Huberman Lab - How to Make Yourself Unbreakable | DJ Shipley
Episode Date: October 6, 2025My guest is DJ Shipley, a former Tier 1 operator Navy SEAL and now a top public educator on how to build mental and physical health and reach top-level performance in any endeavor. DJ’s life is one ...marked by extraordinary strivings, wins, setbacks and comebacks that together have shaped his approach to overcoming challenges of all kinds and to daily life. DJ explains a regimen of clear, practical steps and a mental stance that can allow anyone—male, female, young or old—to build extreme resilience of mind and body and to be successful in family and work. We also discuss his experience with new, emerging treatments for addiction, PTSD and depression that many people, not just veterans, are benefiting from. The tools DJ describes to “stack small wins” and to be ultra-intentional about your mindset will be of immense benefit to anyone wishing to achieve the best version of themselves. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AGZ by AG1: https://drinkagz.com/huberman Rorra: https://rorra.com/huberman BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman ROKA: https://roka.com/huberman Timestamps (0:00) DJ Shipley (4:03) Mental & Physical Health, Tools: Morning Routine & Micro-wins (8:35) Balancing Work & Family, Tools: Compartmentalization, "Control the Controllable" (13:46) Sponsors: Rorra & BetterHelp (16:25) Phones, Social Media vs Focus, Negativity, Tool: Consistency & Sleep (23:05) Routine & Stressors, Exercise & Benefits, Tool: Morning Workout (29:24) Body Awareness, Hurt vs Injury (33:53) Physical Injury & Rehab; Exercise; Mobility, Tool: 5-Day Workout Program (44:26) Sponsors: AGZ by AG1 & Eight Sleep (47:29) Skateboarding, Career, Navy SEAL, BUD/S & Embracing Discomfort (56:13) BUD/S, Motivation & Mental Resilience (1:02:18) Navy SEALs, Iraq War & Casualties, Compartmentalization (1:08:41) Public Press; Extortion 17, Operation Red Wings; Death of Friends (1:16:25) High Performers, Social Media Negativity & Legacy (1:19:37) Sponsor: Function (1:21:24) Family Legacy, Military & Purpose, Navy SEAL Culture, Wife & Relationship (1:30:10) Second Deployment, Helplessness & Trauma, Inspiration & Reverence (1:38:30) Skydiving, Injury & Mental Resilience; Medical Retirement & Addiction (1:49:17) Art Therapy, Skateboarding, Electrocution & Recovery (2:00:57) Physical Recovery, Trainer Vernon Griffith (2:04:38) Miracles, Higher Power; Work & Life Tension (2:12:52) Sponsor: ROKA (2:14:39) Physical & Mental Posture, Suicide, Depression, Tool: Control the Controllable (2:21:22) Suicide, Mental Health & Darkest Hour, Ibogaine, 5-MeO-DMT (2:31:18) Ibogaine & Empathy, 5-MeO-DMT & Ego Death; Returning Home, Tool: Dials Not Switches (2:42:42) Psychedelics, Mental Health Plasticity; Veterans' Solutions, Addiction (2:50:39) Medical Ibogaine, Anger, Numbing Out & Hate; Dogs (3:03:42) GBRS Program, High Standards, Functional Fitness, Tool: Fitness Test (3:17:50) Self-Care, Longevity & Fitness, GBRS Program (3:24:45) Self-Respect, Tools: 20-Minute Walk & Relationships; Micro-wins (3:32:57) Acknowledgements, American Flag Hat, Patriotism (3:40:00) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Sponsors, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I had a lot of emotional stuff happen to me in that second deployment.
You know, my idol, Maddie Roberts, I've talked about him a couple times.
I really, really hung on to that, dude.
Like, he was my true north.
He was the guy.
And when he got shot up, when you see it happen, you know,
I think that was the closest call for fire mission, the entire Iraq war.
Like inside a 15 meters.
I mean, Corey Mike, Mike from AC130 gunship.
I mean, it was on top of you, a bell-fed machine gun, just chewing us up.
Everybody shot up except for me and one other guy, and we're all crowded behind this tractor tire, just you felt like a victim.
Like, I felt helpless.
You know, I'm getting around, support all over me, and at a certain point, you just go, I'd rather run back into the front of this thing and get killed with all of them than be the lone survivor.
Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life.
I'm Andrew Huberman, and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine.
My guest today is DJ Shipley.
DJ Shipley is a retired Navy SEAL who served for 17 years, much of that time as a Tier 1 operator,
meaning part of an elite, highly selective special operation unit within the SEALs.
In recent years, DJ has emerged as a top public educator on the topics of how to structure your days to maximize your mindset for sake of physical and mental health,
as well as performance in work or school,
and to best support and build your closest relationships.
As you'll soon learn from DJ,
there are key points in your day
when you can take specific physical steps,
including but not limited to physical exercise,
to shift your mind away from rumination, distraction,
and frustration to a state of immense clarity, focus, and drive.
Through trial and error, DJ has figured out,
and he shares with us how that process is done
and how you can do it too,
right down to the details.
What he describes goes way beyond a standard morning,
routine or evening routine, and most importantly, is accessible to all of us. You also won't
hear any cliches or fluff in today's discussion. DJ is very specific about what to do and when
and how in order to become the best possible version of yourself. You'll often hear those words
out there, how to become the best version of yourself or reach your potential. But what DJ does so
beautifully is he explains exactly how to do that. And he shares his story of how he joined and moved
through the SEAL teams and the victories,
but of course also the immense challenges and losses
that he and his team makes experienced.
We also discuss addiction, PTSD, and depression,
and new paths for overcoming those.
In particular, a new medical treatment,
Ibegain followed by DMT,
and how that's being used to help veterans
overcome addiction, PTSD, and suicidality.
I've paid close attention to that work
over the last five years
because the brain imaging aspect is being done
by my colleague, Dr. Nolan Williams at Stanford.
I should mention that the Ibegain DMT process we discuss is not a recreational one.
Rather, it's being done as part of clinical trials and dedicated research studies.
DJ explains that process firsthand, and at the same time, I should mention that Ibogaine and DMT are still illegal in the United States.
They are not FDA approved, so no one should explore their use outside of these clinical trials.
However, the FDA is looking seriously at these compounds, and approval for them seems quite likely in the next 12 months or so.
Today's discussion is one that anybody, male, female, young or old, can benefit from.
DJ has immense knowledge, he has immense experience, and he has an incredible ability to take
what he's learned and turn it into actionable steps so you can improve your mental health,
physical health, and performance, and become the best possible version of yourself.
Before we begin, I'd like to emphasize that this podcast is separate from my teaching and research
roles at Stanford.
It is, however, part of my desire and effort to bring zero cost to consumer information about
science and science-related tools to the general public. In keeping with that theme, today's
episode does include sponsors. And now for my discussion with DJ Shipley. DJ Shipley, welcome.
Thanks so much for having me, men. Let's talk about mental health, physical health, and
spiritual health, but not all it wants. You talk a lot about, and you post a lot about mental
health. But I've noticed that a lot of that takes on a sort of a protocoly approach where you use
physical steps to approach mental health and vice versa. So what's your framework on this thing
that we call mental health? I'm not asking you to solve the mental health crisis in one swoop,
but when you think about your own mental health, the people close to you, people you've worked
with in the teams, you know, how do you approach mental health as a concept and as an actionable thing?
I've lived so many different stages in my life.
High points and low points and everything in between.
And at my lowest point, I had no physical connection.
I was either down hard with an injury, coming back from surgery,
and then my mental health rapid decline right after that.
And for someone who never suffered from mental health issues,
it's shocking.
And you feel like you're the only person going through it,
especially when you come from a subculture of special operations.
Nobody ever talks about it.
So when you find yourself in that dark room alone,
really contemplating some terrible things,
it's hard to wrap your head around
because you're the only person
that's ever gone through it.
And, you know,
had some really good strength coaches
and coming back from injuries
and the better I got physically,
my mental health naturally
started to pull out of it.
But everything we did was for the group.
So all my physical attributes,
everything I'm training is for the betterment of the group.
Now it's betterment of my family,
of my tribe, or whatever I have.
But, you know, I talk about this thing,
stacking up micro wins.
my morning routine is structured in a way to where I can do that same routine everywhere I go everywhere at any point a day I can lock that thing in but it all starts with an evening routine so when my phone goes off at 5 a.m. and I spring feet out of bed I know exactly what I'm going to do for the next 12 minutes to put myself in position to not be stressed. So I've got to power down my home life and I've just got to think about what's coming next. So playing out the clothes night before my bottle of water is filled my pills are out my toothbrush is out everything is
is set. So as soon as I get up, by the time I get to making my morning cup of coffee,
I've done 25 things inside of my control. Do you know off the top of your head what those
things are right now that maybe you could just list them off? You said your alarm clock goes off
5 a.m. And that's regardless of when you went to sleep. Regardless when I went to sleep,
typically. I mean, if I'm out here, I'm on a different time zone and I can change it. But if you
get to bed at midnight or you get to bed at 9 p.m. or you get to bed at 2 a.m., alarm goes off at 5 a.m.
You're up. And my wife gave me this the other day. I came home on a red eye.
I didn't walk through the door until 2.30 in the morning.
And alarm clock goes off of five, and she rolls over, and she's like, what are you doing?
I'm going to work.
And she's like, you can take a day off.
Like, no, I'm not taking a day off.
This last five days is the first time in as long as I can, 20 years, that I've actually taken five days of not working out when I had the physical ability to do it.
I've never taken five days off because I'm so afraid my mental health will drop.
Something will happen if I leave that routine.
So I wake up, unplug my phone, shut off the alarm.
walk in, toothpaste on toothbrush. I go to the bathroom while I'm brushing my teeth, spit it out,
all the pills I got to take in the morning, you know, vitamin D, all the stuff I take. And then I get
dressed. Left sock, right sock, right shoe, everything I do, I do it in a very specific order.
Even the way I put on my bracelets, if I put them on in the wrong order, I'll stop and I'll
de-jock them all and I'll redone them. Just because that's one simple thing, I'm not rushed.
I'm not under duress. I'm in control this entire timeline. And that way when I get to the kitchen,
And I don't feel like I'm frantic wearing my keys,
where's my wallet, where's my bag.
Everything's in a system right now
to where I can step in that car.
I'm not stuck behind a school bus.
My car has gas in it.
My phone's at 100%.
Because we've all been there.
Everybody's a normal person.
I wake up.
My wife wants to have a 15-minute conversation.
That puts me behind that school bus
and I'm typically not behind.
Now I'm late for my first meeting.
I've got to rush through my workout.
I don't have time to take a shower.
All that is going to cascade.
It's going to put me to be the person
I don't want to be when I have to walk into that first meeting.
It's like I'm trying to optimize everything that's within my control.
So when I step through the threshold, this is a DJ that I'm purposely presenting to you right now under my control.
And that really sets the entire framework for the whole day of being in a good headspace.
I'm controlling the things that are controllable and the things that I can't control.
I don't think about them anymore.
I block them out.
I love the regimen and your adherence to it.
I'm curious about your mindset when the alarm goes off, meaning where is your head?
head. I guess I know you're human, and I understand enough about the brain to make an assumption,
which is that you don't wake up every morning with the alarm going off at five thinking,
great, I'm going to get up and just roll right into the day, that there may be times when
you consider, you know, going into fetal position, you know, it's warm under those covers,
but also that your mind like anyone else is probably start spinning. It leaps to the past,
So you have a little more stress than you'd like a little more lethargy, this kind of thing.
Do you purposely stack up to-dos so that you stay out of all of that?
And if some of that persists as you're brushing your teeth, what's the way of dealing with that?
I just keep pushing.
I just keep myself in motion the entire time.
And I talk about dials not switches a lot with people.
And it sounds selfish, but I have to be selfish right now in order to be selfless later.
So I tell guys, you know, as soon as that a long clock goes off, I'm not thinking about my wife, I'm not thinking about my kids, I'm thinking about being as efficient as humanly possible, and I'm trying to hit that gym so I unrack at 07, the best version of me.
And I can't do it if I'm thinking about a fight or an argument we have with the wife the night before, the kids and this and that.
I have to be selfish right now because it's the only block I'm going to have for me to optimize myself because at 10 a.m., I'm going to get pulled from 50 different directions.
it's the exact same thing when I go home.
So now between the hours of 10 a.m. and 6 p.m., I'm only thinking about work.
I don't think of my wife, don't think about my kids, I only think about the team and everything we're trying to do.
At six, you can watch and I tell everybody, if you would put a hidden camera in my car, it'd break the internet.
I do it every day. I slam that car in the park. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb.
I check social. I check all my texts. I'm good. There's no phone calls, and I've got a 12-minute drive from door to door.
Those 12 minutes I put on Chris Stapleton, something that makes me feel good, it calms me down.
and I pre-rehearse everything that's going to happen the moment I hit that garage door opener.
Really?
I do it every single day.
I realize it's personal, but to the extent that you're willing, maybe share a couple of what you're rehearsing.
I pull onto the driveway, I slam it back in park, I check my phone one more time, and I tell myself,
you're only going to have three hours from six to nine to be the person they need you to be.
You've got to be a full-time dad right now.
You can be a full-time husband, and I don't get it right every time.
Some days I drag that stuff home with me, two-hand texting frantically, but I really try not.
to. And before I hit that garage door, I tell myself, like, they don't know what's going on.
They don't know the stress you're out at work. She's had her own day. They've had their own day.
I've got a daughter in seventh grade. I've got another one second grade. Like, you know,
we got to work through this whole thing together. And it's like, what version of me do I want to
present to them right now? I'm going to walk in, bags over my right shoulder. I'm going to clear
the threshold and make the immediate 90 degree turn and there's going to be that seven-year-old.
And she's a huge ball of energy. She gets all shaking. She runs up and me at full blast and I pick her up.
Shake her, kiss her, like 100% love.
Take an immediate right in the kitchen.
There's my oldest, usually eating something before homework's about to start.
Give her a kiss, give her a hug, ask her how her day was, straight to the room to see my wife.
Because she gets like a 30-minute buffer before she has to go upstairs and lock in with seventh grade homework.
Check her, what do you need?
If you can fold the towels, if you can start dinner, done, boom, boom, boom, boom.
So my last interaction in the morning was positive.
I left on a positive note.
The first interaction you're getting at the end of the day is in a positive note.
and regardless of how I'm feeling, if I have to fake it, I'll fake it.
I got three hours, and if you space out of the course of the five days,
I don't have a lot of time to make positive memories.
Just because of work and stress and everything else,
I'm trying to maximize those three hours.
And then when I do, it feels like you can do no wrong,
but every night after we finish dinner, me and my wife do a 20-minute walk.
Ten minutes for her, so as soon as we started, tell me about your day.
Everything she wants to vent through, everything we had to get caught up on,
we had the halfway mark right around this park, and then it's my turn for 10 minutes.
Average human can walk a mile in 20 minutes, help circadian rhythm, helps digestion.
I mean, mental clarity, I'm not on my phone.
There's no stimulus.
I mean, I'm watching the sunset.
But now it's 20 minutes just for us to reconnect, and we do it every single day,
unless it's a torrential downpour.
We're doing it every single night, and our marriage has never been better.
My physical health has never been better.
And then my time with my kids, I can be accountable for every single minute in my day
did I maximize that opportunity?
No, why?
Because I drugged that dude home with me from, you know,
2.30 in the afternoon, I drug him all the way home until 6.
That's not who they need.
They don't need a commando.
They don't need a business owner.
They don't need an entrepreneur.
They need a dude that's going to have a tea party right now
or a guy that's going to talk about how difficult navigating seventh grade is.
Like, she really needs a husband that's going to be fully present
because I haven't been for the majority of our marriage.
I've been gone, you know, 300 days out of the year.
She really just needs a buddy who's going to help parent.
And if I'm not mentally there, I'm never going to get there.
So I set conditions where I can be the person I need to be,
no matter what threshold I'm walking through.
And it's been hugely beneficial for me.
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what an awesome example and the two-dos are super impressive i wonder if we could just explore a little
bit of the uh to not do's uh a lot of what you described it's clear requires having the phone away
i mean i could go on and on about phones but the incoming is incessant right you know and the
temptation is really tough to deal with so when you walk in the door because you're with family phone
is in the car or it's just shut off. During the day, when you're going about your work,
is it understood that if your wife wants to get a hold of you, she can, but that there's a high
threshold for that? Because I think a lot of couples get into, you know, like just pinging each other
here and there, this and that. Even in business teams, there's a lot of unnecessary communication.
I'm fortunate now that my wife actually works inside the business, so she gets it and she knows
that once I lock in, when that camera turns on, that microphone goes on, you got to leave me alone.
And I tell people, like, I'm not trained to do this.
I'm a normal dude, so I'm really successful to negative energy, and they know better.
Don't slam me with something negative before I have to turn that microphone on, because I'm not going to be able to compartmentalize it all the way.
I need to be the best version of me right now, so wait until I'm done and then deliver the bad news.
And she's the same way.
She's an absolute gangster.
And she knows.
She's like, hey, when you get done today, we got to talk.
I'm like, what is?
And she says, nothing bad.
It'll definitely be something bad.
But she doesn't even give me an inkling because she knows it'll rob me a bandwidth.
with. She's like, go do what you do. As soon as you get done, we'll talk. And on that 20-minute walk, she'll drop it. But now we're here. I'm in a clear headspace. I've had a productive day. We've had a great 10 minutes into this. Now he met the bad news. Last 10 minutes, we'll solve it together. But not getting on that social media first thing in the morning. I used to be the guy. I'd roll over. I immediately open up Instagram and I'm checking it. What are the comments? How's the posting doing? How's this? How's that? You'll stay there for 40 minutes. And then if you see something negative, I'll wear that jacket all day long. I can't get it away from me.
So I don't take a Zoom call, I don't take a phone call.
There's nothing that happens inside of my orbit before 10 a.m.
From 7 to 10, that's my morning block.
I've got the whole team in there.
We do fitness from 7 to 9.
I make them all do a 20-minute walk.
I make the whole team protein shakes.
I take a shower, and at 10 a.m.
I walk out.
Hit me with it.
What are we got to do?
We're going to range and my training, and we're shooting content.
What are we doing right now?
You have full bandwidth until I leave here.
And if I run until midnight, we run until midnight.
But you have both barrels of me at 100% because I've controlled that.
entire morning routine and it's been the best thing that's ever happened us but you've got to be
consistent it's like everything else what's the best diet the one you'll stick to and that morning
routine has been the biggest game changer i've had that's awesome i feel like um the teams i've been
fortunate to know and work with some folks in from the teams uh seem to have what i call kind of an
unconscious genius like the uh as a whole as a system we could talk about buds we could talk about select
for tier one stuff.
We talk about any of that, and we will,
but it seems to me that a lot of the practices
that are built up in the teams
and in team guys who are successful
when they transition out
are built around this notion,
I just call unconscious genius,
where they weren't thinking about
like what's the underlying neural circuitry
or this and that.
And everything you describe, by the way,
is extremely actionable for anybody.
I love that you told us,
and I'm gonna underscore this,
highlight it and bold it right now,
is that it doesn't matter if you want to do
bed at 2.30 a.m. or you went to bed at midnight, you're getting up at the same time. It's
actually critical for keeping sleep rhythms healthy. And one thing from the literature I'll just
share is that it's clear that if people have the same wake-up time each day, that whatever
sleep they get prior to that wake-up time, you get the maximum amount of growth hormone
release that's possible, which is, of course, crucial for recovery, not just growing muscles,
but recovery, et cetera. So there's that. You guys came to that. There's that kind of, you didn't
need to know the science, you just arrived at it. But also, the brain is so context-dependent.
And throughout your description, I'm hearing that, you know, if you'll wear that jacket all day long,
like, it can pull you in. I mean, you're a strong-minded individual. You know how to control your
own behavior, clearly, but you are susceptible like anybody else. And I was think of mental state
as, you know, we can either be like a ball bearing on a flat surface where that ball bearing can go
anywhere with even just the slightest tilt or even a breeze versus, you know, little dimples
in that surface where it can kind of reside, but it could get blown out or pushed out easily.
And ultimately, what we're all seeking is to drop like a ball bearing into a trench and rage bait
and numbing out, which are the two kind of core features of social media, except there's this other
opportunity to learn.
I feel like those drop us immediately into that trench.
And so I feel like our brain wants to be the ball-bearing at the bottom of that trench,
but it's tempting to not do the work to get there.
And so there are things in the world, highly processed, highly palatable foods,
you know, certain aspects of social media,
because I don't think all of it is unhealthy,
that provide that opportunity to drop into that trench.
And so clearly the unconscious genius here is that you arrived at,
it seems an understanding that you're very context-dependent.
You know, it's not that you're so robust internally that you can throw anything your way.
It's exactly because you're, if I may, you're not that robust internally that you understand the brain, that you can't let anything come your way.
But if you set the context internally, then the rest of your day is maybe not a breeze, but it's workable.
And you'll stay that ball bearing in the trench that you're determining.
Do I have that right?
Exactly.
Okay.
So I think this is important because I think a lot of people hear about special operators and high performers and their structure and their routine.
And they assume they wake up and they're like into the day, nothing's going to bother me.
It's because things have the potential to bother you that you have to structure it that way.
Okay.
For me, that's very helpful to hear.
And I think you're also defining the difference between an artist.
I know a lot of artists who need it.
They kind of float about their day.
They're two hours late to things.
And then the stuff emerges, right?
I mean, I can tell you stories about people in Los Angeles
and how meeting times, and I'm a little guilty of this,
but it's incredible the way that things just kind of orbit around certain people,
but then they bring the magic,
and so the world continues to orbit around them,
versus an operator.
And I feel like everything you described is like the essence of being an operator.
You're approaching your civilian life the same way, presumably you did,
your operating life.
So let's say you have a morning where,
something goes wrong. There's no toothpaste in the toothbrush. Or something more serious. Like,
your wife really needs to talk about something. Maybe she's so, you know, you know, together that
that never happens. Will you forego those minutes or do you make, or how do you, how do you deal with that?
The situation really dictates when I was in, I wouldn't. I'd wake up before everybody else is
in there. And it's a lot of stuff I tell her the new guys in special operations. Like,
if you sacrifice your sleep, when it doesn't affect anyone,
else, you can really lay the foundation for greatness, right?
Your first four years, don't rush to make her your girlfriend, don't make her your wife,
don't have a kid, don't get a dog, just focus on being a green bray, focus on being a Navy seal,
and just do that.
Then when that girlfriend turns in her fiancé, you can have the bandwidth to do them both.
It's very hard to do that job, you know, build that boat at the high seas, and now you're dragging
your wife into it.
It's hard to do.
But, you know, situation dictates if it's something I really have to solve, we really have
to solve it, but she knows no matter what, I'm unwracking at 07. I'm not missing us for you.
I'm not missing for anybody else because she knows what's going to happen. So she'll either grab
me at lunch. Hey, do you have a block here? We can talk for sure. We'll maybe start the initial
conversation. If it starts going south or anything it's going to take long, I'll look out of my watch.
Honey, I got to go. I got 12 minutes to be there. She's like, okay, we'll catch up at lunch.
Cool. And we'll go. I can't miss morning movement. I can't do it. That will ruin my day.
And if I'm rushed through morning movement, if somebody comes in, somebody beats on the door and they're like, hey, we were in the neighborhood, just wanted to come see you. Can we talk for 20 minutes? No. You can't. No. I'm sorry. And I know it sounds bad. You can't because I know what happens if I miss this day. And I'm not willing to take the chance on you right now. You can wait an hour. Wait a time done. But it's hard. And now we've kind of restructured the whole day to where I can get my time in in the morning and I can leave with just enough time to see my kids wake up now.
they're pouring cereal, so now I get that little dopamine hit of seeing them, and I kick off
their morning in a positive way.
Right, I'm doing red light therapy in the morning.
I'm still going to unrack at 0.7.
I'm still getting up at 5, but now I'm just in the house, getting everything processed.
I'm going to leave on my terms, and that way they get to see me first thing in the morning.
I only get three hours at night.
Well, if I get 30 minutes in the morning, stack it over the course of a year, that's a huge difference.
It's like we've restructured the entire day, but the whole team is also on that exact same schedule.
right it's not just me it's not just my world
business partners coal and everybody else
everybody who does that morning block of fitness
that's why I've been pushing this whole time
and if you look at anybody in the military
anybody in the fire department
anybody in special operations
and military in general
everybody's day always starts with fitness
when you're in boot camp you wake up
you do a workout and then you eat
when you go into buds you wake up
you work out essentially all day long
go to sleep it's the same thing
when you get to the seal team you do the same thing
Everybody wakes up, everybody does fitness, the very first thing, and then we start our day.
It's been really successful.
Why would I ever break that?
You see guys, when you transition out, they get away from it, they gain a bunch of weight.
They start drinking.
You working out five days a week?
No.
Why?
You've been doing it since you were 17 years old.
Why would you break it now?
Why?
Yeah, why do you think that that happens?
I think guys use excuses, injuries, limitations, lack of motivation.
Like, oh, there's no reason for me to be in shape.
Longevity of life.
everybody says oh i take a bullet for my kids you won't lose 40 pounds for him you won't prolong life if you think you're a real asset to your family why wouldn't you try to maximize that time so i look at them out it doesn't take a whole lot like you don't have to be david gaggans you don't have to run 100 miles a day you can wake up and do a 20 minute walk every single day and you'll be better off for it you could grab a set of kettlebells 30 minutes in your garage that is something every single day that makes you exponentially better just through the repetition of being there being present
being a little selfish right now, so you can be selfish later.
So for me, if I don't get that workout in, and everybody's got stuff going on, I do too,
if I don't get that block of fitness in, I will think about that all day long.
I'll think about it for weeks.
We go back the next time we hit that muscle group, I don't get the same numbers I thought I would.
Well, that's because I took Monday off.
I'm never going to put myself in that position.
I don't want to have an excuse.
So I set the foundation, I lay it down, I stamped it on a piece of paper.
That's what I'm doing.
I'm not compromising on it.
And it's been great for us.
That's awesome.
I mean,
as somebody who got into resistance training in his teens and running,
I confess over the years I felt some guilt around working out because in my community of scientists,
I mean, now I have a much broader community.
You know, you go to meetings, everyone's sitting all day and eating bad food.
And then, you know, and then it was happy hour.
I was never much of a drinker, but I would participate a bit until,
Eventually, I just stopped drinking entirely.
And occasionally I would sneak off during some of the, I'll just be honest, the weak talks.
I was like, I've seen this person speak before.
I'm going to get a workout in.
And only once did I ever run into a colleague in the gym at one of these places.
And we both were like, it was like getting caught doing something bad.
Yeah.
But then the years went by and I saw my colleagues start to die.
I saw my colleagues start to get sick.
I saw my colleagues start to resemble melted candles.
And these were people that had a lot of robust.
And they also had a lot to offer and families and friends.
And so I think nowadays people think about physical fitness a little bit differently.
They understand it's an investment and therefore it's beneficial to the people around you.
But I still see a lot of people kind of couch it, especially with respect to anything that relates to muscle as kind of selfish and narcissistic and this kind of thing.
And I think it's so important that people understand the mental health benefits, but also the benefits that it can bring the people in your life.
and not just longevity, but just the person that it brings.
You really understand yourself.
You know, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking about, you know, the Oracle, know thyself.
It's like so important.
If you don't get that workout, you're going to have to force out being best husband, best dad, best teammate.
And if you do get that workout, they still get that best dad, everything, but it's that much more genuine and it comes, it probably is in abundance.
One of the things that nobody ever talks about is your body awareness.
You do fitness for a long time, 50 years old, you've been doing fitness for a very long time.
You are so in tune with that vessel that when something does pop up, you identify it right away.
When you don't, you're like, that kind of hurts.
Where?
You don't know.
I'm in tune with that thing so well, though when I walk into a doctor, I'm like, take a needle three inches down, rotate it over 45 degrees, and that's where it is.
I'm like, okay, this is it.
I'm so in tune with it.
So when anything pops up, I can diagnose it.
I can walk in and give them actual feedback of what's happening.
I'm not just sitting on the couch all day long, just,
my neck kind of hurts.
No, I know exactly what it is.
I'm doing a full diagnostic approach the entire day,
and that's why I've got Vernon.
I mean, he's the best strength coach in the world.
If I wouldn't have that guy, I would be, I mean, he's brought me back from the dead more times than I can count.
But it's five days a week.
I mean, he's in there every day.
So if I walk in and I've got a slight limp on my left side, he's like, hey, my man, come over.
What is that?
And I was like, I have nothing.
He's a bruise heel?
Yeah, how did you know it was a bruise?
too. It's like, I watch that broad jump on Friday.
Like, you landed a little funky. I wanted to see if he's going to mess with you.
He ID did it. I just wouldn't get to say anything.
Okay, what are you going to do about it, right?
Be pro-act instead of reactive.
But that's because you're chipping away and, you know,
you're understanding yourself so well because you are constantly in tune with your body.
And people just forget about it.
Like, why aren't you sleeping?
Or I had caffeine at 4 o'clock.
Oh, I'm accountable for everything I put in my body and then everything comes out of me.
The gym's just one of the methods that really ties them all.
all together for me.
The body awareness piece, I think, is something that we should also underscore a bit.
I think one thing that happens if people don't develop body awareness is that they don't
learn the difference between something that hurts and an injury.
A few years ago, right before going on Kim Haines' podcast where, you know, you carry that rock.
I was about to say he makes you carry the rock, but you don't have to.
You know, you carry the rock.
It's things heavy.
He's 72 pounds.
Slippery, it's muddy.
It's 1,000 feet of elevation.
And people do it, right?
You can do it.
but I'd popped a hamstring on the hamstring
on the hamstring curl machine like a couple days before.
But I didn't pop, pop it.
Like, it didn't unravel up the tendon.
So I was like, I'm just not going to talk about it.
I'm not going to say anything.
I'm not going to, because that's going to create its own thing.
I was like, I'm hurt.
It hurt, but I'm not injured.
And knowing that line is really important
because if you are injured, it'd be the stupidest thing in the world
to carry that rock up that hill, right?
You end up out for six months, potentially, or four months.
I had years ago a back pain, kind of sciatica thing,
and I couldn't stand up.
And I actually was online.
It was Instagram, and I have no business affiliation to this kid,
but there was a, I think he's a chiropractor.
He has this channel called Rehab Fix.
And he convinced me that what I need to do
with some like up dog things,
it looks like you're kind of like humping the floor.
You know, your pelvis is down
and you're pushing up and repeat those.
It's kind of like lizard push-ups, you know?
And then against the wall,
if you can't actually do that from the floor.
Within three days, it resolved itself.
And I was thinking about pain meds, which I don't like to take.
In fact, I avoid them entirely.
I was saying, am I going to have to have surgery?
I mean, I could not stand up.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't do it.
And I realized then, I was like, okay, the line between hurt and truly injured is often
kind of blurry, and you need to be able to work through that space.
And you think about this through one lens and it sounds like a selfish thing,
oh, it's all about being able to work out more.
You think about it through another lens, it's people who think they're injured or who are in pain,
and don't resolve that are very difficult to be around, very difficult.
I've been that person.
It's just everything grates on you.
And male, female, young, or old, people now, you know, they'll talk about their neck or they
sleep right in.
I think being able to suck stuff up is really great.
It's also important to know when you have a real issue.
And so the body awareness thing, I think, is a gift to oneself.
You can avoid a lot of costs, a lot of unnecessary medical interventions.
You can know when it's time to take action with proper medical intervention.
but also it really allows you to be in life with people
without being the person that's always complaining about stuff
or is just difficult.
I think a lot of people who are difficult are in pain
and they don't know how to resolve that pain.
And they think they have a problem with pain,
so then they take pain medication,
and that's a whole cycle.
So I just wanted to underscore that kind of where we're headed here,
it seems again and again,
is with, you know, what seems selfish
is actually one of the most selfless things you can do.
let's talk about what you call unwracking at 07
tier 1 operator
former tier 1 operators of the lingo
so that I'm guessing is that unwracking the weight
that's when the workout starts phone is off
phone's on because we run an app on it
okay we have Vernon Griffith
but you're not looking at text messages
no and you're not shooting selfies of your calves and biceps
right I point that out in semi jest
because I always joked that the first rep of every set
now seems to be guys in the gym
taking pictures of themselves the last rep
of every set seems to be guys taking pictures of themselves.
So 07. So what's that workout look like? You're doing it five days a week. I know it's going to be
different for different people, but you have this program that I really want to explore with you today
about how to measure progress and set standards and meet new standards, higher standards.
What does that workout look like for you?
So I leaned up with Vernon right when I was getting medically retired around 2019.
I came back from a gnarly shoulder injury. I blew it. I had a dislocation. It came through my armpit,
shredded out everything. And I went from about 2.15 to about 180 pounds. Got stuck in a rehab
clinic in Bethesda, Maryland for 31 days inpatient. And I came out like death warmed over.
Worst I've ever been in my life. Worst my mental health has ever been, I did not want to play
the game anymore. And the Navy SEAL Foundation hooked you up with this physical rehabilitation
program in Virginia Beach, ran by a former SEAL, and Vernon was the lead strain conditioning coach.
and he was my coach
and we walked in
we did full body assessments
and what's interesting about him
is he took all your limitations
in develop concepts
and movements
to establish confidence
in that area
so when I came back
you know day one he's like
okay let's try to hang from the bar
I looked right at him
no he's like what
no
I'm not hanging from that bar
I'm done
like I've done more pull-ups
than most people on the planet
my pull-up days are done then
like I'm not doing it
again, he goes, you got to trust me.
It's not going to happen on day one.
Slowly but surely.
I mean, he's at the point where he's holding my knees.
I can't even extend my arm overhead.
That's humbling.
For a guy that was a Tier 1 operator, that's humbling.
I was so bound up by fear that it was going to come because that was my first shoulder
surgery.
And if you've never had one, shoulder surgery is the worst rehab I've ever had.
And I've had a lot of them.
The shoulder rehab was brutal.
And I didn't want it to pop.
And I'd extend and I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
And he's like, you just got to trust me, man.
Like, Dr.
cleared you, the anchors have set.
Everything is there, but you cannot go through the rest of your life like this.
He's like, you're not even 40.
He's like, do you want to go another 40 years without doing a pull-up?
You're going to have to trust me.
He'd pick me up by the legs.
I'd put my arm on there and he'd slowly but surely start to extend me down until we
got full range of motion.
And we did that for days and weeks.
Then we went through a band.
Then we took the band off.
I just want you to hang.
Now we're going to focus on going back up.
And we built back to, I mean, I can do sets of 25 pullups now.
You're pulling your weight, which is what right now?
I'm like 215.
You're 6-1-215?
Yeah.
And you're doing sets of 20.
Yeah, 225.
Non-KIP pull-up.
Yep.
And it's all bouncing back from him.
But the whole program we did, you know, because I'm not a unicorn by any means,
but I've had all the injuries that everybody else has had.
I've had double hip surgery.
I've had double shoulder surgery.
I've had my abdomen blown through a couple times.
I mean, I've had them all.
I've had thumbs I've had to rebuild and blown through, blown through.
I mean, just everything.
When I got electrocuted, it blew out everything.
And we had to rebuild that entire thing.
So all the guys that are in this process, if you're a SWAT team, a fireman, on a SEAL team, anybody in between, we've all got injuries to become limitations.
And we just avoid them.
You can't avoid them forever.
And this program is designed to get you back in shape.
And it grows with you as you go.
So every single week, you're chasing numbers and week before and put.
On the days you don't have it, on the days you wake up and you're bound up, just lacking motivation, we're going with 100% of what we have to offer.
That might be 75%. I'm given 100% of the 75 I have today.
But Monday's a pull day from the floor, usually trap bar dead lifts.
And we do those because of all the injuries.
I've got a really long torso.
It puts my back at a weird precarious situation, so we do trap bar deadlifts.
We do those, a lot of pull-up work, a lot of grip work, a lot of core stability stuff.
Tuesday is a press day, heavy upper body, bench, incline, that kind of stuff.
Wednesday is an upper body, lower body, disassociation.
So we get the upper body moving in one direction, the lower body moving the other.
A lot of course.
An example of that.
We'll do a lot of bandied work.
We'll drop down to a knee, like almost in a shooting position.
And we'll do cross-body pools with bands, resistance training, but just, you know,
rotational stuff and sort of anti-rotation stuff.
On that day, we'll do plio stuff, box jumps, height, distance, and broad.
jump, that kind of stuff. Farmers carry walks, all the stuff, just trying to connect all the
dots. Thursday is the most brutal leg day you've ever had, and it's amazing. We've got a belt squat
machine. So anybody who walks in, regardless of the injuries and limitations you have, we have
equipment to accommodate that. And when you say brutal leg day, I have a belt squat, I love that
thing. I love throwing a lot of weight on that thing. It's nice. It doesn't load the spine up,
But, yeah, it's a, I like to think it's brutal.
Can you describe, are you talking about like an hour and a half, two hours of low, low weight, high weight, pretty high repetitions?
So high weight, high repetitions.
Trying to.
Yeah.
Always trying to push.
But a lot of single leg movements, Bulgarian split squats, I mean, a lot of lunges, a lot of lunges with heavy weight.
I mean, 70 pounds in each hand.
For me, that's a lot of weight.
So not calf raises leg curls.
No.
But on days, some days we'll do a feel-good day.
Like some days we'll come in, he'll take a pulse of the whole room and he'll go,
we're all going to hit the same muscle groups.
We're just going to do it in a more traditional.
So we're going to do hamstring curls, leg extensions.
We're going to do belt squats.
We're going to do pulsing lunges, really just pump the blood flow and just chase a really good pump.
Everybody loves doing that.
And Friday's a really, it's a feel-good day.
It's an arm day.
We'll do some shoulders, some accessory work.
You know, and then we add it in sprints in between probably two to three days a week.
You know, 200-meter repeats, three.
300 meter repeats.
Done where in the workout?
In between sets?
At the end.
At the end.
We always save it at the end.
We always did that with the military too.
It always ends with a run.
And I've tried every combination.
Doing sprints, you know, pre and post,
and it really just zaps a workout for me.
Yeah, Pavel Satsoulins, you know,
the Pavel Satsun sat in that chair right where you're at now
and said, you know, if your goal is hypertrophy
and you're going to come into a pumping workout,
it doesn't really matter if you do cardio first or last.
But if you're going to,
if you're serious about strength and performance and form,
do your cardio after.
if at all, you know, because a lot of times those kettlebell workouts
or some of these leg workouts, they're not, quote, unquote, cardio,
but they definitely get heart rate up in a serious way.
So on Wednesday, if we're doing a sprint workout,
it might be 10 by 40, 50 meters sprints, right?
Nothing crazy.
We'll do that at the very beginning,
get the fast switch muscle fibers going,
and then we'll do whatever the normal Wednesday workout is.
And then we go to the flat range every Wednesday.
So we train.
We bring him out too, so all the stance, the grip, the presentation,
everything we talk about in the tactical setting.
He's there with us.
So when I talk about flexing your right glute to add stability to a stable shooting platform,
he's there driving home.
This is why it's important.
Think big toe down, drive your heel down.
So, I mean, he's as much of a coach as I am on the flat range, but he can connect the dots so well,
and that's why I love him.
He's not going to let you take that limitation and then live it forever.
You don't want to be like that.
And it doesn't help these bigger, stronger, faster than everybody else.
So you've always got a good lifting buddy to kind of chase.
He always pushes you.
But he's so good at navigating the human terrain.
Because some days I'll walk in and whatever's happened over the week.
He'll see me in the morning.
He'll look at me like, how are we holding up?
I'm like, 100%.
Yeah, yeah, come over here.
What's going on?
I'll talk to him.
He's like, we'll shake it all out.
We've got two hours here, just us.
Nothing else matters.
Let's just focus on this.
And I find myself pacing a lot.
So in between sets, I'll block out everything else.
I'm not thinking about social.
I'm not thinking about my wife, not thinking about the business.
I'm thinking about putting myself in the best mental spot to pull that off
the floor at 100% with no distractions. And I think that's why I like it so much because it allows
me to isolate my thoughts. Nothing else matter. You don't matter. This doesn't matter. Just that
movement. Let me get through that. The best of my ability. Set it down, recog, walk around. Get ready for the
next one. Here we go. Eight reps. I'm going to put so much intent behind this pull that if I get
eight or 12, it doesn't matter. Every single one is all out. And, you know, Doreen Yates talks about
But intensity is what really drives.
And I really try to drive intent behind everything I do now.
And yeah, he's a huge, man, I can't tell you how many times he's brought me back.
I mean, the worst injuries you can imagine.
And he's there every single time.
And I think that's why so many people get on with it because they see the injuries you've gone through.
And it's like, well, you can still perform at a high level.
Only because I'm, I don't want to say I'm even ego-driven.
I've been so ingrained in the sitting with the routine
that doesn't matter what injuries I've had.
I mean, I come out and we've got pictures of me in there,
double slings.
Like when I got electrocuted, double swings,
I can't even tie my shoes.
He's tying my shoes.
Like, he's putting the belt squat on me.
I'm squatting down.
He's clipping it in.
He's unracking it, the entire thing.
Like, he's my guy.
Tell us his first and last name.
Vernon Griffith.
And you met him when you were injured, right?
And he's a former operator as well.
He's not.
So his business partner was a former operator.
He was actually in the Air Force and transitioned out, got a strength conditioning, all his qualls.
And he's got such an interesting look to mobility, impact.
And the high-level athletes that come through him, and that's really what it is.
He gets big guys tricked into doing mobility and liking it because nobody wants to do mobility.
It's not a sexy thing to do.
I mean, we get first-round draft picks that are pouring through that gym all week long.
And you see him because it's the truth.
Like, we're trying to keep you at a super high level as long as humanly possible.
The average guy plays in the NFL, like, three years.
But I'm trying to keep you in there for 12.
How are we going to do it?
You have to maintain that vessel at a super high level
because all these young kids are trying to knock you off the team.
And then the reality of the sport is trying to knock you off the team as well.
So we got to keep you really, really mobile and healthy.
And I've never seen anybody that can connect thoughts better than that guy.
He's an absolute lifesaver.
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The way you describe him and your interactions with him, it almost takes on a sort of mythical, like, quality.
I mean, like, we could be talking about a movie, but this is real.
And we'll talk about just how real it is.
Some very real things have happened to you by virtue of the high-risk high-risk high-consum.
consequence career that you undertook but you know when you hear about this person who's able to
bring back a high performer and then get him to exceed his previous notions of what he could do
and under conditions of duress and hopelessness it's you know this is real life though this is not
this is in star wars this is real life and um so uh without ever having met him you know
i can feel the uh the respect and and the admiration and the gratitude you have for him and
I'm sure everyone else can too.
It's a, this is the stuff of mythology.
But it's real.
So here's what I know about you.
You live in Virginia Beach.
At one point you were interested in skateboarding and partook in skateboarding.
At some point, you decided to become a Navy SEAL.
At some point, you got electrocuted.
Fill in the blanks for us.
Yeah, man.
I was born in San Diego, California.
My dad was a seal.
My mom was in a Navy.
So when my dad graduated, my mom was nine months.
pregnant with me. So his whole first four years at, you know, the West Coast SEAL teams,
I was one of the only kids there. So kind of grew up in the culture, you know, really ingrained
into it. My first bottle. It's my first bottle. I'm wearing a SEAL Team One onesie. I mean,
you literally were raised on Coronado. Yeah. So I did that. We moved to the East Coast. You
got transition over to the East Coast. I grew up the rest of my time there. I fell in love of
skateboarding. That's all I wanted to do. I wanted to go pro. Got to do a fight with the old man around
15 years old, something like that, and he signed me up for summer school to graduate early.
So I graduated at 17, hit delayed entry program, joining Navy a month later.
Was that a contentious interaction? I mean, I mean, skateboarding was clearly not the right career
for you. I mean, I'm sure you would have done exceedingly well there, but having grown up a bit in
that culture and also knowing a bit about the culture you eventually decided on, you know,
It's hard to say which one is, you know, the better career choice.
One is definitely more life-threatening, which is that in many ways.
But you just said, okay, like, you're a Navy SEAL.
You want me to be a Navy SEAL, so I'm going to hang it up?
It was always in the back of your mind.
Like, that was always what you thought you were going to do.
But at 15 years old, in your mind, you can do them both.
You're like, oh, I can be a professional skateboarder, and then I can be a Navy SEAL later.
You don't realize what it actually takes to do it, even though you grow up in the culture.
So when that happened, you know, the towers are just,
fell. I was 17 years old, delayed entry program, straight out the Coronado, got through
seal training, came back to the East Coast where I've been essentially my whole life. And, yeah,
joined Navy in 2002 and I got medically retired in 2019 right around 17 years. I think it was 16 years
and like 10 months, something like that. Can I ask you about buds? A lot of people have heard of
buds and they understand that it has a hell week with minimal, if any, sleep, you know, maybe an
hour or two tops, but probably not even that.
How hard was Buds relative to other things that you did in the teams?
You know, I've heard people say it was the hardest thing they ever did.
I've heard some people say it was extremely hard, but not nearly as difficult as like some aspect of, like, guys who hate the jungle and humidity are like, that was worse.
And you never know if people are joking around.
I mean, did you learn a lot in Buds about yourself?
If you can make it through Buzz, you can do anything.
It is such a brutal program.
And I just, a hell week just secured.
And I saw a bunch of the guys took him out the dinner the other night.
And I was explaining to a group of civilians that were out there with them, like, their parents.
Like, you guys all see it.
Every single person does that pipeline.
It's not just buds.
It's, you know, the Q course for Green Berets.
It's rip for the Rangers, Mar-Sox selection.
Every single kid that's doing that selection program is the biggest deal in his hometown.
The biggest thing in his high school, everybody knows he's going in the amount of external pressure.
It's riding on that kid.
unless you've done it, you have no idea.
You just don't.
It's like playing D1 college ball.
Everyone in your family is expecting you to be a pro.
They're expecting you to be in the NFL.
And if you don't get drafted, it's like, oh, my God.
It's so much pressure on you.
And it's the same way.
And it's self-selection because people quit.
They're not, in general, they're not asked to leave.
All of that can happen.
So if somebody doesn't make it through buds, it means they quit.
Yep, pretty much.
And it's a lot of pressure, right?
the GWAT just kicking off, all the instructors were coming back from Afghanistan, and they were
larger than life. You really looked up to them. And I was just very fortunate that I grew up in a
culture, and I knew a lot of the guys going in. So I knew what the in-state was. Most of these kids
are from Biloxi, Mississippi. You've never even seen a Navy SEAL in real life until you showed up
here. I grew up with one. All my family friends were SEAL. We didn't have a single civilian friend
growing up. The only thing I've been around were Commando, so I felt really natural around that
environment, but I knew it was going to suck. I just knew it was. Did your dad have you running with
with him and doing push-ups and things like that at home? Or was it mow the lawn and then go
skateboarding, you know? Moe the lawn, go skateboarding, and then as we transitioned, we got closer,
it was turning on, download the Stu Smith guy to Navy SEAL prep and did that like everybody
else did. It's a phenomenal program for anybody who's trying to go. But I was, I was so young,
I was so immature, didn't have a cell phone, didn't have a car. I lived on the barracks,
and the only thing you had to do was get through the program.
But what I will say is the 17-year-old me that showed up in 2002,
if I would try to be a Navy SEAL in 2025, they wouldn't even take me.
My performance scores, like, you have to pass a screen test, push-ups, pull-ups, run, swim, the whole thing.
Your scores now have to be so competitive, they wouldn't even take in me.
Oh, so the standards have changed?
Standards are the same, but the people going through the program are so better prepared,
they wouldn't even take you.
If you're not, if you're not 120 push-ups, 120, they don't even look at you.
Like for me, I basically barely scratched through.
I was a strong swimmer, but technique wasn't my thing.
And until you take the test, you don't realize how hard it is.
And I got through it, and I went out to buds, and I was successful, but I was by no means a star athlete.
And you guys, Coleman Ruiz, Naval Academy, they are freaks.
They're phenoms.
They are professional athletes.
And there you are, 6-1, 145 pounds.
pot smoke and skateboarder,
we are not on the same level.
But mentally, you couldn't mess with me.
I didn't care.
Like, we're getting surf tortured
and you'd watch these guys
who would just see studs,
get up and quit.
It's not going to stop.
And I feel like I always had the inside scoop.
Like, if you think this is going to end, it's not.
Like, my dad did a lot of diving.
I've seen the conditions they'd dive in
breaking through the ice.
Like, it is only going to get worse, dude.
If this phases you, this is not the program for you.
And I was right, if that phases you, the SEAL team's going to chew you alive.
So not everybody should make it through that program.
I was just fortunate enough that just good enough to get by and, you know, maturity came later.
But Buds was definitely not the hardest thing I've ever had to do at the time it was.
And when you get through it and you see all the, I mean, you start with 200-something people, you graduate less than 20.
It's the 200 of the most physically capable people of that year in the United States Navy, and they couldn't make it.
Did any of the people that not made it through, as well as made it through, surprise you for not making it through or making it through?
Not making it through for sure.
I mean, all the guys that they, you've been around.
Captain Americas.
Navy SEALs have a certain look.
They have a certain mystique, a certain, and they do in training too.
It's not like you just developed that.
You've had it your whole life, and there were definitely guys you look at that look like Dolph Lungert from Rocky.
You look at him, you're like, oh, that dude is definitely going to make it.
He's gone in 20 minutes.
You're like, how?
He passed everything.
He didn't like that cold water.
Okay.
And then you see another guy who, he was worse shape than me, barely squeaked by everything,
and he is the hardest dude you ever met in your life.
Nothing faces him.
Every run, every swim, just miserable.
He doesn't care.
He's kind of, it sounds like you have to not mind being miserable.
You have to get used to.
You have to embrace it.
It's going to suck.
It's supposed to.
And you just got to tell yourself,
it's worth the price of admission.
It's going to be measurable.
You bought the ticket.
You're going to get the whole show
and it's totally worth it.
But you've got to be there at the end.
You mentioned Coleman Ruiz,
who's been a guest on this podcast
as a good friend of mine
and yours as well,
and you worked with him.
And I'm probably going to get this a little bit wrong,
but I think once he said,
because I think he was an instructor
at Buds also for a short while.
I think he said, you know,
when you look at the guys
that make it through Buds,
nine times out of 10,
they've had one, at least one of the following three things.
Either spend some serious time in detention in high school,
played a varsity sport in high school,
divorced parents.
And, you know, that raises a whole bunch of other questions
about, you know, friction and kind of, for lack of a better way to put it,
like some internal sense of like,
F you, I'm going to push through this anyway, or just F you to something.
So when you're going, so let's assume that Coleman,
having given the fact that he's not a,
scientist. He was a former operator, so he knows. Do you think that there were moments or many
moments where it was you against them, like you and your teammates, because you're on boat crew
or whatever with your teammates, you're working as a team and learning how to do that? It's not just
about you. It's about the group. And it's about you. And it's about the expectation. But how many
different bins of motivation do you do you have to access to get through buds is it and is f you
to the instructors or whoever to the cold water is that part is that a critical bin it is and it isn't
because sometimes you get caught up in a moment you don't even think about it you just want to
finish that evolution so when you're doing a four mile time to run that was one of the big things
you have to do a four mile time to run it's got to be i think a seven minute mile or less and nowhere
in there, does it say the condition of the beach matters? So if it's high, tide, low tide,
you have to run it on the berm and soft sand. The time standard is a time standard. And talk to
anybody, at any point in that training, you are going to hit a wall where you think your heart's
going to stop. Like, if I take one more step, I'll die right here. Because your heart rate
so high. And you're like, I can't do it. And at some point, you just don't care. You're like,
I'd rather fall stone cold dead in front of all of them and die right here than I would,
failing or quitting. Yeah, at least you don't have to go home, head hanging, and change.
Exactly. You just push anyway. Sometimes you'll get it, you'll be getting surf tortured by the instructors and just laying down that 60 degree water. It's just miserable. And I tell the story quite a bit. We had dudes getting up leaving, mass access. And the biggest, strongest dudes, it's broad daylight. 70 degrees on Coronado Island, the most beautiful day you've ever seen. We're laying there's just jackhammering. And you look over and all the West Coast SEAL teams are up to your right. And you can see SEAL Team 1 out there doing long PT for like their morning PT.
and you could look it down the left
and you see the Hotel Dell
and this little, what I call a seven-year-old
with a big pink flamingo
jumping in the water
having the best time of life
and I'm like,
it's all about your perspective.
It's a palace or a prison.
However you want to see it right now.
They're still doing it.
That kid, time of their life
and we're in the exact same water.
Just change your mindset.
This is all part of the process
and if you want to wear that shiny gold thing
on your chest, you must do this.
Just do it.
And I remember that was one of the things
like you're not going to break me
no matter what you say, I'll die right here in this water.
I don't care.
And that kind of, that mindset has really been beneficial throughout the entire product.
Because there's parts of, there's parts of buds and parts of being in special operations
where you think it's going to kill you.
And then at a certain point, you just don't care.
If it kills me, it kills me.
I don't care.
And you get through it.
But, you know, I'm so terrified of heights.
Like, I can't jump out of the back of this airplane.
You watch 15 guys going in front of you and you get right to the ram.
You go, I don't care.
And you just, for whatever.
whatever reason, they just jump.
Like, what made you jump?
Everybody else did it.
I didn't want to be the guy who said no.
Sometimes that performance anxiety, that pressure to perform on demand, it gets you through
the hump, and it shows you, there is nothing.
If it can be done by a human being, I can do it.
And it just, it rings true.
It's like, how far can you run as far as I have to?
Well, how fast you run?
As fast as I can.
Like, if you can run that, I can run.
If you can get up and over that mountain, I can do it too.
How are you to do it?
one step at a time brother here we go and it it makes you so mentally resilient and i think that's the
that's really defining factors you can make them believe in their mind they can get through anything
now collectively as a group now you stack 25 of those true believers together you can do anything
and i've seen some dudes do some herculean feats and they do it just because they're too afraid to say
no can you do that yep you sure if it can be done i'll do it i've seen it time and time again but yeah i mean
everybody hits those moments and buds where it's just, I cannot believe I'm doing this right
now. But it's magic once you get through it. It's awesome. I mean, I think setting a threshold
for, if it kills me, it kills me is, in many contexts, is unhealthy, but in that context,
is yeah, it's healthy, adaptive. It's called adaptive. I'm not going to decide what's healthier
or unhealthy. I'm sure some people are listening to this and I think, like, God, like, this is how
this is how guys get themselves killed. And indeed, outside of,
the context of buds that's yeah sometimes guys do dumb stuff i always say um there's some about
having a white chromosome that through you know i wasn't around tens of thousands of years ago but
i'm guessing the first homo sapian male who picked up a rock the first thing he did hit himself in the
head with it was like ouch then he hit the guy next to him with it and you go outch and then they
decided to take it and throw it against a wall and see what happens and on and on and here we are
you know and obviously you know those with two x chromosomes uh took a different path
and we need the collaboration in order to survive as a species, obviously.
But there's something about that, let's just see what happens if, and if it kills me, it kills me,
that actually is a core feature of human evolution that's brought us to some incredible positive places.
So clearly Buds is one such microenvironment.
So you make it through.
And then I realize there are a lot of other iterations.
There's jump school and there's a bunch of other things.
And you often, you start opping right away.
Yeah, I get stationed at CEL Team 10 in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and we deploy in 2005.
The Iraq War just kicked off.
So I check in and I was early 2004 and we deployed.
Yeah, we deployed probably seven months later and sent up.
Iraq was phenomenal.
Everything you ever wanted to be, scary, like you don't know anything.
The IED is really bad and just, I'm being a really young kid.
I mean, I was stormtrooping out of Iraq.
and 19 years old.
I mean, you forget how young you are at 19.
So you're 19, you're kicking doors down.
I'm driving in Humvees, blowing stuff up.
Yeah.
And seeing friends get blown up.
If you talk to anybody who's in Iraq,
the chances of you not hitting an ID were so rare,
and we never hit one.
They'd hit the convoy in front of us,
the one behind us.
We'd get delayed at the gate for two minutes.
We'd turn it, boom, they'd go off in front of you.
They're just not hitting.
They're hitting everybody else but you.
and you know you would tell yourself things like oh the reason they're not doing it is because we look so
aggressive because we have flames and death skulls on the humvees it's not that man it's just it's not
your time you'd be the best trained dude in the world that iED hit you the lights are over and
on that deployment we lost all the guys in operation red wings in afghanistan that was the other
half of our seal team that was an idea that was the that was the helicopter that the uh the now
I don't know whether I'd call it famous or infamous. Forgive me. I'm going to step in it one way or the other. Lone Survivor. Amazing book, I should say. I really enjoyed the book that the movie does, I think, a pretty good job of extracting some of the key moments from the book. But more than a movie or a book, it's a true story. And that's the four guys that got, the three of them got killed on the ground. And then one helicopter blown up attempting to come save them.
Yep.
To save the one guy.
You're the one guy.
Yeah, Marcus.
And that was so hard to wrap your head around as a 19-year-old.
So you've got to think, you know, in my mind, I'd essentially been in the community for 19 years up at that point.
And during my dad's time, it was peacetime the whole time.
So you weren't going to funerals all day long.
Like, Navy SEALs getting killed was, it was like folklore.
It's like, oh, it's a bad train, a bad parachute accident.
You know, we had Neil Roberts got killed in the early G-Watt in Afghanistan, Robert's Ridge.
If you ever heard of that story, that's a gnarly one.
Russell Bensky got the Medal of Honor, John Chapman, the Air Force guy, got the Medal of Honor, gnarly firefight.
But outside of that, it wasn't happening very often.
And then when all those guys got killed in one shot, it was like a slap of reality, they were the best dude you ever seen.
Like, they were the highest, like unbelievably trained, unbelievable experience, and they're gone in an instant.
No goodbye, no fanfare, no, you know, holding him, like, tell my mother, it's nothing like Hollywood.
They're gone.
And that was kept under wraps for a long time before.
for the book and the movie.
I mean, people really didn't know.
There wasn't a lot of discussion about seals.
No, like, it wasn't in popular culture.
When the book came out, it started to gain steam,
and people started to read more about it.
But for being inside the SEAL teams,
that was your own private 9-11.
Every single SEAL cried in an instant throwing up.
I mean, just you cannot believe that just happened.
And then for everybody else who's still fighting the war,
you have to try to explain to your wife and your family
why that's not going to happen to you.
And it's a lie.
It's not like they did anything wrong.
That's just the way it is.
Sometimes it just happens.
You were married at this point?
I wasn't.
Single, thank God.
Intentionally.
Intentionally.
Yeah.
I try to wait as long as humanly possible.
Try to do that.
Good advice, but, you know, it's hard.
It's hard to try to, it's hard to do that job at full time
and trying to be a full-time boyfriend that turns into a fiancé, that turns into a husband,
turns into a father.
It's very hard unless you're able to compartmentalize really, really well.
And fortunately, for us, that's the thing you're the best at, is I can wall it off so fast and never think about you again.
Now, when you transition out of the military, that's not really a superpower anymore.
But in a moment, it served you.
So as more and more guys are getting killed, did you find that getting into action each day, the same way that you describe civilian life now, and getting into action each day being really adaptive, did you find that that was key to being able to not.
go down mental traps.
And at the same time, I acknowledge that you must have also just been really busy.
There's stuff coming at you all the time.
Like, just because, I mean, it sounds cold, but just because guys get killed doesn't mean that the op-ing stops.
In fact, it probably picks up even more.
You got the next line.
Yeah, you have to.
You've got to keep going.
You've got to get back on the horse, keeping going.
The last thing that we wanted is those guys get killed.
Well, let's pull them all back.
Let's take, you know, six months to, you know, regroup.
No.
No, no, no, no.
No, we got to go out right now.
Same thing with the parachute axe.
And I told you about the electric.
I got to do it right away.
If I don't get back on the horse, I'll just build up this dread and I'll lose my confidence in the whole process.
Like, we have to go.
And NSW did.
Everybody did.
Full gas, full steam ahead, let's go.
And just kept going.
We did another one in 2007.
If you've seen this stuff with Jason Redmond, I talked about my buddy Madigan shot up.
That 2007 deployment was dicey.
but it's the same thing like two of your close friends yeah and you know pretty mangled
crazy mangled and you know you start to find out really really fast it doesn't matter how
much you train if your number's called you're getting pulled and it's hard to justify because
now you have a girlfriend you have all this stuff and people are dying and you have to
reassure them why it's not going to happen to you and you get really good at compartmentalization
Like, I can't control that.
The only thing I can control is this.
I'm shooting as much as I can.
I'm doing as much CQB as I can.
I'm jumping as much as I can.
I'm around the boys building team camaraderie as much as humanly possible
because I can't control anything else.
Control the things you can control, building confidence.
But reality, when it slaps, it slaps hard and definitely slapped us.
As the public understanding of what the SEALs even were and are
started to grow and change in the movies,
the lone survivor movie.
And I should think, again,
I think they did a good job with the movie.
I know the book and the movie
were approved by the military.
So there was a lot of kind of vetting of the material,
but I think it hit powerfully.
At the time I was living in San Diego,
so, you know, the movie theaters were packed,
but that was true everywhere.
I mean, it made a big impact.
But then with like the bin Laden thing,
you know, being, you know,
televising, the White House watching.
and, you know, I feel like the whole world came to understand that there were these guys called Navy Seals
and they're doing this really dangerous stuff and taking out bad guys.
Was there anything that changed about the job just knowing that it wasn't as vaulted as it once was?
I mean, what you're doing is vaulted on a day-to-day basis,
but, you know, just this idea like this is in movies and there it is, and it covers CNN.
and there's Obama and, you know, Secretary of Defense watching the op, you know, and people,
then there's a movie made about it very quickly and it was, I mean, it was all happening and it was
weird in real time and on the movies. And it just, for a civilian, it was a little bit of
a mind bend. I can't even imagine what it was like if that's your job. And so much of being
able to perform the job well relies on people not knowing what you're doing and how you do it.
What was that like? Terrible.
terrible. I mean, the very next day, you couldn't drive on the compound. Every news channel across America was sitting outside of that thing. And not only they're taking photos, everybody comes in, they know what you look like. They're looking for guys with long hair, beards, covered in tattoos, driving jacked up pickup trucks. That's what they're looking for. And now you can't go anywhere. Now they're going out in town to all the bars and restaurants you go to and they're pulling you aside asking you. It's like it's very uncomfortable. They'll see wives in there with a little trite.
didn't stick on the back of their car, they'll nail her in the Whole Foods parking
lines.
Your husband and A.V.C., it's, no, nobody's ever done this before.
It's like, mum's the word.
Everybody kind of just collapsed on ourselves and really, really tried to hush this thing down,
but it made the job very, very difficult.
It felt like you were just under microscope the entire time.
And then when extortion happened, then everybody started that it was an inside job.
You know, come on, man.
I know it's probably not something you want to get into.
It may just explain for people what extortion 17 was.
and why that was so additionally impactful after what happened with Operation Red Wings.
Yeah, I mean, you know, we had Operation Red Wings that happened June 28, 2005.
You had a bunch of really historic things that led up after that.
You had the rescue of Captain Phillips in 2009.
That was a huge milestone win, like everybody's goal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they made a movie.
They made a movie, and it's great.
But nobody in the teams is on social media.
They're not on – I didn't watch a YouTube video my entire time in the SEAL teams.
Like, what do I watch a YouTube video for?
Like, nobody knew how bad it was spinning outside of your control.
And nobody.
Bin Laden happens.
And then August 6th, 2011, we lose an entire troop of guys in Afghanistan.
He'll get shot down, kills them all in an instant, killed 31 total people.
And it was like we were reliving June 28th again.
But now it's double as bad.
And now you truly have the best at everything.
ever suited up. If you look at the experience level they have, most of those guys were pre-9-11
guys, 10, 12 combat rotations, gone. You'll never replace it, never. You've never filled that
void since that moment. And then you have all these people just hateful rhetoricly. Always an
inside job and, you know, they knew too much. They knew they were on the bin Laden raid, so we killed
them. Do you know how hard that is living Virginia Beach doing that job seeing those wives at Whole Foods
wearing a memorial t-shirt knowing you're saying that?
that? Do you know what that does to a family? You know what that does the little kids who wake up and
they read the comment section? Mom, was dad killed? Yeah, was he killed by the government? That's what
they read because that's what you're saying. And it's not the truth. It's just not. That was an
off that went wrong. It's a dangerous job. And when you fly into those big, gigantic black helicopters
and they're slow to land, you can shoot them. And that's what happened. And it's as simple as that.
It's a dangerous job. Like, what are you going to do? But it is very hard to live in Virginia.
Beach, that is so small.
Everywhere you go, it's around you.
I mean, you're sipping through black t-shirts all day long.
Which memorial shirt are you're going to wear?
It just is.
And now you get there, now people are starting to erode that from you.
And it really starts to lose your confidence.
So for me, now I'm married.
I'm in the organization.
We had to fill a lot of those guys from other squadrons.
And one of my best friends had to go over.
And unfortunately, he got killed in December 8, 2012,
on a hostage rescue.
Ed Byers got the Mount of Honor
for that operation.
My buddy got the Navy Cross.
And we went to buds together.
His name was Nick Check.
One of the greatest,
most pure operators
you have ever met.
Came from Pennsylvania,
big wrestler,
always in a gym,
always training.
He represented what the essence
of being a Navy SEAL was
and everyone knew it.
When he died,
a piece of me died
that I've never gotten back.
I'm trying not to cry.
The hardest thing I've ever had to do,
was look at my wife and tell her that it wasn't going to happen to me after he died
because he was the true north.
So when she looks at me and she goes, well, the reason you're away from us, the reason you spend
300 days on the road is because you're perfecting this craft, because you say it buys down
the risk.
What about that?
And you can't justify it.
You just look at it and you're like, I just hope it's not my time.
I'm just going to try to exhaust all my resources right now to put myself in the best position
surrounded by the best people to buy down as much risk as you.
humanly possible. If my number's called, it's called. What do you want me to do? And that's where the
compartmentalization really took hold. You have to be able to leave Virginia Beach, your wife, your two
kids, and completely block them out. Like, I can't run through that door with bullets coming out of it
thinking about my wife and kids and how I'm going to orphan them. You can't. I don't have pictures in my
room. I'm not trying to face time all the time. I'm trying to separate myself out so I can just do this
job. And it makes you, it makes you really distant. It makes you not be the person you want to be
the person you used to be because you can't.
You've been the person you need to be in order to eventually be able to go back and
become the person you want to be is what it sounds like to me.
And, you know, I say to the guys now, and it'll sound messed up, so forgive me.
But I never chased a guy who had a perfect family.
There was never a Navy SEAL I ever wanted to emulate who had the picture perfect family, ever.
They were all either on their second marriage, bad relationship with their kids, because they
were so devout at work.
And you looked at him, like, that's a.
masterclass. It's like watching Tiger Woods drag around his golf bag. That's the best it's ever
been, ever. And he has no 50-50. There is no dial for that man. He is living this at 100% in the
moment he retires. I really hope he takes all that energy, all that focus and becomes a better
husband and father, but you can't do it both ways. My mind has come to change now, but I've never seen
it. And I most certainly had no balance. I wasn't even trying to find balance. I was trying to
walled them off, as much as humanely possible to focus on task at hand, because any distraction
was dangerous.
And it's hard to do, but it was necessary at the time.
I don't know any high performers, especially ultra high performers, and especially ultra high
performers in high risk, high consequence careers that don't have some unresolved, dark
aspect of themselves of their life or something that, you mentioned Tiger, you know, it's
public knowledge, he had issues outside of his golf game, and it sounds like he's resolved
those things. He got married again recently, and, you know, I think everyone should wish him the best
and them the best. You know, it's like, you know, especially in the United States, we hold people
up, and we expect perfection from our so-called heroes historically, as well as ones that
are alive, and perfection doesn't exist, right? Because so much of what's required from high
performances, total focus, total compartmentalization, and that being a human being is a lot more
complicated than that. It's something I think to keep in mind. I also just want to just briefly
double-click on this thing about comments. I'm not going to tell people stop saying mean stuff
about me if they want to or mean stuff about somebody. They're going to do it anyway. It's not
the issue. But when it comes to kids reading about their dead parents, their dead parents, their
dad's in this case.
And last week we had a, you know, public assassination.
There's a dad and people making up theories and coming up with ideas that they somehow know things that other people don't know.
And sometimes these people have a professional background in politics or in the military or in law enforcement.
And it adds additional weight to these theories.
But the repercussions on the kids and family and the legacy is it's really bad.
It's really bad.
It's a shame there isn't a thicker filter.
I'm all for free speech, 100% for free speech.
But there's a lot of damage done with those thumb clicks that I don't think people can really comprehend.
So I'm glad you pointed it that out.
I mean, just imagine it.
Like you're a 14-year-old kid and you've grown up worshiping your father and he gets killed.
in Afghanistan, and you see a post about him.
You start to read down, like, he was killed by his government, by this and this.
Mom?
It raises doubt.
And then that little seed of doubt is going to be with him forever.
It's like it takes the entire collective, like, listen to me.
They've never even met a Navy SEAL dude.
That's some kid in the middle of nowhere who's typing his mother's basement,
who's just writing some hateful stuff.
It's not real.
It's hard to block it out when there's 500 of them.
Or guys that were in the military that didn't make it through selection, they're pissed,
or have some resentment for some guy that was jacked in high school who said something
and they didn't get the date or, you know, I mean, it's like, resent is like a, the ego
and resent are a bitter combination.
It lasts, you know, can last a lifetime.
Negative comments many times are irrelevant, but in this context, have a potential lasting,
very, very corrosive aspect.
Yeah.
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So you're hopping.
Guys are dying.
You now have a family.
And it's in your family lineage to do this job.
I'm curious, you know, was the fact that your dad was a team guide, did that feel like pressure or did it feel like buoyancy or neither?
It felt normal.
Did you feel like you had to outdo them?
And I would ask that of anyone, military or not, there's this notion, well, let me just briefly back up.
A friend recently, we were talking about kids and family and building family.
And he said, you don't want a son, you got daughters.
he has all daughters.
And I go, no, I think I'd like, you know, one of your age or about, who cares?
I'd have daughters.
I have sons.
You know, I don't care.
And he said, no, because if you have a son, he's going to try and be better than you.
And then you're going to be in conflict.
And I was thinking, I almost said no.
And then I was like, my dad's a scientist.
And so I was like, there's a point in your life where you go, can I fill those shoes?
Can I exceed those shoes?
It's natural human son to father behavior, I think.
And so was there ever a moment where you're like, I got to exceed or just,
or was it irrelevant?
I think it was irrelevant, but just because the timing you came in, you know, spent his entire
time at peacetime.
I did nothing but combat the entire time.
A lot of deployments back and back, back, never took a short duty station just by that
amount of experience, you already surpassed it, but it doesn't need to be said.
Why not leave?
Guys, one of your closest mentors and friends gets killed.
I mean, the retirement plan, I'm guessing, is pretty good, but it's not that awesome.
That's a plug for the military to increase the retirement salaries.
You get some medical care, right?
You know, some things come to your family for staying in 20 years, I think it is.
But did the thought ever cross your mind?
Like, hey, guys are dropping off and you're right in the center of it.
Maybe leave.
Not for a moment.
I should have known that wasn't going to be the answer.
At that time, it's so different because a lot of people think about special operations in the global Ontario is the Marines pushing through Fallujah, broad daylight just getting smashed.
Those are the bravest dudes that served during the GWAT.
The Marines.
There is nothing more impressive than a 19-year-old Marine in the things they'll do.
Like, they just are.
They're heroes of mine.
My experience in a G-WAT was very different.
it's always at night it's always you know select targets it's not like like hey you and your team
are going to go raid this village no we're going for a very very specific person and then when you
look at it Hemingway said it best once you've hunted armed men long enough and liked it you'll
never care for anything else thereafter there is nothing like hunting a human being who's hunting you
nothing and you are so afraid you're going to miss it so that's why you hide injuries you don't get
surgery. You do everything you can and put yourself in position to be on the op, to not miss
the deployment. And I think that's what it is in the essence is, you know, you have all the
intel folks and all the technology that are giving you this one thing and you just stare at
them. I know everything about you. Where you live, your secondary house, everybody you talk to you,
right-handed, left-handed, how many windows, how many doors, the inward opening, outward openings,
these are storm doors. What's the windows made? I know everything about you. And then we know exactly
when we're going to go get you.
We know you're bad.
We know everything you've done.
I know everything you've sat on that phone
for the last six months.
I know everything there is to know about you
and we are coming to get you.
And when you're successful,
it becomes addictive.
And you just keep chasing that feeling like,
I am pulling these people off the earth
and it makes a difference.
I'm not just not carpet bombing anything.
Like that one singular dude has done all of this.
We have to remove him.
Let's go.
And it makes you feel like you're important.
It makes you feel like people actually
need you and you chase it for as long as possible. My buddy Jimmy Hatch wrote a book called
chasing a dragon and that's what it's like. You chase them long enough, you'll find him
and you don't want to jump off that train. You're so afraid in the teams and special
operative, the military does a really good job of painting a narrative that if you leave this,
your life is over. There's nothing that's going to surpass us. The SEAL teams are the only
thing you know how to do and it's the only thing you'll ever feel at home. And it's the
truth. You get guys to get out and they go work at Goldman Sachs and you do this and you do that.
If you really get a couple beers in him and you sit down, they're miserable. They miss it.
Even all the stuff you didn't like, the things you hated about the military and the people you
hated working for at the end of the, you don't remember any of that. You only remember the good
times. And because you had, you know, the entire time at war, the whole aspect, the whole career was
just amazing, you know, staying on the shoulders of giants.
I've got to work with people that are the greatest thing you'll never get to see.
Like there's 12 people on the planet that were there that saw that thing
and we won't even address it because it's not cool if you address it.
I cannot believe you just pulled that off.
That's the most impressive thing I've ever seen in my life and you don't even talk about it.
Like the regular people will never get to see the level of detail that goes into doing that job.
They see it on a flat range shoot or whatever and they're like, oh, I can do that.
But you can't jump out of 35,000 feet at night.
into a place you've never seen and been to it.
But you can't do that.
Like, you know, how hard it is to put yourself in a position to do that operation?
Like, they have no idea.
And they're shooting back at you.
Yeah.
There's that piece.
The target's on a flat range.
Don't shoot back.
Yeah.
This is a two-way range.
This isn't Airsoft.
It's not calling duty.
Like, there's real people.
That dude has five kids and he's going through that threshold, regardless of what's coming out of him, without a second thought.
It's amazing to see.
and I said a group of guys the other day
and when the tower fell
I've never felt more patriotic in my life
in those moments
you never think about the flag
you never think about the American people
you never think about that
you think you do it for the country
you really do it and you stay doing it for the culture
the culture of the seal teams
was worth every ounce you have to pay for it
and it's every other group will tell you the exact same thing
like the culture is what keeps you there
You're so afraid to leave it because you know you're never going to find it anywhere else.
And that was the same way.
I mean, when me and my old lady were going through our worst moments, I told her.
Like, if you don't like the train, jump, I'm not stopping for you.
I'm not.
And that's why I was really concerned we first got together because she was married to Danny Deeds, was on Operation Red Wings on the ground.
Her dad was a seal.
I mean, we were embedded in this thing.
You guys have both came up in it.
Oh, yeah, man.
Like, we're embedded in this.
And, you know, I met her three years after Danny passed.
I didn't know Danny, I didn't know her, mutual friends.
We connected around 2008-9.
And I told her when we first, I fell in love with her instantly.
And it scared me because I was getting ready to screen and try to go with the Tier 1 command.
And the pace was so fast.
And I was so worried that she'd look at me one day and go, I can't do this again.
And I wasn't going to leave it for her.
And I told her that don't ever ask me to leave because I won't.
It's like if you don't want to do this, I get it.
Like we can be best friends.
We can do whatever.
but I'm not leaving this for you.
And that's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
And for whatever reason, she's a unicorn.
She has been the quintessential team wife above and beyond.
Every deployment, full steam ahead, hot water heater blows up,
tree falls in a minivan.
She doesn't even tell me.
She just solves it.
She's amazing.
And I still blocked her out like I did everything else
because I still thought that my love for her was distraction.
And like those are the times I look back on and I regret.
but in the moment
I don't think I'd change it
I don't think I could
I don't think I could do that job
at the level
that was required to do it
and have that love them
you know hanging around my neck
I couldn't do it
it all ended up working out in the wash
but it was a it's hard man
it's hard to sit there
and just wait for your number to get called
and just hope it doesn't
I mean the best dudes in the world
are getting killed
and you can't just it's not lack of training
it's not lack of funding it's not lack of experience
It's not lack of commitment.
What is it?
It's a dangerous job, man.
That's what it is.
It's a super dangerous job
and people are trying to kill you all day long.
You just hope that you're better than they are.
But some days it happens regardless.
And it's hard.
It's hard putting guys on the ground,
especially when you've grown up with them your whole life.
You definitely picked the right woman.
I lawsuit a unicorn.
I did.
She, unbelievable.
I have a good friend.
He, because I know you've got daughters.
And he said, you want to marry a woman that were you to have daughters with her,
that you'd be very happy if they turned out like her.
Yeah.
Which is one of the best pieces of advice that I didn't hear until fairly recently.
And the moment I heard it, I was like, wow, that's really good.
You know, they don't tell us that in high school.
No, they don't.
But clearly you bull's-eyed on that one.
So you're hopping, you're alive, guys are dying, you got a family, and it sounds like you love it too.
You're loving the work, which is so key, right?
I don't, because in moments of stress and, you know, I mean, all the other stuff that's clearly important, love a country, flags, all that stuff, it sounds like it's necessary, but it's not sufficient in those moments.
The culture is really the glue.
then you start incurring some damage.
I mean, so what do you see in your mind
as kind of the first high-impact event
that's not someone else dying?
Like that your body is starting to take a toll?
I had a lot of emotional stuff
happened to me in that second deployment.
You know, my idol, Maddie Roberts,
I've talked about him a couple times.
I really, really hung on to that, dude.
Like he was my true North.
He was the guy.
And when he got shot up, when you see it happen,
his arm shot off, it flipped around his shoulder.
It looked like his arm was completely gone.
My fingers are inside his arm.
We're trying to solve this thing.
They're shooting at us from really, really close proximity.
And I think it still has a record left.
I have to ask Jay Redden,
but I think that was the closest call for fire mission
in the entire Iraq war.
like inside a 15 meters.
I mean, Courtney Mike, Mike from my AC130 gunship.
I mean, it was on top of you, a bell-fed machine gun, just chewing us up.
Everybody shot up except for me and one other guy and we're all crowded behind this tractor tire.
Just you felt like a victim.
And at one point, right when the initial contact happened, I sprinted to a tree and got a piece of cover.
So there's me, three guys that are all shot up and one other guy who's behind this tractor tire.
And I'm screaming at him like, hey, I've got to.
and out come over here and he screams out and black hawk down like nope come to me and you're looking
back at it you can see all the muzzle flash and just the way it happened you had blue forces or
friendlies that were in behind him so you couldn't shoot into this veg line because you knew there were
friendlies that were back there so you're in this weird dance where i can't do anything like i felt
helpless you know i'm getting rounds poured all over me and at a certain point you just go
I'd rather run back into the front of this thing
and get killed with all of them
than be the lone survivor
I don't want to walk through this
I don't want to live with the survivor's guilt
I'd rather just run back up
and let's just catch it and be done with it
and I ran right back into the center of it
and dropped down behind that tire
and started working all the guys back
and putting on tourniquets
and quick clot and all the stuff
when I came back from that
I was mentally scarred for the rest of my life
and I just never ever processed it
I just blocked it off.
Because it was so close.
I think because it was the first time I felt helpless.
Like I was just waiting to die.
Right?
Like the guy that I looked up that I wanted to be like,
like he was the physical representation
of what I thought the essence of being a Navy SEAL was
and he's dying in my arms.
And I can't shoot back.
I mean, we're hunkered down in rounds
are just skipping all over you.
And you're just, if that JTAC wouldn't have called in a fire mission,
we'd all be dead.
I mean, it's only a matter of time
before he stands up and just realizes
he can just walk us down.
I mean, there's no loom, night vision's all messed up at this point.
I mean, everything it could have went wrong, went wrong,
and now we're inside of 10 meters getting pounded by a belt-fed machine gun.
You can't move.
And it was the first time in my life, I truly felt helpless.
And everything worked out.
Everybody ended up surviving it.
We got them in the helicopter and did all that.
I just think I never got an opportunity to ever talk about it.
And when I went back home, you know, you're taking a shower.
The showers in Iraq aren't the best,
as you can imagine, and I'm standing here in ankle-deep sludge water that's just filled with
blood. It's all in my mouth. It's all over my hair. I remember taking the shower and just seeing
it all, and not knowing if you lived or not. In thinking, do I want to be washing this off?
Because if they call me in 20 minutes and tell me he's dead, this is the last piece of him I have.
So I saved the canies. I saved the boot. I saved the shirts. I saved everything I wore. I shoved it
on the bag and I kept it in case he died. But it was hard, man. Like the back of that helicopter
it looked like Black Hawk down just blowout kits and tourniquets and magazines and rounds all over
and just the most blood I've ever seen and you're just slipping and sliding in it just like out of
the movies and it's not it's it's dudes you've wrapped your arms around and told you I've loved
you a hundred times you're like this is not what I thought it was going to be like I didn't think
this was going to be like this I didn't because I'd never seen it my dad has never been through that
None of his friends ever went through that.
Now I am, this 20-year-old kid, and this is what I'm living with.
And it was hard because you've got to walk back in the culture of the SEAL team.
So we're not talking about that.
Nobody's ever addressing that.
When you see him, you know, you always make a joke.
Like, hey, could you scream any louder?
Like, I'm surprised we ought to get killed by how loud you were yelling.
You always make a joke about it.
It wasn't a joke, man.
I was traumatized.
Like, I worship that guy.
And to see the reality, like, he's not Superman, and neither am I.
Fortunately for me, he did the most heroic thing I've ever seen, and that moment is stuck with me forever.
When that initial contact happened, everybody got shot, including him, and he stood back up and ran forward and grabbed our corpsman, who was all shot up and started dragging him back, and I watched it happen, gets shot again, and it spins him on the floor, and he gets right back up, picks him up again, gets shot again, arms spins over his shoulder, keeps dragging him back, gets shot again, hits the ground, gets back up, keeps dragging him.
it's like at no point was he ever going to leave that dude could he have yeah he could have
have ran dough behind that tractor tire and sent me out there to go fetch him he was so committed
to the process of i am never going to leave you if he would have took one right in the head and
he would have died right then he would have never bad an eye about it if he would have known the
outcome he would have went anyway and that part is stuck me the entire time like a true believer
will go further than anyone else in the moment of total duress because they're conditioned to it
he's already made up in his mind how far are you willing to go the entire way right now i'm just
looking for an opportunity to prove it and that was his moment to prove it he proved it to everybody
and still to the same and probably still my biggest inspiration in the entire teams is matt roberts
unbelievable human i'm trying to get emotional but yeah just amazing human i mean intense in in in
every way to hear about so i can only imagine what it's like to be there and
And your reverence for people around you that do amazing things is super impressive.
I notice you're constantly noticing the people that you've been blessed to be around that
show you things.
And the extent to which you internalize it is awesome.
I realize it also carries some weight when they're not doing well.
It's so interesting.
I hope people hear what I'm hearing.
I'm sure they are, which is that it's never about you.
It's always about seeing this other person that you, you know,
was like of almost like superhero status, like they're human and it sort of brings reality back.
But all the while you're a central figure in this interaction.
This wasn't like watching it on an iPad from a distance and wishing you could do something.
Like you're in there too, and that's not lost on us as you tell this.
you're carrying this in your head and you're still going back out.
So you didn't process it then.
Let's talk about you getting electrocuted because you keep popping.
Fortunately, you're not killed.
And then you're pretty close to the time when you can leave feeling like you've done sufficient time in the teams.
you've done your work.
Was there a desire to stay in past 20 years?
Oh, I never plan on getting out.
Never.
Nope.
You wanted to be one of these so-called bullfrogs, one of the U.C.I.
I know one, I won't mention his name because he won't appreciate it.
But he did something like 32 years or something, and he's a friend.
And I actually asked him once what his training regimen.
He's getting up there now.
He's going to give me shit for saying that.
But he's in great shape, obviously.
And he says he finds some way to make sure that he's breathing super hard
and his heart rate is max for an hour a day.
Does work out?
It doesn't get any simpler than that.
I didn't ask him the variety of things he's done to accomplish that.
But I think it's running.
I think it's lifting heavy objects.
I think it's swimming.
I think it's...
But yeah, it doesn't get any simpler in that.
And in addition to his physical durability, his mental durability,
he says directly linked to that.
An hour a day breathing as hard as he can
at max heart rate.
That's that sort of bullfrog mentality.
So you wanted to be one of those guys,
but you decided at some point
it might be wise to lean into the family life?
No, no, God no. Nope.
Okay.
Bad guess, Andrew.
My first major injury,
I made it all the way through.
Came in in 2002.
In 2010, I was going through selection
to the Tier 1 organization.
And about three quarters away through, we do a big skydive block out in Arizona.
And I love jumping.
It's my jam.
And I had a bad landing.
Downwind landing hit this ravine, and I snapped my femoral neck, broke that thing.
And I was so afraid they were going to wash me out of the program.
I just didn't say anything.
So I can barely walk.
I can't drive a car.
I mean, it's full atrophy.
It's bad.
And I'm jacked up on so many Toradolls, taramodols, and 800 milligram motron
that I'm able to.
able to get through and jump. They know something's wrong with me, but they know I'm not going
to quit. They know I'm not going to ask for any help. So as long as I can pass the evolutions,
we're good. And all I have to do is jump. We graduate that. You know, we get drafted in all the
different organizations you're going to go to. And I walked into rehab and I went, okay, now that's
over. My back's broken. And they were like, oh, why do you say that? And they told them, like, we got
And we got an MRI on my hip when we were in Arizona and nothing showed up.
They were like, I think you tore your hip flexor.
And I was like, oh, if I tore my hip flexor, I don't care.
We're good.
I thought it was my back.
We get home, they run new images, and my femoral neck is snapped off.
And you know the deal.
You lose a femoral neck, blood supply, total hip replacement.
You're out of the military.
And I walked in, saw the doctor, and he's sitting there in front of my command master chief and all the rehab guys.
And he goes, hey, we got emergency surgery for you tomorrow morning, zero.
seven no no and he's like what i'm not getting surgery i've never had surgery i'm not getting
surgery nope i got deployment coming up i'm not doing that and my command master chief look me and he
goes um let me rephrase this you're getting surgery tomorrow at zero seven if you don't
i'm going to shit candy out of the program it's like oh okay what isn't he's like 15 inches of titanium
three lag bolts we're going to pump him in there here's a rehab protocol you're still going to
deploy and you know i think it was a month and a half
And we did.
But I got through.
From the time I broke it, I did another 85 skydives on it.
Went through Utah.
I mean, up and down that crazy elevation, just really just sucking it up.
But it was a test for mental resiliency.
How far are you willing to push to be a part of the organization the entire way?
Did your teammates know you had a broken femur?
Okay.
We got through.
We did emergency surgery.
Had a nasty complication, got infected.
you know wound backs the whole thing
and they were so cool
they flew a rehab guy over to Afghanistan with me
and that's how we tested out
and you know the final test like we're doing
V-O-2 maxes and broad jumps and all the things
make sure your hip can take it and the very last thing
was this huge box probably
a 48 inch box
we got a full kit on and he looks at me
his name's Mike and he goes okay
we're going to have you drop off this and land on
the bad leg and he goes
DJ do not step off
that box if you don't think it'll hold
I knew it wouldn't hold.
There's no way it's going to hold.
Like, it feels so bad inside me.
Stepped off it.
Hit.
It felt like a bolt of lightning went through me.
And I looked at him, and he went, how do you feel?
I went, 100%.
Got my stuff, got on the helicopter.
Made it through all that.
The screws ended up backing out going through my T band a couple months later,
had to have another surgery and just a long history of things that happened to me.
But it really got you used to.
We talked about it before.
Are you hurt or are you injured?
I got to the point very, very fast in a SEAL team, so I could not tell the difference.
I don't know the difference.
Everything hurts.
Everything's got a limitation, and I'm just pushing through it regardless.
And again, it's not like I'm a unicorn.
The amount of people that need major reconstructive surgeries, eight out of ten, everybody needs it.
And they just don't do it because you have a deployment coming up or you have a trip you can't miss or something going on the way you can't miss it so you sacrifice yourself.
Just don't do it.
The same thing was happening.
I had a gnarly shoulder dislocation, blew it out, had to have major reconstructive surgery.
I had an admin wound, four rounds of plastic surgery, couldn't get it to close.
I mean, all the complications are happening.
After the shoulder surgery, it was so bad.
Medical retirement was imminent.
So, hey, we're going to medically retire you.
Same benefits if you do 20 years, but you can't do this job anymore.
They wanted to fuse my lower back, my neck, shoulder surgery, shoulder surgery, double hip surgery.
So I had three years of surgeries lined up.
And it's like, I'm not going to sit here in rehab for three years doing surgeries, taking up a slot.
I'm not doing it.
I was like, I'll just get out.
I'll retire and I'll deal with it on my own.
That's kind of the whole process.
So I got put on a laundry list of medications, 60-something pills a day, probably 25, 30 different prescriptions we were on.
Goodness.
I mean, Simbalta, Adderall, Gabapin, heavy, heavy doses.
Symbolta, they got you on antidepressants.
Oh, yeah.
And yeah, Symbolta, when you come off Symbolta, it gives you the jolts.
Oh, yeah, Symbolta's a treat.
Lyrica, I've been on everything.
Amitrippelin to sleep, taking a heavy dose of those, ambient, obviously, everything, everything in between.
You take it all.
And you don't realize that you're smashed all day because you're not hitting alcohol.
you don't realize that you're processing pharmaceuticals 24 hours a day every single day,
52 weeks out of year.
You don't realize it.
You're not sober.
And that was my hardest thing to kind of walk away with is I came out of this rehab program.
They put me on these medications, and I felt like a million bucks.
I got really hurt in 2013, amnesia, forgetting where I was at.
And I went down, they gave me these pills, and I felt like Jesus came down and touched me.
You gave me Adderall and Symbolton.
Okay, what else you have?
Oh, we got this, we got this, we get them to me.
Steli, ganglion blocks through my throat, give it to me.
Reiki, give it to me.
Anything you have, I'll do it.
There's not a protocol on the planet I have not done.
And I've done them at 100% full value.
And they buy you a little bit of relief.
We got to the point where I was taking so many different medications, a bunch of them you were not allowed to take together.
And I had a new doctor came in.
He's trying to refill all my prescriptions.
And he's like, you can't take these four medications in combination.
He's like, it'll give you a stroke to each, it'll kill you.
And I went, well, it's 2019.
I've been taking them since 2010.
Like, I have to keep taking me.
He's like, you're going to have to have to a med washout.
They send me down to Walter Reed, the 70s to it's a neurobehavior award.
I don't know that.
I think it's like a team guy clinic where we're going to go work on shoulder mobility and whatever else.
Because I just came after.
Sorry, I couldn't help it.
Oh, I mean, you know, I was, you don't know, right?
I don't know.
I go down there, they start taking my shoelaces, they take everything I have.
I'm like, what is this?
I mean, there's fighter pilots that are in there.
There's green berets that are in there.
Like, I went through Sears School.
I don't need this.
Sears out of Dads, torture training.
Yeah, and I'm like, I don't know why I'm doing this.
They don't tell me it's a neurobehavior war.
They tell me it's for a med washout.
He's like, hey, you're going to go there.
He's like, you're going to focus on shoulder rehab because that was a gnarly shoulder surgery.
He's like, they're going to focus on that.
We'll get you washed out of these meds.
We'll come back.
You'll be in a good spot.
Medical retirement.
transition next phase.
Awesome.
I went into that hospital, broken.
My eyes were jet black.
I was 180 pounds.
Just death warmed over.
I didn't want to do anything.
And I laid in that hospital bed, and I had the most amazing nursing staff.
And I had laid down that bed, and I started getting sick.
And I was like, fucking food poise me, throwing up, pissing myself, I mean, the whole thing.
And I remember throwing up in this bucket, beautiful black nurse that has this,
wet washcloths and she's washing my face off and I was like, I don't know what I ate.
I was like, I'm so sorry. I feel so embarrassed and she's like, it's okay. It's okay.
And I haven't eaten anything. I was like, I never get food poison. She's like, oh, honey, it's okay.
And I can remember the look she gave me like, you have no idea why you're here. Wow.
I was like that for probably 10 days. Around the 10th or 11th day, I finally came out of my room.
I got sunglasses on. My photophobia was so bad. If you shine light my eyes, I'd throw up.
And like my TBI was, it was controlling everything I had, wasn't sleeping, had insomnia,
had everything you could have.
And that was the first time in a decade I had been truly sober.
No booze, no nicotine, no pharmaceuticals of any kind.
And that was my baseline.
And if you would have given me the ability, I would have closed out that chapter right then.
I was done.
I could not believe what I had done to myself, what I had turned myself into, and there's no way to get better.
Like, I'm stuck like this, and now you're going to kick me out of the only thing.
that I've ever loved.
What am I supposed to do now?
Rock bottom.
And we started spinning up art therapy.
So I had, I'd been there before.
We'd done art therapy before, and I found it really beneficial.
And actually, the Red Cross used to bring me in dogs.
They'd bring me in a St. Bernard drop in my bedroom.
And I do dog therapy for a little bit?
And she's like, do you want to do art therapy?
And I was like, I'd love to.
And she's like, well, what do you want?
I'd really love a skateboard.
And they snuck me out of that hospital.
not supposed to, and they drove me down this little skate shop right outside of Walter Reed,
and there's a skate shop there. And I walk in, you know, I've got my gown and stuff on.
Like, I'm all jacked up, hair super long, beards long. I was like a hobo. And I told the guy
of my story. I was like, hey, I grew up skateboarding. Like, it was my passion, and I really
would love to have a skateboard just to paint, do art therapy. Yeah, because I got a couple
bolts in my femur that ripped through my, through a couple tendons. And, you know, I just got,
Got detoxed and didn't realize it.
And I'm here.
Can I ride a skateboard?
Love it.
So he gives me a bunch of blank skateboards.
And I go back and I'm paper mache.
I'm doing hands coming out of him.
Just a bunch of really dark demonic stuff.
But I felt so good.
When I came out, my best friend, Cole Fackler, same guy I started Tribe Skates with and GVRS with.
We went to buds together.
He grew up in Virginia Beach with me.
And so we've been thick as thieves for 25 years now.
And he's like, well, open up an LLC.
He opens up the backside, and he's like, let's just make skateboarding your art therapy.
So we had an artist come on board.
We'd start drawing, you know, motivational things, you know, old school UDT, stuff for firemen, stuff for police officers, memorial skateboards.
And then I found fracture burning.
So you essentially take a microwave transformer, pull it out, and you hook it up the jumper cables,
and then run a lead out to an octopus outlet like 110.
So when I clip it on top of the wood and I pour an electrolyte solution on it,
Coca-Cola baking soda with warm water is my favorite, and I hit it, it'll burn the wood grain
and they'll connect.
Scrub all that out, fill with resin, just make these beautiful pieces.
And that was my art therapy.
I could sit there and burn skateboards all day, every day.
It was amazing.
It truly changed my life.
And I don't know why.
I didn't grow up around electricity.
Obviously, I'm not very good at it.
And it was something about having to set there and sand the lacquer off that skateboard.
I mean, I'd buy brand new skateboards.
I'd sand the entire graphic off of it, and then we'd burn them.
You'd have to sand them off.
You'd have to rinse them, wait 24 hours, pour the resin, wait 24 hours.
Sand then off, pour it again 24 hours.
I mean, it's a seven-day process to make one board, and we'd bring in guys that were transitioning.
They'd do it, too.
It was their form of art therapy, and I felt like I was making a difference.
And I'm scheduled to retire at the end of August.
in 2019.
This is Father's Day.
So was that in the...
It's like mid-June, is that right?
Yeah. Something like that?
Right before I'm scheduled to retire.
Father's Day morning around 9 a.m.
I've been up since 5, burning skateboards.
I've got a big bay window.
It looks out in my backyard,
and I've got these seesaw set up with these boards.
And I've got an EOD guy,
explosive warden's guy from the Navy.
He's making paddles for retirement.
So he comes over, they're covered in lacquer.
And I'm like, yo, man, man, I can't burn them
why they have a lacquer.
So he's got to sand her out.
I've been burning, so I unplug my machine.
He plugs into my octopus outlet and is sanding down the lacquer.
When he's done, I'll clip in, I'll burn him real quick, he'll finish him off.
And my wife, I'll never forget, I look up and she bangs on the window.
And she's like, it's father's day.
I was supposed to go eat brunch.
And I was like, last burn.
Last burn.
He had unplugged the sander and plugged in my machine into the oxford outlet,
and now there's a charge going to it.
It's sitting on the ground.
I don't know it.
And the way I run the protocol is there's no electricity running to it, so I mean, you can put these things in your mouth.
There's no electricity.
So I pick them up to adjust them because then I'm going to walk back, plug it in, everybody's clear, flick the outlet.
And when I readjusted him, the whole thing lit me up.
I had them in both hands.
You closed the circuit.
Yep.
So they were live on the lead, just sitting on the ground.
I didn't know it.
So I went to readjust him.
I made contact with him, and it spun me around, and I faced him.
this far away and i can remember the back of my head was trying to touch my tailbone i was trying to
fight it i could feel my teeth heating up and i was squeezing this thing as hard as i could and i heard a
pop pop and i stepped back that was my collarbone shattering from flex my scapula they both shattered
but in the process you take a hose and you wash off all the ash so right behind me is ankle
deep standing water and now i'm holding on this thing i step back and my wife both my kids are
turned around watching me from eight feet away. I pop up, I levitate, and it launches me about
20 feet across my backyard, still holding on to the leads. He, thank God, has a wherewithal to
unplug it. So when I wake up, my hair is standing straight up, my hands are smoking, and I exhale,
and went, and all this smoke came out of my mouth. And I remember laying on the ground,
and he's right in my face, and he goes, you know where you're at? And I said, on the ground.
and he went, can you move?
And I went, my shoulder's dislocated, for sure.
And he went, can you set up?
And I went, help me.
And he pulled me up.
And as soon as he put pressure on there, I could feel my scapula, just gravel.
I could feel this all hinging in there.
My hands are smoking.
So it blew out of my finger, blew out of this thumb.
It fused my tendon to the nerve bundle.
So it was stuck like this.
I couldn't move anything up here.
He stands me up, and I tell him, I'm going to drive myself to the hospital.
my wife is freaking out.
They're trying to unplug the machine.
You know, my kids are running out there
and I don't want them to see me like this.
I don't have a shirt on.
I don't even have shoes on.
I just got a pair of shorts.
And my shorts were on fire.
So I had little ingrown hairs my thighs.
Electricity was shooting out of those
and caught my shorts on fire.
Anywhere I had them.
So out of the top of my head, one next to my nether region.
I mean, just exit shots coming out of my body.
I don't know anything about electricity,
but it's not good.
And I take a turn and I've probably got to walk maybe 35, 40 feet to my car.
So he's in there with my wife trying to get the keys, trying to get me in there.
And I turn and I stepped to the door.
Have you seen Kill Bill?
Remember the five-finger death touch, five steps?
I took one step and everything went, I took another one and it started closing in.
Everything started going black.
I was like, oh, God.
Third step.
And I was like, oh, no.
Fourth, fifth.
and I'm looking through a toilet paper straw
and I'm like, oh my God.
I took one more step and everything went black
and I was in total blindness staying out there.
I'm opening my eyes as wide as I can and I'm panicking.
I can hear my wife running through the house screaming.
I can hear him running around screaming
trying to get everything together
and I'm stuck on the side of my house like this is shaking.
I can't see anything.
And I start power breathing.
It's deep and as hard as I can
and I saw a little speck of light
and I just kept doing it, just force it.
It inhaled the nose and my nose
in mouth, just power as much as I can.
It started to open up, open up, open up.
And probably 20 breasts into it,
it was like I had superhuman vision.
It was like I was interconnected with everything on the planet.
It was like I had a DMT trip.
Everything was super vibrant.
I was totally aware of my whole body.
I knew everything that just happened to me.
I could recall things from in the past.
And I knew everything was going to be fun.
I'm good.
I walk right over the truck.
I open up the car.
I get inside it.
We hit every single speed bump and pothole from there.
until the ER, just josting around me.
You can hear the reminder.
Your shoulder was a little messed up.
Shoulders, plural.
So I walked through the ER, and Princess Anne Sintera in Virginia Beach has an amazing staff.
What they also have is a staff of really, really beautiful nurses.
But now it's COVID.
So now everybody has a mask on.
And all you can see of their eyes, and they had the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
And I'm laying on my back.
You know, I walk in and they can see it.
Like, if one of the nurses made a comment, it's like, who brought in barbecue?
And it's my hands.
Like, they're melted.
Like, they're smoking.
It's so bad.
Like, it's making me nauseous to think about it.
They get me in that table, and I'll never forget this nurse came over and spun her face in.
She goes, I'm so surprised you still have a penis.
I said, what?
And she went, honey, when you get electrocuted, usually fingers come off, your nose comes off, everything comes off you.
And she's like, as far as we can tell, you're.
intact. You haven't lost anything right now? She's like, move your fingers and moving everything.
Open my mouth. Can you hear? I can hear. And she's like, okay, well, here we go. They transfer me.
I think I took an ambulance ride. I kind of blacked out for a little bit. And then I woke up in the
burn unit in Norfolk. And I had the specialist came in. My wife is now with me. We're laying there.
Double slings, you know, trying to identify how bad everything is. They know we've got to do
an emergency surgery on all this. And he goes, DJ. So this is after my
two months with Vernon. So this is the best physical condition I've ever been in. So I came from
180. Now I'm 220. 6% body fat. I'm in phenomenal shape. Like, I don't need to retire. I can
probably still suit it up again. And now I'm laying in this hospital bed. I have to show you the
photos. And he walks in. He's like, you know what rhabdo is? And I said, yeah. And he goes,
when you get electrocuter, your body releases an enzyme. Everybody has, but it multiplies rapidly.
And your muscles liquefy. And they go toxic. Then it goes septic.
and you die. Your issue is you're a big dude. If these enzyme markers hit this level,
I got to start cutting stuff out of you, man. Taking muscle off. Yeah, he's like pecks, lats,
shoulders, delts, hamstrings, quads, like, so every hour I'm coming back here and we got to start
doing these enzyme markers. So I'm laying in that bed, can't move, I can't run, can't do anything.
And I'm looking at my wife, and I'm just imagining Dr. Gavorky and coming in here and chopping me up in
little pieces. I've never been in a low spot like that. Outside of being stuck behind that
tie with Maddie, this was the first time since then where I was a true victim of circumstance.
There's nothing I can do to prevent this. There's no magic pill I can take. There's no where
to run. There's nothing I can do. I'm either going to land this hospital bed. I'm going to let that
dude come in here and chop me up into pieces. And I'm just consumed with anger, guilt, envy.
I just don't want to be here right now. And he came back in the hour and he's like, levels
are good levels are good came back next hour levels are good third hour fourth hour fifth hour
and he's like dj every person on the planet has this enzyme in your body everyone
not only is yours not clining not increasing there's not a trace of in your body now he's like
i've never seen anything like it he's like tomorrow morning you're free to go okay they planned
the surgery they put in two plates 20 something screws did the whole thing but
didn't have to chop me up.
And, you know, from talking all the other people,
typically people get electrocuted by one touch.
So this arm comes off, you know, ribcages blow open.
They were like, we don't know if it's because you had leads in both hands
and you just completed a circuit and were able to ride it.
We don't know what would happen if you would have held it for another second to half.
Where's your heart starting and stopping?
Just the perfect timing.
All the stars had to rely on for you to be here right now,
and it's a medical mystery.
So I took it with that.
Medical mystery.
And now we're here.
but I had to walk back in.
So I get dropped off my house,
and this is where Vernon really comes into play,
is I'm sitting in my house in double slings.
I've got two kids.
I've got a wife.
I've got no income.
I've got no job.
I've got no one that can hire me,
and I can't do anything physically.
Nothing.
I'm just laying in there in mental health.
Straight down the tube.
And I'm laying there at my kitchen table,
just feeling absolute the worst I've ever felt.
And I get a...
gimp up to the door and open up the door and there's my trainer Vernon he's like how are you
doing big guy not good he like gives me this this half-assed hug and we walk in the kitchen we're
sitting down and he's like talk me through it i was like i can't do anything he's like okay
well now that we've established that what can you do it's like nothing can you make a fist
you know my hands are all banded up and i was like yeah and he's can you move your wrist
He went, yeah?
And he went, can you walk?
I can walk.
He's like, perfect.
Pulls out his back pocket, this little blue two-pound dumbbell, and he sticks it in my
fingertips.
He's like, curl it.
And I curled up and I did a wrist curl.
And he went, roll your hand over?
Okay.
So we can do grip and we can walk.
Here we go.
And we did that every single day until I could pressurize my upper body enough to where
a sneeze wouldn't cripple me, and then we were straight back in the gym.
So I'd walk in, double.
slings. He's like, the only thing we can do is belt squats, lunges, mobility. That's all
we're going to do. You're belt squatting in double slings. Uh-huh. That's awesome. But I walk in.
So you're not holding on to the hole. It's none of that. I can't do anything. So I'd literally walk
in. I'd step through like a hula hoop. He would bring it up around me. I'd step on the platform.
I'd squat down. He'd clip me in. I'd stand up. He'd unrack it. I'd do my set.
Rack it. He'd take the belt off me over and over. And he rebuilt me back every single
day, five days a week. We have never missed a session together since 2019.
Never.
Save my life, man.
That is awesome.
He is the best human.
He's been more of a life coach and a strength coach.
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
And without him, if he wouldn't have walked him without two-pound dumbbell,
there's no telling where I'd be at right now.
I told that story of the Tactical Strength Condition Conference.
Like, no one does that.
No one is going to come over during that moment and push you.
Everybody's going to walk over and put, oh, I'm so sorry for you.
Oh, I can't believe this happened.
Happen. Not him. It's like, control things you can't control. Can you make a fist? Can you turn your wrist?
Wrist curls in 20-minute walks. Here we go. And that's what we did every single day.
Bounce it all the way back. I mean, he's been there, had to get a surgery on my hand, had to rebuild this whole hand, all the strength and everything we've had to do, the stomach, the kidney, everything in between he's been there for.
How many years ago was that? That was in 2019, so what is that?
It wasn't that long ago. Six years.
And now you're feeling great.
Super robust.
We'll talk about your training now and what people can do with that training.
I've gleaned a lot of really useful information from your current training program about setting standards.
And that is a wild ride.
I always say, like, at least give me a cool story with it.
Like, you know, I get this skinny thing going on, not a cool story.
Electricution, it's a cool story.
You know, it's a feel-good story at the end.
It wasn't going through it, but, you know, surround yourself with people better than you,
and they'll definitely pull you out of the...
I mean, it's a deficit of despair.
I mean, it's an amazing story.
At one point, I thought when you made the return to the skateboarding thing,
I thought, oh, you're going to start skateboarding again.
You feel better than it almost killed you.
And didn't even have trucks and wheels on the thing yet.
Exactly.
Oh, man.
I'm going to take a second to absorb all that.
I was going to ask you this later when we talk about Ibogaine and DMT
and some of the emerging therapeutics for PTSD, substance abuse.
and other things that veterans are really fully embracing now
and are making a clear march
toward broader treatment of mental health issues.
But I'll ask you now, and I'll probably ask you again later,
at any point in this or headed into this whole set of things,
setbacks and comebacks, did you have feelings of higher power?
I mean, I don't want to put you on the spot,
but were you raised religious,
to believe in God, any of that.
I mean, you know, were it not for the fact that a very, very seriously, scientifically educated
a friend of mine, Stanford Medical School, Harvard Medical, who was a lifetime atheist, turned
to me recently, and he said, you know, he said, in his words, I believe in miracles.
And I said, miracle miracles or medical miracles?
And he said, miracle miracles.
I said, really, you of all people?
And he said, yeah, I believe in, and I said, how?
And he said, because I don't want to review who this person is out of, you know,
it's his right to talk about these things.
But he said, because of his math training, he said, you know,
that some of the things he's seen and experienced have exceeded probability statistics
that it's impossible for the, that literally,
impossible for these things to happen. This isn't, you know, one in a trillion or one in 10 trillion
that it, that some of these miracles go beyond what chance could provide intersecting chances.
And so, you know, to hear a story like yours, people will come up with their own interpretations
and I'm a scientist. I believe in science. I do happen to believe in God, but it's an individual
choice for everybody. But did you ever step back and wonder whether or not, in addition to Vernon,
in addition to Maddie, in addition to your teammates,
in addition to your wife, whose father happened to be a team guy.
I mean, there's some things around Virginia Beach.
They could have predicted that, perhaps, but did you ever pause and just go,
yeah, maybe there are forces beyond everything I can see that are watching out for me
because you've had a number of second, third, fourth chances that are starting to sound miraculous.
They are.
We didn't grow up religious.
at home. I was always spiritual. Always. Like, and I mean, you experience things in life that
can't be, can't be explained. And then when you see religious people, like, well, that's a
miracle. You're like, is it a miracle? Am I just lucky? You start to look at it. And then you do
5Mio DMT and you realize like, yep, yep, it's got to be, it's got to be real. Like,
there has to be a higher power. There has to be something that's pulling the strings, it's making
this happen, like divine intervention. There's no reason I should be here after that.
After this, this, you add up all these things, like, there's not a chance.
Like, why?
Like, what am I supposed to be doing here?
How am I supposed to pay that forward?
Like, if somebody's pulling the strings to make sure I'm sitting in a seat, what am I doing
to make sure I'm not wasting this opportunity?
But, I mean, it definitely makes you question.
I mean, I definitely see why guys get, I don't say hung up on religion, but when they
really buy in, they really turn the page, you know, like, how much of that is just for TV?
None of it with that guy.
right like he felt it he saw the change and i mean i've seen too many miracles happen to believe that
somebody's not behind it some things not behind it yeah i appreciate you sharing that um i realize
that especially on a science health podcast and we talk about other things but it's talked about it more
and more recently just i mean i can't help but be a curious human being and wonder about these
things um whatever the case may be uh you you made it through um you retired you i couldn't imagine
if your wife had uh had um heard that you were not going to retire i i mean i like to think that
nothing can break your guys this marriage but man that's got that's a lot to bear she was over it
yeah with the kids seeing this um yeah you know and i had turned myself into something that was
I wasn't proud of.
You know, I talk about dials not switches.
Being able to power down, powered up, powered off.
I never did that.
So she got to see the transition from being at Siltington
and then going over the Tier 1 organization
and what that does with you,
the pressure to perform, the performance on demand.
It changed you.
It has to.
You can't be the same person you were at 17, 19, 20,
and then do that job.
You can't.
You have to be able to change.
And I think a lot of that
It was just it was wearing her down
I mean I was going so much
And a lot of that
I try to explain to the guys now
Like don't do what I did
I would go on every single trip I couldn't
Because I was living these
Multiple different lives
Like I would go out to Arizona
And I would skydive
For months on end
I mean
I think I did almost 4,000 jumps
In seven years
We went
We turned the page
And that's deploying
That's every other training trip
That's just sacrificing
every weekend and making big pushes out there.
But when you go, no one knows who you are.
They don't know what you do for a job.
They just think you're a normal scot ever.
Like we're doing these big way formations
and trying out for world records
and doing all this stuff and it's amazing.
But it just takes you so far away
from that person I have to be in Virginia Beach
and become addicted to it.
And then when I go here, I can be someone else completely.
No one knows who I am.
I go on this trip.
No one knows who I am.
You don't talk about the job you do.
You make of a line.
I'll throw them out there and it'll make them all mad.
tell everybody you're part of the Red Bull Air Force.
Red Bull Air Force.
Yeah.
Like, we skydied out with all the boys.
We know them all.
And because you skydive enough, you can speak to lingo.
Like, they see you out all the drop zones.
They see, you can fake that really, really well.
Some guys will be a hot air balloon pilot.
You'll be an MMA fighter.
You'll be a hockey team or we had real long hair.
You can adopt these different personas.
And I think a lot of that is just trying to compartmentalize what you have back home.
It's where I don't have to think about it.
Because you'll literally, I mean, your buddies will tell you,
You'll be sitting on the couch at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
And when that pager goes off, you're gone right now.
Like you've got 30 minutes.
There's no goodbye.
There's no, oh, let me swing by work quick and give you one kiss.
You don't go on fishing, jump in a car and you're gone.
And you've got to be able to shut it off.
It's very, very hard to do when you're just so obsessed with being the best husband and the best father.
You can't shut that off.
The whole flight in, you just sink it out of me.
If this happens, this happens, how my daughter's going to react.
oh my god they're going to come here what point of the day she's going to get the news how
what do they get me i'm not going to be there for the marriage i'm not going to be here for this
this you start to think about everything you're going to miss cloud your judgment and it makes
you hesitate at that moment you can't you can't hesitate especially when no one else does and
you paint that in your mind nobody else in here is thinking about being a full-time dad or a
full-time husband right now nobody cares if i'm a 63% husband nobody cares they need me to do this job at
100% because that's what this craft deserves.
But it turns you into something you don't want to be long term.
It's hard, man.
But she was done.
She was begging for me to hang it up because all of our friends are dying.
And then all the guys that transitioned out and they started doing contracting jobs,
they're getting killed, they're getting shot, we're picking up from the hospital.
What else you want me to do?
There's no retirement club.
You want to work at Home Depot?
What do you want me to do?
I only know how to do this one thing.
And that was the plan.
I was going to retire and start coming.
contracting with one of the government agencies and essentially do the same job I do now,
just make a little bit better money, a little bit better schedule, and one thing led to another
and ended up not doing it.
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I want to talk about Ibogaine, DMT, mental health, but first I want to talk a little bit about posture.
Recently, I heard you talking about physical posture in the gym, literally form, and how upright one is with their stance or squat, and how that translates to mental posture.
And it was the first time I've ever heard anyone talk about translating the physical into the mental in this way.
So if you don't mind, how do you think about mental posture and physical posture and how the two intersect?
I think in that analogy, the metaphor I used physical posture, if you think if I stand feet shoulder with apart and I put a barbell on me, you slide on 45s.
I'm strong.
Two more 45s, I'm strong.
You could load up eight, nine hundred pounds and I could sit there and hold it.
or if you put 315 pounds on it, I can drop, butt the floor, and I can squat it.
If I hold it at 90 degrees and you add on a 45, it feels like a ton.
You start adding on tens, everything starts to quiver.
I use the same thing as my mental health.
If I wake up in the morning, I've set my morning routine, and I'm firing on all laid cylinders,
you can stack on everything on top of me.
Because I'm in an optimal state, I can take it just like I'm in a full posture.
Just keep giving it to me, keep giving it to me.
If I wake up, my morning routine's not there.
I start reading some hateful stuff in the morning.
Don't have a good input with my wife first thing.
I'm stuck behind the school bus late for my first meeting.
Now you hand me a parking ticket.
It feels like the world is collapsing on top of me and I can't do anything for it.
So throughout the entire day, that's the whole purpose of the micro-win kind of formula.
Stack up as many wins to put yourself in optimal headspace because reality isn't going to know.
It's going to smack you either way.
And if I keep myself blocking everything that's externally,
toxic to me. When something does get put on me that I have to wear, I'm in a good posture
to put it on. That jacket might weigh 55 pounds. I put it on, and I'm still strong because I've
been dropping off everything that I don't need to wear all day long. But yeah, I mean,
but you'll see it. I mean, I know you see it. Analyze people all day long. When people are in
a negative head space, their posture changes. Their head drops, their shoulders roll forward.
They're always looking at the ground. They're never up processing information. It's because
they're dragging whatever just happened all day long.
Now you add in one more thing.
Your mom's got cancer.
Oh. Your wife's going to leave you.
Oh.
Your kids are so...
Everything just starts to weigh down you.
And it feels like something you'll never get past.
Insurmountable at some point.
And that's all because you'll start to let it slowly but surely chip away at you.
It's like control the things you can control and the things you can't control,
you either avoid them completely or you take them as...
That's a reality you have to live.
through right now. I don't know why you have cancer, but you do, and you got to get through it.
Okay. Well, what positive things do I have? Great relationship with my wife, great relationship
of my kids, great relationship with my friends, my social circle is shrunk, everyone around me is
better than me and they want me to be better. Okay. Well, I can take on a whole lot if I don't have
a tight circle, no relationship of my wife, ostracized my kids, everything. Now you start to
add on that external stress. It cripples me really, really fast. And I know I'm
I'm not the only one.
So when I say it to everybody, whatever you have going on right now, whatever is absorbing
all your bandwidth, it's us too.
But you're choosing to wear that jacket all day.
You're putting on another one and then another one.
And you add the external pressure of having to provide for a family and be, you know,
that emotionally stable figure for the household.
It's hard to do all day long and a lot of people lose sight of it.
And I think that's why so many people close their chapter early.
They offer suicide because they think.
think there's no way I can write this ship.
Like, it's gone too far right now,
and I don't want to have to sit here and rebuild it,
and they close the chapter out.
It's like, if we could have eliminated all those things
and given yourself a breath of fresh air,
would you have done the same thing?
If I would have grabbed you right before the moment,
you're like, this isn't permanent.
You can fix this right now.
You just have to change these aspects.
They would.
In the moment, though, when I've been there,
you don't have the clarity.
You don't have the vision
And a guy told me a long time ago, he goes, I think a lot of people want to hit the reset button on the Nintendo.
Chiching, restart the game.
You're not restarting the game.
It's over forever.
And I hate seeing people do it.
I think now, you know, after I've come out of the medicine, I've done a bunch of therapy and cut out a lot of toxicity out of my life, I've gotten that breath of fresh air.
And I'm just, you know, I told Marcus and Amber Capone when I came out of the treatment, I'm going to jump on the nearest building.
I'm going to shout it from the rooftops.
Like, this will help.
There is a way out of this funk.
It's just one step further than you've currently gone.
There's light at the end of that tunnel.
Just one step further, one step further.
And just continuously go and it'll get better.
Yeah, for me, posture is a huge thing.
In combatas, it's a huge thing.
In processing information, it's a huge thing.
In dealing with stress, it's a huge thing.
I can't let myself collapse.
Because once you start adding another pound to me,
it hits me to the floor really fast.
So control the things you can.
control. And a lot of it's just your posture and your perspective. Great message. Would you agree
that lying down in bed on one's phone on social media is a very dangerous posture? Because I would
argue that. And I also tell guys, if you are going to lay in a fetal position and tweet out how bad
your mental health is, stop. Go to a Starbucks. Go to Whole Foods, walk around and see normal
human interaction and tell a stranger yourself for mental health. They don't do it. You're just going to
sit there in a fetal position, feeling sorry for yourself, and you think it'll get better tomorrow.
It won't. I've already lived that life. I've already painted the picture for you. I've played you
the movie. You've watched it. It's not going to work. You're going to have to get out of that bed,
and you're going to have to do something every single day that brings you out of that dark depression.
And for me, it's physical movement. If you have the ability to move, move, move. Don't lay in that bed.
Don't just sit there and scroll. You know, Vernon says it, your diet's important. Not what you eat,
but what you consume.
Visually, audio, the music you listen to, we all know.
There's some music you listen to that just changed you ever so slightly.
Is that the person I need to be walking to this door?
Do I need to Blair Megadeth right now?
No, I need to play Ludovico.
That's what I need.
I need to walk into this room at 100% full capacity
and just receive whatever energy is in the room right now.
It's hard to do if I'm in the depths of despair right now.
So, yeah, I try to put myself in the room.
position where I have optimal posture all day.
You mentioned Marcus and Amber Capone.
Now is probably a good time for us to just reference who they are and the work that you guys
have been doing.
And anytime I sort of plug something or mention something, I want to be very clear.
I don't have any formal affiliation to this upcoming Netflix show, movie.
Is it a film, excuse me, to this upcoming Netflix film.
But it's going to be an incredible film.
I know this because I've seen bits.
of it. Maybe just mention who Marcus and Amber Capone are and what they've been doing
in the film. I do think this is something everyone should see. I'm definitely going to see it.
And I'll just say that I think their organization veteran solutions is one I've been paying
attention to and trying to support in ways I can over the last, gosh, it's been three, four
years. So maybe tell us about Marcus and Amber and the film.
So Marcus joined the SEAL teams right pre-9-11?
Married Amber had a baby
right now in the SEAL team's got stationed
on the East Coast of me at SEAL Team 10
and you could watch him change
throughout the years like everybody else
because he's such a big polarizing figure
he's hard to miss
I mean he's probably six five
two or he's a big guy
and he was extremely intimidating
but he always had a light in his eyes
he always seemed like a dude you wanted to be around
and after the conflicts
and a multiple deployments I mean you'd see him
out in town and his eyes got
jet black and he would be a guy that if you were walking on a street and you saw him come out
just the way he looked at you you would cross the street and he became one of those guys i gave the
analogy walking to the SPCA and you see that pit bull ears been shaved off there's scars all over his
face you're not going to put your hand in that cage marcus copone was like that he leads to seal teams
has a very rocky transition gets job in finance moves around and you hear it through the rumor mill
about how bad he's doing, drinking, just not the person you wanted him to be, and definitely
not the transition you wanted for him. And then it got so bad, you know, suicide was definitely
on the table, circling a drain, drinking way too much, just toxic in every way you can
imagine. And Amber, being the angel that she is, started to research different solutions.
He did MERT, meditation, yoga, talk therapy, drugs, did everything you could. And she found
I began in 5MEODMT and convinced him to go down there.
And it was one of those things, much like mine, you're going to go do this treatment,
and this is our last attempt.
And if this doesn't work, I'm leaving you.
And for a team wife that's thrown the towel after the career is over,
that lets you know how bad it is, because they have combated that entire thing.
I mean, they were in the heart of NSW, in the heart of the GW,
and buried more friends than you ever care to count.
And after all of that, she's finally going to throw in that.
the towel. That's how bad he's gotten. And you know, you hear that he came back and you wouldn't
even recognize him. You're like, you won't believe what Marcus Capone looks like. And I hadn't seen
him, but you got to understand coming from the East Coast and I'm an idealist. Like, I'm a true
believer. And when you hear that Marcus left the East Coast and went to the West Coast and now he's
doing yoga, meditation in smoking toad venom, you're like, West Coast, typical. I knew you'd turn
him. And then you see him. You're like,
That's the best version of Marcus I've ever seen.
And he's not a pacifist.
He can still roll that dial all the way over, but he has full control over it.
You know, 20 years old, flicked a Navy SEAL switch and just live that life until the fullest.
Never had a balance point.
Never needed one.
Never tried to adopt one.
So during my whole transition, I'll say when he got out, they set dormant on that medication for a while because it was so out there.
And you didn't want to shock the culture.
you didn't want to shock the community, and it's taboo.
I mean, doing psychedelics is not a thing that Navy SEALs do.
Yeah, and I began as a 22-hour psychedelic.
It's a very esoteric.
Most people have heard of psilocybin or even LSD or MDMA and DMT.
I mean, it's a, this is as far out there as you possibly can go.
I'm sure someone's sitting there.
It's like, no, there's some chemical made in, you know, but it's extreme.
It is extreme.
And just like the SEAL teams, you do everything to the extreme, and that's where you go.
It seems to be a theme there, yeah.
And, you know, I was going through a similar thing.
But when they came out, one of his very good friends, Chad Wilkinson, committed suicide.
And I think enough was enough.
And that was one of his best friends.
And it crippled him.
And when you see him, get the news, you can watch that.
Oh, God, I'm trying to cry.
You can watch that loss affect him in a way that nobody else will understand.
And he knew he was holding on to this secret.
Like, this saved my life.
And if I would have given that to him, he'd still be here.
and I know it.
What am I going to do?
I got to start a 501c3
and I got to start saving as many people
as humanly possible
and selfishly I'm going to save
as many seals as humanly possible.
And once you saved one,
save two, three, four,
five, army rangers, green brace,
fighter pilots.
They all just start pouring in here.
It's the same trauma.
It doesn't matter how you got it.
You're at the brink of it
and you're going to close this chapter out
and this medicine is going to give you that breath.
It's going to give you that relief.
Cannot do it.
And they made this
little infomercial that was on social media talking about psychedelics and I had heard about it
and I kind of whitewashed it and my wife was at the same point. She was getting ready to leave me
and take the two kids and I can't do this anymore. And we laid in bed one night and she watched it
and she was crying and she leaned over and she made me watch it. I started bawling because I could
see the difference. So last time I saw Marcus and this Marcus is very, very different. And she looked
over and she goes, if you love me, you'll go. I'll go. I'll go to psychedelics and my friends and
Mexico. Sure. I never thought it would do anything because I had messed up so much until that
point. All the pharmaceuticals, all the mistakes I had made, the infidelity, everything had led me
up to that point, and I had that secret inside me, and I did not have the strength to tell her.
I didn't want to break her heart about all the things I had messed up. And for me, if you think
me going down to Mexico is going to save our marriage, I will 100% do it. But I never thought for a chance.
would never and I went down there with a bunch of guys that were legends inside of the community
and you know ambio Trevor Jose Jonathan Brianna everybody ambio life scientists they run the best
facility I've ever been a part of in any facility that medicine is so strong and I think
that's why guys get such relief it's the only thing stronger than your ego because you've
turned yourself into this vessel you think represents the essence of what being a Navy seal is
You're hard, you're determined, you'll never lose.
Like, you'll sacrifice everything right now
if the group asks you to do it.
But you won't do it for yourself.
You'll never put your individual needs
above the needs of the group.
And this is one point where you have to.
You have to go for the good of the group.
I have to suck up my ego,
got to suck up my pride,
and I have to try to kill it right now.
And we went down there and took that medicine.
And I have a combative's instructor
who's name's Tom Kair
from Seahak, Tatchel,
group. If you've ever watched the movie The Hunted with Denizio Del Toro, the night fighting,
that's what they do, and they are the best in the world. And Tom Kair is a knowledge transfer
specialist. He's changed my life in mindset more than anybody else on a planet. And he told me
a quote the other day, and it references this kind of, and we were talking about experience,
and he goes, if you understand, no explanations needed. If you don't understand, no explanation
is possible. And that came from Dave Joyce, another Seahak disciple. And it's the truest thing
ever heard unless you've done ibegain unless you've done psychedelics in a therapeutic setting you'll have
no idea how powerful it is and when i woke up that next day everything i had ever done negative
positive erased everything negative every conversation every bad deed every time i've hurt anybody
every time i've made my wife cry every time i've not been present was in a forefront of my mind
and i felt absolutely terrible i felt like a monster for everything i had done every time i had not been
present, every time I had sacrificed them for this thing, I didn't want to go home. And at the same
token, it was the only time in my life I'd ever been homesick. I wanted to teleport and go home
and wrap my arms around those three, but I was so embarrassed to everything that I had done.
There's no way I can do it. I can't go home and break their heart. And you have the gray day after
you do I began, I mean, it feels like you got hit by a freight train just in your fields,
dudes are throwing up all day, depending on how your experience is, the next day you do
5MEODMT, and that's the ego death.
You know, it comes to snoring desert toad, they milk out the poison glands, and that's essentially
what you're smoking.
It's pretty intimidating.
It looks like you're smoking crack rock.
And that experience, when you smoke that, it must be like either what finding religion
or what dying's like.
Well, you almost died with the electrocution, and we had a,
very accomplished neuroscientist on the podcast,
Christoph Kock, who talked about,
he's been staying consciousness for a long time,
and he talked about his experiences on 5MEODMT,
total dissolution of self,
total dissolution of space and time,
but he described that his mind was still there,
but nothing else was there.
And again, if someone hasn't done it,
I've never done it,
but if someone hasn't done,
I'm guessing that no description will suffice,
I've heard it like from another team guy being described as being strapped to the shockwave of an atom bomb.
I've heard a bunch of different description sounds.
When you come out of that experience, however, how did that reframe the electrocution, the loss of, I mean, we could spend three days talking about every single guy that you know that's been killed and still probably only touch on a small number of them, sadly.
You know, so how does all that get reframed coming out of an experience like that?
The biggest concern doing Ibergain was that you were going to be stuck inside of your own thoughts.
Everybody you had lost, you were just going to relive it, you were going to be in the back of that helicopter,
you were just going to have to relive that for 24 straight hours.
And I will tell you that not a single person that I have ever done Ivergain with has ever had any military experience.
It's always been your childhood and then a reflection of what you've done to your wife and kids.
It gaps it.
So I've done I again four times.
I have never had a singular military experience ever.
Nothing.
Childhood?
Childhood.
Big time.
Childhood.
And then in the actual medicine, it would allow me to relive past events with my father,
with my mother, hard conversations, you know, blowups, arguments, screaming, smash.
Things you had forgotten.
Things that were never on my conscious mind.
And now I'm reliving them.
And then it would shift.
And it would be me doing that exact same.
thing to my wife, to my kids. And then it'll put you in their position. So when I'm screaming,
I'm projecting just this hate and this venomous shooting out of me, I can be that seven-year-old
little girl. And I can feel how frightened she is by what she's watching her father turn into.
So real empathy. That is what it is. You become so empathetic to everyone and everything.
And it's the forefront of your mind. Like, I don't want to go home because now I know what I've done.
I can't mask it anymore.
There's no more compartmentalization.
I've done all those things.
I've said that terrible stuff.
And I'm never going to be able to re-earn my seat of the table.
And it's one of those weird predicaments where I want to go home, but I don't because
I don't want to face that I actually did and said that.
It's like, out of every good thing I've ever done, it all got erased on that moment.
The only thing we're going to focus on is all the bad stuff you've ever done and said.
So when we came into 5MEO, I did six rounds of 5MEO, my first.
time down there. Every single one is the most painful thing you've ever been a part of.
It feels, and Trevor says it beautifully down at AMBO. He said, whatever's going to happen,
let it happen. If you think you're going to explode, explode. You think you're going to die,
die. If you think you're going to drown or blast off in the stratosphere, do it. Don't try
to control it. That medicine will take you exactly where you need to go. You just have to let it.
And every time I would, I would start, I would scream, and then I would cry and convulse
throw up
and I'd wake up
and I'd look around
and he'd look at me again
hit him again
and I'd do it again
and I'd do it again
and it was the very last time
I did 5MEL
and you get I'm just saying
I was super depressed
and I was most certainly suicidal
I did not want to come home
and face reality
and I took that last one
and right before I did
I can't remember if it was the
nurse or because we used to have
teen guys who would sit there
and hold space for you
not taking the medicine
just they were there
to basically safeguard the house
so you could just focus on you
because it's hard to be put under
essentially anesthesia in a foreign country
and you don't know what's going to happen to you.
So just comforted in knowing
there's team guys around you.
And he was either the nurse
or one of the team guys goes,
you want to kill yourself, right?
I said, yeah.
And he goes, then do it.
Do it with this right here.
And I changed my intention for the medicine
and I told myself it was this pink toxin,
this purple toxin.
I'm going to inhale it.
I'm going to coat my entire body with this.
I'm going to kill myself.
right here so I don't have to go home and that changed the entire experience for me everything shrunk
down jet black and a single white pixel showed up and it exploded and it looked like it was star track
taken off all the tracers and everything it felt like your sternum broke open and your soul left your
body and it was the true ego death and it went from screaming thrashing to complete bliss
and love and affection and empathy and compassion and everything
and I woke up and I looked at him
and I could not believe the way I instantly
I mean the most sober you've ever been
you're not on any medication not cannabis not not an adder well
nothing you can't be on any medication when you go down there
so this is true sobriety at its finest and when you wake up
it's exactly like the electrocution everything is more vibrant
the table edges are slick and clean like I can feel the taste
and the texture and I can feel the energy
coming out of everybody and it's like I can tell her I can go home and I can confess everything
right now because I understand that I have done more good than bad and she's going to see it
she just has to see the new me and we went home and you know everything kind of unfolded and
all my past indiscretions came to life and it was it was the darkest moment for me because I didn't
think she was going to take me back and she ends up pulling my sunglasses off she pulls them off
and looks at me and essentially collapsed in my arms, like I was back. I'd been gone for 15 years,
and now I'm home. And the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. And if I wouldn't have gone
down to Mexico, there was no talk therapy, there was no meditation, there was no cold plunge,
it was going to get me there. It was something stronger than me. And when you look back,
I've been building that physical vessel, this mental, resilient vessel, this entire time,
so nothing could break me. And I needed something stronger than that to break me. And the moment it did,
my whole life changed.
Everything changed.
And I really became an advocate for the medicine
because I've been there.
I've been sitting in my guest room
with that pistol in my lap,
staring around the ceiling,
wondering where my brain matter's going to go
and what my wife's going to see
and how she's going to have to clean it up
and resell the house and just all the things.
I mean, that's where you're at
and that's where a lot of guys are
and they don't believe they can get a breath of fresh air
and that medicine will give it to you.
It is not a cure-all.
You mean, you have to go back
and restructure your entire life
and cut out the toxicity
and that was one of the most powerful things we did
is I came back from that medicine.
I sit down the edge of that bed with my wife
after we had gone through everything I had done
and I went through my phone
and we blocked and deleted about 150 people out of my life.
Best thing I ever did.
You're never coming back in here.
I've been trying to foster
and save that relationship
of the better part of a decade.
I'm not doing it anymore.
You're robbing bandwidth
and you're robbing the little time I have left on this planet
that I'm going to try to devour.
vote to my family because I have to re-earn this seat at the table every single day.
And it gave me the ability to do that.
And I came home, started preaching about the medicine.
And then as I started to tell guys, you'd see guys who were interested.
And they were like, well, if it worked for him, because I'm a true believer, I'm devout.
And they're like, if it worked for him, it'll work for me, but they're scared to go.
So I was probably home maybe a month or two.
I went right back down, and I essentially hosted one.
I'm cooking breakfast for the boys.
I'm cleaning. It's not off of them. I'm doing the whole thing, just trying to push them
and slowly. But surely, you start saving guys, 10 guys at a time over and over. You know, that's really
all because of Marcus and Amber. If they would not have made that little infomercial airing out all
their dirty laundry and how open and transparent he was, like that is not the Navy SEAL way. That is
not how you're supposed to do it. And when he did it, it was so empowering to me. I mean, I looked
up to him. I mean, he was on his second deployment when I came in and, you know, Marcus is larger
than life to me. So when you see that openness, that transparent, I can do that. I can do that
too. And if I do that, some kid going through the exact same thing as me that's stuck on that island
alone will see me and go, if he can do it, I can do it. You got to want to change. And you have to put
steps in place to where you can live at a full value. The morning routine. I don't break it
because I know what happens if I don't have it. The worst I've ever been, I wasn't living that morning
routine. I was still working out, but it was chaotic at best, right? Like my range wasn't there,
my combatives wasn't there. I slowly let it drift away to where I was the shell of myself.
Once I got that breath of fresh air, I am never going back. I mean, I just came back on
Saturday. I went back down again. Took out a bunch of veterans, a bunch of civilians that were down
there. And it's so interesting to see because you have fighter pilots that are down there.
You have normal housewives that have drinking problems, toxic marriage.
sexual abuse, all this different stuff, and everybody's ended up the exact same spot.
We've tried everything.
We tried the drugs.
We tried the talk therapy.
The cold plunges, the sonnas, all that.
And it's helping, but it's not getting us over the goal line.
And when those people wake up the very next day, they are at total rock bottom.
And when they come out of that 5MEODMT, their feet don't hit the ground for months.
You are on cloud nine, and you cannot believe how good you feel.
I just want the world to be able to experience that.
It doesn't matter what trauma you have going on.
It's not a Navy SEAL medicine or a medicine for special operation.
This is a medicine to save humanity.
And if you were at the bottom of the barrel right now, they'll save you.
I mean, I went on 60 pills a day.
I'm not on anything.
Not a single pain med.
I mean, I've got more screws me than Home Depot.
And I feel like a million bucks.
But, you know, for me and my family deserved it.
And if I have to go down there and go through all that trauma over a five-day period,
to give them a better version of myself,
I'll do it every single time.
That juice is so worth to squeeze.
But it's scary, man.
It is because you're afraid.
And when I talk to guys,
they're so afraid they're going to come out of it and be a pacifist.
They're afraid they're going to lose the edge and like,
well, what if you did that medicine while you were in the teams?
Could you still do that job?
100%.
I just wouldn't have drug him home with me.
I could have done that job and empowered it off.
And I could have done my same routine now
and I could have went home and been a full-time husband
and a full-time father.
I could still compartmentalize it when I went to work and I could just focus on work because I'm running on dials and not switches.
You can't just turn it on and shut it off. You can't. You got to be able to back it off slowly.
And that's why I use that drive into work every day. I'm not thinking about my family in three, two, one.
All I'm thinking about is a lift because that's the only priority I have.
Once a lift is done, what's a piece of content we're shooting? What's the training course we're doing?
Who do I need to be when I walk through that threshold? And that medicine really gave me the ability to navigate between those spaces.
is better than anything else I've ever found.
I'm so thankful for it.
I know it sounds hokey, and I am not that guy, you know, yoga and, you know, crystal.
I'm not that dude.
And it's very foo-foo.
A lot of it is, and a lot of people practicing that stuff, they push it so far out
and left that you think that you ended up like one of the lost boys,
run around the rainforest with feathers hanging out of your hair.
It's not like that.
It's not like that at all.
It's an amazing facility.
it's an amazing program, and I'm just so thankful that they had the ability to share that message.
If they wouldn't have, we'd be in the exact same position.
I think they've put in, I think, 3,000 or 4,000 people through that medicine in the last, I think, three years.
They're absolutely saving people's lives.
It's been remarkable to see the growth of veteran solutions.
Again, I have no formal affiliation.
It's just something that I observed, and I really respect.
and my colleague who's been a guest on this podcast, Dr. Nolan Williams, he's a triple board
certified physician. He's my colleague at Stanford. And, you know, a couple of reflections
that I think perhaps are also important for people listening to hear because you said go down there.
It's done in Mexico because it's still not legalized in the United States. It requires supervision.
This is very different even than psilocybin MDMA, LSD. There's really,
no recreational use of these things that is reasonable or safe.
So just, I'm not saying that, just to protect myself, I'm saying that to protect people
listening.
That said, you know, Nolan and I have talked a lot about this.
He's the one scanning guys that go down there and come back.
And I think it's fair to say that pretty much every positive shift, whether it's an
improvement or a cure from a mental health issue.
is brain plasticity.
Something gets rewired.
And these are tools
to enable brain plasticity.
And I think it's helpful,
perhaps, for people to hear it that way
because psychedelic sounds like,
tie-dye sounds like kaleidoscope,
sounds like magic carpet,
sounds like the 60s,
sounds like people staring at the sun,
burning their eyes out,
and then talking about how they've seen God
and everyone else needs to have the same experience,
summer love, dirty feet, and all that.
Okay.
It is amazing to me that the veterans community
and a bipartisan effort, I will say.
This is one of the few truly bipartisan efforts out there.
Everything's so polarized.
But former Governor Rick Perry of Texas,
who is self-described knuckle-dragging Republican.
He said that.
I'm not saying that about him.
He says it every time as fully embraced Ibegain
and what heart medicine it sometimes called
the MDMA therapies as well.
And it's been really working with people
on the Democratic side of the aisle
to try and get FDA approval for this.
stuff in the United States, first for the treatment of veterans and other people with substance
use and severe trauma issues first. And then it will be explored how this could wick out
into the broader population. But I just think of them as incredibly powerful tools for brain
plasticity. And then maybe that just kind of softens for people in their minds a little bit
of just how wild and crazy it is. I mean, the experiences are extreme. As you said, it's challenging
to be in the Ibogaine. I've heard that from everyone who's done it.
I haven't yet done Abigail at some point I will, but I've certainly done therapeutic sessions with MDMA, therapeutic and a high-dose psilocybin, and it can be terrifying, and you need to be someone there to help guide you through it at times.
But I'm so happy that Marcus and Amber undertook this project that you joined up with that project and the Netflix movie.
We'll provide a link to it if it's out.
Otherwise, we'll just cue people to the fact that they should definitely watch this.
It's an extremely compelling and important story for people to hear.
I can't help but mention just because I've had the great experience of being able to interact with someone people around this.
And the effort is so wholehearted and is so deeply rooted in trying to help people.
And I think that's really important for people to hear too because anytime there's a business association with things, people all start to color that.
But it's just, there's just so much pure intent in all of this.
I also have gotten to know Sarah Wilkinson a little bit.
She's amazing.
She's amazing, Chad's wife, first through Veteran Solutions.
And, you know, she's an amazing woman.
And, you know, and I think it's been challenging to see all these guys that he was friends with get better, right?
And it's so tragic that someone has to take their own life for things like this to eventually get stimulated.
But the amount of good that veteran solutions is catalyzing is really spectacular.
And so I'm glad we're taking some time to talk about it.
I think it's been discussed on other podcasts.
I think this movement's just going to grow.
I think it's broken through now, and hopefully this will continue to help it break through.
When the whole thing first started, John Shank and Bonnie Cohen reached out about doing the film in Ways and War,
and they actually kind of tricked me to be a part of it.
They told me that Marcus and Amber were spearheading this project.
So I was like, if Marcus and Amber and I'm in, I owe them anyway, they saved.
me, I'm into it. That wasn't really the case. They spearheaded me. I'm on board. And then they convinced
Marcus and Amber to join on board. Now it's essentially his whole story, unfiltered, unbiased, my whole
story, and then us going back for my buddy Maddie and how all our lives are entangled in teams and
just all the trauma we all share and how we're all getting through it. But, you know, it kills
addiction in one shot, which is crazy. People had addicted to heroin. Like I dipped Copenhagen for 17
years. Never wanted to quit. I woke up the very next morning from my abagana. I never had a dip.
It's so wild. And I want to dip. Like, I miss it. And as soon as I smell it, I can't do it. It's like,
I didn't drink coffee for six months. It's like, I want to drink coffee. And then I have no desire.
My energy levels are through the roof. Like, everything is better. I kind of just want to be
normal again. It's like slow, maturely introduced coffee and whatever else. But you have no
addictions, and I was at the bottom of the barrel. I mean, I was taking extreme doses of gabapentin,
tram it all, toward all, everything else. And, you know, tram it all is not habit forming. Yeah,
take it for 12 years and tell me it's not. Like, it most certainly is. And to be able to whitewash
all of that gone in one shot, I mean, the doctor's, I was never getting off those meds. Never.
Like, if you want to function in society, you have to take these medications for the rest of your
life. And I was fine with it. I'm totally good. And then on the back of the,
side you see that it doesn't matter if I was drinking a 12 pack a day or if I was just popping any 60 pills, I was under the influence of something all day, every day for 15 years. That's not how I want to be. It's not how I want to live my next 40 years. It's like it's really put me in a position where I'm so hyperware everything that I input and then everything that I output. It gives you that, it gives you complete control. And I think some guys just need to, they need that breath of fresh air. They need that instant relief to go, okay.
Okay.
I can live with this now.
And if you just keep living that positive lifestyle, it'll become your new norm, right?
But you have to really want to change.
For me, I've never found anything that powerful in my life.
Because a lot of guys are scared.
They're scared about going down to Mexico and whatever it is.
There's a 25-person staff in that house with you.
Three paramedics, three RNs, they've got cardiac cert.
They have everybody in there.
The chefs in there are amazing.
and Michelin Star Quality, the food you eat,
and there's indoor swimming pools.
Here's a Rakey lady in there
that will crack your soul open in 15 seconds flat.
I never thought Rakey was a thing
until she puts her hands on you.
The massage therapy, the breath work.
I mean, it's a whole holistic approach,
but because you've never just,
you've never allowed yourself to be vulnerable
in that position, and once you are,
they just start to unravel you so fast.
And that medicine's really the catalyst for the whole thing.
And once you see what you've,
can be. I can be the same guy that I was. Now I can just control him. I think that's what a lot
of guys lose when they leave the teams. Like, well, I've built myself into this because of that.
Well, I can't take that with me. So what do I do with this? My wife doesn't want this. I don't want
this. My kids can't build a relationship with this. What am I supposed to do now? And at some people
make those rash decisions, they don't know where to go. And I think that's what's so powerful
to medicine is that's the only thing stronger than the ego you've built up purpose built is that medicine
yeah i've changed my life for sure it's been great where my mind goes is you know um people who
aren't in the military um these days are also really struggling also i didn't point out um and you know
the united states in particular like we're at we're at a pretty dark moment it took me a
to actually, like, really internalized that.
I was like, man, like, like it, like last week, the Charlie Kirk thing, the same week
or just a few days before, that woman getting killed on the light rail, you got conflicts
all over the world, you've got a ton of domestic unrest, and people have come on this
podcast and argued that, you know, in the last century, there were a lot more deaths due to war
and this kind of thing.
You know, statistics and is, are one thing and they're important, but seeing people
murdered in cold blood in either very deliberate or in what seemed like almost kind of like
random like okay there was a person there so he killed there if there was someone else they might
kill maybe not who knows what the motivation was you know and and to think about how traumas like
that just the pain of the world can be lifted it's hard to imagine it happening in mass right
it's hard and yet I think we all deep down know that that has to happen and I think an attention to what young people are exposed to and trying to save them is the best thing about our species right protect our young make them put them into a world that's better than than the way we found it and at the same time I what you're describing is it's kind of a it sounds like the medicine for lack of a better way to put it at that the society and like this kind of global
consciousness really needs. I've said before, and I'll say it again, I think if you look at humans
across history, we've always had conflict. We've always created trauma for each other. We've
not ever really been perfect, ever. We're not perfect. We're flawed. We're all flawed. I think
that's important to remember. And that things will improve over time. Perhaps this can be like a
sawtooth up into the right kind of graph. But you wonder if there was going to be a massive shift in
collective consciousness and people were going to really heal their traumas and really start
to see other people differently, that's going to require some very powerful tools.
And I just can't help but think there is no magic solution.
People have to want to change and on and on.
But the Ibegain sounds like a special tool, different than the other psychedelics, because of
the amount of attention and detail that's required to keep people safe while they do it,
you need heart monitoring, and it's a medical treatment in many ways.
I think we should probably talk about it and frame it that way going forward.
It's a medical treatment.
The word psychedelic is a very loaded phrase, and it's one of the things that I worry about
in terms of trying to get Ibigen and other treatments implemented more broadly.
In the same way that when about 10 years ago, we would think about breathwork and I want
to study respiration physiology in my lab, calling it respiration physiology, you know,
we have a clinical trial that we published on that.
If we called it breath work, it's kind of wacky.
You call it respiration and physiology, which is also true.
People are more willing to embrace it.
So these, to me, are neuroplasticity tools to help rewire one's brain for the better.
And I am very hopeful that what you've done, I mean, again, thank you.
You know, it's like, you know, we always thank people for their service.
But here now you've got people that served who are now going into this highly novel, at least for Americans, a treatment to help,
cure trauma and addiction, and you guys are first in, and Marcus and Amber are, you know,
early and first in. And people will argue, you know, these things have been around for a long
time in native cultures and in jungles. And I will say, just like meditation, just like
Yoga Nidra, just like hydrotherapy, light therapy, it's exactly because it's been shrouded
in complicated language that it isn't more broadly implemented. And I'm willing to say that a thousand
times over, if we truly care about people, we don't care what it's called. Sure, we want to
pay respect to people that developed these things long ago, but enough is enough. Like, it's
not about getting credit. It's about getting it out there. You're exactly right. When you say
psychedelics, everybody automatically labels it a certain way. And one of the best quotes overheard
is we gave, we gave I again to my buddy Maddie. And he woke up the next day and he goes,
there is nothing recreational about that.
Nope
There isn't
Terrifying
It can be
Some people wake up
And it's bliss
The entire time
And I'm so glad
You have that
But if you were laying
In Stanford right now
You gave me Ibigan
hooked up
The Harway monitors
You were running a study
They wouldn't bat an eye
It's like
Oh yeah
It's the same thing
You have the same people around you
They're taking detailed notes
Everything you say
I mean
This
You might as well be at a clinic
You are
It's in a beautiful house
beautiful staff and the entire thing, but that's what it is. This is a treatment. This is not a bunch of guys eating, smoking, doing whatever, peyote in the middle of the desert. It's not what that is. This is a very structured thing because you have some serious trauma. I think a lot of people label it like, oh, this is for guys with PTSD. I didn't go down there for PTSD. I went down there for whatever I've turned into, I was trying to get rid of that. And I'll tell you before, nothing in my military career has ever come up. None of it. That's not what
It's not what plagues me in night. It's not what keeps me up until two, three in the morning. That's not that. And I've resolved all the things that was troubling me. And it's because that medicine's so powerful. I just hope more people will get a hold of it. I think if we had the right people, putting out the right message on the right platforms, they get a hold of it. So many people want to hear hate speech. Like negativity goes a lot more than positivity a lot of times because people hang on to that. It's like, you know, I read something they were talking about the best public speech.
in human history, and Hitler was in the top five.
And they're like, well, just imagine if he was preaching positivity.
He could have turned that entire country and really giving them something to hang on to.
He just didn't.
And you wish that he would have been preaching the gospel.
You wish you would have been preaching love and kindness for all of humanity,
and then what would have happened in World War II?
Wouldn't happen.
Yeah, humans have an appetite for that anger.
There's a famous experiment by God.
named Robert Heath. He was a neuroscientist and neurosurgeon and very controversial guy
for all sorts of reasons. But he ran an experiment on humans where he was in the brain
stimulating different brain areas and he would implant little electrodes in humans. And people
had the opportunity then later to stimulate different brain areas and different brain areas
when stimulated evoked different subjective experiences. So they'd hit a lever, they'd feel
kind of drunk, hit another lever, they'd feel sexual.
rouse'll hit another lever. They'd feel laughter. Others, they'd feel less well. Do you know the number
one brain area? There weren't many subjects in this. It's a difficult experiment to do. But the number one
brain area that these subjects all wanted to hit again and again and again was an area of what's called
the midline thalamus that evokes feelings of mild anger and frustration. It's linked to the dopamine
system and it's associated with drive. And it's what we learn if we're adaptive to
funnel into creating things, building things, doing things, but it's very clear that we are
hardwired to be pulled into environments and discourses that evoke anger. I feel like anger and
numbing out are the two most dangerous things. And look, I love social media, teach on social
media, but being online makes it very easy to feel anger and to numb out. And, you know,
it's the ultimate drug, really, to offer that, in my opinion. And then there's this other
lane of life, right, which is harder to access where the real richness is, where the real stuff
is, where real meaning comes from, where time doesn't just disappear, and where you build things
that are lasting and that if I die in 10 seconds,
I'll know that I'd spend some time in that lane
or enough to know that that's where the really good stuff is.
And it's a bit more difficult or a lot more difficult to access,
but that's real life.
And the rest is a game that's being played on us
that takes advantage of some hard wiring
that I wish didn't exist, but it exists in all of us.
I think if we knew that that existed in all of us,
just like we have an appetite for sugar, you know, it's hardwired.
that we would make better choices.
So I'm so glad that you've done Ibegain and DMT in that setting
and that you guys are getting the message out there.
And I don't know what the broader implementation looks like,
but I like to think that with collaboration with Nolan,
what's having veteran solutions, Ambio and other clinics like it,
and really good for once,
really good politicians on both sides of the aisle arguing for this.
I'm hopeful.
I fully support my tax dollar.
going to the expansion of this.
I really do.
They've been spending a lot of time in the Beltway,
getting funding, you know, clinical trials, research,
doing the entire thing.
And they've got a whole coalition now.
Navy Seal Foundation stepped up,
a Green Bree Foundation.
I think maybe the Recon Foundation
and Wounded Warrior Project.
They all came to go coalition.
They're all going to get behind this
and all kind of push the exact same message.
Let's get the funding.
Let's get the research.
Let's prove that it works.
And hopefully, bring it to the U.S.
Like, we have to start with the veterans because it's smaller population, less than 1% of the population.
Let's target them.
Let's get first responders and let's open this thing up.
And, you know, Marcus is doing a lot to really beat that war drum.
And I'm just so thankful.
One of the things he said we went down there because you don't realize how palpable toxicity is.
Like, you want to be hateful sometimes.
And they're like, hurt people, hurt people.
You've been hurt, and now you want someone else to feel that exact same thing.
and you see something hateful on social media,
what's the first thing you do?
You go to the comment section, you read.
Yep, I feel that too.
I like that comment.
I'm a comment underneath it.
Yep.
You just start to project that hate over and over and over again.
If I say, look at it,
I'm not going to get involved in that.
Actually, I'm just going to unfollow this person
because every time I see you're saying something hateful,
slow but sure that's getting out that toxicity,
it allows the best form of you to continue to go forward.
But, yeah, I mean, you have to,
you got to protect your peace.
You've got to surround yourself with positive people
that are better than you
that want to try to drag you up that hill
and thank God for people like that.
Because, man, I mean,
if you haven't been there,
if you have not been that only guy
on the island alone,
just, because, I often say it,
I was the first guy in the SEAL teams
to suffer with depression, anxiety,
and suicide ideation
because I'd never heard of it before, right?
So I'm in my living room,
just my wife's not there
and we talk about dogs.
One of the number one reasons I never did it
was when I would get to the point
where I had made it my mind,
that dog would walk in that room and drop his head on my lap and look at me.
It's like, oh.
Not today.
I'd get up and I'd go on a walk with the dog.
Is your Japanese Mastiff?
Yeah.
Amazing breed, folks, I just learned about it today.
I absolutely want one of these.
What is the proper name?
Tosa Inu.
They are beautiful beasts.
They're amazing.
Yeah, so my wife's first husband, Danny, they had a Japanese Mastiff and an old English bulldog.
So when he passed, I met Patsy three years later,
those of the dogs I inherited, and you couldn't pick a better dog grid.
It was the most beautiful dog I've ever seen in my, look like a bengled tiger.
200 pounds, but a gentle giant, but one of those things, when you walk in the house and that thing sees you, your heart just goes to 180.
You're like, I'm so happy to be home and see this dog right now.
It pulls you out of a depression.
I mean, therapy dogs are a real thing, and, you know, shout out to the Red Cross.
I didn't know what the Red Cross did in, you know, 20-20, like, what do you do?
they bring in dogs in a hospital bed is what they do for sure they did it for me and there's nothing like laying in a hospital bed you've been throwing up for a week and you're just you don't have your cell phone you can't call your wife and they bring in some giant st bernard that jumps into bed with you and it is heaven on earth it is it is like that little bit gets you through the hump what do you bring me tomorrow we get some cocker spaniels like bring him in here but i don't care what it is now it's like i just need i need a dog i need something it makes me feel better and yeah
Dogs are amazing.
They are.
An old English bulldog, just like Costello.
I mean, those are my people, my creatures.
I just might get a Japanese Mastiff.
I'd like to talk about your standards.
I've heard you say, worst situation is being a big fish in a small pond.
Not many people say that.
Let's talk about standards.
First, starting with physical standards.
And let's actually get back to the program just briefly.
you mentioned the five-day-a-week program a while ago I saw you put out it's a fit test basically
that's designed to be done any time no preparation after you've done it's GBRS is your program
I'm going to sign up for this this is not a promotional I'm just going to do it I'm going to pay full
price I'm going to insist on paying full price like everyone else in doing this because I turn 50 in
about a week and I want to stay fit going forward and let me see if I got this right it involves a
broad jump, some pull-ups, some push-ups. Would you walk us through what the test is and what the
program actually provides? Because I know a lot of people listening are already exercising and
are attached to their program. Right. Guys are like, they want more lower biceet, rear delt
stuff. But this is different. This is about all around functional fitness at any age, men or
women. So what's the program? So we started that program. It's like a,
recovery from injury, right?
I'm just trying to maintain a high standard.
I've had a high standard physically since I was 17, right?
I've gotten better.
I've had really, really high points and low points,
coming back from injury,
but I wanted something to be able to maintain a high standard.
And when we got out, you start working with SWAT teams,
SEAL teams, every team in between, firemen, and everybody else.
And it's such a physical component that cannot be ignored.
But so many people in the 80s, 90s, even early 2000s,
Like, good is good enough.
Like, have you ever seen a show, rescue me?
Dennis Leary and a bunch of guys, a bunch of firemen in New York, and they had the fat
firemen, big handlebar mustache, you had the young guys, and you see all this stuff.
And now, if you look at the majority of firemen, they look like professional.
They look like Crossfitters.
Like, they're in shape because they understand we've got so much data on human potential
on how to get their nutrition, sleep, recovery, training protocols.
And they realize that you are your.
first lifeline. Your physical vessel is the thing you can get in the airport through TSA. I can get
in the White House. I don't need to bring any tools with me. This is a really, really good tool,
and it's always with me if I keep it at a high level. So we're going through here, and, you know,
the majority of the military screen test and SWAT teams, it's all body weight. Push-ups, pull-ups,
running, seal teams, and special operations swim test. And that's about it. You'll do O courses
and some other stuff, but the majority of it, that's just what it is. Well, it's not reality.
You don't walk around, there's no way in, you don't walk in in a pair of board shorts and way in, you're wearing body armor, helmets, you know, Pano, nightevision.
It's a lot of heavy stuff you have to carry, so you're always under an extreme load.
But the physical standard was so high as a tier one level.
I mean, the entire force is, but you have to maintain such a high level because everybody else is around you.
So when I'm looking at all these guys, SWAT team guys, I'm like, if you had a physical standard,
Every SWAT team in the country held, if the lowest dude on team could pass this test, the top guys are at the super elite level, you're so well-rounded. You can solve anything physically. And that's one of the big things in the military. You never want to have to say no. Can you 25 guys get up over this mountain and assault at target by 0.4 in the morning? If it can be done physically, we can do it, no matter what. We'll find a way. Move heaven and earth. We'll get it done. It's really, really hard to make a good decision on the backside when you are.
so physically taxed, because no decision you're ever going to make is without being under extreme
duress. If we elevate the physical standard, we can make better mental. I mean, we can't. We can make
better decisions through mental clarity when we're not just sucking wind. Also true, very much so
in civilian life, right? Everywhere. Like E&Ts, I mean, business, entrepreneurship, school teachers,
school teachers, everybody, right? If you're not physically labored, you can make better decisions.
So that's the whole goal. I don't care if you're a 45-year-old fireman that has an extra
35 pounds of weight on you, or if you're a 19-year-old kid who's in their prime, if you have to
run up 10 flights of stairs carrying that hose, when you get to the top, execute a good decision.
The guy whose heart rate isn't in 180 is going to make a better decision.
They just are.
And we all know it.
So let's set a standard that, you know, I don't care if it's Wednesday, if it's 2 o'clock
in the morning on a Saturday.
If you spring out of bed and take this test, you should be able to pass it no matter what.
Now, what level are we trying to adhere?
As high as humanly possible, if I hit the elite standard right now, and, you'll be able to, and
In three weeks, I should hit the elite again.
If I start to taper off, why?
Lack of sleep, poor nutrition, you know, just really crazy opt tempo.
I'm in the red the whole time.
Okay, maybe I needed a couple days off, get back on my training plan to maintain that high level.
But we do a broad jump.
So power output on the floor in a dynamic fashion, landing, procreception.
So just have people stand on a line, jump as far forward as they possibly can.
And the lowest standard is your high.
Your height. Is that right? So if I'm six foot tall, I should be able to broad jump past six foot.
What's the next level up from that? One foot. One foot past your height?
Yep. So seven feet would be, you know, middle of the road. If I can jump eight feet, that's really the standard. Like, for me, I'm trying to get to a 10 foot broad jump. Like, I want to hit 10 feet and I want to hold that as long as humanly possible.
And you can swing your arms. No running start, but you're just swinging your arms forward, jump. Swing your arms, jump, feet low to the ground, dynamic fashion. And I always tell the guys,
In reality, you are not going to have time to negotiate the obstacle.
You are not going to be able to run up to that ditch and stop and look at it and go,
okay, I need to get, I need to back it up a little bit.
You're going to have to go.
As a cop chasing this kid down in the city park,
you're going to have to scale that eight-foot fence right now,
not look for a step stool, not, oh, what can I climb on to get over this?
You're going to have to hit that thing at full value and go up and over it.
You should have the physical ability to do that.
So we have a broad jump.
And a lot of people, Vernon has a really good thing about monkey bars.
Like, everybody was swinging on monkey bars when you're a kid in a certain point in adulthood, you stop doing it.
But you'll look at your kid, nine years old, swinging a monkey bar.
She's like, oh, you're doing it wrong.
Do it this way.
I'll jump up there and show them.
If you haven't been on monkey bars in 40 years, expect to be humbled really, really fast.
It's like, lose it or lose it.
It's going to happen.
So we're always trying to test ourselves, like what is going to make me a dynamic participant?
spent throughout the whole process.
Broad jumps are really good expression.
We have that.
In the SEAL teams, we had a legacy test.
It was a body weight bench press.
NFL, it's 225 bench press.
It's not fair for me to give 225 to a kid that weighs 160 pounds.
Or 140-pound woman or 50-pound woman, yeah.
Your body weight, though, and we go minimum standard, 10 repetitions.
10 repetitions single set with your body weight.
That's minimum standard.
15, next level up, 20 plus is a leap.
If you can benchpress your body weight 20 times, you are in,
top tier. This is full range of movement. Bar touches your chest, you pressure not all the way
to a straight arm. All the way. 20 reps on that. Pull-ups with no weight. And we do that because so many
guys have so many injuries, so many shoulder injuries. And if your technique isn't there and you're
dropping out of the hole, I don't want you to dislocate and jam up a shoulder. So pull-ups are in
there. We have a farmer's carry. How many pull-ups? Sorry. The 10, 15 and 20 plus. So 10 with your body
weight, 15 is the next level up and then 20-plus is elite. Okay. And, and,
in a perfect word we do it with weight
and the seal teams we add weight to it
but for everybody if you can do 20 straight
dead hang pull-ups you're at the top physical game
there's lesson no kip chin
clears the bar chin clears the bar
we do a farmer's carry
so with your body weight so if you weigh 200 pounds
you have a hundred pound dumbbell in each hand
you get up and you walk it as far as you can
I'd have to look at the exact feet measurement
but I think the elite is almost 300 feet
275 and 250 somewhere around there
And it's not an easy thing to do, but we work so much grip for the pull-ups and everything else.
Like, grip matters.
We say that a lot.
It's very hard to climb up a caving ladder on the side of a cruise ship when it's underway.
Your grip's the only thing that's going to get you there.
So we really put a lot of focus on gripping, firemen needed, cops needed it.
If I'm trying to manipulate a full-grown man through time and space against their will, your grip is a key factor, man.
You ask anybody who grapples, when somebody who grapples and you know how to use it grabs a hold of you,
you instantly know you're in a world of hurt.
You grab some NCAA wrestling.
He grabs a hold of you.
The first thing you feels is his hands.
Oh, no.
I'm just grabbed a hold of a grizzly bear right now.
This is not going to be good.
We need everybody to have that same strength.
Also, someone's got to open the pickle jar.
Exactly.
Got to be able to open a pickle jar.
But when you pick up that weight,
everything's into your cores in there,
your posture really matters, upright.
I've got to be able to control my breathing,
ocular focus, where am I looking,
and then how long can I hold on to this?
I've got to keep a rigid frame.
I can't lean over and let it take him.
control of me. I can't lean back. I've got to be present throughout the entire movement and then
just push. So we've got that. We've got a trap bar deadlift. We use the trap bar because the
majority of guys in that career, they've already got some injuries stacked up. And we actually put
45 pound bumper plates to pull from a little bit of an elevation because I've got a really
long torso. And the big thing we push in that program is we want you to be able to train 52 weeks
out of the year. There is no offseason for a fireman. There's no offseason for a SWAT team guy.
There's no offseason for an Army Ranger, and if you get jammed up in the gym, and I've done it really bad, the mission doesn't care.
You have to go anyway, and now you're not at 100%.
And the entire patrol lane, you're thinking about your lower back and if you're going to be able to be able to perform on target.
We can't have that.
We're trying to increase your confidence, never decrease it.
So that's why you pull from that.
That is one and a half times your body weight is a minimum standard.
For how many repetitions?
Five.
One and a half times your body weight.
Okay.
And then two times your body weight.
I think it's two and a half times your body weight is the elite for a set of five.
You know, you can obviously do more.
I think I did a set of 12 in that video, but it's just, can I pick up double body weight under control
without slamming on the ground proper form in control the entire time?
So we add in all those.
So the broad jump, the farmers carry, the body weight bench, the pull-ups, the trap bar deadlift,
and we have an 800-meter run.
We also have a plank for time.
So a minute and a half, two minutes.
No, it's two minutes, two and a half minutes, and three minutes.
Just in the forearms, you know, planking.
However you want to hold it.
And we were going to do sit-ups originally, but sit-ups is such a hip flexor dominant position
because I have that long torso.
If I don't anchor my feet, 50 sit-ups is really, really hard for me.
And how do you gauge it?
Are your hands interlocked behind your back?
There's a whole bunch of ways to cheat it.
It's very hard to cheat a plank, but your core is so important.
And that's something that Vernon got me doing.
I had a lot of lower back injuries.
As we all do, I started walking around with my core at, like,
40 to 50% flexed all day every day.
My lower back issues went away instantly.
So I walk around with a little bit of tension all day long.
Just imagine walking around to pull your shirt off.
A little bit of tension in your abs and it protects my lower back.
So we always say be an active participant throughout the entire movement.
I'm never going to let my core go to jello because in my lower back will spasm.
Everything is locked in, everything is in control.
My intensity's there.
My focus is there and I blocked out all the stray voltage.
So we get through that and then we do an 800 meter run.
I wanted to do 400 meter repeats, do a 400 stop, as long as it took you to run, execute another one in the same amount of time.
Well, the SWAT team, they have an 800 meter run.
We're like, well, since you already do it, I don't need a guy that can run a marathon.
I need a guy that can throw a 200-pound guy over his shoulders, run him up 10 flights of stairs, and make a good decision.
So being a marathon runner, while it might be great for you, it doesn't really give me everything I need.
I really need that hybrid athlete and that 800 meter.
I didn't realize.
And then I talked to everybody who's a distance runner, the 800 is brutal.
It's too fast to fully sprint and you can't slow down because that time metric, I think, is 315, 3 minutes and 245 to be the elite.
So I think I'm in like the 240 range right now, but I haven't ran it since I snapped my hip.
Other than sprints, I don't dissent run because it hurts my hip too bad.
But I'm able to get through it.
I've got a laundry list of injuries.
and we did that entire test cold war.
We basically wrote it down,
and the whole thing
when I sit down with Vernon,
I was like,
I need something to drive to.
I do better when there's a target goal
on the wall,
like two years ago
was a 400-pound bench press.
I have never been able
to bench-pressed 400 pounds.
I've missed it every time.
My shoulders were all blown out,
and I was like,
with all the injuries,
I want to press 400 pounds
one time before I hang it up forever.
Retrain the entire year,
hit 407,
re-racked it.
Now what?
I need to hold a high standard.
What is it? Well, if I was on a SEAL team or a SWAT team and every dude could pass that test, we have a physical dynasty because not everyone can. But it gives you something you look at me and it's like, I've got a laundry list of injuries, dude. I'm on the wrong side of 40 right now. I've never taken my foot off the gas. And neither should you. You're 22 years old. You should be running circles around me. And if you're not, just because you don't care enough. Like no one has slapped you. That's the whole concept of be a pro. Everything I'm doing is putting me in position to be a
the best version of myself because the team deserves it. Everything I do, everything I say,
everything I represent should be putting the group in a better position. And for us, because it's
such a dangerous job, your physical readiness, it can't be ignored. That is the one thing that
everyone should be able to count on. And they should look at you. Well, I know John cares. Look at
him. Like, he didn't wake up like that. That dude is in the gym five days a week because he wants
to be the best fireman he can possibly be. And that's where we push out. And the standard has been
great. A lot of guys get super humbled by them and you know some guys lie because I see their
numbers like, there's no way you did that. But it keeps them honest. Yeah, and it's tough. I mean,
I looked at those numbers. I mean, I think most people who've been training regularly will find
that maybe two or three of the things come naturally to them and others are difficult because
everyone's got different. Like I have a really short torso, long arm, so certain things are easier,
certain things are harder. Like, I think that's what I really like about it. It's spread out across the
table so that no one person can dominate just by virtue of some, you know, previous sport
history or natural proclivity based on body shape or something. How often are you having people
self-test on this? We tell the guys whenever they're ready. We did a 12-week block on it. I've been
traveling a lot, so haven't really been able to retest. We're coming up on it maybe the next two weeks
or so. I'm going to retest just to see where it's at. But that was the interesting thing is I call
back to the command with our strength conditioning coaches, and I pulled out all my scores from a test that's
very, very similar. Bodyweight bench, max pull-ups, did the whole thing. My numbers now, 15 years later,
some are better than they were when I was in my 20s. Awesome. And it's like, I'm not training for that.
This is just the program. It keeps me at a super high level. And we had a doctor from Duke University
come down and do some CQB testing on me. And we had to test V02 Max. I haven't trained for VO2 Max in 20 years.
and my VO2 Max is still on top
0-001% of the earth.
All elite athletes,
I don't train VO2 Max.
And my breathing is so inefficient
and that's what he laughed about.
You're ultrasounding, my diaphragm,
and he's like, your breathing's terrible.
But it translates to where your V-O-2 Max is awesome.
He's like, you can live forever.
That's how we determine how long
you're going to live for as V-O-2 Max
and your V-O-2 Max is through the roof.
I don't train it.
If you just do the program,
maintain it consistently,
it'll give you such a well-rounded approach to everything.
And that's the big thing is I don't want to have to say no.
Hey, can you pick that up?
Yeah.
Can you jump over that?
Yeah.
Can you move that out of the way?
Yep.
Can you move him through time and space?
Yep.
Also, because you have kids and they, you know,
swimming, playing, running around.
And also setting a high standard within family.
You know, I think there are always two sides to the fitness, nutrition conversation.
One is, I'll just say it, you know,
I feel like the standards in the United States
have drifted so far in terms of what we consider healthy,
what we're willing to accept.
My dad, who is not, he's a first generation immigrant here.
I'll never forget in the, I think it was like in the mid-90s or something.
He said to me, he said, you know, today I was talking about himself.
He said, I went to the movies and I saw people in pajamas.
I was like, what do you mean?
He's like, people go to the movies now, like,
as if they just woke up in their slippers and pajamas.
And I said, yeah, and he said, this is the beginning of the end.
He said, because when that slips, then pretty soon it's like you're willing to tolerate things on the street, you know,
then people aren't weeding their lawns.
And then pretty soon, you know, it just breeds this general disinterest in taking care of things.
And then, you know, I can't link it directly to people going to the movies in their pajamas.
And everyone likes to be comfortable.
So I don't think he was saying everyone should avoid wearing sweatpants.
I think what he was saying is, you know, etiquette and self-care and self-respect is projected outward.
So that's one side of it, right?
We have a 35% of the United States is obese, not just overweight, but obese.
On the other side is the opportunity, right?
So it's always good to think about the opportunity.
And the program that you're offering clearly is great for first responders and people with high-intensity, high-demand work.
But the reason I'm interested in it is because I want to be fit.
for the next 50 years.
And so I'm going to try it because I want to train to be able to do these things when I'm
70 or 80 or 90.
I figure if I get out that far, it's kind of like, how could I possibly do it then?
Well, by doing it every day until then, right?
That's how you know, it's obvious.
The solution is obvious.
So is this a program that women, men, anyone could do?
And the training doesn't just center around these movements.
No, no, no.
It centers around the five-day-a-week program.
And my understanding is there's two,
in there like you get some you get some support because I think this is really what's missing from
most online programs because anyone can go to youtube or look online go you know what's the we even
have a foundational fitness protocol is what I've been you know doing for the last 30 something years and
I'm all you know starting to modify that now based on GBRS and this fit test but it's a whole other
thing to have support and have people working with you because this is about not being the only
fish in the pond one of the things that program does better than anything else I've ever seen
is there's probably 800 to 1,000 movement tutorials.
They're either guided by me with Vernon doing all the coaching cues, big toe down, feel this,
roll this hip over, you'll feel this.
He navigates it so well verbally.
And physically, you can watch him.
He'll manipulate me, demonstrating exactly what you'll feel and touch.
Then the message board on the backside.
So when you finish the workout, everybody else who's done that workout, all, you know, thousands of people,
they comment on how they're feeling.
And he'll read that.
And he's like, hey, guys, looks like everybody's getting a little fatigued after the last couple of weeks after this, you know, this power block we just did.
Hey, we're going to taper off the next five days.
We're going to regroup.
And following Monday, we're going to push.
And this is what we're going to do.
So he'll sprinkle in more running.
You know, when summertime comes around, we'll start to add in a little bit more.
But we add on 20-minute walks every day.
So everybody gets them right after you leave.
I still a bunch of stuff from you.
I'm like, shick in the sunglasses.
Let's get some vitamin D straight in my eyes.
First thing in the morning, set circadian rhythm.
I do the same thing at night.
It's like, they've all been saying the same thing, man.
Like, if you just make it part of your routine, and Schwarzenegger says it, too.
Like, hey, do you work out yesterday?
Uh-huh.
I'm going to work out tomorrow, and the next day, I brush my teeth twice a day, too.
I'm going to continue doing it.
It's part of my routine, and I'm not going to miss it.
I've been doing this in a heaven miss session for six years, and I am not going to miss one tomorrow.
Why would I?
You're seeing what it's doing for me.
I mean, I've got a laundry list of injuries, and I'm still to perform at a super high level
because I'm not taking my foot off the gas, and there's nothing magical.
about me. I'm on the most normal dude you'll ever meet. But I mean, we have 65, 7 year olds on
that program. And if you can't do one, if you have a limitation, so do we. You can do a drop-down
menu, and there'll be 40 different exercises to pick from. So if I go to a hotel gym, I don't have
it. The very first thing I do, I walk down, I scan the whole thing, I send him to Vernon. He's like,
ooh, only dumbbells to 50, huh? I was like, yeah. And he'll send me a workout. Or I'll just drop
down the menu, like, okay, well, because today's my leg day, I'm at,
actually do Friday's workout and I'll shift Thursday because I'll be home my home gym.
I'll do Thursday's workout on Friday.
So it's flexible.
Oh, it's flexible.
Yeah, it's so important.
I mean, I think really, I mean, standards are what we all need for ourselves and standards are
what honestly I think this country needs.
And it's tricky because within this new administration, you know, the whole notion of
Maha quickly got kind of stained by the politicizing of.
of like the motives and all that.
Like in the end, people need to eat better, train better,
and there are real medical issues out there
people are contending with.
But just imagine if people actually start
to take their physical body seriously.
This is something I really want to,
I'm going to say it again later,
but I want to say it now very clearly.
One thing that I think is so absolutely clear
from everything you've said about your backstory,
where you're at now,
the ibegain work your care for first responders your care for your teammates your family is that
you take yourself seriously yeah so for you it's a yeah i think most people take their feelings
seriously they take their responses to what's going on in their life seriously you know that
at the center of our consciousness a previous guest said you know is our ego that the us the me that
we're all like that to some extent.
But taking oneself seriously as a form of self-respect
and building up one's ability to support others
and to do important things for other people in our life,
our family and for the world, is so key.
And I feel like taking oneself seriously is the cornerstone
of everything I've heard you say today
and everything you're doing.
That it's not taking a feeling in a moment seriously.
In fact, sometimes it's about doing that.
And sometimes it's about going, no, I'm going to push that side.
Now I'm going to brush my teeth.
I'm going to lean into that I'm going to not do what I prefer to do in the moment so that I can really show up.
But that we need to take ourselves seriously.
You do.
You have to.
And I have this big thing I do.
I have to do a lot of motivational speaking lately and a lot of that.
And I tell this story about a kid that grows up to want to be a fireman and how he got inspired by a fireman.
Because that guy was a physical representation of what that kid.
kid thought a fireman would be, looked apart, act apart. He's heroicous. He might as well put a
red cape on this kid and sent him through the door. I mean, that's what it is, but that's you
representing everything you think a fireman should be, not just what you say, what you wear, how you
speak, do everything. So for me, anybody who I meet, I'm giving you both barrels right now because
I am trying to live the actual life that I think I should be living that translates all the positive
of stuff I'm trying to put out. If you saw me and I was 50 pounds overweight at a bar drinking
my 12th beer, talking about mental health, you wouldn't take me serious. Talking about how you
were a Navy SEAL back when. That does nothing for them. Yeah. It's like, that's not how
I identify. Yeah, I did that job and yeah, you think that gives me credibility. I don't care
about that a bit. That doesn't give me credibility. The way I live my life now, my daily routine
gives me the credibility. Because no matter who you are, you can adopt that same lifestyle.
That same routine, you can grab it as a housewife. You can wake up early. You can wake up early.
and go out and do a 20-minute walk every single morning before your kids wake up,
you're just refusing to do it.
I don't know why, but I promise you, if every single person ever watches this,
you wake up and do a 20-minute walk in a morning and one after dinner,
and you do it for seven days.
On the eight day, the world doesn't fall apart.
It only gets better the more you do it.
It just will.
People just don't want to put it into work.
They want this quick fix.
They want Ozzympic.
They want this.
Or they're saying, and I hear this, and it's trickier for me because I'm late to the game on kids
and family, but mark my words.
But in your case, you've already had kids.
You got a wife, you have a functioning family
and a very busy demanding career
and a previous career that carries with incredible experiences,
but also challenges that you're resolving now
and you've resolved and you have a mission in the world.
And so a lot of times I'll hear people say,
well, that's easy for you to say
because you don't have kids.
And I'm kind of muted at that moment.
And I want to respond and say, listen, when I was a graduate student, I worked 100 hours a week.
But I was in my 20s and I didn't have kids.
So I have very little ammunition there.
In your case, however, you have kids.
And you're getting up and you're doing two 20-minute walks.
And you're including your family in these practices too.
You said your evening walks with your wife are a crucial part of your connection.
if anyone is struggling with building that bridge especially guys transition out of the military or career you watch it with tom brady and everybody else when they leave the thing they were put on this earth to do there is a fall from grace it can't be ignored and most of the time that splits with the wife right like the person you are now she's not used to being home and now you don't have anything if you are struggling to rebuild that connection with your wife with your partner that 20 minute walk has saved my marriage i have given it to thousands of people that right there if i could give it
everybody a gift, the power of that 20-minute walk. It's changed my whole life, man. That is the one
constant thing I don't compromise on. I mean, even to the point where, as dumb as it may be, when I'm
walking through the Atlanta airport, I don't get on the little conveyor belt. I'm not doing that.
I'll walk from Terminal E all the way to Terminal A because it's a 20-minute power push.
I do it, and I film it on social media. I'm getting my steps in no matter what. I'm not on my
phone. I'm showing you, you can find the time. Instead of sitting there at Starbucks or 45 minutes
wait on my flight, I'll just walk back.
and forth. I just got a 40-minute walk-in straight. I'm good. So when I get back home,
it's 2.30 in the morning, I don't feel guilty. I haven't done anything physical today.
I wake up in the morning, 5 a.m., and I gear it up, and I spin it again. You can find the time.
Rarely, you have to make the time. If you're waiting for just to pop up and, like,
oh, here's a free 20-minute block. You're not going to have it. And people just, that's the thing I
can't get past, like, oh, you know, I can't wake up that early. You have a thousand-dollar smartphone
that does anything.
There's not a question you can ask it.
It doesn't have the answer to.
And there's a clock on it.
If you set it, it'll go off.
When it goes off, get out of bed.
Like, I've been doing it in my whole life.
I don't understand it.
They just don't want to.
They've never felt the power
of being in control of the small things.
Why stacking up the microwinds?
Lay out your clothes the night before.
I mean, how many people wake up,
you know, 20 minutes for this supposed to leave the door
and they're just frantic.
Like, where's my black shirt?
What's my black shirt?
Who were my car keys?
That's a terrible way to start today.
but you're the one who's doing that.
If you just spend 10 minutes a night before,
take your shower, lay out the clothes,
put them in the logical order,
you're about to get them dressed in the next morning, and go.
You'd be surprised how fast you're actually making a cup of coffee.
Man, I did my entire morning routine and less than five minutes.
What do I do is my next 40, whatever you want.
Do 10 minutes of meditation.
Sit there in a dark room and just tell yourself 10 things you're truly grateful for.
I'm so glad I have my wife.
I'm so glad I have two healthy kids
I'm so glad I have a company
I'm so glad I have two arms and two legs
I'm so glad I'm still alive
cool what are you going to do
I'm going to make the most out of it
go to work and do that
people just don't want to make the time
because they've never seen the example
so a lot of stuff we try to put out
is I'm trying to be a physical representation
of what I'm trying to mass produce
physically strong
mentally resilient capable
patriotic Americans
that's what I'm trying to do
I just want you to have accountability
I've accounted for all my failures, all my successes, and everything else in between,
and I'll show them exactly what happens when you do it wrong.
I think that's what a lot of people like the most about it is I will tell you all my deepest, darkest secrets,
because you're going to learn a lot more from those than you are about climbing Everest.
Everybody wants to see the picture at the top of the mountain.
They don't want to hear about how many sherpas you lost on the way to the top.
They don't want to hear about that.
I do.
I want to hear about the real struggle, like how hard is it to be you?
Talk me through it.
I can learn so much from the hardships of people.
Just unfortunately, we're in a place now
where not too many people are willing to share it.
Yeah, just trying to help out as many people as possible
before I hang this whole thing up and retire.
Man, well, you are absolutely helping a ton of people,
and today's discussion is just going to amplify that.
I have to say, I'm immensely grateful for you.
I felt a kinship with you from the very first time
I saw you on Sean's podcast.
Because you mentioned the skateboarding thing,
and I think I heard the words that you prefer,
dogs to people sometimes. I think you've embraced people as well. And your love of dogs,
that was the hook. And then we have some common friends in the team's community and that I respect
very much, some of whom have been guests, others who are still behind the veil. But your message
is so important. You have very high standards for yourself and you meet those standards and you're
constantly trying to meet and exceed those standards. And it's also,
very clear that you've learned, this is this unconscious genius part about maybe it's teams,
maybe it's just some people in it, but it's clearly very alive in you. You learn to use physical
decisions, real world, actionable, implementable decisions to create internal change so that you can
engage with the world in more functional and more meaningful ways. It's like the waking up
early thing. I confess I've been a little weak on the waking up early thing,
prioritizing sleep and this kind of thing. There's also a strong antidepressant effect of waking
up early that I've noticed and that exists in the literature. So I'm going to get back to that.
I'm definitely going to do the GBRS program. I'm hoping other people will as well.
Again, it's not a promotional for that. I think how amazing would it be if as a country
people started to really take their physical body seriously,
not expect some, you know, package to arrive on their doorstep
if they were to take that pill or that thing
and suddenly they were going to be healthy
and instead to really just lean into these 20-minute walks, sunlight,
the GBRS program,
it's like an awesome way to get all-around fitness
and to maintain that for a lifetime.
I just want to thank you for everything you're doing.
You've definitely opened up on an emotional level to the world today
and elsewhere.
you've opened up your protocols.
You've made it very clear that you're human, that you're not perfect,
and that despite all that, you're still going to keep striving, striving, striving.
It's a magnificent example at every level, so I'm really, really grateful.
I got some I want to give you.
For me?
Slide you those.
Okay.
So I'm going to tell you the backstory real quick.
So we started doing in-house embroidery, and we started doing in-house embroidery, and we
wanted to do an American flag hat, but we sat down with Tyra Milliken, he runs all our stuff,
and we got an apprentice Sophia that does all our embroidery in-house, six-head
an embroidery machine, and we wanted to do an American flag hat. And I got so, I'm going to try
not to get upset. I get so sick of people ordering American flag patches off Amazon from China
and border stitching them on hats and letting that be a patriotic symbol. Is that how it's typically
done? Yeah. I mean, you can go to Amazon. I can buy 500 of those. And those are made in China.
Yeah. And I can border stitch them on there. I can hot glue them on there. We've got this embroidered machine and Tyler's a wizard with just embroidery files and everything else. And we were like, let's make the American flag hat. It's not going to be a border stitch. It's not going to be a patch we sew on this thing. Like, what's it going to be? And he looked right at me and he goes, I can make you the hat. But we are never going to make money on it. And I was like, I ain't about making money. And he's like, well, I can't mass produce him either. It's like, the hat and the story I'm going to tell is not meant for mass production. So when you launch those hats,
That hat is almost 24,000 individual stitches.
It takes 60 minutes just to make the flag.
The quality control that goes inside that,
if a single thread is pulled, rolled, anything,
we cancel it, we toss it.
But that hat, and I see it.
It's actually stitched into the bag.
I see what you're saying.
It's not a patch stitch onto a hat.
It is the hat.
It is.
Yeah, got it.
You know, when we first dropped those things,
I told everybody, I was like,
this hat is for the people that get emotional
when they hear the National Anthem.
This hat is for the people whose children
say the Pledge of Allegiance
with hand over heart.
They go to the baseball games.
They have a visceral response
when they hear the National Anthem played.
They're not kneeling a football games.
They're not playing all the left side
and right side.
They are patriotic Americans.
And I told them,
if you are going to wear this hat
and let anything poisonous
come out of your mouth while you're wearing that hat,
I will fly there and I'll snatch it off your head.
Everything you're going to do needs to represent
what you think the essence of America
is everything that flows out of your mouth while you're wearing that hat better be done with dignity
and respect because a lot of brave men and women have sacrificed everything just for that little piece
of cloth so we don't mass produce and we drop them a couple times a year we'll do it like a be a pro drop
a couple different times and they fly like wildfire and it's so cool to see because the people that know
they know like we have done so much for that flag and I hate seeing it being misrepresented
in any way shape or form you do it.
it such in a beautiful light. I would love for you to have those. So those came from the boys at
GBRS. And I know that when you wear them, you'll preach the gospel and you represent the American
people in a beautiful way. But if you don't, I will fly out here and I'll snatch them off your
head like I will anybody else. But I believe you. But those things, those represent, we've got a
bunch of patriots and a bunch of veterans that work inside with us. So every time we do that drop,
the entire company, we're 40-something people strong now. And when that hat comes out, everybody
can feel it. Like beating the war drum on just being a good patriot. I know I isolate it for just
Americans, but the overall message is I want everyone to be a patriot. Everyone in the UK, Australia,
New Zealand, Canada, France, if you have ownership and you are patriotic where you come from,
you represent it so much better than anyone else. If I've never met a person from Australia and I go there
and I meet one person, it's a positive experience, for the rest of my days, I'll talk about that
experience. So when I wear that hat, I try to represent what I want the American people to be
like. So when somebody meets me from Zimbabwe, and I'm wearing that hat, that interaction is going
to be the best I can possibly be because of the weight of that thing sitting on my head.
You know, when I came out here, you know, I was telling the boys, like, I got to bring Andrew
a hat and they spun them up real quick. We don't drop those things until November, but I wanted
you to have the first one. So thank you for everything and thanks for having me on, man.
Oh, and thank you. I'm honored. I will wear it.
and I will meet and I will strive to exceed the standard that you describe.
And I fully believe that if I don't, you'll come out here and kick my ass.
That's part of the deal.
We can also provide a link to where you guys make these.
And, yeah, again, I just really want to thank you.
It's clear that quality and standards is in your DNA.
And more importantly, it's in everything you do, right down to the hats.
So thank you so much, DJ.
come back again. I will. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for joining me for today's
discussion with DJ Shipley. To find links to his website, as well as the links to the fitness program
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For those of you that haven't heard, I have a new book coming out.
It's my very first book.
It's entitled Protocols and Operating Manual for the Human Body.
This is a book that I've been working on for more than five years and that's based on more
than 30 years of research and experience.
And it covers protocols for everything from sleep
to exercise, to stress control protocols related
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And of course, I provide the scientific substantiation
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The book is now available by presale at protocolsbook.com.
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Thank you once again for joining me for today's discussion with DJ.
Jay Shipley. And last but certainly not least, thank you for your interest in science.