I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 31 - The Urban Myth

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

At this moment, Jim and Amos are currently in Helsinki, Finland. They talk about Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman's divorce, the new AI actress, and how Americans are terrible at cheering. Jim's new special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix! SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠ FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠   Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠   Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

Hello, everyone. Welcome to At this moment with me, Jim Jeffries and... Hey, Moske. We are here in Helsinki, still on the European tour that never ends, this journey of accumulating as much gout as we possibly can. We have some dates to sell. I'm going to start off by saying Jim Jeffries.com for tickets. All his European dates, all these UK dates are available there. I myself am coming to Charlotte. I'm coming to Greenville, South Carolina and Phoenix. Please come out and see. those shows. I've sold all my Amsterdam shows out. So thanks to everybody from Amsterdam who bought my tickets. That was good of them. And I'm probably going to do some Finland shows. And if you're in a European country and you saw me and you think I should come to yours, slide into my DMs, tell me where I'll show it to the promoters.

But other than that, we just did a podcast here in your hotel. We're going to be talking about how the Americans can't chain at sports. They can't chat at sports. We're going to talk about the new AI actress that is shaking up Hollywood. Plus, we discuss men's mental health. The divorce of Nicole Kimman and Keith Urban. Our nation is in mourning. You're ready to go.

There's going to be a big one, kids. If you're sitting and listening at home, you're about to hear one of the greatest podcasts in the history of the podcast. Good evening. Hello, everybody. Hello. Good morning, depending where you are.

Happy travel to work day. If you're in your car and happy sitting at home If you're a quadriplegic We want to entertain you all I'm not sure about this couch We've got going You don't like the couch We're in Finland right now

We're on a love seat Not a couch The sets get worse It's a love seat We were going to record this one Yeah Inside, Jim has a sauna Inside his room

And I thought it'd be funny If we did this episode Not nude But just sort of in jocks in a sauna I didn't want to show my body off I was too shy and I thought it'll always be on the internet. They would go back to that quite often

when they want to lampoon you. Yeah, yeah, no, I just wear one of the... But our tour of gout carries on. I'd do it in a burker. We've been going for six or seven weeks or whatever it's been in Europe. Six weeks... My joints hurt.

We're in Finland right now. Home of the fighting fish. Finland's good. Well, we just got in. It's... Lovely hotel. It's your more Russian of the Scandy people. Scandy people, they've got the most

what do you want type of attitude to them when they try to when they serve you, they're like, this is food. I'm trying to sell tickets here to my own show. I don't want to, but are they the most attractive of the Scandy bunch? No. But they're not bad. They're pretty cool.

All the Scandinavian... Good car drivers. They're into like extreme sports. I'm a big fan of all the Scandinavian countries. I like their no-nonsense approach to life. Yeah, we were just talking with a friend who's going through a divorce with a Scandinavian woman and he was like they're just cold

they're just cold it's a cold environment that's what exactly they're very matter of fact I've decided I no longer love you you know this is enough of this I'm sick of this now no Jim we enjoyed the show but you were better before yes I'm still a fan

still a fan but you know like bring back gun control okay I liked when you would make comments about your morbidly obese mother yes why have you not mentioned the fat woman who raised you. That is always so much fun. Since she is dead, your comedy

goes south. I know. Oh, is that what you enjoy, Amos? Making fun of me. As long as I can do that, boys, my mother lives on. I close my eyes. She's always...

She's in my smile. She's in my son's eyes. She's in your smile. I see her more when you're complaining. At me. Whenever I hear myself being irrational very quickly, I think to myself, she's with us

she's with us right now you see her face in the clouds my mother looked all at once like an 80 year old person and a small baby every now and again like you know when like like the way Churchill did

yeah exactly okay so you know her like you'll have Halloween and you have the baby out for us there's that period where you go through when you when you get to decide what the kid will be for Halloween then the kid gets to decide where it is

but the first few years and I remember looking through there was one baby that was modeling like would be bat girl or whatever that fucking looked like mum like that and I just sent a picture to my brother and he just wrote back, Mum!

We didn't discuss it, he didn't go Why have you sent me a picture of a baby? He's just, mum, mum. I'm going to tingle down the spine. It's good to have mums. We've still got a mother. I told you that was like... My mum goes through the podcast

with a fine-tooth comb pointing out how cruel I am. for a gag She should go through her teeth with a fine tooth code Now I am Nata I'm a big fan I'm only making fun of you

My My mother used to Listen to the podcast And then she made up a friend That used to get offended On her behalf Yeah she used to go Susan says you're cruel to me

Oh she goes My friend DEDE listens to your podcast And she says You say horrible things about me and I was like why are you fucking listening to the podcast then? She goes I'm not listening to it

D-D is. And I've known you for a long time who the fuck's Dedy? I remember the one of the first times... Who the fuck's Dede? She goes she's a friend of mine and then I went well tell Dedy to stop fucking listening to her if she's just going to make your live help. I go why is Dedy even listening to the podcast? She goes

Ah Dedy likes it. I remember the first time I was touring with you. We're at the end more and your mum came down there and you and Andrew our manager you were like, your job is to make sure she can't get up to listen. Yeah, she can't get up to listen.

And then there was a speaker in the venue which we had to bust. We had to break it. Unplug it. Had to unplug the speaker. So she couldn't hear. And she was down there and she needed someone to get her up

and she found me to be the weak point. And she was like, hey, your job's to help Jeffrey. Well, he would want me up there. To listen. I'd give her express rules that she wasn't allowed anymore. I said, you can't come

because every time you come to a show, you're fucking complaints so you're not allowed to come to comedy shows anymore. And then she went, I just want to come backstage and enjoy the atmosphere with everyone. And if you were a real man, that's what she said to me.

If you're a real man, you'd let your mother come backstage, but evidently you're not. Well, I want to plug into some news off the top here. Okay. We are in Europe, and we had the writer cup, which I absolutely loved.

We were watching it in a bar in Norway, I was going for the Americans. I'm American, an American citizen. I was going for the Americans. Very proudly going for the Europeans who got the win. I don't even watch Liv Golf. It offends me too much. What does he you don't like about Liv?

I don't know. Just cropped in it. I don't know. Well, let's move on. Because I want to talk about Ryder Cup. Yeah. One thing we've always known about the Americans if you're a football fan or soccer

is they can't chant. Oh, no, no, no. The Brits can chant. Okay. This is the thing that the Americans will net... You get told when to do things in America. Let's go, Dodgers, let's go, right? I can make your hands clap.

They also have this real lame one in the socket, which is this. Fight and win! Yeah, yeah. Who's house? Our house. Like this. They're fucking lame. Childlike.

No, they can't do it. They can't do it. And then, like, if there's downtime, one because all their, also because all their sports are the only sports in the world that have timeouts because they're the only sports where just start for a second and they have to start because they're going to need advertising to go into. So I agree with the cheerleaders and all that type of stuff. For obvious reason.

You sort of need timeouts in basketball because you need to be able to change players in and out and sort of have little moments and stuff like that. But I get the cheerleaders, but we went and saw Fullham play, Fullen Play leads, terrible game. Own goal scored by Leeds at the end was the only reason we won't. But at half time, fucking nothing. Nothing. And the whole stadium doesn't stop singing the whole time.

That's when you're going to go get your chipbutter. And you go, who makes up the songs? Where do the songs come from? Everybody asks the same question. Do they all get together? Have they got an email? No, I went to the supporters pub. I watched my brother's a big Everton family.

We went to this pub where all the Everton diehards go. They were handing out sheets for new tunes. they've banged up that week for new players and they kind of practice it there and then it builds out from there and then people pick it up pretty quick but this is like my favourite tweet of all time. I'm going to play you

some of American chants in the writer cup but this is my favourite tweet ever. It's by someone called Troupled Genius. This is just the best thing. It says American sports fans defense defense. There goes British sports fans. All right lads I've just worked up a song to the tune of

Debussy's Claire DeLoon about the opposing player's most recent drink driving charge I'll count us off. It's just so good. So here we go. Also the thing is about, okay, so when they all sing and stuff, you can feel the emotion in the stadium. When Americans do,

I don't believe that Freddie Freeman's ever gotten up to hit the ball or Tarnie. Let's go Dodgers. Let's go. And then guys. Forced monotonyers. They've got me. They've won me over with this. Here we go.

So this is an MC. having a difficult day at the office. Okay, so let's stress that up. What they've done here is because for the writer cup, America versus Europe, they've thought the Europeans are all singing wonderful songs and the Americans go, we'll organize something. We'll do something to the other people.

We'll show them. We'll show them. Yeah, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. This has got five million views because the whole world's gone, my God, this is not their strong point. Also, let's also mention, before we start this clip, that this is all white Americans.

It's a golf So it's the golf Slow down You guys all took out around this morning Slow down Here we go One, two, clap One two clap

Right Right Boom Boom boom Boom boom Boom boom Here's got it now Here come no lyrics

Scotty Scotty Shepler All right, hold on, I'm gonna let the four fathers try to do this. Hang it, is that a lighty or? Just a lighty. Oh, okay. It doesn't work, I'm gonna do a douche dechette and bourne. Right?

We want the whole crap rocking when you stand there. The heroes have started singing, oh, la, la, la, la. Ready? One more time. We'll start out. One, two, three. Scotty, Scotty Sheffler. I've never seen a stronger argument for DEI in sports

like watching those half fucking pissed Bostonians try and get a chant going. You need black people with the golf course. Dink, Dink, Scotty, Scotty, Sheple. That would make me play. way worse. I'd be furious. And that woman realized she was bombing and she ended up getting fired that day because she's the one that started the

fuck you, Rory. Yeah, yeah. So... Because instead of going for positivity, they were like, these animals need a hate-filled chant. Yeah. And that's what got people going. And then there's been a big fallout. Like Rory McElroy is already sort of despised by a lot of golf fans because he lost

a lot of friends in the live golf arguments and they seem as like a goody two-shoes type character. And he doesn't get on with Deschambo, who is the ultimate sort of American lad? Right. He's an embodiment and he plays with Trump and stuff of that. Do you think the reason that Americans can't do the chance and all that's all that's up? And Australia's not brilliant.

We've got Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy, Oye, Oie, Oie, Oie. We can't, you know. It's a bit of an embarrassment. The Aussie, Ozzy, Ozzie, Ozzie, I just go, oh no. As long as I don't have to drink out of a shoe, I'll be happy for the day. Have you ever seen someone try to be the Aussie, Ozzy, Aussie guy and then it hasn't worked? That's got to be, it's one of the most humiliating things in the world.

I was talking about this the other day. I do hip-hips at parties, right? The Americans don't do hoorayes. I've just gone, hip-hip at the end. Yeah, but imagine in your own country. Oh, if you go... Drunk at the cricket? Ozzy, Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.

And people go, we don't, you don't have gravitas. There used to be a comedian. I can't remember his name in Britain. And his whole thing that he used to do was he used to do balloon animals. and he used to bring on stage blokes to do re-enact Robin Hood, right? And he do sound effects and stuff

and he'd make like a inflatable bow and arrow and a sword, an inflatable horse I think was involved or a shield or something like this and then he goes and can we have some people on stage we'll get you, you come over

and he goes bring you on stage now you are the sheriff of Nottingham you're the bad guy boo boo, boo everyone boo him boo, pad of mine booed and then he goes bring up and this is your hero Robin Hood and he clearly brought up the lad

that was the least-like kid at fucking university who was just struggling his way through fucking school and the other kid was the most popular kid in the thing. Okay, everyone, girls, now you swoon whenever Robin Hood does this and they were girls were just like, boo.

Like this and I was like, oh, take the pull that off. He doesn't want to be up there. He doesn't want to be up there. Anyway, then they go to have the sword fight. He's one of those kids that has like a to kill list, you know those weird he brought a knife with good cause

and so then he he has to sword fight with the other kid sword fight sword fight and the other kid who's the bully just gets him into a headlock and just hold him

like this in further class where everyone choose and he goes ugh like that the guy's like he was like American dude who lived in Britain

he's like no no no no no no you got to separate there so that was you just watched the man be torn apart I just that kid had to go to another college

well that reminds me a little bit of this man's speech at the UN. Yahoo! Serious. That's what I call him. That's his comedy act. Here's the people walking out on Bibi. You know what was really crazy about Bibi? Right.

He's still around me. He did this speech. Okay. Just so, hold on, let me finish this. Okay, okay. So he finished, so he does his speech. It doesn't go great, obviously. He's currently being accused of leading up a genocide.

Hey, hey, I've been accused of worse. so he's been naughty naughty and then you'd think maybe if you're in his position you would say to the UN I understand that we're the social pariah right now there's horrible scenes when you wage a war there is going to be innocent lives lost

you have to understand we are trying our absolute best to minimize casualties here's our stats our heart bleeds for this as well but this is a mission that we are on that we have whatever his BS is going to be he lacks so much charisma he actually went out there and did a bit of a gag about pages

whereas he was losing the crowd and he went and you remember what we did to the people of Hezbollah yeah we called them and they got the message and he pauses and gets five claps and then the camera pans and it's just the other Israeli delegation he's like that when their plane went down we found the black box why don't they make the plane out of the black box material

same material Benjamin Netanyahu is serious So he had a big crash out there And they've apparently agreed He could actually do young Einstein They've agreed to a peace deal So the good news is it's over

Okay well no Kate The peace deal has been agreed to Today while we're recording it And Trump had a lot to do with the peace deal And it's meant From what I can understand is The hostages are all coming back They're going to get rid of their political prisoners

And everyone's just going to play nice for a bit And they're going to move out the borders Until the Palestinians can have a little bit more space Yeah, that's going to be a four-seasons Well, yeah That was the brochure that I saw them put out on the internet Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not going to be Trump, Gaza

Hey, look, look, look, I don't know how your engagement's going But I think it'll be ready for your wedding, honeymooh. Yeah, you think that's a good opportunity Up and Park of Tourism I think if you want to save a few shekels, I tell you what, go down to... Well, when will the time come that we do go, these people need our money?

Well, okay, so in very serious, because... And so Tony Blair... Very, very seriously. How do we rebuild Gaza now? How do you rebuild it? How do you rebuild it? What's the next step? It's one thing to go ceasefire.

Contractors who are close and donated to Trump's campaign? No, no, not Israel. Like, like, how do you... For the Palestinians, how do you rebuild there? Yeah, they're going to need foreign investment. So basically it's going to be colonized by global investment. They will go in there, but probably build them low-income housing, put them in sort of ghetto housing,

and then they'll do a Riviera with Jared Kushner and whoever the other investment groups are that will build luxury hotels and some kind of Mediterranean paradise, and they'll put the Palestinians into the box houses like the Soviet Union. it's it's not that nice like israel i've gig there i've done gigs in israel um if they all go on about oh we've got a beach it's not that nice a beach it's all right they keep saying this is this is going to be what's so nice about Gaza that they're going to make it into it's the med it's very really the med that people talk about when they romanticise the med but it's supposedly going to be

the most valuable land in the world to get but why because it's the it's the it's the medit ready let's look it up also but it's got so it's got bad mojo it's like the vibes are off with real estate agent it's like when you get a house where someone's topped themselves in the living room right and you go i don't want the telly there right so what you think when you when you go oh four seasons i don't think i don't think that i could comfortably go honey we're going to the four seasons gaza for a like 20th wedding anniversary it's in 15 years did you see this one this one to me is... It's three blokes.

It's three blokes who are in a polyamorous relationship. They're in a thruple. They're a thruple. Three gay men, together, have adopted a kid. That's what used to have the joke when you're a kid. What do you, three guys are fucking,

what do you call the guy in the middle? Double adapter. Yeah, all right. I feel like that's something that I'll never be able to achieve, though. Having my dick penetrate plus being penetrated at the same time by a dick. I don't...

I'll live without it. But I'm just sure, like, is that like the prime position? If your three blokes fucking is the one in the middle, is that like, oh, fucking Gary always gets the middle. What do you always get the middle for? He's a two-way player.

Yeah, yeah. And then there's just one blake. It's just like, I just get fucked in the ass, that's it. I have a wank off to the side. Well, because one of them doesn't want to maybe get fucked in his ass. He's the giver. I think if you get fucked in the ass, you're having your cock pulled. I don't think you just leave it or wrecked, like just dangling out.

I believe you work it a bit. These aren't things I contemplate at night time, but when you're there in the sauna after this, you'll think that through. You'll come to me. saw it. Have you seen my big fire stack there? What the fuck is that? I don't know. I want to play this video. Let's learn together about this because I saw

classic me, I saw a headline and went oh, that's fucking ridiculous. So let's see what we actually think of the story. I think three, look, look, okay, first of all, first of all, before we start the story, this is what I'm going to mean I'll take before I hear it, right? We wish it should finish up with the Gaza thing. Yeah, I don't know. Obviously the peace plan has to be

signed by my house. I hope by this podcast next week that they have resolved what's going on. Yeah, but here's the thing, right? So part of the plan is, once they release the hostages is that then Israel has to release 1,700 prisoners and also there's going to be an armistice and again, I remember this

when the Yugoslavian wars were finished was they just did an amnesty and said all right, we all did crazy stuff you might be accused of being a war criminal this was a war criminal but Hamas we're just going to let you go and you can go move somewhere else as long as you hand in your weapons

you move on your life right? Now that is their whole rationale was we need to eradicate all of Hamas so we can move forward and now they're going to be signing this deal. Hamas, a lot of them are going to be moving to other Arab states, right? Yeah, they'll go over to Jordan, Qatar, Egypt

or if they're accepted, they might not be accepted. More than likely they'll end up in Sydney. I would just say I'm not Hamas anymore. And they go, are you harass? I go, not to my knowledge. Depends which package you're offering me in Canada. Yeah, Vancouver. Not to my knowledge, so I don't know.

Yeah, I was Amas. So that's like, that's a weird one to just move back after all this war and go, all right, we just move forward. What else do you do? Oh, it's difficult, isn't it? You can't have like a Nuremberg trial, I guess, but there's never going to happen with this war. Anyway, so three gay guys,

you're going to get upset because this is left wing, gone crazy, why should three people, blah, blah, blah. But I promise you, there are people being raised by two heterosexual people with another woman who sort of lives in the house. That's happened all the time, right? And two gay guys could adopt a child and not mention they have a third bloke.

who's always there. That would happen all the time. Yeah, but you're getting... It's the fact that they're putting out like 60 minutes to normalise that... You're going to get angry at these lads for being honest. It was like, we want gay marriage. Okay, and now all of a sudden it's...

There's three of us living together and you have to recognize that as a full institutional, accepted thruple and we adopt children. What? Yeah, you don't need kids. What are we doing? Let's watch the story.

I might be way off. I'm going to see. In years, John. Jonathan Bedard, Eric Leblanc, and Justin Moe. They're also from Quebec. All right, wait a minute. I didn't know they were all Frenchy. They're French Quebecers.

What's wrong with this? They would have big hairy penises because it's natural. Become parents together, something that officially happened yesterday. She's perfect, of course. Like Annie, she's curious, she's energetic. She loves to play. She loves to jump. She loves to dance.

They adopted their three-year-old through Quebec's youth protection services, but first had to be approved as foster parents, something that required a lot of work and openness, they say, to their relationship. We had a lot of things to go through in order to be able to have that accreditation. And it's through that process. If they break up, so the kids got three dads to pick from, who gets custody? And if the kids grow up as well, it's like, oh, you meet a boy, yeah, he's saying about me, I've got three dads on Christmas, we've got to go to three different joints because they

I know that's irritating is all fuck. You're having to go to different places. In the thruple, I'm looking at him, I reckon the guy in the black t-shirt, he's getting the least action. I've always said, look, if there was a plenigamous marriage and I had, you know, three wives, four wives, you'd want them to do different things, right? You'd have the one that's the good fuck and you'd have the one that's the good cook and then the one that you watch telly with, right?

The one who's like your mate who you watch telly with. Everyone's got a roll, yeah. Yeah, everyone's got a roll. And then there'd be one that there'd be Bertha, who's just in charge of the school run. Yeah, admin. Yeah, she's just in front of admin. She's just, she just, what have you got there? Okay, your dad's got to have to see that for him.

You know, I'll pick up this one. You got her. And then you'd have just Cindy come down in lupitons and all those stuff. Why she always getting gifts? You know why she gets gifts? Why does Cindy always have to be vacuous whores? In my stand-up post. Cindy always.

I always make Cindy sound like it's a girl in her 20s, but really there's no Cindy under 40 years old. I don't know Cindy who's under 60 at this point. I'm looking at it now. And you know what I think about the gays? It's like, these are three bear-type gays. They're not bear-type gays at all. They've just got be beards.

They're not bears. Bears have to be fat and got hairy-shy-shy. They're otters or whatever. But I'm like... They're audits or whatever. Aren't these guys meant to be just taking drugs and partying wild? Like, what's the adoption? No, what happens is they're humans.

You're three. No, they're humans just like us. and they age out of the party. I think it must be very hard for when a gay guy gets like, and he doesn't have kids and he gets over 50. I think it must be hard because it's like... Yeah, so do what everyone else does. Be a talented musician or performer

and get a wife and have a kid with that person and then go off and have dirty, passionate sex in saunas. That way you get the family and you maintain a crazy sex life. I know someone who buys eggs, who bought the eggs, had his kids. And then I'm kind of envious because people say that you need two parents, right? But it would be wonderful to raise your kids with all of your rules. Because there's so much compromise. It's like a company with two bosses.

That was like Cristiano Ronaldo. Exactly. He just got a kid and was like, I'm going to mold him into exactly me. And then he used his mother for the maternal kids. Exactly. I get big sweeping parenting moments in my head. house. I get the, we're not doing this. This is the thing. You're, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. I get punishments. I get big swimming. But little tiny things like, I always wanted my kids to

drink more milk than both the women in my life. They both were like, oh, no, it's actually not that good for them. I was like, I was always bought up. It's good for your bones and shit. Makes you tall. This is your contention. This is not enough milk. No, but it was one of the, no, I'm just saying that is one of those things that, obviously, I just dropped it because, but that's, if I was parenting, you'd be getting loads of milk at them. I'm all for the milk. And I'm lactose intolerant. They're the ones who really should be giving the milk. Maybe you were making up for something that they didn't have. Maybe that's why they didn't like the milk, as you said, it was a threat

to their womanhood deep down as you didn't think that they were... I don't know, but neither my kids fucking like milk, bro. So I did something wrong. No, maybe the titty milk was no good. No, no, no, they liked the titty milk. They did. Yeah, they both like the titty milk. They just didn't drink regular milk afterwards. But you know what I mean, little things like that. or things like, like, I always have to push for the kids not to quit something too quickly, where women will, in my experience, we'll just go, if you don't want to do it, that's okay.

And I'm like, no, you've got to see it through. Do you think in the modern world? I do think in the modern world. Because there was so many, and I knew some growing up in a small country town even, which was married men who had the kids, and they were gay. So they were gay. And I remember this one guy, I'm not going to say his name,

but he used to have. houseboat and like it was notorious that he would have gay parties on his houseboat and it was like the town thing happiest bloke around good family man very clearly got things out of his system

and I always remember thinking I feel like that guy doesn't exist anymore with the openness of homosexuality now they're doing the tragedy of all relationships where before it was a dirty little secret I heard from a gay friend of mine that the gay community are missing out on their hetero gays.

The broke back mountain guys. The guys who are married, who before camera phones were just going to a gay nightclub, keep their hat down, just like this, and just wait. They were waiting because those guys used to fuck them right. There was a lot of pent up, whatever, and now everyone's fabulous and out.

They're missing the closet boys. I remember having an argument with a sexologist about this at the fringe. Did she have a fringe like that? Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A person at the fringe festival, with a fringe that goes halfway down a forehead. You're not winning that fight. You're a bad person, no matter what you've done.

She seemed to enjoy my stand-up comedy, but she said to me, you're very repressed human being and you have so many hang-ups about the way people live their lives. And, you know, if you're a little bit more open and your Catholicness means I think your sexuality can't be fully explored.

And I said to her, your age group, she's like a Gen Zeta. I remember you're all talking about what gets you off and what you are and how you identify. But I don't think your sex, is anywhere near as exciting as people that were doing it on the sly when being homosexual was a problem.

And so they had to meet up in dark, dangerous places. They would have been the best orgasms of all time. A man shooting his load into a twink when he wasn't allowed to in a sauna is a way better orgasm than a girl being like, you know, I'm going to give you the full rundown of exactly what I want, and here's all the toys that I have, and here's all the permissibility.

The glory holes, now might have closed in on themselves they haven't had any of this program there's been atrophy of the glory hole yeah like earrings when you don't keep putting the earring in the holes closed up it's a good that's a good david adams documentary the glory holes that have closed back over there's just moss has covered them and there's bits of vines it's been a long time now since bears with great big cocks plunge through these holes there used to be covered with moss there's this there's this place in west hollywood where you could get hand jobs and stuff called Vasily, right?

And so when you went to prison, a lot of blokes would go, oh, I'm gay, so they could be putting a different bit of prison on the first day. Right. Because you're going to put in. So that was like the trans thing of its day. Yeah, yeah, you're going to go. And there was a quiz that the cops had that ask certain questions, like, where's the glory holder, blah, blah, blah.

And if you can answer that question, oh, yeah, he's gay, right? And one of the questions was, where's the question? Vaseline Alley and I thought I'll always remember where Vaseline Alley was in case they ever get arrested I'll be in the back of the cop car

like this I know where Vaseline Alley is Do you know Have you ever seen this How to Spot a Homosexual from like old policing guides Right Okay

How to spot a homosexuality Have you ever seen the movie Two One Fu Thank you for everything Julie Neumar Where Patrick Swayze Was a cross-dress And it was just

Priscilla Queen in the Desert it, right? And Sean Penn's brother is in it. You remember Sean Penn's brother? He's passed away since. Well, Sean Penn's brother, he's passed away. And he's a cop, and he has to go find the homosexuals in town. And he has a list of places to check.

Right, right. Where they might be? Yeah, florist. Flores. And then he's like this. Not in there, he scratches it off. Oh, I'm trying to find where this is. Here we go.

It's like, it says, like, okay, their light on their toes. would be a guide for the cops. Yes. Color matched outfits. Yeah, for the way that they would walk, they would do... There was anonymous tip-offs, security risk, reputation, okay,

reputational harm, so it would be they would go up to people who they thought were associating with gays. Okay, so in World War II, I didn't want to get into gay history, but in World War II, right, when people were reporting, oh, there's a Jewish family down the road, right?

Right, right. There must have been people ringing up like this guy. Like could Kevin gay? Oh, no doubt. And I bet you there was a lot of fucking you know, witchcraft shit. Like Salem and stuff. Don't forget Oscar Wild had to

he was... Oscar Wilde had to... He was booted. He should have been arrested for that stupid quote that everyone says they enjoy but no one enjoys. I have nothing to declare except my genius. Except for my genius. If you said that in customs, they'd be like,

what? I've only got my genius to declare. Also, who knows? Who notes? at that day. So how long will you be in the country for? With my genius. Three days. What are you here for, Bachelor Party? Okay.

I'm surprised he didn't say. How long will you be here for? As long as it takes me to make my mark. So just a couple of days. Yeah. As long as it takes for me to be the smartest person in the country, so I should be leaving it now. Don't even need to leave the airport.

Nothing to clear about my genius. Who wrote that down? Was that like the border security person? You would believe. this fuck wit said to me today or did he brag about it he had to have bragged about it there's no way so he was walking around to everyone saying so i'm getting into the country right i'm going into the country and they say if you got anything to declare and i was going i had a whole carton of cigarettes but i was going to say i was going to say i had a travel in my anus

yeah 15 bottles of baby all but i thought no no what i'll do is my genius my genius my genius Nothing to Claire but me genius. Speaking of geniuses, I can see what you've just pulled up there. What's that? Nicole Kidman is filed. Nicole Kidman files for divorce from Keith Urban. That would suggest that Nicole is done with Keith.

Well, we're Australian, so we had to touch on this. First of all, to the Kidman family. It must be so nice that I don't have to pretend you like Keith Urban's music anymore. Antonio, your Christmas has just gotten easier, hasn't it? Antonio Kidman? Because does anyone, I've always been blown away when I moved to America, how big he is. as an Aussie you're like that died as country?

I don't know any of his songs It's the most metro man I've ever seen Yeah I don't know any of these songs I'll tell you an old police officer Might ask him if he knows where Vaseline Ali is Just by looking at him An old police officer with an old Indian And an old biker

And an old construction worker Kidman filed for divorce on Tuesday, September 30 So she's 59 now In Nashville where the couple has lived I didn't know they lived in Nashville Okay he must be stepping out With some younger birds or something Because at 59, it's just, why would you buy?

You must really dislike each other. It's just a hassle to get new houses. You think he's having sex with other people? Well, you're wrong. It's actually irreconcilable differences. Yeah, the irreconcilable difference is that they've had sex. He's having sex with younger birds on the road. And they just can't reconcile that?

Yeah, and she's just like this. I'm done with fucking men. Like, who's she going to date next? Well, the pair were married in June 2006 after meeting in L.A. And she had a kid with him. 17 and 14, two kids. Yeah, and she had her adopted kids with Tom Cruise, so she doesn't get to see, which is very sad.

I feel sorry for her about that. That must be terribly hard for a person. Nicole Kippen was filming Practical Magic 2 in London, and Urban was travelling on his high in a live war tour. Now, I hear that he just fired his entire band, also in the last. Is that true, or is it just an urban myth? Just hold on with Jack will have. That's the name.

the episode. If Jack could just get some... That's the name of the episode. Balloons to go off there, celebrate that one. Have you met her before? And where is Nicole Kidman? I have not met. You haven't met her at a good day LA or anything like that?

No, I... Russell's good friends with her. He's like besties with her. But I've only heard nice things about her. Anyone who knows it says nice thing. I had working for me, someone who worked for her for many years that worked on the Jim Jeffrey show, who you know. But I couldn't say that.

Yes. Oh yeah, my old boss of radio was her personal assistant. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Keith Urban fired long-time band members, Jerry Flowers and Nathan Barlow in January of 2025. What's Jerry Flowers going to do? Fuck, he can't start a new band. He's too old.

Nicole, probably. I reckon, okay, all right, so this is the room we're going to sit out. So everyone just go, hashtag Jerry Flowers, wherever you can, because we all reckon Jerry Flowers has been slipping it into Nicole. flowers has been going in to Nicole. No doubt about it. And that's what broke up the band.

And so he broke up the band. And he's like, I'll just do it like Ed Shearing. I don't need any of you cunts. There's a loop pedal now. Just give me a pedal and give me a guitar and I'll be good. But I guess, like, if you would have divorced, if you would have to get rid of me and Forrest. It's hard divorce, man. The kids are teenagers.

I feel sorry for celebrities or anything. Fucking shit divorce. We just watched a friend. We've got a few divorced friends at the moment. Toby. Yeah, it's fucking heavy. man it's heavy if you can muscle out the relationship it's worth it it's muscle it out man we did have a friend who's going through a hard spot from a divorce we were hanging out with and i'll say

this there's a lot of talk about men's mental health and how you need to talk to each other but we do need some kind of course on what to say because sometimes a person will be telling you dark things and you decide this yeah yeah yeah we women go yeah he was never good enough for you he never understood you. We're just so happy and so proud of the new you that you're going to become. Yeah, and we go like this. You can't see it yet. We can see it.

Don't kill yourself. Yeah, we're like this. So, maybe buy a new top or something. I don't know. Just try to freshen things up. Have you fucked anyone else? Well, this was the thing I felt like when we were talking to it. And we've got a myriad of friends going through it right now.

A lot of my friends. Your age group. And also people I know who are other parents at the school and stuff like that. My age group is Divorce City right now. So you're in your late 40s. Yes, 48. So a lot of people are falling through there. And I was, I have, so I've had to talk to a lot of guys at this age in our profession.

And you're getting into it. And I'm getting into it. So they're giving me this one. Don't do it. Mike, if you thought it through. Because if you goes off the rails, it'll fucking destroy you. You won't even, you won't even. be able to know who you are anymore.

You're completely lost. You become a husker shell. And one day you'll look at, before you're even 50 and think, what's the point of carrying on? And you think it's just for the kids. And then the kids don't even bloody talk to you anymore. And you just think, well, if they don't fucking want me, then what's my purpose of the whole world?

Because I gave up all my friends and my ambitions for her and we moved to her small town. And now I'm just stuck in this place where no one knows me, no one likes me. And I don't feel like I've got anywhere to go. I actually don't have a home. It is a very common thing with all the men that I know as well, is the women go, I want to live closer to mum and then they live closer to mum and then they all fucking leave them.

It's fucking brutal, this is one thing. I am not moving to any small town with my wife that she picks. I've seen it too many times. And my read on the situation is, is there's a... So I used to do this joke,

which was if your girlfriend finds a sassy gay friend at work, be very careful because that's like an employee joining a union. She's going to have a whole lot of opinions about how you guys should be living better

and she should be getting treated better. Oh, I had a person who worked for me. We all know who got a girlfriend and then that girlfriend did not like me or whatever and then that was the end of my relationship with that person. You know what I mean? And so I think there's a lot of, I'm seeing a lot of people your age who are getting into divorce

which I say is the last scream, the primal scream of your hormones going out where you go, I might have one last window to have this new fantasy life with somebody else where you've still got testosterone and you've got to fuck and you've got to live your dreams. My experience has been more women leave the men at my age than the men leave the women.

Women are doing it. The men leave very early on in a relationship. This isn't working out. We're two years in. We don't have any kids. Let's cut the cord. I'm out of here. And then the women have been thinking about it for years

and then they finally build up to it and the man is completely taken by surprise. And they just go, I don't want to talk about it, but it's over. Yes. And the man just, well, because women don't think they're, can tell their friend, I'm not into you anymore and I haven't loved you for years because

that's probably how long it takes for them to uncouple in their brain. They've already left you. And then I talk to them and I think that's always really sad because in my mind, your age is the most dangerous years of the marriage because once you get through that and you are just when you cross over to old, then you're just an old couple who have each other's company and your grandparents. When we're both old and ugly and there's no good pussy or no good cock to be gotten from either Thomas, then you just settle into it.

That's why I'm very... That's why you've got to be with your wife or your husband. You've got to be mates. You've got to have each other's back. You've got to be a team. Don't stop talking. I'm telling you, it's like a fucking... It's like a pop plant.

They're nice to have in the house, but if you don't tend to the thing, it'll fucking with her away. It'll die. Particularly when you go away. Oh, yeah, especially when you go away. You've got to have someone go over there at services. You've got to call your best friend and go,

can you make sure she'll... She gets a bit alive. Can someone shove a dick up her and feed the cats? Because here's one. Like you said, you get old and ugly. And then it's like, well, we might as well stick together and then the kids have a home because I think that's the, they're the best phases, right, is like the early phase.

And I love watching an old couple that have been with each other forever. And they have a house that's a museum, a museum of an entire family. And all the grandkids come there. And it's like, wow, this is Nat and Pop's house. Once you make Nat and Pop, you're fine. You're going to, you're going to, but they're the dangerous years right there. and maybe... People think there's one last window of happiness

and also what happens... And you fuck it for everyone. What happens to women when they're about 40, they start to go, surely there's more to life than this. Yeah. Right?

And the truth of the matter is, it really isn't. No. They really isn't. Every single one of my mates has had the thing the woman has been running off with another fella.

Run off with another fella. That's just running off with another fella, right? Yeah. And it's not like... And then that fling loses it's heat and they're like I don't, it's not like I want to be single and I want to be, that's

very rare. They've moved on to a different person and they've cut you out in their head over time. So maybe there's a problem with the fact that everyone's clearly looking younger for longer. I think... That's funny because my mother at 40, no one was scooping her up off the evening. That's why marriage

has last longer because people hit 40 and then just fucking aged like milk in the sun. We should all go back to smoking. Everyone should be smoking. There should be no lip filler, Botox You've got to enjoy 10 years of fucking in your 20s and then commit, see the downgrade of the 30s and get old. And men, whatever hair you have is the hair you got.

That's exactly right. They're no tablet. If you get erection, you lose erections, that's what you got. And close the border to these Latin lovers that are coming over who are fucking for green cards. We don't need any of these hunks coming over here from the Dominican who are teaching them tennis and golf. Anyway, so good luck everyone out there.

it's a jungle. It's been really hard for me because I'm getting married and then I've just got all these old guys around me. I'll be, by the time you get divorced, I reckon I'll be 60 when you're getting the heave-ho, right?

Oh yeah, that's the sort of the window. I hope not. You never know. If it's going to happen, that's when it'll happen. Can I say? If it's going to happen, it'll be at the 10-year mark when she turns about 40.

On a serious note, we were talking to a friend who was very sad. Yeah. I really thought to myself in that moment I was like, I got to get better at being able to because I want to be there for people and I was like I'm going to be better at like knowing how to

I think you just have to let people talk but then you do want to like you're in a group and someone's having someone's being very honest about how bad things are and I always want to make light of it I want to keep it bubbly. You said he was talking about I was high during the whole thing and my I've been told that my facial expressions weren't superphetic.

I was like this and now and she won't talk to me anymore. I was like this. No easy fix for that. And then I'm over there like, I kept trying to like pivot to, well, you still look, you look great. Ah. It's tough. It's tough.

I had nothing. I was this close to Googling what to say when a man is heartbroken. What we, yeah, yeah, it's. I think honestly what it is, though, And this is something that you have to understand is there probably is nothing and you just have to sit there and give up your time.

That's actually what the generosity is and go... People, people... Lay it on me. Keep... Lay it on me. And off of it... Call me whenever you want. Because the second time we caught up,

it wasn't as bad because obviously our mate had a pent up we hadn't had anyone to talk to and the second night we had a bit more fun. And I'm thinking, oh, we got this out of him. He's going to be okay, but it's fucking... Look, it's tough, man.

It's... I've got a lot of... I've seen family members, go through it. I've had to separate from a person with a child involved, and it's not fucking, it's not pretty. It's not an easy thing to do it. And I did it better than anyone

could ever do it. I did it with a person that still likes me, and it's still a fucking, you know, the financial toll alone is massive. Here's a funny thought. So, you know, if you have a STD, they know, we need you to call the last

partners that you had, and then they get tested. Yes. If you're a man, who sees a therapist through a break-up or a very dark time in your life. I think they should go, I need you to give us six of your best friend's numbers so I can contact them to tell them how to deal with you. Because they're the ones that are going to be running into you.

Like your friend actually needs the therapy, not you. I need to be able to talk to a therapist and go, he just said this, where do I take that? Everyone's only one new person away from being happy because when you're in love is the best feeling in the world and when you're being dumped is the worst feeling in the world, right? There's times that being dumped feels as bad as a death in the family because, you know, in death you can almost rationalise sometimes.

Well, you don't run into a dead person with a friend that you went to school with and they're playing tennis together. But it used to be you break up with a girl and then you had to stop going to the places she went to when I was at. You no longer can go to that cafe, that's where she goes to get coffee. You can't go to this nightclub. That's where her and her friends go. You can't bump into her.

But now with social media And fucking Googling You can't escape these people forever Especially if And if you've got kids with them Oh my goodness That you have to listen to There's a new bloke who comes over every now

Oh God Who's this fucking putts And you can't tell the woman You can't date that bloke That bloke's not the go People try I know from our conversations With our mates who are going through divorce

It does seem like kids I use as spies Kids are these fucking agents who are like, hey dad. That's the thing is the kids feel awkward. They get put in the middle. It's terrible for the children. It's terrible. You know, you don't, you know, I even had a little bit of it with mine, you know,

when I first started dating people afterwards, you know. It's tricky, man. It's tricky, but that's not what's happening at this moment. What else is going on? That is what? That's the fucking Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman, gave us the feels. I'd tell you this much about it was Keith Urban. It was what's happening at this moment.

moment is there is probably a lot of divorce. People who watch your show are going through divorce, so you are actually nailing it in the news. Man, also, also, don't get divorced because it lowers my ticket numbers, because most of my people who come to see my show are couples these days. Yeah, or they go. I like when it's a dad taking his son out to try and teach him dirty gurgs. Yeah, dads and sons.

They're my favorite. Right, this is a big story that I want to discuss with you. Did you see that one the other day when I was in, fucking, I was in Holland? Or where was I, last night the other day? We're in Norway. Norway, is it in Norway. And then I was like, do you got anyone under the age of 16?

I was a 15 year old. I'm here with the brother and the brother and the dad, like that, right? So where's the mom? She left when I was eight. I said, where's the mom? Thanks. She left when I was eight.

My brother is three years younger. So when he was five, yes, we have not seen her since. Oh, good, good. Join the show, mate. Anyway, Oscar Bestorius This is a big story in the world For our profession

Okay No, not my, our profession I don't act I've acted at one sitcom Four quarters, look it up It wasn't good Check the reviews on him They're very good

So you're an actor Do you, have you ever heard Of the actress Tilly Norwood? Is that Bonnie Blue's real name? It is not But I guarantee you Bonnie Blue We'll try and do a scene with it

Talent agents are circling around Actress Tilly Norwood Here's the catch. She's completely AI generated. Oh. So, active comedian technologist Elaine Vandler has revealed that her recently launched AI talent studio

Zicoia is in talks of the number of talent agents interested in signing its first creation, the AI actress Tilly Norwood. Mm-hmm. Give me a look at Tilly. Where she gave a presentation. You want to see her?

There we go. Let's look this up. This is the thing. So she's going to be perfect, right? This is silly. We can't have. Perfect people. Where's character actors?

Is Tilly Norwood? Yeah. Tilly... Tilly looks real. Tilly looks real. That's Tilly Norwood. You know what I would call it? Tilly Moore.

That AI has attracted the attention to multiple agents at the Zurich Film Festival. this is mad when we first launched tilly people were like what's that and now we're announcing which agency is going to represent her in the next few months so after this sag

and a bunch of I thought this is what we striked for so this wouldn't happen yeah well they're saying if your agency signs Tilly then you should quit that's what they're asking all these years

have tried to get acting jobs and I start getting acting jobs and the fucking AI take over next week. And fuck me. Well, you can sell your likeness and then you don't even have to turn up to set. They didn't like me before.

Why would they want me... They didn't want me to shut up to set when I was available. Jim's dislikeness is available for a fee. Yeah. When you go see the movie, him, I want to make a prequel for Marco. They'll be able to do that. They go, Marco, Jim's character from him.

What was he like in med school? Yeah, Marco in med school. He's like this. I just want to heal people. I don't want to hurt someone. I don't know why he is an American accent. He becomes an Australian. So this actress, Tilly, says,

I may be AI generated, but I'm feeling real emotions right now, and I'm so excited for what comes next in my career. And then the agent says... Can we see a nude? Am I allowed to see a nude or have I done something wrong there? That's...

Well, she's not... She's over 18 in AI bits. Okay. Well, get some nudes up of her. Well, this is the future of being a pimp, though. You could just run a Andrew Tate-like... like porn empire from AI-generated sluts.

Well, they are. That's all they're advertising to me at the moment is AI-generated women all the time. So you can be an AI-pimp. I like to see a real woman because there's the idea that you could actually meet that woman or something in your head

or you could be in that, you know what I mean? AI does, I've tried the AI pornography. He does nothing for me. What do you mean? You've done not with the VI headset and everything? No, I've done the virtual reality thing. But the AI sites where you can go a taller girl, a blonde girl, a brunette.

girl or this girl or whatever and they make a girl for you type of thing so do you think if there's a rendering of you like this yes uh it could produce a special for you uh they haven't figured out comedy yet but eventually yes so does this make you in any way concerned about your profession or are you happy i'm happy i got this far you know what i mean you can't worry about things like that because because i'll be honest seeing this actress be produced an ai and knowing what is coming from some of the things I've seen. All you've got to do is Tilly Norwood.

You and I doing podcasts in your hotel room talking to our phones at the middle of the night when I'm ready to go and watch the Champions League game ain't going to cut it. This is the entertainment

that people won't miss. Oh, you're saying that our podcast isn't good enough? I'm saying that AI will rightfully replace us pretty quickly. Do you remember when we used to do actual sketches? Remember we had a studio?

Yeah, we had a studio for five seconds. We had a studio for. We've been on the road forever, and now you're moving to New York. So is this the end of the podcast? It could be. I don't know. We'll see. We have fun.

Look, how many people will miss this? We've done 54 minutes. Gets harder all the time. No, I thought it was quite easier. No, but here's the thing. Chip and I have been on the road for seven weeks. We have to talk every day. We don't fight.

We do it. We don't fight. But how many times so far on the trip are you like this? Fuck me, this bloke again. Because I'm sick of my company. I'm alright with you. No, I'm all right with you. I've had worse people to travel with. Who's the worst person you've ever travelled with? No names. No, no. You know. Give me actions. You know, I can tell you straight off. You know, you know these people.

So what are you looking for here? I'm looking for Tilly Norwood. To see her actually acting? Just like, no, I just want to see a picture of her just on the beach holiday. Like, we're going to miss all this. Can she have affairs with other AI guys to keep us entertained? Because that's the whole thing with celebrities. They're meant to entertain you when they're not entertaining. You know what I mean? She's just going to entertainen the screen. For TMZ, you're saying?

Yeah, yeah. It's like she can't be on TMZ dating another AI actor. Right. Well, here she is. Let's see. Tilly Norwood is a good name. Here we go. Well, this new actress is turning heads in Hollywood today after making her big screen

debut, a performance that comes with a catch. It's AI generated. Tilly Norwood has caught the attention of talent agents, but real life stars. have raised a number of concerns. Well, this new actress is to be in. Yeah, okay. We've got better-looking women than that are flesh. Well, that's obviously them being,

that's a shot across the bow. They're like, we'll do a seven and a half. Yeah, yeah. But if these actors want 20 million a film, we'll unleash the tens. Yeah, yeah. We'll do the Sweeney upgrade. We'll do all of you people,

but without your body doubles. There's no eating disorders. No one feels guilty. It's tough on it. Well, I thought we made it so that this couldn't happen. I don't understand how this is happening. For the contract? Yeah, I thought there was no AI.

But you know what it is? Yeah, that's with the studios. But then I think what will happen is when you put in regulations like this, new studios will pop up that are able to make these maybe so much cheaper because of the technology they have, and that they'll just out-compete the studios that don't use this, which is fucked. So, well, this is a serious question. So Tilly Norwood being not a real person

Does she do action movies all the way to porn? So you can do anything? Unfortunately, she's a big supporter of Israel So she won't be doing anything She's been boycott. No, but she can do Shindler's List too and porn. Yeah, she could do anything.

Or a porn parody. That's a tough one. What was Shindler's fifth? Oh. Just a list of a whole lot of girls that he's going to shagg. We all know what that would be. You're disgusting.

You've got to give credit we're crissed. We'll grow up. Yeah. So that's what's happening in our profession. It is coming. We're within two, three years, we're really not understanding. Like, no one really grasps. We're all deep set, anxious about it in every profession.

I believe they're sitting on technology that would wipe out our way of life. I think it's the worst thing that we've ever done. It's terrible. I think we got to, in the fact that people, I don't use chat, GPT, I don't, my wife chats to the phone in the person, hey, how are you doing? Well, you have great ideas, all that. I look at it like, what the fuck you're doing? Don't let it in the house.

I know. I don't have a Siri. I don't let it in the house. No, you really are good at using it. No technology. And it wasn't out of morality. It was out of a... Self-preservation for mental health.

Just been a complete fucking moron with devices. Yeah, I'm very good at it. But now I commit. But I'm really worried because they always say we sit on patents and ideas, otherwise society would go crazy. because if they don't need any of us anymore, like, what do you do with your time?

What are the most of you going to do for work? But this is the thing is because I wanted to retire young. I don't want everyone to be retired along with me. I want to have that separate. Or you want to lord that over, people do you? I think I want to look at, you're going to work, are you? I might, a bit of Judge Judy. You don't know what I'll go up to you today.

That's what I wanted. If it's just COVID over again, there's no joy in that. You can't let other, you can't be happy unless others are suffering. You'll retire eventually. Why do you get 15 years less work than me? So what you're saying is when we get UBI, the universal basic income, and all of us are just being paid a subsistence wage

to not be revolutionary on the streets. Yeah. And the golf courses are full. Yeah. Because everyone's just playing golf. Yeah, it's going to piss me off. You'll go, I earned this. Yeah, and people collecting sports cards,

and I go, I was doing it ages ago. That is what's going to happen. Yeah, yeah. Who are we talking to today? That's right, a bunch of kids who were becoming plumbers and we're like, oh, that's probably a good profession, but I'm sure there'll be, you know,

plumbing bots or something like that. I don't know if they can fix the plumbing. A little nanobots to get the shit out or something. Yeah, they can go get the shit out, but I think they'll just be tools for plumbers. Yeah, yeah. Well, exactly. I think the robots will be able to do the plumbing,

but then eventually there'll be something that will be like, oh, you've missed this spot, what spot? No, you've got to... Dead set, my Nana. Great plumber. I talk to my Nana all the time. Oh, she knows her way around an S-Bend. I said to Nana,

How are you feeling about, you know, dying? Because she talks about it all the time. And she always says to me, I can't, I can't wait to go. I go, why? She goes, well, it's shit now, isn't it? The world. I lived in the best times. It was wonderful.

Me and your grandfather. It was a better world, wasn't it? And I look around today and I don't like anyone or anything. So I'm ready to be off. And I go, oh, she's like, I feel sad for you. that you have to live in this era? It's just not very good, is it? There's not a lot of hope.

Very bleak. Yeah, but you can watch whatever you want, whatever you want on YouTube. Pretty good. We've traded away society for the simple ease of being able to watch content. It's never been,

look, as someone who loves TV, the streamers and stuff, fucking crushing it. Yeah, but it isn't, you know what, I don't actually like the streamers. You think you want that to be able to choose everything. But I am, I have analysis paralysis.

So I actually watched less. I had a better TV viewing structure in Australia as a kid when there was three channels and you were forced to make the most out of what you had. And I would watch the whole night like, I have a crime show, I have a reality show. Yeah, you would navigate your way through. You'd go, this is what I watched. From 5pm to 11, you'd find something. Yeah, so you'd find things.

And different nights were different things. I've got reality programs on the Tuesday and then on the Wednesday. And then every afternoon I'd just watch an episode of MASH. Yes, I think choice is making everybody To have infinity choice makes me miserable I know all the old Abbott of Gistello, Laurel and Hardy Mar and Park kettle movies Right?

Because my mother watched old black and white movies But they were on the TV on Sundays In the middle of the day And so she used to watch those Now they've got their own channel Kids will never turn over to that channel Everything's silo There so they will never see those movies

Those movies will be completely forgotten My generation will be the last generation that might have seen them just by accident. No one is going to see them by accident. And I'm going to include classic movies. Gone with the wind. We'll be gone with the wind, right, for the next generation. This podcast will be siloed away to the 5,000 people that watch it on YouTube

and the 50,000 who listened to it. Yeah. And really, in the old days, this would be on primetime. We'd be on a couch, smoking cigarettes. I'd be fucking, if you were Sammy Davis and on Sinatra, I'd be saying racist things against, and you'd be laughing them off. Good old days. Erd a patron.

Yeah, yeah, good old base. Pretending I'm okay with it. Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course. Well, anyway, this is what's happening. Pull out your glass eye. Have you got anything else for me? No, we're done.

Nothing else you wanted to share? That's a whole podcast. I took Jim to a fucking floating sauna where you're on a sauna that's on the water and then you jump into the cold. No, I wouldn't go in the cold. It was jellyfish. Wouldn't go into the cold. It was jellyfish.

It was in his jocks. There was jellyfish. So there were people there who, from Britain, actually, there was four of us in this order who had one wonderful experience which was you, in your jocks, they were all bundled and rolled up

sitting in the sauna with them talking about the show and I really thought if they were fans of yours what an amazing experience. I don't think they were. I don't think they were. I don't think they knew I was.

They were like this. We're from Coventry. And you were like, I used to live around there and they just went like this. Good. Great. Back to silence.

You started talking in the sauna and I went, these Nordic people hate you right now. They don't give us a hello or nothing They weren't Nordic people The Germans were They were German Yeah because I gave it a bit of my fiancé's German

Oh you can you can slip Oh where are in Germany from Yeah my fiance's from Your fiancé is from fucking Chicago That's where she's from Stop saying she's from fucking Germany She's not Her father's from Germany

She's not from Germany It was the Ryder Cup I was swept up with European emotion I'm like oh yeah My girlfriend's from Football Tower And they just went, who gives her fuck? Yeah, Wuppetail. What is she got the eye in the middle of her forehead?

Wuppetale. They're crazy chicks. All right. That's what's happening at this moment, everybody. Don't jerk off to Tilly Norwood. I know you're going to want to, but don't support that. Don't cross the picket line. Yeah, yeah.

No, don't use the fake porn either. These real girls. Like, look, we all know the only fans didn't help the situation. It made porn stories the money go during. directly to them, all the type of stuff. But even that, you're going to see, look back in history and go, those were the good old days.

If you jerk off to AI porn, you bring about the end of our civilisation. It's on you. If there's AI porn, look, I need to know that that AI porn character was a runaway, doesn't speak to either her father or a grandfather. I need all these things.

She was a... If she's just happy with her life, that's not going to... Yeah, she had a rough childhood when she was brought. You just see, you just see like one, like, old, like, hookery, like, AI person. I was, the first time I was fucked was on dial-up. On dial-up. All right, that's what's happening at this moment.

Come see us on the road. If you're in Europe, we're still coming to your city. He's got to Jim Jeffries.com for those tickets. New show in Oslo, all the UK shows coming up. We'll be done with the most of Europe by the time this podcast comes out.