HR BESTIES - HR Besties: HR Horror Stories... The Unhinged Files

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Welcome back, Besties! With the year coming to an end, we thought we'd highlight some of our most insane, unhinged and *facepalm* moments as HR professionals. Today’s agenda:  Toe sucking Flying dentures Nightmare startup Love square When HR saves the marriage Bovine piss The hidden Plan B The vaccine checker Ear licking Your To-Do List: Grab merch, submit Questions & Comments, and make sure that you’re the first to know about our In-Person Meetings (events!) at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.hrbesties.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow your Besties across the socials and check out our resumes here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.hrbesties.com/about⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  Subscribe to the HR Besties Newsletter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://hr-besties.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ We look forward to seeing you in our next meeting - don’t worry, we’ll have a hard stop! Yours in Business + Bullsh*t,  Leigh, Jamie & Ashley Follow Bestie Leigh! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@hrmanifesto⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/hrmanifesto⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.hrmanifesto.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Bestie Ashley! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@managermethod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/managermethod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyherd/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://managermethod.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Bestie Jamie! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.millennialmisery.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Humorous Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Threads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Millennial Misery: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Threads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Horrendous HR: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Threads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tune in to “HR Besties,” a business, work and management podcast hosted by Leigh Elena Henderson (HRManifesto), Ashley Herd (ManagerMethod) and Jamie Jackson (Humorous_Resources), where we navigate the labyrinth of corporate culture, from cringe corporate speak to toxic leadership. Whether you’re in Human Resources or not, corporate or small business, we offer sneak peeks into surviving work, hiring strategies, and making the employee experience better for all. Tune in for real talk on employee engagement, green flags in the workplace, and how to turn red flags into real change. Don't miss our chats about leadership, career coaching, and takes from work travel and watercooler gossip. Get new episodes every Wednesday, follow us on socials for the latest updates, and join us at our virtual happy hours to share your HR stories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

toe sucking all right now personally i've never had my toes suck that i can recall but i went to estate school so i can't remember everything okay but toe sucking not kink shaming right so if you're listening to this and you're like okay she's kink shaming me absolutely not i'll try anything a couple times all right so absolutely not kink shaming whatsoever but toe sucking in the workplace on company time without consent. Thoughts. Oh. I mean, y'all are having a reaction, right?

I mean, what the hell? No better EHS campaign that I could think of. You know, wear your steel toes, not to protect your toes from injury, from machinery, but literally from your co-workers sucking them off. Was that sneaking under the cubicle? Yeah, like I have so many questions. You have so many. So get this, right?

Imagine. Your female employee goes into the break. room, you think you can get peace, right? No, women can't get peace anywhere, okay? Like, full stop, not even in your break room and your place of employment, okay? So she should have known better. All right. Victim shame, victim shame. Oh, my God. Bless her heart. Just trying to have a sandwich for lunch. Sits down, okay. Some other employee, male employee, hiding under the table. A peekaboo. A peekaboo. A peekaboo. A peekaboo. A peekaboo. A peekaboo and a lickato, right? It's, oh, it's a twofer. What the hell? So he's hiding a peekaboo. A peekaboo. A peekaboo. He loves feet. A picatoe. A pictoe. It's a twofer. So he's

hiding under the lunch table, just scoping out victims. First off, could you imagine, like, doing that? Like, I could never imagine even just crawling on the floor at work. It's palsy. I have a vivid imagination. That is outside the scope, thankfully. Oh, my gosh. Like, who does that? Because you know how the floors are. He was waiting. He was waiting, and he's there just viewing. She sits down to eat lunch. A reasonable thing to do, it's lunchtime. And he grabs her foot and sticks it in his mouth. Did she kick him? I imagine, right?

I know I would. I know I would. She didn't enjoy it. Let's put it that way, right? It got reported up, thank God. As it should. As it should. But who the hell does that?

Do we need safe words at work? I mean, seriously, mine's yellow just for the record. Mine's yellow for the record. Yellow, you know, I mean, but it's like, oh my God, bless her. Bless her. Can get no peace nowhere. hope he got fired. What the else? God, last chance. Last chance. Because it was an accident that her foot ended up in his mouth. He was just down there looking the floor is a kink. He wasn't meaning to put a toe in. Oh, my God. She's the one who dipped it in. But I just don't want to pay you like that. I don't want to pay you for that in the workplace. And that seemed reasonable. You know what I mean? Like, you know, and of course did the argument as well, it was break time. Oh, my God. Like, come on. No, that's a bad argument.

That is a horrific argument. That is the worst argument. I was clocked out. I was sucking toes on my own time. I was suck. This is my toe sucking time, damn it. This is my toe sucking time. That is literally arguments we hear in the workplace, is it not?

Literally. Oh, God. This is actually a bestie story that was sent to us. Fun. Yeah. So let's dive in. In my first HR job, I was an employment manager for a hotel. A national chain turnover was through the roof. I myself have worked in hospitality and I can

confirm. That was Jamie and that is true. We were a three-person HR shop and I was the middleman, of course. My boss was the director and she was out of town on this particular day. The director maintenance calls me and says that one of his maintenance employees, a second shift employee, showed up reeking of alcohol and was visibly impaired. I get it. My boss would have normally handled this on this day, but of course it fell to 25-year-old me to sit on this employee's termination. The maintenance director called the employee into our meeting and proceeded to explain that it was clear he had been drinking and that it was not acceptable for him to show up in the state. The employee acknowledged that he had been drinking, but argued it wasn't enough for him to be

impaired. He had only had a six-pack. Per of points. Six-bure limit. At some point, I piped up and quoted the company policy mumbo-jumbo. He got irritated with me and in an effort to prove that he did not have too much to drink, he exclaimed, you think I'm been be smelling all like this? And he reached into his mouth and pulled out his set of false teeth and flung them across the table at me. Dodging dentures indeed. I dodged the teeth and that pretty much sealed the termination deal.

happy to say that was a once-in-a-lifetime career event for me. Oh, my, let's hope. One should, well, I will say, worse is enough. Well, when you said sit in on the meeting, and for a second there, I thought you said sit on the employee. And I thought we were going in a different direction. No, ma'am, no ma'am. It's, it really is, it's like it's the cover-up, not the crime, right? It's when you're having the conversation, I mean, admitting to a six-pack is probably grounds to terminate, even in California, probably.

But it's that cover-up. It's the reaction to it. The throwing of the teeth just did it. Well, I just find it insanely interesting that that's what he thought was going to be his out to this termination. Smell my piece. Oh, my God. That was your out? He was probably hammered.

His decisions were very impaired. He couldn't get a hotel room clean to save his life. Oh, my God. And that was the evidence. Stinky teeth. Stinky teeth. I have a story from an HR Besties listener. who this listener thought that we would love this story. And actually, she corrected and said,

well, probably not love, but it's one of those HR nightmare experiences. So in her previous role, and I'll just switch to I, I was head of people for a startup, red flag number one. I know. And those who have been in that role will know. I was on maternity leave with my first child, which was six weeks that I had to lobby for. When I got a call from some of my department heads, that the CEO had announced company-wide layoffs, which is quite the surprise when you're head of people and you're on leave and you find out after this happened, right? As the HR Bestie I am, I emailed the CEO and COO that I would like to come back early from leave if they were going to do layoffs to aid the teams and put together severance packages.

I think this HR bestie is Jamie, right? Oh, my God. The CEO then set up an eight-minute meeting with me. Eight minutes. That's all they had. eight-minute management and laid me off. Instead, with no severance, no insurance. Well, she was out on leave. No insurance continuation. And truly no empathy for the breadwinning four-week postpartum mother that she just shocked with the news. That alone is a nightmare,

but then the CEO proceeded to lay off other staff members and go to a conference to speak about how the company had to eradicate the toxic cancers of the organization. Oh, my God. When truly, all layoffs were high-performing employees. Not done yet. After ramping up my social media presence in my job search, I had the COO reach out to me, stating that my stance on social media is geared too much toward employees

and not enough about how CEOs can optimize workforce costs and use AI in place of HR. Oh, get the fuck out of here. Thankfully, I am now employed with a progressive company who believes in my employee experience mindset, but I'd love to bring attention to this toxic workplace. Blue skies, bestie. Oh, screw them. There you go.

We put them on the pod. We put them on the... We put them on blast. And we don't name names, just because we don't have it. We don't have the name. But when I read this one, this one just stuck out because this has happened, I'm sure, to some of you all. So we've all heard of love triangles, right? Sadly, yes.

Have you heard of love triangles in the workplace? Yes. Right? Sadly, right? Yeah. Have you ever heard of a love square? I haven't, but I feel like I'm about to, and I'm getting my coffee and putting some bailey's in it.

Right, exactly. Oh, my God. So this is my first love square. But at a previous employer, God, get this hot goss, right? This is like some real water cooler shit right here. Four employees, that's what makes it a square, obviously. They're sitting at the corners, right? A rhombus?

Exactly. A rhombus, right? I mean, a trapezoid. It's a love trapezoid. I don't know, pick a shape. But crazy. I mean, people are freaking tripping. They're crazy.

So get this, all employees. One is the manager of the department. Okay? One is the manager of the department. Already. I'm just like a... I know, exactly. He is having an affair with one of the employees on his team.

Okay, that's two. She is sitting outside his office. Next to her is her husband, who also works at the business in the same department. Not the same team, same department. That's three. Like cubicle across from her. Okay. Just right there.

Plain second. Nobody. Okay. The fourth, who's the fourth? Nobody. The fourth is the manager, his wife, the finance leader. So these two, manager and employee are having an affair. Their spouses are right there in the building.

And everybody knows except them. Wow. Like it's a thing. Everyone's talking about it. You know what I mean? And it was a actual thing. That was happened. How did you learn about it?

Everyone was talking about it. Yeah, the water cooler. People will run. She gets a run fast. They're bringing it up, you know, and then you're watching behavior. What are you going to do about this? Oh, I know. What do you go?

Oh, my God, what can you do? Oh, gosh. What are you going to do about these grown-ass adults behaviorally? Oh, I know. Oh, gosh. Well, I think I was moving or switching jobs at then, so I got out of that. I know. So I didn't do injection about it.

Good luck with that. I know. I'm going to wish them well. As many details as I can to use it on a podcast one day and potentially social media. But anything else? Oh, my gosh. Can you believe that? That's brazen.

Yeah. Wow, with him. That is brazen. Also, think of, like, why does everyone's spouse work there? Okay. Okay. Well, it is. I mean, honestly, if people are working together, they're living together.

It's a setup. It can be a problem to set up. Normally, you think they'd look elsewhere, but I guess if they're glancing across the cubicle, So someone's going to be looking really good if you're tired of your spouse. My gosh. Well, I guess there may be the person that was married, maybe there was a power dynamic that her husband, if he was in a cube, but her boss had an office, then that level of power was very attractive to her because having an office is the real prize in corporate.

Oh. Yeah. Well, those two got divorced, the Cubies. Okay. The wife that was having an affair, that her husband, they got a divorce. don't know what happens to the leaders. It's probably for the best. Oh, I know. Well, you have to let us know after we record, we'll fight out. We'll go. We'll dig in the family court records and find out. What we need. I wonder if that's why, this is a really fucked

up statement. But I wonder if that's why boomers want to go back into the office so they can have mistresses, mistresses. That's quite the word. Okay. That's his option. It's powerful. That's the answer on family food. We'll see how many that gets from the crap. Oh, isn't that fun? So the square. I had a square. The square. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I saved a guy's marriage?

No, do tell. All right. So, of course, it was open enrollment. Of course. And, of course, I was calling everyone who hadn't yet enrolled that was previously enrolled. Chase. Look at you. I know.

I was kind of a superstar when I was in the benefits department. But I called in. And I called this man and he answers and he's like, hello. So then I, of course, start fucking whispering. And I'm like, hi, is this so-and-so? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, hey, I just, I wanted to let you know that you haven't completed your benefits enrollment. And this is the last day to do it.

And he was like, I'm in the dare blind. Can we call you back? And so I was like, of course, sir. Okay. So I really did the key call back. Yeah. And I had a list. So I was very young.

This was early in my career. My first job out of college, and I worked for a large farm chain, which, by the way, best job I've ever had. And so I really did not expect this man to call me back. But sure, sure shit, he did. And so I was walking him through, getting his benefits enrolled, and got him all, him and his whole family of like 28 kids. Of course. And we're going down the dependent lengths. And I see that his wife's birthday is that day.

And I was like, holy shit. Well, of course, I didn't say that. I was like, hey, your wife's birthday is today. I probably said that to him. Yeah, probably. He was like, oh, shit. And he slaps his hand on his desk. And he goes, I got to go down to the Walmarts.

The Walmart. The Walmart. And it's plural. That's a big town. Yeah. Well, yeah, they have a Walmart. The one. Yeah.

Walmarts. I got gotten to the Walmarts. So not only did she get her whole family enrolled in health insurance for the next year. But I also got her a birthday gift, so I saved his marriage that year. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Congratulations to me on that one. Did he send you some venison? So unfortunately, I did not get shit from that. Of course not. Not even a good job. Seems like a miss. No, so typical HR professional. Yeah, yeah, he got no appreciation. Of course.

Piss. Piss, piss, piss. Right? Urine at work. Y'all been around a lot of urine at work. Y'all been around a lot of urine at work can be a really pissy situation. Yeah, piss and shit. A lot of piss and shit. Yeah, one of piss and shit. But this is all about drug screening. Has anyone ever ran their drug screening program for their employer?

Yes. It sucks. Most of the time, yes. It sucks. It sucks. So hard. I've advised. I've advised on it.

But anyway. It is terrible. It is absolutely terrible, Ashley, just FYI, because you have to, of course, adhere to whatever regulations, DOD, whatever you're dealing with, whatever the policy is. You have to do the randomizer. Like, you know, you have to, like, get the people and all of that for the randoms. And, oh, you have to have that special bathroom. You have to have the, you know, the supplier that comes in and, like, administer. I mean, all of that. It takes so much. planning to do drug screening at work, right? So when you do repetitive randoms, your workforce, of course, knows you're doing them. They all talk about it, whatever. This one time, I remember, you know, we had the line of guys. It was all guys in this particular day. And, you know, they're going one by one into the bathroom and they're giving their sample. Someone has to be in there,

not me, thank goodness. I'm sure they would have asked me, though, if someone didn't show up, all inappropriate. But, you know, everyone's kind of taking their turn or whatever. And you have to monitor this whole situation. Make sure it's the right person, checking IDs, all of this. You're doing all of this because some people know that their piss is going to come back positive for supplement, right? I mean, so, you know, the people are kind of freaking out. It's It's, ugh, right? People are evading. People are disappearing out of nowhere. So this one time, we do the testing and we get the results back pretty quickly. And the lab calls and they noticed something really, really interesting with one of the specimens. And they were very concerned. And I'm like, okay, so what's going on? Well, this guy, he was negative for everything, which is fantastic, right? So he's not on drugs. That's great. But we're very concerned because it wasn't human piss. This employee of yours is bovine. He used cow piss. He's part cow. But we don't employ cows. Well, right? We employed human beings. So I was taken aback.

And it's one of those moments where it's like, oh, good, yeah, like he's incredible. I'm glad that it was all negative. Oh, but he's part cow. Oh, shit. All right. So bovine piss is what he used. And I brought him in. We talked to him.

And what he did was he would wear urine, a bag of urine, tape it on his leg every single day. Yeah, because you've got to have it body temperature. You keep it warm. now I'm just giving people the pro tips. Yep, they check that. You have to have it body crumperature, right? We're checking for that. We're checking for that.

Yeah, because people walk in with fake piss all the time where they buy someone else's piss, right? And so, you know, he had it strapped to his leg, keeping it warm all the time. He thought of everything, right? He paid like 30 bucks for it or something from, you know, a friend. But unfortunately, that friend let him down because he was just smelling cow piss from his farm.

So just, you know, I was like, hey, good news on your drug screen, good news and bad news, actually. The good news is you were negative for everything. He's like, yep. And the bad news is you are part bo-line. You are a cow, and we do not employ cows here. So we're going to have to let you go, unfortunately. What the fuck? I want to know what drug he was taking, that he went through that great of lakes.

Oh, I know, right? That's commitment. That's commitment. I mean, it really is. When you said $30, I was like, but I guess that seems, I mean, it seems about right. I mean, it's a lot of effort. That's one where you're spending more time and energy than you are money. But I just looked up to Amazon and was like, can you buy bovine piss?

Well, here's my question that I was like, what would you search? Because also, I mean, this is like, I own my own business. So I guess I'm not worried about what is it my internet search history. But in my mind, I was playing a game of like, what would I look up? And so I looked up your intestine. accessories and you can't buy the urine as far as I've seen but it's the complete kit of a bottle a hidden leg strap thermometer stickers sample sample but the the kits he is not the only person to have this idea so I want to see the reviews that's what I'm like now it's funny though that you can like

you know the reviews are you can see who wrote them oh my god 478 reviews which means they are selling thousands and thousands of these things yeah good point damn Well, there's also special drinks you can get that dilute your pee enough, too, that you can still pee, but it's supposedly diluted that it won't pop positive in a drug test? Like, certain things won't. Yeah, I don't really know much about that, but I do know that there is such thing as that. I had to take it in high school working, I don't think I had to take one for Kmart. I did for Wind Dixie, the grocery store.

And I didn't, hadn't had anything myself, but, you know, me being a fucking dork, I had just come back from like spring break and maybe gone to like reggae fest in Louisville, like, you know, whatever. And literally to the drug testing people, I'm sure they flagged me. They're like, triple chest. You're like, what if someone put drugs up my butt at the reggae? Like, right. You never know. We'll flag this one. Don't work.

We'll catch you. So I passed and I was able to have the privilege of working at the Windexe, which was fun. But I will say always, I get why people do this and they should not, but you always think the people that have this ingenuity, it's like the same stuff of like the ways that people will cheat at work or other ways in life. It's like take that. There's really productive stuff you can do with it. Well, it's like how companies will have like reverse hackers where they hire real hackers and they hire them for the company to be like, test us out, like help us get better. Like if you have to fire someone for failing a drug test, just think for just think get creative for a second. And like, okay, so maybe they can't do this federally regulated profession, but is there something that they could do?

They might be great in HR, to be honest with you, because they'll be able to suss at what people are doing. So that is. So people say, how can you get into HR? If you're thinking of scheming to get past a drug test and do that, just maybe stop the illicit drug use and maybe think of using it more productively. I'm just saying, yeah. So in my 21 years, I've seen some crazy shit on expense reports. So let me tell you about the one that was really the most wild. Plan B.

Like you, oh, the pill, not like you have a plan A, so you're going to plan B. Yeah, yeah. Because like this trip, like this trip didn't go as plans, so we're going to do plan B. Literally. Literally plan B, the pill from a Walgreens too. So I had the, they wrote the, the Walgreens wrote that. I mean, most of the times people talk about HIPAA and HIPAA doesn't actually apply to most people, but like, do they, did they have the receipt? Oh, questions. Well, okay, so here's,

yeah, here's, here's the backstory. So, obviously, I'm not per se involved in finance, but it came to my desk being HR. And this is how usually they come to my desk. So the VP of Finance had gotten one of, um, a receipt from one of our recent sales manager's trips. And it was a Walgreens receipt. And it was kind of ripped. So he requested another receipt or a, um, a better receipt. And of course, the guy's like, I'm sorry, I don't have it. That's all I had. Blah, blah, blah. You know, all these excuses. And so it was a lot, it was actually quite a lot of money for a Walgreens. And if you know, Plan B, because I googled it just a minute ago, because I didn't know how much it is. It's only $50. So that wasn't even the concern yet, right?

We're not even concerned with what we need to know what is on and what could possibly be personal expenses. So long story short, the VP of finance goes around and round with the sales manager until finally he's able to produce the whole receipt. And on that whole receipt was a lot of things that, like, beer purchases, things that at a Walgreens too. Like, anyway, random things, but on it is a Plan B pill. Now, I don't remember, you know, this didn't happen that long ago, too. I don't remember exactly what it said on the, I don't think it said,

plant B on the Walgreens receipt. I'm not sure what it said. It's like the long medical name. It was something enough that the VP of Finance approached me. It was like, we have an issue. The sales manager, you know, rang up. I think it was close to like $600 at Walgreens. Wait, what?

Yes. And one trip. And so I get this receipt, which is, you know, this person actually is remote. So it was like two halves of a ripped receipt. And like the first half is like, um normal stuff you would like band-aids and um i mean what yeah but then the like the bottom half is where there's like so much stuff and i'm like why how could how'd you spend six hundred dollars but anyway so the plan B's on there and VP is the finance like this guy ran this on corporate card

wait this guy the sales manager was a guy who bought the plan B account it okay while on travel uh while on travel in florida and did you say sales manager's trip because all the sudden things are making a little sales. There was a couple sales manager. It was a retreat. Did they need a retreat? Absolutely not. Why was the company paying for a retreat? I'm not sure. That's a whole another issue and I don't need to go there. So anyway, I get the sales manager on the phone and I'm asking him questions and, you know, he was like, well, we drank on it. That's why the beer and whatnot is on the receipt. And I'm like, okay. And I was like, well, there was something else on there that, you know, why this ended up on my desk. So I'm just kind of,

he said, well, yeah, I had to buy that because it happened while I was at work referring to the plan B because he was on a work trip and he needed to provide the lady the plan B. So he put it down as a work expense. I'm potentially saving you tons of money in future like health care and all of this. Future medical claims. Yes. I paid attention in open enrollment, and I saw the difference between the single and the family. What? I mean, so needless to say, we did make him pay back a portion of the Walgreens bill.

And it was a good portion because, like I said, a lot of it, the bottom half of that receipt that was conveniently ripped was stuff that was, you know, wouldn't be covered under a business trip. And also, he lost his credit court privileges. I mean, listen, I'm sure people have very differing opinions on plan B overall, but I think we can all unite under the idea that it generally should not be a reimbursable work expense. No, exactly. But I also love that the finance person is like, let me look at this. Let me look at, oh, shoot, let's have Jamie handle it. Well, yeah, because I think once he got that second half of the receipt, like I said, it was funny

how it was ripped. I remember it so well. was ripped where you could see some of the items on one side, but it kind of went up where the price part was ripped. Like, he did it intentionally. And the bottom half was like the beer. And I thought that there was alcohol, but like wine. Maybe in Florida you combine wine at a Walgreens. I'm not really sure. But yeah, the plan B stuck out like a sort of. Flu shots in the office. Have you all ever had to get a flu shot for work? Many times.

Healthcare. Got it. Right. Lee? Yeah, I wanted to get it. I wasn't like forced to. Well. Well.

I have not worked in health care. I have worked in food service, but I also once worked at a law firm where we got, and I can't exactly tell you if we were required to get them or not, but I know that they had them set up for us right in the office, and likely because in a lot, and likely because in a law firm. They want you to work as much as possible. So don't get sick. Exactly. It's for your care, but more importantly, don't mess up our client's needs, self-sacrifice. But why I say, I can't remember if they were required is they were in the office. And so it wasn't even like a building-wide thing, go to a thing. So we had to sign up for sign up. And so I went to sign up. And I go into a

little conference room. And I walk in and there's the nurse with the flu shot. And there's also our head of HR. It's sitting there at the table. And he was like a grown, older, older man. Like checking people off. Literally. Literally. Yes. And this is why he is. Yes. And so I remember looking around and glancing in my mind thinking, like, is this a print camera type show? But of course, I'm also like a junior associate. So I'm not going to say anything. So I woke and close the door and like the blinds down but so I sit and I remember thinking to myself

okay I had like a button up shirt you know like a dorky like you had to whip your titty out no I didn't but I am never in my life been so intentional not even like a senior prom picture I've never been as a potential about how I post my body as I see I'm like I don't want anything to come out

and he's just sitting there with the clipboard all of that watching so I do my do my sleeve down I get my flu shot. I move on with life and I went back to my desk and I thought, God, working is so freaking weird. And that was it. So that's the time that, um, at a law firm, HR sat in. So sometimes when you see these comments that are like anti-HR or HR is very strange. I honestly, I think back to this comment. Well, yeah. There's this situation years later of the time that we had a, HR is a witness for many type of conversations, but also at times for flu shots.

Ear licking. Here we go again. I know, here we go again, right? But ear licking. Oh, gosh. Did you know that you can get in trouble for things that you do outside of work by your employer? Yeah. I did you know that, Ashley? I did. I did know that. But I'm curious how that ties into ear licking. Okay. So imagine that you are at a bar having a happy hour with your team. And you know, you're having a good time. Yes. See, so it's associated, right? With coworkers. That's right. There's no one else there with your party except your team. And you're having a good time. You're having a good time. and you're maybe an hour or two in, right? So you're a little sloshy, right? You're,

feeling it. You're feeling good. And then, you know, people want to take a group photo. Wasn't that dumb? I was going to say sweet, but really, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's the beginning of the party. Yeah. Yes, that's the beginning. No, it's not, right? But evidence, right? Oh, sorry. That's just Jamie? I mean, you know, I would be doing like happy hour evidence from the workplace, right? But during that photo, guess what happens? I have a... You can guess, right? Because I already kicked it up a little ear.

An ear was licked. A supervisor lit up the ear of one of his employees, his team members. His former team member at this point. Correct. Yeah, because he don't work there no more. Somebody's either fleeing the job or going to be fled. And he did a little ear swirl in there. I was one, okay, I was wondering what the position was and then where if it was just the tip of the ear?

Like a bite. Was it a nibble? It wasn't a nibble. It was literally like, oh, yeah, like a little, like a circular, like. Was that caught on picture? It was very close. Could you imagine having a supervisor? Which were you in the situation? Were you supervisory? Oh, no, uh-uh. No, I'm not into that. Well, maybe I am. But not in the workplace. They're going to be a liberal arts school. That's a liberal arts level of, we'll dip our toe or our ear. Yeah, we'll try it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, of course, as these things go, as you start investigating, you realize, oh, my gosh, so this is the workplace creeper.

Yeah. You know, the supervisor's always doing creepy shit like this. And no one had ever shared anything because people do make the assumption. I'm going to talk for my position as an HR leader that we know everything. We do not. We only know what you all share with us and that we see. Right. You know what I mean?

Like we literally have to see it or someone has to tell us about it, right? We don't always get the rumor mill that, you know, so-and-so's a creeper down on the shop floor. Believe it or not, you know, so. They have to be comfortable, too, to share that information with us. But wait, because there's always fear of retaliation, right? Because this was a supervisor who's doing the earlicking. Exactly. It makes it that much more difficult.

But let's go back to that moment. did the person like jump scare? What was the reaction in the moment of the person? I would have swung. Oh, yeah, no. I mean, I think she took the photo. I think it was like a quick swish in the ear and then, you know, like we're taking the photo, you know, which is a gross exploitation of power right there.

You know what I mean? She's like paralyzed right there. And I think, you know, she had shared with somebody else who then reports that. You know what I mean? So then it kind of gets bubbled up and you start investigating and realize, well, this is the grossest person ever who's like going station to station out on the shop floor and like being uncomfortably close to people and you know like ghost with the clay you know like Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore sort of shit you know what I mean they're not looking as please as Demi is in

that situation they have that like carlise where you're like well what face do I have to make to not get fired yeah and it's sad I hate when those would pop you know I hate that shit I feel like you in your HR career have had this like game of operations of like the different body parts that you had in some of these like between toes. I can't. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait.

But that's something. That's something. But that's probably topic for this. Some of these episodes are things that happen outside of work that can. People think that it's like the Harry Potter invisibility cloak of like I'm out of the office. Yeah. I have First Amendment rights. This is a U.S. concept.

I have First Amendment rights to do to do anything. And sometimes people get to get. a shock. What does that have to do with you? Yeah. And often I will say, I don't give a shit what you do outside the office. However, if you're doing it to your co-worker and you're doing it

non-consensually, I almost said sexually, non-consensually and that person is your supervisor doing it? Oh, no. No, no. I've had some issues with things people have done outside of the office that have nothing to do with co-workers. But that's for another episode. For now, I'm just, I'm literally

Like, we'll save that water cooler talk. I hate a wet willie. Oh, I know. I mean, I don't know. I guess, well, I'm, maybe there are people that like that. And so I don't want to shame anybody. No, no. No, we're not.

Normally, it's children. I'm just trying to fath them. But there's people that'll be like, oh, my God, fuck yeah. Because when their supervisor does that, they're like, that is my ticket. And that's what they put in their back pocket. And that stays in their back pocket until something happens to them. I've got a golden ticket. Which is the performance issue.

It's a skimming wonka. It's giving wonka. Yeah, it's giving, it's giving Wonka, the golden ticket. Let me show you this photo of my supervisor licking my ear. And then that conversation changes very, very, very quickly use it as leverage. Like, I want a 25% raise. That is the golden ticket. And HR professionals are nodding and you are listening.

Yes. Think about those golden tickets get revealed and it's like the reverse, you know, cards. And it may not even be the person whose ears lick that gets the golden ticket. Because if a coworker sees that, it could be consensual that you're looking. photo. There could be an affair there, right? And now there's favoritism. And then a peer sees that and they escalate that up too. Oh, something's going on with those two and this isn't fair and we got this. Oh my God. Right. All the things. Right. There's so many scenarios. But in this one, she did not appreciate the tongue in the ear.