I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 25 - Johnny Cash Backlash

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

At this moment, Jim and Amos talk about the backlash Jim's special has gotten for his Johnny Cash routine, the end of Amo's Edinburgh run, and a new UK policing tactic. Jim's new special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix! Watch THE SNAKE on FOX Tuesdays at 9pm ET/8pm CT and available the next day on Hulu. ADS: MINT MOBILE - Get this new customer offer and your 3-month Unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at http://www.mintmobile.com/atm Upfront payment of $45 required (equivalent to $15/mo.). Limited time new customer offer for first 3 months only. Speeds may slow above 35GB on Unlimited plan. Taxes & fees extra. See MINT MOBILE for details. SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: https://www.jimjefferies.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies FB: https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimjefferies Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/ Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

This year, skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get the new customer offer in your three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash ATM. That's mintmobile.com slash ATM. Up front payment of $45 required, equivalent of $15 a month, limited time, new customer offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigs on the unlimited plan, taxes and fees extra. See MintMobile for details.

Hello everybody. Welcome to at this moment with Jim Jeffries and Amos Gill. On a very special week, Jim's special is out. Please watch it. Recommend it to friends. Jim, you must be happy with that the way it's gone. You're raining all over the world. It's going well. It's raining all over the world. If you enjoy the special, come and catch me in Europe where we're doing the son of a carpenter tour. A lot of people have been writing to me saying, is it going to be the same material? No, it is not. It's a whole new show. So enjoy the special and then come to the tour. I am going to be in Nashville. I'm leaving Edinburgh, finally getting out of Scotland, Nashville, 22nd, 23rd at Zanis. Come down and see me there. But on today's podcast, Jim and I discussed some crazy new laws in the UK, a moral dilemma facing the Australian sporting public, and we also found out which one of us had the most attractive fit. Enjoy it.

All right. Welcome, everybody. Sit back. Enjoy yourself. We're going to take care of you for the next day. hour. You just sit back and enjoy. This is your special time. Put some candles on run a bar. 50 minutes is what I'm going to give you tonight. Not an hour. 50. I've got to get back out there. It's the final night for me. I want to go get Hammond. So can we speed it along?

Amos is still at the Edinburgh Festival. He's about to come back to L.A. tomorrow. He has, and then we're ducking off to Europe. Our next podcast you hear will be in the in the... We'll finally be together. Yeah, yeah, we'll finally be together. Can I just quickly say, you're going to talk about your Netflix special. Can I just give everyone a little bit of schadenfreude for my career tonight yes so amos hasn't had a good night in the comedy clubs so i finished yesterday my run and i had a great run and so many ATM people so many ass to mouthers as we call them came out and listened to my show and they were bloody awesome people from all over the world and i left on a high and i'm sure you've done this before jim you go you

know what i've got one more night i'll add an extra show because maybe maybe i hadn't tested the demand entirely. I was in London going to see Oasis having my first trip without doing comedy in my entire life and I still thought, I'll check out that comedy club and I went down there and fucking died. Yes, I don't know, I don't know why we have to chase performing. Can't we just have a good time? You could have had a lovely night off tonight. Well, I said, seen some shows. You could have had some drinks. You could have, you could have, uh, hang out with old friends that you're not going to see for a long time. But what did you choose to do? I added a show and it went up at 3 p.m. at a tiny corner pub.

Now, it is a pub that Billy Connolly started as a musician in. And I was like, I'll do me show in there. It's called the Waverly Hotel. That's how these places get you, though. They go, oh, I remember them saying, like, in comedy clubs when I moved to England, Eddie Isard used to get up on this stage. Yes, of course he did. He wasn't born famous.

Yeah, he was really shit for a while. You go here. Oh, the Beatles used to perform here. Yes, yes. Before they were famous. Yes, yes. It doesn't mean anything. So, yeah, Michael Jackson was born in this hospital.

All right. I'm not going to spend me lunch break then. You might catch pedophilia. So I put it on and I think we'd sold eight tickets. And I was like, at 6.30 p.m. And everyone said, just do it. And a few mates turn up. And then a couple of other comedians I respect turn up.

And so there's 13 people. And I'm pissed. off that I even have to do this and let me get up you made the fatal error of walking on stage and resenting the people who bought the tickets oh yeah you're meant to like those people you meant to hate the empty seats not the not the full seats but for some reason I've done this as well you walk out the other professor there and you like this oh why do I fucking bother well how I was saying everyone could be getting pissed right now so anyway thanks for coming where were you the other nights why it's stupid to come here now anyway I'm eating ass I'm

bombing so bad and it's just like a flat energy i'm trying me best and i just you know i have this feeling of resentment like it's been five minutes 55 more and we can get out of here and as i'm just moving into the material the door opens and my american manager walks in with someone from netflix and he's decided to surprise me yeah come down and watch the young fella he's work in the room, he's got a brand new hour. You can't say, you can't say that your management didn't do their job. So I'm now immediately sweating, like I'm in a puddle of back sweat, flop sweat like you can't imagine. The smelliest of all the sweat, the sweat of the fear sweat, the one when you get caught in a lie or when you're in a high-pressure situation, the fear sweat, the

worst of a lot. And it's so hard to go from telling the audience, I don't care. And I'm not doing the worst, but I'm doing a lot of who gives the shit, I'm tired, we'll just talk through the new stuff to all of a sudden I'm like so anyway you guys ever noticed this about remember the Vikings you know the I go into like I want it too much mode so the bombing is getting worse Did you start bragging? Is that bragging?

You know like this whole runs you know being sold out but it's just nice to have a small crowd where I can actually get to chat you know it's not like when I go to Adelaide or Melbourne and I sell out and we have to actually add we did add this show because but it's you know we just didn't advertise it but anyway

I'm just happy you guys are here So when I get off, I come over and I was like, dude, what the fuck? And he goes to me, ah, man, we, everyone's seen people struggle. We could see the material was pretty good that you're working on there, the new stuff. They can't, they can't. They all say they can and they fucking can't. Every time someone goes, oh, I can see, you know, I can see. And if someone, did they ever say this one?

And the people, they weren't laughing. I think it's because they were paying attention. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, they were just laughing on the inside. Well, how come they laughed on the outside for the good stuff that always, works. How come every time I dipped into the old material, they seem to find a way to express it.

I didn't want to laugh too loud because I didn't want to miss a word you were going to say. So this was the joke that I said. This is a line that is only works if the show is going well. I go, in a racism, it's a complex issue. Actually, no, it's a complexion issue. That's funny. And this woman just goes, this woman goes like this, she goes, ooh. And that sound, that sound, ooh.

just got me, man. I was like, ah, fuck this. So no Netflix special for me, but from my Netflix special that isn't going to happen to a man who has got a Netflix special, what's it like to have a special

and receive criticism on the internet? I'm sure it's just a fun. I tell you what, this specials actually done better than my last two specials. And, um, you're number one in Lithuania, I saw.

Nothing one in Lithuania. I've been number two in Australia all week. And I, I stayed in the top 10 in, um, in America and I stayed in the top five in Canada for a week. So it's pretty cool, you know, but, you know, look, it's arguably done better than my last couple of specials.

And I thought this might be not go as well as the other two. I thought I was sort of done for it. I thought it was going to go in the same motion. But I've had a little uptick in the career. But, okay, so you get the whole, this is the worst special I've ever seen. You've lost it. I used to be a fan. What do you mean I used to be a fan?

What do you mean I used to be a fan? Just say I'm a fan I didn't like this one. What do you have to say you used to be a fan? It's so zero and one. It's like binary.

It's like I am, I am not. Yeah, it's like I haven't bought the last Paul McCartney albums. I still acknowledge the Beatles are good. You know what I mean?

I haven't stopped being a fan because I didn't like his last fucking album. I didn't like the one that he dedicated to the woman without a foot. You know what I mean? So it's like,

my point is, I don't think you used to be a fan. Just go, not your best work, in my opinion. And then watch the old special, cunt, right? But there's a lot of, I used to be a fan, he used to be a fan. And then a few people, this is your best special you've ever done. Thank fuck. This is the best one since Alcoholics.

And then the other ones with shit. So you can't please everyone. But what I have enjoyed, the criticism I have enjoyed, normally I don't enjoy criticism. I don't enjoy criticism, funny that. But the criticism I have enjoyed is the angry Johnny Cash fans are fucking, they're ropeable. right well i knew this would be the case i've got some feedback in edinburgh from people going what's his issue with buddy cash

well this is the whole thing you get done for gun control you get done for mentioning trump you get done for mentioning some things like health care stuff these are things that i've been threatened about before these are things that people have been super angry with me i thought you know what in this special i'm not going to mention trump i think the whole world's over there's too much news going on they don't need my opinion on top of opinions

i'm not going to mention israel palestine i'm not going to mention israel palestine i'm not I said, I'm going to have a little dig at the beginning at Johnny Cash. We've all heard me digs on Johnny Cash, like they digs on Johnny Cash before. If you listen to this podcast, you know my opinion on Johnny Cash that none of you actually have bought an album. And I bet you half the cunts who are angry at me, haven't bought an album or can name one. No one can name a Johnny Cash album, just the one about him being in prison and the t-shirt with him giving the finger.

You're all a bunch of frauds. I'm doubling down, right? But they wrote to me, they wrote to me with such fucking. anger and I was just writing back like thank you that's the response I wanted to have thank you I wanted to I wanted to push away from the news and just let's be angry

about something trivial and then they're like you're an edge lord mate you're an edge lord and then they're like this yeah you're right it was good to be angry about something that wasn't the news right but Jack was Jack was reading to me there was like a country fucking western

fucking podcast or or site and everyone's like this on the country site, they're like this. I've heard of Johnny Cash. I haven't heard of Jim Jeffries. Yeah, you're on a fucking country Western forum, cunt. Like, that's not all things are... You own a website called The Man in Black.com.

And also, without a shadow of a doubt, I have never ever said that I was more famous than Johnny Cash. Cash is king, and comedians are funny. No problems here. I've got 30 plus LPs of the man... A man in black, blah, blah, blah. Where's one where they're just angry at me? Here we go.

Someone called me a T-Moo Steve Irwin. That's everyone's joke now. I have zero Jim. There's got to be more Australian. I have zero Jim Jeffries T-shirts. That's my point, cunt. You have Johnny Cash T-shirts and not the fucking albums. That's my fucking point.

I think you're more of an Amazon basics, Paul Hogan. Yeah, exactly. I got more specific reference. I'm way closer to Paul Hogan than I am to fucking Steve Irwin. and no one's seen me pick up a cat like let alone wrestle a fucking crocodile and now of a sudden you're like oh Timo fucking Jim Jeffries

I think I think Timo has to be comedically reference that's out now when I see a Timo reference it's over we've got to put that in the sin bin now yeah yeah yeah no Timo is the Johnny Cash of jokes it's fucking hack man

I've got a team I've got a team a reference in my line and every night I say it I'm like I can't respect myself if I carry on here Just before I bit, Johnny Cash, Johnny Cash had Wacking Phoenix impersonate him perfectly, perfectly, where he sang the songs. I'll disagree with you. I'll disagree with you because I grew up loving Johnny Cash, but I didn't, actually. I loved Joaquin Phoenix because my mom took me to walk the line and she bought me the album. And I flogged that album.

I loved it so much. And then I remember hearing the real Johnny Cash, and this isn't going to get me any fans, but I was like, hmm, a bit rough in the voice, though. Yeah, yeah.

Not as good as Joaquin. So you're arguing that Wachin Phoenix was better. And Wachin Phoenix wasn't even... Well, he's not the same man. He's an actor playing it, but I actually like the...

He wasn't even the first choice. They were going to use Rusty. Russell Crowe was going to play Wachin Phoenix playing Johnny Cash. I can't believe you just got that of me because I do like Johnny Cash, but I actually really love... I just love Wakein, all right?

So let me just... Can I give you my version of that? I said it to... I was walking home from the gigs and I called you to talk about to have our pre-show meeting, which is usually just bitching about our partners and then not airing that. But I said to you, here's my Johnny Cash. What the fuck is a Santana and what's going on there? Why does Australia put him in an arena?

What does this guy do? He just reads a couple of songs. He's a guitarist that appeared on the Matchbox 20. Now people are going to go upset with you. If you say Carlos Santana, is it Carlos? Yeah, Carlos Santana. Charlie Santa. If you tell me Charlie Santa's no good, people are you, we've just lost all the team.

Come on, get Jack on me a tune from Santana. Or else forget about it. Black magic woman. It's a good song, please. It's like a black magic woman. But this is the thing is, I went to Oasis. Everyone was jumping up and down to cigarettes and alcohol. No one goes, black magic woman.

Oh, everyone who fucking. Oh, God. Black magic woman. Black magic woman. Black magic woman. I can't believe I've started this podcast talking about bombing in front of eight people and I've had the audacity to attack a legend of the guitar. I'm lashing out like a cornered rat.

This is, this is the, this is the deal. If you ever do sell out an arena, people will be able to go, he used to bomb him. I don't understand why he's so big in Croatia. How did he get so big in Croatia? I'm so humiliated about tonight. I'm looking forward to seeing you perform in Croatia because you're going to be like when our friend Jason performs in Canada. and he's just like this oh the oilers aren't doing well

next to the Canucks this year now are they you're going to be like this oh bloody you're Luca you guys watch Luca Modrich's most recent interview for A.C. Milan and they'll go dude do some dick jokes shut the fuck up you're not Croatian you've got a Croatian surname I'll tell you as a funny

when you love something too much you're actually really people aren't funny because you're trying to impress too much that you know stuff you better be to be ignorant to be funny so I text you yesterday this is a thing that you won't you'll remember it happened yesterday i i i like to whenever i go down to the mall if we go down the mall we're going down to eat there there's a board game shop and i always just buy a random

board game to see if it'll be good the most expensive ones like 50 bucks and you'll you'll get at least one nights out of entertainment out of it it might be a banger right yeah so i saw a board game that i could not pass up as soon as i saw it i was just like here's my money right and the board game's called Secret Hitler Right Secret Hitler I haven't opened

It's still in its plastic It's downstairs Secret Hitler In my in-laws There's no secret Yeah this is the thing So I send it I send it to another Hitler

Fan when I say fan Fan of his documentaries Not of his work Not of his work I'm a fan of Hitler For all the entertainment He's given me over the years Yeah

Right I don't support Hitler I want to be very close about this. I don't support Hitler. I'm just a fan of his documentaries. You like the Hitler universe that's formed off some other characters. He's given me material. He's giving me everything, Hitler.

He's a gift that keeps it giving me. He's giving me little tiny moustaches and stuff. We're a big fan of Hitler. If you think of the Hitler universe for entertainment, the documentaries, not just the documentaries, the Indiana Jones movies. You could say Star Wars in many ways. I want to see Hitler in the multiverse, right,

where they do like a Marvel multiverse where we go jump through different timelines and we see Hitler as a successful painter, Hitler if he didn't start shagging his niece, those type of hitlers. Anyway, so there's a board game Secret Hitler. I think it's a game like Traders. I've never played it.

It looks like, I think the original was like Werewolf, like someone's the Werewolf. Okay, well, this one's called Secret Hitler and you've got to... I'm not kidding you, I've played this in Germany. Jack, you're up to play Secret Hitler? Okay, so I bought the board game in a regular shop.

in a regular shop a secret hitler and I send you the photograph at Amos respires back like this me and my girlfriend's family play that game all the time now we've mentioned this

on the podcast before Amos's father-in-law is basically if Augustus Gloop grew up right Augustus yeah he is I love that chocolate river

he would have been right he has an Augustus Gloop vibe about him all right but super german if he if he if he if he was wearing leaderhausen you wouldn't go and i've seen him in leaderhausen if if he was wearing leaderhausen it doesn't look weird on him it looks like it's well worn it's not like it's a new outfit he's six foot nine he's got cheruby cheeks and really red face and smoke cigars and we do play secret hitler after we've had our

after dinner mince that's what that's what he plays with his german inlaws his german inlaws The shame that they should have for their nation, I'm sure they don't sell secret Hitler in Germany. This is just a day this over here. But I used to have a Cambodian girlfriend and we played the Killingfields board game. I thought that was quite inappropriate. Where someone's Pol Pot and you've got to work out who it is.

Yeah, yeah, Paul Pot. Paul Pot, you grow up. And if you get caught holding the sunglasses, you're out. It's just a whole lot of pots and you've got to lift open the right lid. I was thinking about Pol Pot the other day because I'm writing a lot of jokes about dictators and I was like, you know how Pol Pot, you killed everyone that wore the glasses because he thought they were intellectuals. I'm writing jokes about Bonnie Blue.

Oh, Dictakers. Dictakers. Well, this is in the same area. So he kills people with glasses because he's like, we have to mention body blue once. It's in our country. It is in our country. These intellectuals could ruin the revolution, you know, so we have to kill them. And now because of that, the Cambodians, I believe, have.

like 2020 vision because they got rid of everyone who needed glasses right and so i was thinking about like if i was pole pot and i was acting out on my worst traits i'd probably kill every man with a big cock because i would yeah i wouldn't want to have the smallest cock in the land i'd want to get the biggest so everyone who has a bigger dick than me is killed so you have just so okay so they'd either have to measure your dick to begin with right and then we have the official or you'd have to be there on the killing sprees Amos, come and stand next to them. Oh, it's close.

It's close. No, they have a, all the soldiers have a chart. They have a chart. They have an official dick ruler. And if it's like a fishing thing, you know, when you throw it back to fish, they pull the ruler out and they measure the cock and they go, sorry, mate. Gilly's not going to like this. But here's the whole thing.

It's like if you've got a grower, not a shower, some people can slip under the neck. So they have to get erections before they kill you. And it is hard for some people. It's very scary when there's a firing squad there. So I only want to just tell this one story because I want to tell a joke that my father once said to me, right? So Boy George about a month ago in an article talked about LGBTQA things and he basically said, look, we're all individuals. We shouldn't be put into groups.

And I don't think that gender identity has actually helped anyone. And it's like, fucking this is boy George, right? In the 80s, like I remember kids going to school for like a fancy dress party as, boy George that was like a thing you were like the beat it and the hat and all that type of stuff let's be honest if he was coming out today he'd be called they George they George yeah yeah he wouldn't yeah he'd be them they George um but but my my dad said he goes always like that bloke who did the song come on a chameleon very hard you don't know where they are well that's the whole thing when you come on a chameleon you see where I've had it

The cum starts moving around. Yeah. Does it just become like a Janatelus blob of Kump? How did he get in there? And what was he doing in the area? How did he get into my car? Yeah, so when you come on a chameleon, does that just look like whatever, you know,

fucking Bonnie Blue's left cheek? We have to mention it twice. It's part of the contract. It's part of the contract. We don't mention it. We can't get the advert money. We're on a two-strike policy now, mate. I'm going to have to put you on the sin bin on Bonnie Blue.

Bonnie Bleued out. Again, it's all they talk about in the UK, too. I have to say, because they've had that documentary, and it is crazy to watch. I didn't know. Did you know that the dad is out there getting men in pubs? Like, you want to shag me, daughter? He's an organizer. He's a spotter.

He's a Galane Maxwell for his own daughter. He finds the men to bring back. And he's like, yeah, well, wouldn't you if you were making two million, her month. Well, I knew a porn star back in the day and she said like her dad was so proud and he had framed covers of her DVDs on his wall. And it's like

the covers were pretty explicit covers. The back of the covers are not, you know what I mean? It's like if I frame one of them. That was that famous movie she was in Come on a Camelian. Yeah, yeah, come a, come on a, come on a Camillion. You can't see him go. Where did he go? Oh, whoa.

Hey, you're holding up your end tonight? Yeah, I'm trying to best. Get under the idea. You know what's really funny is that Anika told me today. She was talking about our podcast and she goes, remember when you guys were in a studio and you were trying to do like, oh, I'm conservative and I'm liberal and you debated topics? She's like, and now you guys just sound high giggling about nonsense.

And I go, yeah, we found our spot. We gave up on Crossfire a while ago. Yeah, we used to do characters. we'll get back to the characters when we get back together it'll be a different podcast but look the podcast should be called common ground because you are right wing and i am left wing but we can all agree on a come a chameleon joke and you're going to tell me about a story about cops in the oh yeah i'm going to do this story in a second but actually i was working on this new bit tell me this is actually going pretty well i go you know i'm somewhat conservative i guess and there's a lot of guys

my age on the internet who are like we have to save western civilization but they also think the opera is gay and they've never read Shakespeare so it's like what are we saving is the bit that I said it's like most young dudes who are conservative to be honest they just want to say retard and faggot like that's the whole that's that's their whole that that's my problem with it because as an edgy comic my problem's always been the fact that you don't have to say those words to be edgy you don't have to you can be here's the punchline here's the punchline So I go, guys, if we're defending Western civilization and we want to be offensive, why can't you be a bit more educated?

You should say, like, if you want to talk to a gay guy, you just say, shall I compare thee to a bundle of sticks? And that's exactly the response that I get. That's quite funny. Shall I compare these to a bug? The English love that, eh? They just love a little like quip. Very clever.

The boy from the island is brainworks. I love it it's one of those laughs I understood it that's all it is is like yes it's crosswords you didn't get it

um actually should we bring up before we when you're saying I'm just thinking about so my friend sings in the opera I studied opera singing at university a musical theater

so my friends sing the opera it's all government funded they can't really make any money if you work in that art form it's government funded when do we say nah, no more on these things. When do these things die?

I don't think they should. I think we should preserve culture. But let's go forward 400 years. Let's go 400 years in the future. Is there someone that's like, we have to preserve the VR porn? It's what they were watching. Go on.

Say Bonnie Blue, take it. Go on. Get the time out. He was the moats out of come. There it is. I never said it. You brought her up. Get your trifecta, folks.

Yeah, I think the opera, how long does the opera have? How long does the opera have without financial remuneration from an actual audience? Like, who really wants to listen to Wagner's ring cycle? My family while we play Secret Hitler. Yeah, no, you have it on the background while you're playing Secret Hitler. We're not animals. But, like, you know, because you've got like Puccini, Puccini makes operas that way, the hits, Churandotte and stuff like that, Nesedorma, all this stuff, the ones you want to hear. But then, you know, Mozart with the magic flute and all that stuff you like, songs you like, right? But then the other cunts, I don't want to listen to Puccini, not Puccini Parcell, Purcell or whatever,

who did Dido and Anais, the first English-speaking fucking opera. This is junk. Yeah, it's crap, but we still keep playing it because, well, historically, we shouldn't let this thing die. But we let modern music that shit die. I want to say, maybe we'll just have, like, recordings of it that you'll be preserved, like, in a... We have recordings of all those operas. They have to be performed live so that the art form still continues. We still teach people to sing it at university.

So in 400 years, we're like, no, you've got to listen to definitely maybe. It's an important album, right? It's an important album. And it needs to be performed. They'll just be some guy, just be like, all right, fucking study the music college to be able to do this. All right, come on. You put your hands behind your back and you took your head up like fucking this. This is what the arts used to be like.

I don't think we'll be around in 400 years, mate, to be honest. No, we're not. But the music will. No, I mean the species. Oh, I don't think. I thought, I thought that you were surprised at me and you wouldn't be around a four years. I don't think, well, I always said to you on the walk in as well, like I want to be a robot. But at the same time, is there any value to society upload my consciousness to a robot?

That's another thing. So I've been, a lot of amputees have been reaching out to me this week since the special came out and I, I respond to them. You know,

if, what do they say to you? Fuck you. I like Johnny Cash. The person who runs my social media tells me if these messages get through, certain messages get through. And certain messages I do read,

certain messages I don't say, so yeah, so for the most part, I've been, I've been, what I've been getting is a lot of disabled people that are just like this.

Do I qualify? right and it's always just a cunt with a wonky eye and he's missing three fingers and i'm like oh you're close it's like you have to have two fucked up limbs no i know but people try to push their luck but i'm going to put it out here now if if you're if you're um okay two limbs i'll give you a photo right and you can come and meet me after any show and you hit me up and if i'm even in your area i'll come and take a photo with you missing two limbs right but i've decided moving forward. Four limbs?

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try you can't four limbs free tickets four limbs free free free tickets I mean, sorry, four limbs is... Oh, look, look. Well, you can't give them a seat. They can't sit in a seat. They're going to need like a hammock. Of course, they can have a seat. They still have an ass, you idiot.

They still have an ass. They still have an ass and like a little bit of limb coming off the ass. You think these cunts are just heads. Yeah, that's what he made it sound like. No, no, no, no. So the torso's. They've still got bodies. They're because they've got torsos.

What, do you know just like, this is me? And also, they'll be in a chair themselves. They can wheel up into the disabled bit. But quads, moving forward. No, no, I've got a question for you quickly. What's the smallest ever... I try to do something nice and you make it seem horrible. Well, no, listen, you're very kind to the disabled.

We get it. I'm a monster. But I just want to go, what's the smallest body master of ever lived? At the moment, the last show you did would have been free tickets for able-bodied people. If you imagine, if a disabled person had to go and watch me struggle in there, life's hard enough. Yeah. Yeah. It's a sit through that.

The problem with the people with four arms, they're not good at applauding. So, you know, that's, you don't, you don't want too many of them. There's, you want a, you want a nice balance in the room. But, but, but, yeah. Okay, but how much body can you have amputated before, like, so what's a necessity? You need, you need, you need a brain. Yeah, you need a brain. You need a heart.

You need a heart. Yep. You need, you need, you need, you need, you need, colons and stuff like that. You need an asshole. No, because you don't need an asshole, because you can have a shit bag. You can have a, you can have a Pellostomy bag. Yeah, but you still need to have a fucking asshole to get the clostomy bag.

Like, you still eat a colon. No. Oh, what, you think it's become shit out here. It has to go through your intestines to become shit. It doesn't just land in your stomach and become shit. It's like, like, you think you could just, if you could just cut off the stomach and the food could just fall through, could it? I shagged a woman with a colostomy bag once, and it popped. Yeah, yeah.

Well, you shouldn't, you shouldn't have brought your colostomy bag with you. Did I ever tell you, I don't have a tell you, I shouldn't probably say this. This is a private story, but I'm not going to out the person. And that might be, I had a, I was going to out the person. I think they know who it is. You don't think she's sitting at home right now going, well, maybe shaggs multiple women with plus new bags. So I've got, let's get some news going.

And obviously, Jimmy. What's happening at this moment? What's happening at this moment? There's a few stories. Ask the bag. I'm going to do some speed stories and then I want to focus on a couple of others. So here's a quick fun one from the United States. if we go a whip around the world a Philadelphia man was awarded four million dollars after he was

wrongfully jailed for 24 years as he should they should give him more but anyway yep four million for 24 years for murder however he is back in prison this week after he killed another man quite recently over a twelve hundred dollar drug debt well he might be like brooks from shawshank redemption and does he get to keep his normal four million and does he get to use that in the commissary at the police he was like the amount of fucking cigarettes i'll get i'll go back and live like a kid he's like four million doesn't get you much out here in the blood even philadelphia anymore i'll go back yeah yeah all your mates are in there oh yeah no and that's a good question do you get to go back to the same prison or do they put you in a new prison i i don't

know if i don't know if the judge takes kindly to that in a murder trial we go oh how many years 10 now, how about cellbox C-46? Yeah. Is the bottom bunk in Macca's room still open? You're putting in request. How do you plead?

I plead excited as fuck to get back into Block B. Who am I sharing with? Shanky Steve. Ah, he's all right. All right, then. Because you'd also, you'd be coming in and you know what you're going to do.

You know, you've been there before. yeah you go in there because 24 years legitimately four million's not enough I'd wear I'd wear a butt plug to be ready to go how many how do you work out 20 how do you work out how do you work out how do you work out four million from 24 years what do they do I think they do you get like 200 grand a year or something like that is how they they work it out it's it's something like that

they give you not just an average salary they give you a good salary but as I he probably thought he had double jeopardy There was a woman in Australia who killed her four kids or whatever. They gave her one point something million, 1.3 million. Turns out she didn't kill her kids. She was convicted of killing her children. They had a very rare disorder. So they put her in prison.

She was in prison for a very long time. 20 years. They give her 1.3 million. In Australian, so 1 million American, you can't buy a fucking house for that. You can't buy a house. You've got to at least give a kind of fucking house. income but jim you're telling me the australian government isn't looking after people that have been fucked over in their duty of care it turns out it turns out i was talking about theo vaughan's

podcast the other day about this about my nephew and uh i'm filthy with the australian government they fucked over my family completely and i don't want to get into it again because i've spoken on enough radio and stuff like that but it's fucking really bloody annoying and i regret i regret bringing that up now i've really i've really taken the ball out of the air The Bantamust just hit the brakes. So how did you go straight from, how did you go straight from a clostomy bag of shit to my nephew dying as a hero?

Yeah, fuck it's me. Everyone knows that I know where the bantibus breaks are every time, baby. All right. One of the great hand breaks. Give us some story. Here's another story. This is from Australia,

and then I'm going to end my favourite one from the UK. Tell me what you think about this. Now, I go for the Adelaide Crows in the Australian Football League and we're top of the ladder. We've been shit for a while. Well, last time we made an Australian version of the Super Bowl was 2017. We got blown off the park. I was there.

It was one of the worst days of my life because the Killers was the halftime entertainment, one of my favorite bands. So I now associate that band with my team getting smacked. However, we go into the finals campaign, absolute favorites. But our star player, Isaac Renkeen, will not play. Is the finals happening now? It starts now, yeah. Oh, okay.

They're in the last round. Okay. So the grand final for people not playing along at home. is the end of September. Last weekend of September is when we have our big Super Bowl. And Isaac Renkeen is one of the star players of our team. He will not take part any further. He's been ruled out it would seem for at least four weeks

because he called another player on the pitch a fag. Okay. All right. So Australia is having a big debate about this because they're like, you can punch someone in the head and get three. Okay. Okay, I've always thought this is weird about sport. Is sports the only, because it is an occupation, they're entertainers.

It's the only occupation where you can punch someone in the face in your workplace and they go, you go sit over there for five minutes and think about what you've done. Although I think people would probably like their jobs more if they were allowed that. Oh, no, no, no, I'm just saying. At KPMG, you go, look, I'll go to the Sydney bin, but he had it fucking coming. People aren't going to like my opinion on this. I agree He can't do derogatory slurs

We all know you can't do them There has to be a line in the sand somewhere If he called someone the N word Would we be having the same thing Hold on The F word to the gay community Let me Let me give you all the facts

Was the guy gay? He was not gay But he did paint his nails So Hold on Hold on now we've got the facts Oh no no no I don't like them at all

A heterosexual bloke Who paints his nails Were they painted black or anything he's one of those duchers. I don't know how they were painted, but that's what all the fans of the T.I supporter say? Well, what's he painting his nails for? Yeah, no.

He was asking for it. I'm really, yeah, look, I'm with, oh, geez, this has made it difficult. The nails have really thrown a spanner in the works. Okay, but let me tell you about the big debate. If, if, if, I feel like the word got on the end, that makes the word worse for some reason. reason.

Okay. I don't know whether he said that. He said the cigarette, the cigarette, not the full thing. If he said the full thing, did he put the word fucking in front of it? No, listen, they don't say what it said. It could have been poofter. It could have been bumroader.

Pufter I'm all right with. If you said poofter, that's, I'm okay with it. Because every time I've met an American gay, like, I've got a lot of gay friends, right? Every time I, I, I, they always find that word hilarious that we use it. When we were a kid, the big joke was, how does a gay magician disappear? Funny stuff. So let me add the final dynamic. No, I don't think you should.

Look, call me off. Look, we have to have, if you're a young gay person and you're watching sport, it's already hard enough. And I have a few friends. My friend Todd. You cock from watching those beautiful bodies. My friend Todd, my friend Todd's a bit. big sports guy and he's he's gay right and I think if when he was a young man growing up

if he was to hear someone call another player fag I think that would man and I know that like I've never signed up to be a role model the kids watch them kids watch them they're entertainers they're entertainers they're on our TV for children to enjoy and to emulate and to look up to right it's just it is just funny that like we now live in, because like forever people, I played football, homophobic slurs were part and parcel of the game. Yeah, but let me, let me get my point out. What we do for entertainment is adult entertainment, right?

That's a separate thing. Adult entertainment, we're allowed to be a bit dodgy, a bit, bit off colour and stuff. You go into it watching this. These blokes are meant to kick balls through fucking sticks. Yeah. Anyway, you were saying so. With no nail polish on. Yeah, look, look, don't get me started on.

No, what I was saying was. A streak of color in his fucking head. as well bloody you know what not my australia we when you were kids you used to watch the game and it'd be like they'd have the ins and outs for the week who was playing it'd be the ins and outs that's another derogatory slur we call all right who's out this week well he was in then he was out that he was out then i pointed it out now i'm out yeah you got a few behinds he is going to be ruled out and they'll say things like shoulder hip rough conduct, and now we have a tribunal that goes out, slur.

And it does show where the game is gone, because this was, and now this is where the argument is coming in from the general public. And I just wanted to field it to you so I can report on what's happening at home. Yeah, but the reason people are defending him. Those Aboriginal players that went through the tunnel and people were saying just shit at Collingwood and stuff to them, like really fucking heinous crap. It's all the same.

It's derogatory slurs against people for what they are. Now, it's tough because the guy wasn't actually gay. But Ian Roberts, Ian Roberts, played for Manly. Second row, one of the greatest second rowers ever, played for Australia. You'd put him in the top 50 Australian rugby league players of all time. Gay as the day is long, hard as fucking nails. I was at the game when he beat the living shit out of Gary Jack because he had a bit of blood in his head and he went in for a fucking scrum

and someone went, I don't want to fucking go in with that, cunt. I'll get fucking AIDS. and so he beat the living shit out of the kind of 50 grand which doesn't sound like it much but when you know that they only get paid about 200 grand a season back in the day yeah that was a lot of fucking money right so isaac is indigenous right oh the guy who said it's indigenous yeah the guy that said it's indigenous oh that changes everything um i okay so an aboriginal fellow's called someone the f word oh this is too layered i don't know i don't know i've got one You know you've got me in a woke vortex.

I'm fucking, I'm falling. I've got one more. There's two, actually two more layers. Another indigenous guy early in the year only got given one week and he threatened to kill someone in the car park. So people said, so a verbal threat of, I'll kill you, I'll track you down, I know where you live. That's one week.

Culling someone, the F word is going to be four to six weeks. Punching someone in their head is like two weeks. So the grading system's funny. And then this is the best bit of it all. The same time this guy's being punished where he won. won't be able to play in the Super Bowl of Australian football. Snoop Dog has been announced as the halftime entertainment, and now all the people who support Isaac are going,

let's go through Snoop Dog's lyrics. What does he have to say about the games? Yeah, that's a good point. And so the CEO of the AFL has just gone, we don't accept that word at all, but we are paying this guy a couple of million to say it into the loudspeakers. Can someone see if Queens available? Get me that Adam Lambert.

Pronto. And if you're the CEO of the football club, you've got to be like, I don't fucking know, mate. Indigenous guy says the F word to a non-gay guy. He's got his nails polished. He's been through racism in his life. Snoop Dogg's singing the F word. Oh, it's very hard to be an executive in today's world.

Who heard it? Was it heard on the camera? Did the player complain? No, I think the umpire might have heard. But I don't know. Oh, and bloody. They get everything wrong. So you can tell that Australia is having a, it's going to be a big debate week about this.

Just say, I call him a flog. That's what I call him. I called him a flog. It wasn't the other one. Yeah, next story. That's a difficult one. Next story. We're going to move on the next one.

And this one comes out of the UK and I've got some audio for this. Look at me and I think I've even worked out now how to play audio. So for the best part of the last few years, Britain has become quite Orwellian with the rules. You know, people have been. Cameras everywhere. More cameras in society. You're not getting anywhere without being filmed. which is kind of cool.

The place feels super safe. Yeah, it's pretty safe in 1984. But yeah, but not cool if you're a criminal. It must be difficult times. Also, you know, some people have gone to prison for Facebook statuses. Even if they're posting horrendous things, I still don't. Well, I can't speak on that. I don't know if that's something.

But here we go. Look, mate, Oasis were told by the Trump administration that if they get on stage and fucking mention Trump, they'll be kicked out of the fucking country. So let's not, let's not act like we're all fucking. and freedom of speechy over here either it's a load of bullshit carry on okay okay he's got fucking orange hair man he looks like a fucking cheeto out of the country the british the british police are trying to crack down on wolf whistling and sexual harassment to women while they exercise and this is the new program explained these women aren't friends out for a run they're actually

undercover police officers taking to the streets in surrey as part of a new operation trying to stop people cat calling and harassing female runners. We get honked at, the staring, the hanging out of the window just to look at us and it's so, so prevalent. And police teams are ready to intervene the moment the officers are beeped at, followed or shouted at pulling people over. Those kind of behaviours may not be criminal offences in themselves but they still need to be addressed and of course the people that are likely to commit those kind of

behaviours, you know, they may then go on to commit more serious offences or more serious behaviours. I always say, I've never woof-wistle the woman in my life. I'm just not a good woof-wistler. And, yeah, but I remember I had a girlfriend many years ago that when we were walking down the street and some blokes yelled out, all right, something like that. She had a spring in a step. Now, I'm not saying that all women enjoy it.

Because, of course, you don't want to be harassed. You're just trying to have a jog or type of stuff. They've put them in Lulu Lemon yoga pants, which are the greatest invention to mankind. Can we give it up for the top five inventions in the world throughout history, television, airplane, internet, the thing that made the Guinness Beer foamy in the can and Lulu Lemon Pants, right? They're your top five for humanity. That's where we really kicked goals there. But they're sending, so first of all, they said it wasn't illegal. So they're going to basically give people a good talking to an awarding.

They go, do you think, fucking, do you think Lizzie here enjoyed that? She didn't. She didn't. I would just remark in how she got lovely legs. I've seen her running and I said, you're a pretty little love, aren't you? He said, nice legs on you, love. Nice legs on you. And here's the thing is.

Well, did you know that that means that you're likely to rape? Okay, but also... You're on a list now. We all know that there's one girl who's getting a lot more people arrested than others. There's definitely one chick down at the station. It's like, boss, can I be involved in the undercover sting where I go for a run? And men have to wolf with me. And they go, Tanya, we're going to put you back on your old beat.

You don't have it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sally, with her ponytail, flipping back and forth side to side, She seems to be getting a lot of corporate, a lot of people. She's making a lot of rest. And then you come back, there'd be female police officers that would be trying to break each other's records. I got, well, for some, 46 times on my shift. How many of you?

Definitely looks. It was definitely looks. You know, like this? Our neighbourhood's very lovely, actually, I was out of breath the whole time. People offered me water. Yeah. Yeah, I've been running around the block the whole time. I even tried to run into Greggs to see if any of the boys in Greggs,

and I'd pick up a fucking pasty. And I came out and still nothing in me Lulu lemons. Dude, that is so funny that there's women currently trying to get in shape to be involved in that SWAT team. Oh, yeah, because it's like, this is my year. Because getting wolf whistled when you have a cop car following behind you that's going to arrest people, that's still, that's a compliment all day. there's no danger there you're having a wonderful jog you go over there all right there's a

there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a construction site i'll run around that a a few times or how about the blokes standing at the front of the women's shelter yeah we'll run past them they might be up for it could you imagine how many resources would be required if the police chief of rome in italy decided to do this you'd have to have them walking by Heshan Sachs. Like, even New York. Imagine New York police fucking with this. And by the way, I don't want to...

What town are they doing it in? This was sorry. Oh, you get some nice-looking birds and sorry. The British police kind of allowed a Pakistani grubing gang to molest thousands of girls in Rotherham. And now they're like, to make up for that, we're going to arrest people who will whistle from the buildings. sight. That's your answer to that, is it? The Pakistani rape gangs and you go, but I tell you what?

If anyone, if anyone holds their horn. I'll tell you what, and none of this would have happened if they didn't do Brexit. If they just kept the Polish builders, they never were, whistled. You never heard of Polish. And my friend, my friend, they're just trying to sell them more yoga pants. Extra stretch, very good, top quality. Oh, is this what you got? I don't know.

It looks like a tight yoga pants, but you know, maybe you eat more food, you get bigger, you want bigger pants, you might need something else, I don't know. But also that is such a honeypot situation. So like, okay, when they say beat the horn, can I tell you what I do sometimes, man and women? Yeah. And this is because I was, I'm revealing myself to be quite a cunt here, but I'm a cyclist. I like to cycle. So when you, when you go up a big, imagine how big you'd be without it. Unbelievable.

I need it in my life. And I go up the hills. And so I'm one of those people that's like wobbling as they go up a mountain. And I'm holding up traffic behind me. But when you've been a cyclist, when I see man or women riding up a hill, I give them a beep. It's a supportive beep. Beep, beep.

And I may be whine out the wind. I'm like, and I go, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb. Ale, allie. I'm like, get up there. I love seeing people exercising, particularly when I'm a big fat fuck. I'm like, well done, mate. But if I exercise, as if I watch someone exercise and I beat my horn, they'll be like, that's a sex crime.

You know what? You know what you should do to counteract. uh this if you're part of the british public and you think you might get caught if you see a woman going by in yoga pants you think might be a cop just put your head out the wind and go i wouldn't fuck it not my type love not my time can't get in trouble yeah i like a bigger girl yuck Oh, boys.

Check your yoga pants. Look like you're about to shit yourself. Keep going, love you. You're not ready yet. Yeah, it's like, I don't know, man. I'm not a woman, but I know my girlfriend loves to get a few little... What bird calls? Yeah, she loves it.

She likes the idea of a finch standing on her shoulder. She loves a Willie Wag. Next time I see Anaker, I'm going to go out this. Want to play Secret Hitler? That is my mating call, so that cucked me out. So this is what I would describe as, you know, this is a honeypot scheme. Yeah, of course. And what's the male, like, what's the male police equivalent of that?

I was thinking you could, you could get like a man and dress him up in a Rolex and nice, do lesbians get in trouble as well? they're bloody better will be yeah yeah if there's if there's a woman with half a fringe and she goes out the thing goes all right you jogging along good love like that she still get pulled up we don't we don't need this type of activity going on in our town you come over here you don't bloody treat women this way what what i was saying about the the male equivalent what would male officers try and let weed out right so you dress like you're rich and you send them to bars and you see the gold diggers come out yeah and you go we've been watching

you we've given them all we've all given them all fake Rolex and cravat fake Rolex and they go in there and we see if these women you know all want to do it and then just just just just have a fake I've won the lotto party and all these slags give one of those big checks to walk into the bar you go it isn't criminal but we're just putting you on a watch list as a woman that might You might take half of a man's shit who you don't really love. What a crime. Just know we're watching you, you're slag.

On your way. Also, I'd like to go in just a pair of hot pants into a gay club and then just arrest all of them. The most complimentary of all the bars. Yeah, so there's another one of these stories that I want to end on that's about honeypotting. Now, tell me what you think of this story. This sends shivers down the spines of men in relationships everywhere. There is a new trend, this woman says, to the New York Post. So obviously the New York Times turned this down, but the old post was right on it.

It's more at my IQ level. I didn't know they were different. So this is the story. Let's get Jim's reaction to this. Move over, private detectives. Lana Madison's the real life honey trap, taking cheating boyfriends down one flirty emoji at a time. First of all, Lana Madison is a porn name that we never got. That's a great poor name.

It's, yeah, okay, Lana Madison. The influencer, 29, who's 150,000k online funded curves turnheads, is now cashing in by helping her fellow sisters catch cheating boyfriends. With 76,000 followers across social media, she's become a go-to for girlfriends who want seats. So women go up to this hot piece of aias and they say, hey can you slide into my boyfriend's dms i've i've had this done to me many many years ago i had a girlfriend tried to do this to me many many years ago yes yeah and so this this broad slides in and tries to get some sexting going and a bit of flirtation and then screenshots at all and then

presents the file back to the wife and gives the evidence for them so that they can get the divorce right then and there now what do you reckon she charges for this service oh it would be the goodness of her heart, would it? It's for the sisterhood of the traveling pants. Yeah, and $5,000. Yeah, it's just a Spice Girls album and some girl power? I don't know.

She goes, 5,000. Did you say 5,000? 5,000 a pop is what she's charging. What, just, I'll go in there and bloody put on a fake profile. What do you mean? This is the thing. It's like, you don't need to.

Like, my, I've got my friend, I've got friends' dads who have accidentally responded to Facebook, clear bots called like, you know, a letter, big slut, 63, you go, hello, honey. And these old blocks are going, what's your name, sweetie? No, no, no, no. You can get my AI has gotten my dad several times. Exactly. Only charges three grand.

Your dad's like, I met a lovely woman called Jane X-464-3-662-1-4-9. What about, because we talked about this, Mike, my, I have an elderly relative who thinks she talks to Johnny Depp. Right, right, right. Yeah, she thinks she talks to Johnny Depp. And Johnny Depp is in Australia and he can't get his American money out. So she sends him Coles vouchers all the time. Because Johnny Depp's always like, I've got grocery shopping, and I can't funny.

Now, Coles is the equivalent of Ralphs or not, whole foods or whatever. Sorry, I need a bit of Milo. Yeah, yeah. You can check me somebody for some Milo and some dog food for pistol and boo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and so she sends him Coles vouchers. I like it because the guy's not ripping her off really badly. It's just a mild rip.

And also, she's getting value for money out of it because Johnny Depp chats to her all day. And then it gets like 20 bucks. I feel like that's fair. Yeah, that's as good as life's getting. I don't dispel that belief. Yeah, I can't tell her. You know, you keep chatting to the debt. And she's 90.

She's 90 She's in a 90 So if she fucking thinks That Johnny Depp's chatting to her Have fun Do you think women Do you think like women could hire you To slide into their husbands

Sorry like husbands Could hire you to slide into their wives DMs? I don't think I'm popular with women in any way How much? Let's advertise your services And see if we get anything Have you watched my comedy?

I don't think that there's Not a lot of women who fancy me as a celebrity i'm not a desirable celebrity my wife i somehow likes me i'm very like can you please do me a favor right now go on your instagram yeah i haven't i haven't got my phone on me go i want you to go into your insights and tell me the breakdown of male to female oh i can tell you 23% female i know i know i know this already this is no problem 23% yeah yeah yeah it's a circle like this and it's all blue with a little quarter of pink over here and what's crazy about that is you've only started posting bullshit about the fucking

bachelor in the last three years so those women are new but they weren't there before oh no no no these are you got you you can't slip into my DMs we will bet the computer will push you away you've gone to the wrong side so let's let's talk this out I reach out to you when I go Jim yes I want to know after Miguel is legit yeah and when it comes to when it comes to it I know she's a big comedy fan. Yeah. So if I give you two grand. Yeah.

Oh, fucker. Can you get into her DMs? Can you invite her to a show? Mm-hmm. Well, she's already coming to a show. She's missing an arm and a leg. So when she's back there. Buddy Jim Jeffrey show, they cost you an arm and a leg.

When she's back there, can you say you want to come back to my hotel room and then find out whether she says yes or no? Would you do that? for a man would you help a brother out and test it because i see a lot of these videos in the internet where guys do that pick up artists no i think i would i think i would because you know it's nice to be able to flirt for free and to know that someone might want to fuck you so it would do wonders for me and wonders for him and uh yeah and then there's it you have to explain to your wife then it would have to be very exact i would have to know completely but actually no you know what

nah i wouldn't do it i wouldn't do it would you do it would i do that yeah they used to be what do you mean will i do that i can't make rent there used to be a female if these feet were attractive they'd be on the neck yeah this is i'm telling you we we had this what we do is right right we start our only fans are just our feet and see you can make more money because my feet are pretty supple although this foot here has a mole on it which they the doctors want to cut out dude how do you even get a mole on you you fucking albino how did you you had one hour on the beach once putting your feet up and you got cancer yeah that's on that foot the mole on that foot you can see a scar there where that one's been cut out see the scar there there was a mole on that

one i used to have two i think it's because i was jesus if we had a contest to see you could make more money from the feet let me tell you'd win have you said my toes are missing i've got two toes uh not missing but the nails are gone it's it's rancid i now wear This is not a joke. I wear the closed-off burke, the clog. I used to have Birkenstocks open, and I've gone to clogged, closed-off, and out of respect to my fellow man. I got a hairy big toe. I can platt that cut, man.

Well, that's fair to say, folks, that we've trailed off here in the news segment of the show. It's come to an end. Also, Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump met. And that is what's making. Oh, God, that's foul. I can't do that, man. Cancel that bit. Oh, it's, it's an alfalfa.

Please. It really upsets me. Good night, Australia.