bottles plus free shipping. That's t-r-y-f-i-r-s-t-l-e-a-f dot com slash HR besties to save 50% on your first six bottles plus free shipping. Tryfirstleaf.com slash HR besties. Well, I've also, I've been in organizations where I would not say that the leadership had the same type of like fun in mirth that like my department had, even though I was in legal or HR. And at times that can be really hard. And it's really hard, I think, for the leader of that department. I'm like, how do you balance that? And the pressure, am I going to be judged for like laughing and doing these things and treating my team differently?

But I think a lot of times as a leader, one of the things you can do is figure out what can I do within the bounds to like, and I think sometimes people will say, what if you're an organization that has shitty policies? And we've had some comments or things on that about going to God and running and that's what you got to do. And that's always an option and sometimes the right one, often the wrong one maybe. But sometimes it's like, okay, where can we have flexibility? And even in HR, one of the biggest things that I know we've talked about this, we've

all done it, is to influence, to change policy, to show why things don't make sense. And there's a lot of ways you can do that from that business sense. But sometimes it's even saying amongst your team of like, all right, this is what we're, this is what we're going to do. And having that manager, like I love, um, I love when people talk about like retail managers in particular that will say like, there may be somebody from corporate that's coming. That's like, you know, that visit and they'll say, and they'll say, what am I going to do? They'll say today, like we are doing things and there's times where we like this corporate policy

doesn't make sense. And I can't, I can't influence this. We don't have to do it today. We're going to have to do it. And we're going to have to, and today I'm going to, you know, we're going to have, but like I got you and I'll influence what I can. We're in this together. Yeah.

And having that. And so I think a lot of times those field based environments, like you really have a lot of opportunity to do what it takes and telling your team like, okay, look, today we're going to need to like stand a little bit straighter, you know, just to we all stay employed and get that bonus. But it's like finding what you can do to flex things a little bit and give some of that grace and space. Yeah. I'd say a big glaring parade of green flags for me, you know, our organizations, because

I'm thinking about the green flags and places I've worked before, those that put resources, time, effort, definition around communications. That is so important because I've been a part of a lot of toxic workplaces, a ton of toxic workplaces and departments and teams and whatever. And I can always connect that toxicity back to the lack of information, right? It always comes back to that. And in the absence of information, what do people do?

They assume the worst and they start gossiping. They start filling in the blanks. They start weaponizing and they start weaponizing, and they start weaponizing gossip, and then they're hoarding information. But it's all around information, because really information is power, right? That is so not cliché. That's literally the truth, and that is collateral and currency in a workplace, right? And so green flags, you know, and some of the places that I've worked are those where you really feel this

connection to the leadership. They're out there. They're boots on the ground, to quote a previous Cringe speak. They're connecting with employees. They're present. They're approachable, like as all get out, right? And they're doing things like, you know, all hands, newsletters, emails, like, you know, they're just, you could ask them anything. You know that there's some authenticity and genuineness in their answers. And no one has to guess what's next for the business. Everyone knows what the business even mission is or the, where we're going goals wise. All that shit is so important. Otherwise everyone's just making everything up and then they're weaponizing it like crazy to get ahead. I think that's also super important for HR professionals. You said, oh yeah, I think

that's why I've been so successful at my roles is because I am authentic. And I think that's when you gain the trust of employees, you know, and we know, we understand that HR is demonized. You know, we still hear it daily on our TikToks and our social media channels, but there are good ones out there. And we try to be authentic and we truly are there to be employee advocates. Those are the big green flags too, is when you have any HR issue is having to really

feel like your issue will be taken care of because that person listen, you feel heard. I had someone earlier this week come in and, and, and they were upset and they were venting to me. And I said, you know, I really, I stopped her and I said, Hey, I just really want you to know, I really appreciate you telling me this. And she started to cry. Like she didn't feel like she could tell anyone this piece of information. I'm like, no, I'm serious. Like I genuinely appreciate it because I can't fix no, I'm serious. Like I genuinely appreciate, because I can't fix it if I don't know. Yeah.

It is so true. And it takes so much, like the trust you establish by having this genuineness of character. Look how far that goes to where someone felt safe to come to a scary office upfront or wherever to talk to HR, which is stereotypically scary. Yes, which is scary. You set up a meeting with a big old bad HR. It's huge. That's a major green flag that she felt safe to do that. Yes.

Yeah. Kudos to you. The last one I can think of is really autonomy, which is about making decisions to do things. That guy has bookended on two things. And one, that guy's book ended on two things. Before that, you have to have the training to know- Of course. Well, training, communication, to tell what's expected of you. What does your job entail? What are your goals at the end of the day? But then also being able to go and plan your

day and do things and make decisions and be able to ask for help when you need it. Get that feedback so that you may get those pointers that you may not be seeing, that feedback that you need without micromanagement. But then also when you do something, if things go right, oh my, this is great. The celebration of that. How can we spread this around? And then things go wrong, which they will sometimes.

The feeling in the pit of your stomach shouldn't be worse than what really is happening. And so that like, it's okay. I mean, I've had that conversation so many times with people that I've been managing. And the best thing I've had is people generally, when they make a mistake, they come to me and we talk about it and they're not afraid. Exactly. Because they know I'm likely. And just knowing, okay, all right, that's all right.

We'll learn from it. There's financial ramifications. Like, you know, we will figure it out. We're going to figure it out. Yeah. But you know what? It's also a lot less ramifications than we'd have if you never did anything at all. And so I just think that that autonomy and trust, giving those boundaries, there's so

many things. And you notice in the theme on these, there's a lot of things. We're not talking about budget and resourcing. These are things that are completely free for people to do. And so bringing some of those in, it can be hard. And if you've been a leader and you haven't been doing these things and you're, you've seen managers not doing that, you know, it's, you can't flip it all overnight, but, but working on these things, I just think creates places that people

want to stay and do good jobs. Yeah. Like you mentioned a word there that I think is another big green flag and that's celebration. You know what I mean? Taking the time to actually enjoy successes, wins, celebrating, having some levity with the gratitude and appreciation back. That is a massive green flag that a lot of organizations, sadly, they do not take time to do. It's like, oh, yeah, we got this $50,000 million, $1 billion deal, good for us, and let's just keep on going. Gosh, what

about all the people that made that happen? You know what I mean? There's a four example. There's a four example that was a couple of months ago where they hit whatever billion in revenue. They sent everybody a stale sugar cookie. And on one semblance, you know what? It was better than nothing. True. Yeah. But. But.

Yeah. It's when you have that level of target, and again, there's a ton of, but like having it and being that genuine levels of recognition and it's... Because one of the things I've seen lately on social media, and we talk about this sometimes, it's like, you know, pay people, pay people. And compensation is fair compensation and is really needed at work, and incentive compensation and paying people. But rarely can you pay someone enough to compensate for a workplace where people feel worse about

themselves by working there. And pay is not the only component of a job. And everybody and also, you know, we have things when people say, nobody at work wants anything other than pay. Well, that's actually not true. That's not true. And in saying that comes from, I've seen leader people that have been in leadership positions saying that I've made videos talking about that. I think that comes from a place of privilege. That's also not realizing there are people that have their identity in what they do, not their identity, but they take a lot of pride in it. And for them, they want to have

an experience where they feel good at work. And the choices shouldn't be to get paid or get respected. You should be able to do both. And some people want to take part in the things like the celebrations and have like the food, like talk about, building that sense of community. Like your life, work is a part of your life. And a lot of times people can choose to make that aspect of their life a really good one where people remember that. So yeah. A green flag is connection.

Yes. It is beyond pay. It's really a connection, right? I mean, because that's what what inspires great work, you know? And it gives people purpose and the opportunity for impact. People really do want connection. They don't want to work, make a ton of money in isolation, you know what I mean? Without guidance or a goal or whatever, you know?

And so that is really key. But that is a huge green flag when an employer can provide that. Yeah. But do not make me do it after work hours. Celebrate me while I'm getting paid for this shit. You know what I'm saying? I agree. But some of it is also having some of those opportunities for things, but having an option, but truly optional so people don't feel pressured. Some of these things, but having an option, but truly optional. So people don't see it. Feel pressure. Like some of these things, like I know teams I've seen that have had like parties and they'll have like a red carpet and sometimes they're, they're, they're their partner,

their spouse comes along and they dress up and there's people that that is, or you have like the weekend, like the weekend, like people, like this video, I said, people don't want to do carnivals. Well, you know what? I've actually been to amusement parks and people take their kids and they love that because then their kids see the coworkers kids and they may see them, they see them twice a year and these kids are running around, they consider them friends. And I've seen the value that those people have, oh, we'll just pay people more so they can arrange themselves. Well, they're probably not going to do that. But, and so you can, sure, pay people appropriately, but also those events, there's times when that can be a real moment for people. So having

that optional to have no, no, no touch at all on people's promotion or things like that, but it's discounting the value of that is, is a huge mess. It's like when the, when the companies that have the happy hours that are like, you know, you're voluntold to go to happy hour, but I've got to get all the way back to my part of town before six o'clock when daycare closes. I can't go to voluntold happy hour time. Totally agree. But yeah, I can think of a company I worked for where we did an employee picnic on a Saturday or Sunday, and we would provide each employee four tickets to a water park.

And we had a common tent that you could all put your shit down. And we had a buffet that ran for two hours. But you weren't forced to interact with anyone. You would come eat your lunch, but really everyone and their families were going having a day. Yeah. And that was honestly perfect because it was, it was a day that families could all come together and you could interact, but you also didn't have to. And you got food for it. And that was, I've done that at sports like sports games like that. And when they have an everybody, it's not just, I don't like it also when it's like only the

senior leader. Oh, sorry. So when you have things, and so this was open to everybody truly and their families, but we were like a huge, like sweet thing at the Braves game and like, like pay people. And okay, well, I'm, if I, even if I got paid however much that costs, like I'm not going to spend my money on that. But when we went, same like my colleagues and their kids and yeah, it was a total blast and I chose to do that And I think it's great other people may not but yeah

I just think people also times people you can tell when people have had really shitty work environments when they're like you can't trust anybody Yeah, never want to see my co-workers at like I don't want to do anything at work ever with any of my co-workers And I can understand completely why people would say that but I think when people are in that situation where for the first time they have that connection and trust at work and enjoy what they're doing, it can absolutely change your life. Yeah. And it all starts with one step. So it's like you have to, you know, so if you're out there and you're listening and you're like, gosh, well, I did something and it was a big bomb and everyone was just like,

why didn't you just give us this or why didn't you just, you know what, just, just try it again. Right. I mean, you warm them up to this? Or why didn't you just, you know what, just try it again. Right? I mean, you warm them up to this, you know what I mean? Like you keep going, right? Keep inspiring people, keep trying to build that connection, right? Keep appreciating, keep showing gratitude,

even if they're not showing it to you, because there is someone whose lives you did change. The kids and the family that would never be able to get to the water park, would never be able to get to the water park would never be able to carve that time or that payout or whatever. You gave people experiences and feelings that meant a lot. Pat yourself on the back. Don't let that one person that was like, I hated the food, because there's always that person. So, do not worry about that. You know what I mean? Please, don't let that deter you from continuing to create green flag experiences in your workplace. Those green flag experiences are totally worth fighting for and doing, regardless of the

naysayers in the bunch. So it'll be okay. It'll work out. There'll be a whole bunch of people loving it and never having whatever opportunity or experience that you're providing there. So kudos to you if you're a manager or an HR person out there that's investing your time in those things.

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FedEx, where now meets next. All right. Well, gosh, I just feel like so uplifted after a green flags conversation. Oh my God, I spend most of my time in the red flag space. I feel like a winner. Teaching people how not to be. Yeah, I definitely do.

Oh, well, to that point, let's transition, because we do have a hard stop to some questions and comments. What do we got? I was actually, I had a question but I feel like it might bring us down. I was gonna ask, what is your biggest red flag? Not necessarily for that you've experienced per se, but what would you say is your biggest red flag in a company? Yeah, you know, I've shared a lot of my red

flags, but I'd say, you know, just kind of a funny one, kind of a cheeky one, is I worked at an organization and it was remote. And so, for the first time, I got to visit the workplace. And when I visited that workplace, the headquarters, for the first time, I noticed that they had an employee of the month wall. And I thought, how great is that, that there's an employee of the month wall. And I thought, how great is that, that there's an employee of the month wall until I looked more closely and it was the CEO's picture and every single month on that wall. What? Ain't no fucking way.

Yes. I promise I have photos of it. And that was him because sociopathic narcissist, just, you know, being a cheeky fuck, just a very rude cheeky fuck. You know what I mean? So yeah, we didn't really get along. We didn't really go far and nor did he. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it so perfectly. And honestly, I worked at places where we've had employee of the month and, you know, all

the nominations get put up, but the person who actually picks them is the fucking CEO and she has her favorites. Yeah. See, I was surprised that you even had nominations for that process. I was like, well, typically it's just a leader picking. I'm not a huge fan, honestly, employee of the month. Well, they always, we deserve it because they always leave. It was like the treasure.

Exactly. It was like we had four in a row where the people left them. Yeah. Oh, geez. I'm not a huge fan of them. I like it personally. But for years, the same person. Yeah. I like it for the first time.

As long as he thought it was funny, I guess. Gross. My red flag is the phrase, this isn't a nine to five. Disparage, a nine to five. We get interviews and people, well, this isn't a nine to five. Well, okay. What is it, a 45 to five? Yeah. How's my,

I don't like what this is because to me that, that tells me a lot about your respect for work life boundaries in a way that, you know, all of that. So I don't like, I don't like it. So if you, people say that, which I think, think about, okay, why not? What's the problem with that? Curiously. So I think this one is a hard to spot it, like per se in the process. You have to be already unfortunately employed with companies like, but to have a micromanager. Yeah. Oh God, that's really the worst. I mean, what a, like who's stalking your team status. It's like, you know, they get messages to him and call, did you get my email? Yeah. How'd you do that?

Why would you do it that way? That always- That's terrible. It's a real buzzkill, you know? Yeah. What do you got, Ashlyn? I was just wondering, like a good work event that you did, like an interesting work event that you went to.

We used to do, back in the day, a different employer, another employer, rent out a water park. A very big water park, famous water park, I think the largest in the world, or it's up there, Schlitterbahn in Texas. But yeah, it's huge, it's massive, and it's expensive. We'd rent that out for the day and just have the entire company there, which was a six figure sort of event. And of course, to the previous conversation, people were like, oh, well, why can't we all

just get $500 bonuses? Well, actually, you all do get that too at the end of the year. But we are about trying to create connections and experiences and opportunities for people. And there would be employees crying, right? People with eight kids, they would never have access to that. Literally, grown men crying. Thank you so much that I got to gift my family this. It makes me tear up.

It is, but it's true. I remember to this day, I've told you when I grew up, both my parents finished their bachelor's because we were not doing a lot of things like that. And when we got to do something, even a a minor league baseball game, you know, something like that or see them, like it's, it is, it is a, it is a big win for sometimes your kids to see that and see how you're respected or here. And if you're a leader, when you see your family members at those events, tell your, tell your employees, kids something you're proud of about their parent.

Oh my God, I have tears. I saw that saying my dad had just retired recently and people talked about the things that he did. It was amazing. I know. So it gives that opportunity for that. And it's creating connection, connectivity between employee and their families that are the most meaningful most of the time. So their workplace and their workplace and it's making it personal and this is called

psychology. Okay. I bring my nerd background here. It's a thing and it's worth investing in. It absolutely is. Absolutely. Oh yeah. It still makes me tear up though. and it's worth investing in. It absolutely is. Absolutely. Oh, yeah.

Still makes me tear up, though. So I had worked at a radio company and I'm a huge fan of the band A Wall Nation. They sing sale like that. Yeah. And I on two occasions had tickets to their concert and didn't get to go. One, I had tickets and I get my wisdom teeth out. Oh, I was all fucked up. Couldn't go. The second I went, I had tickets, went to the concert. My friend, tried to go in, I bought them on StubHub and they were

like, no, no, these tickets were already scanned. I later found out from StubHub, they're like, no, you should have told, called us, we can get you into it. But the people at the door didn't tell me that they're like, these are fake tickets. I'm like, I literally bought them on StubHub and StubHub actually did a very nice job of making it right. And so if you ever have this happen, call your ticket broker. Anyway, but I was so bumped. And so I talked to this guy work and I was like, I'm a huge fan. And so he was, so one night he was like, Oh, we're going to do this work dinner. Um, I'm like, okay. And he's like, all right, meet here at the bar. So I go and I hadn't realized. Um, so I walk up into this bar and he's

sitting there with Aaron Bruno, who's the lead singer of a well nation and a well nation was performing in Atlanta at this, at this like, and it wasn't like a AWOL Nation festival. It was like a, it was like a Atlanta festival. It was like an Atlanta festival. So I hadn't realized like whatever. And so I, we were at the bar and so of course he's like, this is our lawyer. And of course I like, I don't know if it would have been a lawyer or HR. I mean, just say I'm a marketing or like an intern or whatever. But we sat there. And so we had less of an awkward conversation as I was afraid.

But it was awesome. So I have a picture with him. And then we went to the concert. We got to go see the AWOL Nation concert. And I love AWOL Nation. And so that was, to me, which is like a work of art. Just very thoughtful. And he knew how special that was.

That is very cool. That is totally thoughtful. That was very thoughtful. I know. I like that when people pay attention. Yeah, exactly. Because I'd been in his office and he knew I'm a big music person. Give any of y'all full strength to let me meet Little Kim. Yes, I'll do whatever it takes.

You're Megan Thee Stallion, please. Oh gosh, I know, mentally noted. Yeah, Lee will do that. She's good at the mental notes. Let me slide into some DMs. All right, well, we're going She's good at the mentalities. Let me slide into some DMs. All right, well, no questions for me, but just a couple quick comments.

The first is, obviously, we're talking about events. That's a great question. Show appreciation to the people that are organizing and coordinating the events. Spoken as someone who has done that, it is actually a shit ton of work. And I can see people in my mind shaking their heads. Yes. I hear so much of the negative and this is what went wrong. You just keep it to your fucking self, okay?

Or roll it in some sugar with your feedback. Don't just bitch. Give something constructive. You know what I mean? Because people, you know, this is part of our livelihoods, right? We build experiences and connections across the entire employment journey. And so, when you're degrading and when you're a big dick like that, boy, does it actually sting and it hurts. And I've had colleagues cry and I just feel, oh gosh.

Just give some shout out and appreciation for people doing some of that on your teams because it is definitely... It's a lot of work. It is so much work. It takes months of planning. Yeah, months and months, almost a year sometimes depending on the event. It can be a lot. The other quick comment that I had is if you do see and recognize green flags in your workplace, call them out. Because then they will perpetuate. Reinforce it and give it

some love. Be like, oh my gosh, what a green flag. Look at you. We always talk about red flags, but what a green flag. Please continue that. Love that behavior for you. Yeah, love that. I mean, and that's culture. Culture is just a collection of accepted behaviors. And so when you start reinforcing all the good things, then you will see the returns of the good things. And it is a beautiful thing when you see the returns of the great.

And so that will come. You can build that green flag workplace you've always dreamed of. I love that. Awesome. I love that for us. What a positive, like, oh gosh, you know, feel like I'm a little on a little cloud. Come back next time.

Yeah, next week on HR Besties. The worst thing, you'll never believe. You'll never believe what happened next. Dum dum dum. I love that segue. That's beautiful. And to that point, we'll head off to our next meeting so that you can too. Thanks for joining us.