I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 21 - Who's Really at Fault for the Late Show Ending?

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

At this moment Jim and Amos rant about how the woke movement has hurt the career of dwarves, the Coldplay jumbotron scandal, how Amos is banned from talking about Bonnie Blue, and the cancelation of the Late Show. Derek from the Snake joins them as well! Watch THE SNAKE on FOX Tuesdays at 9pm ET/8pm CT and available the next day on Hulu. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: https://www.jimjefferies.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies FB: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/ Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

Hi everybody. Welcome to at this moment with me, Jim Jefferies. I'm here with Amos Gill. Uh, we are recording two episodes at once because we're about to be on the road. So if you're listening to this first episode, come and see us in Hawaii. We'll come and see me in Hawaii. I'll be in Maui and in, uh, Honolulu this Friday and this Saturday. And then come and see me in Europe because I will be gigging for, I think

60 cities I'm coming to across Europe. Amos, what are you up to? I'm in Montreal for the Just For Laughs Festival today. When this comes out for you, I think it's Wednesday. Come and see me at Café Clio Patra. I'm doing a solo show there. Oh, it's a fun room. Café Clio Patra. I've been up there. I think it's normally a strip club, isn't it? I think it's a burlesque club or something like that. Yeah. So today's podcast, as Jim said, we were recording a long one. I don't even know what's going to be cut in there, but I imagine it's going to be

something like the Coldplay cheating affair, the role of dwarfs in entertainment. Well, that's always in an episode. The axing of Stephen Colbert. How politically motivated is it? Is it just a sign of changing times or is it in fact the creeping hand of fascism? And of course we'll be mentioning Bonnie Blue as always. But besides that, we'll also be talking to Derek from The Snake. He's this week's Snake. Check out The Snake on Fox.

Also, I got a special coming out August... What's the fucking date man? August 12th on Netflix to Lim policy. Let's start the show baby. I'm well lit as a candle. All right. All right. What do we got to talk about at this moment? All right. There's obviously one thing the whole world's talking about. I've been in green rooms in Montreal. Yeah. And it's fun to discuss at every moment is the couple from US tech company, Astronomers being caught on camera

having an affair at the Coldplay concert. I found out about this while I was doing Howie Mandel's podcast and he actually had the clip and pulled it up. At first you just go to kiss cam, right? They're going around to different people. On the Jumbotron. There's a couple and you can tell that they're not married because they look

super in love, right? At an older age and an older age, like they're holding each other and like he, it's a billion dollar company. He's the CEO. She's the head of HR. I believe maybe not the head, but she's the H I had, she's the Andy Brian and H I had to Kristen Cabo. And they were very clearly a couple, but it turns out they were having an affair.

Well, it was so crazy because it's just a reaction gave it away. So if you are out with your side piece and you go on the camera, you've just, all we were discussing is what would you actually do? Cause he folded like a deck chair, dude. He just immediately drops to the floor and she puts her hands over her head. Like she's so ashamed, which is the giveaway. If they just swayed with the music and he gave her a peck on the cheek, no one would have.

There would have been enough people in the stadium that they still would have been caught. They wouldn't have been caught by the world. Yes. But here's, here's what I was, we were discussing was, okay, if you do go in there, you got to do something better than drop to the floor. So this was my solution. Yes. But here's, here's what I was, we were discussing was, okay, if you do go in there, you got to do something better than drop to the floor. So this was my solution. You clip her heels with your foot.

So she falls over. Yeah. I would have gone for, I'm so drunk and your arms around her and you give her like a noogie and you're like, ah, having a crazy company day. You know what I mean? And then you rope in someone else. I would have given her a dead leg. It probably would have been better for his marriage. If he like elbowed her.

Yeah. The Chinese burn. You call them Chinese burns in America. You call them Indian burns. I don't know why that's more offensive. Why are they called Chinese burns and Indian burns? Why can't they just be called skin twisters or something like that? Why do we have to be racist with the bird?

Oh, something horrible is happening to me. It's those foreigners. They're eating our dogs. They're giving us some birds. Yeah. I still can't believe they call it telephone. Like now, now because society has moved on, it's actually called, uh, guardians burns. Yeah. Yeah. Good.

So, uh, yeah. Andy, Brian and H I had the Kristen Cabo. Well, I've had that been put on leave by the company. Were you at the show that I, okay. So I do a meet and greet after my show and after the show, you've seen me do these meet and greets and you've been involved in them. And when what happens is people come up and you go, all right, let's get a group photo with a whole group of you or a couple's photo. Then I do individual photos, you know, so you can have one for your social media

or one of your couple or one. If you break up, you get an, you know, whatever. Right. I take as many different combinations of photos. This couple walks up and they're like, they're like, Oh, we just have individual ones. I went, no, come on. You're lined up. Come on. Just a memento of the day. Come on, let's have a couple's photo. And the guy's like, we're having an affair.

We'll just have individual photos. Right. Who's going to a meet and greet? Who has an affair and goes to the meet and greet. It's insane. And then gets individual photos of each and then just be like, Oh, I saw Jenny was also at the concert. Oh, I didn't see her was he? Oh, just went by myself.

This will, this will be a momentous occasion for side pieces around the world everywhere. Because I think from now on, anyone who's having an affair, someone's like, let's go out for dinner. Everyone will go, it's the rule of cold play. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The side pieces have lost what little freedom they had. They, they used to, they used to be able to go out to a dimly lit restaurant and sit in a corner, but it's too risky. It's too many cameras everywhere. Postmates and leave it at the door. Yeah. Let me tell you, today is a great day to buy stock in Holiday Inn Express. door. We're not. Today is a great day to buy stock in Holiday Inn Express.

Go on back to the Holiday Inn. Put the concert footage on the YouTube, on the TV and close the door. Draw the curtain. Yeah. Yeah. And if you can't afford Holiday Inn stock, Hampton Inn, it's all good stuff. I'm looking, or go to the double tree, have a chocolate chip cookie. You're already cheating on your wife. Why not? Your diet as well. I won't have a bad word said about the double tree, have a chocolate chip cookie. You're already cheating on your wife. Why not? You diet as well. I won't have a bad word said about the double tree. You can buy my loyalty with a chocolate chip cookie. And also it sat in a warmer. Like if, if there was a hotel that offered you a hero sandwich of a good quality,

of a good quality Jersey Mike's upwards. Right. That would be my new hotel of choice. Maybe a slider. You can't do a full, you don't want a full hero. No, six inches. Not like a fool here. I've just, I've just gotten to the counter.

You know how, you know how, how, how much, how fast I is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On my pillow, they did. They just, they, they can leave a slider on my pillow. That's a late night snack. That's the turn down.

Yes. It's where you can get your turned down services. You get a slider and you, you, you like, of course, when you check in, you go chicken, uh, beef or veggie so that they know, they know your profile. That would be on your Marriott's Bonvoy account. You can only do, I think, choc chip cook. Like if you go to a hotel and they go, thanks for being a loyal member. Here's a short stack of pancakes for your loyalty. My, my wife made pancakes this morning and brought them into bed with like a,

just a bottle of maple syrup. Fuck it's a messy food to eat on your stomach in it. But, but heaven, I just want to pick up to me wife. I won't be having an affair at Coldplay anytime soon. She bought herself a few more days with those pancakes. Well done, love. Have you seen the statement from the man who got caught? What did he say?

He's kind of had a vague diss at Coldplay. Okay. So let me just pull this up. Uh, he's essentially saying in his statement that, cause Coldplay came back and said, they're going to put in a affairs section of the stadium where the camera won't go. You know, also, is Coldplay running out of material? Comedians do this with Q and A's at the end of shows. Just, uh, do a kiss cam.

Uh, my voice can only hold out for 15 songs. This tour kiss cam it up. I saw Motley crew used to do a boob camera and then people with their phone cameras ruin that. So now we can only go to kiss cam anyway. So the guy released a statement. Yeah, he's, uh, you know, it's the classic of disappointed, my family, my friends, the company, this is not the culture that we want.

I mean, the fact that it's a HR, which is the most hated of all the divisions in every company, you've got to think there'd be people that work there where the CEO who looks like a Swami prick and this woman in HR who's probably smarmy, smarmy. I think some people thought you said the word Swami. Smarmy, Swami.

I did say Swami. Yeah. Swami is a different thing. Swami. What's Swami? I did say Swami. Yeah. Swami is a different thing. Swami. What's Swami? Swami is like, is like of Indian descent or something like that or Arabic. I don't know. I don't use the word. Ah yes.

Ramaswamy is what I'm thinking. Yeah. I know it's, I know it's a derogatory term. You meant to say, Swami. Swami. That's what I meant. Fuck it. How lucky I am here.

I'm the safety net for your career now, am I? Yeah. So you'd think if you worked at that company, it's got to be one of the great days to see the HR woman having an affair with, which a lot of people are saying, a younger woman inside the team who was brought along. And some people are saying that looks like a menagerie that was going to happen. Okay. There seem to be other people in the group. There seemed to be a big group of them there.

So it was, it wasn't a, they went in a group. It wasn't a closed secret that they were having an affair. There was, there was several people who knew about the affair. So they must've been going for a very long time. Also, I want to give it up for this. Is she, she looked like an age appropriate woman. Normally when people have affairs, they go young. I don't know how old his wife is. Maybe she's 80, maybe he's going downwards.

And here we are once again saying, you know, the men of the world have listened. And now, when you cheat on your wife, it's with a woman. I'm saying with Jeff Bezos and this guy with the age appropriate women, I just want to just give it up for men and all the good we're doing. And how, and how fucking noble we have been in the media of late. Like give it up for men and all the good we're doing and how, and how fucking noble we have been in the media of late. Like give it up for us. We're not all bad guys. To have an affair with another menopausal woman is so much growth. Well, the good thing is it looked like he wasn't going to be able to get her pregnant, which is always the best thing with an affair. You can't be, that's always ruins a family.

Is what he's written. I want to acknowledge the moment that's been circulating online and the disappointment that it's caused. I'd say it's caused a lot of joy. What was supposed to be a night of music and joy has turned into a deeply personal mistake playing out on a very public stage. I'd like to sincerely apologize to my wife, my family and the team and astronomer, you deserve better from me as a partner, father and a leader. This is not who I am.

I cannot believe that I have to come out publicly now and admit that I am a fan of Coldplay. Did he say that? No. Oh, that would have been good. He should have ended with look, relationships. Nobody said it was easy. Well, he does go for a little bit of that gym because he writes, I won't

express how troubling it is. What was it? So this is him throwing shade at the band, right? Like, I know I'm having the affair, but Chris Martin's out of line. He goes, that was a cold play. That it's troubling that what should have been a private moment became public without my consent. I respect artists and entertainers, but I hope we can all think more deeply about the impact of turning someone else's

life into a spectacle. As a friend once saying lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you. Right. I don't what's he tried to do there? Yeah. You know, I'm just glad he wasn't, you know, talking about racism or something when, and they were all yellow. And there's nothing something went and they were all yellow. Yeah.

So he's probably going to get forced out of his company for this. He's been put on a, on a permanent leave though. Everyone's diving deep on the wife who has taken, she had the hyphen name and she's removed his part of the case. Like Shay Gilder's Alexander, the basketball player, right? So his mother was a Gilder's and his father was an Alexander or vice versa. That's look at that stage. I'm just like, Oh, you name the bloody kids then.

Because, because what happens if Shay Gilder's Alexander meets another headstrong woman who wants to have her last name on the name. So then she'll be, he'll, she'll be, uh, Karen Gilders, Alexander Davidson or something. Yeah. Smithe Westcott. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what are we doing here? What are we doing here?

It's too, too much. But anyway, I had an idea for that. Actually, what do you think of this instead of taking the wife, like the man's name immediately, like your mother's maiden name was full to the. What full to the brim. You know what's what would be your whole name then full full to the gil full to the gil. I say I go fuck. I'm sorry I just thought you were you were making some sexually explicit remark about

my mother. I was thinking my. No, I and your mother's maiden name was filled full of cum. That's what I thought you were going to. That's your usual sort of. I like your mother. the We sit and so we don't have to line up. Bonnie blue should have had a deli system. Shouldn't she? Shouldn't she have had a deli system where you just take a number, the number comes up and then you, cause I think they all stood in line. Well, I have seen her pussy. It does look like old Bologna. So I understand she is serving up some cold cuts down there.

I think people get, you see that they reckon that she used to be a boy and they posted a picture of her. I'm on a, I'm on a Bonnie blue talk band. My girlfriend says we talk about it too much. What me and you or you and her. No, you and I, she's like, it's every week. And I was like, yeah, cause it's a woman getting fucked by a thousand dudes. I'm sorry.

That stands out. We need a hobby. It's, it's so hard as grown men to find things that you actually agree on that you can talk about and then women aren't happy with that. I know it's okay. Here's my system. It's like my wife keeps on talking about love island. I don't get angry. All I talk about is the snake, the movie, him coming out and Bonnie blue. I'm not a bad dude. No, you like what you're like. I saw him. We can go back to this. We'll jump back.

I saw him. Would you, would you think this system works? I just want to say how good him is. He was really good. Go check it out. It deserves its own segment. Okay. We'll talk about it in a second.

Let's not wedge it in. I can't like talk about what happened in the movie, but I was like, I tell you Marlon Wade's Tyreek Withers, uh, a class actors, proper, proper, like Oscar winning performance in these movies. I don't know if they're winning or not or anything like that, but they act, they're fucking out saying, yeah, with us. You haven't set this up right. So what Jim was talking about, by the way, is his movie that he's in. It's not my movie. I'm just in the movie. But you're acting in a movie. Here you go and watch it. And anyone who's friends with Jim would know that he's been extraordinary, full of anxiety because he thought I might be shit in this. Yeah, but I don't want, I don't watch myself. I didn't watch legit until it was all done and

dusted. I never, I, I don't really watch, I don't really watch myself if I can avoid it. But most of the things that I mean, like my standard special, I got to watch it to see, you know, check the laughter and all that type of stuff and check it out and make sure, you know, which take you're going to use and all that type of stuff. But I, um, I, I was nervous to see the film. I'm okay in it. I don't, you know, I'm not going to hurt you or anything, but I'm telling you Tyreke and, and Marlon, Hey plus, and this is a movie, uh, about an NFL football player and it's about taking hits to the head, right?

That in broad strokes. Yes. There's some mystical stuff going on there. You know what it is? It's a, it's a monkey poor productions movie, man. Justin Tipping did an amazing job on it as well. It's like visually it's stunning. It's like, and at the end of the film, the credits roll up and you're like this fucking hell. And then you do, I was still processing it for a couple of days after it. It didn't leave me this movie. Yeah.

I'm really happy to be part of it anyway. So Bonnie blue. Now we've moved on from Bonnie blue. I'm speaking of movie stuff. I'm out of, I'm out of, stuff. I'm out of it. I'm out of it. Do you reckon she watches her footage back or she's like this? I don't think there's enough time in the day.

Oh God. No, there's too much come on that eyeball. I hate watching myself. I'm so derivative. At the end of the day, all I'm doing is Jenna Jamison, you know, with a different accent. Yeah. Like, all right. I get a whole lot of loads of the day, all I'm doing is Jenna Jamison, you know, with a different accent. Yeah. Like, all right.

I get a whole lot of loads of the face. That's cool. I'll be honest. I like myself in the being pissed on scene. I thought that was good, but the rest of it, not my best work. Anyway. Hello, Annika. I'm just getting a text message from her.

She can feel this in the force. He's bored of that material. Well, until the podcast catches onto the amount of subscribers we want, we have to do Bonnie blue. Is there anything else you wish to discuss about the Coldplay Kiss cam? Are there any other legendary got caught cheating because the same week it was Conor McGregor. I just watched the Brett Fav five documentary and there was like that, that girl that, um, he sent him, kept on sexting and sending pictures of his dick

and she never even responded to him. He was just like, she worked for the team as a color corner. And she was like, same thing with Pamela Anderson. There's been people who have been caught on those cameras, jumbotrons and made a career out of it. Right. So Pamela Anderson was just at a football game in Canada and everyone was like, did you see that blonde girls?

She was something else. Hey, Oh, local product. Hey. And, uh, and then she was like famous the next day. All the radio stations were like, did it, did anyone see that girl at the football game and that's what she launched. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You can see the footage. She was, yeah, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong's what she launched. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can see the footage. She was nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with Pamela Anderson. I you know what? That's that's you got to give it. Yeah. Local, local Canadian produce. You got it. You got to give it up.

Food coloring in America at sporting matches. You do notice less of that now. But growing up when you'd watch the cricket, the channel nine cameramen, cause it's, you know, it's not the most exciting game test match cricket. Half their job was to find big tits in the crowd. Oh, during the world, during the world cup, all the world cup, that Croatian woman has a big career now. The world cup. They're like this, Portugal's playing Sweden and I'll be like, and boys are we upstairs in my room with the door knocked. I like to watch football. That is the guy that I quite a defensive game here at the Blue

Fontaine stadium and now, Oh, look at that Croatian girl. She seems to be having a wonderful time. Look at that ball bouncing around there. And then they go, what do we think folks? Do we like the Croatians? Oh, look at the Spanish. Now I do love the hips of a Spanish lass because they know the American channel just cannot handle defensive football.

They got to go. When I, I was in Munich and I saw Australia versus Brazil, right. And nothing against the Australian women. I've been very fond of Australian women over the courts. I came out of one. So, you know, I'm not anti. Um, but, uh, so the Australian Jersey and the Brazilian Jersey is very close in color, like it's almost the same gold color as each other.

It's just like, if you, if you went down to, to Home Depot, it would be a color tag apart, right? Anyway. So, so you saw all these women, Brazilian women, all these Australian women wearing basically the same Jersey, but it was easy to tell them apart. I tell you what the Australian girls who had traveled out there were drinking beers, going back and I don't know what it's like over here. The sausage is too big. Yeah. They're wearing zinc on their eyes.

Yeah. We're in Australia like green and gold zinc underneath their things. And they're fucking, well, I want to come out and see the Matilda's more than anything. Right. They're doing that. And then the Brazilian girls were fucking summering down the road. I was a hell of a show. I don't even remember the game. Well, I was, I was, I was going to say the Conor McGregor situation

this week is the actual big story. What's happening? Conor McGregor. Well, you know, he's just always cheating on his wife and people are like, D devil and she's just, Was he at the Coldplay concert? He was not at the Coldplay concert. Dude, he was just making out with like some regular tubby woman at a beach club.

Just like a passerby. Yeah. The Irish, they look, it might've been tubby to you, but to an Irish man, she was some fine American beef. Where was he? But I think it was down in like Miami or something. I don't know where it was, but then his wife just keeps on taking the hits. She's just happy with the lifestyle she has, I guess.

And she's like, she was celebrating his birthday. And then the next day, this other scandal comes out, which is Azalea Banks, the rapper, leaked his dick. She put the next day, this other scandal comes out, which is Azalea Banks, the rapper leaked his dick. She put out his dick pic. Azalea Banks put out Azalea Banks. I don't ask me why, but they've been sexting since 2016. I can't talk about it, but she's a, she's not a, she's not a good egg.

The old Azalea. She's no good. But anyway, and the reason I know, wait, cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause cause of Azalea. So you know good. But anyway, you got Dave Chappelle who is Azalea Banks in something. And now you've got Conor McGregor who is Azalea Banks says about something. Why would anyone go near Azalea Banks? Well, I mean, you know, she's, she's obviously they find her very, very attractive. She's not a bad looking girl.

They've been sexting for years and then he sent her a picture of his dick and wrote, don't be a rat. Yeah, but there's not, there's not a fucking K there's not a good looking guy who shags famous women and then tells the world, I just shag whatever famous woman. And then the other famous women are like, I'll still give her a go. Give him a go. Like this is ridiculous. It's just funny because she's a rat. She is a fucking what she did to Dave Chappelle.

And now what she's doing to this guy. It's like, just get a boyfriend. Then there's a date and married man and just. Like Conor McGregor one month ago was like talking to Tucker Carlson, like Tucker, we need me to be the president. I'm going to take over. Or you'll end up becoming a fucking president. We need, he was wearing the suit. He was like, I'm going to take over or you'll end up becoming the fucking president we need.

He was wearing the suit. He was like, I'm going to launch a presidential campaign. And then one month later, he's sexting a rapper and making out with a waitress on a Miami beach. I think, I think his political career lasted as long as Mal Meninga. I think, I think, yeah, I think he's sexting a rapper and probably not even wearing a rapper with her. And she's the least safe bank in town.

I'm telling you. Other than the West. Yeah. She's better than well Fargo about five years ago. She's a better bank than that, but not, not, not by much. Yeah. All right. So some more scandals that we can discuss this week is, uh, LaMina Mal. I don't know if you know LaMia Mal, but he's the wonder kid.

17 year old wonder kid, uh, his sports cards, his rookie card goes about four or five grand now. So it's like, yeah, place for Barcelona, Spain. Unbelievable. He has fallen into some trouble this week. He celebrated his birthday and he's been having quite a wild time. He's notoriously hanging out with a lot of ladies. He's been partying hard as a young athlete would.

And then to celebrate his birthday, he wanted to get some dwarfs. Yeah. To party. Yeah. Yeah. And the problem is a lot of the farms, you can't farm them anymore because, um, ice rates. So what did you just try to get them in the wild?

It says the association of people with achondroplasia, which is an association for people with dwarfism in Spain. There's about 200 different types of dwarfism. It's quite a complex thing. So this association that looks after their interests has said here that they are taking legal action against Lamina mile for his hiring of dwarf entertainers for his birthday party. And when I looked at this, this is, tell me if this is a fair analogy.

I think these dwarf societies that try and shut down dwarfs going to parties to be used as bowling balls or whatever's going on, it's a little bit like, it's the same as the women who say that women shouldn't be prostitutes. I was like, it's like, it's like feminist groups banning grid girls. Yes. Oh, I was, I, I was at, I was at the Just For Last Comedy Festival and I won comedian of the year, right. And there always used to be a girl, not like dressed in a bikini or anything, a

girl, a pretty woman in a ball gown would hand you the trophy. And when I got it, right. When I got it, it was a guy in a tuxedo. Now they'd had the same girl doing the job every year, every year. But then Hannah Gatsby won the award before me and she was like, I don't think it's right that these people do these things and I think that we should have a true representation of everybody. Right. So she, she did that and they got, so that kind of a lesbian gets rid have a true representation of everybody. Right.

So she, she did that and they got, so that kind of a lesbian gets rid of a beautiful woman giving you a trophy. That girl lost her job. Like you can, you can have the bloke in the tuxedo then if you bloody wanted to. And also he was still good looking. It wasn't like they gave me an Ugo. It just like they went from one good looking person to another good looking person.

Why couldn't have a dwarf given me the award? I would have been as happy with as that with a handsome guy in a fucking tuxedo. Anyway, I would employ them for award giving. Because obviously the dwarf community feels that we don't want you doing this. This is demeaning to us. They're little and underwhelmed. For you to be thrown as a dart or whatever. You know what I mean?

Like they were doing. I agree it is demeaning, but it is still at the end of the day. It's up to the person who does it. Is it, is it illegal if the, if the person wants to do it, there's, there's, there's people in sex clubs who have been pissed and shit on and that's what they want in life, not me. I wouldn't do both of those things. Um, but, but if the, if the little, the dwarf wants to do it, I understand.

Okay. So whenever you see like a bad Australian comedian, right. And they're up there going, you say this and we say that, no, you know, what else is weird, like that, right? Whenever you're seeing that. We ride kangaroos. Yeah. As an Australian, you go, you're making it harder for me.

Now I'm sure for a good hardworking dwarf who's trying to grow in the business, a bad choice of words there, we're trying to, trying to build up their rep to come up in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Who working in entertainment and then like, I'm an actor. Like I'm sure Peter Dinklage looks at the bowling ball dwarf and goes, what are you doing?

He doesn't even, he doesn't even let them do the dwarfs in Snow White. So he's particularly, yeah, I know. He's taken all the dwarfs out of the business. Back in Willy Wonka, the Wonka, you got Hugh Grant doing dwarf face. He's doing dwarf face. He's not meant to have that job. That job is meant to go to a dwarf. Right?

So they've taken away all their jobs in movies and cinema and television, all types of stuff. And now a lot of the work they get is just bowling ball work. So, so if anything, if anyone should be blamed, it's the Hollywood elite. Like for pushing them into this area. Yes. I'm sure none of the dwarfs in the Wizard of Oz were used as darts. Were they?

They were respected as nunchkins. Yeah. in the Wizard of Oz were used as darts, were they? They were respected as nunchkins. Yeah. There's a guy right now in Spain putting on goggles and doing a tuck. And he's like, fucking dinklage. He's getting rolled down an alley. I was meant to be dopey. Yeah. Fucking dinklage.

I was cast in the new time bandits and they got rid of all the dwarfs and time bandits. This is what I have to do now. How dare they? Anyway, so what did he, what did, uh, what did the football player make? Why he's just getting publicly. What did the little people, what did they haven't said? Like what they were, they just said as entertainment and I'm immediately thinking

bowling darts. Like, let's have a look. I'll try and Google some more. It's just backlash. Here we go. Al Jazeera.com. Baseline of Starface's backlash. I know Al Jazeera is a proper news outlet, but every time I hear it, I go, what are they

up to? Oh, it's right there. The news out there. It does sound like an organization. It doesn't say Al Jazeera took responsibility. Yeah. It's your responsibility for the dwarfs being thrown off the thing. And you'd be like, Oh, well, I guess they're not going to get a political message. Like, okay. If you came, if you came to my birthday party and I said, I'm having a big bash and you came with the, you came with the wife. I don't want to go there. and I said, I'm having a big bash. You came with the wife. Right. I don't want to go there. And I go, yeah, man, it's going to be great.

We've got a surprise at 10 PM as well. And then it was just a troop of dwarfs. And I gave, and they was, they sort of went in there and they were just sort of wrestling each other and I don't know, doing sword fights or just general, uh, Disney shit. Yeah. Would you be like, that's not cool, man. Or would you go, well, they're getting, and I'm like, no, I've paid him.

I would, I would say it's not cool. I'd say, no, it's not a cool thing. Look, I work with disabled people in the JIT. We had people there with, with dwarfism and stuff like that. I'm friends with Brad Williams. I I've I've, um, uh, Tanya Lee Davis. So I've known a lot of, uh, dwarfs through standup comedy in my life. And I've seen, you know, look, it's gotta be a hard life.

It can't be fucking easier, right? You gotta have empathy for people who go through that. And I think it is demeaning to make them do jobs for our pleasure or to see them as not human. What's worse that or stripping? for our pleasure or to see them as not human. But what's worse that or stripping? See this is the thing because if they're in on the joke and it's not demeaning, like I wouldn't, I don't mind a couple of them falling out of a clown car.

I'm all for that. Right. I'm all, I'm all for that. It has to be a routine. It's like a troop. They've got a show. Exactly. If they're an impersonator, if there was one that looked like me and you shut up

my party and it was like me, but as a little person and could sort of say the word, can't really authentic. Like it is a cooking demonstration from the one that looks like Ramsey. No, cause I don't want to buy a little foot stool because then I have to keep that around the house the whole time. Cooking is the wrong way. They have their own special kitchens and I don't want to impede on that. Okay. So you would say it is a bad reflection on Laminia Mal that he is doing that.

I am, you immediately think Wolf of Wall Street bad person. Yeah. But if you've got them doing the meaning things, but if say, okay, let's say you're a little, let's say you're a dwarf and you want to play soccer, right? You'd have to play with other doors and make a team. Right. Because that's the only way that you could play on an equal. I think legally a midget, but I got an even playing field,

whether you're all little people, right? Here's one for you. If a male little person transitions into a female little person, are they allowed to do sports? I feel like that's got to be the great equalizer, right? They could do women's sports. They they've been a man who's become a woman, but they're still three foot tall. What's your, I'm sorry.

I'm just, I'm just thinking my conservative brain's just trying to run that through a lot of filters. I'm like, where am I getting angry with this? I guess it's still not okay. If I was getting the surgery, I was a dwarf transitioning into a female, a female dwarf. I'd also go, I also identify as tall. Bring on the stilts. You can break the legs if you want it enough.

Yeah, not to that height, not to that height. How much can you gain from the leg break surgery? Because my mum told me she wanted to do that to me when I was young and I'm only, I'm five 11, five 10, I'm five nine. But you were never good. Yeah. You're five nine. Are you five nine?

No, I'm 178 centimeters. What's that? I think that's like five 10. What, uh, what size shoe? I'm 177. I lied again. I don't know why. Not because I'm 182 or something centimeters.

You're not, you're not that at all. What, uh, what size shoe are you? I'm an 11. You see, I got, I'm six foot and I got size 10 feet. I got a little tiny feet. Yeah. I've got that. I got nice, I'm like Slavic lows, heavy.

So I'm getting fucking, I'm just heavy, thick. I'm so close to being a big fat. When someone says to you, you're my rock. They literally made it that they just anyway. So find out what did he actually do to them? I, they haven't, they haven't released it because the dwarves themselves don't seem to be pissed off about it. They're just saying you're taking us back to the middle ages with birthday parties like this, like you're some kind of King and you're using your money

to demean people, even though they need it in an economy like this, they don't really want to be doing that kind of work. Yeah. Which is hard to disagree with. But if you, what I was going to say is if you got, if you got like, you know, 30 or so of them and like with reserves and everything like that, and he had them playing a soccer game, Would have that been bad? Yeah.

Really? I reckon that's all right that way because then they get to compete. They get, no, that's just, I'm sorry, but then it's, if that's sort of just, you're not looking after your guests then. Cause that's just boring. They still have to be. All right. You have two of them and they're jousting.

Now that's what I'm talking about. Jousting is no good. No, I think that's right. They're on ponies. Yeah. Little Shetlands. Yeah. They're at Shetlands.

We call it Shetland jousting. They've just got a regular javelin under their armpit and off they go. You have two, they have two metal rulers, a Shetland pony. Yeah. And they run at each other. There's nothing wrong with that. As far as I'm concerned. Yeah, you'd see that. Like if you've each other. There's nothing wrong with that. As far as I can see that.

Like if you've got, if you've got the land space, what I wanted to ask you is, is you've gone to more parties with people who have money than I have. I know. So I, you know, I, I, I had my friends don't do this because we don't have the money to just go, let's get dwarfs. Like we're better. My friends barely cater. If you're asking me if I've ever purchased a dwarf, I have not. I have not, not in any way.

What is the most extravagant thing you've ever purchased for a party? For me, I've had party organizers where I've had, you know, I've had, I've had waiters with hors d'oeuvres and bartenders in my house. That's pretty fancy. Bouncy castle. Bouncy castles. They're cheap. I can get a bouncy castle on a Sunday just for fun. with hors d'oeuvres and bartenders in my house. That's pretty fancy. Bouncy castle. Bouncy castles,

they're cheap. I could get a bouncy castle on a Sunday just for fun. Yeah, they're nothing. They bring them in the morning, they take away at night. You never even see the person. It just appears. Love the bouncy castle. What else have you hired? Have you ever hired an entertainer, a singer, a dancer, strippers? No, I haven't. I haven't. Oh, I've hired a stripper for a bachelor party. Yeah. Yeah. For my brother's bachelor party back in the day, I ordered, I hired a stripper. So there you go.

When I was new to comedy, I got, I had a, uh, She didn't know it at the time, but I kept on offering more money. I had an agency. I had a, an agent that got me to do bachelor parties for blokes. And the package was you get a stripper and a comedian. Oh, I've been involved in things like that. Yeah. Yeah.

So I would get sent out to these parties and it was me and whatever stripper they would get and they knew that they will get in the stripper. They didn't know they'll get in the comedian. So I've meant to come out, do some gags, roast the guy getting married. And then I'm like, here's your stripper. And there is no worse crowd than a group of like 50 hammered men who are huddling in a circle and they think a stripper is about to come out. And then I'm walking out and I'm like, Qantas isn't as good as it used to be.

Isn't it guys? They got these land acknowledgements now. What do you land? What's that? Oh, Nam. Oh, what's that? Vietnam? Like I'm just eating shit. And then I will never forget this chant I had. these land acknowledgements now with your land. What's that? Oh, Nam. What's that? Vietnam.

Like I'm just eating shit. And then I will never forget this chant I had. I was doing a footy club gig and they go, we, we want the pussy. We, we. Yeah, you cut out the microphone. We just want. Your microphone knew you were being an idiot then.

Okay, go ahead. No, that was their chant was. Yeah, we want the pussy. As I'm doing my, we want the pussy. Cause I'm doing moments of we, we want the pussy. This guy's, we don't want cock. We want pussy son. Get the pussy on. And he goes, how much do they pay you to do comedy?

I said, $800. This guy gives me an extra 200. He goes, that makes it a grand to stop. And then the stripper came out and I've never seen anything like this. This is what they did. They every boy, she walked it out. She has the same walk-on song to you. She walks out the Acca Dacca.

So she comes out there with a bag and every single dude who was there. Name was put into a hat. I remember. And she pulled a name out of the hat. And that was the guy that she was going to do the show on. And they pulled out the club treasurer who was like 82 years old. Yeah. You cut out for a second there, 82 years old. And so this old fella just gets brought into a chair in a circle at a footy club. And I'm really young. I'm 19 and I'm very sheltered at this point. I was like, oh, this looks like a tough environment. I was thinking

as a performer to walk in there. And I said, I'm saying to her, Jesus, they're pretty rough. This crowd's pretty rough. You're gonna go, right? She's like, it's not rough when you actually make them happy. She slams me. Okay. And then she gets him down these 80 and she just starts doing her dance on him. And she's putting the tits in the face and then she gets strawberries and cream from Alan's those, you know, those candies. Yeah. Those little, no, they don't.

They little gummies, um, in Australia for kids, not like weed gummies, but like a little, like a Haribo thing. Yeah. And then she gets like a handful of them and she puts them in her ass and this 82 year old man gets down on his knees and eats the man of her ass. His glasses are completely fogged. And I'm just watching this old tongue, like a tongue, like a giraffe coming out and he's slobbering around and his fucking, his like grandkids

are there who play for the footy club and they're like, yeah, pops getting involved. This is a Northern suburbs of Adelaide football club. And for me, I remember watching like, I'm just amazed the girl puts on such a good show. I gotta give her credit where credit's due. She could have just danced around to pour some sugar on me and call it a fucking day. I know. And I'm sitting there in the back and she's doing the vegetables and everything. And I'm just in the green room at this point with my notes, like working on like, how could have I got them

better? You know what I mean? Like, I'm doing this, I'm trying to write green room at this point with my notes, like working on like, how could have I got them better? You know what I mean? Like I'm doing this. I'm trying to write new jokes or this woman's getting lollies eaten out of her ass. There's a, there was a, one of the comedy clubs in Britain on a Monday, there was a comedian and I'm not going to say who, but there's a comedian. It was his bucks night. So all the comedians had the night off. So like 80 male comedians show up to this, uh, to this, to the, and there was two strippers and

they put out a little runway thing for them in the com. Oh, they let them dance in the comedy stage and we had the bachelor party there. And that was, that was the thing. Right. So Mike Wilmot, who is, um, who's a fantastic comedian from Canada, uh, does dick jokes, you know, Mike, right? Yep. Mike's Mike's killer. He's one of those guys. You don't want to go on after Mike, Mike dick jokes, you know, Mike, right? Mike's Mike's killer.

He's one of those guys. You don't want to go on after Mike, Mike Wilmot, very good comedian. And so Mike Wilmot's there. And, uh, one of the, one of the strippers she's dancing around. She takes, she takes his glasses off him and she puts one arm of the glasses up her asshole and the other arm in her pussy. And then she, she puckers the glasses. So they go like this.

She pulls them out. She licks the arms. She puts the glasses back on his face and the glasses are all crooked. And he goes, I'm sure that was wonderful, but I couldn't see a thing. All I remember after that was how good she did with that crowd. And then she got an envelope for like four grand. She did worth every cent. And we, and we were parting ways.

And I said, what are you doing now? And she goes, I got three more of these tonight. It's like, she's made like 12 grand in a night. And it's just to basically go around and get men to eat vegetables out of her. But that's the whole thing. She's putting on a show that's, that's in many ways harder than being an escort where you're just having sex with a person.

There's an audience. A hundred percent. Like, like there's a lot of people who are very good looking, have amazing bodies, but can they put on a show? You know what I mean? I look, hats off to anyone who works in the adult business as an entertainer, it's, I couldn't do it in any great way. It's a difficult job.

That's what I was saying. I remember, you know, I was quite judgmental. I was like, Oh, I fucking couldn't do that. Like that's just great task, but I got 800 bucks. Yeah. So you, you were, you were back in your hotel room, shoving candies up your ass. I'll going, I reckon I can turn this into a career. My dignity for what I consider my dignity is, was worth $3,200 more.

That's that was where my, my line was at, but I didn't know that how much these people are making cash in hand undeclared. You know, you've declared it now. I do declare, I do declare, but every time I see these parties,, you've declared it now. I do declare, I do declare, but every time I see these parties, like you've been the act for a party, you're the filthy act that they would. Yes. I've, I've been invited for private parties. I've done weddings.

I once did a, like, uh, a, uh, a girl's 21st birthday when I was like 26 or something like that, 25, 26 or something. I was the act. And then as I was leaving the f*****g dad went to me, he goes, if you could dance with my daughter, but I said, I've actually got a girlfriend and I haven't started to

go, he's slipping another 200 pounds. I went, all right, I'll go dance with the kids. These are hard times to get the money. I was over the moon. I remember there was like an Elvis impersonator, there was a magician. No, there was a Frank Sinatra impersonator, a magician. And then I had to tell jokes.

It was just a rich kid in the north of England. It was like, but it was something else. It's cause standups change so much. There's so much, you know, it's such a different art form. Now there's so much art involved to it and criticism, literary criticism. And there was no art involved. The past was there. You next generation. We've all taken it to the next level. involved to it and criticism, literally criticism. And there was no art involved that the past was there.

You next generation. We've all taken it to the next level and there's just been. No, no, I'm saying it's like, I've always seen stand up for what it is, which is it is a, it's a foot in both camps. And there's certain comedians who are famous now where I still have this bigotry in my head to them where I go, you couldn't go on after a fruit and veg show. You're not a real, you know what I mean? you couldn't go on after a fruit and veg show. You're not a real comic. You know what I mean? You couldn't go on after a fruit and veg show. Yeah. There's comics. I'm like,

they're good. Could they go on after a fruit and veg? That's my, like, I'm watching a guy on a stool. I couldn't go on after a fruit and veg either. There's a few comics who could do it. You need like, I reckon earthquake could do it, you know, you need to be punchy You could come out after a fruit and veg early on in my career when I had a bit more fire in me belly I probably could have gone out after fruit and veg now I'm to set me ways if I saw a fruit and veg before me now just be like, oh, well, you had a good show boys Yeah, that is what are you? What are you scared of following Amos Dave Chappelle? Nah, man, a courgette.

Could you imagine Dave Chappelle shoving candies up his ass and eating it? Now that would fucking, if he's already just doing that with his comedy, he's killing like, imagine how good he would be if he could do fruit and veg on top of it as a closer, even as an opener. Even when you're in the arts at any, at any art, you are just purchasable by a billionaire. And I'm going to, I swear, I'm going to link this to another topical story that we want to discuss.

Okay. So whether you're a dwarf dancing, uh, as a bowling ball or whatever, at a rich soccer players party, whether you're a comedian and you're doing a corporate gig or you're working for a network, Many of us are at the behest, like medieval jesters to dance for the wealthy people that pay us, right? We have many, many bosses, yes. And so, I mean, my best gig I ever had was a billionaire's wife contacted me and said, my husband likes your stand up and it's his 50th birthday. We're going to pay you $15,000,

which for me was enormous amount of money to roast him. Here's his best friend's phone number, call them up and get some information. So I call all these friends that day and they give me a few details on him. Oh, he'll be crooked. He is. Yeah. Oh, he says stupid things all the time. And ask him about Zurich. Ask him about Zurich.

Yeah. Ask him, ask him. He got fucking smashed drunk or what happened. Oh, he was just, he couldn't say a word. Fucking vomited. Didn't he? So they, they were putting on a $2 million birthday party for him in Sydney. And I was in LA at the time.

They booked me flights to 15 grand and he called me right as I was getting on the plane. And he goes, Amos, this is blah, blah, blah. I go, Oh mate. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm excited to see it. And he goes, yeah, don't get on the plane. I've just found out about this birthday party that there's a comedian.

My friends, he goes, I don't get roasted. That's not for me. He goes, the money will be in your account. Don't get on the fucking plane. What's, what's his cunts name so we can do it right now. Nah, well that's not roasting the poor bastard. But there was the greatest gig I've ever had. What, what's his company? Thin Skin Industries?

His name was, I think I'm getting this right, Jeffrey? Nugent. Epstein. Epstein. No, he was a building magnate and there was no greater feeling to me than realizing I don't have to go and do that because I was going to, I was going to buy. I had a corporate at Christmas where all the comedians were doing really badly. And then I was there and everyone was doing badly and they said, well, just pay. Yeah.

You don't have to go up. And then another comedian who shall not be named, called me a pussy and said, I can do the gig, the gigs easy. You just have to know how to perform these gigs. You're not, you're not a road warrior like me, he told me off. And then the cunt went up there and died a horrible fucking death. Horrible. So I did the right thing. I was like, thank you. I, I, not only did I take the money and not do the gig, but I stayed for the food. Well, yeah, they're paying you might as

well mingle. I didn't mingle. I just sat in the back room going, I hear there was going to be a meal. So the reason I bring this up also, this is my link point is all comedians are working for someone in this business. Yes. Even the ones that are free-minded for the most part, we have a paymaster. And this week, Stephen Colbert. Yeah, Colbert. Had his show, but not just his show.

The late show made famous by David Letter, has been wound up by CBS. They're finishing next year. And there's a lot of talk that this has come out in the wash where Donald Trump has sued CBS for the 60 minute situation. CBS also has a merger going through with Paramount. They think this is a bit of a deal where it's like, Hey, I'll sign off on the merger. You pay me the 16 million and also piss off that Colbert who's been a real thorn in my side and now Colbert has come out the other end of that.

That's what I would say is the left wing of America's talking point about the Colbert sacking. That's I agree with it, by the way. I agree with what you said. I think that Donald Trump made him get rid of his show. Yep. I think that's a real thing. And I think it's very, I think it's a very dangerous thing as well. That like, this is like the quieting the media for all the people who say, oh,

you shouldn't say he's like Hitler. When can we? He's trying, he's trying to bake anyone who speaks out against him. Where, where, where is festival? Where is the evidence of that? I've got, look, I'm no, I'm no huge, Stephen Colbert, I did the show. He didn't seem to like me very much. I'm not, I'm not, you know, I'm not here to wank off Stephen Colbert.

Are we honestly in a position now? I'm reading all the media of this. First of all, it's such a great cope for Stephen to go out like the administration shut me down. No dude, you're a part of what we call the old media. No one watches late night anymore. It's a wonderful way to sail off in the sunset. The truth, and these are facts is Stephen Convair gets $16 million a year on a show

that loses CBS 40 to $50 million annually. Name me a job where you get paid $16 million a year to lose money for your boss year after year where you stay around. Why would you ever be kept in that job? Bowling bulldwarf. This is all I'm saying. And it's like, think about this. It's a, the Colbert show has 200 staff.

How many viewers do they get? Well, at least those 200, we go home and watch it because they have to check. And then they tell a couple of friends, hold on. I'm thinking about 17. and watch it because they have to check. And then they tell a couple of friends, hold on. I'm thinking about, I'm going to say 716,042. That's not bad. What does the snake get?

The snake, the snake, the snake does very well at Hulu. But this is the thing, right? It was, we all know late nights coming to the end. It's sad. Like I was the biggest Conan fan. My, I think the snake does more than that. My financial being my girlfriend works for Kimmel. What's the number giving me the number?

You can't just say, give us a number and then go to girlfriend works for Kimmel. I think you didn't have the fucking digits on this. No, I had the, how much it makes. So you're saying it loses 40 million. Colbert rated higher than, than Fallon, then Fallon. Yes. No, I don't believe that. I believe does he, he does.

Yeah. Late show with Stephen Colbert gets a total number right now must be in his writers room like this. Oh God. Yeah. Faggot. What game should we play? You wouldn't be giggling as much as normal.

I'll tell you who got out of it. Well, James Corden quit at the right time. You know, he had a house in the Palisades. Corden had a house in the Palisades. Right. Right. And he left and went back to Britain where everyone's like, we don't want him back. He's like, Oh no, I want my kids to go to school in England. Ooh. And then his house burnt down and he left late night because the writings on the wall, as you said, for all late night. But I do believe, okay. Let me say, the wall, as you said, for all late night.

But I do believe, okay. Let me say, how many like, really is Stephen Colbert? Is Stephen Colbert really, is he the thorn in the side of the administration? There's not way more. Are you saying there's no other shows on American television or the internet? You don't think there's more of this to come? Yeah. I think, I think all of old media is winding down cause it's not profitable.

They don't give a fuck about what the administration says. They don't make money anymore. And for a hundred million dollars to put on a tonight show, dude, we get no viewers. We get 50,000, but to do this, we have two zoom feeds and Jack. Yeah. And we get 50,000. Why would a big company who realizes you have to go to streaming now, continue to pay for something just because it was once iconic?

Yes. But it's, it's, it something just because it was once iconic. Yes. But it's, it's, it's, if it was making money, sure. Yeah. But it's something that looks good on your schedule that gives your channel a bit of gloss and shine and all that stuff. The problem is with the late night show is you go on there now, you've prepared something really funny to say, but you are always going to be funnier on a podcast when someone's interviewing you and you know, you don't have two, four

minutes and 70 seconds or whatever. That would be five minutes and 10 seconds, but you know, you don't have an exact amount of time that you have to get your story out. And, um, yeah, it's a better interview listening to someone on a podcast that people will be more personal on a podcast as well. And they won't be as conscious or they might slip up or whatever like that. So like Stephen Colbert is not just, dude, Stephen Colbert is, is complete establishment.

It's like the Tucker Carlson is more dangerous to Donald Trump. Tucker Carlson's attacks on the administration are way more potent than anything that Stephen Colbert is doing or the young, okay. So, okay. So let's say, let's say, let's say we lose, we lose Kimmel. We lose Fallon. Do you think if Gutfeld's the only show left standing, would you then concede? Would you then go, Oh yeah, maybe, maybe Trump is involved.

Well, I think Gutfeld, I think Gutfeld works because they get ratings and they spend no fucking money on it. As the jokes on the show would attest, there's not a big writers room on that. It doesn't, you know, I think itfeld works because they get ratings and they spend no fucking money on it as the jokes on the show would attest There's not a big writers room on there. It doesn't you know, I think it's cheap. They bring comedians on to be funny I'd be on Gutfeld. I have no problem with Gutfeld. Yeah, I just think ultimately That I couldn't believe that everyone was saying this is so politically motivated It was politically motivated to keep those shows on all those shows did for the best part of 10 years was be like Trump, Trump sucks, orange man bad. I would argue many of them made Donald Trump more popular because they fucking

what absolutely waned on about it every night to the point where it was like you've killed the fun of these tonight shows as an escape. Okay. Also, okay. Let's not, let's not minimalize all the bullshit that Trump does. Right. Trump is an unprecedented precedent. Right.

We haven't seen a person like this running a country ever who just says bat shit, crazy shit all the time. Silvio Belascone was Trump before Trump. No one knows about the great man from Italy. But you get what I'm saying. It's like, well, I used to do the Jim Jeffries show and I had a rule in the writer's room was don't bring up Trump unless it's necessary. Cause people would be like, we'd do another story about something and you go,

and that's like Trump's hair or he's orange tan. I'd go, no, don't bring up Trump unless it's vital to the story. And he was vital to so many stories. He's he, he can't just go, Oh, these people didn't shut up about him trap. Whether you think he's a genius who engineered this or not, but I, who goes on rallies and just fucking spouse, we used to get into George W. Bush because he'd go like this. The left doesn't know what the right's doing.

And we go, Oh, he got the hands wrong. Fucking moron. And he's saying nuclear weird. You know what I mean? Like that was all we had. Now we've got a guy who's just f*****g he's eating cats and dogs. And then you're like, Oh, and he's just lying all the time. And you're like, Oh, it's because these people brought him up all the time and they didn't shut up about him.

I admit, I think CNN had more to do with getting Trump in because they started like crossing over to anytime he did a rally and it was just not screen time. But the comedians, what are you meant to do with getting Trump in because they started like crossing over to anytime he did a rally. And it was just not screen time, but the comedians, what are you meant to do? I think that Donald Trump has been detrimental to my career because I've talked to everyone's stage and I've alienated some of my fans or whatever. You know, it was a massive fatigue culturally on it as well. Yeah. Yeah.

I, I wish the guy had sailed off to the sunset. We could be talking about something else. But that's why so many people like Conan. Cause Conan Conan stayed away from four years, you know, Conan Conan tried to keep it silly and did, you know, sort of weird sketch stuff and, you know, make it an escapism, like every comedian administration down Conan didn't have an opportunity because the show was ending. That's a good point, but not for the first administration.

All right, everybody. We have from the snake this week, snake Derek North. How you doing, brother? Hey, I'm great. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being on the podcast. This is Amos. Amos, meet Derek.

Derek, meet Amos. Amos, nice to meet you. Thanks for having me. Derek, just before we got on, we were discussing Illinois, where you're from, Naperville, Illinois, my girlfriend's family's from that sort of region. And I think it's my favorite part of America now, the Illinois folk. Are you a Portillo's man? Are you an Italian beef eater?

Is that the King sandwich in the United States? Where do you put it? Well, what we were saying, I think late night between that and the other options, you got to go Portillo's. They got the best late night between that and the other options, you gotta go Portillo's. They got the best late night burger with the fries, get a hot dog for the ride home. You know what I mean? Right.

What about the stupid deep dish pizzas that no one actually eats? Are you into them? They're good here and there on occasion, you know, like celebration. I like the deep dish, but I'm normally a thin crust kind of guy. Yeah. Everyone's a thin crust kind of guy. No one wants a casserole on top of a pie. What it all it is, it is a pie plate in it.

Like, I will say I've traveled enough American out of say, I think it's actually everyone says New York, but for me it's Detroit. I like the Detroit slice. It's the, the right combination. California pizza kitchen till I die. So Derek, you lived in California. Were you a cop that went to LA to be like a TV cop? No, this was before, this was before I became into law enforcement and

cop after college, I moved to LA. I did some like really small, stupid, uh, movies and like, I was working at a, as celebrity bar there, the sunset tower hotel. I saw you at David Spade on your show. I was watching some of your shows to try to research. And he was in like every week. He was, he's a great guy. I was David Spade's the best man.

If people don't know how good David Spade is with the women Google David Spade girlfriends, he was Pete Davidson before social media, before anyone know the man's record is, is the, he's, he's the, I won't even say Mike Tyson because his career ended early, right? He's Muhammad Ali of women. I'm telling you, I was behind the bar and I got to watch the magic. So yeah, hats off to him. I he's about five foot six in there.

My wife gets giddy when she talks to him. She's always like, Oh, he's smooth. He's got it. I'd just like to go on the record for David and say, I, let's not associate him with any way with Mike Tyson and behavior with sexuality. That was a bad example. That was a bad example. In fact, I probably should leave any boxes out of it.

Really? Yeah. My friend is a real ladies man. He's just like, he is the Epstein of today. Am I right? So, so we watched the episode. You were in a bit of a situation at the beginning of the episode. You really were on a bit of an island.

You lost, you lost one of your biggest allies, Pastor Jacob had left. Then the secret thing, each contestant that leaves from here on in gets to give an advantage or a disadvantage to a player. And he gave you the first advantage of the first person with an advantage. Now the advantage, it didn't seem like much, right? So now there was these platforms and they had little tiny say, I must didn't watch the f*****g episode. He hasn't watched the episode.

This is why you just drink water. So on the, on the platforms, they put little tiny obstacles on and your platform didn't have an obstacle. Now for anyone who didn't see the show, there was a platform that I believe we raised at least 50 feet. It was at a minimum. It was high up there. It was really high up. We filmed the show in Argentina. I don't know what the health and safety standards are like in Argentina, because you guys, so you had like a walk the plank thing that happened. You had a platform with like a steel girder that came out at the end of that you had a cord. And if you pulled it, the other person's platform went away

before yours. So if you got it, I think the people who built it thought it would take 30 seconds per person and they'd shuffle along. But our contestants were fierce and everyone just ran and jumped and grabbed the cord. Now, this was no bullshit. 50, 60 feet high. Several people who landed in the water had to like have medical attention. Like people actually came to it. You OK? I think Alyssa thought she'd broken a rib or something. Yeah. She was with medics for like an half an hour.

Yeah. They almost like took her away. It was wild. Now this is also the thing about the snake that people don't understand. It was filmed in Argentina. The river, I believe the name of the river that you jumped in was the Piranha river. Yeah, it was, it was deadly. It was deadly.

All right. So, so you, you know, your days are numbered and correct me if I'm saying anything that you don't agree with. I think you knew your days were numbered unless you became the snake in this challenge. Am I right? There was no question. I had to win a hundred percent. Every Alliance I had was gone.

Everyone else kind of knew I was still a threat. So why not get rid of me next? I was gone if I didn't win. Yeah. And, and who could have won to save you? There's arguably maybe, maybe Amanda could have, or something. She, you know, she wanted to stay out of everyone's, you know, target. She, she would have sent me home too. No question. We have to talk about Amanda at the end.

Amanda's kissing Devante and then, and then she screws over Devante at the end and scream over tells him, you know, it's a game, right? Yeah. She's going to pick him. And then we find out that Amanda has a boyfriend at home and she's just kissing Devante to get through the, I knew she was a Savage and I knew she would probably side with me if I opened up her eyes to it because I'm like if I give you more alliances If you choose Frank and go down that order, that's better than just a Vante and she's a she's lethal You gotta watch out for Amanda. Yeah, she's lethal Amanda guys, right? Yeah, she's she's a competitor

Derek can I ask you if this if you were signing up for this show and it was the squid games Where if you were knocked out in the contest you were killed But the prize money was $10 million. Would have you backed yourself to beat everybody at all the contests? Do you think you're the best player in the game outside of the relationships? Yeah, I think I'm the best, uh, reality show competition player in the world today. There's no question. I'll sign up for a sweet game.

10 million dollars. I'm going, how much would it, how much would it take for you to actually end? If there was an actual squid game where you do die, if you lose and it's a hundred million dollars, would you be in? You had me at a thousand bucks, a hundred million. You're asking the American economy. You're asking the man if he'd be a murderer and you're like, it's tough out there. You got to, Derek was always like, we'd have like, there's an episode coming up. We have to swim through fish guts.

I don't know. We're not going to swim. I'm talking about things. Um, but when these things happened, we were always like, all right, you know, this bad thing, you're gonna have to eat bugs or whatever. Derek was always like, let's go. Everyone else like shit themselves. He was a, he was a, he loved fired up love punishment.

Um, so you've jumped off the platform. You grabbed the court. Now you were up against your boy, Brett. Now you and Brett, and for the first time it seemed in this episode, it started to make a bit of an alliance or at least a friendship. And you said that he was physically the best competitor, Brett the boxer. Um, okay. So it was it just like working out every day that did this or how did that?

No, I, well, I knew I'm really good at sizing people up. I, and I played college football too. So I'm like really good seeing who's athletic. I mean, Brett's what? Six, four shredded. He's benching that, you know, that bed every day. I'm like, Jesus, this guy's pretty physical beast. So I knew I, and I saw what the relationship was happening.

I saw Devante flirting with Amanda and I saw Jack flirting with Mac. So if I take Brett from them, I'm going to separate their whole bro code before it even happened. So I started sinking my teeth in a little bit. And then you think that I, okay. So when I watch the episodes, I'm watching them now from a new thing. I only ever saw you guys in the tasks and saw you at the saving ceremony. So I didn't know what was going on right the whole time.

I feel like, I feel like Alyssa and Frankie are getting passes, man. You guys were letting them slip by you. You were so worried about the bros and like versus the, like, like the you and Jacob and Amanda click that happened before. Um, okay. Well, okay. This is, I'll ask this question. Um, what are your thoughts on a man on Katherine now that you've watched the show, not as a person unlike, did you know any of the stuff that was going on? I'm impressed. I'm impressed with her TV personality. Um, but like I said, when I was there first day, my, you know, strategy was I was going to be a little quiet.

Like I am at the start and I'm siphoning everyone up. I'm gaining all the information I can get. And then I'm like, who's the threats here? And then who I viewed as a threat is who I still view as the threats. I was looking at probably Jack was athletic and super tall. Frankie socially had everyone in the house. I saw him doing their hair. I'm like, Oh, he's got half the house. He's a nice guy. Those two people I have to take down. And then so Catherine wasn't really on my radar, but seeing her on the show, like she's great.

She is great. Oh my gosh. She, yeah, she turned against everybody, but it's, she's doing it pretty soon. It's only episode five. You know, she's getting called out. That was it. When, when pastor Jacob actually called her out and he was telling the truth. And then the boys came up in the episode before and started yelling, there was a

look on your face where you just looked at Alyssa and went, yeah, yeah. I was playing my seeds. You know, I was like, look, look, what's happening. Look, who's lying to you. And I was hoping like Jacob could come out of it too, but no one gave him a fair shake from the start. Pastor Jacob was thinking shit.

Now, Derek, are you, are you still in law enforcement now? Like since you're off the show or you're no longer in it or how do you get a break like that to go away, go back into the force? What, what, what goes on? Man, I had to really plan that, um, and do it accordingly. Like, so I had enough time off like a PTO. So first I went to my Sergeant, then went to the Lieutenant and then the chief. And it was a, it was kind of a difficult sell, you know, but, sitting down with them having mature conversations on them. I really I kind of had some unfinished business

I wanted to finish and I was gonna you know do it in the right way They believed in me and it was it was the best so I was able to use my vacation time I took off for that long and then I got back and I got right back into it. I got an armed robbery I got a homicide. It was like, it was crazy. It's crazy. The mobile has been spinning. I, I, I, I, I wait for the moment when you're questioning a person like, we know you did it like you off the snake.

Yeah. They're bringing it up during like interviews that, you know, like you've seen the snake today. Do they give you like now that you're out and you go on a big TV show in America? I actually, I know I've got a friend and he was a good looking guy who had like a bit of charm about him. And he got a division posting in the NYPD, which was to look after the celebrities that walked onto good morning America, right.

And they, and they selected him because they said he's a good looking guy and he's got a nice smile. And then he ended up marrying Miranda Lambert, the country singer, right? Oh my God. Yes. Yes. They met backstage and she was like, oh, he's, I liked the guy, the cop that guarded me. And so I heard that the police divisions do find people with a bit of, a bit of nows and charm and put them in like postings like that. Well, Amos is trying to ask, are you going to get a hot guy role? He seems quite smitten with you. Dude, Amos is my guy. I'm loving this.

I mean, if they're hiring, call me somebody. I'll take that spot. What's the easiest? Because I heard in NYPD, that's the glamour posting in LAPD. Is there a version of that? Can you? That's why I got to investigate. Case starts Monday. Uh, I got to start looking into that. Yeah.

Conversely, can you get us some more evidence on the ditty parties? Go one or the other way. Either way, trajectories taken off as, as a cop, as a detective, have you seen the Epstein list? Does it exist? I know this wasn't what you were interested about. Next. Well, next we'll ask you about Israel, Palestine, but answer this question. Because that's my thing about Derek.

I think you're a sleeper cell agent. They're going to make you famous through reality TV. So you can end up doing some bust on Lisa Vanderpump in five years time. Get them. All right. So saving ceremony, did it go exactly how you wanted it to go in this episode? Yes, it went exactly the way I planned it. Uh, Devante pissed me off. I mean, he shook my hand and he swore in his mom and dad's life that he's going to pick me and I could

have, you know, directed a couple different ways, but you know, it made me mad. So he had to go first. And then by doing that, I was kind of able to break up every single other person's relationships and I kind of reset the that, I was kind of able to break up every single other person's relationships. And I kind of reset the game and I was happy. I did it. Well, you've done it twice because you had that other time that you saved Jacob and then you left McLean in the bottom and you said you got like a double elimination there.

You've done now two really pivotal moments in the game to eliminate people. Yeah, definitely. I think like I was saying, I was trying to play the start a little bit quiet and not really show definitely I think like I was saying I was trying to play the start a little bit quiet and not really show that I maneuver like that but like you said this episode my back was against the wall Jacob's gone Cody's gone and I'm like it's do or die so I got to make it happen and then I'm gonna show everyone how good I am. All right what did your what did your wife think of you on the show does she enjoy watching? Cause we know you have a young daughter.

You always sit on the show. You were trying to win a hundred thousand dollars and get a college fund for your kid, right? Which was the best answer. Everyone else had pretty, some of the people are like, I'm going to buy a car, a boat and help my family and give something charity. And you're like, college fund for me. Kids make more sense.

She's excited. I mean, she's having fun with me on the show. And it's just, it's been fun for the whole family, the PD, like everyone's, everyone's just really excited. It's been such a great experience. Thank you, Fox. Thank you, Jim, for having me. It's just, it's been really incredible. Well, my, my wife, I think I mentioned this in other podcasts, but my wife always takes the piss out of me because at the end of the episodes, I always hold up the dial and go, who wants this like this? And you all you'll go yeah and so my wife does that with dinner now each night well look mate I loved having you on the show you're a good guy to hang out with if if you ever want to come to the

show in Illinois when I'm there just hit me up man. It was good to see you. Good to see you too. And most thanks so much. Nice to see you Derek. Yeah and if I ever get in trouble in the Illinois area with the police, you're the first guy I'm calling. Yeah give me a call. Alright brother. Give me a call Jim. Alright man, good to see you. See you man, bye. Okay ladies and gentlemen, because I'm going to be away in Hawaii and Amos is in wherever the fuck he always stays.

I'm in Montreal. He's in Montreal. And he's in, he's in Canada. Uh, so we won't be able to record an episode next week. So we are cutting this episode short. We will be doing part two of it will be released next Tuesday so that you all still get some at this moment. Let me take us out. No, because we also got that Australian politics.

I want to finish in the wide words of the great Silvio who says, all of us have a homosexual part of 20% of us, which I also have. Many experts in the Italian science divisions say this, we're all 25% gay. The thing is, I, my fellow Italians, after profound examination and research, have realized that my homosexual part is 100% lesbian.