I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 12 - Jim Just Sh*t His Pants on Stage

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

At this moment Jim and Amos are in Los Angeles recapping recent gigs, one stood out where Jim crapped his pants on stage. They also talk about Joe Biden's recent diagnosis, how often you should wash your sheets, and if they could date an OnlyFans model. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: https://www.jimjefferies.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies FB: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/ Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys 

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to another episode of the ATM podcast with Mejum Jefferies. I'm here with Amos Gill. Let's get, hey, hey, Gillie, let's get our press out of the way. What shows you got coming up? Hey, come see me in Toronto this Friday, Saturday at the Comedy Bar. Love Toronto, one of my favorite cities in the world. Only a few tickets left. Excited about that. Coming back after your big tour. I picked up your stragglers. So I'll see you guys there. And where are you going to be, Jim?

I'm going to be this Friday night. Is it this Friday or Saturday, Jake? Saturday or Friday? Friday? Saturday. This Saturday night, I'm going to be in Dubai, in the Coca-Cola arena. So that's something. Donald Trump goes over to the Middle East and he starts taking that oil dollar

and Jeffreys is straight over there. I'm over there. I'll be there. Thank you everyone. These buildings were built with good laborers. They got paid appropriately. Now I'm going over to Dubai. I'm looking forward to the show. I had a really good time at the Dubai Comedy Festival a couple of years back or a year and a half ago or something. It was a really great show. They've put me into a massive room so there are still tickets available. Yeah, room for you and your bird. Yeah, yeah. It's massive. And by that I mean your falcon. Massive. We've got a couple of

thousand already coming but I mean there's still seats. Don't worry about this in the arena. And then when I'm coming back, I'm in St. Petersburg and what's the Orlando and those shows will sell out. They're very close to sold out. So if you wanna come and see me in Florida, come and see that. And then after that, who? June 1st, Kansas City.

June 1st, Kansas City. What's that for? Dr. Phil. Oh for Dr. Phil, yeah, but he has to sell those tickets. I'm not in charge of selling the- Dr. Phil there. I'll be doing for Dr. Phil. Yeah, but he has to sell those tickets. I'm not in charge of selling the- I'll be doing the Dr. Phil show with Adam Ray June 1st. But I hear that they sell out like hotcakes.

People love those shows, right? So I'll be doing those. Also, I've got Hawaii coming up. If you're in Hawaii, when, Jack? I'm going to- July 25th and July 26th. July 25th and July 25th. We're a slick production.

There we go. I'll be in Hawaii. Anyway, let's start the show. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about me coming to Tacoma? I thought all you had was a show in Toronto and then you were retiring. I'm actually quitting after Spokane and Tacoma, which is next weekend. Are you going to go back on the gondolas in Spokane? Once was enough. You can't do it by yourself can you? If you bring the

missus you'll go. Bit of romance. If you go on the gondola in Spokane they think you're jumping there's no doubt about that. You're not allowed legally to go on there. Come for the suicide stay for the view. I'm wearing a Tottenham jersey this week because we're playing Man United in the Europa League. Last week Jim wore a Bears jersey because his beloved Bears have made a comeback. The North City Bears are now the Perth Bears. And I saw a really funny story over the weekend that I thought I'd surprise you with this but you'd seen it. It has been sent to me many times. Yeah so let's have a role with this. So

the Bears have relocated to Western Australia. Yeah to Perth. Most isolated city in the world. Not just an isolated city but also having spent a lot of time there. Anyone who listened to the YMCA episode will notice I went to a lot of gay bars when I was there. So many gay clubs in Perth. Big gay community down in Northbridge there in Perth. Yeah you can see the was there. So many gay clubs in Perth. Big gay community down in Northbridge there in Perth. Yeah you can see the gays. So what's one of the subsections of gays? The bears. The bears. I actually fluctuate my weight. I become a bear and then I go back from being a bear. My friend Forrest, our friend Forrest, he's a bear. He's what a bear

would be. He's in hibernation at the minute. He would be your quintessential bear if he was gay. Yeah and listen there's a group over there for bears, because it's a very masculine place, a lot of fly-in fly-out workers, apparently that's the hub of gay bears in Australia because there's a lot of them. There's a lot of them that travel outside and work in the mine, they work with the miners. Yeah, they're big brutes. But that's working in the mine, not just working with the miners. I don't want to disparage anyone. So obviously, all these fans from Western Australia who don't know anything about,

sorry, all these fans of the original bears, like you from Sydney, don't know anything about WA bears. And so they've been Googling and Facebooking Perth bears. And some of them have been ending up in the wrong places. And that is the Perth Bear Gay Society and have a listen to this news report from Australia. This is a great mix-up I love this story the rugby league club going to WA is called the Perth Bears but there is a gay social club in WA called Bears Perth and they're saying hey we don't want any mix-ups we are not

associated with the newly announced Nl club called the Perth Bears please do not sign up for membership here if you're trying to join the rugby league club Kingsley Dawes is the president of Bears Perth uh hello Ben how you going mate i don't know mate i don't know whether you're joking or whether you're serious but i just love it it's been weird because we got like 15 or 20 membership applicants from out of state, which we hardly ever get stuff from our state, right? So we got all these memberships and then we had to call them up and say you do realize we are not the rugby club.

Our clubhouse is next door to HBF Park. So if you wanted to you could go and watch the Perth Bears and then you could drop into the Bears Perth on the way home. Yep and look we'd be happy to have visitors you know. Not all visitors. You've got another ad online for the Bears Big Pool Party. Imagine getting some of the Rugby League players to drop in for a dip. Well yes feel free to give any of them my phone number and we can sort that out. Isn't that nice at the end. Gay guys can always make jokes like that. I can sort them out, bring them over the pool, get them undressed. As a heterosexual you can ever go and there's a group of girls that are doing something. Give them a phone

number, get them naked, get them in the pool. Yeah the girls that have come over for the Taylor Swift concert and have gotten lost, we'll welcome them at the social club. Yeah I work with the Swift mop company and there's been a lot of confusion. Yeah, my products are called the Swifties. We're a courier company because we get you there Swift and all these young girls have turned up but we were actually having a staff barbecue. We said, girls get your shirts off, it's hot. Yeah, yeah and we're doing an event called pulling a Swifty So there you go mate the Perth Bears have Yeah, I've got to defend their own turf. I like that about the guys

They always have a good sense of humor about things like this, you know So I don't think that guy's offended in any way and in 15 memberships from out of state That's bad news for the Perth Bears. I thought they'd get hundreds I listen I did think this was I thought thought it was going to be thousands of people. We've had 15 to 20 membership applications. What if, I mean, what if it doesn't take... And that was just Jim Jeffries doing it 10 times because he didn't think it worked the first time. What if it doesn't take over the deal?

And then some guy called Jack Hackett sent about another five. **** at Gmail. Don't tell the public. That is it isn't it? I had to send Jack something yesterday sorry about that. Yeah it would be interesting if if it just doesn't work over there and they do rely heavily on making it a sort of a gay football franchise for the birds. I would love it if it was a gay franchise. If there was like the fan was just the fan base was just gay big men. If you know what it would essentially be, it'd be like the way that straight men used to watch the lingerie league. We gay men go and watch the rugby because that's what they're.

I always thought the gay guys like the AFL more than the rugby league because of the little shorts. The waricapa of us at all. You know what I mean? Like if you haven't watched AFL, the Australian sport of AFL, which is Amos's original sport, the outfits are a sleeveless top with very, very small shorts. Extremely short shorts. A smaller pair of shorts that you can allow. It's funny because when I grew up... Testicle hanging out shorts.

Yeah, you used to just wear jocks, like just regular underwear. Yeah. And only in my... about 2007, 2008 did they bring in skins. Yeah. Where like the tights. But before that, you would just just see football players cocks come out on a tackle really and it was just you'd be like I remember watching footy and they were like, oh Mark Rissuto's I get some come out the side there. I Something that was I remember game. I remember seeing like the mall gun the coaches come in and

The end of a half or something. They've all kneeled down I remember one of the professional players just pissing out the pan of his leg. Yeah, that used to happen. Just in the middle of the field. Just a little trickle down. Yeah, just like pissing out the side. Just I'll get this done now. I won't interrupt the coach in his conversation.

Well, I want to go from those bears to these bears. I've been searching the Internet a lot lately. Do you think those bears will support the bears? I think they'd be crazy if they didn't try and do a mix up on that. Because Australia does something that I've always found a little bit pathetic, bears will support the Bears? I think they'd be crazy if they didn't try and do a mix up on that. Because Australia does something that I've always found a little bit pathetic. A little bit pathetic. If you look behind an AFL goal, what have you got? You've got a cheer squad that holds pom-poms. Yeah cheer like regular punters will bring pom-poms and big like signs

and they do it on the hill at rugby league as well right so there'd be people that hold up signs that say black and red and black attack and go with the flow with Floremo and stuff like that and then they write a special message on crepe paper and the boys run through it yeah they go and it's always a song that's a jaunty song that sounds like it's from old England And they are G long team from the G long Go boys It is extremely free fandom is very gay in a star and it's a whole lot of tissue paper that's stuck together It's like a four sheets of paper that are all stuck together

And then they'll say yeah, it's such and such as 100th game for the club come on out Macca and then he'll jump through come on boys kickers go and they'll always be there's a lot of how do I put this politely there's a lot of simple-minded folk behind the goal they go to every game we got it with very large flanks they wear the badges of every player yeah every player and then they'll have a sign that says something. I'm looking forward to the Perth's Bears having one bloke who's a simple-minded gay fella that's just holding up a sign going Bears for Bears. To be honest even the Bear blokes might end up going to that and it's too

twink for them. Bear for Bears! I'm a bear! Bears for Bears! Yeah, they're into more leather stuff. Because I remember being a kid and sitting behind those people. Don't put up your gigantic fucking, this isn't a little flag. This is the type of like a big, we're talking 15 meters by 10 meters and there'd be four people hold it up. One of the first jokes I ever did in stand-up, if I remember correctly, was the bit was that I was my school's first ever football captain and theatre captain duo and the joke used to be that's why I wanted to win games more than anyone because if you win you get to sing a song at the

end. Yeah. And I'd go, it's a grand old flag, it's a high flying flag. Women called you a double unthreatening. If you sing with a little too much gusto it is off-putting. What do you think I'd do? My whole childhood mate. Okay before we get to it. Boys put some fucking effort in you flat. Before we get to it I'm about to go to a funeral. I just want to give a shout out quickly to my mother-in-law who's giving a hard time, Becca. I love you to bits. Sadly, my father-in-law, Derek, had passed away suddenly and my wife's going through

all that. And I just want to, on the record, just say to Becca and the Danraj family, my heart's there for you and I'm looking forward to seeing you and Derek's going to be missed. Yes, Derek was a great fellow. I only spent one Christmas with him. Nice fellow, good sense, his favorite comedian was Fluffy and that was just a recent thing, right, just a recent thing and what happened was he went to Mexico and then some you know some Mexican, he used to holiday by himself just travel around the world just go off to different countries. He liked to see places, right?

And so in his mid-60s, off he goes to Mexico, wanders around by himself just eating food and just drinking and stuff, right? And he said, I met these blokes and he goes, they introduced me to a bloke called Fluffy, right? And he goes, oh, he's good. Now me and Gabriel Iglesias are friends. I've even opened for Fluffy in an infamous moment. I'm stuttering a lot this week.

And I said, oh, I'm friends with Fluffy. And my father-in-law went, oh, get off it. Come on. You don't know Fluffy. Is that when he really started to have a deep respect for you, is it? Yeah. And one of the last things I was going to do for him, next time I saw Fluffy, I was gonna get a video message to send to Derek from Fluffy. I was gonna do the camera of me and then pan out to Fluffy.

Because he's like, you know he does good, you know he does good, he pulls faces, doesn't he? He does like his mom has a little squidgy face like this and he's got big eyes like that. So he didn't even know when his dad was performing, his mom was performing, it's just the face. You should do that more. And I'm like, yeah, I try to do that.

I try to do different things. You know, I was talking to your wife the other day in the green room right before we did your special and she's gone home for the funeral and whatnot. And that's one thing me, you and your wife have in common is we're away from our family in different countries. And I will say when Derek died, you do think about that when you're you've got your dad left. Yeah. But you're like there is it does come out of tax

doesn't it to leave your country of origin to come to another place you do at times of this you do feel a little disconnected. I made me message my dad and I was like you know hey how you going fella? Well I'll tell you what the airline said. He wasn't that old. No he wasn't that old. It wasn't that old. And I was like, you know, hey, how you going fella? Well, I'll tell you what the airlines. He wasn't that old. No, he wasn't that old. It wasn't that old. It was very sudden.

And the airlines are very sympathetic. You ring them up like this. I need a plane ticket out today. Like I had to get my wife out right away. Right. I'm following a bit later, but I had to get my wife there right away. Right. And so I'm like, I'm like, I need a plane ticket.

There's been a bereavement in the family. And they're going, we're so sorry to hear about your tragic loss and that ticket will be 27,000 and you're like What? First class only I went be I sent me wife a business You can't go to your wife. I'm so sorry about the loss and could you take our toddler? Yeah on frontier Yeah, then through Hawaii. There's a stopover. We could you take our toddler on Frontier, then through Hawaii, then there's a stopover. We got you a real cheap flight.

You've just got to stop over in the Donbass region of the Ukraine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna be going on economy, and then because I'm Diamond Medallion, I'll be upgraded to business. I'll see you later. No, I can't, I couldn't do it, right?

But the airlines fucking raped me, man. They were like, no, the two tickets't do it right, but the airlines fucking raped me man. They were like no to the two tickets be $27,000 that was funny when you're on the phone to me though, and you guys told me the horrible news You did you even then which is just such an Aussie dad thing of you. You're like, oh, it's easy It took you about 12 seconds before you went fucking getting killed by the airlines That was each tick. It was, it's been like 40 grand. It was, it was anyway, I'm like, that's not what it's about. It's not what it's about. Not what it's about. I've got money. This is what money's for. Yeah, you know.

But if you gave the eulogy. So now my mother-in-law's listening and she's like, that cheap bastard. That cheap bastard. And at Derek's funeral there will be a wishing well for Jim to recover some of the costs. No, I, by the time this podcast comes out, I'll already be back from the funeral. I got Jack House sitting for me. So that's always fun. He has to feed the cats. Do the cats bond with you while you're here, Jack? They do.

Yeah. It was funny thing because I spent one, a couple of nights here by myself because my wife has already left, right? Because I had to do some work stuff and the cats ignore me all the time It's like my wife is the only person that exists Fickle creatures now they love me. They all slept with me last night. I wake up with one of them licking my head Maybe I do they do find the leader of the pack that they edit whoever feeds them and then you're out Then you're nothing then they're eating your face when you're dead

sad really life don't they? And it's whoever feeds them. And then you're out. Then you're nothing. Then they're eating your face when you're dead. Sad really. Anyway, anyway, Derek, he was a good guy. He had a good sense of humor. He had a heart of gold and I'm sorry to see him go. Yes, condolences. I'm still recovering from the gear change we went from where we were just talking about gay dudes getting fucked at the rugby and then you were like, my father-in-law died I'm that's what I've got some inertia emotionally I didn't tell you how he died anyway yeah all right so so on to the next thing it's why I liked fluffy like I don't mind that as a joke but don't make it a clip Jack. But he liked fluffy and I'm very sad I didn't get the fluffy clip for him. Can I say so you're you're living here before you go away you know you've been here by

yourself first time in a while. Yeah. This is the last time that you were at home by yourself. Well this is the whole thing I spend so much time alone in hotel rooms that you you know, look, I have enough carefree wanks to last me the rest of my life, right? With the volume up, just going for it in hotel rooms. I had one last night in my house. What a delight. Yeah, you really feel like the mortgage was worth it then. What a delight. But the thing that is not good about it is just straight under the sheets because it's like I don't have a maid here who's... Your Gator roll. But the cleaners are here today so I gotta keep quiet.

Dude this is so depressing you've just told me you've jizzed all over the seats I can see your cleaner currently two rooms away from the absolute horror that is waiting for it. That was last night. It's not like you're gonna peel it. This is a man who constantly brags, my thumb dries completely clear. No, no you don't see the stain but it will make the sheet stick together. It will be hard to pull that apart. So you've said, I see you've got you know you got a cleaner you're doing far better than I. I've got a cleaner once a week. It's not like... I'm not here to attack you I'm just saying it. My dad gets, my dad's on a pension, right? Refuses to get any money from me. I always offer him

money. I once said to him, I said, Dad, how about I just give you a hundred grand and then you can have that money just and you know, leave it to me and you will. You know, if you've got something left. I don't care, right? But just have it so that you know, you can buy whatever food you want, whatever. And he goes, I've got some money. I've got your money. And he goes, and he looked at me like I was a bitch and just went like this. He goes, I'll tell you what, mate, if I'm ever short of a hundred grand, I'll call you.

He's got a big super account that man. Well, he doesn't have, no, he doesn't. He just lives off his pension. But my father lives on an oily rag, mate. He's got like some money left and you know, but he's old, so he doesn't, he goes, I live like a millionaire. Well, you did give him a car,

which he cut the front seat out of so he could turn a sedan. The back seat. He put the back seat down. He folded the back seat down. Okay, this is the story. Right. So my father during COVID was getting a bit stir crazy. He lived with his dog, the dog's now dead, right? The dog was a very placid old dog that used to just sit there. Right. So my dad thought to himself, none of the hotels were taking people and all this

type of stuff and you weren't meant to travel and you meant to stay at home. And he goes, but he got stir crazy. And he saw at his age, there was cities in Australia. He hadn't seen, he's obsessed with seeing every town in Australia. Right. So he goes, he goes, I'll get in there. I'll get in the Mercedes, right. Mercedes had back seats that folded down.

Right. And I'll get in there. I'll get in the Mercedes, right? Mercedes had back seats that folded down, right? And I'll drive around Australia. And what he did was he cut out a chunk of foam, right? To fit the boot, to fit the trunk so that his legs would be, he would be in the trunk. His head would be in the trunk. So it's nice and dark. His legs would be darting out into the back seats, right? And the dog would sleep there with him next to him.

Right? Yeah. Now, before he set it on there, which would be boiling hot, you would die, an 80 year old man. But a Mercedes Benz that's like carved out, the foam cut out, it looks like something you see in like a Middle Eastern war zone, like an old Mercedes that's used as an ambulance back shift on the battlefield. Yeah, it's just got a trunk, this isn't a hatchback, this is a straight up trunk, right? And he goes, he goes, so I figured this out now. He didn't tell me he was doing this. My brother discovered him in the garage, thought he'd committed suicide in the back of the car.

Right. Just saw his legs dangling out the back of the car. The garage is shut. Right. And he goes, Oh my God, my brother, the cop, right. He opens the door and dad wakes up, hits his head into the trunk and he goes I'm just gonna travel around Australia in the back of the the Mercedes sleeping in the back and I was just giving it a dry run Could you imagine anyone in a rest stop is all that would be like he's dead. The dog was there with There with him. Yeah, it's the although better than any car I've ever seen on exhibit It actually works, you know pimp my ride They always put stupid speakers in at least your dad's is practical. He's kept that that car

Is he still using it that cars as new I bought that car for him 15 years ago. It says new it says new He well, I know I know I didn't buy 15 I bought Kate was pregnant with Hank so 12 13 years ago so nonetheless what I was saying to you before we went into money was I So nonetheless, what I was saying to you before we went into money was I imagine you don't have to worry about your sheets because you have succeeded far more than I in your career and you deserve to not do your sheets. You don't wash your sheets? No, this is a fight I'm having at home. I wanted to pick your brain on this one. Yeah, okay. So my girlfriend is OCD.

She's in the right. Yeah, to the maximum. Okay. Now I think cleanliness of a home is probably the biggest couple dispute most ordinary people have. I've told you, I used to think I got better at relationships, right? As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at relationships. I know how to deal with women now. When I was young, I was always angry and fighting and stuff like that. Yes. As I get older, I'm better and better.

No, the houses have gotten bigger. That's all it is. When you're in a one bedroom apartment, it's a war zone. Yeah. It's a war zone. As time goes in a one bedroom apartment, it's a war zone. It's a war zone. As time goes on, you go off to that room and calm down. She calms down, then you come together. I'm sorry for the mean things I said.

I'm sorry, I love you too. And you're back with your- We look back and go, I found my soulmate. It's like your soulmate was actually probably when you were 20 and you guys lived in a studio apartment with no money together. You were willing to tolerate each other for even a year in that environment. Oh. Incredible, dude. Well, anyone who lasted COVID in a studio apartment with no money together, you were willing to tolerate each other for even a year in that environment?

Oh! Incredible dude. For anyone who lasted COVID in a studio with another person, marry that person. Set for life. That's life. So my girlfriend's super clean. Like, for instance, before she goes to bed every night,

even if she's already had a shower and she's walked around the apartment to get a cup of tea, she goes into the bathroom and washes her feet. Cause she's like, I need clean feet on the sheets sheets. Okay. Every time I hear the tap run I'm like you're fucking weird. Okay. She does the sheets three times a week. Three times a week she washes the sheets. I get my sheets done once a week with a cleaner. She does three times a week. She'll be like it's dirty. I don't want to sleep on it. It's dirty. Now. Okay. That's great. It's good for me because I get to sleep on the fresh sheets. Recently though she's like I need you to make the bed and it's my

least favorite thing in the fucking world. Why is it so hard? They should be able to invent something to fit fitted sheets. There should be some tool where you can just slip it on right away because you get three corners in that one corner and then you have to duck it down. Springs up. I have psoriasis on my knuckles and I have to go between the bed sheet and the thing and it always flares it up. And I know I'm pathetic for how much I bitch about it, but there is no job I hate more and it's got to the point with her now where I should say can you just do the sheets while I'm off at the office? I'm working you're at home doing nothing and I go, no, your OCD causes this problem.

I will sleep on bedsheets for a month without changing them. If you want to have the sheets regularly flipped over that I'm sorry that's that is going to be on you. I actually agree with that but it would be reasonable if if I believe bed sheets can last two weeks. Two weeks right. I think listen I think a Sunday changeover is probably good. I think they can last two weeks. I think you should change them weekly. I think that two weeks is in the realm of you're not a disgusting human being. If anyone's listening at home, I have done far worse. I think back to my 20s and the women who came back to my apartment to sleep on those sheets, God bless them. They should be able to march on Anzac Day. They've been to war.

All I can say to you mate is watch sheets because when I was just back home for the Adelaide Fringe, the missus came to visit me. I with I slept on the raw mattress yeah I've done that the raw mattress had just mattress and quilt yeah and so I don't give a fuck yeah my this is what I always want to tell the women for all the shit I've gotten for like oh you mean to ladies my love of women is so high that I am willing to, think about the hotel. Not sleep on sheets.

Think about the, Where are you heading with this? What I'm saying is. You said at the Adelaide Comedy Festival, I was sleeping with no sheets because of my love for women is so high. Yes, because once you get a woman involved, so the way I treat myself is trash.

If I'm staying in a hotel, I will stay in a $40 mattress on the floor in a crack den because I go, what do I fucking care? I'm sleeping, I'm up, I move. The moment a girl joins the trip, you're like, well, I can't put my woman in a place like this. So you've got to buy a nice hotel. You've got to buy nice sheets. Everything has to be nice because you actually respect women more than you respect yourself. Here's the thing. My wife cost me so much more. Okay, even when I'm traveling and doing even like we just recorded a special in Chicago, right, which is coming out in August and we'll talk about it later, right. Even when I'm doing, I stayed in a basic hotel

room. I just stayed in a basic hotel room. I don't need a suite. All I need is a bed and a telly and a nice toilet and a shower, right. Off they go. My wife, however, who I earn more of the money than she does right? Yes my wife However, she can't do it. I think she'll hate me saying this and she is bereaved right now She's she's very upset right now father. She should be staying in the nicest sweet The good thing about this is she's in mourning right now. So she won't listen to this podcast I'll get away with this one. All right, so My wife can't shit within a certain proximity of me, right? Whereupon, like if she needs to go have a shit and I'm in a hotel, I have to go for a walk.

And then I go for a walk for 20 minutes. I go get myself some maybe breakfast or whatever. I come back and then she's like this. Oh, didn't do it because I was worried you were going to come back. I don't know why she sounded like my mother then but anyway right so I've started getting I have to have sweets with two toilets so we have to have three doors we have to the bedroom door then other door with mate that's amazing that she can even do that Anika went has gone over two weeks many times and taken no

shit when we're on a vacation what is wrong with these people I know because I even say to her I go listen I'm burping I'm farting in a ridiculously despicable manner. You can have a shit quietly, but then again, she burped yesterday I said yuck so it could be on me. I Might be part of the problem Honey my wife I'll lick down there You know what I mean? Yeah, we're good We're in an era where men are talking about eating ass and women are like, I can't take a shit within five meters. Exactly. That's when you can't take a shit.

When I'm going down and you're no shits then, that's the only time. It's the first policy. That's my only policy on you shitting. The only one. Just not on me. I mean, I don't want to go into eating ass. Because it's all anyone talks about in America. I talk to my wife daily about my hemorrhoids. Oh, they're bloody rough today. Oh Oh that was a bad one. Oh they're

gone. Oh a bit better today. My hemorrhoid report is like the weather in this house. I'm a hundred percent the same. I'm like Annika at 74 outside and there wasn't blood on the toilet paper. It's a hell of a day. And she's so supportive. She brings me creams. We're going to see a bad area down here, expect a lot of problems down here. Some spotting. We will see some relief in the evening. Yeah she buys me all sorts of creams but she will not, she simply will not go to the bathroom anyway.

I already know that you had the same issue. No I didn't. No, but like it also ruins the trip because she's constantly got a sore stomach. This is the thing, she won't do it and I hear about it. Like, like, like, hearing about you not shitting is worse than you shitting. I've said to Annika. If you shit and there's a smell of shit in the house, I'll get over that very quickly. But mind you, then she...

I would write a real diarrhea to the verbal diarrhea. But do you do what I do? Like it's okay, you can shit in front of... I don't give a fuck, you're allowed to shit. You're allowed to shit. I'll go for a walk. Alright? I'm gonna go off and I'll go. I remember one time I went to Dairy Cream and I'm eating one of those blizzards, right? And I've walked back. I've walked back into the house and I've gone like this. Bloody hell, the place smells like shit. What am I doing? What am I doing? This girl has struggled. She did what? And I'm only joking. I couldn't even smell the fucking shit.

I was like a fucking piggery in here. Alright, so I record the special in Chicago. It went really well. It's coming out August. Here comes the segue. I don't think I could... No, there is a segue. I don't think I can go the full thing. Now there is a routine that you've seen me do many times, which is about me wearing... I'm not going to say the punchline, but the joke is about me wearing a mask of my own face. And I go through all this... I'm about to have sex with a girl. I'm wearing a mask of my own face. Very Jungian.

Yeah, and I do a dance and I play with my penis and I talk about what language she spoke. It's a five minute routine, right? Maybe four minute routine, right? Anyway, I won't do the routine, but I needed to shit the whole time. Now if you watch my special intolerant, I talk about a moment that when you get home and you need to shit and you're putting the key in the door where your body goes, we've made it

and then you have to run that last little bit, right? It's not a coincidence, your ass has its own brain. It has its own timing. It knows when, it's like Pavlovian. Oh, the door's open, we're going to the toilet and then just let your bowels go, right? So I need to shit from the moment. I got on stage the other day, right? I walked on stage and was like my ass went

And I was like, oh god Got an hour and a half of stand-up to do try not to think about trying to sit there It didn't sit sit on the edge of the stage Stayed quite stationary. Yeah, I stayed quite stationary around around like this. I get to the final joke and I go, I think I was in Poughkeepsie, right? So the people at Poughkeepsie, I'm sorry. I go like this, I go, uh, I go, I go, this is my final joke. And then the smallest bit of shit came out of my ass because my ass went,

oh, we made it to the end of the show like this. Right. And I literally went like this. I was wearing a mask of my own face and I had sex with this girl how weird was that the joke still got a laugh and then I just ran off stage I went thank you goodnight and normally I stay and wave and lap it up for 10 seconds 15 seconds right and I just I ran off the stage and Todd our road manager was like this hey good Jim show Jim why'd you leave it so I went and just squirted all over the I ran off the stage and Todd, our road manager, was like this, hey, good gym, show gym,

why'd you leave it so, and I went, ah! And I went and just squirted it all over the toilet. Now, the amount of shit that came out of my ass wasn't, it didn't reach the pants, because I had to do a meet and greet after that, and I didn't have extra pants with me. So you just free-balled it? No, no, it didn't reach the underwear.

It just smeared along the crest. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right. It was only the smallest bit. After got there but you know look I saved the day. You're trying to sell meet and greet tickets and every time you tell the story you basically say I've pushed the hemorrhoid back in before I've shake your hand. I always wash my hands. You've got to cut these out of the pond. I push hemorrhoids back into my body. I just don't think Dua Lipa is doing this before or after her concerts

She's a fun girl I'll tell you half the porn stars are doing it. That's that's why porn stars have always liked me because we could talk about our pro left assholes Alright, let's see your next segue. What else you I love your segues more than anything. I don't know what the next topic is. All right, well, let's go on to the topic. I had to go from special to my father-in-law. But you agree with what I'm saying now. When I said men often do actually have more respect and love for women because we are willing

to give them luxuries than we ourselves would live such stoic and meagre sad. That's why, okay, one more thing about the thing. I fart in front of my wife, but I don't let her fart in front of me. And that is a complete double standard and it's completely terrible and not that I don't let her, she doesn't want to fart in front of me and she asked if it would be a turn-off and I said I wouldn't like it. I don't want to see women that just crack farts. I've had a girlfriend that cracked farts and my mother was a fart. My mother would just lay in a lazy boy's chair

just letting it rip, just But it's all about standards. Women will continue to fuck you no matter if you're gross men won't fuck women if they're gross so if women just stopped fucking us then we would actually behave more I said they're like it's like cute and I said to my wife on the second or third date when we were starting to get really into each other right I said I said look I farted in front of her yeah and I said is it just who I am I said it's good that you know it now I'm farted in front of her and I said, is it just who I am? I said, it's good that you know it now.

I'm gonna fart in front of you constantly. But here's the deal. You let me fart in front of you and you will never pay for food in my company ever again. Fart tax, I'll keep you fed. There's no, no better offer than that. I'll keep you fed. And to this day I go I rip

one out and my wife goes fart tax and she fist bumps. Yeah no problem. At a restaurant? I've kept my promise I've kept that woman fed she's gone to fine restaurants there's never not food in the house to be honest. She can go to Whole Foods with a credit card and buys much she goes to fucking Air One and buys food I don't complain fart tax. I'll try and do a segue now you ready yeah speaking of the ass Joe Biden has prostate cancer how was that? Ah poor Joe look yeah the thing about Joe Biden having prostate cancer is this prostate cancer's meant to be a very painful version of cancer and it doesn't get enough charity money because no one wants to buy a brown ribbon

with red spots on it. But the thing is, how dare the Democrats ever make him run for president? They knew this before the bloody election. What was their game? Was their game, was the Democrats game, we get Biden in, he wins the election, he dies, we get Kamala. Yeah, that's probably the way they thought. The only way to get a female president is

we had an old white guy to die. I think that's what happened because they fucking knew. The Democrats let us down. Well, it depends on who knew, but certainly internal people knew. You can't have this cancer just pop up now. And it's very interesting that it comes out the same time that they're releasing that book by Jake Tapper about the dementia coverup. But now we've got a coverup of the prostate cancer. Jake Tapper can go fuck himself as well because he's like, oh no,

he would have been in a wheelchair and we all knew this, we all knew this. Then why didn't you say something, May? Same as George Clooney, who's now on Broadway doing a show about the importance of speaking truth to power, you held a benefit for the guy. You knew at the time when you had the benefit with him that he was not cognitive or mentally and physically

fit to be the president. You said nothing until it came after the debate where you knew he was going to lose. Everyone could have called it out when they saw it and you can have a go at all these MAGA people and right-wing people. They saw with their fucking eyes the man was sick. But there was there was nothing to call out. You didn't have to tell anybody he's just not running us his private life is his private life he is not running for another term he is so happy that he got to be the president for four years he's not running for a term he wants to spend time with his family. Okay here's the thing I'll never forget is when when Joe

was and we talk about this all the time as traveling comedians how fucking tired we are from doing a performance and then having to jump on a plane and go over. And could you imagine to be at that age you have cancer, you have mental impairment and you have to make all these decisions through the middle of the night and travel around the world. It's simply not able to do it. Every time you're on a plane your body swells up, parts of your body swells up, your watch gets, your rings get tight, everything gets tight. I'm being serious. My hemorrhoids get worse on planes, right? Things swell up and you're putting a man in his fucking 80s on a plane every fucking day. And what I'll

never get is, obviously his internal circle knew this was going on. There was all these reports. Remember about medical emergencies and planes turning red. Oh, we saw the doctors show up and they said, oh, it's because of his brain. It wasn't, it was because of his asshole. And one thing that I thought about a lot over the weekend, I was at a wedding in Annapolis. I was at the Naval Academy. One of my girlfriend's cousins got married and everyone there was like in the Navy, Naval SEALs people. In the Navy. You know, the one topic that dominated the conversation? Imagine the amount of pumping in the showers at that wedding.

They all did talk about the YMCA thing. We played in the Navy a lot. A lot of people I noticed who were chatting about this were like how did the wife, if your wife cares for you, you know, wouldn't she, most wives are always trying to get their husbands to do less. My wife wants me to do less work. My wife worries about, that's one of the things that I'll say was magical about being married. I legitimately have someone who is worried about my health all the time.

I get angry about it. She asked me to eat different foods and all that type of stuff, but I truly believe being married to my wife and having kids will mean that I'm going to live 15 to 20 years longer than I was because I would have kept my drinking, I would have kept my drug use, I would have kept my smoking, I would have kept all those things if not for my kids. Something happens when you have children, the first thing that happens is your brain says, and you've heard people say this before, your brain says it's not okay to die, right? It's not okay for me to, no one would miss you.

You'd be, you'd be fine. You could die at any stage. And my girlfriend's life would probably go up. Yeah. Yes. Yes. She would have clean sheets all the time and she'd be able to shit regularly. She'd live longer.

She would live longer. She would live longer. Colin would be less impacted. But when you have children, the first thing is you try to get your health together. And then when you marry someone, especially when you marry someone younger, which I did, because I constantly remind my wife that she'll be alone for a long time, right? She's 13 years younger than me. And she's healthier than me. She's at least got 20 years to herself, right? If anything's fair in this world, right? She's got 20 years to herself. So and, and honey, if you're listening to the podcast, I don't want you to remarry.

Whatever people tell you, he'd want you to be happy. No, I don't. No, no. Just mourn me constantly all the time. What if it's me in the wings? Oh, you can give her one, but she doesn't change the sheets as much as your one. You wouldn't be used to it. You think she's a pig, my wife? Once a week. Because you imagine if your, if your widow, if I moved in here, how many people would be like, fuck, he played a long game, this sicker. I have things in the will that you're not getting nothing. I have it, I have it all in place. Yeah. You got

to have it all in place. I'm looking at that watch. Okay, I want to play a Jill Biden clip that I'll never forget. When he was terrible in that debate. I might put the pinball machine. I got a new pinball machine coming from Stern Pinball. Gary Stern came to my special, the maker of pinball. I made a pinball suggestion for him as well for a machine, which I'll tell you afterwards that I think they might make. I actually, I've discovered

something good. Let me play you this Jill Biden clip after his disastrous debate and it was very clear that like obviously the yearning for power is strong and when you're there you don't want to get away with it. Yeah. You don't want to leave it. People must, the power must be intoxicating. It must be, no one wants to give it up. Okay listen, listen to the, remember this moment when she was talking about his debate performance. Joe, you did such a great job. You answered every question you knew all about. And let me ask the crowd, what did Trump do?

Why? Whenever I watch that clip and now that you know that he's suffering prostate cancer and he's got a bit of dementia, dementia decline and he's looking baffled after he's just had this humiliating debate performance and his wife has the microphone at this event clearly pushing the campaign along. She's been told he needs to step down, it's better for the country, better for the Democratic Party and she was constantly like, no, he's fit, he's able because that maintains her status as the first lady United States and you watch that there she talks like a fucking preschool teacher and here's a gold star come on

everybody like wouldn't you think if you love like and I'm not saying she doesn't love her husband but as we said the thirst for power most people you'd say honey you've had an amazing career. You've been a public servant for most of your life. You've reached the presidency, but it's better for your health, for our family, for the country. If you pass the baton on that didn't, that that's not what that looks like. When you know this.

And I think of like my mother-in-law, her husband is, he's not the healthiest dude and he travels a lot for work and and he's the CEO of a company. And she's all- He's doing a bit better with his daughter. And he's doing better now, this is the thing, because his wife is like, you need to do less, because you need to be alive.

Your health and family comes first. And I just like look at this, and I look at Bernie Sanders, who just went on the Andrew Schultz podcast, and has made some big headlines, where he said that, you know, basically the Democratic Party has stolen from their own voters, the ability for people to have a say on who

they think should represent them. No, Trump didn't win the election the Democrats fucking lost it. He did win I'm not taking it away from you. He did win the election but you know what I mean the Democrats couldn't have fucked that election up more they couldn't have done a more botched job. Well yeah from a from a very basically since that first Bernie campaign where Hillary was installed and then ever since then, it's kind of been this out of control train where they're afraid of telling the truth because their biggest fear is that Donald Trump gets in, which makes them act crazy,

which means the media starts to lie and cover up because to them they go, the ends justifies the means because we think Trump is so bad. But that has made them into monsters that no one likes. The media has never been less trusted. The Democratic Party now is like covering these things up. Some people are calling it not Watergate, but Prostgate. This is going to be the big cover up of our time. Can't pass Watergate.

There's your clip. So listen, I think this is going to be an interesting thing. Cause now they're going to all say, don't speak ill of a man who's dying. And that will be the way that I feel sorry for Joe Biden. I feel like he was a puppet who was pushed into the situation. Although that's how he's going to be remembered. He's going to be remembered as an old bastard who just didn't want to give up power and he was a great public servant, right?

Whether you agreed with him or not, he dedicated his life to public service. He had tragedy throughout his life. He had, he had a child and a wife die in a car accident. You know, I have a lot of empathy for this man. Right. And I think as a vice president, I think he did a great job. Right. But here we are.

Are you too old? I wonder, I wonder, uh, because they're saying it's like a some kind of something level 9 it's into the bones it very well could be dead summer he had cancer probably probably he's known for over a year I think he's known for over yeah who knows I guess we're not doctors we don't know well but his doctor going to be in some big fucking trouble because that guy kept saying clean bill of health. How dare they say we should vote for a dying man and then we would have been given a president that we didn't vote for.

It's fucking bullshit, man. It's bullshit. And the Democrats have got a lot of cleaning up to do and they all have to speak out against this. Anyone who knows something has to say something now. And that what they want everyone's covering for their own fucking ass like Jake Tapper's writing a book and then he's just going to cash in on it. Well, mind you, most people, most people in the Democratic Party probably would have heard rumors and whispers, but it's not like, it's not like Biden went up to him and went, I suppose that's my RFK. Maybe, maybe he was like, he'd do those speeches because he used to shuff.

Remember they used to say he shat himself because he'd shuffle off. Yeah. He's got big fucking pain in his ass. I remember watching that debate, looking at those two old men talking to each other, going, give them an ad break so the cunts can sit down. Like when they go, we're off to an ad, they must have both sprinted to the toilet. Sprinted or that I reckon, I reckon without a shadow of a doubt. Trump didn't even take a piss on three hours of Rogan.

I reckon without a shadow of a doubt, I reckon that Biden was wearing a diaper during those debates and rightfully so at that age. Yeah, I've got no issues with that. Like I fucking evidently need one to do stand up now. This is something that's gone viral. This is some years ago, Joe Biden, they called it a gaffe at the time. This is in 2022 or 2023. Not sure exactly when, but...

Yeah, but I stutter on words and mess up words. It's one of these things where you just said the wrong word. When you look at it now, you go, oh, I think he admitted he had cancer. Listen to this. And because it was a four-lane highway that was accessible, my mother drove us rather than us being able to walk. And guess what? The first frost, you know what was happening?

You had to put on your windshield wipers to get literally the oil slick off the window. That's why I and so damn many other people I grew up with have cancer. And why can't for the longest time, Delaware had the highest cancer rate in the nation? So after that they said he didn't mean he has cancer. He misspoke. He just meant to say why so many people he knew had cancer. And now you look back and think maybe he just... I don't know.

If I had cancer, like how good can being the president be? There's so much TV to watch. I would just be lying in bed relaxing. And let me ask you, so my favorite person was Norm McDonald in comedy and he died and no one knew he had cancer. Do you think, would you be like Norm? He never made a comment about it? Do you think you'd be like Norm or do you think you would tell fucking everyone about it? My whole life I tell everyone my problems. That's my whole thing. I had a mother growing up, here we go, it always comes back to it,

I had a mother growing up who if you asked her, hey Carolyn how are you doing? She would tell you her ailments. My mother could not go. I'm good. Thanks How are you? She didn't have it in it and I find myself doing that all the fucking time people go. Hey, what's up? Not good. Me father-in-law just died and I had a hemorrhoid pop out on stage and I've shit meself That's why that's why this podcast is good for right? I have that issue as well. It's something I really dislike about myself. I Right? I have that issue as well. It's something I really dislike about myself. I, I, I, here we go.

Talk about myself. Lay down on the couch. I really dislike this about myself. I wish I could be a person that they just went, I'm fine, thanks. How are you? And that's what you're meant to bloody do. Well, I don't know.

Then again, the male suicide epidemic is so high that everyone's saying the opposite. So maybe you are in the right position where you're meant to share. That's why men become trans because they're suicide. It's so stressful being a man. I'll keep being a woman. I'm trying to put that thing okay so you're saying if you share your feelings too much you become trans? I'm just saying. You're like I want to share my feelings but I'm a

man so I'm gonna say I'm a woman so this is socially acceptable. Exactly! Exactly! So the transgenders are actually suicidal men that just wanna be able to get things off their chest. Is, okay, well get things on their chest. To get them off later, yeah. To get them off later when they regret it. But is there any more showing of your feelings than becoming trans?

Yeah. Well it is, it's the manifestation of the female feelings to be made into the physical. Exactly, exactly, like what is it's the manifestation of the female feelings to be made into the physical. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And females commit suicide way less than men. Yeah. Trans people, I think, have a high suicide rate. That's where this starts to collapse. I look, I tell you, no one said it was a real point. I tell you what, if I if I could win a fight by crying and someone would give me a house, I wouldn't commit suicide either.

Right. Speed round before we get out of here. Here's some big things that are happening at this moment also. Japan's Prime Minister said his country's financial situation is worse than Greece and people are saying that Japan could financially collapse like our Greek friends. But tourism is so up in Japan. Yeah but they've had no interest rates now for something like 20 years. Well they got to fix that but Japan is hot a country in the world to visit as anywhere on earth. And then I think the tariff situation is...

Oh, yes, yes. So they're not helping them either. Because they make a lot of electronics. And you know, those Pokemon cards don't come free. I assume they're from Japan. Yeah, and the Pokemon's dipped down ever since. What was it? What was Pokemon Snap? What was that fucking thing?

Pokemon is actually the name for my Jamaican gay club Pokemon Pokemon what do you think what do you think Jack? No the only thing that I got lots of the only thing that bit missed was you looking at the camera going clip it I'm going I had another gay nightclub the other day what was the gay nightclub I had the other day I was in South Country. All this fucking guy does is go here's a gay nightclub. If you want to own a gay nightclub you have money open one. No I get the names I'm good with the names. The Perth Bears. I'm good with the names. Bear with me. Bear with me. Bear with me for couples. That's a good that's a good gay aiding up. Bear with me.

Just the new grinder but for bears. You get into the club but you've got to bring a bear with you. Yeah, bear with me. Okay, another story. Annie Knight, an Australian version of Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips, broke the Australian record the other day with 583 men. Give me a look at her. Now here's what upsets me is she has just got engaged to James Brayshaw, the football commentator, one of my favorite people's sons.

And I'm thinking, mate, here's the weirdest part about this. What? Yeah. JB, your son's getting married to a chick who's rooted over a thousand men this year, 583 in a day. And they said, how'd your boyfriend feel about it, your fiance? And she said he was great, he's a fly-in fly-out worker so he couldn't be there to support me on the day but he sent me their well wishes in the morning. So

let's play this out. Okay. You've got up to go work in a fucking pit, a coal pit. Imagine how many times your wife would have, your girlfriend would have had to change the sheets that day. If she's doing it when her feet are messy. Yeah to be fair to my girlfriend. She had to change the sheet 500, 600 times. I don't even think she changed it once but if we can just, you talk amongst yourselves. I'm going to find. Give me a picture of it, show me a picture, I'll tell you whether she's. Here she is, so she put a pink bandana. What's that called again? Schema? Yeah, Schema Balaclava is the word. Okay, so she advertised for 200 guys to come. 583 dudes turned up. That's her there.

She's very pretty. Yeah, she's from the Gold Coast. She did 583. But I just, for me, it's the cuckery of the boyfriend who's at his office or in his mind site. And you're like, my girlfriend. The guy's only got 30 seconds to a minute. Nah, I wouldn't have been able to do it. Must have been young men. They lined up in there.

Must have been young men. Well, if we can just. Is there a fluffer that helps you out? So you just finish it here? Could you just pause for a sec, Jack? I just wanna bring this up. Because it might take me. We've got five minutes. I gotta go. I just gotta find, really want to find this thing because I was.

Also you're doing 500 something Bonnie Blue's doing 1057 what are you even bothering at this stage? Because you know what she's doing it for Australia smaller country. It's also it's only fans is how much you're gonna make that day she must have made it she definitely made a million bucks that day right? Yeah and so that's what a lot of people are saying it like well the boyfriend doesn't care because his missus is making millions of dollars here we go here's fucking sign into everything nothing in this life. She's very pretty it's very good looking girl you think so I think so I think she much better looking than our Bonnie blue she's she's a she's top- girl. Back in the day she'd be a top

porn star when they used to make porn. Something about Aussie ones that just doesn't seem right. Because you don't like the voice. Oh yeah come on. Oh my box got stuffed. Finish off on me. Put the goo on the face. Come on. Come on let's go. Oh that's in my eye. You're cheeky. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Oh, that's in my eye, you're cheeky. Okay. So first of all, these blokes here, 583 of them, most of the time is just spent in a waiting room

chatting to a group of lads who have come across the country. Mate, for most of those guys, the sea is so far out of their limit. It's unbelievable. But 30 seconds is 30 seconds like fucking hell I gotta wait there for my 30 seconds just buy a prostitute for an hour mate like you know what I mean like 30 seconds with this woman. Okay let me ask you that way could you be like young Henry Brayshaw and your first wife

who you're about to marry you're both in your lates. Could you marry this chick knowing that when you're off to the office, she's got 583 blokes? I, you know what? That would be mentally easier for me to handle than the wife having an emotional affair. I know that sounds a bit weird. No, I agree. No.

Because, or if it was just one bloke that she had for a couple of hours that she could have bonded with, because now it's like, but I wouldn't because fucking, I don't know how much HPV you're coming back with. It's the beat that they make a new straight. This is how COVID was made. It's the super gonorrhea. I couldn't listen. I remember maybe that that's, that's the male ego.

I remember I was playing football once And I'd been dating this girl for about two months as I've gotten older I've gotten less concerned about sex about someone or you kiss ownership. Yeah, it's it's it's more I'd be more upset about Emotional pull if I'd be more upset if my wife was texting a guy and all that type of stuff rather than you know I took this mark I'm like 18 right and I'm lining up for a goal and so when you line up for goal in football all the opposition players are trying to taunt you as you walk into the kick. Sure. I'll never forget this dude. He's like walking past me. Chewie on your boot. He goes,

Oi Oi Oi. I go and I look and he goes, do you date, I'm not gonna say her name, he goes yeah Jono fucked her in the ass. She loves it. She got fucked in the ass by Jono. Few of us have run through her. And I kicked the goal. And I remember being like, this is where you actually help the focus. You start a fight.

And instead of getting angry at the dude, I ran past him and I go, fuck, how'd you get her to do that? I can't get anywhere near that. Give us a tip. And they all laughed. And then after the game, they were like, he's a good bloke, he's fucking, he's a funny bloke. But then I remember sitting there thinking,

God, I'm a bitch. Like, isn't that when you start punching on, some guy saying he fucked his missus in the ass. And I was like, well, I kicked the girl, doesn't bother me. Maybe deep down I knew this isn't gonna be my wife I'm just dating someone here but if I couldn't handle that if that upset me the idea of 583 guys running through my wife well I'll just I'm gonna finish the podcast here there's a reason

your girlfriend changed the sheet so much I found I found the fucking person. Don't do that to me. Why do you think she's always watching? She comes home, she comes home, she's always clean. Okay, here we go. So, happy? Great day. Anyone out there? What a great experience. Get on down. She'll cast you on her own problem. Oh, legend. Sounds like a happy customer.

Oh, like who couldn't be happy? Who's a legend mate? She looks so happy. I've had a photo before, honey. Great. Yeah? Amazing. They'll slip you a few more dollars after.

Jesus. Time was a game at the time itself. It's about the time. It's about the quality, not the quality. That's right, yeah, that's it. No, fantastic. Every bloke should get on down and give her a go. You know what's fun about that?

She seems like a nice girl and he seems like a good bloke. And he was number 510. Imagine if you're scrolling through Instagram and you see your dad sitting there with a 24 year old porn star and your dad's like this yeah if my dad knew this was an option he would have been we have to check where Gary was on that day. If I call my dad this week he goes just got back from the Gold Coast how are you? You go what what are you doing over there? He's like, I'm just washing my pink balaclava. Got a bit of goo on it.

You might want to give it to your Daisy, it's a girl's one. All right, you want to see, here's the- Let them in. I'm getting real life 500 plus people today and I'm going to vlog the whole thing. This is my little before fit. This is what I looked like before before gonna take Billy for a quick little W-a-l-k around the block and then I'm out of here. Why are you spelling walk taking bill for walk?

Cuz I'm living him home by himself for ten hours Yes! I'm a little bit nervous. I've got like 12 staff members here helping me out. We're between $200 to $600. When Lily Phillips did a challenge like this, she cried because she couldn't make all the men finish. Hey guys! Come in! You'll sign in here. Thank you. And then I'll see you back there.

Oh my god! I was like what the? I was like... Fucking hell world. This is hookup culture taken to the end. You know where to come. And yeah. Alright, how would you feel if your son is 18? Yeah. Hank's, and you go,

my son went to a 550 person gangbang? I'd be more concerned if I found a pink balaclava in his closet. I'd be like, oh, what's all this about? You know what? If he's wearing a pink balaclava, he's holding up a gay bar. Bear with me. He's holding up the Perth Bears and that'll wrap it up. Alright, so that's what's happening at this moment. Good night.