HR BESTIES - HR Besties: What to Do if You Hate Your Job

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

Today’s agenda:  The best busser Cringe corporate speak: heads up Hot topic: what to do if you hate your job FYI, hating your job affects every aspect of your life What makes someone hate their job? Identifying what really makes someone dislike their job vs. what is tolerable or enjoyable at work can help solve the issue How to make the most of jobs we hate so they don't affect our lives outside the organization Setting boundaries can make a huge difference Communicating with leaders, management and colleagues if possible (once again, ChatGPT can be a helpful tool!) Don't let a bad job convince you that you're bad at your job Questions/Comments  Your To-Do List: Grab merch, submit Questions & Comments, and make sure that you’re the first to know about our In-Person Meetings (events!) at https://www.hrbesties.com. Follow your Besties across the socials and check out our resumes here: https://www.hrbesties.com/about.  Subscribe to the HR Besties Newsletter - https://hr-besties.beehiiv.com/subscribe We look forward to seeing you in our next meeting - don’t worry, we’ll have a hard stop! Yours in Business + Bullsh*t,  Leigh, Jamie & Ashley Follow Bestie Leigh! https://www.tiktok.com/@hrmanifesto https://www.instagram.com/hrmanifesto https://www.hrmanifesto.com Follow Bestie Ashley! https://www.tiktok.com/@managermethod  https://www.instagram.com/managermethod https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyherd/ https://managermethod.com Follow Bestie Jamie! https://www.millennialmisery.com/ Humorous Resources: Instagram • YouTube • Threads • Facebook • X Millennial Misery: Instagram • Threads • Facebook • X Horrendous HR: Instagram • Threads • Facebook Tune in to “HR Besties,” a business, work and management podcast hosted by Leigh Elena Henderson (HRManifesto), Ashley Herd (ManagerMethod) and Jamie Jackson (Humorous_Resources), where we navigate the labyrinth of corporate culture, from cringe corporate speak to toxic leadership. Whether you’re in Human Resources or not, corporate or small business, we offer sneak peeks into surviving work, hiring strategies, and making the employee experience better for all. Tune in for real talk on employee engagement, green flags in the workplace, and how to turn red flags into real change. Don't miss our chats about leadership, career coaching, and takes from work travel and watercooler gossip. Get new episodes every Wednesday, follow us on socials for the latest updates, and join us at our virtual happy hours to share your HR stories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So, have you all ever heard that sometimes it's not a good thing to be too good at your job? Right? I mean, I think sometimes we talk about this online. I know I do, right? Because what happens is you get kind of pigeonholed into just doing that, and it may prevent you from being promoted, right? People are relying on you doing that thing so well that it limits really your movement within an organization.

Well, I've got a great example where I did something so well that everyone hated me. Right? And that happens too. So I'm going to take you all back to Chewy's Techs Max, which was my first paid job that the IRS recognized. Right? I was a hostess. And one day, like no bussers showed up.

And of course, there's a couple of hostesses, and it's like, oh, OK, hey, Lee, can you be a busser? And I was like, yeah. Yeah, I can be, you know, because tips, you know? And I was really excited about it. And I was hustling like no one's business. Oh, I was so good at being a busser. I was cleaning the shit out of everything. I mean, tables were free and open. It was so efficient. I mean, I don't think I have worked a job as efficiently as I did bussing tables at a Tex-Mex restaurant. Like no shit. And

I enjoyed it, you know? And I was good at it. And I didn't have to talk to anybody. That was probably the best part. So I was just in the zone cleaning things. But because I was good at that, I basically ruined the service for the entire restaurant that day. Because what was happening is we were down a hostess or a host, and there were open tables. So people are waiting and they're complaining. And then the waiters, I'm keeping them on their toes because their tables are flipping, right? And then they, of course, felt obliged to tip me because I was efficient.

And basically, they all went to the manager and said, do not ever let her bus again. Get her back to the front. Get her back to the front. Get your ass back where it belongs, not in the kitchen, in the hostess stand. So you're kind of damned if you do or you're damned if you don't. You know what I mean? And I was obviously young. I was a teenager.

I was in high school, but I actually feel really fortunate because I connected the dots, right? Like what happened? You know, all self-reflecting, you know? I connected the dots and realized that, hey, I was so concerned about my own performance that I didn't take into consideration like anyone else's experience in that restaurant. And I'm over here like, I'm just going to wow them, and I'm going to do great, and I'm going to stay fun.

I'm going to be a good worker. Because I actually wanted to do busing, not the host thing, so I could get tips, like I said. But it was my first and last day as a buser. But it's an early lesson that I'm glad that I have. But when you think about it, it's like, OK, yeah, you actually have to mine the ecosystem, previously used cringe word.

Fun times. Have you all ever been a buser? I'm just curious. I've been a hostess that bused, like side bussed, when it was like, you know, quiet or I could help out. Yeah. I loved it personally. Like I pre-bus my table when I go out now. Like I'm like, look at me. I stacked all the things.

Yeah. Yeah. 100%. 100%. There are jobs. Absolutely working in a restaurant is one of them where you really pay attention to stuff. The kids will have a, I mean also it's manners, but you're especially cognizant I think if you've worked at a restaurant. There'll be a straw wrapper on the floor. I'm like, pick it up. They're like, oh my God, it just fell two seconds ago. I'm like, you'll forget about it. And I'm like, we're not doing that. We're not hurting the servers. It's hard enough on your back in the bus. You can't bend down when you're holding those dishes.

Clean up after yourself. Same at the grocery store. I, having worked at Winn-Dixie in Louisville, Kentucky, I am very pleased with myself at how I know, and it's like a signal of how you put groceries on the conveyor belt. And heaviest stuff in front, bread in the back, And it's like a signal of how you put groceries on the conveyor belt and heart, you know, heaviest stuff in front, bread in the back, you know, knowing what you're doing with the

basket, you put the basket under there, if there's a spot, you don't make up a spot for your basket, all those things. It's fun, right? Did either of you guys work at grocery stores? No. No. Okay. I'm going to ask our HR Besties listeners this.

If you know, there's a difference if you have or you haven't, if you know what 4011 means, everyone that's worked at a grocery store. Bananas. Banana. Okay. I mean, I'm shocked at the groceries. How do you know? I didn't know that until I worked at the grocery store and we had a quiz and had to memorize

all of the numbers and do quizzes to learn what all of the different vegetables were, damn. I'm pretty sure you said it on a season one episode. Shit. So that's how I know it. You have a good memory. The stickers, I weigh my bananas. I'm gonna pipe down.

But who got it at home, you know what I mean? Like you get pride, not prize, you know? We got a great episode for you all today. It's all things what to do if you hate your job. I think we've all been there. Some of you all may be there now. So we're going to turn that inside out. But before we do, of course, we are going to have our Cringe Corporate speak, and that

is brought to us this week by Jamie. We'll shift into that meeting hot topic, and as always, we'll end with some questions and comments. Yeah. So, this week, I can't believe we actually have not had this word or words yet. It's heads up. I'm shocked, right? Wow.

I'm constantly giving heads up. That sounded wrong. I was like, hold on. I could have heard Lee's voice. Lee's voice saying that would have been a different one. What's up? We're screwed. But like in HR, I always feel like whenever I get an inkling of something or someone comes

to me unrelated to something else and like, I don't know, you know, when you've been in HR for as long as we have, you just can pick up on things a little different than anyone else. So I always am like giving heads up to leadership, like heads up, not saying so and so said this, but the pulse right now is. Oh boy, you're really throwing some corporate cringe speak around the workplace. There you go. Heads up, pulse sucks.

The ecosystem is trash here. Lee, have you used it? Yeah. I don't think it's one of my usual cringes. I say FYI a lot, which is kind of the same. Yeah. You know what I mean? Maybe I should start saying heads up because people are like, FYI, sometimes people don't know what that means. But yeah,

no, heads up. I've definitely given a lot of heads up. You know, like Jamie was saying, you know, like, hey, you better watch yourself. Heads up. You know, heads are going to roll. Like yeah, yeah. That one's not as cringy, right? Heads up. It is one of those I think it can it can be cringy on the receiving end. Like if a leader saying it to you, for example, like heads up this, and it's not really heads up because you're about to find out in like seconds walking into a meeting that you're about to get a ton of work. And you're like, I mean, that really wasn't much of a heads up. You didn't give me that much advanced lead time. And now I'm just like, now I guess you get credit for being the first to tell me.

But I do think, yeah, giving it to other people in that heads up. As you were talking about that, Jamie, haven't spent a good chunk of my career as a lawyer. It's a little tough because one, nobody gives you heads up. People when they're reaching out to the lawyer, like if you think people don't like HR, they really hate legal. And so people will try to hide stuff as much as possible until it's like the bubbles burst. And yeah, it's too late. You know, everything's overflowed and you got to clean everything up real quickly and perfectly.

But also as a lawyer, often you can't give a heads up, you have to be cautious on things. And so it's a little bit of a no fun zone where you'd like to give people of a heads up and you can't. And so that's when you have to go back to our episode on managing up of explaining to leaders about giving that heads up and do things a little bit differently. But yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, heads up.

Did you know, see, I use that a lot instead of heads up. I use two intros there. Well, heads up, hating your job is one of those things that affects every aspect of your life. Your energy, your sleep, your health, your relationships, right? I mean, it's insidious, you know? And so, it's important to remember that if you are sitting there hating your job, it's information. You know, it is your gut telling you something. But what now?

What's next? What do you do? How do you get past or through that? Ladies, have you all ever hated a job? Raising hand. Probably a few too many, actually. That's true. Maybe you stayed too long.

I know I may have. One thing I learned after I'd moved jobs and felt like I'd hate it was what makes you hate a job? And I do think one question that can be really helpful for people to think of, including if you're about to take a new job or in your current job, is what would make me hate a job that really, really I couldn't deal with? So Jamie, in those jobs that you've hated, what were the aspects that for you personally

made you dislike it? I think a couple of reasons. Like one was like I didn't have autonomy. So like being micromanaged and not feeling like I could own my department. Cause for instance, I was a departmental one. So like being able to own my work in my department, but also just like being in a toxic environment, right?

Like feeling physically sick to go to work, or I remember I was actual sick, like I had a cold and it was kicking my ass and missing work and then being terrified of the shit they were talking about me because I wasn't physically there that day. Like just super toxic environments. And I think you bring up an excellent point, Ashley. I mean, I think that is the first thing is to name what you actually hate about the job because chances are it's not everything. I mean, there were jobs that I hated, but God, I love the people.

But maybe the work just wasn't fulfilling. And so that would be my first piece of advice to folks, is what is it about the job? Really dig in deep, because chances are, it isn't everything. But pinpoint the couple of things that it is, so you can start honing in and addressing those aspects. Are they things you can even affect or change? Yeah.

And for some people, I think you end up in a situation, and you look around, and you're like, oh my god, I hate my job. And I think there's a couple things. One is in any job, including a new role within your same organization, there is a learning curve, where a lot of times your same organization, there is a learning curve where a lot of times you may think, I hate this. I don't want to do it.

Like while I have friends that I talk to about plenty of other topics, I have enough friends that may think I'm a wizard and can give them good advice on things. Oftentimes it's like, I started this new job. What do I do if I hate my job? And I say to people, it's again, thinking about those aspects. And if it's like right at the beginning, like, can you get your old job back? What does that look like? That's not completely unheard of.

Like, what are your realistic options? But also just know there are some temporary discomforts that even whether it's like learning things, like trying to figure out, it can be a real shock to the system, especially if you've been in a job for a really long time. Like part of the reason you leave sometimes is to have a growth opportunity. That all sounds fine and good and sounds great in an interview until you get that growth opportunity and all of a sudden, no one knows you and you don't have this built-in currency. You don't know how to ask for time off.

You don't know what the expectations are. All of a sudden, that can feel very personal and like, what the heck am I doing with my career in life? When I've had situations, there aren't too many things that I hated a little bit in like law firm life only because what that is, is like you're measuring your time. And so it was like, literally every time you do something, you have to write down exactly what you did, and you have to write it down in detail that your client will approve. And then you're, you're on call constantly.

And so it was those aspects. I actually really enjoyed the people I worked with clients. I worked with the type of work I did largely but but when I moved to jobs, I realized it was exactly that Jamie like I went when I realized boy I had a lot of autonomy in a job. So I could make decisions I felt confident I still had support. So if I needed to ask my boss like what would you do in this situation, they were totally helpful to give me advice but I could be on conversations. And all of a sudden I moved into a role where every decision pretty much I made, I had to get time with two other people

to agree on things, even like pretty minimal things. And so I think a lot of this is thinking about what is that that's personal to you? And how can you, to Lee's point, what can you change or affect? One thing I'll say is because at the job market now, some people are, you feel like you're stuck in your role and candidly maybe like it really is people will say I do think it's a lot easier to find a new role when you have a current role. That doesn't mean if you've gone through a layoff or things like that, it's impossible to find another role. But having a current job is a privilege. I mean, I don't know if that's the right word for it. But it is something not to take lightly. And from a financial

perspective, oftentimes people can't just be like, take this job and shove it. Let's face it, modern work life is complicated. But good news, we're here for you. I'm Kayla Lopez. And I'm Kyle Hegge. And together, we've helped thousands of Morning Brew subscribers grow in their careers. And now as the co-host of Purr My Last Email, we're bringing that advice straight to you

each week with hot takes and tactics on how to succeed in every area of work. Whether that's figuring out if you're being underpaid. Or how to stand out in a remote work environment. So join us each week on Purr My Last Email, on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. And so how do you all think about it if you're in a job that you feel like you hate, how do you make the most of that and not let it affect every aspect of your life? I think you have to look for the good.

Maybe the work you are doing is meaningful and maybe not. But you all know, I just unfortunately was let go from a position and I love the company, but there were some fundamental things that were not great, but I would have stayed on that ship and sank with it. Because the job market's actual trash right now. So trying to find another job right now is insanely difficult. There's not a lot of open jobs. There's a lot of ghost job postings, I truly believe that there are out there. So it wouldn't have probably been my decision to leave my job. It was made for me. But what do you have to do to stay in it? You know what I mean? Like if you're,

if you don't have someone make that decision for you, how do you, I mean, I had to look for the good and know what I was doing was meaningful and I was making an impact. Now, we're in it, I'm in HR, so making an impact for our employees. Yeah. You know, for me, because I've been in that similar situation before, I love the advice, Jamie, to see the good in it, right? And lean into those good aspects of the job, but I've also focused on what I could strategically

shift or change or affect in the job, right? Meaning, okay, so this job isn't for me. I totally dislike it, but the best time to look for a job is when you have a job. So how can I make this work in the short term? Let me start by setting some new boundaries, right? Because I know I'm being used or exploited or overworked or burned out in this way. So, let me say I'm not going to check email after 6 p.m., whatever the boundary may be, right? Let me actually offload some of my tasks. Let me see if I can work with my manager.

I'm shifting some things off my plate because so many new things have gotten on my plate. Let me see if I can make this workload a little more tolerable, right? Let me start using all of my vacation. Let me take mental health days as sick days. Let me... There's days as sick days. There's all these things that you could do and that I've done to just make a bad situation

more tolerable in the short term until I could transition or move on or figure out what was next. I really like those a lot. And I think there's two different paths. One is talking to your manager. Again, if there's things about your job and you're like, I would like this job, if not for these aspects, thinking about again, it totally depends on your manager. Sometimes people have the read and they're like, I can't have that conversation. And that's a really unfortunate place to be.

Sometimes you may just decide like, I'm going to give it a try. And so just like we talked about in our managing up episode, but generally is if you want to have the conversation is what's your manager going to want to hear if you say I want to build a career here, but here are some of the things that are preventing me from doing my best work that I really think I could work better if for some of these aspects. Like things like, you know, if you're having to double check with people and it's like nothing's happening because you have to double check with two people, like, can we have a conversation where we agree on certain things where where we have a threshold? Or things like your manager is blowing you up on the weekends and at nights and just saying, that brings me very real stress and I know you're not

trying to make me feel that way, but that's how I feel. Whether it's turning off my email and you have my cell phone number if it's a true emergency, but in those aspects it gets to me. And then when I show up to work, I'm not, you know, I can't, I can't do my work. And so kind of meeting them where they are. But on the flip side is if you're like, this really isn't for me. One of the things that, that I would do is think about your future resume is what bullet points do you want to have in a future resume that at the end of the day, you maybe even be glad that you had that experience. You're just glad that you're not in it anymore in the future. But so some of it is just telling yourself like this isn't forever.

And even that of like telling yourself this isn't forever and in the future, this is what I'll be able to tell everybody else. Everybody doesn't have to know that I cried in my car getting out of the parking lot and I texted old work besties of like, what am I doing? But yeah, from building relationships to talking to other colleagues about things, trying to figure things out together. But thinking of that future resume and what you can write out and really focus on those things and view them as opportunities rather than stuff that you hate that makes you never want to come back to work again.

Yeah. I mean, that kind of reminds me of how I've always put an exit strategy together when I'm ready to leave a job.. I'm just strategic AF, love it. But it's really not that heavy or deep. It's just, hey, resignation mentally that, okay, I'm going to leave this job, like I'm committing to that. So let me work backwards. There's my new ideal job. I'm sitting in it. What do I need to do then to achieve that?" It's simple things like, you mentioned resume, updating that resume, thinking about that future resume and those bullet points like you mentioned, tapping that network, warming up those old contacts, conferences, development, training, all the things that you feel like you need

conferences, development, training, all the things that you feel like you need to get to that next position. Start working methodically to get there. But just small actions towards a future state, it will build momentum. You'll no longer feel as stuck or just overwhelmed overwhelmed kind of just in the confines of this place that you are loathing. You know, you're working on yourself, you're working on your future, you're moving forward, you know, so it's just best to take action, right? But some things, I think, just thinking about your role, sometimes it's going to be your own job. Sometimes you're going to be maybe not even a colleague, but like a friend or

family member. And just knowing what your role can be. Sometimes it's just showing support in the moment. If you have a friend that's in a job that they hate, being in that support level. And just knowing as you get together, maybe not bringing it up. If you know it's been a source of stress, not bring it up. If they do, being there for them. But also if that person starts liking things about their job, and maybe you may see this from family more than friends sometimes, but like, no, but you hate that job. It's terrible.

Like people will shift in their mindsets. And so the things that you can do to help, to help people and saying like, I'm sorry, that sucks. What are the things that you don't mind as much and how can you focus on those? But ways that you can be that support person to not dismiss what they're going through, but be that mirror a bit to people. Because especially people need others in their life to like be that person that they can vent to safely. And if you're going through it, reach out, right? You know, I mean, you got to talk to someone,

get you some work besties, right? You have us, but whatever you do, don't let a bad job convince you that you are bad at your job, right, or what you do. And if you are starting to interview, you hear this a lot from people that are like, why do I say why I left that job or why I'm looking to leave this job? And it is, it totally depends on the circumstances. But this is an area that chat GPT, it can be helpful because depending on what those reasons are is going to chat GPT and saying, as I'm talking to the internal recruiter or my future hiring manager, how can I talk about why I'm looking to leave the job if these are the reasons without coming across?

Again, you don't have to be the toxic positivity or completely lie, but on the flip side, if you're interviewing a candidate and all they do is talk about how awful their job is and all of these things, just knowing that interviewer may think, okay, but is that really the case? Is that how they're going to talk about us when I'm trying my best as a manager? Just knowing it's have that balance. What's one of those areas that I do think chat GPT can be helpful in, in the moment, aside from career coaches and all that, everybody doesn't always have budgets for those, but it can help in that moment and give those talking points.

You can always find the way to say that most naturally for you. I love that. Not me running into ChatGPT. But it is, I mean, even the things of like, these are the things that drive me crazy about my job. How can I balance on a day to day basis? Again, like ChatGPT is not a substitute for a therapist or true mental health. It's not a mental health professional. But I tell you what, it's like, it gives you feedback that often can be more clear than just writing it down in your diary and being like, wow, I'd love to hear some advice from somebody. It can be helpful sometimes in those moments

in a pinch. Love it. On that note, shall we shift to some questions and comments? Yes. What do you got ladies? I'm simply just stressing out that I did not use the word heads up. That's a miss. But you know what? If you're going to be stressed about something.

Missed an opportunity. I am glad that that is your source of stress and nothing else. I know, right? Well, I've got a comment, not a question. Heads up. Rubbing it, rubbing it, rubbing it. I know. All right. Well, I've got to do it for you. You know what I mean? Heads up. Rubbin' it, rubbin' it, rubbin' it. I know.

Well, I've got to do it for you. You know what I mean? Heads up. It is so important to separate your worth from work. So if you are hating your job, trust me, you are not overreacting. You're not lazy. You're not ungrateful. You're just, you're going through it.

But the important thing is that you recognize you're going through it and there's something that you don't like and you're listening to yourself. So now you can, you can take action. You will not be stuck forever. It may feel like it today, but you won't be stuck forever. But again, don't tie your worth and your value to your work. You'll get through it. That was a mic drop. Mic drops, but it's a nice drop, like a leaf, like twirling down, twirling down to the ground. I have a question.

Okay, good. Banana. Oh my God. 4-0-1-1. I forgot, I didn't even think about this. I have the banana right here. What is a TV or movie workplace that you would have really enjoyed going to work in? This is hard.

Oh, that is hard. Ashley, I feel like yours is the office. Yeah. Do you have one? Yeah. I'd probably say the office because I think I would have had, like, I love colleagues you can relate with. I love colleagues that are kind of like quirky and show their quirky side and all of that. And I don't mind singing. So out of like Andy Bernard's,

you know, random acapella things, I just would have gotten such a kick out of every aspect of it. I literally cannot think of any off the top of my head. This is too loaded. You know, I always wanted to remember Murphy Brown. Yes. Oh my God. Yes. Yeah. I always wanted to work there. That just seemed quirky. And designing women with their interior design. Oh, I was about to say designing women, yes.

Sugar baker, sugar baker. The sugar bakers, yeah, yeah. Oh man, and I just wanted to hang out with the golden girls, even though I guess they were retired, basically. Well, they were retired, but remember, they're like- At like 50. Yeah, they're like, aren't the age we are are now, which again, if that's what it takes, I'll go live in a house together in Florida with the two of you all and we'll find an extra

bestie or two. It's fine. In the villages? Have a lanai. Absolutely. I would move to the villages tomorrow. No question. No question.

Oh gosh, that's a good one. Well, yeah, see, we always have that. If you hate your job, you can go move somewhere on a beach. You can, or an hour from the beach, as the Villages is, in a pretty affordable, relatively lifestyle. So, you can always come to me for the Villages content. Right. This was not a paid promo for the Villages, just for the record.

Not a paid, sadly. Sadly. Yes, sadly. Not at Sadly. Not at all. Though they could. Hopefully one day. They could. I would really, yeah. I'll happily take a golf cart or two. Well, hang in there besties and protect that piece, okay? It's not, it won't last too long you hating that job because you're going to take some action now.