I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 36 - You Can't Go to Thailand as a Single Guy

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

At this moment, Jim and Amos talk about how going to Thailand by yourself carries horrible connotations. They also talk about Prince Andrew getting kicked out of the royal family, the Dodgers winning the world series, and Jim's Busta Rhymes story. Jim's new special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix! SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠ FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠   Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠   Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

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That's Quince. Q-U-I-N-C-E-D-com slash ATM, free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash ATM. Hello, everybody. Welcome to At This Moment with Jim Jeffries and Amos Gill. I find Jim on the road in a hotel in, where is, Sheffield. I am in Manchester. I'll be in Liverpool this evening.

Hello, everyone. I've just announced some new date on the UK tour. If you want to come to the UK, there's still seats available in some of the shows. Some of the shows are sold out, some aren't. But I've just announced all my American dates, and I'm going to just push one date right now. I'll go to Jim Jeffries.com to see if I'm coming to a city near you. But December 31st, I will be in New York seeing you for the first time in a long time because you'll be opening for me at the Beacon Theatre, January 31st.

So that's one I'm really looking forward to you. So we're only doing one show in New York. come to that show, Beacon Theatre, January 31st. What are we going to talk about? Of course, all other dates, of course, there's still the European tour. I'd like to plug my shows in Lisbon, Amsterdam, Warsaw. I just added some Warsaw. I'm going to come to Dublin.

I'm also coming to where else am I going? Oh yes, Helsinki and Talent. Looking forward to getting back across to Europe. But Jim, I've got to say, we just, record at the podcast. I didn't think this would happen because you were sent with your own technology without Jack. You don't have a laptop. You've brought an iPad and somehow we managed to record an episode with you doing your own tech. This is an unbelievable development. We spoke obviously about Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew. We talked about sports. We spoke about night hoods. We spoke about

how much better it would have been to be a member of the royal family in the non-consequence days of the medieval period. We chat about clean. Enjoy the episode, everybody, and make sure to come and see us on the road. Enjoy. All right. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the podcast.

What a week it has been. I'm not going to talk about sport for the whole time, Amos, but give it up for the Dodgers. What a World Series that was. I watched that in a bar in New York, and everyone was against the Dodgers. everybody was blue jays except for like a couple of tourists here in there who had the la hat on and that was one of the best sporting games i've ever watched in my life that the whole series you have to get 190 something outs over seven series right and it came down to one more out right there was moments kershaw in the series if if the guys didn't swing at his pitch

then they get a run they probably win the game if the guy didn't slide in game seven he wouldn't have had the force out. If he didn't slave, he kept on running, he probably would have gotten there if he split head first. The Blue Jays win, the whole thing. I had a guy from Australia watching with me,

like he was visiting New York. So it was like the absolute peak of the game when he joined me. And so I was trying to like get into the vibe, but I was also doing. So you see those three different things that go yellow. That means they've got a person on base. And then what happens then?

Well, if you hit the, he got to run. shut the fuck up. I was like, now is not the time for me to explain the ins and outs of the game. Just clap what everyone else claps.

So I watch Game 7 in this hotel room with Glenn Wool who is opening up for me at the moment, very good comedian. Glenn is a Canadian and I had to sit there with Glenn

and go, you know, because you don't want to rub it in the Canadian's face afterwards. When we won, I had a very mutant, whee! Well, after the first of the 51st state stuff, it did feel written in the stars that Canada was going to get one over

America. I love the Dodgers. I've never followed any team in my life that haven't been a bunch of losers that always finished last. It's always been my thing. The only team that's ever won any premiership or anything is the Dodgers. Well, your rugby team got kicked out of the league and you go for Fulham. So you haven't tasted a lot of success.

My other team's the Clippers, right? I don't, yeah, I don't have success in my life, right? so I love the Dodgers but there was a weird thing happened to me I have such a fondness for Canada I tour so much in Canada you know many of my best friends are Canadian I got my first break in North America

in Canada the mother of your child is Canadian have a half Canadian child so I have a soft spot for the Canadians and I was watching it and it was like I was a Russian watching Drago playing fighting Rocky

at the end there I did I wasn't going for Canada, but I wouldn't have been upset if they won. You made a post about Clayton Kershaw retiring, and you were talking about the game. And you got a lot of Canadians in your thing. Hey, man, that's a really classy way that you went about it, you know. Enjoy the win, Jimmy. You really showed us a lot of respect with this post. You know, Blue Jay fans are hurting.

You're a good guy. Well, they're not wrong. They're not wrong. It was a wonderful thing. I don't think I'll ever see a World Series as good at that. I've been to five World Series that the Dodgers have been in, and I've never been to a game where they've actually won. I'll tell you one stupid thing I did during the actual game.

Brad Pitt and Flea come up on the screen, and I'm sitting way back in the bleachers, not the Brad Pitt. And so I text Brad Pitt, and I say hello to flee for me. And then I was like, what did I do that for? He's probably trying to enjoy the game. So the whole game I just sat there going, God, you're an idiotic. And no response? Did you get a response?

I did it like two days later. He's fine. Two days later, when he knew you couldn't catch up with him in the bleachers. Oh, man, I just missed that. Oh, what? And he goes, he went back me like, hey, you know, flees Australian. And I was like, I did know that. I'm, you know, so I was, but so I hated that whole game, game five, where we lost.

I hated every minute of it. I was sitting there. We were obviously losing from the first. And you're with your son, right? I was there with my son. Me and Hank had a great time. Hank's like, Dad, and you're like, no offense, son. You're not Brad Pitt.

Well, so you know what is interesting, though? I saw my son go to Oasis this summer and then want to pick up a guitar. right and i saw the dodgers win the world series and i think he's gone from being a guy who plays little league to being a fan of baseball to he was enthralled in the series you know what i mean it's wonderful when these things happen you see people gather interests and whatnot but a lot of our listeners are british and australian you couldn't if you want to talk about baseball in the uk you've got fucking buckley's no chance you got to pay for an app to get it they're not getting any casual viewers coming in.

There was no way to watch it. I tried talking about it on stage the next night. People were fucking like less than bored, angry at me for bringing out. It's a seditious game and it tries to step on cricket. And I support the UK in stamping that nonsense out and we've got to keep British. So while I'm over here in America, I'm happy to be all baseball. But over there in the UK, zip your treasonous mouth with that stickball crap. Okay.

So here's the thing. So there's, if you want to get into baseball, really get into baseball. There's a documentary called Ken Burns Baseball. Now, his other documentaries have been about the Civil War and Vietnam and all time of stuff. Yeah, occasionally Ken needs to have a bit of a relaxed time in the research. So he's like, gory war, Vietnam, baseball.

And all Ken does is get a photo and then he zooms in on it, like the photo's moving. And then Martha didn't speak to him for years. And then he died in the war, right? That's how they do it, right? so you watch Ken Burns baseball it's I believe it's 15 hours of documentary it doesn't stop it's a good thing to get high and just keep watching over a week or something but the opening line of it pissed me off right and I had to stop the documentary and go all right I'm not watching this fucking bullshit when I first thought what was it the line is this baseball the

national sport the only game on earth where the defense team is holding the ball, right? And then I was like this, cricket! Now, is it true? I reckon the only going where the fence is holding the ball. And then, and then two sentences later, it's derived from cricket, and it's derived from the game of rounders, which is a game in Britain. And that's how it comes from cricket is this.

But is it true that baseball started because, was it war of independence or civil war, there was so many divvits in the ground that when the men were wanting to play cricket, they couldn't. So they had to throw the ball because otherwise you would get a wacky bounce. And so they would throw the ball to each other. They didn't say that in the documentary, but I will say that that's what happened now. That's going to be what I think happened. That's what I heard.

It was one of those stupid games where for years was like, you know, catchers didn't have mitts. It was just a bloke, just standing behind. Like, threw a ball as hard as he can trying to catch it with his bare hands in front of a guy with a bat. And then one bloke said, I'll put a glove on so I won't hurt my hand. They made the gloves bigger and bigger.

And then the guy, Spaulding, you know, Spaulding. Yeah, he was the best pitcher in the league. Right. And the pitchers used to make their own balls. Make their own balls? Yeah, yeah, because it wasn't a professional game. It was a lot of bullshit. Was it like bundled socks with a rock in it?

Like what? Some of them were like a rock covered in a sock. And the other ones were just like, you know, a sheep's heart wrapped up in a bit of leather, right? Whatever. Yeah. Right? And then he started making balls and people like, his balls are the roundest or whatever. They work the best.

And that's how Spalding started because he was a picture making his own balls. All right. All right, man. What about Wilson? Who's Wilson? I may have mixed it to. He was a volleyball. He was a volleyball.

He was a coach at some girls' university. It's always volleyball coaches that are up to no good. Well, the other news story in sports was the Melbourne Cup yesterday. And yes, I was in the stand comedy club in New York. And I had my phone out. And it was really funny because I'm watching. It's the only race I watched was I wanted to watch the race that stops the nation here in Australia.

It's our public holiday in Melbourne. We all watch it. Since your kids, you're forced into a room at school to watch it. And I had it up. You're encouraged to gamble at birth. People with my father, give me 50 cents. I'll go, put it on for you. You know, you'd have teachers be like, all right, bring $5 tomorrow and you get to

pull a horse's name out of the bucket and you win the prize. And maybe if you get the right horse, you have no homework tomorrow. Like proper push into gambling. Your mom would always just pick a horse on the name. I pick pink lady because I like pink and I'm a lady. And then pink is, oh, I've won again. dude i'm sitting i'm sitting there in the stairwell watching it but no americans realize this so a bunch of comedians just walked past and i'm like dude they said to my friend james is your friend

like a fucking degenerate like it's it's one a m and the dudes watching horses in a stairwell with the music up like loud like what a fucking loser and i have to go oh it's just like now it's a this is a really big one. They're like, they're all really big when you're desperate, aren't they, mate?

I go, nah, this like means a lot. Right. So to Americans, think the Kentucky Derby but five times bigger. Yeah,

like there's no, like when the Kentucky derby's on, you could easily miss it in America. You can't miss Melbourne Cup Day. Watch the Kentucky Derby. I know it's on. You know,

you get it on ESPN just in passing. No, it's the race that stops the nation. And women in Australia, what you don't know is they really get dressed up for the horse. races. They put fascinators on, they put everything, and then they get obliterated drunk

and roll around in the grass. It's magical time. And there's a lot of men that I know who dress better going to horse races than their own wedding. We have more respect for the horses than our wives. Castel pocket scarf. They'll try to dress up. Everyone looks like they're at Easter. It's the only, isn't it funny? It's the only sporting event that we really have strong decor of what you wear like even the roughest people if you if you turned up in jeans and a t-shirt your friends would be like a bit of respect for the horses may come on really put a jacket on if you want to meet good-looking women the horse races like the melbourne cup not not not a horse match on a regular day not wednesday not wednesday afternoon in bendigo

yeah yeah and i'll tell you where you're not going to meet a good-looking woman down at the dogs. You're not going to meet them down at the dogs. Is there anything more depressing than a night out at the dogs where you just go, like it's depressing to actually go into it at TAV and bet on the dogs? That's already bad. But when you actually go down and you actually... They tried for a while.

I remember in Adelaide, they really tried to get a bit of buzz about the greyhounds. They were trying to save it. So they had a lot of drinks packages, like, all you can drink. and then they started to break these so you know what a dog chases right they chase the the rabbit a little tiny rabbit a little toy rabbit and it's believed that if the dog actually catches the rabbit it never races again because it realizes it's a fluffy toy right that sounds like most people in our in our profession chasing fame they get it and they go oh what was I doing all this time this didn't bring me happiness at all I had to push all those other dogs

out of the way I just want to be back in the kenner with my pups family's the most important. Now those dogs aren't even talking to them. Yeah. They tried to do this thing where they would get like 20 promo models and dress them up as bunnies and just get them to walk around half nude. And they'll be like, oh, you can eat party pies, $50 all you can drink and chase a couple of bunnies around as well.

Come down to the dogs, the angle veil dogs. And it had like two years of resurgence. And my grandfather was a bookmaker. And his life story was he was in the horse. It made a lot of money on the horses, but when the TAB came, he kind of, the horse market died out because no one had to go to the track anymore. Everyone just bet at the pubs. But the only place that he could still operate was the dog. So like my childhood was going over to his house and all day he would have to watch each race and he would focus on one dog and then press play and then analyze how fast it got out the blocks and he'd write that down.

Then he'd rewind and then look at the next dog. And so his whole life was just analyzing dogs all day. And he went from being quite a wealthy man going to the horse track to a progressively poorer man going down to the dog track to take bets. Well, but wasn't he stunning? The dogs, didn't he know what he was going? Like, like, if he... No, but what happened was is because TAB came,

in order to compete, he had to put bigger odds on, like more juicy odds. I just watched a movie about, you know, the TV so press your luck. You might... I don't know if I know that, no. it's the one where you go no whammies no whamies and the lights go and then you go stop and if you get a whammy you lose all your money and all your money goes away but you might get one thousand dollars and a free spin

do you keep going are you going to pass these things i'm going to go i'm going to press me like stop like that right no one had ever won more than like 20 grand on the show this is in the 1980s most people we used to walk away with two three thousand bucks right anyway this bloke because it was just the lights going like that it turned out they only had five patterns now the patterns go very quickly but he just studied it and studied it and studied it and studied it and then he got on the show and he won 110 grand and he could have kept going and they had to put him over two episodes the episode couldn't end because he he wasn't losing they could the network tried not to pay the guy out because they went oh you're cheating and

where could it say that you could actually study. Yeah, you can't prepare, yeah. You can't prepare or you can't work for it. You only had five patterns, you dumb cuts. You didn't think anyone was going to fucking sit there and figure out the five patterns. But I'll send you a documentary because it's worth watching, like, the guy. Is that Ken Burns as well?

I see. It's the only game show where the buzzer stops the board and doesn't start it. So, you know, this is a cool thing about my family that is out there is my grandfather had a band taker. He put a huge bet on for a million dollars back in the 80s with him. And he lost. So he owed my granddad like a million dollars. But he was apparently like a Hong Kong gangster or based out of Macau maybe. And my granddad like, okay, mate, like pay up. You know what I mean? The phone bet started to pay up. The guy didn't pay up and was like, come and get it. Come to Hong Kong and get it. And my grandfather obviously didn't. But my uncle did.

He went over there and goes, I've come to collect on behalf of A.R. Gill. And this guy just apparently pulled out a pistol and was like, never come back to this country ever again. And my granddad's long since dead. And this story goes around in my family, like, there's a million dollars owed to us if you're brave enough to go into this Hong Kong gangster's compound and get it back. Has to be an old cut now. You must be able to go slap me.

Yeah, I'm sure. Maybe that guy's dead. It was just something that was like spoken about in our family. like taking the sword out of the rock, you know, like it's there for us as a family. I have very little pity for you because we are in a fantasy basketball league and everyone else has paid me the $100 to enter but you.

We're in game six or seven right now. Now I have to do it in a public forum. I'm feeling rude just texting you. Yeah, you haven't paid your entry fee. Now you're very clearly in one of the bottom five teams and you're not going to win again. So this is just money down the drain. So I see why you're trying to hold.

on to it. But you don't get Venmo. When I'm at the Beacon Theater at the end of January and you're opening for me, I'm taking it off your fucking pay. Well, that's what I figured. You can just take it off the money of one of my gigs, okay? So they come chasing me down. You come for me, and much like the Hong Kong gangster,

I'll pull a fucking pistol out and tell you to turn around and go back to California. In 50 years, my grandkids will be like this. Amos Gill. Yep, that one. Yeah, that's 100. Yeah. We should probably get into some news stories. All right.

Let's go with, well, you're in Britain, so let's go with something for Britain. Prince Andrew has officially lost all titles and has been booted from his little palace that he lives in. He's still being moved to quite a beautiful estate. It's not like he's currently wandering around Bethnal Green or, you know, he's not in Brixton currently applying for a flat. try to like it's it's do you think he gives a fuck

like I know he gives a fuck because he doesn't want to be called a pedophile no one must be called a pedophile right but like like he isn't sweating he seems fine through the whole thing um

he's being okay do you reckon he's well his mom's not alive anymore but you reckon his brother goes to him look mate yeah I know I know there was other people on the island I know

you gotta have to take one for the team Andrew because The crown must go on. Now, what I don't understand, I understand that Prince Andrew was going over there to Shagbirds, you know, whether they are of age or not of age, that's what he was going to talk. But I think they were in the UK that Jeffrey was sourcing him in the women, right? Virginia.

I think it was it in like London pubs or whatever. He did it here or let's say you did it on the island or what have you, right? But what I, okay, I understand what happened with Andrew. Why the fuck was Fergie hanging around him? Fergie defended him till the fucking bitter end. What has he got on Fergie? Well, I guess it's like when it's the mother of your, when it's the father of your child, you're like, I don't want my daughters to grow up with their dad as a Peter.

Before that, she was always like, oh, where your friend, Jeffrey and all? And she sort of was like hoping that Jeffrey was innocent. Well, she wants to stay in. She likes the crown. She likes the family. Why was she in to begin with? Was it like? this like back in the old days when you finished a big dinner party and the men retired to

have a whiskey and a cigar and the women went and gossiped out, you know, in some other room and whatever, right? Is that what happened? All right, the boys are off to the island. Us girls are going to crochet over here. Thank you, Jeff. Lovely night. Well, can I read you this story? Because now all this stuff's coming out about him from, by the way, if you're in the royal family, your butler is going to talk. Oh, yeah, the butlers don't shut up. When you're dead, the butlers are right into it. This is why you've got to hire Unix and blind people as staff.

You cannot have these lippy butlers. Everybody who works at my house can hardly speak English. It's just how you have to do it. Like, you can't, stop getting posh, educated people to work in your house who are aspiring writers. It's a fucking rest of me for disaster. The last thing you need is your dirty laundry aired by someone who's eloquent. Yes. I went to Oxford and studied English literature.

I'd like to go through your dirty laundry. Oh, this is rough. Like, terrible. So here's a quick side note before the butler. David Beckham just got knighted. He's Sir David Beckham now. We have to call him Sir David Beckham. Have knighthoods gotten a bit silly?

well he's a night is it listen he's a sport is our combat that we actually watch and we get national pride from so really he is a knight of the roundtable of bobby charton knighted right bobby chartland was noted i think who else like athletes yeah we did sir sir it wasn't we've got a don bradman he's not even english all right i'll give it to him because i there was a moment like the flag go open for night hoods when they gave it to Bob Geldof, right? They gave it to a man who clearly doesn't wash, right? Who just had matted down hair. It was just like would stink of cigarettes.

You could just tell. He just doesn't smell good, right? And they gave it to Bob Geldof because Bob Geldof had to have it because he got so much money donated to Africa. If you didn't give it to him, the whole things are fast. And that was the first like just sort of celebrity. And then they were like Elton John, Paul McCartney, all you, people, come over here, Rod Stewart, we'll give you one, we'll give one to fucking Ian

McKellen, we'll give them to actors, like the actors started getting them, right? And now, I just, I don't want to live in a world where if I meet Victoria Beckham, I have to call it Dame Victoria. You're not going to curtsey to Dame Victoria? Yeah, do I have to fucking... Lady Spice. Lady Spice, I have to call her, right? Like, see something like that.

Lady Spice is a great new album for her. Well, I have just found the ones that are knighted. Sir David Beckham, Sir Gareth Southgate. Southgate, all right. Okay. So, Sir Kenny Daglish, Bobby Robson, Trevor Brooking, Sir Alex, obviously. Yeah. And Sir Robbie Savage, which I find.

What about Gascoigne? Garza is yet to get the official title. Services to being a loose cunt. Do you remember when that guy went missing and then he just went fishing and said he was looking for him? I mean, he always looks like he's one beer from death. Oh, he's a mental breakdown away from just three or something. Yeah, he's right. So that's the, I thought there'd be more footballers, but I guess Bex is, he's bigger than football, isn't he?

He's, Beck, but he wasn't, he's, he's, he's not in the history of footballer, top 10 footballer. No, but he's a, he's a, he's a iconic. brain, like around the world. Okay. But to be honest, Wayne Rooney's better than David Beckham. Does he become Sir David Beckham

if he's not good-looking? What, if he has Rooney's head? Wayne Rooney is arguably was a better better, arguably. Not arguably, he's a better football. He's probably the best English football. Arguably a better footballer, Wayne Rooney. Like Beckham did a dead ball

and his crosses were amazing. Arguably. Wayne Rooney doesn't get fucked. I would even say that Stephen Gerard doesn't get one because of that crease in his forehead. He's that it's anti-scouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because he's good-looking. The scouses are held back again.

Okay, name me one other, a knighted person, name me one other sir with neck tattoos. Sir Lancelot, I think, was pretty inked up. He had a, you had a Travis Scott. He had, like, Richard there, the crown. But you get what I'm saying? You know my despise for the good-looking, right? And he is the best looking.

And all the opportunities. Oh, he's stunning. He's one of the best-looking human. And it continues to look incredible. I collect sports cards, and I got about maybe 20 soccer cards, and one of them's David Beckham, because it just looks so good. Back when he had the foe hawk playing for England. but yeah but now unfortunately you've unfairly taken us into a direction of david beckham and prince andrew

which i'm sure he's unhappy with i understand that you're going for the royal appointments but i have to finish this story because david by the way david if he was went to epstein's island the women would be happy he was there there would have been no assaults by the way there would be no complaints from david beckham that would have been geoffrey assisting whoever he was hey you have to fuck David Beckham. Hey, thanks. You finally looked after me there. It's not Prince Andrew? Great. So all this stuff is coming out. The girls would all get on the plane and fly over him. David Beckham was a sex slave himself. New claims have come out about Andrew Mountbatten

Windsor, which is what we have to call him now. We don't call him Prince Andrew. He's Andrew Mountbatten Windsor. In 2001, okay, I'm going to read you from this. In 2001, he's 41 having a mid-life crisis, and he starts chasing lots and lots of women. Royal historian Andrew Lowney claimed on his deep dive podcast. He used the role and the excuse of his role as a trade envoy paid for by the taxpayer to go off on trips to Thailand. I see. You know the problem with Thailand?

I'm going to give you the problem with Thailand. It's beautiful. And there's a lot more to it than lady boys and sex workers. If you go to Thailand, it's a wonderful place to take your family. The food is outstanding. The people are a lovely, fucking gentle way about them. The most best customer service in Asia, just people just like really sweet and nice. I've always felt bad for men, autistic single men who live alone, who have a passion for Buddhist temples, who go, I'm flying to Thailand to tick a few off the list.

No one will ever think that you're not an ounce. What I'm saying, right? Imagine you're a bloke who likes to vacation by yourself and you're mad for Pat Thai. You're a foodie. Love it awesome and Kerry. You want to find the best pad. We know a bloke, right?

You want to find the best pad Thai in the world. Where do you go? You've got to go to Thailand. You're a sex pest now. You're a sex pest. You're like, no, I love lotus leaves in my food. Oh, yeah. Our friend Forrest was in Thailand with me like that.

He goes, I don't look good around here. He's like, what a fat American? It's the same as a guy that's traveling in Asia that is genuinely searching for a massage. Same thing. As the weather cools down, I'm swapping into pieces that actually get the job done, warm, durable, and built to last,

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Thai massage is my favourite I like a dry one where they step on your back and they get your thing I don't like a Swedish one where I'm all oily all the time and someone's doing that I like to have an Asian massage is my

massage of choice but yeah I don't want the hand job not all the time you know sometimes you just want the regular but it's hard have you ever said no to one of those in a message? I don't not interested in ever

be massage. I find it terribly uncomfortable. I'm bored. I don't like to be touched. So it's not something I'll ever have to cross. I've had a massage. I've had a message with the end that the lady goes, would you like me to? And then I was like, no, I just wanted a massage. And she just looked at me like disappointed, like I was being rude. You've come to the, you've come to the, you could have gone to a person with a certification. I'm a, I'm a sex worker in disguise here. What are we doing? No, the message was amazing. I remember. I remember. I Remember, she was like, like 60. What are we doing here?

Is everyone just going yes to that at the end of the massage? Are they all saying yes? I guess. But most people brick up for some reason. No, I don't. No, I don't. I don't. I'm strictly about the massage.

I want you to walk on me back and I want you to dig your elbows in. Here's what they say about Andrew. He was going to Thailand, representing the country, and then he would always take two weeks personal leave. and he opted to stay at five-star hotels rather than the embassy, which they said was strange. He was then, according to this butler, these fucking lippy butlers,

had 40 prostitutes brought into him in the space of four days. Fuck, he must have been dehydrated. No, under the cunt cats. You know what I mean? 40 over four days. I'm not a math whiz. But that works out at 10 a day. And you know what happened?

You have 20 on the first day because you're all excited. And then as the day goes on, then you have 10, then you have 10. That gets you to 40. And then the last day, you just have a pad tie and you sit back and you put Alavira on your cock and you try to move on with your day. It says here, it says everyone in the embassy and people in the Royal Family turned a blind eye, but they knew. They also knew that he regularly cheated on wife Sarah Ferguson during their first year of marriage.

they just had a blind spot for their son. He was the queen's favorite, I heard, or maybe the youngest one, Edward, was the favorite. No, they always say this dude was the favorite. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But 40, but dude, the interesting thing about this is, though, it's like he's just born too late to be a prince

because 300 years ago, this isn't news. Well, he's taking peasant girls to have his way with. He would have had sex with them. and then they probably beheaded them and fed them to vultures or something. So you're saying, not like the good old days.

I'm saying, I bet you in private. It was better when he had peasant girls that he could behead afterwards. Well, I'm just saying. Who would have liked that story? Netflix.

They would have put her fucking monsters. Prince Andrew. The crowd. Monsters and the crown come together for the next season. They have a monster in the crowd crossover, like when the Flintstones that the Jetsons used to meet every two years. That's a great one. Monsters, and then it's just Prince Andrew, and then you're just ancient dukes and what they got up to. But I guarantee you, because a lot of young white guys will say to each other,

oh, you know, back in the good old days when a woman had to cook and clean for you, hey, I was born in the wrong era. I guarantee you, Prince Andrew would have looked at Prince Edward, or some of his other royal family members and after a few drinks would have gone, imagine if we were born in the 1700s, what we would have got away with? I think the opening scene for the Crown Monsters' crossover

is just Andrew in some women's underwear wearing the skin of his mother's face as a mask. He's got fucking Lizzie's face on and he's got 40 Thai prostitutes. I decree you suck my son's cock Look at your money, it's me He's just, he's got a girl there And he's trying to knight her with his penis

He taps it on both her shoulders Ah well, so what do you think the future holds for the young prince? Well, I think obviously William is going He's cutting everyone out He's to save the monarchy He's gone scorched earth on his uncle As many families have it Listen, everyone jokes about at this Thanksgiving with my, I'm not going to deal with my racist uncle.

This guy's dealing with a petto uncle and he's excommunicating him from the family. But what do you think, Beatrice and I believe it's Eugenie, the daughters, right? Do you reckon they're just like this, Dad? Daddy's weird. Yeah, Dad's a weird, aren't they? You're making it so hard for me to eat. What am I going to do? Who's daddy doesn't get a bit weird?

on vacation. You guys think so, just because he's like famous, it's like lots of guys go to Thailand and have sex with lady boys. That was, that's what family vacations are all about. Mommies and the kids all stay in one room. Then daddy goes off for four days. We have to wear it in months. That's how my family vacations were.

It's like granddad Philip used to say. It's been a mistake since Magna Carter to give the peasants a voice. I hate democracy. It's so awful. Daddy should fuck who he wants. He has royal blood, which means he's semen is royal, and they should be so lucky

that Daddy spilled his seed. They didn't deserve it. Those poor girls, you hate it when a parent does something like that because it reflects badly than you and they haven't done anything wrong. That must be very hard for them. Plus, they're ginger.

We know how the British people treat those people, you know, so it's hard work for them. Hard. Yeah, just like, no matter, how easy you like because people go he'll just cry into his money in his nice house but you can't you can't fall asleep in your big bed when you called a nonce globally it's not pleasant it's not pleasant so onto the next story uh this is a sad one uh only the good die young dick cheney dead at 84 was he hunting he's he's shooting quail in heaven

this just happened I don't want to speak what happened what happened he just died of pneumonia so our chief architect of the war on terror dies at 84 I don't have anything positive to say

about Dick Cheney I think he dragged us into ongoing foreign wars to kill about five of six million people and ruined our economies to go in there and destruction that never existed he lied to us a bit, you know. Yeah, he died just before Tucker Carlson could complete his September 11 documentary series.

Well, that's the best time to do it. I think that's what sent him. I've got to watch the rest of it. I've only watched the first two episodes. I think there's like a couple more to go. Other stories. We were talking about Halloween the other day. I've got a breakdown economically of Halloween.

I think this is an interesting... Look, I've never understood. Like, when I moved over to America, I never understood the pushback on Halloween, right? Like, in Australia and Britain, how people are like, ooh, it's stupid American thing. It is, if you're a young fella and you're trying to meet girls or you're a girl and you're trying to make boys

or a girl who's trying to meet girls, Halloween's the night. Do you want to know why? Because it's a conversation starter. Everyone's got a conversation starter. You're out there's true. You can break the ice very easily. They're eyes breaking.

And people are dressing to, you know, whether you're up for it or not. You know what I mean? Like it's a good night out, Halloween. And people do go all out with their costumes, with decor, more and more every year. Now, here's the economic breakdown. Tell me that we're not up for a global financial crash with the way people are spending in this economy.

Here we go. On costumes alone, $4.3 billion was spent. On day core. Reasonable fashion. You never use those again. But yes, yeah, okay. So Dacour, 4.2 billion. Mm-hmm.

How much do you reckon on candy? Oh, that's going to be the most. Is that the most? It isn't. It's the least. Or $1 billion. $3.9 billion. Okay, that's a lot of money and candy.

Now, here's a, they've got a further breakdown. You get so much candy that if you let your child eat that much candy, your children are going to be not only fat, but they also are going to have huge medical problems. It's filled with corn syrup. You can't eat a bag of that candy. You will be very sick. It'll bring on juvenile diabetes. It's a terrible thing.

I'm like RFK now, isn't it, right? But you shouldn't eat that much candy. I remember when Hank was little, we were trick-or-treating and we had a bag of candy. We'd given out all of our candy. And then what I did was kids were still showing up at the house. So I was like, Hank, go out, collect more candy and come back. So he was getting it from the other houses and then we were giving it out. At the end of the day, every house is giving out the fucking candy.

Every kid is walking out the house to get candy. Every household's paying the same amount for the candy. Let's just cut the middleman out and give our kids the amount of candy that we think appropriate. And then just make them walk around and meet all the local sex offenders in the, just knock on the doors. Well, you know, I'm on the 25th floor of a New York apartment. Yeah, so no, I got bothered like 10 times because our building had a sign saying kids are welcome to come up to any apartment and they can buzz us and ask us for candy. They went to the lobby and they could hit the buzzers.

And I had a kid get sent up here and he knocked on all our doors and I had nothing, but I had Chinese takeaway the night before. So I gave him a fortune cookie that I didn't eat. Fortune cookies are good though Yeah and he was kind of like Oh All right I'm like I go that's sweet

That's a sweet one You didn't Couldn't buy a bag of fucking sneakers I didn't think kids Were coming to the 25th floor On 6th Avenue In New York It's weird watching

Because they go out in New York And they get tied up Like dogs And so there's like kids are all like Like like Santa's reindeer on a sleigh You know what I mean They're all tied to each other and then one parent walks them along Fifth Avenue, Sixth Avenue.

It's hugely dangerous. Kids die every year. If you're driving a car during Halloween, be very slow. But like, here we go once again. L.A., they block off streets in certain neighborhoods where you can really go for it, right? Plus, you don't have to wear a winter coat over the top of your ghost outfit. You can just be a ghost. You don't have to have it.

It's the right temperature for it. The East Coast is all wrong. They don't know what they do. No, it's spookier because it's cold and dark, you know. When we're in January, it's going to be like snowing, right? It's fucking, I'm telling you right now, it's hard to be scared in California at someone when there's a beautiful sunset and a palm tree and it's warm. Try coming down.

Although my missus, we went to a party in Brooklyn. And she's like, oh, I don't wait. It's late. I don't want to take the subway. And I was like, ironically, it is the safe. Halloween is the safest time to be on the subway because it's packed. and it's just Dracula vampires and Spider-Man and Superman. You've just got superheroes crammed up against each other on the subway.

It was the safest I've felt yet. I'll tell you what the, my son, he loves Home Alone, the four-year-old loves Home Alone. And he wanted to go as Kevin from Home Alone, right, which is a beanie and a scarf and a puffy jacket. my son who was growing up in California thinks winter clothing is a costume where do we even buy that from that goes to spirit Halloween you got scarves here they're like we'll have to order that in it's well here's the breakdown I wanted to give you so adults spend

2.1 billion yeah kids 1.4 See, this is the thing. This is the infantilization of society is everything used to be about kids and kids having a great time. And now it's like people don't have kids. They are kids. And so they keep buying themselves as the expensive costume. And people are in my, you know, in their late 30s with no children just go, well, what am I going to be this year? Well, it's the same as sports cards, right?

Sports cards is meant to be a child's endeavor that you collect your favorite players. But the really expensive ones are all being bought by adults. of course, all the good ones are bought by adults. And finally, how much do you reckon they spend on costumes for pets? Now, this is an indicator of an economy that's overheated. Here we go. Two billion. That was $860 million spent on pet costumes.

Yeah, and it's always the same thing, and the dogs sort of walks around with it for a little bit. It acts like it has front legs and it's a person and then you, yeah, it's the same outfit every time. You can't get them on cats. Cats won't wear a costume. They won't wear it. And good for cats. That's all dog. That's all dog.

Dogs are very compliant. Now, I need to say this. I've got a lot of heat from our listeners on my Instagram. As soon as Halloween was over, on November 1st, we put up our Christmas dream. That's too soon. It's meant to be as soon after Thanksgiving. I said this to my fiancé. And she said, we're in New York.

The festive season is the best time to be here. We're going to be away for a lot of it in Chicago anyway. I want the Christmas tree up now. We also don't have anywhere to put it. We have nowhere to store it. So the best place to store it is just up. Otherwise, we just have all this Christmas shit blocking up the thing. And so now, look, here we go.

There it is. There you go. There you go. November 3rd. Also, it gives really beautiful soft lighting in the apartment. we have like a white LED so now at night time we have the tree on great mood all the decor from Europe is on there it's so nice when Christmas decorations are up in the house it is so nice and everyone has had that thought haven't they where they go

why don't we just have these all the time because it's special I would happily keep a tree and have different decorations for each season summer decorations Christmas decorations You're saying that, so you can do, like, you start off with the beginning of the year, you do a New Year's tree, then you go into Valentine's Day tree. All love hearts in the tree. Yeah, Easter egg tree. Easter tree. Easter tree. Right then it's like summer break tree.

It's like a surf, you put some surfers in there. You know, you have some sun. You have a big sun up there, like a celebration of the summer solstice. Three for all seasons. Why not? It's, dude. And it's like, it's nice to have like the pine smell.

President's Day. Black History Month? Black History Month. Your tree does black face. No, you put Harriet Tubman up there or something. Yeah, you put Martin Luther King on the top,

Malcolm X in there. You have a decoration of a school bus with Bruce in the front. President's Day. You'd have fucking Lincoln in a, Kennedy and the Lincoln. Memorial Day, you just put red poppies all over the tree? Yeah.

More day. I'm telling you. Why, what's this anti-daycore thing? All these nasty folk who don't like Halloween, who don't like Chris, I'm sick of hearing Christmas coming up. I'm sorry that I like jazz music and warmth and frivolity. December 1st all the way through till the end of the year on Spotify or Tesla.

I just put the Christmas channel. I just listen to Christmas carls in the car for the whole month. The good ones. I don't, you know, I listen to a bit of Bing Crosby. It also listened to John Lennon, you know, war is over. I get it, Felice Navadar, which, as well documented as one of me faves. While I've got you there about things on the radio, I wanted to get your opinion on this, which is, this is the first time.

Let me pull this up. I think it's the first time since the 90s, a rap song, here we go, officially for the first time since 1990 there is no rap song that is appearing in the billboard hot 100 top 40 rap his rap it's because of changing tastes and all that type of stuff i think it's because i okay also it's been the summer of rock bass oasis yeah summer of oasis but also cold play there's been a lot of rock acDCs touring the world as well and poor mccartney's touring all all these things simultaneously. People, if you want to see rock bands,

you can see rock bands at the moment. I also think that normally rap songs, if a real good one happens, it gets through to me. You know, if it doesn't get through to me, then it's not a good one, right? But also,

there was all these big establishment rappers. It was Jay-Z Kanye, and then you had Kendrick, and I'm talking people that reached out to, like, my Nana would recognize, you know, I got 99 problems, but a pitch ain't one,

whatever. You know, everyone kind of heard this stuff. Now, just like stand-up comedy, it's less major stars and more like some strange mumble rapper on, you know, SoundCloud, and everyone has tiny little fiefdoms. And so there is no real, I mean, because we had the Drake and Kendrick beef that was like last year. I think it was like years ago now. Speaking of people being accused of being a nonce, that was the big thing of last year. And now that's kind of over. I don't rap and you know what it is all the rappers have kind of gotten super fucking old like snoop dog is so i've told you this story i don't know if i've told the story in the podcast or on a podcast yet but so when dave chapelle did the um Hollywood bowl um he had he had an after party

called dave and busters and it was a buster rhymes concert right and it fucking i tell you what it fucking banged. I'd never been to a concert like it. It banged. Everyone was jumping up and down. He was in the center of the room. It was in like a nightclubby thing. So it was only like maybe 2,000 people.

And it was fucking killer. And Dave was just up there smoking a cigarette in the middle. And Buster Rhymes is going, and I, you know, I got to go there because I'm, you know, part of the festivals. Netflix is a joke type of thing. I was there with Jimmy Carr. If you ever want to go to a Buster Rhymes concert, and stand next to Jimmy Carr and his three-piece suit and his briefcase,

it's a good way to make you look like the least awkward person in the room. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, you were very urban in comparison. Oh, in comparison, yes. And I was there with Ronnie Chain as well. So Ronnie Chain, me and Jimmy Carr, and this is how you know that all the musicians that I'm growing up with are getting old, right? Halfway through the concert and the room, like his songs,

just bled into each other, just bled into each other. There was no break. It was like, now I'm going to do something up a third hour. It was just bang, bang, bang, straight into it. He has a hype man. He's just like next to him all the time, I'm giving him hype like this, right? And he goes, I want to stop for a minute.

Like this, right? And the music just goes, boom. He goes, I want to say something important. Get your prostate checked. It's important to get your prostate checked. I got my prostate checked and it's saved my life don't think you're too much of a man

to get your prostate checked now let's slap this bitch up like that right we're giving out life alert necklaces Yeah this is all the thing Get yourself life insurance Exactly we were walking past each other the whole time going

I want to talk to you about reverse mortgages You get to live in your house careful in the shower don't be slipping yeah do you need a bath with a door rubber mat they're all old

yeah when buster rhymes told me to get my prostate checked and the whole audience was like I really need to do that that is important that I need to do that my wife always does it my wife had a polyp once and so she's like this

make sure you get your prostate checked it's important you get your prostate checked Now, this is one of the privileges of the haemorrhoid sufferer. If you're a person who constantly has haemorrhoids, I get my prostate checked about seven times a year. No prostate has ever been felt more than my prostate. It's pristine. Last thing is going from his prostate cancer.

Other than the lady boys that Prince Andrew was with, he inspected their prostates quite often. That's how you linked it all back. I was looking for an out. Go get your prostate checked. I dare you to sue me. Have I told that story on here before? No, no, I don't think so.

There was a few other things we could have discussed, which was Lily Allen's new album about David Harbour. Yeah, she's, David Harbour, fucking hell David Harbour fucked up. Like, look, we've all fucked up in life, and we've all made mistakes. But if you get married, you've got to get off the dating apps. I don't care what anyone said. They were like we had, they had an open relationship.

Okay, and her rule apparently was you have to pay for it. Right, well then he wasn't meant to be on the dating house. I guess that was his breach. Yes, she calls it the sex. What's in the song? He has his sex palace and they were meant to be open and she was like, do not embarrass me by letting any of it get public. You're meant to just be ejaculating and there's no feelings and you move on.

But you made a fool out of it. me was her thing. Right. This is why I'm like, I'm not for me. He had an affair in the end, did he? Well, that's that, yeah, I mean, he was allowed to be fucking, but it seems like he had the affair. But for David Harbour, sadly, it's not good.

As Stranger Things comes out, Millie Bobby Brown, who plays the 11 in that show, you know, Millie Bobby Brown. He's been married to Whitney Houston. Filed a harassment, has just filed a harassment and bullying claim before they started shooting the last season, pages and pages of accusations against David Harbour. So this guy is not having a good time. But when they say bullying, what is bullying?

Like, like, it's hard. Like, like, what are the cases she has actually said? What are the actual events that she said? Is it? Because if no other actor has ever said, like, now he's in position now if other actors come out and say, yes, he does bully people on set. but maybe he's a person who likes to keep it light,

makes a few jokes. I'm not saying he's not a bully. They don't even go in. Dude, it says here, last night, representatives for Millie, who now runs an animal rescue center in Georgia. Like, by the,

like, what a puff piece for her, by the way, irrelevant. Just the way they're writing this, Millie, who by the way is a good person and runs an animal shelter, so that's who's being a buddy here at. With her, Millie Bobby Brown, she was the other guest.

Yeah, she's, do you know she's married to Jake Bon Jovi? John Bon Jovi's son? Is he? Yeah. They've declined to respond to Mokal request. And Tony Hawke's son is married to Kurt Cobain's daughter, and they're going to have a kid.

They'll have the coolest kid in the world. And then if we get Millie Bobby Brown's kid and Bon Jovi's kid, and then those two kids, I reckon about 20 years we could produce a superhuman, most famous person ever. Oh, we already have that. It's Christiana Renato's son.

Oh, is he? Is he any good? I think he's a lab-maid. You reckon David Beckin's son talks to him after he gets knighted, goes, all right, dad, pretty good. Oh, yeah, that's always tough, right? Well, you recognize there's a knight,

but your son's still there. I don't want to talk to you. Yeah, that's fucking good. I don't know. This is the thing. is a bullshit thing about the world, by the way. I'm trying to find out what David Harvard did to Millie Bobby Brown. And they're just going harassment. Now, it could have just been yelling at her on the set or, you know, and they just vaguely put it out their harassment.

So I regret bringing it up, to be honest. He seems like a guy that was in an open relationship, handled it poorly, made a pig's ear of it, and now it's open season and they're going to find any allegations against him forever to, but he also just seems to me like a performative woke fuck face so I'm not a fan you know he seems like one of those sneaky male feminist types that's always like talking about

what a lovely sweet guy he is but clearly he's a little bit of a slime ball so also I want spotted him he's an extra in Seinfeld who isn't in that show no but he's an extra he's in the last scene he's like being booked at the police station

I'm like who's this six foot eight fucking tall guy who's Zifa and it was yeah David Harbour he's in Seinfeld So that must redeem him in some way. Okay, and last story. I don't know if you have anything you wanted to discuss, but for me, it's been a scary week.

Got a message from multiple friends. I woke up one morning. Yes. And the story was, here we go, I read you the headline. Croatia military seeks draft for dual citizens living abroad. So I've had the document for less than six months. And I used to joke on stage, they got rid of the language test because they wanted soldiers. There really is a moment in life when you turn like 40, where you go, if they bring the draft back, I'm okay.

Right? I'm un-draftable, right? Let me read you the, because keep in mind. The age bracket. Keep in mind, I don't speak the language. So if I am in basic military service with a drill sergeant, I don't know what I will do. Many of us dual citizens don't. We just wanted the passport.

Right. Okay, so I'm reading it now. It says the Australian news outlet, news.com reports that young men with both Australian and Croatian citizenship will soon receive a call-up notice for military service. Similar reports appeared in regional media sparking concern amongst Croatians with dual citizenship who have lived outside Croatia. publications are coming up here we go 19 to 30 which means only my brother

will die in a Serbian shallow grave and think of the Edinburgh show you'll get out of it well this is what I was going to say to you do you think because apparently it's like I have to do three months will it make will it improve me as a person if I do just go and volunteer and I get my blue beret

if you have to do three months and you you don't have to go to war like the like but i think you i probably will have to it feels like they're drafting for a reason right yeah yeah like three months i'll probably end up dead in kursk you could lose a bit of weight you could fucking chat to all the boys suggest the tree in the corner go we could have a tree in our dorm we what i was going to say let's list like let's list the benefits i do think like i'll get staunch you'll lose weight i'll see a i see a place i've never been Ukraine? Yeah, you'll learn.

I get a magnet from Ukraine. Yeah, you'll learn a different, you'll learn a few words in Croatian. I'm bleeding. And clean that up and all that type of stuff. Medic. Medic. Yeah. Tell my brother, I love him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is what it says, by the way. So we get it, it says we're getting a call up notice by the end of that year. and we'll begin training. It says here, what do you reckon you get paid a month to be in the Croatian military as a conscript? They're on the euro, right? Yeah, on the euro.

On the euro a month. Like a thousand euros a month. Pretty good. 1,100 euros a month. That's terrible, isn't it? So you can't live off that. But you get free rent, don't you? You get to live in the, but what happens to your house

that you have to pay rent on when you're away doing it? You can't pay your bills for that. Do you think, like, I think that's kind of a funny movie about all us Australian wogs who got our ancestral passports going back over for, like, Croatian summer, Yacht Week, and we all get arrested by military police and end up in a trench. Yeah, it's the movie Stripes, but you in Croatia.

Yeah. It's a good movie. I'd like to see that film. Yeah. An army boot camp movie is always a fun film. Always a fun film. It's never a failure. There's always a scene in there that's enjoyable.

I would love a movie, like, basically, Wog Boy 3, Ukrainian War. And so it's called Wogboy 3, the NATO years. And it's me, Nick Chionopoulosimo, and as I've been like, oh my God, bro, I've got to go kill some fucking Russians, man. Okay. Now, not everyone knows the Australian movie, the cinema landscape, right?

So he said Wagboy 3, because there is a Wag Boy 1 and a Wagboy 2. He's not just being racist. This was cinematic releases in Australia, movies called The Wog Boy and Wog Boy 2. What was the Wog boy 2 tagline was, he's Wogger again or something like that? Something like that. Yeah, Electric Woggleoo. So it was, yeah, basically it's just about, we've described it at a ball, but it's an ethnic group in Australia as well, which is just Mediterranean European immigrants

that banned together. It was racist until about the mid-1990s and 2000s when the word became, you know, but we have a shared accent and culture, which I've always loved. It's like, we have our own European Union of sorts where we all like talk like this, where we get one voice, Brett? I don't know. I don't know. You edited this podcast.

So, like, there should be, like, if they did an Aussie-Wog division for the NATO armed forces in the next war, bro, fuck. There's be some hot chicks in Ukraine for sure. I know enough about the Greek-Italian, Australian-Greek Italians and Croatians. I used to sell car stereos. You wouldn't make good spies. You'd smell us coming around with the dupe perfume? But it's just, you're too flashy.

You couldn't sneak in and out of anywhere. You're too flashy, right? You'd show up in a car that's going, do, do, do, do, and you go, oh, just, what's your name? Mr. Bondolopoulos. Hey, we will, if we, if Aussie Woggs went to basic training in Croatia, Greece, Italy, on day three, we'd be like, bro, my neck on,

I fucked my neck when we were doing the jungle gym, and I'm going to need compo payout for that. You're going to have to send me back to Australia, Qantas flatbed first class because you've done real damage to my neck. Yeah, I can't see a doctor here, but I have a doctor at home. He's very good, the best. So that's the way that I'm going to go out.

That could be, I keep saying I need discipline in my life and I need purpose, and I feel like a lot of young men are drifting through life, and we don't know what we want to do anymore. And I think, I don't know. Because it says you can also choose to be a bin man to get out of it. Matt, if you wanted a break from the misses for a couple of months and just, you know, go to Thailand and rent a hotel room, whatever you want to do, right?

Yeah. It's very, what's you got to call you? You know what I mean? Like, you're on boot camp. Yeah, I can't FaceTime you. Yeah? The podcast will struggle over there from the back. I'll go, I'll go, why Amos is in boot camp.

I'll be calling you from a satellite phone in fucking Minsk. all right well that is what's happening at this moment jim you've got a show that you need to get to where are you going i do indeed i get picked up in 30 minutes i've been staying in manchester but you know what i'm doing tonight for the first time in my career i believe i'm playing a theatre in liverpool i normally used to just play two big gigs in manchester and that was going to be all my northern gigs. But I did Sheffield last night, Manchester, two nights before that,

I'm off to do Liverpool. The gigs, I'm telling you, I'm not fucking making up some of the best gigs in my life, the most enjoyable gigs, my UK crowds are fucking, they're just really great people. They're the best, man. They're just the best fucking,

they come to the show without an agenda. Nothing. They're not there to be shocked. They just, you want to know what I like? he fucking makes me laugh he does he fucking says things he does just that that energy it's just all positive and fucking the air like the air is like buzzing when you get to the theater it's wonderful by the way it is inescapable the commonwealth connection right went to our halloween party

in brooklyn and it's mostly americans and i went with a girl called claire who's a manager at top secret over she's just a scottish lass that's been sent over here so as me and claire went and like with my girlfriend and some other American friends 15 minutes into this party it was a Scott a Scousa a Welshman a Canadian and two Australians and like an Irish in the corner going oh they're fucking they got no bans at here like they're a fucking shit chat they're fucking con something I'm like nah they're right they're like nah they're fucking sound Americans and all that but on the on the fucking bears you can't can't have a laugh with them?

And I'm like, what you mean to say is you can't viciously bully each other the way that we can. Well, this is the thing. So Americans do it in a confined, a roast. Let's do a roast. A roast is something that should happen organically amongst friends. And you know what I mean? It's like you should be ribbing into each other and pushing each other's buttons. You know, you should feel it out.

It shouldn't be nine o'clock on Wednesday. We're going to say what we think about you. It's the purge. It's the purge. Yeah, yeah, they purge. Yeah, they do that. And then they're, and then they're, thank you so much. You have a nice day.

The rest of the most polite people in the world, and then they purge each other. Maybe it's a better system. Alas. U.K. shows seem amazing. Yeah. Sad that I'm up there. I'm looking forward to these American shows. As I said, at the beginning of the thing, come and see me in Amos, December 31st, I believe.

Is it 31st? Yeah. New York at Beacon Theatre. There's also a whole lot of other dates going across America. There's a show in Vegas set up. We go to Jim Jeffries.com, but I'll mention that at the beginning of the podcast as well. And when you speak to people in Liverpool today, you should lead with Stephen Gerard would have been knighted. He was better than David Beckham, but he's ugly.

See how that goes. Give that a go. Push that out there. Oh, great with me. Yeah, and Rooney's a Scouser, too. Yeah. Oh, no, look, I'm not going to say that. Oh, you're fucking sold to the earth.

What are you talking about? But it is true. It is. If Rudy had a nice hairline and he didn't have like a Yerval man roundhead. Paul Skolls was a better midfielder David Beckham on the same fucking team. Now, we know why Giggs can't get knighted.

We all know why Giggs can't get knighted because Giggs was fucking his brother's wife, right? I think Prince Andrew could appreciate Ryan Giggs. If Ryan Giggs got knighted, they'd send Andrew in and go. With Schofield. Yeah. Scoles.

By the old. But Skoles. And to end the pod, I'll recommend another pod. Listen to the episode. Even you, if you get a chance. Paul Skoll's episode on the overlap. Stick to football. The Gary never won.

It's such great check because not only his brilliant football and he's an understated guy. Here's a severely autistic son. And he's quit commentary now to like take care of his son. It was a really great episode He seems like a top man Paul Skulls That touches you

That touches you Yeah yeah Okay well enjoy the rest of your tour I'll see you I'll see you next week I'm still gonna be on the tour When he's talked to me I'll talk to you again

Yeah All right mate That's what's happening at this moment Good night Australia Thank you. You know, I'm going to be.

You know, I'm going to be. Thank you.