I Don't Know About That - ATM: Episode 37 - G'Day Pie Lovers!

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

At this moment, Jim and Amos talk about Amos' pie shipper's response to the UPS plane crash, how the US won't allow any obese people to get visas, and waiters over Zoom. Jim's new special "Two Limb Policy" is out now on Netflix! SOCIALS: Jim Jefferies Website: ⁠https://www.jimjefferies.com⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jimjefferies⁠ FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/JimJefferies⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/jimjefferies⁠   Amos Gill IG: @abitofamosgill FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/AmosGillComedy/⁠   Theme Song: "Rein It In Cowboy" by the Doohickeys

As the weather cools down, I'm swapping into pieces that actually get the job done, warm, durable and built to last. And Quince delivers every time with wardrobe staples, that'll carry you through the season. But not just wardrobe staples, homewares, linen, that's what I just bought. I've moved my apartment to New York City, so I need to get a comfortable new wardrobe. I actually already have the US cable knit sweater, which I was looking at some companies cost about $4,500. And the Quince version is better, it's comfortable, it's durable, and I stacked up on a bunch of other winter essentials for my new life here in New York. Quince has the kind of staples you'll actually want to wear on repeat, like 100% Mongolian

cashmere from just $60, classic fit denim and a bunch of suede, if you can take care of it, which Jim and I very rarely can. I've got my eye on a swayed trucker jacket. Yeah, I've always wanted a trucker jacket. And in suede, it's perfect for layering by partnering up. With ethical, factory and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middlemen to deliver premium quality at half the cost of similar brands.

As I said, there's some jackets I want, there's some full knitwears, but I'm looking, man, cashmere at 60 bucks. Who could go past that? Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com slash ATM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too.

That's Quince. Q-U-I-N-C-E-D-com slash ATM, free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash ATM. Good day, everyone. Welcome to At This Moment. Let me start again. Hello, everyone. Welcome to At This Moment. What are we talking about this week, mate?

We're talking about the new way to receive your food in restaurants. Is this the end of interacting with waiters? We have the government shutdown. We have UPS tragedies in the air, and how do you learn about your news? We discuss all those topics and more, but Jim, we are on the road. You particularly in the UK, tickets still available for Europe and UK on Jim Jeffries.com. Anyone specifically you'd like people to come to? We've got a show in Leeds coming up, which still has a few tickets to sell,

but it's like a 5,000 seat venue, so it's a big one, so there's a few there. But apart from that, pretty much all the UK sold out now. so go to jim jeffies.com if you want to go to the UK Norway we have oslo that you could move a few tickets but coming up in America I've got reno I've got Boston but me and you are going to be performing

in New York at the beacon theater one show only get your tickets at jim jeffries.com for January 30th I believe is that right jack yeah he says that's right that is right And I'd like to push a couple of shows.

Lisbon. I'm coming to Lisbon on the 30th of November. Come see me, Lisbon. And Amsterdam, we added a third show on the 12th. So if you haven't got them yet, that is the last and final one, I will add. It's not going as well as we hoped. That is what's happening at this time. Get out there, watch any of us live.

I'll throw a forest date out there as well, if you like. Forest is in Miami. all right hello everyone welcome to at this moment at this moment i am in cambridge about to do a show sold out tonight you're doing the cambridge union giving a speech to the students i am i my wife is here she's actually just in the bed just over there she's she's acting like she's asleep he's listening like a like a hawk are they known for their listening hawks um but uh watching when i wander around with her, I do say, when I went to college, this is one of the bars I used to go into. And we were literally, we're on a train.

I went to a town to a friend's party yesterday. And when we're on the train, it was just, there was a couple in front of us that were so quintessentially rich kid, fucking British, going to Cambridge. And it was just like, oh, it was such a laugh. You had to be there. It was so wonderful. We all had such a great time. It was a real rah, rah, yeah.

And he's like, well, I can. can't be hanging out with Dennis anymore, not after what he said to Mitchie. You know, they were doing all that, right? We were at the head of the river at the rowing, and he was, first of all, he had the wrong shoes on, or what a wanker.

Look like right, plonker. Yeah, but I love that. Don't you love that? Isn't it nice to visit that world for just a moment? It's so funny that the rich accent and how that, it was like, on the train, it was very clear that she fancied him and he wasn't into her and she was trying to act like you know i've got this outfit but i don't know if it looks

any good on me she was just waiting for a compliment he's like oh well you know that's life well wait when you're shopping on a budget you tend to not look as good does my head in these are the people that judge the way the rest of us speak right well i at this moment am here in new york city i'm in the united states where the The government has finally ended its shutdown, which has caused delays. It's caused all sorts of problems, food stamps. The air travel's been a nightmare. I personally have been affected.

Has everyone been paid then money? Has that all been backpaid? I think that's going to be worked out over the next couple days. But Jim, I have myself, I'm an immigrant. You're an immigrant. Ah, yes, yes. That plaque on the Statue of Liberty, bring us your hungry, bring us your dirty, Bring us your unwashed.

Bring us your foul mouth. Yeah. Bring us your foul mouth Australians. Bring him. Bring us your derivative hack club comics. Hello. I think she was talking about me there. Yes.

So I grew up, I was thinking about this the other day. I grew up in an immigrant family where my mum side, I'd go there after school. My mum's side were from Croatia. And I remember being like, man, I hated going to their house because, first of all, they had weird foods that they would buy from a strange supermarket. We had boiled cabbage. You know, we had all this creation, like weird soup stuffed capsicans and whatever. They had assimilated. Well, they assimilated in some ways, but in others, it's like we had a big satellite TV on the roof.

And we would watch like Croatian news all day. No, no, there, this, there, no, that, there's not, port in. it was just that 24-7 weird news weird food i was a kid there was no Croatians that we'd get in the Croatian channels that was living oh yeah that was a that was a present that my auntie gave to my grandparents and it was massive for them so but it was kind of bad because they used to watch channel 10 news and then they got the Croatian news and i felt like it dipped them back into Croatia again rather than Australia but we would watch that strange foods. And I used to make fun of them for it. And now here I am in America. I have a legal

cable device that gets me Australian TV. So I've got channel 7, 9 and 10. What are you talking about? What are you doing? Well, how else can you get Aussie TV? I don't think, look, Channel 10, Suey. One of my favorite things is when I'm in Australia is watching Australian TV again. You miss it. And it's all the news readers and stuff like that. It's the ad. that I like. It's the ads. I just like. And you get that guy,

Koch, and you get the other girl. What's the name? The one that, Sandra Sully. I always used to love the Sully. Yeah, so she's still going, mate.

Sandra Sultry is still divine. What a woman of class. But, so I watch a bit of that in the background. And I also order in pies. Now, I've learned how to make sausage rolls out of necessity because I can't buy them.

I want to, I want to give a little shabry. We came down through Cumbria to drive down here from Scotland. We stopped at the T-Pain gas stations. Have you ever stopped at the T-Pain services? Are we talking about the American rapper? No, it is. There is services in Cumbria, which are just owned by one family, right?

And they make all the stuff in the services themselves. So you can get a fry-up, you can get a fish finger sandwich. They make fresh sausage rolls, fresh pies. they have cakes. Then they have a supermarket that would rival air one. As good as Harrods, off to the side, with the butchers and all the time of stuff. It's a magical services. Anyone who knows them will know exactly what I'm talking about.

I had a Cumbria sausage, sausage roll. One of the great meals. It was butter pastry. Very good. Very good. No, I respect that. So you order in sausage rolls and meat pies. I order in sausage rolls and meat pies.

So I have, in many ways, become my grandfather, which is foreign news service, strange foods. shipped in, twisties, whatnot, snakes alive. It's all teases. Because my son loves red frogs. I get him red frogs all the time. That's like one of his things from Australia. He prefers Australian candy and all the stuff. He sort of keeps it to himself.

I don't think it's called in school to be the kid who eats cabarees and stuff like that, yes. So unfortunately, my shipment hadn't arrived. And I was like, huh, the pies and Aussie snacks are late. were they were they frozen frozen pies frozen pies nothing special about it but just a taste of the footy like a four and 20 yeah yeah love okay so i'm not going to name the pie company but i got an email updating me where my package was yes okay here's the headline in the email uPS shipment delays bracket a plane blew up so that catches my attention So obviously, at the same time this was going on,

there was the Louisville, Kentucky UPS plane disaster. So I'm thinking, oh, my God, my pies are on that plane. Okay. I didn't know it had valuable cargo. Let me read you the email that this guy who owns his business is sent out to all of his customers. Tell me if you think he might need a HR person to be hired. Here we go.

Gide pie lovers. Already good. There's been a tragedy. There's been a pain accident, a pain smashed on the ground. People have died. G'd a pie lovers. It doesn't start with, it is with deep regret. Dear valued customers, I'm writing with a heavy heart.

No, get-a-pie lovers. Look, I understand brand equity and maintaining sort of consistent copy. But, gidd-a? Like, even in Australia, you don't find out bad news from the doctor. Gide, mate. You got cancer. Yeah. G'day, white cell counts.

Oh, no. You know how they love that over here about us? Oh, no. So, gai-lovers, that's me. Yeah. A UPS plane crashed at the Louisville International Airport on Tuesday, causing an explosion. And as of Wednesday morning, at least 12 people are dead and 15 injured. at least 16 people are still missing not to mention packages gone which is negligible in the

comparison to life oh yes yes you know just being told that your pies are on the plane that crashed that's enough you're like well i'm still thinking about the pies but yeah i guess it is sad the people are dead yeah but i know you spent your hard-earned pie money and you want your Tucker. To translate for Americans, Tucker is an Australian word for food. We have a tucker box if you live in the outback, you're a minor or something like that where the food's kept. The food store at schools in Australia is called the tuck shop, short for the tucker

shop. So there you go. So he's obviously put that in there because he's like, I know I've told you people are dead and missing and there's a fireball, but obviously he thinks his customers are going, I don't give a fuck, mate. Where's me buy? Also, also, is he just assuming that he only sells to Australian, that he hasn't pierced through the American market in any way?

Because he's using, he's using words that none of them will understand. But even when I saw Tucker, I thought you're laying it on a bit, see? Yeah, yeah. Come on. Okay. Some of you are seeing exceptions in the tracking. If you see that, your package is one of those resulting in delays. as a flow-on result, there have been rerouting shipments and flights,

and many of you in Tennessee and Florida have not received orders shipped out this week. He goes on to say, the chances are the pies you will receive in this shipment will be fucked. How does he say fuck? He says fuck. So, basically, I think maybe some of the pies were also in that warehouse. You're kind of salvage the pies from the pies. the wreckage? Is it the same pies?

He may be, he's thinking, we're trying to, yeah, we're trying to get some of the pies out of that warehouse that was affected. Yeah. Or UPS is being grounded and the pies are sort of going bad. I think that has to be. UPS is grounded. Well, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

What's the fastest way to de-frost a pie? I can't the plane next to them, I reckon. Well, hey, listen, at least those first responders after seeing some trauma had a nice four and 20 chunky steak to take the edge off. Oh, it's horrible, but it smells delightful. They wouldn't have known to eat it with ketchup. They just wouldn't have known it. So we are working around the clock to remake all those shipments that say exceptions

in the trekking and we'll schedule them to send out early next week. And then he brings it home strong. I'm sorry for the delay of the pies. Our hearts go out to those that lost their lives. Thanks. Wait a minute. So it crashed into the shipping center. Yeah, it crashed.

And that's where the other pies were. Or he doesn't go into details on that. Maybe the pies were on the UPS plane. I believe they're on the plane. Or it's just that the supply chain now is completely, as he would say, fucked because they've grounded all of the things. And what I loved about this is, do you know how many times, Jim, I have spoken to people in the corporate world?

And I go, what do you do for a living? And I go, I work in HR. And I go, what a pointless job. needless like you get in the way of business by being like we need to make it politically correct no they really are HR people they really are a big waste of time well yeah they're difficult whenever you say I always like because I only had dealt with HR when I've worked on TV shows like my my company right now it's just me and Jack and Jack get sexually harassed all the time don't you big guy I do all right

All right, that's compliance. That means he's up for it. Anyway, but I've met some nice HR. The thing about HR people is when they meet you, they always try to act more friendly than they are. They're like this, oh, no, you're going to hate me, but I'm actually a bit of fun. They're like the teacher that comes in, like,

I am in control of the class, but I do things a little bit different around here. Yeah, they're the prison guard of the office. Yeah, yeah. You treat me with respect. I'll sneak you a couple of cigarettes. Like, let's, come on. But obviously, this is a family run small business, right?

And I was describing it to a friend as, this is a mum and pop shop where mom is dead and pop has autism. And he's not quite sure how he's meant to respond to his customers because to me, it seems like he's going, well, you know, back in the day, everyone was angry about no updates on tracking. They were like, where's me pies? you need to give me more information and now I'm giving them information

I'm telling them literally exactly where the pies are and I'm still the fucking bad guy do you want to know where the pies are or do you not want to know where the pies are do you want to know where the pies are fucked mate I told you the pies are fucked yeah

I'm just trying to keep you up to date do they sell things like custard tarts and lambings and you know stuff like that or is it just strictly pies what was your order I just do like a basic a 12 pack of pies, party pies as well, just the small ones.

Yeah, party pies. Just a little snake. So then I got to update the other day. So this was about four days ago, right after the tragedy. Okay. He's come back with a new one. And as soon as I saw it hit the inbox, I thought, someone's complained. Because, listen, I'm not offended, but it did make me go, whoa.

I didn't like was the start of Hello Pie Lovers. Personalize it. Hello Pie Lover. Why does it have to be a blanket email? Act like you're writing to me directly. You can't have that many orders. Pie lovers. So the new email comes through Monday 10th of November.

I thought maybe he's had time to reflect and go, listen, I didn't mean to make light in any way of... It better start with struth, pie lovers. It's been a hard week. Get a pie addicts. Oh, no. wait for this remember that UPS plane that tragically crashed last week

question mark I forgot that news travels so quick it's already been replaced that's chip paper turns out that set off an old domino effect flights got reshuffled FedEx and UPS chucked up delay warnings and now the fucking government

yes the politicians fucking suck have shut down grounding even more flights So, yeah, we're in a bit of a logistical cluster fapai. So he really said fuck this many times in the email. I don't even know what this pun was meant to be. He meant to say logistical cluster fuck. And he goes, logistical cluster fuck pie. Yeah, fuck pie.

He makes it all populated. The bullshit kicker. None of the carriers are covering the delays right now. Their warning of delays takes out the responsibility, which makes the shipping as risky as trusting a seagull. your chips. It's as risky as trusting a sea going to be on your chips. You're not wrong.

You can't trust a seagull near your chips. You've got to hover over them. We are hustling hard to reorganise your pies, replace affected orders, and keep fresh pies flying out the door. If you're not absolutely desperate for your pies this week, I'd recommend giving it another week to dodge the chaos. Thanks for sticking with me. He's basically saying, go get an empanata.

It's not the same thing, but close enough. Yeah, no, no, but he's cooking pies like a mania. Like, I feel like he would have only lost 10 orders or something, right? It couldn't, he can't be that bigger business where that day he's putting out more than 10, 20 orders a day, right? I have no idea. Truly. And we're not, I'm not going to tell you what this business is.

He's in his kitchen, right? It's a guy in a kitchen. God bless this man. He's doing good work. But why do you think that Le Char has gotten involved? He seems to have gotten worse. The second email is worse than the first one. You said that someone's complained.

The second email is what I'm saying. I thought it was going to be, oh, I should just let you know. Yeah, my language is a bit fruity with the chaos that was going on in the death. No, no, no. He doesn't give a shit. He's, listen, he's there for the pie lovers. And the pie lovers want to know where their damn pies are. Are you ordering more?

Oh, listen, I'll keep supporting this business. You've got to wait for this shit, man. Thanks for sticking with me through this political circus that's killing small business. I promise the pies will be worth the weight. The funny thing is, on Friday, I asked all of the AI engines, when do you reckon this shutdown will be over? And hey, check out this result. GROC says, my prediction is the shutdown ends by November 13.

Chat GPT told me it will end on November 17. Perplexity said the most likely date is November 24 or 25. So we'll keep you updated and we'll see which one of these chat GPT type things is right first. I know like it's AI and the pie business working alongside of each other, helping each other, using the AI as a tool to actually produce pies. Is there a chance that chat GPT put together this email? That's what I want to know. No, no.

There's no AI that would chat with pie py addicts. The world's fucked. Everything's fucked. Can't get your fucking pies. But this is everything. Like, I'm making fun of it in some ways. But in other ways,

the world has become so corporate managed. Like everything is corporate speak and chat GPT speak that even though there was a tragedy, God, this made me laugh. I'm going to support this company. This guy's a battler. He's working hard. He's putting that email in together.

You know why he's doing it? He's fucking covered in flour and gravy on. shirt and all that type of stuff. The base is a fucking mess. He does it all from his kitchen. There's no way to go as a factory. And what makes me laugh is, do you think on every other tragedy there's been as far as crashes, has there been shipping updates for like MH370?

Do you reckon like during 9-11, his email was even more sort of like, oh. This is like on September 12, your stockbroker's like, not going to have any reports for you today. Unfortunately, my computer is fucked. My computer is fucked. Car drive is fucked. Can't even get lift up to computer. No more up.

Dust all over spreadsheets. Cough, cough, cough. It's like, yeah, man, I've seen the news. And this is the other thing about the world today. In the past, we would find our news at 6pm from a guy with a moustache with a soothing voice who would tell you everything that happened in the day and he would put it through a filter that had been carefully managed and this tragedy happened today. These scenes were recorded earlier.

The news was facts given to you in a very direct way without too much emotion. And curated to 30 minutes, here's what happened. Okay. And so at 6pm, you've probably come home from a long. day, you've had a beer and you're kind of ready to take information. The strange thing about the world today is you can find out about a plane disaster at 8 a.m. by opening up your phone like this and you get an email from a pie import company that goes, 16 dead and plane crash, your pie is fucked.

Look, the way that we find out information now is madness. How many guys, you reckon, forgotten anniversary? and then that plane crash went down and then just the fucking gift i was getting you the flowers i was getting near the perfume i got your fucking crashed in this bloody thing fuck the world's fuck ruin everything yeah you just need a ship you just need to make a fake shipping document one of our one of our listeners right now is listening to the podcast going oh fuck is it too late i can blame i can blame the plane accident you had to get right on there in 48 hours you had to be Yeah, to be fast.

And I think the, like, I think the shipping's going to be done forever. Like, I ordered some T-shirts from True Classic the other day. I didn't need of some white t-shirts. They told me it could be four weeks. So get your pie.

The government shut down. No, because they've grounded UPS because of the, did the end? Did you see the video? The engine just fell off on takeoff. Right. It just wasn't screwed on.

That seems like it wasn't screwed on properly or so. I mean, we're not air crash investigation. but it fell off as simple as that you know one time I was standing when I the one time I did

the Melbourne Comedy Festival I was standing out in the street and and this fucking car came down and the wheel just came off the car

and the car just went on the three wheels and started grinding and fucking sparks were coming out and then the wheel went down the road and it went into traffic

and car started smash it into each other right and this was all because the guy was just like I just came from the tire place. I just had my tires, though. They just didn't, they just didn't zip it on.

Hey, even in the F1, they stuff it up sometimes. Mip, me, mish. He put the things on, he lightly screwed on the bolts, but never did the tightening bit. He just forgot on one wheel. New story. I need to give you another story to react to quickly, actually. Okay.

Related to this air crash. Okay. So we mentioned the shutdown. The shutdown went for 42 days. I don't understand the government shutdowns, to be quite honest with you. This is the second one that's happened in the time that I've lived in America. And I sort of get it, but I don't like the government can't get along with the other government. And so they say, we're going to stop paying government employees and sort of they try to smoke the other party out.

So who has, who has conceded what's happened? I'll read you, I'll read you the news from the, this is from the New York Times. Senate passes bill to reopen government amid Democratic Rift. Day 41 of the shutdown signaled an end in sight to weeks of gridlock. Eight members of the DNC supplied the critical backing. So eight Democratic senators broke ranks with other Democrats and said enough of this. People need to get their food stamps, et cetera. We need to just.

Christmas is coming. Christmas is coming. People need to get moving around the country. It's scary for people right now. I don't know if you saw all the viral videos of pilots talking to the passengers being like, I know you're scared. we do have people in the towers. They are paying attention.

Because a lot of people thought like, oh my God, they're flying blind up there. Which a side note to that, don't you think United, Delta, American, the major ones, should just employ their own people in the towers? Like, why is that even a government service at this point? Shouldn't they just provide their own staff? The idea is that you have government oversight. So there's rules and regulations that have to be followed. But you could still give rules and regulations to these people that have to be filed.

There has to be a certain amount of people employed, certain amount of people on shift. They have to have a certain qualification, you know, this, that and the other. But yeah. Do you remember earlier when, like, I think it was like three months ago, we found out that Newark Airport's safety computers were running off a three and a half inch floppy disk? Yeah. It's only that little, it's a little circular blip, blip, flip thing and the thing coming in. I feel like there should be some private money that they are forced to pay to update it themselves.

Have a tower that has employees for United American Airlines, Delta, you know, Mexico, whatever, you know what I mean? Like, you can't really do that, can you? Well, they have to pay for access to the terminal, right? So they put in money to get a gate. And that's how they share the cost of the airport. They lease the gates. And that's why the bad airports, those are the bad things like Spirit, get the ones that are out when you need to take a bus.

Yeah, way out in the boonies, you get on the bus or you've got to like get off on the tarmac and then walk in that way. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, you get the good ones and the bad ones. Like some airlines get their own terminal, like British Airways and Heathrow or whatever. Yeah. But still going to be the same tower. It doesn't matter what shitty gate you've got. Yeah, but if they all put money in, then again, if you're flying spirit, you'd be concerned that they're going to have one of those blind and dead.

F midgets that Trump was talking about. Yeah. One of those diversity higher air traffic people, they're out to get you. You know what I think would be an amazing experience? What would you think of this as an experience at an airport? I would love to have a fake, a fictionalized version. This might just be my, this might just sound like a complete loser's idea.

I'd love to do like a one-hour shift of working in the tower to see like how much stress that is like a simulator of that. I don't think it's any stress whatsoever. I don't think there's any stress until there is stress. You know, and I don't think you know your stress until right before it happens. I think the rest of it is you're clear to go or this to go or that to go. If you could circle around, the runway, I think it's pretty chill.

I don't think it would be that stressful. It'd be stressful for that dude in Washington. when the army that guy wasn't having a good shift he's just like you open one Pringles container

and you're fucking or you shake it into your mouth you know what I mean I sound like such a cuck by the way I'm not like I'd love to do a flight simulator I'm like

oh I'd love to be a simulator of an FAA worker up in a tower I think you can get that done pretty easily I think you can train up for it you're smart enough once you've got your green card once you're married and you become an american citizen and the comedy dries up fucking you can do it every day if you want i reckon you're

qualified enough to do it every day yeah well you know there's also a lot of in america they're always doing jokes and stuff like that on the uh have you ever seen have you ever had a hostie that does like gags uh the one that gives it like the one that lands in los vegas He goes, welcome to lost wages. Oh, like that, right. And we're going to be, we're going to be flying up here. And then if you want to go through the exit,

just go through the hole in the side of the plane. Right? Yeah, all that. Yeah, I've seen. There won't be enough flights to know that yet. Yeah, that could be the end of my comedy career as I just sort of, just get it out by. Videos of when, like, someone's pushed their child,

like the flight's being delayed, and then the child gets up and sings a soul or through the fucking speaker. Oh, that's the worst. when it turns into young talent time up there. Yeah, and everyone has to clap like it's a fucking kid singing a song down a tannoy.

Yeah, that's unpleasant. I've been in that situation. I've seen it on the line. I've actually sat through it. I just, you know, it's funnier to me when they're just nasty. Like the ones in Europe. I mean, spirit,

and as soon as is in Europe. Oh, the worst, aren't they? Yeah, no, they don't like you. When you come on, Forrest could never handle them. Forrest would lose his shit once a European tour because his customer service from America was taken away for him and it was it was not good for his brain he was like one of those robots like why are you bullying why are you

telling me off trying to put my do you need seatbelt extender is there anything that i've never gotten to the seatbelt extend that stage but it's not i'm not far away from it i've used plenty of seatbelts at full extension but i've never used the extender the extender is you're really got to look into your life, you've gone too far. I just remember one of them said it to him in a really mean turn. He's like, you know, in America they'd come up to you quietly and they'd touch you and they go, we can get you the belt, sir.

It's like in Europe, they make it out like I'm a goddamn horse and a stable. Yeah, exactly the same as the hand luggage where you put the hand luggage into the little bracket to see if you can fit. They should have a chair out the front. You've got to fit the chair.

Before you go, whether you pay for two cheques, why not? So, it's no different than the bag. So instead of a scale. Me being told off for my bag, we were in Europe, my bag is two kilos over. And each day it was like, you have to move something. So I moved stuff into my backpack, and then I carried a shopping bag for a different shit as well. And you do all these different things. And then at the end of it, you're two kilos less.

But the weight's still the same. It's still on the plane. If you're humongous, you're telling me, like, maybe in a little. discreet room. Maybe take them off to a room and make them sick. Oh, well, but then we'd all know what that is. You go, oh, no, you've been taken to the chubby checker room. As the weather cools down, I'm swapping into pieces that actually get the job done, warm, durable and built to last, and quince delivers every time with wardrobe staples, that'll carry you through the season. But not just wardrobe, staples, homewares,

linen, that's what I just bought. I've moved my apartment to New York City, so I need to get a comfortable new wardrobe. I actually already have the US cable knit sweater, which I was looking at some companies cost about $4,500 and the Quince version is better, it's comfortable, it's durable, and I stacked up on a bunch of other winter essentials for my new life here in New York. Quince has the kind of staples you'll actually want to wear on repeat like 100% Mongolian cashmere from just $60, classic fit denim and a bunch of suede if you can take care of it, which Jim and I very rarely can. I've got my eye on a suede trucker jacket.

Yeah, I've always wanted a trucker jacket and in suede. It's perfect for the layering. By partnering up directly with ethical factory and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. As I said, there's some jackets I want. There's some full knitwears. But I'm looking, man, cashmere at 60 bucks. Who could go past that?

Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com slash ATM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quince, quince, q-u-in-cce.com slash ATM, free shipping and 365 day returns, quince.com slash ATM. Yeah, yeah, the chubby checker. What a great reference. Chubby Checker doing the twist.

If your belt's doing the twist. You come over there. Second, you've got to purchase a second. He's backup band we're called the Fat Boys. It's Chubby Tecker and the Fat Boys. He's the guy you need to promote it. Bring out Chubby Checker if he's still alive. Let's see.

You do that twist. You have to be able to twist in your seat. Because, listen, it is, it is bad over here in the States. And we are going to carry on talking about this government shutdown. But in the meantime, I might as well put it in while we're staying on topic, this Trump administration thing about chubby checkers. What's happened? So it says now, Trump says U.S. visas can be denied to fat people from now on.

Do we have our weight on the visas? Well, you also, you have an interview, right? Right. Trump's a fat man who's very clearly on the OZNB, who's lost a bit of eight from the OZNB. But when he was, I remember, what's his name, Sean? Who was the press guy? You know the guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sean Spicer. I was interviewing Sean Spicer, and I said, Sean Spicer, I said that Donald Trump is four inches taller than me, and he says he weighs five pounds less than me. and I'm not having it

and he was just like well that's what the president said that's what's happening and I said yeah but he's not that way he's not because why are you so concerned about this why does it matter and I go because if you can lie about this he can lie about anything

so we've got a bloke who lies about his weight always that's his thing right look look I'm not immune to to trying to Jedi mind trick people about how good my body is as well right and he's telling people that they're too fat

so what's the cutoff 300 pounds i don't know what the cutoff is let i was seeing the article here but i imagine there's something here about like we've we've already got fat people and we need we need to keep we need to keep the ozepic and wake over for our people stop letting the fat see maybe they're coming here they're taking al manjaro yeah they're taking al manjarro here here's the thing all right for the facts, right? If the facts want to come into America, maybe don't like, you can't come in if you're over this weight.

Let's see how angioia, because it's more a problem that they're frail and they can't move. So they can come into the country, but they have to come in with illegal Mexicans. You know what it could be like is when I was in a rowing team. Ice people will think they're one of them and let them through. When I was on a rowing team, we used to have after parties.

yeah and this is this is awful like i'm talking when i was in grade 11 you mean after parties after a race yeah there's a thing called the head of the river and uh it would be a big that each school would have a party and it was like the time where the rowers were like that was you were hot shit if you're in there in the in the eight party with the other rowers and what they like uh you know how you row rowing guys are always nausey nauseating people yeah so i i'd never done it before

And I went to my first part, I went to my first one. I wasn't in the first eight or anything like that. But they put two oars up on the door. And I was like, what's that? And they go, if a chick can't get through the oars, we say no to those whores. I agree with everything they said except for you don't call them whores. Well, they were just looking for a rhyme, weren't they? You know what they're doing if they can't get through the yours.

And then, but then like a fat dude would come and they'd be like, ooh, they'd open it up. Be like, no, boy. Yeah, but he could be white. he could be Jack Donald Schwarzenegger and his date through the yours. And so that's essentially become the new policy of the United States. It reminds you of the LEG thing where he only lets him the fit immigrants,

like the sexy girls. So, okay, so we've got to figure out, first of all, we've got to find out what the weight is or whether it's, because if it's on the BMI thing, it can be completely off, your height to muscle. If you're a big muscular person, I'm morbidly obese, according to BMR. Yeah, yeah, you are, according to me, too.

Both BMI and eyes. And I'm not a scientific measurement. I just have eyes. I don't have BMI, I have I. The eye says. The eyes are you? You're just obese. You're not morbidly obese, are you?

Yeah, I don't think I'm a high end of obese because I've got a high muscle density, gym, for a powerful glute. How much do you weigh? Like 86 kilos? So, well, that's like 190 pounds? Yeah, 511. 511. All right. I'm 205, but I'm 6 foot.

So that's about right. So here's the directive. The directive from the State Department. So by the way, we're talking about the government shutdown. And when the government opens up, this is the kind of stuff they'll be looking to enforce. It's weird because they're both talking about, so food, there's food stamps for Americans. So maybe, again, they're protecting the food supply because it's obviously lacks in abundance here. indicates that people applying for visas to the United States may be rejected

if they have certain medical conditions on the grounds that they could take up domestic healthcare resources. This is what we're talking about. It's private health care. If they've got their insurance, it's all paid for healthcare. So what the fuck are we going to, you know what I mean? You can't get into them for doing that. You must consider an applicant's health, certain medical conditions, including but not

limited to cardiovascular disease, respiratory disease, cancer, diabetes, metabolic disease, neurological disease, mental health conditions. The announcement then goes on to mention obesity, stating it can be connected to asthma, sleep apnea, and higher blood pressure. Can be connected. It is connected. All of these require expensive long-term care. Does the applicant have adequate financial resources to cover the cost of such care

over his entire lifespan without seeking public dollars or assistance in a long-time institutionalisation at government expense? All right. There's no government expense. give us any health care. What are you talking about? There's no health care. There's no government health care. They'll say Obama care or something like that. But if you're on a food visa, you can't use that shit. Taking it, so it says here, denying fat people from the US because they might end up having health issues is incredibly broad, cruel and unusual. Yeah, it also

feels like a honeypot. It's like, where do fat people want to go? This is the country of the fat. I don't know what we're talking about. First of all, you think you would stop smokers, right? They're more unhealthy than the fat. Every time I do a TV show, every time I do a host something, I have to go do a medical. And in that medical, they ask you questions where if you have to answer every sense. All we're teaching

people is to lie, right? What we're teaching people to lie? It's like when you come into the airport on the note, have you ever been a terrorist? There's no terrorist that ticks the yes box. No, no, no. Were you involved in a genocide? Yes. But I was, listen, how involved. I did the admin for the hoodies.

I was on the other side. I was on the other side. I was on the other side. Oh, yeah. All my family's dead. I was super involved. I pushed some papers. You can't get more involved.

Because that's the other thing is you, so this is up to one, because I've gone for visa, so of you. Yes. So you're going, you have an interview. So that means that the. has to be a visa guard, let's say at the London embassy, who's like, give us a twirl. Yeah, it's a 12, yeah. Touch your toes.

Like a little door to go in, give them the fat chair to sit in, bring the tape measure. There should be a tape measure that if it doesn't get all the way around. Right. Because ultimately it does come down to one person. It's one person's opinion. because I don't know if I don't want to do my I'll do I'll tell you one of my jokes I don't stand it but I really believe this is an idea

is so my view on healthcare in America because this is going to be the big topic of the next couple of years is I always say if you want healthcare you do have to care about your health though so in countries with socialised medicine we actually do have and I've noticed this way more

culture of shaming people who are obese, smokers, and doing reckless behaviour. So wear your helmet, wear your helmet, don't smoke cigarettes, don't be obese, because we're paying for that. Yeah. I used to get frustrated. When I lived in England, I used to find it so funny that they always used to, because, you know, it is public health care, they always used to rag on smokers with the go, the average smoker

cost the NHS 10,000 extra pounds than a number. non-smoker because of smoking related illness that the government that we the people have to pay for right but cigarettes costs one dollar one pound a packet and they sell them for 20 pounds now so that's 19 pounds worth of tax say governor let's say 15 pounds worth of tax yeah the average smoker throughout their lifetime spends couple hundred thousand pounds on taxes extra taxes my argument is is they've paid for their cancer. If you're saying it costs $10,000 more,

we need these smokers. Otherwise, just stop taxing the cigarettes or stop selling cigarettes completely. Also, they'll probably die younger so they require less money in elderly care. No money from nursing homes. If anything, we need more smokers. We need people to drop dead at 75.

For the economy. With the economy. Yeah. So the thing I was going to say about this They did a fat tax here in Britain when I lived here where they started adding 15% on to Mars bars and stickers and stuff like that and they did it because they said it'll stop people

Do you really think an extra 5P onto a Mars bar is going to stop a fat fuck from eating the Mars bar? They're already, it wouldn't stop me if I want a Mars bar I'm going to have a fucking Mars bar you can't upcharge by 5 cents and then my limit has been reached. Yeah, if anything, you need to say

subsidy on healthy foods, you need to make the healthy foods cheaper than the Mars bar. But even then, people say that, people like their fucking Mars bars. I think they made some good steps forward and smaller Coke cans. Getting rid of the big gulps in New York, those real big sodas that are ridiculous. But like when America talks about freedom, right? When you have socialized medicine, the point of freedom is it's like, yeah, it's up to you. That's why they have the big gulp and the treat your body like shit because you're paying for it ultimately. So this was my health care plan for America is it is free universal health care because it's a human rate.

Yes. However, if it is on the government dollar, you do lose your freedom. And so you know this joke I've been doing. I really believe in this. When you scan a QR code menu at a restaurant, the front camera scans your face and AI analyzes it and limits the options on the menu by what it sees. Yeah. I've been moving my son over. where fat people start taking anorexics out like i need you to look at this i want the cake

i get my moving my four year old over i get whatever i want off the kid's menu but that is there's something to that isn't it because if you want it paid for when was when were you a kid and cakes were fucking a foot tall when were they this tall What do you mean? Layers, eight layers. It used to just be maybe two layers with a bit between, and a cake would be about that big. Maybe a cake would be three inches high.

Yeah. You'd have a slice a gate. Now you go to a party and they slice it and there's so many layers that when it comes out is this big fuck-off wedge that just go dunk on the side. Layers, three maximum. Three maximum.

It's all layers you can do. You can put that up there with the, The trend, my least favorite trend in the world of food was the milkshakes with fucking marshmallows, pretzels, cake in the thick shake. Just make it a good thick shake and leave it at that. We don't need that bullshit on top. Drawing suck chunks up. So, yeah, actually, it's the, dude, it's the Instagrammification of food.

A blended up Snickers bar inside a milkshake is a fucking delight. Now, I'll tell you where I go wrong. You don't need to put whipped cream on top of it. It's already got fucking ice cream in it that's been blended up with milk and a stickers bar. What's this extra on top? I don't want that. It's for Instagram.

The icing on a cupcake used to be used to get a knife and they smeared a bit of ice cream. When do they start piping it into a fucking turret on top of the cupcake? No one likes it. It's just visually appealing. It's all, everything's for Instagram. It's not good.

You can't, if you hold it, you eat it, then people think they're intelligent. by ripping up the bottom and making a sandwich. You're not meant to make a sandwich, just a player of ice. That's what I'm saying is everything now is geared toward the image and the photograph as opposed to the actual use. Yes.

You know, the basic use is, you know what's tastier than all those bullshit trend cakes? Is the country women's association's most basic scone with a bit of butter and jam and cream on it. Lovely, a bit of cream. But it doesn't, but it photographs like shit,

so no one's interested in it anymore. Because life is all about, snapping a picture than actually enjoying that's what's terrible about everything is and you see it here in new york every there's a line 200 meters long because this place does a sandwich that and the photographs look incredible or like oh you've got to get the croissant at this very trendy bakery mate they're all fucking good croissants have you got a bagel stores as you move there that's the thing that new york americans can't do bread but for ever reasons they can do bagel and pizza bases it means they can do bread

because you've got Jews and Italians so Jews and Italians yeah yeah but they can make pizza bases and bagels second and another fantastic can't do a loaf of bread to save their fucking life yeah I'm a big shout out to Apollo bagels

down the road for me that's where I go we actually have but there's lines miles long for all the hot ones and the business actually I've got a few businesses I'll pitch you this conversation's gone off the rails okay so my first one is something that pisses me off about America.

Talk about having a low trust, non-socialized society. Have you ever walked around in an American city and you need to take a piss? Yes, I have. That's something I've done, yes. Need to have a piss. Where are the public toilets? They have those ones that just sort of clean themselves in New York, don't they? No, like, you can't find them anywhere.

And I realize in Australia, one, we have the public toilets, but two, we're a pub system. And pub means public house. So really, if I need a piss, I'll just walk into any pub. have a slash and get out. America is so geared towards toilets for customers only, and so you have to buy something. And when you're busting for a piss in the city, you're like, well, I don't want to piss on the street.

That's why, because everyone complains, oh, New York, Chicago, they smell of piss. We'll give people somewhere to piss. I got caught pissing in an alleyway in Amsterdam about 15 years ago. Just needed a piss behind a dump star, you know, not pleasant, right? A cop car comes up with the lights on a mid-piss and the Dutch cop comes out

and he fucking tells me off and this is what he starts with, he goes, where are you from? Because once he realized I hadn't accepted and he couldn't actually give me a fine or anything like that, there's nothing to be done to a tourist. So this cop was like, why is you piss like that? You should just pay 10 euros to piss on a prostitute. It's a piss on a prostitute, right?

So he goes, he goes, so you think this is smart and clever to be piercing on the streets. But I'm not wasting the soul. You think I wanted is ish, ish like that. It's more like this, ish, ish. So you think it is clever to be pissing on the street? Is this something that, where are you from? And I said, Sydney. He goes, would you piss on the streets of Sydney?

And I went, no, I would never like that. And then he goes, then why would you piss here? Right. No, I'm so sorry. I just was full. I couldn't find a place. I'm just talking my way out of trouble, right? But the truth is, I pissed on the streets of Sydney plenty of times.

The people who do it the best, the British got so sick of people pissing, they just had out the front of the nightclubs, just big plastic fucking urinals that you can just walk up to. You see them all over Europe now. They set them up for the night. Yeah, set them up for the night. It's got to be a hard shift when you come out. So here's my idea for, for, for,

people in New York or other cities. This is, you remember George Costanza had an app of all the best toilets around and it was in Curb Your Enthusiasm when they were doing the remake of Seinfeld. George Costanza was organizing an app with rating system for all the toilets around New York.

I am building on Costanza. Okay, I actually forgot about that when I came up with this. So that is annoying. But my one was this. You just, just, just be happy I've done it because the comments would have told you. They would have, I know, but not, but this is a little different. This is mine.

So I went into a, I went in, I was so busting that I went into just a random coffee shop. And it was toilets for customers only. So I bought like a pastry, like a, it was like a little pie, little pie slice. And I quickly downed it. And then I go, what's the toilet code? They go, nine two, five, two. I go, thank you. Went in, used a loo.

And then I wrote down in my phone. Red Bakery 9252 And then I thought What if we created a Google sheet You've just told it Is that the actual code for the Red Bakery? No, it's not the Red Bakery

I wouldn't give it away for free Because you've got to sign up to my print Right, right, right, right That's for the Patreon So I wrote down 9252 And I said to a friend who lives around here I go if you need a piss 9252 Right

And then we were like What if we put together a Google sheet Of all of the toilet codes for the bathrooms in New York City at these sort of like busy coffee shops, the Starbucks, whatnot. And then we were like, yeah, but you'd have to be careful

with who you handed out to. You want high trust people only. Because you don't want to be a pig. You don't want this to be public. You want people to be nice for when you get there. So here's my, this is where my IP comes in. You're going to be accepting people.

You have to accept people. But this is where my idea comes in that I think makes it brilliant. I don't know if you've ever used a lime scooter or a lime bike, but at the end you have to take a photo of the way you left the bike and that you've put it back in good order. Otherwise, you get fine.

So in my system, after you've used the loo, you have to take a picture of the bowl and upload it to make sure you didn't leave piss and shit everywhere. And if you did, you're no longer in our group. Right, but how, how, like, what's to stop people from saying it was like that before I got there? You've got to take it before and after? Yeah, what, like a rental car?

Yeah, before. You've got to go around and do some nicks and stuff like that? Look, it may be, listen. People listening to this will probably say, just buy a fucking coffee, you cheap skate. But I like the idea. Yeah, 9252. Because I can't tell you how many times I've whipped it out

and I've had to go down an alley. And I don't want to do that. I want to be out of fire the city. And so, okay, on the app, how would the app make money? Would you pay for this?

This is what I mean. At the moment, it's just a Google sheet for friends. But I guess, if you wanted to crowdsource it, then businesses could charge you. Instead of having to buy $5 on a croissant, they could be like,

it's $2 to use our loo, and they could advertise their prices around town. I don't like the paying for a toilet. You do that. I don't want to pay for a toilet, but like, listen, if you want the companies on board, maybe it's a dollar. Across Europe, I've still got to keep euros in your pocket to have a piece where they should have a tax system for the piece.

Yeah. So maybe it's $1 for a number one, $2 for a number two, and different venues can sign up across the city. I'd rather be free like Australia, but listen, we are in America. We are in America. This is, I know Mundani, because Mundani's one over here. We've got a communist in charge of New York. Now you're doing that in New York, now that you've got a communist.

Look, I like Mandarney. I think it's good to shake things up a little bit. I think he's in the right direction. I don't like the defunding of police. And I thought that was one of the things in New York that they did really well. And then Giuliani was to get a whole lot of cops out there and actually keep the place safe because before that it was a bit of a fucking shit mess. So you don't want it to fall back into that.

But it is, yeah, look. How are you feeling? How is it down to the cellar? What's the chit chat about the new man? I think it's very divided, that's for sure. There's old Democrat people really don't like him and think that he's over-promised and he won't be able to deliver any of this stuff.

Other people think it's hope. It's a message to the Democrats at large that we don't want establishment people anymore like Hillary Clinton's. This is the Bernie Sanders sort of wing winning. I think that it's a message to the Democrats to change part a little bit. go in a different direction because what you're doing at the moment isn't fucking doing anything.

Well, it's for both parties, to be honest, which is identity politics and God willing where hope is over and that economic populism is back and that people want people to come in and make adjustments to the cost of living. And that while you're in power, do everything you can to make it cheaper for us because it doesn't matter who you fuck, what color you are or what you were born as, what we are is poor. That's the one identity that we share. So whatever leader really understands that and tries to help people out financially is

going to win the next election. And that's the scramble right now. And so there's the left-wing version of that. Then, you know, whoever the right wing... Keep taxing the rich more because the rich are... Because I've said this before, the 1% isn't the problem. It's the 1% of the 1%. It's the fucking, it's the Amazon's and all this type of stuff that Donald Trump's

who aren't paying taxes. I pay all my fucking taxes, man. I pay all of them. And the top tax bracket in America is at rate. So here's the problem with when it comes to the taxing of the rich, right, that 1% is this is the problem of living in a globalized world, is that countries compete with each other to have these companies headquartered and base there because these dogs can flee and move to different countries.

So then countries rat each other out by offering a lower tax rate and go, fine, they'll come here. And then the billionaires go over there. spend their dollars. And so we're in this shitty situation in the globalized economy, which is what both parties have wanted since, what, post-World War II, it's about, well, we're all one world. Well, when we're all one world, then people can go and fucking headquarter in whatever bullshit nation that they make up. And that, so if you close the borders down or you charge, so there's a lot of talk from like Janus Varifakis or that Gary Stevenson, which is if a company

wants to operate in your country, you just have to say the cost of operating and even having customers here is X, Y, and Z. Or you don't get access to our market. But this isn't an economics podcast, and I have an IQ sub 100, so I can't really play it out. But what I can tell you is that when Mundani said this, this is definitely anti-America, in my mind, the America that I like, which was we will prove there is no problem too large for government to solve and no concern too small for it to care about, which is, you know,

that's a very big government, non-traditional American idea. but if he does want to solve small problems. Small problems, like... Give me some fucking toilets, man. Oh, the toilets. That's just my pitch to Mundani. You should enforce, because if he says he's going to activate the government,

you should make a rule that people have to be able to piss in an establishment. But then homeless people will be in there shooting heroin. So, you know, that's the problem. Toilets small enough, so the facts can't get in there. Keep them at home. keep the fats out of the toilet they make a mess of the joint well when i used to do the health checks to get on to movies and stuff like that like you do a movie they make you do a health check and they ask have you ever had this

if you ever had that if you've ever had a condition you've ever done this you ever smoked cigarette and i'm like half the actors i met of fucking chain smoking in fact like i did the same health check that john candy would have had to do to get on movies and i i sometimes I had to do another medical check because I didn't pass the first one. You got what I'm saying? Yes, yes. Who was the doctor that approved Chris Farley for a film?

Well, maybe they just made a higher premium. You've seen some fat extras in your day. Actually, you actually come to think of it. Background actors are normally quite fit-looking. You never see like a rotund, just background actor. Unless, like, they have those stock images that they need for fat person. So when they have here, Trump bans fats, it's just a picture of a morbidly obese woman looking at a camera like, hmm, that has to be a person. Yeah, yeah.

That's an interesting modeling gig you get. We need you to look sad and obese. We'll give you $250. What's the article? That's about how people like you were banned in the country. Yeah. So this is, to stay on the point of like the globalized economy. me let's finish on this story

Subway since going to prison has gained any of the weight back Who? Jared from Subway Oh is Jared fat now Well you know what happened to him right I know what happened to the kids Yeah he was a he was a Pito

So he got sent him Right Doing Pido like things But You reckon Jared's gained it back He might have gotten jacked in there Yeah I'm just

For what point He's in there like 20 years is right is Jared from so well to defend himself because he's a rock spider so I imagine people would try to beat the shit out of him don't they yeah yeah like it's amazing he's lasted this long gained weight in prison has Jared gained weight in prison this is what this is what Google says when Jared Fogel first went to prison in 2016 sources indicated he gained 30 pounds reportedly due to binge eating and depression however in a handwritten letter from November 2021, Vogel stated he is a rigorous fitness routine and is currently in shape.

I run five miles a day and I'm the most healthy and in shape I've ever been. Oh, another attack on Subway. If he didn't ruin their brand already, it turns out not eating a foot of bread as being good for his diet, would you believe that? I did love that period when Subway was like, we're healthy. It's a foot of carbohydrate. My wife's naked over there. She just came out of the shower.

Hello. How are you? Yes. People want to hear your lovely voice. Hi. There you go. Animated woman. Always very lively.

I thought you were going to say that's one way to lose your appetite, but that would have been me. Oh. I'm ready. I can look at her naked all day and put up with it. No problem. And yet the listener is stuck with your low-lit face with your baseball cap against strange curtains. That doesn't. So let me finish on this story.

Ah, that's bad. Backlit. Well, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's 3.30. This is England. It's dark already. So, let's finish on this last story. Admit, and we were still doing the government shutdown, but who gives a rats? It's opening up the Democrats.

No, fine. So, down in two more years again. They'll just keep shutting it down every now and again and we'll go, oh, what are you going to do? So this is, this, I hate. You're talking about a globalized economy. If you want to shut something down, we should shut this down. New York City chicken joint employs cashiers zooming in from the Philippines and still wants you to tip.

Okay. Okay. I've got a lot to think. This thing of turning the iPad around with the 20, 22, 25, they start at 20, right? You only meant to tip waiters. I do it because, you know, I, I'm a very good tipper in restaurants. I'm a very good tip for about 25 in restaurants.

You got me, you're doing all right. When I'm buying a Subway sandwich and you turn around in the 20, 20, 22 and 25, we're doing this for fucking everything now, like every single fucking thing. I know. And it used to be like 15, 18, 20. Yeah, yeah. And then they just bummed it. My weed shop, it's a shop.

It's not, it's a weed shop. But it, like, so I buy, when I buy my weed, I buy about $300 worth of weed at a time, right? I just go there, get my weed for a couple of months or whatever, a month, right? Buy 300 bucks and then they turn around. You want me to tip 60 bucks? Yeah. And you're, I'm working in a fucking shop. I'm probably a five bucks or something.

Tifflation. Tipping someone for buying clothes from them. They didn't cook the weed. It was $7.11. You know what I never also get is, you know, when you go to a restaurant, you're like, okay. So let's say someone goes to a restaurant and it's a special occasion and they buy like, they spend like $600 on wine and you pay tips on the expensive wine. And then like the waiter has made, let's say the check is a thousand bucks or something for some big dinner.

And then the waiter has made like $250 for waiting on that one table. I always think, like, is there a cap on how much your work was really, like, we were in the restaurant for two hours, we're paying you $250 bucks. Yeah, but they are always a better waiter. You go to a mission-saint-a-restro, I know. But I'm poor, so obviously I'm not spending that, but I see rich people do that, and I go, wow, that waiter just made, like, $500 off you. I used to do the big tips, right?

I still do. Sometimes I'll do, like, a $500 tip for a person or, you know, a thousand-old tip. I've done that, right? near Christmas or something like that I only now do it to uglies if you get a big tip from me

that's my opinion on you you're there to support the uglies are you? The good looking at getting tips all the time they're always getting problems you know what I actually you know what I agree with now you want to talk about

economic populism when I think my credit score should be attached to my bank card and when I tap it it lets the system know that I'm broke and it's like this guy doesn't have this guy's adjust how much you want him to tip. You know, the bank should give information like,

this is a straw man, he's got nothing. I agree with if they aren't going to have a working wage and all that type of stuff, all restaurant receipts just at 18% across the board. Just so that we all know, we all get the same bills. So here's what's happening at this restaurant. Yeah. We can finish up.

The restaurant chain in New York is outsourcing its stuff to the Philippines using screens. Why the Philippines are not India? We always outsource to India. Is it because behind the counter the Philippines have a nicer voice? What is it? What is the... First of all, the Filipinos are pleasant and speak great English. But this is also selling ramen.

So I guess they're like, and it's not Japanese. What do you think? My Indian wife is looking over. He's only wearing a top and no bottoms right now. But you said the Philippines are nice and pleasant where the Indians are. autistic men in a chat room yeah okay she's nodding along she says you're right there

oh no she's going from so to side that means she's confused or happy with her no one's positive no I don't know like what are you the Filipino like a Filipino waitress because that's why we outsource a lot of the cool centers there is because they are it is kind of like an American colony

of sorts right is the American bases are there and hello sir so great to meet you People are a very gentle, soft-spoken folk. I think it... Except for the men. The men are, like, hardcore, dude. That's why you got the Manny Pachiaz from there

because they have Spanish blood. So they still have that. They have this, like, hot-tempered. Like, they have like a fighting streak to them, the Filipinos. So you go in, there'll just be a screen there. What's wrong with the machines? Like, if you go to McDonald's and you press, your burger, and then the receipt comes out, why do we need them at all?

Well, it says it's using hostesses on Zoom calls instead of input. employees to greet customers so you come in and there'll be like a screen hello welcome to sansan ramen the shop which specializes in fried chicken and ramen are taking advantage of the massive wealth gap between NYC with a minimum wage is 16 an hour and a southeast Asian nation where the hourly pays close to $3.75 so here's the thing you can raise that this is how fucking dog-like businesses can be you can raise the minimum wage and in Instead, they go, okay, we now zoom in or get robots at $3.75 an hour. Fuck you.

So that's like the hard thing in a globalized economy is that people will just go, we'll just take advantage of people from this country. So why would you want to go there, by the way? I don't get that. It's a joke. What, to the chicken shop? Yeah, I don't want to support that. Fuck that.

The chicken. It depends how good the chicken is. If Cain's Chicken only gave me people from Latland on an iPad, I'd fucking show up. From LAPLAND? Maybe that was about Swedish girls. And you pay them double what the American... I think the minimum there is about 60 bucks an hour or something. Yeah, yeah.

And you can tip them real high tips. They'll do whatever you want them to do for the tips. It says, a reporter for the New York Post was greeted by Pye. A 33-year-old hostess who works from her living room in the Philippine city of Subic. You know what? You know what people call a pigloof-factor? Gide, pie lovers. Good-a-gay, gillie, pie lovers?

Oh, I'm a fellow pie addict. Pie maniac. This is a custer-fuck pie. She reckons she gets sometimes $40 tips. Yeah. because guys are going so basically we know how this will work is that guys that love Asian women that don't want to travel anymore are going to go in there eat fried chicken and treat it like a date and go show us your tits yeah if you have $50 yeah yeah I'll tip

you $50 show us the tip and the next thing what's the code for the bathroom that's me no it's me sneaking in and she's going to say sir sir customers only very pretty woman I'm just off for a wake I'll be right back I'll have the chicken catsu

I guarantee you these waitresses will be sexually harassed a sweetheart you're you're telling me I went to a hotel that it was an Indian bloke on a screen

and he wasn't in America and he was checking me into the hotel that was a pretty rough hotel that was somewhere in Florida I did that I think this is the way of the future

no different from outsourcing call centers and just having people for customer complaints. Yeah, but I think, you know, don't you want, when I go out to restaurant, don't you want the waiter that's coming around like, coffee, sweetheart? It's a fast food joint. Unless it's a robot that comes up with their face on a screen. No, this is a restaurant. It's a sit-down joint. Yeah, but you still order at the counter.

Well, yeah, there's not a person in there. But here's what they're saying, which is very true. It says today it's a Filipino woman behind a screen controlling the system. But it isn't crazy to believe that in the next six to 12 months, it will be an AI avatar that does all the same things. Yeah. So probably there will be a world where you'll go to KFC and they will just animate the kernel

and you'll have the kernel serving you every single time on a screen. Ah, I do declare, sir. All right, no, I'd still want to... You'd like the Zingerbox, which is, sir. Still on a hot chick in a sexy colonel outfit from Halloween. There would be one. There's a sexy outfit for everything. Listen, you can pick your own person.

Yeah, she'll have the goatee, but she'll have a rig on her, I'll tell you. Or more than likely, it'll be like, you can pick like shack. Celebrities, when a celebrity endorses the company, they'll be working at the store as an AI avatar of themselves. Right? McDonald's will have the clown where it'll have. Ronald. He'll have Ronald. He's the restaurant's named

after him. He was his family, Ronald McDonald. Yeah. And he serves you. That's the world in which we're going. And the thing is people are so anti-social now and so freaked out about human cues that maybe people will like that. Here's a question for you. Do you reckon there's a Ronald McDonald's

in this world that isn't that clown? That's old enough before McDonald's. There would have been plenty of them before McDonald's. But since McDonald's started, no one's named their child Ronald if their second name's McDonald.

Well, the easiest way to do that is to go to Facebook. Oh, yes, there's many Ronald McDonald's. That must be hard. Ronald McDonald recently did a dog walk for a charity. Before cooking them all up into Britain.

Yeah. All right, well, I figure we should probably leave it there. You've got a big show today at the Cambridge Union. I do have a big show. I do have a big show. Okay, but remember everyone, buy tickets to come and see me, Amos, at the Beacon Theatre, November 30th. We're going to be there. And I'm also going to be in Boston that week.

And then Reno's coming up. Reno's still got some tickets to sell. So Reno, Boston, and New York. And I've got some Fantasy Springs. I've got a whole lot of stuff that I probably mentioned at the beginning of the podcast. Tickets will be 50% off

because Jim will be zooming in and he'll be played by a Filipino man. Logan machines where you just put a hologram machine. He's deep into that. Howie Mandel's deep into the hologram machines. No, it would be great if you outsource to a Filipino called Jin Jeffrey. Jin Jeffries.

Who zooms in for all your shows? Gun, very bad. Gun's no good. Oscar Vistorius, can't run. Upper, upa, Gunter. I don't know it's a Japanese guy. Now, upa, Gunta, upper. All right, that's what's happening at this moment.

The government has reopened. Good on those people. Who knows? The devils will be in the details. I like the other people get, you get your news from a prime man, and some people get their news from us. So that's second. The people who haven't watched the news

that don't know about the FedEx plane actually crashing into the building will be just be like, wow, what the fuck? You know, in the good that we teach people. My God, I hope that isn't true. Enjoy the rest of the UK. Thanks, mate.

Thank you.